Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first time Levi comes to collect Petra’s soul is 108 CE.

She’s the daughter of a wealthy merchant, apparent from the house she’s living in. The Roman Empire has just entered the 133rd year of Pax Romana, a period of peace. However, despite the absence of bloody war, both rich and poor are still unable to escape the perils of disease and plague.

He has a list of souls he needs to visit today who are supposed to die from the outbreak spreading within this city. Levi treads up the stairs to the second floor, entering the white pillars of the dimly lit room. She’s lying on the bed, barely breathing. Her honey-auburn hair is plastered to the side of her cheek from profusely sweating throughout the night. What he imagines that was once a face with youthful baby fat is now hollow, sunken and pale.

There’s a doctor by her side, face covered with a piece of cloth to protect himself from the sickness. The man takes a damp towel and lays it across her forehead. Her lips are very chapped, even though the apprentice just tipped a few drops of water into her mouth. Occasionally, her petite body will shudder as if she was cold, even though it’s a warm spring night.

Looking down at the scroll in his hand, he begins to cross off the name of the young teenager that appeared on the page.

Petra Ral. This is her first life — a first-time soul. Scanning the brief description given, she’s been violently ill for the past two weeks, coughing up blood and burning up with a fever.

The grim reaper wrinkles his nose at the strewn fabric covered with the red liquid lain across the olive bedside table. The scent of medicine, wax and oils are apparent in the air. But the stenches that permeates his immortal senses are those of musty sweat, iron and death.

Human lives are so fragile.

Levi patiently waits as the rise and fall of her chest slow down more and more. Finally, her breathing stops. The doctor pauses in his movements and gingerly lays two fingers on her arm. After feeling nothing, his shoulders noticeably slump, and lets out a sigh. The doctor lightly tells the apprentice to come with him out of the room.

“Is this a dream? Who are you?” a delicate voice calls out from behind him anxiously.

Turning around casually, Levi sees the soul of Petra Ral. He almost sighs in relief because she looks more normal than the other souls he’s collected tonight. Her face is still pale but there are no signs of blood on her. Sometimes, souls tend to appear in the afterlife exactly as how they’ve died; Levi’s been surprised on more than one occasion by a soul with an arrow sticking out of his head, a soul whose limbs are grotesquely torn off, or a soul covered in blood, dirt and grime.

He’s seen enough souls today who appeared before him after giving their final bloody cough, getting the substance all over their clothes and face. Some of their sudden appearances have given Levi a mild panic attack. But for now, he appreciates that he can now deal with one less bloody mess.

“You died. I’m here to escort you to the Afterlife. The place is where souls are determined to either wait before reincarnation or to go to Hell,” Levi responds in mechanical and practiced fashion, rolling up the scroll in one hand.

Petra gawks at him astonished, mouth agape and body as stiff as a board. He lets out a silent exhale, expecting this reaction. All humans are shocked the first time they die. Souls continuously get reincarnated, but don’t remember their previous lives while alive. However, in their final moments, humans will remember the feeling and process of dying. Once they pass away, the souls remember everything from their prior lives. Therefore, the routine to arrive in the Afterlife becomes more familiar for them, making Levi’s job easier.

That isn’t to say souls don’t continue to bitch and whine about how things are unfair, they shouldn’t have to die in this lifetime, they still have unfinished business, etc., even after going through numerous lives. Levi usually begins to tune them out when they throw a hissy fit. Sometimes, he’ll have to force them through the gates. On a few occasions, a soul has been prone to run amok, making his job infinitely harder than it needs to be.

And then, there are situations — like now — when souls take a longer-than-desired time to digest this information. A prickle of annoyance stabs at him when Petra continues standing there in her position, her hazel eyes gaping at the physical body lying on the bed. He grows restless quite quickly: he’s not done with the list for today, and this girl needs to hurry the hell up.

“Oi. You good?”

She snaps out her reverie and then stares at him, a bit offended. “Well, I just died, so I’m trying to process that.”

He bites back an annoyed grown. The girl’s expression then becomes half wondrous and half curious. “Are you Thanatos?”

Tch. Levi rolls his eyes. He’s been asked that too many times today. “No. I’m a grim reaper. I’m a form of Death that collects souls when they die. You humans merely create deities and figures to cope with the idea.”

Petra mouth makes an “O” shape, prompting another spike of irritation to run through him. He needs to finish ushering all the souls for tonight, and there are still many people that need to die. Tapping his foot impatiently, Levi says, “Well if there’s nothing else, go through those pillars —” he points the way he just entered from “— and you’ll enter the Afterlife.”

She looks to her left, sensing a unique shift in the air directing her to move out of the room. However, her feet are planted to the floor. He sees uncertainty flash across Petra’s face as her hands wring in front of her body.

Levi suppresses a growl of frustration. “Something wrong?” he asks in — what he thinks is — a calm voice (but actually sounds tight and exasperated).

Erwin told him to be more kind when carrying out his duties.

Facing him, Petra’s eyes meet his. The girl looks a bit frightened as she asks quietly, “Can I see my family before I leave?”

Levi has been alive for about 550 years. He’s young but has seen his fair share of humans dying. Needless to say, he’s not sympathetic right now. The reaper immediately shakes his head. “No. I have a schedule that needs to be kept. Get your ass moving.”

The fear in her eyes is replaced with a flash of anger. The lines on her face harden a bit, causing her eyebrows to scrunch together. Putting her hand on her hips, she asserts stubbornly, “I want to see them before I leave.”

“And I have other souls to collect. You’re wasting my time,” he growls. His dark-silver eyes narrow in blatant vexation.

“Well, we’re wasting more time by arguing. You could save it by letting me visit them,” Petra retorts back icily.

Levi is seriously tempted to just snap his fingers and force the brat to go through those pillars. However, as he’s about to do so, the doctor comes back into the room. Trailing behind him are two people with coverings over their faces. One of them is a man has light brown hair, and the other is a woman with similar honey-auburn hair to the teenager in front of him.

Petra lets out a little gasp and briskly walks toward them. However, they can’t see her. No human can see the souls of those who died. Therefore, the two tentatively tread over to the bedside where Petra’s corpse is lying. The woman lets out a little sob when she reaches out with trembling fingers to touch her daughter’s hand. The man rubs her back soothingly, but his shoulders also begin shaking. Soon, both fall to their knees wailing.

Levi glances at the young soul in front of him and catches a variety of emotions arising in her demeanor. The most poignant ones are sadness and fear. He pauses for a moment to take in her youthful features, reminding him that this is her first time dying. And then he thinks about how humans would describe her age as “the beginnings of womanhood”, a milestone in moving to the next stage of her life.

Begrudgingly, the reaper supposes her death is unfortunate, considering she made it three years past the age that most youth during the period evidently die. Petra’s bottom lip begins to tremble, and Levi can see the beginning waves of moisture coming out of her eyes.

Tch. Humans. Letting out an annoyed sigh, he’s merely says, “Make it quick”. Except his tone isn’t as harsh as it was prior.

She nods immediately and crosses the room quickly to squeeze herself between the two adults on the floor. Petra strings one arm around each parent, hugging them tightly. What her parents feel is probably a feather-light brush of cold air on their skin. Even though she’s invisible to them, Petra lets out her sorrow and grief alongside their cries. Levi looks away at the sight, giving her a moment of privacy.

True to her promise, Petra briefly holds onto them and gives them quick kisses on the cheek. She stands up, tears running down her cheeks and hands covering her mouth. Her posture is delicately hunched over, and her shoulders are shaking as she gives them one final look. When she turns back to Levi, he catches sight of her puffy eyes that are filled with anguish.

The sight of her is pitiful to the point where Levi almost feels discomfort. However, he makes eye contact with her and gives a little head jerk to the pillars. Petra gives a little hiccup as traces of ire leak back into her expression. Before moving, she gives him a glare, which he thinks would’ve been more piercing if she weren’t crying to her heart’s content.

When she finally steps through the pillars, a warm orange glow encompasses her as she enters the Afterlife.

Levi then hauls ass to get to his next location, hoping that the next soul won’t be a first-time soul or a bloody mess.

The second time he collects her soul is in 410 CE.

The Visigoths have just taken over Rome, marking a turning point in the collapse of the Western Roman Empire. What was once a magnificent city is now unrecognizable from its past glory before the schism. Buildings and statues have been torn down, debris and waste lying on the streets. Temples and basilicas have been set on fire, smoke and dust covering the city. People are panicking and screaming as they attempt to flee from the invading soldiers. The unfortunate ones have been cut down like animals. And an even more unfortunate fate awaits those who will become captured by the Visigoths.

Given everything that Levi has seen tonight and given everything he knows will happen to the captives, he believes this particular group he’s currently ushering is lucky. There was a crowd of people running while the rubble of a falling building collapsed on top of them, killing many people on impact. He’s leaning by the remnants of a statue, checking his scroll and crossing off the necessary names.

One by one, the souls start to emerge. They all look horrific: blood and dirt covering their clothes and body. Some have misshapen limbs. Some have very obvious dents in their head. A few have twisted spines and necks.

Not the worst that he’s seen, but he still doesn’t want to look at them for too long. Some are disoriented, so Levi is able to easily direct them to the afterlife. Some begin whining and throwing tantrums, to which he quickly loses his patience and forces them through the gateway (he still has many souls to collect, and there are little grim reapers out there to help him tonight).

When he gets to the last soul though, the girl is glaring at him with crossed arms. There’s blood dripping down the side of her head, which blends into her honey-auburn hair. Her tunic dress is splattered with dirt and blood. He looks at the scroll and sees that this is Petra Ral’s second time dying. He raises an eyebrow at her, holding her acerbic stare and wondering why she’s so angry.

“Are you not going to let me say goodbye to my family again?” the brat all but growls at him.

He blinks. He might’ve said something bad (or rude) to her before? Levi truly doesn’t remember every soul he’s collected. There are some notable ones, but most of them are just faces to him. He does vaguely remember the vibrancy of her hair yet can’t recall what would’ve made her so hostile towards him.

She scoffs and throws her hair back, droplets of blood splattering on the ground beneath her. He tries to repress an eye twitch.

“It was during Pax Romana. I just died from some disease and instead of trying to let me move on in peace, you were completely disrespectful about letting me see my family.”

Ah. He now had some recollection of a young teenager throwing a hissy fit during one of the worst outbreaks he’d seen in that period. Hange later told him the spread was most likely carried because the Romans enjoyed their public bathhouses too much. Tch.

Nevertheless, Levi shrugs and says, “There’s a certain window of opportunity before you pass onto the Afterlife. If your soul stays on earth too long after you die, you run the risk of not being able to move on and becoming a vengeful spirit.”

Rolling up the scroll, he then comments, “And I doubt you’d want to do that to your family.”

The girl looks startled for a second, before a mix a disgruntlement and defiance appear on her face. She breaks eye contact with him, looking to the ground and simply grumbling, “Well, saying goodbye to your loved ones doesn’t take that long. You could’ve just let me do that.”

“I recall I did, even though I was on a tight schedule.” Levi then hears something explode to his far right and realizes that he needs to be on his way. “But no. Move along, I don’t have time for your shit.”

The brat rapidly lifts her hazel eyes to meet his dark-silver ones again. Her face begins to gain traces of anger again. Petra opens her mouth to throw another retort at him, but Levi doesn’t want to hear anything. Therefore, he snaps his fingers, and her expression changes into one of bafflement as her body is suddenly tugged to the side. Petra then disappears into an orange light.

Levi looks at the carnage around him and lets out an exhale. He’s a young immortal (only about 850 years old), but humans are becoming predictable in the most animal of ways.

Unraveling the scroll again, he groans at the number of souls that need to be collected at the next destination.

The third time he comes to her is during the reign of Charlemagne in 803 CE.

When he comes to her room as she’s surrounded by her family, Levi thinks this is probably one of the kinder deaths he’s seen today. Petra has been consistently sick for the past month. Her husband is holding onto her hand by the bedside and the young woman gingerly turns her head to him, smiling weakly. The man brings her finger to his lips, kissing them desperately, as if that would revive her body to full health. Her eight-year-old son is trying to keep his tears in as he gazes at the edge of the bed. He’s hugging his younger sister, who is sobbing to her heart’s content.

As he leans back by the wall with one foot propped behind him watching the life go out of her, Levi marks the name in the book. He makes a mental note to ask Hange if they know what kind of illness this is when he gets back to Paradise. The beginnings of an outbreak could occur, and he would like to prepare for an increase in deaths, if need be.

Sure enough, the rise and fall of her chest slows and eventually her eyes close forever. Levi crosses his arms dispassionately as he waits for her soul to appear. In front of him though, the entire family is wailing even louder than they were before.

He taps his index finger onto his left bicep, listening to their cries with a little sigh. It’s a bit amazing that humans can express so many emotions. However, Levi can’t imagine feeling all those things without getting tired from the effort of doing so.

“Am I going to continue seeing you whenever I die?” a high-pitched voice sounds to his right.

The reaper lazily glances towards the young woman. Petra’s demeanor upon seeing him is filled with annoyance. She’s wearing a long-sleeved light brown dress that complements the vibrancy of her hair. Her face is pale, but her cheeks aren’t terribly gaunt. Her hazel eyes are narrowed at him, and her mouth is tugged downwards in a frown.

Levi rolls his eyes. “Tch. I don’t make this list. I’m just handed one every day.” He brings his hand up to show the animal-skin bound book before tucking it into his black cloak.

She glares at him again before her sight lands on her family. Upon that, he sees her expression soften and her eyes fill with moisture again. Without looking at him — or asking for permission — Petra immediately crosses the room where she first gives her husband a back hug, kissing him on top of his dark-blonde hair. Then she goes to where her children are, wraps them underneath each arm and kisses each of their cheeks, nuzzling her nose against their hair.

The gestures are so affectionate that Levi wonders how she could quickly go from looking like she wanted to gut him to showering her family with kisses and hugs.

When she’s done with her goodbyes, she takes a deep breath and then turns to him, fists clenched by her sides. Her eyes are mildly puffy, and she throws him a challenging stare. He simply raises an eyebrow and inaudibly sighs. Levi makes a head motion to the doors leading out of the bedroom. Petra sniffles before wiping the tears off her cheeks and slowly walking to the entrance. As she puts one foot through the threshold, the familiar warm orange glow envelops her and then she disappears.

Levi turns his head to the family in front of him and thinks that maybe he should pay his mother a visit. He can’t remember the last time he had tea with her.

Her fourth life ends in 1204, during the Fourth Crusades.

The Crusaders have just sacked Constantinople, burning and looting the city for three days. The event has horrified the Orthodox world, the once-beautiful city unrecognizable from its former renowned magnificence. Parts of the walls protecting Constantinople have been broken and torn down.

Despite their promises not to, the Crusaders have breached the city's holy sanctuaries, destroying or stealing anything they could lay hands on. Many ancient medieval Greek and Roman works have been damaged. The invaders have wrecked and rummaged through temples, defiling tombs of past emperors and rulers. Thousands of people have been killed, violated and/or captured.

Levi watches the bloodshed and smoke covering the city without batting an eye. As the reaper walks through the streets that are covered with rubble and fire, he only has one thought running through his head: humans are truly predictable.

Erwin has mentioned there may be more to them than meets the eye, even in times of violence and war. Levi doesn’t agree and doesn’t think he ever will.

He steps into a ruined basilica. When he enters, he sees — what once the insides of a glorious building — toppled statues, broken lamps, obliterated chandeliers, and torn-down paintings and works of art. The place is mainly deserted. It was supposed to be a sanctuary for women and children, but the soldiers wanted their spoils of war.

Typical.

Levi avoids the waste around his feet as he goes deeper into the building and sees the remains of some people crushed under the remnants of stone, trying to draw in as much breath as possible. As he steps around the sacked altar, Levi sees the body of Petra lying on the ground. She’s on her side with a stab wound to her stomach. Her face is sweating from the pain and exertion of trying to stay alive. Her hand is trying to put pressure to the wound, but he knows it’s no use. He puts one elbow onto the stripped wood and waits.

The pool of blood around her gets wider and wider. He taps his finger on the edge of the surface.

Her eyes start to droop more and more. He taps twice before taking his book out and marking the name.

“Why did this happen?” a low voice sounds in front of him.

Not looking up, Levi simply responds, “Because you’re human.” He puts the quill away and tucks the book back into the vest of his black tunic shirt. When he glances up to see the young woman in front of him, the reaper sees that she’s staring forlornly at her physical body. She directs her gaze towards the rest of the room, looking confused and anguished.

It’s like she’s a wilted flower. Petra’s posture sags even more. She wraps her arms around herself, stooping over a bit. Meeting his dark-silver eyes, she asks quietly, “Why did they do something like this?”

“Because they’re human,” Levi says coolly. He recognizes from her expression that she’s desperate for a reasonable answer. But the reaper believes that reason and logic are not traits most of these creatures have.

Petra scoffs, her shoulders shaking lightly. A mix of sentiments appear on her face: anger, sadness and misery. She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and proceeding to question, “I don’t suppose I can find out if my family is all right?”

Levi gives a wordless shake of his head.

She exhales a breath of frustration, casting her eyes down to the floor. Finally, Petra walks down the steps from the altar, her feet daintily touching the floor. A few feet away, she pauses. She twists back to face him and asks, “Do you think things like this will still happen in the future?”

Without any hesitation, Levi responds, “Absolutely.”

Her hazel eyes gain a more intense emotion, a stark contrast from her previous demeanor. “Why?”

“Because humans are predictable.”

Levi thinks about all the wars he’s seen over the means of uniting people under one common country. All the battles that people have fought against others under the guise of “the greater good”. All the fights between kings, emperors and rulers for the throne. All the internal political spats over managing empires, which always end up with humans turning against one another. All the waste rulers have laid to people that were different from them, in the name of whatever twisted belief they claimed was their motivation.

He’s a young immortal, but even he can see that humans aren’t likely to change their ways.

Petra gives a little hmph, pursing her lips. He raises an eyebrow at her, wondering why she reacted like that. The young girl simply turns back and continues walking. As she steps through the doors, another flash of light covers her as she disappears into the Afterlife.

Can they change?

As quickly as that question pops up in his mind, Levi also quickly pushes it out. It’s nothing of his concern anyway. Glancing around the place, the reaper realizes that he still has work to do and suppresses a groan.

He meets her again in 1483. She’s a maid to Edward the V and his brother, Richard of Shrewsbury, in her fifth life.

The two boys are only 13 and 10, respectively, but already carry the weights of heavy political burdens. The crown should’ve been passed to Edward the V. However, their uncle, Richard III, seized the opportunity to act as Lord Protector. Within a year, Richard took the crown for himself, ousting his two nephews and sending them to live in the Tower of London. Dissent among the court stirs and there are talks of reinstating Edward as king.

It’s obvious to Levi the reason why some in the council are choosing to “help”: they have their own intentions, and the boys are their tools to do so.

All the immortals have varying sentiments on human characteristics. Greed, in Levi’s opinion, is one of the defining ones. Kenny thinks it’s entertaining, commenting that “everyone is a slave to something”. Erwin thinks it’s predictable — and extraordinary, to some extent. His mother thinks it’s heartbreaking.

Levi also believes it’s predictable. He also believes that being subject to those traits makes them pitiful and weak.

Those thoughts only get reinforced when he leans back on the cold stone wall, watching a man in black clothing creep across the floor to the two boys sleeping in the bed. Given how Levi doesn’t notice any servants in the Tower tonight, he reasons that they were either sent away or paid off. A dagger is in the person’s hand, bearing the emblem of the House of York. The reaper inwardly snorts. The uncle sending an assassin to kill his two nephews over a headpiece.

Humans really can’t change.

The man steps on a creaky floorboard and not three seconds later, the door to the bedroom flies open. Petra is on the other end, puffing and out of breath. The lantern in her hand illuminates the room as she takes in the sight before her. A loud gasp comes out of her mouth, prompting the assassin to turn around. He’s about to move towards her when the young woman, in a fit of panic, throws her lamp at his head.

Levi thinks the aim is incredibly lucky. The assassin drops to the ground, screaming and attempting to put out the fire catching onto his clothes. Petra maneuvers around him to get to the two boys rousing from their slumber. She’s so focused on getting them out of bed that she doesn’t realize what’s happening behind her.

The man has recovered and taken off his cloak, stamping repeatedly on the material to get the fire out. Once the flames have dimmed, he grabs the dagger that fell on the floor and crosses over to where Petra is. He quickly raises his arm and stabs her in the back twice.

“Ms. Petra!” Richard and Edward are crying and screaming.

The two boys are hugging one another, frozen in place. The killer reaches for them, but Petra holds onto the burly man and tries to wrestle the dagger from his grip. A very hard thing to do for a petite person like her with an injury like that. But she still somehow manages to do so.

Levi raises a delicately shaped eyebrow. He didn’t expect that.

“Go,” she gasps as a trickle of blood leaks out of her mouth. Her eyes carry fear, but her expression is still determined as she continues to struggle with the assassin. Edward regains his senses and drags his little brother out of bed. The two boys run out of the room. Finally, the assassin kicks Petra to the floor, knocking the breath out of her lungs. When she tries to get up again, he stabs her again in the heart twice. The movements are quick and concise. He moves down the stairs, following the cries of the two boys for help.

A sudden cough comes out of Petra’s mouth, causing blood to dribble onto the floor. Her breathing is getting more and more labored. The red liquid continues to spread on her clothes. However, even in her condition, she crawls to the door with tears dripping down her cheeks. The reaper blinks twice, mildly surprised that she still has the effort to do so.

Levi takes out the book and crosses off the name.

“Can you save them?” Petra’s voice rings through the room. He doesn’t need to look up to know her face is a mix of urgency and fear.

A flicker of annoyance shoots through him. There is an order to everything in life, and Levi has no intention of bundling that. His existence brings death. It’s who he is, and defying that process goes against everything that he stands for.

The only outward indication of his irritation is the harsh snap of his book. “I collect souls. I don’t alter or force death. Everything is determined by fate when you’re born.”

She bristles with anger, her fists clenching tightly. “They don’t deserve to die when they have their whole lives ahead of them.”

“Not many people do.” He nods slightly in agreement. “But their uncle is a shitbag.”

That’s what it means to be human.

Petra exhales a deep breath and screws her eyes shut. They open again, her gaze eventually falling onto her physical body. Her face reflects fatigue and weariness. She wipes her mouth with her sleeve, causing him to discreetly cringe.

Something is on his mind though. He can’t help but ask (in a bit softer tone than normal), “Did you know?”

“Not until it was too late. I forced it out of the tower-keeper because I thought it was strange that all of us were sent home tonight,” Petra replies quietly.

He understands that humans can care for others. What he doesn’t understand is why she would deem her life meaningless over those of two boys she has no relation with. Petra had no means to save them and herself. To him, coming back was a reckless decision. “So then, why do that?”

Petra raises her head to observe him. They briefly stare at one another. She looks a little bit bewildered at his question, upon noting how serious he looks. Her eyebrows furrow as she says, “I wanted to protect them.”

“Even at the expense of your own life?”

The lines on Petra’s face become a little more defined. She crosses her arms over her chest, responding firmly, “What matters is that I tried my best to help them. I loved those boys; if I could do it all over again, I would’ve done whatever possible to keep them alive, even if I had to die trying.”

Levi doesn’t say anything. Her demeanor is stern as he studies her. The reaper can see that she’s sincere. The thing is, he still doesn’t completely understand it. Not when she also had her life ahead of her. And not when she chose to interfere in a greedy political struggle that she had nothing to do with.

Shifting his gaze away from her, he merely says gruffly, “Go through those doors.”

Upon that sentence, Petra’s face contorts a bit, taking on an imploring look when she asks, “Can I at least wait to see if they’re safe?”

Interestingly, he finds himself a little bit reluctant to deny her request. But he’s not letting a soul potentially run amok and delay his schedule. The reaper shakes his head, tucking his hands into his breeches. “I’m sorry.”

Petra’s shoulders and stance are rigid. She sends him an unhappy look, to which Levi holds it with his perpetual blank expression. A sudden surge of frustration goes through him, but he tries to repress it. Forcing himself to take a breath, Levi tries to gently say, “Maybe you can see them in the Afterlife.”

That statement causes Petra to heave a large, exasperated sigh. “That’s the thing. I don’t want to see them in the Afterlife.”

He recognizes that he obviously hasn’t been able to pacify her successfully; nevertheless, Levi is gradually losing his temper. It’s not like he said or did anything wrong. So, he scowls a little more than usual and makes another head motion, indicating she needs to move. Petra turns towards the door in a huff, her demeanor annoyed with him as well.

A little feeling nags at him when he sees her reaction. He shifts his weight from leg to leg, a little bit uncomfortable with the situation. Just as she’s about to put one foot through the entrance though, something compels him to comment, “What you did was impulsive.”

She snaps her head back to him, her mouth falling open. He cringes, noticing that his talent — or lack thereof — with words quickly causes the shock to be replaced with anger. Her eyes flash and she is clearly about to yell at him, until he averts his stare and says a bit begrudgingly, “But it was brave, for a human.”

Pausing, her fury fades. Levi hesitantly shifts his eyes to observe her. Petra’s appearance now reveals disbelief and astonishment. He’d have found how quickly she switched emotions amusing if he wasn’t so damn self-conscious about saying those things. Briefly, he wonders with vexation why he even wanted to placate her in the first place.

The room is silent. His posture stiffens from the awkward atmosphere. After a few moments of gaping at him, something must leak through his face because the corners of Petra’s eyes crinkle upwards a bit. She responds in a low voice, “Thank you, but I just did what was right.”

For the first time since he’s known her soul, he realizes that there are gold specks in her eyes.

She goes through the doorway, disappearing in the ray of light. And Levi finds himself wondering if all humans are truly predictable.

For reasons unknown to him, Levi discovers he pays a little more attention to Earth from Paradise in her sixth life.

She’s the daughter of a French duke this time. Her life is full of comfort. She doesn’t need to do any laborious work. She’s surrounded by wonderful material pleasures every day. She’s safe from thieves and assassins. She has a handsome and wealthy husband. Maids and servants attend to her every need.

Except, her mansion is more like a cage. And she’s more like a pretty bird put on display.

Whenever he casts a quick glance to Petra’s life as a young girl, he sees how energetic and vigorous she is. She loves running around the mansion and the grounds outside, exasperating her mother when she plays in the dirt and explores the forests outside her home. She makes friends with the servants, despite her status and upbringing. Levi strangely lets out tiny snorts when he catches her playing pranks on unsuspecting guests as a child — especially on little counts or dukes who come over to the mansion at the request of her father.

Sometimes though, he becomes surprised by how much the gold specks within her hazel eyes shine like the sun whenever Petra acts according to her heart’s desire.

But he sees that as she gets older, she gets more and more tutors educating her in the ways of becoming a woman. She learns how to dine with etiquette, how to weave and embroider, how to run a household, how to arrange flowers, when to listen to her husband, and many other things expected of a wife. She does read books on literature, arts and sciences; however, the education only serves to make her stand out as a noteworthy candidate for a wealthy suitor. Petra is not expected to act on anything with the information she learns.

Petra’s expected to have knowledge but not have opinions. She’s expected to listen and not speak. She’s expected to be and to not do.

All this is typical of a woman in her status, but she longs to be more. Petra wants to be like a few of the women writers in France. She wants to be like Catherine de Medici. The Queen is an inspiration to the young teenager. When she hears of the few women in France going beyond their “position”, Petra’s eyes light up again. Unfortunately, it’s hard for her to have such achievements in a time where she’s not expected to do anything.

He’s in France one night when he catches a glimpse of her from the sky while collecting another soul nearby. Petra’s at the theater with her husband, but she’s barely watching the play. Her movements are almost mechanical when she greets and interacts with other wealthy patrons. Interestingly, Levi notices the most striking things are that her smile is practiced, her demeanor is restrained, and her eyes are dull.

Upon seeing that the gold specks have disappeared, Levi believes it’s truly unsurprising that humans can confine themselves in a manner akin to confining animals for leisure.

What is unanticipated, however, is the pang of discomfort that shoots through him at this thought.

But he leaves to go to his next location, pushing the young woman out his mind.

It’s not long until he comes to collect her soul again in 1571.

He’s standing in the corner of the room, averting his eyes as she screams at the top of her lungs. A maid rushes around her, downing towels in water and using them to wipe her sweat. The midwife is talking in a calm voice to her, urging her to continue pushing. She grits her teeth in determination and fear. Blood pools between her legs and another cry rips out from her throat. Her hazel eyes are petrified, and the color has completely vanished from her face.

The cry of a baby sounds, prompting Petra to fall back onto the sheets. Attempting to catch her breath, she strains her neck to catch sight of her child. Levi somewhat scrunches his nose, thinking it looks very wrinkled and shriveled. The midwife quickly goes to clean the thing. The maids attempt to clean and stitch Petra up.

But too much blood is coming out. The servants begin panicking, unsure of how to stop the bleeding. The midwife puts the baby down in the cradle and attempts to help. Despite their efforts, Petra’s breathing slows. Her skin grows a little paler and her full eyelashes flutter against her lids.

The baby cries even harder. Levi inaudibly sighs before taking out his book and crossing off her name. Not a moment later, he looks up and sees Petra standing in front of the cradle. Even from a distance, he can see the water forming in her eyes as she looks over her baby. She sings some tune while softly stroking its hair and cheeks. It can’t hear her, but Levi thinks the child can somehow feel her presence. The baby’s cries become quieter. Eventually, it begins to coo lightly and goes to sleep.

The young woman’s soul lets out a little sob as she gazes down on her child. A little feeling pokes at Levi. He swallows, a bit uneasy for the first time in so long, even though he’s seen his fair share of women dying from childbirth.

Levi’s not entirely sure why his sentiments happen to change today. But he doesn’t interrupt her grief this time. Instead, he deflects his stare and looks in the direction of the window leading to the outside balcony.

“At least there was one important thing I did in this lifetime. I gave birth to him,” Petra chokes out.

The reaper doesn’t respond, opting to cross his arms and give her space.

She gives a little giggle, despite her tears, as her son yawns and gives a little gurgle. Absentmindedly caressing the baby’s cheek, she comments, “Maybe in my next lifetime, I could do something more.”

He taps his index finger onto his bicep. Once. Pause. Twice.

Twisting around, she faces him partially. He glances at her from the corner of his eye and catches sight of her puffy eyes, the water trailing down her sunken cheeks and the blood on her nightdress. Her honey-auburn hair looks even more vibrant against the paleness of her skin. Her shoulders shake with barely controlled sobs, and her posture is completely disheartened.

She slowly walks to the door, familiar with the procedure. And then Levi realizes he — for once in a very, very long time — actually feels pity for a human. He’s never thought about any human’s death deeply before, until tonight. The knowledge jolts him, making him feel out of his element. A mix of emotions run through him, and he doesn’t know what to make of it.

Levi knows that humans die. He also knows the ordinary human tries to bring meaning to their life to make sure the time they have doesn’t go to waste. They will try to forge their paths, pursuing their “freedom”. However, in doing so, they climb on top of others. They develop constraints for those they step on. Certain people are expected to live like this. Certain people are expected to live like that. If those requirements aren’t followed, people are considered outcasts and shunned; at the very worst, some human will decide the status quo needs to change, proceeding to lay waste to civilization.

That’s what it means to be human. In the end, the core desires and qualities of all humans are the same. Consequently, Levi has never seen a more ironic cycle so enforced by a species that strives to break apart from the Fates.

Honestly, he isn’t surprised that Petra couldn’t live her life how she wanted to, given this endless sequence. Yet, when Levi looks at this shell of a young woman, he finds himself thinking about the gold in her eyes. How they used to twinkle when she was younger when she did whatever she wanted. And then he’s reminded of how the specks dwindled that night in the theater when she couldn’t express herself the way she wanted to.

At that recollection, he can’t help but think it’s a waste for someone who had so much light and vigor within her to die constrained to these expectations of life.

The reaper exhales faintly, unraveling his cloak. “Oi.”

When she faces him, Levi tosses it to her. Petra is able to catch it and looks at it in confusion. She sends him a questioning look and he gives a little grunt, turning away from her. “Your dress is covered in blood.”

Looking down at herself, she realizes the state of her appearance and noticeably startles in embarrassment. Briskly wrapping the outerwear around her, her face is a shade of bright red. Inwardly, he gives a little snort at her reaction.

She clears her throat and then faces him — not quite meeting his eyes — muttering her thanks.

He doesn’t plan on doing — or saying — anything else. Except, as she moves past him, Levi suddenly says lowly, “I think if you put your mind to it, you can do whatever you want in your next life.”

Twisting her head back to him in astonishment, she observes him to assess his words. Petra’s gaze makes him flush somewhat, and he silently starts to panic. However, Levi resists the urge to break eye contact and continues to hesitantly stare back, trying to convey his sincerity — even though he has no idea why he said those words to her.

Petra’s hazel eyes are wide, and her lips are parted. As the seconds tick by, he begins to feel even more restless from the way he’s being scrutinized. His spine tenses, and he can feel his fists curl up from the embarrassment trickling in. Nevertheless, finally, Levi sees the golden specks glitter and regain a shade of their familiar shine.

The young woman lets out a tiny smile, conveying her appreciation and quietly responds, “Thank you.” Levi lets out a breath that he didn’t even know he was holding and then indiscernibly slouches against the wall. She continues to the doors and then pauses.

Fully rotating to face him, her fingers fidget on the clasp of the cloak. And then a sort of bashfulness overcomes as Petra lifts her eyes to meet his again. “I don’t think I’ve ever asked you if you have a name.”

He stills. He’s caught off guard by her — again.

Yet, Levi slowly pivots his head sideways to look at her. There’s curiosity in those specks. In that instant, he inadvertently thinks about how much the gold suits her personality. An unfamiliar emotion within him starts spreading. He blinks once before responding, “The name’s Levi.”

Petra nods, her smile growing a little bit larger and more genuine. Levi imagines a little flush overcoming her cheeks, but she turns around and then proceeds on her way. The warm light envelops her before she’s gone.

Against his own will, Levi goes tentatively to the crib and looks down at the kid. Now that he’s been cleaned up a bit, there’s some light strands of honey-auburn hair bursting from the infant’s head. He has a button nose, and his cheeks are round and rosy. His lips move a bit in his sleep, causing some drool to come out of his mouth.

He cringes at the mess. But then the corners of his mouth turn up the tiniest bit unconsciously. Levi has to begrudgingly admit, it’s a cute kid.

When he’s done with the list, he goes back to Paradise where Isabel immediately pops up in his line of sight, showing him a new species of birds she created. He responds by ruffling her hair for the first time in over 1500 years, involuntarily thinking of the warm touch of a young mother who recently passed away.

And then he unintentionally wonders if the next life she gets to live will be the one she desires.

He imagines Petra lived a more “fulfilling” life in her seventh one.

She’s the youngest daughter of an innkeeper during the American Revolution. Her family is sympathetic to the revolutionaries vying for change against the Redcoats and the British Loyalists. They first allow these idealists to host secret discussions in their inn after the passing of the Townshend Act. After the Boston Massacre, people in the town are more lit aflame. More people choose to dedicate their hearts to the cause. The inn soon becomes one where information is surreptitiously exchanged, helping the revolutionaries further their movement and rebel against the Redcoats and Loyalists.

Although Petra’s parents allow her oldest brother to participate in the cause, they try to keep her away. They want her to live a happy life, get married and to not pay attention to the political events around her. However, Petra is adamant to serve. She argues and pleads with them to let her devote her heart to the Revolution. She wants to do something that will give meaning to her life and to others. She refuses, under any circumstances, to marry someone and live a life where she is not expected to do anything.

When Levi watches the final argument before her parents reluctantly give their approval, he sees Petra break out into a wide beam, showing off her dimples. The gold in those hazel eyes glitters, prompting him to be reminded of a bird in a cage spreading its wings.

For the next three years, Petra puts in her full effort. She works the front desk, keeping a kind face to any British Loyalists that stop by the inn, but making sure to eavesdrop on any conversation or updates and report them to the Patriots. Whenever the Redcoats or Loyalists become suspicious of certain people in the establishment, she dons a shining smile and directs their attentions away. She makes sure any foreign agents who stop by go under the radar and are not seen by anyone, lest information be intercepted.

Levi remembers the golden specks that dulled in her previous life. When he sees them gleam, his lips inadvertently turn up the slightest.

Nevertheless, her life comes to an end during the summer of 1775. It’s a slow day at the inn, but the Redcoats have been cracking down on the Patriots’ source of sensitive information. So, they barge in one day, tearing the inn apart for any evidence supporting their theory. The soldiers attempt to find as many people as possible that they suspect to be part of the Revolution and any sort of secret intelligence. All civilians are forced to evacuate the premises immediately.

He’s sitting at the only intact table in the dining area, waiting. The major has pushed them all to sit on their knees. She’s holding onto her sister, who shrinks underneath the gaze of the soldiers. On the other hand, Petra glares defiantly at the people who destroyed her home. The specks in her eyes burn from anger. Beside her on the floor are her two parents, her older brother and three workers. All ones who help the Revolution.

A soldier kicks her father in the stomach when he won’t answer the major’s question. He doubles over in pain, prompting his sweet daughter to crawl across the wooden floor and protect him from the onslaught. When the soldier lands a kick to Petra’s face, her father also tries to cover her with his body. Her older brother begins to intervene, furious at the treatment.

What happens is a scuffle that Levi turns away from because he knows what will happen next.

In the back of his mind, he thinks it’s strange he does so, when he’s seen worse deaths than this.

A gunshot rings in the inn, a deafening silence following swiftly. The sound echoes through the walls of the deserted place as Petra’s body falls to the floor. The dark red liquid turns almost black as it soaks through her blue dress. Her hazel eyes start to dull, but Levi notices that the fire in the gold hasn’t died out yet.

Chaos ensues. Her family is screaming. Her mother is trying to put pressure to the wound with shaking hands, while her sister tentatively crawls to the body and feels the cooling warmth of the skin. Her father is pinned down, his head underneath the boot of a soldier as he cries out Petra’s name in anguish. Her brother and the three workers also get forced completely down to the ground where their heads are butted in with the back of the rifles.

The major is furious and orders them all to be taken out. After much pleading and crying, the people on the floor are dragged out of the doors. They’re all kicking and hollering, but eventually are all dumped outside. The reaper hears orders for two soldiers to stay behind and clean up the body.

Levi takes out the list and slowly crosses off her name.

He looks up with a quirked brow when he hears a string of expletives from a shrill, angry voice.

Petra has her hands on her hips and the fire in her eyes is even more inflamed as she looks at the people outside the door. The reaper can feel the beginnings of a smirk tug his lips, but he forces it down. Snapping the book shut, he asks, “Had enough?”

Her eyes widen in surprise as they quickly turn toward his presence sitting at the table. Petra throws him an annoyed glare but then her gaze falls on something behind him. Curious, Levi turns around in his seat and sees a picture of her and her family on the wall.

A bittersweet smile makes its way onto her lips as she walks towards the wall. When Petra moves by him, he notices the smell of blood on her. But beneath that, there is a lingering scent of something sweet and floral. His dark-silver eyes watch her as she traces the outline of the frame, the beginnings of tears coming out of her eyes. She sniffles, wiping a few stray drops from her cheeks.

“I don’t regret it,” she comments lowly.

He doesn’t say anything, merely looking away. Levi crosses his legs and puts one arm over the back of the seat. The other hand idly taps his thigh.

“I remember in my last life I wanted to do more.” Petra stands up, smoothing her dress and turning around to face him. She clasps her hands in front of her and makes eye contact with him.

A genuine half-smile forms on her lips as she says, “While I was waiting in the Afterlife, I kept on thinking about how you said I could do anything if I put my mind to it. I wonder if that’s the reason I was so driven in this life to do what I desired.”

Levi swallows, an unfamiliar emotion springing up within him. He simply settles for shrugging and saying, “Who knows?”

She gives a little dry half-chuckle, before heaving a large sigh and letting her hands unfold from their position. As she looks up to the ceiling, her posture slackens and then she comments, “I guess I have to go now.”

“Unless you want to stay here and haunt the place, then yeah.”

Something which sounds close to a tiny giggle falls out of her mouth. His eyes widen a bit, and he quickly peeks at her in the corner of his vision. Petra also seems a bit amazed that she had that initial reaction, her gaze hastily fixating on something very interesting on her feet. Levi catches a light pink tinge across her cheeks.

But the moments tick by, and a small genuine smile gradually appears on her lips. “Well, until next time.” The gold in her eyes shine a little bit again before Petra steps out of the doors and disappears into a familiar orange glow.

He sits at the table for a bit, a little flutter in his chest. The sharp contours of his face unknowingly get softer and the dark circles under his eyes brighten up slightly. Levi feels the beginnings of a small smile tug at his lips. At first, he tries to force the muscles to stay where they are, but eventually, the reaper allows the shape to form.

It was strange, having that kind of conversation with a soul after she died. But, for some reason, Levi didn’t mind it at all.

Despite the expectations around her, Petra tried to set her standards by her own terms. Maybe it was easier for her this life to do so. Truthfully, Levi doesn’t know if there was any meaning to her goal. However, he contemplated if maybe humans could try to break that endless cycle — so that no one’s life would have to be stepped on because of others.

The two soldiers who were ordered to get rid of the body come back. One of them is carrying a burlap bag and both move to stuff her corpse into it.

Something lightly prickles Levi. He blinks leisurely. A fallen chair slides across the room, coming to a rest at the soldiers’ feet. The two narrow their eyes. They glance cautiously at one another, unsure of what just occurred.

It’s a slow day.

He props his elbow up vertically on the table, resting the side of his head against his hand. Then, the ground starts shaking. The chandelier in the room begins swaying. More fallen objects start moving around on the floor. The walls begin vibrating. The men lose their shock and carry expressions of fear. Their bodies inadvertently begin trembling and they reach for their guns, as if they think those weapons will protect them.

All the shaking and movement of the objects intensify, causing the soldiers to immediately scramble out of the door.

When he goes back to Paradise later, not even Four-Eyes is able to extinguish the lighter-than-usual attitude he has.

Levi is tired.

He’s been alive for about 2300 years, but the Civil War is something that is just exhausting to gaze upon.

Humans truly don’t change.

But despite his fatigue with these creatures, Levi can’t turn away from the young woman with honey-auburn hair and gold in her hazel eyes — even though he doesn’t understand why he continues watching her from afar.

In this lifetime, she’s the daughter of a tailor. Her father owns his own boutique where he sells dresses and suits for the upper-class. Petra loves to stay in the supply room, looking at the beautiful materials that are imported from abroad and the South. The shop doesn’t have many employees, but there is a Black woman that works as a seamstress in the back.

From a young age, Petra is more open-minded than a lot of people in the period. He thinks it might be due to remnants of her past life filtering through unconsciously. She listens to stories told by the seamstress about her time in the South and how she escaped in the Underground Railroad. When she hears about this woman’s life, Levi sees the gold in her eyes radiate with various emotions.

As she gets older, Petra begins to understand that even though the North has abolished slavery for some time, there is still a racial caste system in certain parts, causing her eyes to become hot with anger. When she finally discerns that there is still a difference between racism and slavery, the gold specks are lit aflame. It causes her to become idealistic and she wants change for every person in the country — regardless of race or gender.

Some things about her are still the same from her previous lives: she wants meaning in her life and to give meaning to others. Thus, when the war breaks out, Petra believes this will be a first step in setting a catalyst for change. He watches as she leaves the comfort of her home — against the wishes of her family —under the guise of serving as a volunteer nurse for the Union in 1861. But Petra dons male clothing when she gets closer to the military camp and proceeds to train as a “citizen soldier”: someone with no prior military training.

Levi’s honestly amazed to find she doesn’t get caught. However, she’s careful. Prevailing Victorian sentiments compel most soldiers to sleep clothed, bathe separately, and avoid public latrines. Heavy, ill-fitting clothing conceal her body shape. The inability to grow a beard is attributed to youth.

But the most impressive thing about her is that someone of her stature can excel at all the physical tasks expected of her. She’s petite, but her size gives her speed, flexibility and agility. She trains herself to hold the heavy rifles properly, quickly becoming one of the most adept soldiers in the battalion at marksmanship. Petra trains in hand-to-hand combat and while most people would sneer at her physique, she quickly picks up her opponent’s weaknesses and uses them to her advantage.

Any time he looks at her while she’s training or fighting, his lips quirk up a bit. Any time he sees the gold in her eyes glitter — whether from passion, anger, empathy, determination, or any other emotion — something in his chest begins to race a little faster for unknown reasons.

Yet, when he sees the carnage leftover from the battles, Levi thinks all of that she endeavored for and believes that all of it is toward a breaking a cycle that cannot be broken. Not when the core traits of all humans are essentially the same as one another. And certainly not when humans have so many flaws that outweigh any supposed perfections.

Therefore, during the Battle of Antietam in 1862, he doesn’t watch. He passes time in his residence in Paradise, sipping on a cup of tea, waiting for the fight to be over. Dok gives him an earful when he finds out, bitching about all the grim reapers that are working overtime while he’s sitting up here in his pavilion. Nevertheless, Levi proceeds to ignore him as usual.

Gradually time runs out, and he’s forced to go to the battlefield. At first, he can’t see anything due to the smoke clouding his vision. Dirt, iron, gunpowder, and the smell of decaying bodies fill his senses. He hears some explosions and shouts in the distance. Looking around, Levi feels a sudden rush of weariness overcome him. His shoulders slump a bit, and a little sting erupts between his eyes. But he quickly fixes his posture and proceeds to get to work.

As he goes through the list, the reaper hesitates the tiniest bit whenever he checks the next name. Every time it’s not Petra, Levi lets out an involuntary sigh of relief.

Somewhere in his mind, he wonders why that’s so. But he tells himself that it’s because she’s the only human he’s ever had some sort of conversation with. Nothing more.

Pushing those thoughts to a corner of his mind, Levi continues with his tasks. Soon, the moment finally comes when he sees her body sprawled across the dirt, a blood stain soaking through the fabric around her waist. Something within Levi clenches harshly. Her eyes are closed and she’s barely breathing. Grime covers her, but the lines on her face are surprisingly soft. He realizes that this is the first time she’s looked so content while on the verge of death.

Upon seeing her, Levi turns away from her corpse more quickly than he has in the past. And annoyance erupts in him: he has no idea why she put her efforts in fighting a hopeless war where humans are set to make the same mistakes in another form in the future.

He takes out the book and marks the name – but, surprisingly, he notes it’s difficult to do so.

“Hello, Levi,” a familiar voice calls out behind him.

Turning around, he sees Petra. Her uniform is disheveled, and she looks like a dwarf from its bagginess. But when he looks at her eyes, Levi finds himself unconsciously in awe of the way they still glisten even upon her death.

He gives a little nod and snaps the book shut. Staring at the field, he comments, “Quite the battle.”

Petra nods. “Probably the most casualties since the war started.” Her tone is so factual. As if she’s not as bothered as he is by all the death around them.

Levi doesn’t give a response. He rubs the space between his eyebrows, fatigued and weary.

“It must be hard for you to see people die consistently,” Petra says lowly. He catches — sympathy? — in her voice.

Distantly he wonders why she’s concerned for him when she’s the one who has it worse off. He gives a little derisive snort, still massaging the bridge of his nose. “Not from death. Meaningless death.”

She scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. “Meaningless?”

Levi meets her gaze, a bit incredulous that he has to explain this to her. “Humans fight and lay waste to others because of meaningless reasons.”

The specks in her eyes flash with rising ire. “How is wanting all people to live freely and respectfully ‘meaningless’?”

“Because no matter how much you fight and protest, humans will not change for the better.” His voice is rougher than usual.

“How are you certain of that?” Petra’s voice rises shrilly.

“Because I’ve lived over 2300 years and it’s the same cycle,” he snaps, his temper finally rising above the surface. “Humans think they need to bring about change. They may try to talk things out, but the result is the same: lives are lost. And for what?”

Levi makes a motion around them. Death, gloom and despair permeate the air. Rapid gunfire sounds in the distance. Corpses are laid out everywhere, mutilated or disfigured. This is not what he imagines a world where people live “freely” or “respectfully” to mean. A dry chuckle escapes his mouth. He really doesn’t understand why Erwin said that there’s more to humans than they would expect. “The same thing to happen again shortly after. Everything that you endeavor towards is predictable and meaningless.”

“But it’s not though!” Her fists are clenched. Anger contorts her features. Petra’s eyes narrow at him.

He raises an eyebrow.

“Yes. Humans can be terrible. I’ve lived and died during some times in history where people were absolutely vile towards one another.”

She steps forward to Levi and states, “But we can change.” The gold in her eyes shimmer passionately.

Nevertheless, Levi is unconvinced and blinks impassively.

“When we understand that our thoughts impact the way we live, we eventually begin to consider how we impact others. When we realize that we continue to make those same mistakes, we begin to consider the consequences. Eventually, we realize we can’t stay in the same place forever and we begin to question how to move forward.”

He imagines his expression is still cold upon noticing that her tone gains a hint of desperation. “When we recognize the necessity for change, we gain the will and courage to choose to break the cycle.”

Petra glares at him, determined. She takes another few steps toward him so he can catch how brightly her eyes burn with so many emotions. “I believe that more and more people will be willing to put in the effort to take the time to understand one another – so that no lives need to be lost because of someone else.”

Glimmers of hope, belief, resolution and persistence are displayed on her face as she asserts, “So I’m sure we can eventually change. It may take time, but I know we can.”

Levi still doesn’t believe it. Not based on everything he’s seen in history. Not based on everything he knows about humans. So, he settles for simply responding dryly, “Who knows?”

The young woman’s soul purses her lips and makes an incensed sound. “Well, in my next life, I’ll prove you wrong.”

He dismisses her statement with a cursory glance. Making a head motion to the left, he simply says, “Maybe. But get moving.”

Petra gives a scoff and walks forward. A few seconds pass before he realizes that she’s quieter than he’d expect after their discussion. Peeking at her from the corner of his vision, Levi is a bit taken aback. She refuses to look at him and her features are hard. Her arms are crossed firmly over her chest and her stance is rigid. When he sees how genuinely upset she is, something he imagines akin to guilt spikes within him.

It’s not like he’s wrong. Humans aren’t likely to change. If anything, shit will get worse from here.

But images that he’s seen of Petra in this period come to mind. Specifically, he thinks about the way she treated those around her in this life based on their actions and words, regardless of who they were. He thinks about her time as young girl, listening to the seamstress’s stories from her time in the South. As Petra grew older, she wanted to hear everything, even when the seamstress said some of those experiences weren’t fit for a child’s ears. But she insisted, saying that to aid others in having a voice, she needed to understand what they went through.

And he registers that while humans may not be able to break the cycle, Petra is trying to. He doesn’t know if the effort will go anywhere meaningful. Levi does understand, however, that she’s attempting to make an impact so more people will be willing to change. Therefore, he gives a little sigh before calling out, “Oi, wait.”

She turns around, giving him a mildly curious glance. The gold specks in her eyes are still shining in irritation from their earlier discussion. Swallowing a bit unevenly, Levi takes out his handkerchief from his suit jacket and throws it at her. Petra looks a bit questioningly down at it, while he simply grumbles, “Wipe your face. You look like hell.”

Those hazel eyes widen in surprise as she snaps her head to meet his dark-silver gaze. Petra assesses him, causing his shoulders to inadvertently stiffen in anticipation. As the seconds go by, her appearance doesn’t show her inner feelings like Levi thought it would. Petra doesn’t seem like she completely forgives him. He bristles a little with impatience and tension. His fingers twitch swiftly, planning on taking back the fabric before the awkwardness gets even worse.

After what feels like forever, Petra finally lets out a little smile and responds faintly, “Thank you.”

The reaper gives a little grunt, the pressure alleviated from his posture. Levi turns his head away from her, but he’s able to catch sight of Petra daintily wiping her cheeks and face. He imagines there’s a flicker of something in her appearance that makes him feel unexpectedly pleased. Then, her eyes twinkle the slightest when she asserts a bit cheekily, “You know, you could’ve just apologized, and it would’ve had the same effect.”

Levi scoffs. “Tch. Who says I wanted to apologize?”

“I feel like I can now read you, despite the constant blank stares and scowls.”

His mouth falls slightly agape before he recovers and dons his infamous scowl, to which she lets out a little giggle. Despite his exasperation, he can’t deny that the sound is pleasant to his ears. Involuntarily, he finds himself letting out the tiniest smile at her reaction.

Petra doesn’t give him back the handkerchief, instead opting to tuck it into the pockets of her breeches. He raises an eyebrow, and she sheepishly looks down at her boots, a light pink dusting her cheekbones. “Maybe it’ll be a good luck charm in the next life.”

Her voice is gentle, and it makes something skip and stutter inside his chest. Levi merely shrugs, feigning disinterest. “Tch. As if I’d want your dirty germs over that.”

She cocks her head to the side, the beginnings of a smile threatening to show on her face. “A grim reaper, yet you’re afraid of germs?”

“Well. If you’ve seen as much death from disease as I have, you tend to be wary of things like that.”

“You’re not going to die from disease though.”

“Doesn’t mean I like being around it.”

Petra giggles delicately again, and the sound becomes more and more like music. She turns around, and he’s strangely disappointed that their time is coming to an end. But then, she twists her head over her shoulder and sends him a small, warmer smile while saying, “Until next time, Levi.”

She vanishes in a warm orange envelope of light. A very subtle floral scent lingers in the air after she’s gone, prompting him to sigh. But a soft smile makes its way across his face, and he feels lighter than when he first came to collect her soul.

Maybe she will prove him wrong in the next life.

Even Kenny is astonished by what happens in World War II — and his uncle embodies war in his immortal form.

In her ninth life, she’s a Jew who originally lived in Germany. When he looks down at her in her childhood, the corners of his lips turn up whenever she beams at someone, her eyes glittering and her dimples showing. But he finds that the smile dims throughout the years as views grow more radical and more racist.

When people begin to look at her strangely, the young girl thinks it’s because of her vibrant hair. And then as she grows older, Petra discovers that it’s because they think there’s something wrong with her.

In 1933, her family immediately flees to the Netherlands when Hitler becomes Chancellor of Germany. They restart their lives there. Money is tight but they’re able to get by for the next seven years. Petra studies hard at her new school. She tries to get acquainted with the new language. She makes new friends, ones who don’t judge her for her background. She tries to make the best of the situation, trying to put light into her smile and eyes again. She smiles at others, in hopes of escaping the tension and fear in the air.

In hopes that the whispers of the impending doom are simply a nightmare that she’ll wake up from.

When the Nazi’s take over the country in 1940, the Ral’s try to escape, but to no avail. The Reich has a foothold in almost every nearby country and the U.S. embassy in Rotterdam has been closed. The U.K. has been taking limited refugees, and their Visa applications have not yet been approved.

For the next two years, the family lives in outcast. Mandatory regulation and segregation follow under the control of the Reich. Every person designated as a Jew in German-held territory is marked by a star armband, making them open targets. They’re forbidden from visiting public places and fired from government positions. They’re robbed of all their possessions. Some are beat, heavily injured or killed while walking on the streets. They’re looked at like they’re nothing. Like they shouldn’t have been born.

Levi sees no more light in her eyes or smile. He sees the treatment she endures and then can’t help but think Petra’s remarks about humans from her last life were completely and utterly wrong.

Despite his beliefs about humans, Levi unintentionally clenches his fists and grits his teeth whenever he glances at Earth from Paradise. It becomes harder and harder for him to look at the death spreading around the world. It’s more and more difficult for him to turn a blind eye to the events down below. Gradually, it becomes more and more challenging for him to not feel what humans are going through. Something continues to poke and prod at him, making his chest constrict in discomfort and forcing him to remember all the prior discrimination certain groups have faced in history.

And when he sees the beginnings of the “purification” the Nazi’s talk about, Levi’s temper rises; he has to force himself to remain emotionally distanced from these events because his immediate thought goes to Petra. Every time he gets the list for the day, he clutches the paper as if he were about to rip it. It becomes harder and harder to collect souls, knowing that her name could appear any moment — all because she was born into this world in this lifetime.

But he knows with startling vehemence that while humans have many problems, there is nothing wrong with Petra.

However, the sinking realization that the end is near hits him when she’s 23 years old. Her family is sent to a concentration camp in Auschwitz. She’s separated from her father and brother and put into a section with her mother and sister. But then they’re pushed into different rooms, and she can’t find them as the days pass. She’s forced to do labor but discovers very quickly they’re forced to work under conditions that would intentionally lead to illness, injury, and death.

When Levi sees her dig a ditch for the corpses of female prisoners, he’s furious to the point where all the immortals (aside from Kenny) are more cautious of him than ever. Even Hange decides to give him space.

As he observes the scene, breathing heavily out of his nose, Levi wonders why no one on the other side of the war has noticed what is happening to these people. But with a jolt, the reaper realizes that even humans don’t want to believe that their own kind would do unspeakable acts of evil towards other people.

In that instant, the thought of doing the impossible arises in his mind, but he quickly pushes that out because he’s not supposed to intervene.

He can’t. But the conflict continues rising in hot flashes, causing something within him to tear. After destroying his room as an outlet for his anger, Levi buries his head in his hands and wonders why he should even care so much about these humans when he’s never done so in the past.

Yet, it doesn’t stop him from hoping that he won’t see her name in his book.

And then not a week into her stay, she’s called forward by an officer who tells her she’s being transferred to another camp with a mass crowd of women. They’re directed to an empty barrack where they’re forced to undress before being led into another room to undergo disinfection.

But as the doors lock on them, Petra’s eyes bulge as she takes in a putrid scent and then she realizes the worst has come.

Levi can’t watch any of it. He waits outside of the room, head down and jaw clenched. His arms are crossed against his chest, the fingers almost white from the sheer strength of pressing down on his biceps. Forcing himself to take deep breaths, Levi hears the coughs for air, the pleas for help and the crying for their loved ones. Restraining the urge to cover his ears, he simply stands there and screws his eyes shut.

Nevertheless, the reaper sees red even with his closed vision. All he wants is to raze this camp to the ground, leaving nothing but ashes and dust in his path. For the first time, Levi wants to take his knives and slice every one of those soldier’s necks, their blood splattering the walls and grounds. He wants to force those scientists to suffer from their own experiments and hear their pleas for help as life drains out of them. He wants these people to pay for what they did to other humans.

To her.

But he does none of those things, clenching his fists so hard that blood drips from his palms. Levi can’t feel the pain and the wounds end up healing within a few seconds, but he continuously tries to make himself feel something to take his mind off what he needs to do. He hunches over a bit against the wall, grinding his teeth harshly.

Upon sensing that the life inside that room is beginning to dwindle, he takes out the book and crosses off each name with surprisingly steady hands, given his prior turmoil. But he doesn’t enter the confinements of that room. Levi doesn’t think he can bear to look at any soul as they cross into the Afterlife; instead, he hopes that they’ll find peace in their next life after the atrocities they suffered in this one.

As he gets to the last name on the list though, he pauses after crossing it off. Gripping the pen more tightly than he needs to, Levi presses down on the page so hard that it rips. The black ink begins to spread through the page, creating a tiny blob. Making his decision, he enters the room and sees Petra’s soul curled up on the floor, her knees pressed to her chest.

Levi’s chest squeezes when looking at her. His dress shoes echo in the room as he steps forward to her, trying to not glance at the corpses sprawled out. He kneels to the floor, taking off his trench coat and tentatively wrapping it around her body. Catching sight of her eyes, Levi inwardly laments at how dead they look right now. The paleness of her face stands in contrast to the dark circles underneath her once-vibrant eyes. Her cheeks are sunken. Her hair has lost its sheen and looks limp. She looks like a husk of who she once was.

In that instant, Levi feels so much rage. He forces his hands to not tremble from anger as he slowly adjusts her into a sitting position. She lifts her hooded eyes to meet his silver ones. Her bottom trembles as she asks, “Was I wrong before?”

Once he thought so. But now as Levi looks at her, he doesn’t even hesitate when he replies, “No. You weren’t.”

Tears start to form in her eyes. “But — "

“These people weren’t humans,” Levi interrupts with a fierce tone. “When real humans see this, they will mark this down in history. They’ll make sure that people don’t forget these events. That this is what happens when humans don’t try to change. When you blindly let your own judgements and thoughts get in the way of someone else’s life.”

For the first time, Levi believes in this. “It may take time. But maybe humans can change.”

Drops start falling down her hollow cheeks. He reaches his hands up to brush the tears away. Her features contort from misery. Her once youthful (and beautiful) face now looks aged beyond her years. Now that he’s this close to her, he realizes how malnourished and petite her body is. Levi can feel the bones from her shoulders jutting out, even through the fabric of his coat. Petra start shaking and he cautiously rubs her back, hoping that the action would placate her.

“If this is a nightmare, then please wake me up,” she whispers.

He doesn’t say anything at first. And then he simply replies in a low voice, “I wish I could.”

“There’s always something wrong, no matter what life I live.” Petra looks haunted and something in Levi’s chest sinks to his stomach.

“I shouldn’t have been born in this life. Maybe in any lifetime,” she whispers, her thin bony knees pressing impossibly closer against her frail body.

Levi quickly snaps his head from side to side. The mere thought that she was a mistake stabs at him and makes him sick. With no doubt in his mind, he rapidly asserts, “No. You were born into this world and that makes you special. Nothing is wrong with you.”

You’re perfect.

It’s like the dam breaks for her. A wail comes out of her throat, and she falls lightly into his chest. He’s a bit shocked at first; however, Levi finds the movements to comfort her are very natural. Tears get onto his black-collared shirt, and she’s covered in dirt and grime. But, for once, Levi doesn’t care about being clean. He rubs her back and strokes her hair, his fingers running through the locks. He closes his eyes and breathes in her subtle sweet floral scent that still remains even after the stench of death. It floods his senses and reminds him of that young woman who chose to follow what she wanted to do, dying in the Revolution and the Civil War.

Suddenly, Levi despises himself so much. Part of him thinks this loathing is illogical because he wasn’t supposed to intervene. However, part of him also understands why he had the urge to wreak havoc across this place. Levi comprehends the reason why it became more difficult to look down on Earth when he knew Petra was suffering. He registers why his chest has been feeling like ripping apart with so much anger and sadness lately.

And despite all those feelings, he just stood there, waiting for Fate to determine the course. Fury rises again to the surface, along with some unfamiliar emotions. He clamps his jaw — his usual fine features contorting harshly — mentally telling himself to calm down.

They stay in that position for a few moments before he delicately pulls her to her feet. He puts his arm cautiously around her shoulder, walking her slowly to the door. As they move, Levi tries to not take note of the way her bare feet are cut and bruised. He knows she can’t feel the pain anymore but the wrath in him continues to burn. Rotating her shoulders to him, Levi looks at her, noting that she refuses to make eye contact with him. Softly, he says, “You have to go now, all right?”

Petra sniffles and nods. He reluctantly releases her arms. She grabs the lapels of his coat, tightening it around herself. Levi forces his gaze to not linger on the blisters that cover her hands. “Thank you,” her voice quiet and weak.

Her eyes are still directed at her feet, and he desperately wants the light to return to them. Without even thinking about it, he takes out his handkerchief to carefully wipe the tears that still linger on her face. Petra lets him do so, as still as a broken porcelain doll. Then, he reaches out to gingerly grab her hand and presses the fabric into her palm.

“It’s nothing,” he says in a gentle voice. Levi uses his hand to close her fingers over the material. Upon that action, she finally looks up at him, the shine in her eyes still nonexistent. However, Petra gives him the tiniest upturn of her lips. She lightly grips the handkerchief before turning sluggishly to vanish through the doors.

After Petra leaves, he also walks out the doors, his shoulders sagging and his posture disheartened. Weariness overcomes him from the events, provoking him to rub the space between his brows. He hears some chatter sound to his left. Rotating his body, Levi sees a group of scientists engaged in intense discussion in the middle of the hallway, making hand gestures and motioning at papers.

Immediately, the fatigue is replaced with raw fury and indignation. Levi deliberately makes his way toward them. A tiny, sane part of his mind tells him that he shouldn’t interfere. He needs to maintain his presence. He’s never done so before, and he still shouldn’t — even after everything he’s seen.

This action would go against everything that he is.

But when Levi looks at their hardened eyes, he thinks about the vacant gold in Petra’s. And he doesn’t think that he can forgive himself if he were to let that go again.

So, he reaches out, caressing their throats. On their end, the three feel a sensation like a light wind brushing against the skin.

He tucks his hands into his pockets and then walks past them. A few seconds go by before Levi hears harsh gasping. Loud thuds sound in the hallway when their bodies fall unceremoniously to the floor. The distant flutter of papers scattering echoes in the air. He hears their chokes and can imagine their faces turning paler and paler with each breath they try to take.

Dok will blow his shit later.

But Levi honestly can’t bring himself to care.

She gets reincarnated quickly. He’s grateful; Levi wants to think that the Fates took pity on the young woman from her previous life.

In the early stage of her life, Petra is happy. She’s the middle child of three this time and she’s doted on by her family. Levi sees her playing by herself or with friends, full of energy and vigor as she runs around in the dirt and grass in a yellow dress. He smirks slightly while watching her punch the neighbor’s boy when he called her a “tiny shrimp”, knocking him to the ground. He lets out a small, atypical smile when he sees the gold light in her eyes glisten as she goes up to every person with an adorable beam, displaying her dimples.

Whenever Levi pays attention to the young girl, he finds himself hoping that she’ll live a long, happy life. He hopes that no hurt will come to her and that she’ll achieve whatever she wants to do.

Time flashes to 1965 and her body becomes weaker. She gets sick more easily. Her breaths come out shorter and weaker. No more is she able to run around, laughing and giggling with her friends. She spends more time in bed than in school, sometimes unable to draw the energy to do anything other than sleep. Her skin loses its healthy flush, instead becoming paler and hollower as she’s confined in the house more than ever.

Petra is diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 17. The illness is the most common and dreaded of all the cancers affecting youth, feared because it’s invariably and usually rapidly fatal.

And it’s like a dark cloud falls over Levi. No one tries to approach him. Even Kenny seems to recognize his nephew is not to be prodded under any circumstance.

He can’t watch as she undergoes the painful treatment. He can’t watch as she lies on that hospital bed, coughing and burning up with fever. Levi can’t bear to look when he knows that Petra — the sweet child — will try to smile at her family and maintain the glitter in her eyes, even when she knows that her days are dwindling.

But the time comes to collect her soul. The reaper has another internal battle like the one he wrestled with when Petra was sent to Auschwitz. Part of him tells him he needs to do it. And then another part of him feels like demolishing everything to the ground when he sees her name in the book.

He doesn’t rush to get to the hospital. Levi wants to delay the inevitable as much as possible. Eventually, though, he finds himself standing in the corner by the window. It’s almost midnight. A little overhead light casts dark shadows within the room. His gaze burns a hole into the floor. He leans against the wall for a long time, simply listening to the soft beeping of the heart monitor.

Taking a deep breath, Levi finally gains the courage to glimpse at the wispy teenager on the hospital bed. Everything tilts upside down. She’s sleeping on the bed, her face almost peaceful as her time is nearing the end. Her honey-auburn hair gives off a little sheen in the dark, a stark contrast to her paling skin. Even from the distance, he can tell there are dark circles under her lids.

She doesn’t look like the young woman he’s grown to know. In that instant, something within the reaper cracks, a swirl of emotions welling up within him. Traces of the feelings leak onto his usual stoic expression. No one is there to witness it, but Levi is unable to move from his current position.

The rise and fall of her chest slow down.

He thinks back to the first time he collected her soul. And the second. And the third. Even in death, she had so many emotions — probably more than any other soul he’s ever met. But the most prominent ones weren’t denial, confusion, anger or despair at her current situation. Her primary concern was her goodbyes to family and seeing them one last time.

The number on the monitor drops. The beeping grows louder and more urgent.

Levi thinks about the Fourth Crusades when she asked him if humans could change, and he immediately responded “no”. And then he thinks about the way she protected those two boys at the expense of her own life, surprising him. Back then, he thought humans were predictable. He thought they all had the same core traits that defined what they did for themselves and to others. Yet, Petra’s actions were something he didn’t understand.

But now he does. It’s who she is at her core — what her soul is beneath every life she’s lived. Petra is someone who cares about others and chooses to fight for those weaker than her.

He remembers her impassioned speech during the Civil War. Levi didn’t believe in it but acknowledged that maybe there would be some that could recognize mankind’s mistakes. Maybe there would be those willing to attempt to break the never-ending cycle. Then, he’s reminded of her previous life and understands that, while he still has doubts, maybe humans can learn from past events and change.

The monitor flatlines. The doctor and nurses rush into the room not a moment later, trying to revive Petra. But no matter what they try, no technique works. A sudden look of weariness overcomes the health workers as they realize the end has come.

Levi grits his teeth. The reaper tucks his hands into the pocket of his jacket and forces himself to walk to her bedside. It hurts when he looks at this shell of what should be a vibrant, beautiful young girl. But then, the reaper pauses upon seeing something in her hand.

It’s the handkerchief that he gave her in Germany. The Fates allowed it to stay with her.

Maybe it’ll be like a good luck charm in the next life.

He thinks back to that time in Antietam. Petra was wrong. It didn’t do anything for her. Feeling an invisible spike stab at him, he registers that in every life she’s lived, it somehow always ends in tragedy. She’s never lived a long happy life, dying peacefully and without suffering.

But in that instant, Levi remembers the slight twinkle in her eyes when she said those words. How bashful she looked. How lovely she was, even when covered in dirt and blood. How hopeful she was for whatever the Fates laid out for her, despite everything that she went through.

Levi remembers the dull eyes Petra had in the prior life and how he was desperate to see them glimmer again. In that moment, he knows he wants to see those eyes light up with fire and passion toward whatever goal she has.

He doesn’t know if there’s more to humans than meets the eye. But he knows with certainty that Petra is special.

So, Levi makes his decision to not take out his book and perform the necessary deed to collect her soul. Instead, the reaper reaches one hand out tentatively to hold her hand for a moment. The skin underneath is cool to his touch. He lowers his upper body until his lips almost brush the back of it.

And then he breathes onto it, his breath like ice against the skin.

Levi straightens himself and retracts his hand, swallowing a bit unsteadily. He turns around to walk out of the room while the doctors and nurses follow the necessary protocols to record the time of death and clean up.

However, the moment he steps out the doors, the monitor starts beeping rapidly again.

She’s wearing some sort of tunic while looking over a destroyed temple. She’s looking to the sky from her window in a beautiful blue dress, hoping that she could escape the confinements of the mansion. She’s on the battlefield, a gun in her hands as she shoots down an enemy soldier. She’s crying on the floor, bruises covering her bare body as her breaths come out shorter and shorter.

Petra keeps on seeing visions of herself in many different settings and eras. Sometimes she’s content. Sometimes she feels agony beyond words or descriptions. Other times, she feels a sense of purpose and drive like something she’s never experienced before.

But in all those images, there is a man dressed in black with a blank stare and a perpetual scowl.

When she sees him, she feels a mix of emotions: grief, irritation, and — eventually — a strange sort of comfort. He’s short with unconventionally handsome and delicate features. As each vision passes, she thinks his dark-silver eyes get softer and lighter. The lines on his face get looser and looser, giving him more of a youthful look. Eventually, he smiles the tiniest bit and Petra doesn’t think she’s seen anything more beautiful.

Suddenly, she feels a smooth material press into her hand. She looks down at the fabric and then glances up to see the man staring at her with a mix of emotions filtering through his seemingly blank expression. Her heart flutters, and she thinks she begins blushing. The gold in her eyes unknowingly twinkle and she tries to restrain a little grin.

But then the slight giddiness is replaced quickly with fear when she feels like she’s falling rapidly. Misery and anguish overcome her senses. Her throat chokes up, making it harder to breathe. Everything feels empty. She’s caught in some sort of whirlwind of angst and despair. She feels worthless. She feels degraded. She feels like nothing.

She is nothing.

Through the storm, however, she remembers the handkerchief in her hand. Gripping it tighter, it provides some sort of calming effect. She catches a new sensation arising, but she can’t discern what it is. She focuses on the feeling, and the gloom around her fades. Instead, she finds herself staring back at those dark-silver eyes.

In that moment, she finally understands. Something is ignited in her, and a rush of sentiments causes everything to go white.

Petra tries to open her eyes. It’s hard to do so at first. Her vision is immediately hit by a yellow light, causing her instinctively to shut them. As the muscles flutter against the lids gingerly, her vision becomes clearer and clearer. She sees the sterile-white ceiling of the hospital room. A distant beeping sounds to her left. Her body aches. Every limb feels like it was disconnected and then joined again to her body. She looks down at her arms and sees a bunch of IV cords connected to them.

Her mother is nodding off in a seat by her bed. Upon noticing that Petra is awake though, she immediately gains clarity and scrambles to hold the girl’s hand, kissing her fingers. Her mother gives a little laugh mixed with a sob, reaching out to stroke Petra’s hair.

Dimly, she registers someone else touching her hand while she was asleep last night. And, for some reason, every time she blinks, she keeps on seeing those lovely dark-silver eyes. But something about them unconsciously causes her heart to constrict. It begins to make breathing harder.

“Mama?” Her voice is hoarse and croaky. She feels disoriented. Her head is spinning as she sits up in the bed. Petra feels like she’s in some sort of dream that she hasn’t woken up from. Everything feels real, but at the same time, it doesn’t.

The older woman sobs in response, reaching out to caress her daughter’s cheek now. “Your heart stopped last night. The doctors say it’s a miracle that you’re alive.”

To Petra’s surprise, her mother reaches out to wipe away the tears that are falling down her cheeks. But the young girl didn’t even realize she was crying.

She doesn’t even know why she was crying in the first place.

Petra tentatively brings up her hand to brush away the drops dripping down her face. Even her actions feel disassociated from her mind. Suddenly, those eyes pop up again in her vision. With a jolt, she understands that they’re the reason behind her sadness.

Nevertheless, behind that pain, there is some sort of unfamiliar emotion, prompting her to cry even more.

Dok — to no one’s shock — flips his shit when Levi gets back to Paradise. He drags the dark-haired reaper with him to talk to Erwin in the middle of the Paradise throne room. With avid hand motions, he basically begs their king to punish Levi, whining about how this is the second occasion he interfered with human lives.

Levi tunes out him out. If he bought Petra more time to live, then he truly doesn’t give a shit about Dok — not that he ever did in the first place.

Erwin takes everything in stride. He quirks an eyebrow at the reaper the entire time, a little tilt appearing on his lips. Levi maintains an emotionless appearance. Finally, Erwin negotiates and says that she’ll have a little more time to live, but her soul will be collected eventually.

Upon hearing that, Levi lets out an inaudible sigh of relief. However, there’s a stray thought in his mind that is hesitant to trust that her new life won’t end in tragedy like her previous ones. But he quickly pushes that away because what matters is that she’s alive and well.

Time passes, and the reaper continues watching Petra grow. She receives treatment after the night of her “death”, fully recovering within a year. Soon, she goes off to university, wanting to study medicine. It’s not common for a woman to do so at the turn of the decade, but Petra won’t take no for an answer. She perseveres in her studies, enduring the gender discrimination until 1972 when Title IX is passed.

Petra wants to study leukemia prevention. She wants to help children and teenagers, giving them second chances with their lives — like how the young woman survived in her teenage years. She wants to give hope and meaning to them, because she remembers the period when she had none. Petra doesn’t want people to give up, because she knows she can create an option for their lives to continue.

When Levi catches the gold specks glow as she forges her path to become a scientist and doctor, he lets out the smallest smile to himself. His dark-silver eyes unknowingly soften and brighten. Something blooms within him as he watches Petra reach for her goals. In those moments, he knows with certainty that if he had to do it over again, he’d still want her to live.

But he feels his chest rip from the inside when he sees her die in a car accident when she’s 26 years old, her spine broken upon impact. A swirl of emotions causes him to destroy the landscape outside his residence. While he stands there in the aftermath, he realizes that this is the first time he’s felt such grief.

For once, her name is not on his list. Later, he makes an obscene hand gesture to Dok when he tells Levi to stay away from her soul. From this life and onwards, Petra’s soul will be some other reaper’s job to collect.

He looks down to the Afterlife, catching a glimpse of her passing through the gates. With a strain in his chest, Levi drinks delicately from his cup of tea on the outside patio.

Distantly, he realizes how human he’s becoming now. He knows why he’s been watching her from far above now. He knows why his chest feels like it’s been tightening every time he had to collect her soul from her past few lives. He understands why he longs to see the gold in her eyes sparkle to the point he defied the Fates to give her another life.

And Levi can’t help but be bitter over the fact that all these emotions have made him too sentimental. He’s annoyed that he now cares too much about a soul, when human lives have never mattered to him before. Impatience pokes at him when he realizes how much effort goes into deciphering feelings and emotions. He feels ire rise to the surface when he thinks about how deeply he’s been thinking about death lately, influencing him to act contrary to how he should. To act contrary to what he is.

But as quickly as those thoughts come, guilt immediately floods in because he doesn’t regret what he did. As long as Petra was happy in the extra time he gave her, then it was worth it.

He sets his cup down on the saucer absentmindedly. A sting forms between his eyes, causing him to rub the space between his brows. And then a stronger ache arises in his chest, causing him to shift a bit restlessly on his seat.

I want her to be happy.

And Levi is astonished to find that he genuinely means it. Even if he’s not part of that happy life, he wants her to live. Even if he can only watch her from Paradise for the rest of time, all Levi wants for Petra is for her to live completely and peacefully.

“Yo, Levi,” a rough voice says behind him.

He doesn’t even hesitate when he turns around and throws a knife hidden in his jacket towards the sound.

Kenny expects it, however, and dodges it easily. He guffaws harshly. “Is that any way to greet your uncle?” he questions, sneering lopsidedly.

Tch. Levi turns back to his tea and continues sipping on it.

Kenny plops down on the seat next to him, putting his feet up on the table. Levi immediately kicks his legs off. His uncle gives a little snicker, ignoring the glare his nephew shoots him.

“Your mother told me to talk to you,” Kenny comments, settling for crossing his legs.

Levi doesn’t say anything for a moment. “She worries too much,” he finally responds, putting down his cup.

His uncle gives an exaggerated sigh. “That she does,” Kenny agrees, reclining back in his seat.

“Then why did you come?” Levi’s dark-silver stare bores into that of his uncle’s.

A sly look emerges on Kenny’s face. Levi’s eyes narrow. This prick has never given him one good piece of advice. He’s not prime uncle material, despite Kuchel’s pleas for them to get along. And Levi swears if that is the reason why…

The immortal figure of war leans forward to his nephew, asking brazenly, “Do you have the hots for that human?”

Not even fazed, Kenny bursts out hooting when he gets a knife to the eye. Annoyance and rage overcome Levi, prompting him to scowl darkly. With a growl, he kicks the scum out of the seat. Said immortal continues roaring with glee, even as he falls to the floor.

“That’s all I needed to know,” Kenny gasps between bouts of laughter. Blood pours down half his face. His uncle takes out the knife from his eye socket, a disgusting sound echoing in the pavilion. More blood splatters onto the ground and Levi twitches.

Kenny plays with the knife in his hands before shooting it towards Levi, who has no problem catching it. His fingers are covered in blood, causing Levi’s lip to curl before taking out a handkerchief and wiping the object and his hands.

“So… what’cha going to do about it?” his uncle questions, sounding like he’s trying to not laugh.

The reaper wants to tell Kenny to shove it up his ass. But Levi has to begrudgingly admit, even though he hates rising to the occasion with his uncle, he also doesn’t like backing down from it. The man will antagonize and prod him in various ways and Levi would eventually be unable to control his temper, jabbing back at the general of Paradise (much to Kenny’s glee).

What’s different this time is that Petra is too special for him to act rashly. He wants her to be happy. He wants her to do what she’s passionate about and succeed in accomplishing whatever goal she’s made for her life. A sharp pang shoots through him, knowing in the future, he can only watch over her. They couldn’t be together, in any normal sense.

However, Levi couldn’t deny that it also stung to think about not seeing her again. Clenching his teeth, he knows he could be content gazing at her from Paradise for a little bit, but he knew that the pain would only worsen as time passed. If he ended whatever he felt for her now, maybe he would get over these emotions. Maybe it would be better that way.

But then an image of her smile pops up in his mind, bringing him a kind of contentment that he never experienced before. Then, he reminisces about the way her lovely dimples appear on her face. And then he sees the way those gold specks in her eyes expressed whatever emotion she was feeling so vividly, making something in his chest race.

It hurts to see her, and it also hurts to not see her. Yet, with clarity, he grasps how much he wants to see those eyes again up close.

Because as much as he doesn’t like the more humane aspects of his feelings towards Petra, he does know that there is a sensation that makes him feel more content than he’s been for a long time.

Levi honestly can’t believe that Kenny, of all beings, is the reason why he decides to stand up from his seat. He throws him a dirty look before walking away. “Clean up this mess before you leave,” he snaps.

Kenny sits up, still chortling. His eye isn’t completely healed yet, but he wipes his cheek with his hand, more blood dripping onto the deck. The unharmed one he has watches Levi’s back, and his features grow into another tilted sneer. “You’re not going to thank me for helping you get off your midget ass?”

Levi aims another knife at his uncle’s head without looking. Barely suppressing another snarl, he hears Kenny’s cackles even after leaving the premises of his home.

He slips into the Afterlife and finds her waiting on a hill before she must be reincarnated. Time in this realm runs differently than on Earth, but currently, a sunset lights up the horizon. She’s sitting down, her knees tucked into her chest. Her back is to him, so he sees the hunched position of her shoulders. Petra seems like she’s deep in thought. The tint of the sunset bounces off her hair, giving her a hazy, angelic glow.

He just stands there, taking her in while she’s unaware of the figure behind her. Levi thinks about walking closer to her, but his feet are frozen. He swallows, a bit of anxiety welling within him. Half of his mind wants to cuss violently at falling into Kenny’s trap; the other half scrambles to come up with something to say. Therefore, he finally chooses to blurt out, “You excited for your next life?”

The reaper cringes at his tact.

“Levi?” Petra asks, turning around in surprise. Her hazel eyes meet his dark-silver ones.

His throat catches. Every time they’ve been within proximity of one another, her face and body are disfigured to some extent. But now that her soul is here in the Afterlife, Petra looks even more beautiful than the times he’s looked down on Earth. Her cheeks are full and a healthy color. The gold in her eyes begins to gleam as they stare at one another. A genuine smile spreads on her face. Petra stands up, the wind blowing her hair slightly and ruffling the hem of her pink dress around her bare feet.

“How are you?” she asks softly, folding her hands in front of her.

Levi shrugs. “Every day is essentially the same.”

Silence falls over them. Taking a step closer to him, Petra says quietly, “I heard one of the reapers — I think his name was Dok? — mention what you did when I was 17.”

Her eyes shine with unshed tears. The gold in them continues glittering, causing something to pound against his rib cage. Levi looks away from her and tries to brush it off, giving a grunt in response.

“Dok seems to dislike you.”

“Tch. The feeling’s mutual.”

She giggles delicately, causing something to flutter within his stomach. He missed that noise.

They don’t say anything for a moment. The wind rustles the grass. Petra bites the inside of her cheek before asking in a faint tone, “Why?”

Levi stills. He slowly brings his dark-silver eyes to meet hers. She continues watching him with a little smile, but the emotion within her eyes is indiscernible.

The reaper quickly shifts his gaze away again. Fidgeting his hands, he opts to tuck them into his trousers. Levi restrains the urge to kick his feet into the ground like some sort of shy twat. His throat closes momentarily before he confesses quietly, “I wanted you to live a long life.”

Petra is startled. But then those golden specks shimmer even more as she walks over to him and gives him a light hug. Levi stiffens from the action. He’s not sure how to respond and just hangs his arms by his side, dumbstruck.

“Thank you,” she whispers against his shoulder. Petra gingerly tightens her hold around his body. Her statement astonishes him. However, it also causes a pleasant feeling to circulate. Levi relaxes against her, breathing her floral scent. As she burrows herself into the crook of his neck, he also finds it natural to wrap his arms loosely around her waist. While he tentatively feels the flesh underneath his fingers, he unconsciously lets out a tiny sigh of relief at how healthy and fit she seems. Levi recalls the last time he held her was in Auschwitz, her body malnourished and weak.

“I saw you in my dreams when I woke up after that night,” Petra says quietly. “I didn’t remember who you were, but I couldn’t stop dreaming about your eyes since.”

She pulls back slightly, gazing at him thoughtfully. Bringing her hands up to his face, her fingers smoothly outline the high cheekbones, the eyelids, and the lines around his mouth. “My heart ached every time and I wanted to forget them.”

A beam tenderly stretches across her face, showing the dimples around her mouth. “But why do I feel so happy now that I see your eyes?”

In that instant, Levi wonders if this feeling is what humans strive for when wanting to live a fulfilling life. He brings his own hands to her cheeks, caressing them lightly. The action prompts her eyes to flutter and close. From this distance, he takes in the light freckles scattered here-and-there on her skin. Her full eyelashes brush against her lids, and a little pink tinge is spreading on her face.

“I meant what I said the last time I spoke to you,” Levi whispers.

She opens her eyes, tilting her head and giving him a questioning look.

“I know that in whatever life you live, you are special because you were born into that world.”

Drops of water start sliding down her cheeks. Nevertheless, her smile grows impossibly wider. Her cheeks are a little more red. The gold in her hazel orbs twinkle brighter than ever, and Levi knows he’s never seen anything more lovely. His thumbs wipe away the tears, rubbing circles on her cheekbones. She lets out a little laugh mixed with a sob, wrapping her arms around his neck. Levi also brings her in closer, leaning his forehead against hers so that their noses are almost touching one another’s.

Petra’s eyes close as she says quietly, “I hope this isn’t a dream.”

Levi shakes his head, a little soft smile forming on his face. “It’s not.” He doesn’t shut his eyes. He wants to remember this image in his mind forever. If this will be his only time with her, then Levi wants to take in every detail of this sweet, tender moment.

She opens her eyes hesitantly, meeting his dark-silver gaze. And then Petra’s smile grows bittersweet. Sadness leaks through her appearance as she threads her fingers through his dark locks, eventually tucking them behind his neck, right below his undercut. “I wish I could stay with you.”

Levi’s heart clenches painfully, and he swallows unsteadily. I wish so too.

Instead, he gently states, “You’re going to live a happy life.”

You’ll meet someone who deserves you, completes you and loves you. You’ll do whatever you want and achieve whatever goal you set. You’ll continue making an impact on others.

You’ll continue to prove me wrong about humans.

“And gradually, you’ll forget about me. It’ll be easier for you that way.” Levi recalls the only time he touched her hair was when it was unhealthy, limp, and dull. Wanting to amend that, he strokes his fingers through the locks of her honey-auburn hair, marveling at how smooth they feel.

Petra vehemently shakes her head. “I told you before that I think my subconscious remembered what you said to me after I died in France. You motivated me to live the way I wanted to for the next few lives. And you gave me the greatest gift this past life. I don’t want to forget the impact you had on me.”

She then strokes his cheekbones again. The corners of her mouth become softer. “So, even if all I can remember in my next life are your eyes, that’s enough for me. I never want to forget them now.”

Something in Levi begins racing. A strange mix of feelings arise within him. On one hand, there is longing and bitterness. His grip on her waist strengthens, bringing her even more into his body. There’s a sensation that makes him want to rip his chest open and give something to her. He never wants this time with her to end, because it would mean facing the reality of their situation.

On the other hand, there’s contentment and peace. He doesn’t notice anything other than Petra. Her hair delicately tickles the side of his cheek, causing Levi to turn his nose into the side of her head. Inhaling her sweet scent, he finally closes his eyes and takes in the sensation of her warm body pressed against his. Levi feels like he’s flying through the skies, like he’s done so many times before. Except, this time there’s a light fuzziness that overtakes him, wiping his mind of everything: the past, present and the impeding future.

Levi doesn’t know how long they stay in that position, but eventually he feels something shift in the air. A sharp pang of sorrow twists in him as he realizes that this might be the last tender moment he’ll have with her soul for a potentially long time. Nevertheless, he swallows the surfacing angst and lets out a small sigh, before pulling away.

Brushing the back of his fingers against her smooth cheek one last time, he whispers, “I think you need to go soon.”

Moisture start forming in her eyes, but the gold in them only grows impossibly brighter as she intensely stares into his own dark-silver eyes. It’s as if she were also imprinting this image of him into her mind also — as if she’d truly remember who he was to her when she lives her next life. She sniffles and nods. “Until next time, Levi.”

A pleasant feeling blooms and spreads within him – enough to overcome the ache in his chest that brings forth the overwhelming desire to stay with her. Even if he was becoming more human, he knows with certainty that he doesn’t regret having these feelings for her. All because Petra’s happiness will be absolutely worth it.

Therefore, Levi gives a small genuine smile as he says, “Live the next one to the fullest. Don’t have any regrets.”

Her eyes twinkle again, and she steps away from him slowly. His body immediately mourns the loss of the warmth that was once pressed to him. Levi’s stomach sinks when he sees the golden gleam up close before she has to leave. There’s a smile on her face, but he also sees that she’s attempting to not cry. It agonizes him, but he clenches his fists to avoid doing something reckless. His eyes take Petra in one last time, prompting the corners of his lips to turn up genuinely and softly.

The prior feeling of wanting to rip open his chest is now replaced with a phenomenon of something settling inside. He doesn’t know what it is, but it’s comfortable and placates him. Thus, he gives her a nod, wordlessly encouraging her to continue on her path.

Folding her hands in front of her body, Petra gives him one last wide, lovely smile, displaying her dimples. Her eyes brim with unshed tears as the corners crinkle in both happiness and anguish. She turns around, proceeding to walk steadily down the hill. The wind gusts around her, blowing her sweet scent to him as she disappears in a flash of light.

Levi doesn’t know how long he stands there for. He feels like he’s been in a trance for eternity. After basking in the afterglow of both satisfaction and hurt, the reaper feels a familiar presence come up behind him. Turning his head away from the immortal, he asks gruffly, “Were you watching the entire time?”

“Of course not. Though, just from a glance, I could tell what was going on,” Erwin says.

The immortal king of Paradise and the Afterlife stands beside him. He looks to the horizon and gives a contemplative hum, before questioning, “Would you be happy if she lived a long life with another human?”

Levi is silent for a moment before responding, “If she can find happiness doing whatever her heart wants, then that’s enough for me.”

The corners of Erwin’s lips turn up a bit. “You never used to be this sentimental.”

Tch. Levi shuffles his weight briefly. He tucks one hand into the pockets of his trousers. “Yeah, well.”

“All because of a human?” His friend’s tone is teasing, but there is a hint of curiosity beneath the question.

Once Levi would’ve thought it laughable. Now, he finds that it’s the painful, yet beautiful, truth. In a low voice, he responds, “It’s strange. Before, I thought I understood humans. At the same time though, I knew I didn’t.”

When he remembers the gold shimmering brightly amid the hazel, a little smile tugs at his lips. “I still don’t completely understand them. But she showed me there’s maybe more to them than I originally expected.”

Erwin nods, a genuine tilt of his lips forming. “Well, Dok has been insistent on implementing some cautionary measures against you. He’s worried you might try to do something with her soul as long as she continues to reincarnate.”

Levi snorts. “As if. I know the lines that can’t be crossed.” No matter how I feel.

“Well. I could always give you permission to cross them.”

The reaper glances at Erwin and raises an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious.”

“Mm. Of course, I can’t let you do anything with her soul.” Erwin then turns around, proceeding to walk away from the hill. “But you’re free to do whatever you want with yourself.”

Levi narrows his eyes, wondering what the blonde-haired immortal means. And then he pauses. His dark-silver eyes widen by a margin, and the reaper rapidly twists his head to stare at Erwin’s back. “Do you mean…?” He trails off, leaving the question in the air.

His king turns around to give him a little smirk. “Most immortals would consider being stripped of all power as a punishment, anyway.”

Levi gapes at him stunned, his lips parted. But then he looks away, swallowing unsteadily. “For how long?”

Erwin hums. “Time runs so differently here. Who knows?”

The reaper stands there dumbstruck. So many thoughts run through his mind, and he doesn’t even know where to start. Images of his mother, Isabel, Furlan, Erwin, and (even) Four-Eyes pop up in his vision. His throat closes. After a few seconds of silence, he finally musters up the words to reply, “You really think I can just leave everyone here in Paradise?”

“It certainly is a tradeoff. It just depends on what you choose to value.”

“You really think it makes sense to choose that option?” Levi scoffs, almost derisively. Although he certainly feels more for humans now, the reaper still can’t imagine being among them. He knows Petra is special and doesn’t deny his feelings for her; yet he doesn’t know if those sentiments apply to all of the mortals on Earth.

“After over 2000 years of existence, I know the both of us agree that humans are fickle creatures. They certainly have their moments,” Erwin chuckles blandly.

But then, his expression becomes more thoughtful as he looks to the short reaper. The blonde-haired immortal clasps his hands behind him. “However, I’ve believed for a long time that there is a beauty to how they try to give meaning to their lives — no matter if it’s successful or not. We, the immortals, simply govern the natural realms. We continuously are.”

Levi mulls over Erwin’s words, thinking about his existence, completing his tasks as a reaper. Never giving a second thought to human lives until he began to interact more with Petra. Never thinking that they could do more to break the cycle. Never thinking that there was anything more to how humans tried to endeavor in their lives.

“They have many shortcomings, but they can also have strengths. Even if it’s not clear if they can change, perhaps, we can learn something from them.”

He never gave a thought about interfering with their lives and deaths, until he met Petra. Some part of him couldn’t deny it was selfish. It was so human to put his own desires above his purpose and existence.

But was it really as wrong as he thought it was?

The king of Paradise continues on his path and then waves his hand nonchalantly towards Levi. “It’s your choice. Let us know your decision.”

Erwin disappears out of the realm. Levi continues to stand there — for what feels like forever — lost in his thoughts.

Part of him understands this decision will go everything that he is. For the first time, he thinks he feels fear from the unknown. A storm begins to take over in his mind. It’s not something he’s ever considered before. Moreover, Levi has recurring doubts – aside from his thoughts about humans, would doing something like this even be worth it in the end?

But another part feels like something inside him is still being pulled towards the soul on the other side of the Afterlife. As he stays in that position, the pull gets stronger and stronger, until it’s almost unbearable. An almost excruciating sensation seems like it’s trying to burst through his chest and Levi wants it to stop. He gingerly brings his hand to his chest, rubbing the spot in slow motions, hoping that the ache will mitigate.

Suddenly, he remembers the complete and warm feeling of holding Petra in his arms. He recalls her smile and the light pink on her cheeks. Closing his eyes briefly, he smells a subtle, floral scent in the air. He can vividly see the gold in her orbs radiating with so many emotions more brightly than he’s ever seen them before. The agonizing tug in his chest subsides as he thinks about his last moments with her.

The visions he has of Petra are so wonderful. How could something so perfect be so human?

We can learn something from them.

In that instant, Levi realizes that for all the flaws that humans have, they can still be beautiful in their existences. Moreover, he recognizes that even if Petra lived countless lives of loss and suffering, she would continue to persevere and move forward, bringing her beauty to others. Maybe her efforts could make an impact. Maybe they could strive for ways to break the endless cycle.

Maybe some could change. Maybe it’s not all meaningless.

He’s learned many things from Petra. Above all, not all humans are predictable. Because he never would’ve predicted a human like her would live deep inside him — his heart.

Which is why Levi understands that he wants to see if that beauty can reach him even more — if he can learn more things about himself.

Therefore, a smile forms on his face as he makes his way back up to Paradise to settle some loose ends.

Levi taps his foot impatiently while waiting.

Most people are getting ready for the workday, but he’s ready to go to bed after a 12-hour shift on call at the ER. The physician desperately needed something to quell the migraine building in his skull after monitoring a patient’s vitals for the whole night in case an infection sprung on them.

The dark-haired man checks the time on his watch, before repressing the urge to swear out loud from frustration. This wasn’t his usual café for tea, but this was one of the few closer to the hospital. He still needs to wrap up a few things with some patients before he can go home and just pass out.

“Earl Grey for Levi!”

Holy shit, finally.

Quickly striding over to the countertop, Levi gives the worker a little grunt as he moves to pick up the cup and head out the doors. At the exact same time, while he turns to the left, a young woman unfortunately turns to the right to pick up her coffee.

They bump into one another, Levi’s Earl Grey spilling onto the floor and onto his black winter jacket. He gapes down at himself in astonishment. Irritation rises swiftly in him. Levi’s migraine gets impossibly worse, red leaking through his vision. He blinks slowly, trying to resist the impulse to cuss out everything in this world for the awful-as-hell night and this awful-as-hell morning.

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking, I was in a rush and didn’t realize that you were also there! Let me — "

“Oi.” Levi’s voice is tight. He’s breathing heavily through his nose. Try to be calm. He is (somewhat) successfully able to reign in his temper as he lifts his eyes to meet hers, telling himself mentally to not yell at her. Yet, any thought in his mind just vanishes at the sight of her.

All the noise around them dwindles as their gazes meet. His heart starts racing and pounding in his ears. She’s a petite woman, about a few inches shorter than him. Her honey-auburn hair falls to her chin and delicately glows under the light from the ceiling. The young woman’s large hazel eyes have gold specks within them that reflect worry and surprise. Everything about her seems so different, yet so familiar. He feels a strange sensation — as if his heart were being carved out of his chest.

Like it was being pulled towards her.

A rush of sentiments passes through him, and he can’t make out all of them at once. Without realizing it, a tiny prickle of water forms in his vision. His breath comes out unsteadily the more he studies her. It feels like he’s in some sort of sweet nightmare. Suddenly, he discerns two feelings hitting him: comfort and hurt.

With a jolt, Levi registers that the two of them have just been standing there, gaping at one another. Awkwardness leaks through the atmosphere, adding more tension to the encounter. “It’s fine,” he settles for responding. His voice sounds extremely croaky.

Her (beautiful) face frowns a bit. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He brushes by her, the desire to get the hell out of there overtaking him. Levi absentmindedly grabs a few napkins and wipes his jacket as he exits the doors. At least he’s still wearing his scrubs. But even when he gets back to the hospital, he can’t help but think about those hazel eyes with the shimmers of gold in them.

And why his chest startingly stings whenever he recalls those eyes.

Unconsciously, Levi stops by the cafe from time to time, but he doesn’t see her there. Interestingly, the dark-haired man feels so disappointed and disheartened. But when those emotions come, he’ll immediately force them out.

He’s never even met her before that day… Right?

Two months go by, and eventually he stops going to the café, opting to continue going to his usual spot for tea. Three months later in May, however, he’s heading to work another night shift at the hospital. On his route, he finds himself outside of the same café where he had that peculiar encounter. A little shiver tingles up his spine. Levi ignores it and plans to continue on his path. However, his feet almost move against his own will as he enters through the doors, scanning the diminishing number of people in the place.

And then he sees her.

She’s at a table, with books and papers spread out before her as she types away on her computer. There’s a scrunch between her eyebrows, giving her a look of intense concentration. Her lips are somewhat pursed as she writes something. However, Levi notices her eyes are glittering as she continues doing her work. When he sees them sparkle under the lighting, he wonders what she’s writing about that could cause her eyes to look like that.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, simply observing her. Eventually, the young woman reclines in her seat and stretches her arms. Rolling her neck around, her gaze also roams the insides of the café before it meets his stare.

Time stops. Neither of them breaks eye contact. He doesn’t move from his spot, and she doesn’t get up. Her lips part. Everything around them falls silent. The only thing Levi can hear is the insistent thumping of his heart against his chest. Distantly, he registers that he’s not breathing. His throat closes. His mouth feels so dry.

Why does it feel like his heart is twisting and sinking when he peers into those eyes?

Regardless, it feels like a rope is tied around his body, tugging him towards her. Involuntarily, he takes the steps to move closer to the table. Everything about the situation makes him feel disassociated. It’s like he’s a spirit floating above Earth right now, simply watching himself in this strange wordless interaction. His mind is in some sort of fog. Levi hears the echoes of his shoes against the floor as he finally stands by her. He looks down at her, while she peers up at him.

Those gold specks…

Finally closing her mouth, she tries to put on a wide smile as she says, “I hope you didn’t get burned or anything that day.”

So, she also remembered from that morning.

Levi slowly shakes his head. “No, I was fine.”

The young woman nods. He doesn’t know what to say. Levi honestly feels like he’s in a dream right now. Everything feels hazy and nonsensical. A strange mix of emotions runs through him. While there was a familiar sting of pain, there is also an underlying current of… Happiness? Nostalgia?

It feels like I’ve loved her since so long ago.

He immediately forces that out of his head. This is only the second time they’ve met.

But…

“Have we met before that day?” The words come out of his mouth without a second thought.

The lines between her brows squeeze together. She shakes her head, her mouth agape. “No. I feel like I’d remember you if I did.” At that sentence, a light blush tinges her cheeks.

Levi nods, preparing to leave. Yet, his feet are stuck to the floor. “What are you working on?”

What is it about her that seems like it’s calling out to him?

The young woman looks stunned. Levi inwardly winces at his bluntness. Nevertheless, she recovers and says, “It’s a paper on women in World War II. I’m a second-year PhD student focusing on gender and sexuality.”

He doesn’t know why, but the subject seems to fit her. “It seems like you have a passion for it.”

A little smile tugs at the corner of her lips as she responds gently, “Thank you.”

Levi is unaware of how his eyes soften just a tad when he hears her gratitude. His features are less harsh, causing him to look more youthful. A little lull falls over them, but it’s not awkward. The more he studies the light in her eyes, the more a calming feeling grows and spreads. Levi feels his heart race again — except this time, it’s not unpleasant. Swallowing steadily, he gives her a nod and turns to leave.

“What’s your name?” she calls out, her voice a bit timid after he takes a few steps away from her.

The dark-haired man slightly rotates his body to face her again. “Levi Ackerman.”

In that instant, the sun hits her hair in a way that makes her aura radiate. Her smile grows a little larger and a little shyer, displaying her dimples. “Petra Ral.”

When her gold specks shine brighter than before, Levi feels time start again.