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"So this person won't like sweets, won't like flowers, isn't the type to go out on dates... can I get some fucking clue as to what they actually like? Please?" Taiga asks, not for the first time this conversation. Hiiro has been staunchly avoiding sharing any details whatsoever, coming to Taiga with little more than "what do I do?" and a hilariously pitiable look on his face.
Hiiro sighs, hopefully resigning himself to sharing some info.
"He's just not-- I mean..."
"God, you suck at lying. I knew it was a guy," Taiga notes with a little smirk. "You don't have to hide anything. If you're going through the trouble of asking me for help, then don't fucking obstruct me."
"I... guess I don't know what he likes, in this regard," Hiiro says, eyes in his lap where his hands rest delicately on each thigh, still sitting up straight despite his dejection. He's so damn proper.
"Ugh," Taiga grunts, leaning back and letting his office chair turn halfway away from Hiiro. "I'm out of generic romantic ideas. If it were me, I'd want barbecue."
"... Barbecue? What, as a date?"
"Eh, maybe it's just been a while. I don't like that sappy, heavy shit. I'd just wanna go somewhere with good food and talk about normal things. You two must have something in common, right?"
Again, Hiiro hesitates to share.
"Both doctors?" he guesses, and the sharp gasp and absolute deer-in-headlights look Hiiro gives him are dead giveaways.
"Do... do you already know who it is..?" Hiiro asks, all suspicious caution like the world will explode if Taiga comes to possess that knowledge.
He has an inkling. He always figured there was something there between Hiiro and Emu, after all.
... Wait, isn't that total bullshit, though? Emu would probably eat that romantic nonsense up. He'd be starstruck if Hiiro deigned to share a slice of cake with him. Flowers and dates and such wouldn't be lost on him either.
It has to be a coworker, though. Judging by Hiiro's reaction, it's someone Taiga has at least heard of.
"Just try the--"
"There's also--"
Taiga tries to deflect at the same time as Hiiro, both of them stopping midway through changing the subject.
"Also what?" Taiga asks, urging Hiiro to go first.
"I..." He clears his throat and collects himself. "As you know, I squandered my time with the only other person I got involved with. That being said, I've never... done certain things. Things that are expected in a relationship."
Taiga can't believe this. Scratch that, he can believe this, but he can't believe this is why Hiiro came to him today.
"Are you telling me a virgin is trying to be the world's best doctor?" Taiga can't resist.
"Oh. That too, but I actually meant kissing..."
Taiga scoffs and tries to fight an amused smile.
"Yeah, that's not something I can really put into words. Hey, why don't you try Kujou? He seems like he'd be good for this kind of thing," he suggests, though he knows Hiiro probably picked Taiga out of familiarity.
"... Maybe I should. Thank you for your consideration and your time."
Hiiro stands, eyes scanning the room like there's an elephant in it that Taiga doesn't know about. He takes a deep breath and then manages to meet Taiga's eyes.
"This has been embarrassing and uncomfortable for both of us, I assume. I was thinking of making it up to you. As it happens, you did mention barbecue earlier..."
"Yeah. All you eat is sugar, so you probably don't even know any good places. I'll take you to my favorite," Taiga says, standing and shrugging his coat off, leaving it draped over his chair.
Of course, Hiiro doesn't go home and change or anything, so he walks into the restaurant looking like rules and money amidst a sea of casual wear.
"At least lose the tie," Taiga tells him once they're seated.
Hiiro ponders it for an awkward moment before sighing and reaching up to loosen it, moving entirely slower than is strictly necessary. Taiga finds the movement of those precise hands mesmerizing and the way he slips the tie off one side and undoes the top button of his shirt more than a little attractive. Whoever he's been trying to make a move on is lucky-- at least as far as looks go. Taiga wouldn't be surprised if Hiiro has been trying to hide his crush by being inexplicably rude and dismissive to the person in question.
The best part of what they've agreed is a "practice date" is watching Hiiro try hot sauce for the first time. It's funny how absolutely defined by his sweet tooth he is, considering seven years ago he claimed not to like sweets. What the hell did he eat before, then? Plain rice? Untoasted bread with nothing on it?
"Actually, I used to eat a lot of seafood," is Hiiro's response when Taiga voices his thoughts, his voice a little terse between attempts at washing the heat out of his mouth with water that's cold enough for the condensation to drip down his hand. Taiga's eyes linger for a little too long.
"Huh. Expensive sushi or what?"
"No, I like grilled mackerel. And tuna."
Taiga himself has always been happy with spiced meat. As a teenager, he subsisted off of little other than beef jerky.
"Gonna get your new boyfriend to start packing you tuna sandwiches for lunch, then?" Taiga asks while sliding the hot sauce over to his side of the table.
"I'm not looking for a nanny to fuss over me," Hiiro protests, neatly cutting into his food with exact precision while the person in the booth behind him barehands a strip of beef.
An amused smile finds its way onto Taiga's face at how absolutely out of place Hiiro is here. He dips the tip of his thumb into the little plastic cup of sauce and leans forward to smear it across Hiiro's cheek.
"What--?! What are you doing, unlicensed doctor?!" he squawks, rushing to wipe the sauce away with a napkin and pulling his phone out to use as a mirror to make sure he got it all.
"Hey, I got my license back, remember? Besides, you look way too uppity and rich to be here. Relax or you're gonna get mugged when I'm not looking."
Taiga presses his thumb to his lips to lick the remaining sauce off and Hiiro looks at him with wide eyes, indignant anger quickly fading.
"I... suppose I didn't dress properly for the occasion," he says, taking a downward glance at the crisp suit and slacks he's wearing. To barbecue.
"It's fine. I doubt you own a single T-shirt, anyway," Taiga figures. The unbidden idea of lending Hiiro one of his own, which would certainly turn out too big on him, barges its way into his head and almost into his mouth.
"I own plain, simple clothes. I just don't typically wear them out." Hiiro pauses, brow furrowed but with a miraculous absence of wrinkles on his face. "Should I?"
Taiga swears he means to answer the question, but he gets distracted analyzing the shape of Hiiro's face; his jaw, his cheeks, his insanely perfect lips.
"... I didn't get it all, did I?" Hiiro assumes, dabbing another napkin against his glass to collect water and start wiping at his cheek again. He unconsciously angles his face when he does it, like if he were in front of a mirror, and it does him an uncountable amount of favors.
And to think-- a few years ago, Taiga was sure he wasn't even into guys.
"So what did you wanna do about the whole lack of experience thing?" Taiga asks out of the blue, his heart beating a little faster at his own idiocy. What is he expecting, exactly?
"Oh, I..."
Hiiro clears his throat twice, trying and failing to say something before settling on taking a long sip of water to stall for time.
"I mean, you're already practicing the whole date thing with me here. Wanna try a kiss?"
Taiga sounds entirely too calm for how his chest feels like it's imploding. It only gets tighter when he notices that delightful pink flush dusting across Hiiro's cheeks. He ignores the question and starts stuffing his face with meat-- still so dainty and proper as always, but really only filling his mouth as an excuse nonetheless.
"Christ, I can take no for an answer, Hiiro," Taiga says in an attempt to soothe his nerves, and to convince himself he doesn't actually care that much. The anticipation is killing him, and Hiiro would be able to see it in Taiga's eyes if he could look at him for more than half a second.
"W-was that a serious offer?"
Oh god. On second thought, maybe he should have played it off as a stupid joke.
"I mean... I just meant, because it's not something I can really explain with words, that's kind of the next logical step, to uh... to just do it," he fumbles his way through his sorry explanation.
Hiiro crumples up the napkin he'd reached for when he'd been keeping them carefully folded previously. He notices a second too late, releasing the napkin only for his fingers to curl up again before resting on the table, and then to raise up in front of Hiiro's mouth as he clears his throat yet again.
Taiga presses his lips together and sighs curtly before digging into the rest of his food before it gets too cold. Hopefully they can both just forget this idiotic practice date ever happened by the end of the week.
"Someplace less crowded," Hiiro quietly requests several minutes after the fact. When Taiga looks up in shock at him, he realizes it's not the lighting in the restaurant making his face look so completely red.
Now he's back to dying of what he's expertly diagnosed as anticipation disease. It shouldn't be strange to want to kiss in private, but it's getting late and imagining cornering Hiiro in an empty alleyway to make out with him against the wall is doing awful things to Taiga.
"Maybe... at my place," Hiiro goes on to suggest, and Taiga just can't fucking do it anymore.
He stands, gets out his wallet, doesn't even count how much money he's leaving on the table, and quickly leans down to capture Hiiro's lips in a kiss. Hiiro gasps into it, lost and confused, and Taiga breaks away and leaves before he can ask questions.
He doesn't know how he expected to get away. Of course Hiiro runs out after him, grabbing him by the wrist on the sidewalk.
"I just-- I can't do that heavy shit, alright? I can't," Taiga answers before Hiiro can even ask. "Because whoever--"
He's cut off by Hiiro initiating another kiss, right in front of whoever the hell wants to look over at them. It's neat and quick, but he stays close like he knows there's supposed to be more to it.
It's right then and there that Taiga realizes it.
"Fucking idiots, both of us. There is no other person, is there?"
Hiiro shakes his head, and Taiga can both see and hear him swallow, his shallow breath pausing with the movement.
"Will you show me how..?"
God, and there's an alleyway right there. Taiga can't resist-- he doesn't even check to see that no one is loitering down it, just yanks Hiiro out of view of the street and slams his hands against the wall on either side of Hiiro's head, living out the fantasy that only just occurred to him mere minutes ago. Hiiro being so receptive is unexpected, even though Taiga just found out he'd been wanting this the whole time. He even makes a little noise and presses closer when Taiga's tongue slips into his mouth.
"Hope you know this doesn't count," Taiga says as he finally pulls away, brushing the dirt from the wall off his palms.
"Wh-what?"
Taiga smirks at him.
"It was a practice date, remember? You're paying for the real date," Taiga informs Hiiro with a two-fingered jab to his chest. "Don't want a "nanny" taking care of you, after all."
"... I will be sure to dress appropriately," Hiiro says, entirely too serious as always.
It makes Taiga's smirk spread into a genuine smile.