Work Text:
“Y/n, I said leave me alone!”
“But I just wanted-”
“I don’t care, I want to be alone!” Jimin snapped again, glaring up at you from where he was sitting on the sofa, phone in hand as he was once again going over the latest choreography. You weren’t sure how long he had been mulling over the video, over the mistakes he had caught as he danced. He had been a bit more sensitive than usual, stressed out about work as things seemed to be so hectic. He had already told you he wanted to be alone for a bit, and for hours you spent entertaining yourself until you decided to come by with a small snack and a warm drink for him. You thought he would’ve appreciated it, but his attitude seemed sourer than it was earlier.
You had set the drink and plate down, crossing your arms with a frown. Jimin looked tired but wound up pretty bad. “I know you’re really busy, but don’t you think it's best to take a break? You look horrible, why don’t you come watch a movie with me and just relax? I made you some-”
Jimin’s frustrated groan cut you off. Jimin pushed his hair back, rubbing his aching head for a second before slanting his glare back at you. “Can’t you just go away? You’ve been annoying me all afternoon! You were being too loud earlier and now you just won’t stop talking! I have a headache, just shut up!” You stared at Jimin, dumbfounded as he went on muttering to himself about how you were always like this, how you never knew when you just be quiet.
“I just…”
“I can’t do this Y/n, you’re just too clingy. Give me some space to think.”
Your face burned in utter embarrassment at how Jimin was speaking to you, but you couldn’t find the words to argue back. You already felt like crying, so you decided to just go for the night. Clearly, he wasn’t in a rational mood, so you slid your shoes on and grabbed your keys before heading out. You figured you’d go for a walk, give Jimin some time alone to cool off. Maybe you’d call a friend and stay with them until the morning just to be safe.
“Are you going to apologize?”
Jimin quirked an eyebrow at Taehyung’s question, the two of them currently warming up for practice alongside Jungkook, who had quietly listened to Jimin tell what had happened last night. “Why should I apologize?”
“Well, if she hasn’t come home or contacted you since the fight, she’s probably really upset.”
“It didn’t sound like a fight,” Jungkook said, “You said some pretty mean things to her.”
Jimin shrugged, “you don’t get it, she’s always like that. She’s always talking and making noise, even when I ask her to be quiet. It’s like she doesn’t care if it annoys me.” He huffed, “and you guys have said it before, she is kind of clingy.”
“I guess…” Jungkook muttered, feeling a bit bad for Jimin’s poor attitude. Even if you were talkative or clingy, he believed Jimin was still a bit mean in his approach. “You still care about her though, don’t you?”
That caught Jimin’s attention, causing the man to turn and look Jungkook right on with a small frown tugging at his lips. “Of course, we just need some time apart. I’ll call her tomorrow.” He explained, “I still have a lot of work to do tonight.”
Taehyung hummed, “as long as you talk it out, but it’s better to handle these things sooner than later.”
Jimin had opened his mouth to say something but was cut off with Jin’s voice calling to him from the other side of the room. He looked over to the eldest, finding him standing near where he had dropped his things holding his phone. “Your phone’s ringing like crazy” he pointed out.
“Probably Y/n.” Jimin groaned, “I’ll call during the break, we’re starting soon.”
Jin nodded, leaving the phone aside while Jimin went back to warming up. Jungkook got up to join Hoseok and talk but was pulled away at the sound of his phone ringing lowly in his bag. He checked quickly, a bit surprised to find one of his friends calling. She was friends with you as well and you had met Jimin through her and Jungkook some time ago. Jungkook didn’t talk to her much anymore, just life and drifting apart, so he answered the call to see what she could want. “Hey- what’s wrong? What do you mean?” Jungkook nervously shifted his eyes to where Jimin and Taehyung were caught up in conversation. “Where is she?” Jungkook had gone to shake Jimin’s shoulder for his attention, looking down at him with eyes glazed over with worry and shock.
“What is it?” Jimin tilted his head to the side slightly, furrowing his brows at Jungkook’s behavior. “Is that Y/n?”
“No- she’s...h-here.” Jimin took Jungkook's phone with apprehension before asking who he was speaking with. His heart jumped a bit at the sound of it being one of your friends, and while he wanted to believe they were just calling to tell him to apologize or something; he had a feeling something wasn’t right with their depressed tone.
“The hospital?” Jimin blurted in shock as your friend told him, “What kind of accident? Is she okay?” Jimin had stood, scurrying to grab his things and passing Jungkook his phone back.
“Jimin, is everything okay?” Namjoon asked, watching the dancer hurry out, seemingly ready to start running if needed.
“No, something happened to Y/n. I have to go.” Jimin didn’t wait around for Namjoon or anyone else’s response, as he was out the door and calling for more information.
Jimin sat nervously in the waiting room. His hands balled and picked at his clothes, his leg bounced on and off and he found it hard to distract himself with anything. He was waiting to see you, filled in on some details on what happened, but still struck with shock and confusion. Two days ago the two of you were laughing over lunch, last night he was yelling at you, and today he was sitting in the hospital. He tried to cheer himself up, the doctors said things could’ve been worse, that you were very lucky to come in the way you did. You would still need time to recover, small injuries here and there and then there was the matter of your voice. You were still asleep, but the damage was clear and they predicted you having trouble speaking- that was if you could even speak at all. Things were still unsure, it would be touch and go for a bit, but Jimin told himself that you weren’t really going to lose your voice. It would be unlikely, unbelievable- just plain cruel on fate’s part.
He hadn’t seen or spoken to you since that night and his nerves were on fire as he was directed to your room, where you were assumed to still be asleep. Jimin stood for a moment outside the door, trying to come up with what he should say, should he run to you as he wanted? Were you still upset with him, should he give you space? Should he ask how you felt or apologize immediately? Shaking his head Jimin opened the door, he would let things happen naturally, that was probably the best way for you.
He crept in quietly, coming to your bedside and looking where you lay. He cringed, you were banged up pretty bad with bruises and cuts, even sleeping you looked exhausted with bags forming and your hair a mess, pushed lazily away in the rush of being admitted. Jimin sat down, the gravity of what was happening set in deeper. He waited there for a bit, just twenty minutes or so until you woke up. Your eyes fluttered open, squinting and darting around the unfamiliar room before settling on Jimin. You took a few moments, pushing yourself up while Jimin stood and came to your side. “Y/n?” he asked, voice hushed as his eyes searched you, struggling to read you.
You peered up at him, the realization of where you were setting in as your brow knit in concentration. Your lips parted to speak, but you stopped yourself for a moment, unsure of what to say. You were aching, in discomfort, and still sitting with a jumbled race of thoughts. And here was Jimin, your loving and caring boyfriend- your best friend standing before you. You should’ve been overwhelmed with happiness or something, right? Why was your reaction so lackluster? He was here for you, waiting for you to do something yet the last memory you have of him was his lashing out. Calling you clingy, annoying, wishing you would just shut up.
It made your heart hurt worse than any of your injuries. You opened your mouth to speak again, but the only thing you heard was haggard breaths that tried so desperately to form words. Again your brown knit in confusion and then your eyes filled with panic as again you were unable to call out to him. “Y/n it’s okay” Jimin tried to soothe, “the doctor will be here soon- something bad happened and your voice- I-I’m so sorry” Jimin sputtered, thoughts racing as he clicked again and again for the doctor, someone, to come.
And they did after a few moments. The doctor came and Jimin sat back down as he explained what was happening to you. Still, in shock you listened, nodding along now again as you took the information in. You could barely remember what happened after you left the apartment. To have it all told to you under these circumstances wasn’t ideal. The doctor left you, unable to talk and still processing until you felt Jimin take your hand in his. “It’s a lot,” he said, “are you okay?”
You stared at him for a long moment before shaking your head and pulling your hand away. There were so many emotions running through your mind. Anger, confusion, fear, resentment. You remember very clearly how Jimin had treated you and despite the circumstances, you still felt a swell of sadness sitting heavy in your chest. You searched for your phone, but couldn’t find it so you swiped a pen and notepad from the bedside drawer. With shaky hands you began to write to Jimin, unsure of what to say but fueled with newfound anger. Anger towards Jimin or what was happening right now? You weren’t entirely sure.
Looks like you got what you wanted.
Jimin’s face turned in confusion.
You wanted me to shut up. Here you go.
His face grew red. “Y/n I- I’m sorry, but you can’t possibly think I wanted this?” Your head remained turned from him. “You’re kidding me, right? Do you think I wanted this?”
It was clear how annoying you thought I was.
“I was just frustrated- I’d never want something like this. I’d never want you to get hurt in any way! Don’t think this Y/n- don’t think anything I said was true- it wasn’t, I love you!”
You rolled the pen in your hand, frustrated that you couldn’t shout back at him. It wasn’t fair. So what if he was frustrated, was that an excuse for how nasty he had been? It wasn’t. Just because you were hurt you’re supposed to forget it even happened? Hell, would you have even gotten hurt if he hadn’t been so mean that night? You weren’t sure if that was fair. To hold that thought above your image of Jimin. To point the blame at him for this happening, but you couldn’t help it. You were angry, still hurt.
Can you just give me some time alone?
Jimin gave you a look that said he didn’t want to leave, pleading eyes that asked you just to take a moment and listen to him, but you didn’t feel like listening. You were tried, mentally and physically and you had barely begun to let all your thoughts and feelings sink in. Jimin only sighed, getting with painstaking slow movements until he reached the door. He looked back to you, telling you that he loved you and that he would come back tomorrow afternoon.
So you were left to sit alone, pondering over your current situation for the rest of the night.
You followed the same routine for the next few days they held you in the hospital. Jimin came in the afternoon and spent hours with you. After some time to think and cool down, you had warmed up to him again, smiling and talking the evening away. Your friend had recovered your phone and brought it to you, so instead of scribbling in the notepad, you took to texting Jimin instead. It was easier, but you weren’t content with it. Over time your voice could come back, or it could stay damaged. It was a chance for either or, which left Jimin happy and optimistic, while you were stuck. It was hard not being able to express yourself through words. It was discouraging every time you opened your mouth to speak only to remember your situation. When you were finally discharged from the hospital Jimin had taken you back home, where you remained in bed most of the days.
Jimin had to keep going with his schedule, thankfully it wasn’t too packed at the moment. He tried his best to cheer you up, spark your optimism for the situation, but you were despondent to most of his attempts. He understood it would take time, but he wanted things to be the same as they were before the fight. Everything had been perfect until his outburst. To know that the last thing he said to you was that you were too loud and clingy hurt. It filled him with immense guilt.
“Y/n?” Jimin whispered one night, laying stiff beside you. Your back was turned to him while he had been staring at the ceiling for the past forty minutes or so since laying down for the night. He felt you shift, turning over to look at him, still wide awake. “Do you really think I meant what I said?” He listened as you rustled around for a second, searching for your phone, so he grabbed his as well to wait for your message.
I know you didn’t, but it still hurts.
Jimin reread the text a few times, lips pursing slightly as he tried to formulate his next words. “There isn’t a single excuse for what I said to you.” He spoke just above a whisper. “I shouldn’t take bad days out on you. You’re not clingy I just- I love you for you and…” You could tell by the shake in his voice that he was tearing up, so you scooted closer to him, taking his hand in yours. “You haven’t told me you loved me since everything happened and I just want you to know that it’s okay if you don’t love me anymore.”
Of course, I still love you.
This is all just so hard. I’m sorry I can’t just bounce back for you.
Jimin sniffled, rolling onto his side so that he faced you. It was dark in the bedroom and you couldn’t tell if he was crying or not anymore. His hands met your face, cupping your cheeks. You shivered a bit, his hands cold, but you leaned into his touch. “I just want to hear you say you love me one more time” he broke down, stray tears sliding down his face and his voice cracking. “I want to hear your voice. I-I hate how quiet it is now. It’s not fair, you don’t deserve this!” Days of guilt hit Jimin like a tidal wave, washing away any act that things were going to be okay. Things weren’t okay. He never thought he would ever yearn so badly to hear your voice. How could have ever thought he wanted your silence? This was nothing less than torture upon you and him.
You mustered a smile, blinking away your tears as you moved to embrace Jimin, who curled into your warmth and grasped at your back as if you were going to leave. “Y/n, I love you.” He murmured, “I’m sorry, I love you” he repeated, though quieter, to himself.
You pressed a kiss onto his head, hugging him tighter as you did. You wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay, that the two of you would get through it somehow. You wanted to tell him you loved him, but you couldn’t. So you just held him throughout the night.