Work Text:
Now, I’ve been working in Parks and Rec for a long time, which means that I’ve known Leslie Knope for a long time. Honestly, she probably wouldn’t be my first choice to have as a boss. To me, this job is just that—a job. It supplements my income so that I can enjoy the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed.
But Leslie? This job is her life. I’m not gonna lie, at first, I didn’t think we’d get along. She was too bubbly, too much of a ‘go-getter’. You know that person who takes things just that extra step too far?
Yeah, that’s her.
But as I got to know her, she grew on me. Sometimes she’s still a bit much for me to handle, but I know she only has the best intentions. Somewhere along the line, we became friends. And when it comes to my friends, I always have their backs.
So, it wasn’t hard for me to see that over the last few months, her attitude just hasn’t been the same. She might think that she’s fooling everyone, but I know better.
I’m pretty good at reading people. You might think that I’m just sitting at my desk doing my nails, but I’m also always paying attention to what’s around me.
And Leslie? Well, something’s off. Her energy just hasn’t been the same lately. It seems forced. Like she’s trying to convince everybody, even herself, that she’s fine when she really isn’t.
At first, I thought it was just the stress of her new city council campaign. But when I thought about it, I realized that this stuff is what she thrives off of. It wouldn’t upset her. If anything it should energize her even more.
No, there’s something personal going on that really hit her hard. I was almost tempted to ask about it, but I thought better of it. She’s the first person to tell you everything about what’s going on with her life. So, if she’s keeping this to herself, it has to be something big.
Come to think of it, where is she? She’s usually in the office at the ass crack of dawn. I’ve been at work for almost a half hour now, and no one has seen her yet.
Another red flag.
Of course, her lateness prompted the rest of my office mates to ditch work and go out for breakfast. I sent them away without me, now enjoying the quietness of the office.
"Good morning, Donna!"
Well, that was short lived.
"Morning, Leslie," I say back, barely glancing up from my computer.
"Sorry I’m late. I got caught up and overslept."
Whoa, now. What did she just say? Leslie sleeps a maximum of 4 hours a night. There is no way she just ‘oversleeps’.
She goes into her office to drop off her things and quickly comes out to look around the department.
"Where is everybody?"
"Breakfast," I say before finally looking up at her.
Something is up. This is not the same Leslie Knope that has been showing up to work the last few months.
She’s bright eyed, smiling a genuine smile that I haven’t seen in weeks. Her face is actually glowing and her lips are just a bit fuller than normal.
Damn, my girl got laid last night.
Now, I’m not one to brag, but I have had my fair share of excellent and passionate evenings, so I can definitely spot the signs of a woman who has been thoroughly and gloriously fucked.
"Oh, that’s great," she finally answers back. "I’m glad that they’re doing things together. Very team building, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"
"Uh-huh," I reply back, giving her a skeptical once over.
She just stares back at me smiling. Oh, yeah. The old Leslie Knope is back with a vengeance.
"Have you seen this month’s river water report?"
"Uh, yeah. I think Jerry has it on his desk."
She walks over to his desk and the next thing I hear is—
"Dammit, Jerry. You’re not even here and you’re ruining everything."
I turn around and see that somehow Jerry’s desk was rigged so that by removing the report, Leslie set off a chain reaction that ended in Jerry’s half drunk cup of coffee spilling all over her pale blue sweater.
Leslie starts trying to dry off the excess coffee with paper towels while I reach into one of my desk drawers and pull out some stain remover.
"Hey, give me your sweater. I have some stain remover so it will hopefully lift the coffee before it sets."
She just looks up at me like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Leslie? Give me the sweater. If you wait any longer, the stain might not come out."
She bites her lip and looks torn.
"What’s the big deal? You have a shirt on underneath, right?"
She shakes her head.
"Then give it to me. No one’s around anyway. It will be clean again before everyone gets back."
She looks really hesitant before she finally takes the sweater off to reveal a sleeveless, low-cut blouse.
Still appropriate for the office, but I can see why she was so reluctant.
She must have at least 3 or 4 hickeys on her chest and shoulders, and those are just on the parts of her I can see.
In my time, I’ve come to realize that leaving these types of bruises is an art form, and I’m a bit jealous at the moment because whoever gave Leslie those marks is a virtual Leonardo da Vinci.
What did I tell you? She most certainly got some last night.
I pretend not to notice at first, busy with applying the stain remover, but I can see Leslie out of the corner of my eye.
She looks like I’m her mom and I just caught her in the act of receiving those hickeys.
"There. That should do it. It would probably be best to wash it right away, but let it dry and you should be okay to wear it the rest of the day. I, uh, can see why you might not want to keep it off."
I can’t help but give her a knowing and proud look as I hand the sweater back to her.
"Thanks. Uhm, this-this isn’t what it looks like."
"Really? ‘Cause it looks like somebody made you very happy last night.”
She smiles and blushes despite herself, and I grin even wider.
"Girl, there is no shame in this room right now. I’m just happy you’re feeling like your old self again. You’ve been really down lately."
"You noticed?"
"Leslie, I’ve known you for years. I can definitely tell when you aren’t your usual bubbly and happy self. I just hope whatever’s happening keeps happening, because you deserve it."
She smiles again and stares at the floor. “Thank you. I am happy. Happier than I’ve been in a really long time.”
"Well, that’s all that matters. But I do have one question-"
She looks up and I swear her face went pale.
"Don’t worry, I’m not gonna ask who it is. Believe me, I value discretion above all else." I lean forward and raise my eyebrows suggestively. "Is he good?"
"Donna!"
I can’t help but laugh at her stunned expression, and she eventually laughs along with me.
We finally settle down, and she looks at me bashfully.
"Honestly?" She sighs and pushes her hair behind her ear. "He’s amazing. God, he makes me feel—I can’t even describe it. We have so much in common, and I love being with him. We, uh, we were apart for a few months, and it was hell. That’s why I haven’t been myself lately. But I think we’re gonna try to make it work. I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a long time."
She smirks at me. “Plus, he’s practically a sex god.”
I laugh and give her a high five. “Get it, Knope!”
"Hey, is anyone here?"
Leslie stands ramrod straight as Ben Wyatt, the Assistant City Manager, walks into the office. She clutches the sweater over her chest, covering her hickeys.
"Ben!" she cries. "I was just. Uhm, sweater, and then coffee, and uh, I’ll be right back."
Leslie runs into her office, presumably to put her sweater back on, and Ben stares at her retreating back.
I clear my throat to get his attention. “Ben? Can I help you with something?”
He jumps a little and tears his eyes away from Leslie’s office. “Uhm, no, I just, uh, had to ask Leslie something.”
I merely nod and watch him fidget. He’s nice and all, but man, he can be so awkward sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I like the guy. I don’t just invite anyone to join me and Tom on ‘Treat Yo Self’ day, after all.
"Hey, Ben. Sorry, I had a little wardrobe malfunction that Donna was helping me out with," Leslie says walking out of her office. "Did you need me for anything."
He glances over at me before turning his attention to Leslie. “Uh, yeah, I just got the proposal that you sent me for the new sprinklers at Ramsett Park, and I had a few questions.”
"Oh, okay. Come on into my office, then."
Something is definitely off here. Lately, there’s been some kind of weird tension with those two. But today’s is a different kind of tension. A good kind.
Shit.
I look through the window into Leslie’s office and see them talking. Leslie has a file open on her desk, and Ben is reading over her shoulder.
A little too close. God, he’s as close as he can be without setting himself up for a sexual harassment suit.
Ben must have said something funny because Leslie’s laughing now, and he’s looking at her like—
Double shit.
I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. Leslie’s mystery man is Ben.
Of course he is. Ben was all sad and depressed at the same time Leslie was. He said he had stopped seeing someone recently. Now everything’s making sense.
Ben’s Leslie’s sex god?
He’s a little to scrawny for my taste, but damn, I didn’t know Wyatt had it in him. Good for him.
Hell, good for both of them.
But, I can see now where the problem is. Technically, he’s our boss, and Chris was very clear that dating between bosses and employees is not allowed.
Wonder how they’re gonna work that one out.
"Sounds good. Just see if we can negotiate a price with the vendor and let me know."
"Will do, Ben. Thanks."
God, they are just standing there not sure what to do next. It’s so awkward, it’d be painful if I didn’t find it so funny.
"So, uhm, I guess I’ll see you later."
"Right. Bye, Ben. See you later today. Or tomorrow. Who knows, right?"
He chuckles nervously. “Yeah. See you when I see you.”
Ben shuffles his feet and waves to me as he leaves the office. I look over at Leslie, and I swear her eyes are following his ass like she wants to take a bite out of it.
She’s got it bad.
Coming to her senses, Leslie looks over at me with a guilty smile on her lips.
"So, that’s your sex god, huh?"
She nods reluctantly.
"Well, don’t worry. Your secret is definitely safe with me."
"Thank you. We’re gonna tell Chris soon, but until then.."
"Say no more. I’ve got your back."
She turns around to go to her office, but I call after her.
"I’m really happy for both of you. Ben’s a little bit of a scrawny nerd, but he’s a good guy."
"Yeah, he really is."
Our moment is interrupted by the return of our co-workers, and Leslie goes to greet them.
"Good morning, everyone! Let’s get ready for our morning meeting."
The office fill with groans as Leslie shuffles them to the conference room. She looks back at me over her shoulder and smiles softly.
It’s good to have Leslie back again, and any man who can bring that much sexual satisfaction to a woman certainly earns my respect.
I don’t know what they’re going to do next, but either way, I have a feeling that Leslie is going to be investing in some more high neck sweaters.