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Lan Wangji had always been a resilient cultivator, everyone knew him to fear neither a thing nor a soul. To many, even most of the Lan disciples, Hanguang-Jun was fearless. Hanguang-Jun was the most courageous and proficient cultivator in all the lands. He would always be where the chaos was, and the light-bearer that he was, would vanquish every inch of darkness. Hanguang-Jun would save the crying children and the helpless kittens, prevent tragedies and protect villages. To them, there seemed nothing he could not do, nothing could ever give him reason to be afraid.

But Lan Wangji had harboured the truth. The ugly truth. He was no all-powerful being with unfailing strength akin to an ox or everlasting bravery as that of a lion. For he held but one fear. A fear that when provoked would consume him, control him. A fear that on some days would gnaw into him and make him keep his husband a little closer, hold him a little tighter. For his fear was of losing him again. His soulmate. Body scattered to the cold earth, soul bound to the neverland. Alone and not with him. Alone and not where he belonged, in his arms.

Nightmares were no strangers to him, but neither were they friends. They were familiar enemies that would show up in the dead of night unannounced. They were a black mist that would creep up on him, concealing his demons within it and allowing them to devour him.

He had not been at their mercy in so long that Lan Wangji was at first confused as to where he was.

He found himself at the bottom of a cliffside, the rock a menacing obsidian colour mixed with the red of blood. The path that led to the edge of the precipice was lined with pointed stone that jutted out in different directions. Lan Wangji's feet were unbalanced because of the uneven surface, so he kept his footing steady as he looked around. He saw behind him a battlefield he recognised all too well. This was nightless city. This was that cliff.

It was silent, lest for the cool breeze that swept through his hair. He tried to move forward, to explore his surroundings, but his legs would not follow his command. They were rooted to the ground. What was happening? Why was he here? He tried to remain calm, but this place and the pain he associated with it was making him anxious. He could feel his heart begin to beat a little faster. His breaths becoming a little shallower.

By now, Lan Wangji realised that this was a dream. It was strange to be dreaming of a silent, empty nightless city, but it was a dream nonetheless. So he closed his eyes to begin some meditation—perhaps this would get him to wake up. He was just starting to feel his surroundings drift away from him when he heard it.

A devastated scream. Lan Wangji whipped his head to the battlefield. A battlefield that was now filled with people—cultivators that were fighting, cultivators that were dead and also.. Lan Wangji could see the protected circle that held three people. He knew that scream, and he could see the black robes and the red ribbon that it belonged to.

"Wei Ying," the whisper passed so fast over his lips it was more like a breath.

Immediately he tried to move, to get to him, but it was futile. His feet were not going anywhere, they were completely stuck to the ground.

His vision suddenly flashed and now he was lying down over the edge, blood dripping down his arm onto the hand that he was holding desperately.

"Lan Zhan, let go of me."

This wasn't real, this couldn't be real. Panic was surging through him now.

"Wei Ying, do not let go, I have you." Lan Wangji rushed, straining as he held on to him as tightly as he could.

His fingers were slipping through all the blood.

He didn't know why this was happening, but if Wei Wuxian was on the edge of death, with Lan Wangji's hand as the only thing stopping him from plummeting into it, he was going to use every last ounce of strength he had to keep him from it.

The sound of a sword unsheathing was sharp behind him. He knew who that was, what they would do next. He couldn't allow it.

"Jiang Wanyin, do not," he pleaded.

Time skipped, and by the time Lan Wangji realised the sword had already been plunged into the rock, his Wei Ying had already broken their bonded hands apart. Wei Ying fell.

"WEI YING!"

Horror filled him as he watched him, his beautiful Wei Ying, fall to the fiery pits below.

This cannot be happening, this cannot be real.

The black mountains and the glowing lava disappeared before his eyes and morphed into the Jingshi. He saw himself—his younger self—curled up on the bed, palms pressed into his face. He was crying- no, he was sobbing. He was screaming for Wei Ying.

How could you have let him fall.

Lan Wangji whipped his head around to where his own voice seethed at him.

How could you have failed him.

A voice came from the opposite direction.

You should have stood by him. You should have stayed with him. You should have protected him.

The voices were all around him, like hawks circling a rabbit, they surrounded him and trapped him. Lan Wangji fell to his knees under the guilt, the regrets, the anguish. Wei Ying was dead, he was dead. This was all his fault.

Wangji, you did all you could to help him.

No, his brother was wrong. He should have done more.

That boy was evil, he deserved the end that befell him.

Shufu was wrong, the elders were wrong, all of them were wrong.

Lan Wangji put his hands over his ears. The voices wouldn't stop. He needed them to stop.

Wei Ying is good. Wei Ying is kind. But Wei Ying is dead. He was never going to see him again. He would never see his smile again. He would never hear his laugh. The only person who had ever made him feel like he was truly worth something. He would never be able to tell him that he loved him.

"No," Lan Wangji sobbed. "Wei Ying, come back. Please come back, Wei Ying."

His younger-self continued to cry along with him. Their wailing filled the Jingshi like a haunting ghost song. The whole of Gusu would surely be able to hear them. Perhaps even the whole world.

He could just hear his Wei Ying's laughter, he could hear how his name sounded on his tongue. He could see him and he wanted so much to reach out. He wanted him in his arms. He needed him.

The last thing he heard was another desperate cry for Wei Ying.

And then he woke up.

Lan Wangji shot up out of bed with a long strangled gasp. He would have screamed if he had had any air inside of him to do so. His hands clutched his throat as he struggled to draw in breaths, but once he had sufficient air, he put all of it into the sobs that began to tear their way out of him.

Wei Wuxian, who had been beside him sleeping, immediately woke up. There couldn't have been anyone who would be able to sleep unknowingly through this.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian cried urgently while still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Lan Wangji was bent over himself with his elbows on his knees and had his palms pressed into his eyes, but upon hearing his name, sat up and turned to the voice.

"Lan Zhan, sweetheart," Wei Wuxian called delicately, voice laced with concern. He wanted to reach out to him but he thought he should wait to see what Lan Wangji did—he didn't know if his touch would be welcome.

"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji replaced his sobs with whimpers to be able to answer. He could hardly see anything in this dark, so he was unable to determine whether it was real or just another ghostly voice. "Is it—is it truly you?"

"Lan Zhan, it's me, your Wei Ying," he reached for a talisman blindly and sent it out so a few lanterns lit up, lighting the room and unveiling his worried face. "See? It's me, I'm here."

When he could see him, Lan Wangji was suddenly overcome with the need to be in his arms. Breaths were punched out of him and gasped back in—he was almost panting, as if he was unbearably parched in a desert, and Wei Ying was his oasis. He put one shaky hand down on the bed followed by a knee and then the other hand—desperately crawling his way up to him.

Wei Wuxian looked into Lan Wangji's scared eyes that were wide like moons, with the tear trails down his cheeks reflecting the moonlight from outside. He instantly saw what Lan Wangji needed, so he met him halfway across the bed and gathered him up in his arms. His heart broke when he heard and felt how hard his Lan Zhan broke down once he was in his arms. He had never seen him so upset.

Lan Wangji was sitting on his knees, forehead pressed to Wei Wuxian's chest and hands grasping the back of his robes so tight his fingers were losing feeling. Wei Wuxian moved to straddle Lan Wangji's thighs and pressed his knees into the sides of his hips. He cradled his husband's head to him, and tried to hold his trembling body together.

"I've got you sweetheart, you're safe," he stroked his hair soothingly. "I'm safe too, I'm here Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji's heart was rabbiting in his chest and he drew in gulps of air after each sob. He was wracked with them, he didn't think he could stop even if he tried. So much had happened in such a short space of time that it was difficult to comprehend. All he knew right now was that he had thought Wei Ying was dead but he's not, he's alive and he's in his arms and he never wants to leave and he loves him so dearly. Lan Wangji burrowed his face further into Wei Wuxian's robes, letting the cloth soak up all the tears. He felt so small; he wanted his husband to hold him until this fear died down, until he could think more clearly—he knew he would.

Lan Wangji made a broken sound when he finally heard his Wei Ying's heartbeat. It was a tsunami of relief that was so powerful it just made him cry even harder. Oh that beautiful sound—the sound of life, the sound that assured him that he was alive with every beat. He never wanted to imagine his heart still, body lifeless. He never wanted that to be a reality. He never wanted Wei Ying to leave him again.

"Wei Ying," he wept, "Please do not leave me. I c-cannot live without you."

Wei Wuxian brought a hand up to his own face to wipe at the tears that started dropping down onto Lan Wangji's head. He felt so helpless, he had never seen his husband so broken, he didn't know what to do. He sounded like he was in agony and he didn't know how to stop him from hurting. He knew that Lan Wangji must've had a nightmare about him dying for him to be this upset and he hated the fact that that was still haunting him. He had only been witness to Lan Wangji's nightmares twice or maybe three times over the years, but none of them had been as bad as this. This one was terrifying in how painful it was.

Is this what Lan Zhan was like after he had died? Was he alone every single time? Did he cry and scream his heart out for him for years, with no one ever being there to hold him through it?

Wei Wuxian closed his eyes and silently cried into his Lan Zhan's soft hair. He tightened his embrace around him, to match the strength that Lan Wangji was grasping his robes with. He knew that he couldn't heal the hurt, but he would hold him here forever, if he could.

"I'm never going to leave you, Lan Zhan, never ever again," he whispered wetly.

The stars had long since begun to blink out of the nightsky by the time Lan Wangji's crying had mostly subsided. Wei Wuxian had let him cry as much as he had needed to, knowing it was better to have him get it all out than to have tried to calm him down and cause him to pent it all up. Lan Wangji was used to doing that after all, and Wei Wuxian didn't want him to feel like he had to anymore. Not with him. He was always safe with him.

Even the clouds were encouraged to let their waters flow, so Wei Wuxian gave that same silent reassurance to him.

Lan Wangji sniffled against him now, going through weak emotional hiccups. Whenever the occasional whimper escaped him, Wei Wuxian would soothe them away with kisses to his head or with slow circles drawn over his back. He rocked him gently from side to side, making sure to keep moving so that Lan Wangji would feel him, and know that he was really there, that he was really alive. Touch made all the difference, Wei Wuxian knew that especially.

It was late into the night now, it must be nearing yin shi he thought. He could feel the fatigue behind his eyes and the stiffness in his bones. Many parts of his body ached now after holding such a position for so long, but nothing ached as much as his heart did. Seeing his Lan Zhan so broken was nothing short of devastating. The urge to protect him from any more pain was so fierce, Wei Wuxian felt like he could stand against the world to pursue it.

Wei Wuxian lifted his hands to Lan Wangji's head so he could card through his hair gently. Now that he was tremendously calmer, he wanted to lay him down and get him to fall asleep again.

"Lan Zhan," he whispered into the hush. "I'm gonna lay us down, okay? I'm gonna move now."

Wei Wuxian was careful and unhurried in his movements, ensuring that Lan Wangji was aware of what he was doing and that he didn't feel like he was going to suddenly run away from him. He first reached behind himself to unfurl Lan Wangji's hands from their clutch on his robes—they had lost most of their strength, so he only had to tug lightly at them. They shook in his hands so he started to rub feeling back into them. They must hurt from being curled up for so long.

After he had pressed a kiss to each knuckle, he lifted Lan Wangji's head off of his chest and onto his shoulder. Lan Wangji was so pliant in his arms, Wei Wuxian wondered if he had already fallen asleep. With one hand supporting the back of Lan Wangji's head, he shuffled both of them back towards the pillows, and when he reached his, he lowered himself down and rested his head on it. Feeling the plushness of the bed and the pillow underneath him made sleep start to pull at him—he suddenly felt so tired.

He turned onto his side and held Lan Wangji's face in his palms, drawing tiny caressing circles onto his cheeks. His face was so wet with tears and Wei Wuxian could feel where his robes were soaked with them. Never had he seen his Lan Zhan cry so much, but tonight he must have shed an entire ocean's worth. He leant down and brushed kisses over his eyelids—they would probably be stinging now from all of the tears—and it was then that Lan Wangji cautiously opened his eyes.

Wei Wuxian almost wanted to cry when he saw them. His golden eyes looked so sad, so vulnerable, so frightened. Lan Wangji looked exhausted—he seemed wrung out like a limp rag squeezed of all it's water. The tip of his nose was red and it twitched as he sniveled weakly a few times.

"Hey there, Lan Zhan," he said as tenderly as his thumbs were rubbing back and forth over his cheeks. "Do you wanna go to sleep? Do you want me to talk to you about something? What do you need sweetheart?"

Whatever Lan Zhan needed, he was prepared to give it in a heartbeat.

"Afraid," Lan Wangji whispered. It was so quiet, and yet so loud in the way it hit Wei Wuxian.

"Of what sweetheart?" I'm here, you don't need to be scared anymore. I'll stay with you until you feel safe. I'll never leave you.

Lan Wangji's gaze flitted down to his hands. "Sleeping," he confessed.

"Oh Lan Zhan," he tucked Lan Wangji's head under his chin and scritched soothingly behind his ears. "I'll be right here next to you all night, I won't leave. If you have another nightmare then we'll- we'll get through it, together."

He desperately hoped that his Lan Zhan wouldn't have to endure another one. It was clearly torture to him, they made him so scared. He wished he could shield him from them, he wanted them to leave Lan Zhan alone. He had already suffered so many years without his Wei Ying, now that he had him back, he didn't need to suffer anymore. It was so unfair. It was so cruel.

"They hurt, Wei Ying," his voice cracked. Wei Wuxian's heart cracked along with it. Lan Wangji took a weak hold of the front of his black robes and pressed his face into the silk fabric.

He couldn't watch his Wei Ying die again. He couldn't watch him slip from his hand and fall to his death over and over again. He had replayed those scenes so many times in his head already, he was so tired. Would they come back to torment him? Were the years of grieving not enough for them?

"I know sweetheart," Wei Wuxian's voice was becoming thick with emotion again. "I know they do."

Wei Wuxian internally cursed himself. He was a rather well-known cultivator, notorious for hunting down troubling spirits and terrifying beasts, always fixing what had been broken and ridding people of their troubles. Yet he was completely useless against Lan Wangji's own demons. How was it that he could face any kind of phantom and know exactly what to do, but when faced with these monsters who were tearing their way through his Lan Zhan's mind, he was completely lost. Endlessly repeating quiet comforts to Lan Wangji and enveloping him, keeping him close, made him feel restless. Like he wasn't doing enough. As if the demons were laughing right in front of him, bearing their necks and knowing he wouldn't take the chance to smite them. If only he could just reach out and turn them into dust. He wished he could at least assure Lan Wangji that they wouldn't come back, but he didn't know if that was true.

He also didn't know how much these little things meant to Lan Wangji. There had been many nights where Lan Wangji was alone in his pain, with no one there to help him. If his brother had offered, he would have just turned him away. He wasn't allowed to be vulnerable in front of others, anyway. All Lan Wangji had wanted was his Wei Ying, no one else. So to have Wei Wuxian with him here now, holding him while he cried, telling him that they were safe, letting him listen to his heart beat—it meant everything to him.

Wei Wuxian laced his right hand with Lan Wangji's left, allowing it to become a tether, an assurance that he wasn't going to leave. As the first distant chirps of the birds waking up made their way to the Jingshi, Wei Wuxian knew it was time for them to go to sleep.

"I'm here, Lan Zhan. You're safe, I'm safe," he tucked a loose hair behind Lan Wangji's ear. "Sleep now, just sleep sweetheart."

When he began to hum a melody ever so delicately, he felt his Lan Zhan go completely mellow. It was their song, the most dulcet of tunes, filled with adoration and warmth. It whispered safety over them both, like the sweetest lullaby. Together with the soft thrumming of Wei Wuxian's heart against him, Lan Wangji was easily lulled to sleep.

Sunlight crept over Gusu as morning approached, the sun rays replacing the moon's that had showered through the Jingshi's windows. The chirping and chiming of coloured wings floated through the air—a most pleasant tune it was, the song of dawn, acting as the official morning alarm of the Lan Sect.

Wei Wuxian however, could not indulge in this sweet song today.

A loud knock on the door awoke Wei Wuxian from his slumber. He drew a wide yawn and rubbed his bleary eyes as he returned from the land of dreams. Once he had successfully rubbed away his fuzzy vision, he assessed his situation: There was someone knocking on the Jingshi door, but he and Lan Wangji were still in bed, in their night robes. It was early, definitely far too early for himself to be awake at, but the sort of early that Lan Zhan would normally be up and dressed at. Clearly, if someone was knocking on their door that meant that Cloud Recesses was alive and thriving, but Lan Wangji was fast asleep.

In fact, Lan Wangji had seized Wei Wuxian's body in such a way while he slept that could only be described as clinging to him: Lan Wangji's arms were locked around his waist, his legs were entwined with his, and his head had made a pillow out of the right side of his poor, wounded stomach.

Essentially, Wei Wuxian was trapped by his sleeping husband.

Another determined rap on the door came and Wei Wuxian hurriedly flipped through his thoughts for a solution to this dilemma. He was really hoping that the knocker bore unimportant news and would simply give up.

"Wei Wuxian, it is urgent!" the knocker said in a raised, but not too loud, voice. After all, shouting was prohibited in the Cloud Recesses and the man certainly could not break that rule right outside of The Magnificent Hanguang-Jun's residence.

"I will wait outside for you!" the knocker persisted.

Wei Wuxian resisted the immediate urge to roll his eyes. Why did something urgent have to happen today!

He didn't want to shout his acknowledgement of the man in fear of waking up Lan Wangji, who was clearly exhausted after the night they had had as he was undisturbed from all the noise and had not risen robotically at mao shi. They had barely gotten three hours of sleep and he was feeling it.

Wei Wuxian decided to first peel off the arm that fiercely grappled his waist and he set it down slowly onto the bed. He then attempted to untwine their legs, which turned out to be a lot easier than it had looked. With every movement he tensed up as he really didn't want to wake his husband if he could help it—he needed all the rest he could get.

With his legs finally free, he peered down to look at his stomach where Lan Wangji had apparently found a very comfortable spot for his head. He couldn't stop the fond smile that tugged at the corners of his lips and a small, loving laugh escaped them.

Lan Zhan looks so beautiful when he's asleep.

With his unperturbed expression, his flawlessly smooth skin, his silky black hair and his pure white night robes, Lan Wangji resembled nothing short of a sleeping prince. Though his face bore no particular emotion, his lips were scrunched into a very tiny pout that made it look like he had found treasure and stubbornly refused to let go of it.

Wei Wuxian started to slowly trace a finger around his sleeping prince's face, over his lips, across his jawline. He stroked his cheek delicately with the side of his index finger and revelled in the smoothness likened to that of a pearl stone. He then gently lifted the other's head off of his stomach and onto his own pillow, before leaving a parting kiss to his forehead. Then he quietly swung his own legs over the bed—in a very precise movement so as to not hurt his stomach in the process—and tucked his husband in again.

Now to see about that knocker.

Wei Wuxian approached the slides that were towards the end of the room, picking up a white outer robe and draping it over himself along the way. He slipped on some boots (which were most definitely not his, as they were spotlessly clean) and opened the door a crack to peer outside.

The cold morning air bit at his skin as he exposed his head to its sharp teeth, causing him to shudder and flinch partly back inside. He already longed to be back in bed, snuggled under the covers with Lan Wangji as his personal heater. Pulling the robe tighter around his body, he stepped outside and slid the doors shut behind him.

A man dressed in blue cloud patterns stood tall at the end of the jingshi's porch, looking out and admiring the foliage and flowers. He clutched a long, white sword to his right side, the silver patterns glinting in the sunlight. Seeing the man's signature robes, Wei Wuxian could tell immediately that the man was in fact, Lan Xichen. He turned around when he heard Wei Wuxian opening the doors and walked over to him in an earnest manner.

"Wuxian," Lan Xichen bowed politely, "I apologise for disturbing you but might you know where Wangji is? I have not seen him."

"Ah don't worry, Lan Zhan is still asleep," Wei Wuxian replied mid-yawn after returning the courtesy. "What's happened?"

Lan Xichen's eyebrows raised slightly when the other revealed that Lan Wangji was in fact, oversleeping. He couldn't remember there ever being a time when his younger brother had failed to be up at mao shi. He also couldn't remember there ever being a time when Wei Wuxian was awake before his husband.

Noticing the man's surprised expression, Wei Wuxian elaborated: "We had a.." he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "..a long night."

He absolutely knew what that vagueness seemed to imply, but he didn't think it was fair to tell Lan Xichen about what actually had happened last night before talking about it with Lan Wangji first.

"And further information on that matter is not needed," Lan Xichen put in quickly, knowing all too well of Wei Wuxian's shamelessness and not wanting to hear anymore of it, ever.

Wei Wuxian hid an amused smile behind pursed lips. Perhaps it was more unfair to Lan Wangji to allow his brother to believe that he was exhausted from a particularly passionate night, and not from the clutches of a nightmare.

Lan Xichen cleared his throat. "Anyhow, an urgent message has been relayed. Sect leader Ouyang has requested mine and Wangji's presence to help capture an evil being that has been tormenting the sect for a few days. A number of their cultivators have been killed in different ways every night for a week and although they've tried to capture the being themselves, they have been unsuccessful. Sect Leader Jiang sent some disciples there to help find and slay the being responsible, however they were unable to decipher what exactly has been happening there," Lan Xichen inhaled and looked like he was trying not to roll his eyes at this next part: "..and so, Sect Leader Ouyang has insisted that Wangji and I visit at once to sort this problem."

Well, the sect leader certainly hadn't misplaced his confidence. However, Wei Wuxian would make sure to add him to the growing list of cultivators that had dumped their problems onto the two Jades without giving them a say.

Wei Wuxian had listened attentively to what Lan Xichen had said and felt a bubbling eagerness inside of him. They hadn't been out on an excitingly mysterious case in a long while, so although it was of course a terrible situation for the sect, he was excited for a new mystery to solve.

Seeing the sparkle of adventure in Wei Wuxian's eyes, Lan Xichen smiled and dipped his head sympathetically. "Wuxian, I must remind you that you should still be recovering from your injury. It would be unwise to follow Wangji and I."

Wei Wuxian pouted. "But I'm perfectly fine, look!" he attempted to convince him by hovering a hand over his side and then very lightly tapping it. Lan Xichen nearly laughed. Wei Wuxian was obviously still in pain and this failed attempt of convincing him otherwise was utterly dreadful.

The last time something interesting had happened, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian had gone out on an ordinary night hunt in one of the neighbouring villages and had been ambushed by a trio of snow leopards which had ended with Wei Wuxian becoming one of their chew toys for a destructible 5 seconds. His side had been bitten into and his stomach ferociously clawed at which had made it quite a serious injury with the deep cuts and puncture wounds. The bite was in the exact place where Jin Ling had once run his sword through his stomach and so, because of the already weakened tissue combined with Wei Wuxian's less-as-strong body, it was bound to take even longer to heal.

Naturally, Lan Wangji had been beside himself with worry and had insisted on him doing absolutely nothing; he was to only lie down and rest. He must have asked their head physician to check him over again at least a dozen times, making absolutely sure that his Wei Ying was going to recover and not be forever hindered by this injury. The physician had advised him to not go on night hunts or adventures of any sort for at least a month, which included any kind of vigorous activity, much to Wei Wuxian's dismay. He swore to his husband that he would comply with these 'rules' as Lan Wangji liked to call them, but found his new rest-only-life far too boring. He was ready for an outing.

"Wuxian, it has hardly been a week, you have not finished recovering," Lan Xichen looked apologetic, "and I doubt Wangji would let you break those rules."

The curiosity disappeared from Wei Wuxian's face, his expression changing from that of a let down child to one filled with concern. Lan Zhan.. If I can't go with him, will he be alright without me?

Lan Xichen inclined his head as he analysed the other's worried expression.

"How long will you be gone for?" Wei Wuxian blurted suddenly.

"It is hard to say, given the vague details of the being. Identifying the being and killing it may be easier than we have been led to believe, and we should stay with the sect for an extra day at least, to ensure the problem does not reoccur," he hummed in thought. "Whilst we are in the area, we should make do to visit the minor sects in TanZhou and ChongYang, as they have reported some hauntings and the like. So I expect we will be gone for a few days, at most, perhaps six days. Wangji and I must leave as soon as his morning class is over, if we are to get to Baling before nightfall."

Wei Wuxian chewed at his lip as his thoughts raced. Six days.. that's too long, Lan Zhan will surely start to fret. He was so scared last night, he won't want to leave me for that long-

"Wuxian, is there something troubling you?" Lan Xichen inquired, interrupting the other's thoughts. Wei Wuxian's expression had changed to a rather panic-stricken one and it was starting to unsettle him.

"Aren't there any other cultivators that could go with you instead of Lan Zhan?" He asked, perhaps a little too rushed.

"Not of Wangji's level, which would be needed in this case to alleviate Sect Leader Ouyang of his troubles permanently. Wuxian, is my brother unwell?"

Uneasiness started to creep over Lan Xichen's face as he looked to the circular window of the Jingshi, his elder brother protectiveness kicking in. After all, why was his brother sleeping through Mao-Shi? Late nights had never resulted in him sleeping in. Why did he not hear him knocking and answer the door? He never slept so deeply. Wangji knew that he was to give an early lecture, and usually by this time he would have eaten, greeted both him and Shufu and been in the hall preparing his lesson. This was extremely unlike him.

"No.. not unwell, Lan Zhan just- he was really.." he hesitated before starting again. "Last night, he had a-"

"WEI YING!"

A desperate shout rattled through the Jingshi and echoed out through the windows, causing both men to whirl around in a fright. They immediately rushed towards the doors, towards that fierce cry that sent ripples of anxiety through their chests.

"WEI YING!"

Wei Wuxian flung the doors open, kicking off his boots as he ran to Lan Wangji who was sitting up in bed grasping the cold sheets where his Wei Ying should have been. Fear was etched into every corner of his face: his eyes were wide and panicked, his mouth was trembling, his expression was that of anguish. He breathed unevenly, some breaths short and sharp, others long and drawn out as his fear constricted his throat like a murderous snake.

"Lan Zhan, I'm here!" Wei Wuxian said frantically as he leapt onto the bed and threw his arms around the other. "Here, I'm right here."

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan gasped out in relief at the sight of him. He pressed his ear against his husband's heart—searching, listening—for that beating, for that sound that phased out all of his fears.

"Wangji-" Lan Xichen went speechless.

Wei Wuxian peered over his shoulder to look at Lan Xichen while holding a very frightened Wangji in his arms. He gave a small shake of his head and looked at him with eyes that said "not now". He knew that Lan Wangji was likely to feel even more panicked if his brother was here to see him vulnerable like this too, and Wei Wuxian didn't want that.

Understanding, Lan Xichen softened his voice. "I will.. take Wangji's morning lecture. Come and find me after it commences." He hesitated before saying, "I will have breakfast be sent to you."

Wei Wuxian smiled weakly in thanks and watched Lan Xichen take a few reluctant steps back before turning around and walking out the Jingshi.

Wei Wuxian snapped his attention back to his husband. Lan Wangji's shallow breaths had turned into longer gasps that were surely sending his head in a spin. Tears had welled up in his eyes and started drifting down his cheeks, falling down onto his shaking hands. His fingers curled so that his nails were creating moons on his palms, as if he was desperately clinging onto the last threads that were keeping him from breaking down completely.

"Lan Zhan, breathe, just breathe. Take a deep breath for me like this one," Wei Wuxian said gently before taking in an audible deep breath. He took another and another, getting his husband to follow along. Lan Wangji looked up into his Wei Ying's silver eyes, trying to anchor himself to the stars that lay there. He matched his breaths with the ones he could now hear, the ones he could feel with every rise and fall of his husband's chest. His breathing gradually evened out as he calmed down and he sunk his head further into Wei Wuxian's chest as the other cradled him close.

"That's it.. good boy, you're safe, I'm safe. I'm right here, I'm alive, I'm yours Lan Zhan," he comforted as he stroked through Lan Wangji's hair.

A muffled sob escaped Lan Wangji's lips, prompting Wei Wuxian to take his face in his hands and thumb away the tears. "Another nightmare?"

"Mn," Lan Wangji closed his eyes and swallowed roughly. "Wei Ying.. was not here when I woke up," Lan Wangji stuttered out, his hands continuing to vibrate in fear.

Wei Wuxian took the other's trembling hands in his, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles slowly, soothingly. "Lan Zhan.." his eyes saddened. "Your brother came and I didn't want to wake you, you were so tired from last night."

Lan Wangji shivered and made an inquisitive noise.

"Shhh, I'll tell you later. Aiyah, you're cold Lan Zhan." He reached behind himself to grab a fluffy, white blanket with Lan Wangji leaning against his chest as he did. "There," he said as he wrapped the blanket around his husband's shoulders, "I can't have my bunny being cold." He returned his arms around his now fluffy Lan Zhan. "Better?" he whispered.

Lan Wangji hummed thoughtfully before shrugging the blanket off of himself and shuffling to the head of the bed. Wei Wuxian looked at him with a peculiar expression, making a confused sound as he tipped his head slightly sideways. He watched as his husband arranged the soft, feathery pillows in a pillow-heaven sort of way, his head sinking into the plushness when he lay down. Lan Wangji shimmied himself under the covers and then reached for Wei Wuxian's hand, tugging him to lie down next to him. They were surrounded by little clouds and he pulled the blanket over their heads so they were in a fluffy cave of warmth. Lan Wangji leaned closer to the other and kissed his nose lightly.

"Better," he whispered.

Wei Wuxian giggled when his nose was tickled by the delicate kiss from the other's soft lips. He could be so very cute sometimes.

Taking Lan Wangji's hands he pressed a kiss to his knuckles, the back of his hand, trailing up his exposed arm towards his shoulder. He kissed the side of his cheek, the center of his forehead, the tip of his nose, teasing his way around his lips. A particular kiss pressed onto the corner of his mouth made Lan Wangji's lips curve up ever so slightly into a small smile. He closed his eyes and lay still, allowing his Wei Ying to lavish him in tender, loving kisses.

"Lan Zhan, I love you more than anything in this world."

Wei Wuxian leaned in and claimed the other's lips, their mouths dancing to the rhythm of desire and love. He ruffled a hand through the back of Lan Wangji's hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss, deeper into the passion that was slowly consuming them. Lan Wangji brought a hand up to his cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb. He nibbled at the other's lips fervently, earning a few short gasps from him. Time seemed to stand still as they became lost in each other, entangled in their hearts' wanting for more. They kissed one another as if their lips could save the other's life, ceasing to part until the calling for air clawed at Wei Wuxian's lungs. He lent his forehead against the other's to catch his breath, panting slightly like he had just run around a maze of love.

"I too, love Wei Ying more than anything," Lan Wangji whispered against his husband's lips.

To that, Wei Wuxian smiled. There was so much love radiating between them, as if it was in the very air they breathed. They basked in it for a while with their temples still touching until Wei Wuxian spoke again.

"Lan Zhan," he said in a soft voice.

Lan Wangji's eyes fluttered open.

"Do you feel better? Do you.. want to talk about it? We don't have to if you don't want to, we can just lay here and cuddle—but it might be good to talk about it instead of keeping it to yourself. Expressing emotions and all that you know," he rambled sweetly, taking Lan Wangji's hands in his and fiddling with them.

Lan Wangji smiled tenderly at him. His husband took such good care of him. "Wei Ying.. thank you. I do feel better, now."

"Ah Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian pressed a kiss to his cupid's bow. "No thank you's or sorry's between us, remember?"

"Mn."

Lan Wangji was still holding back all of his emotions. He was becoming like a collapsing wooden dam against a torrent of water—it surely wouldn't be long before he broke against the weight of it. Still, stubborn as he was, he was going to push back against them for as long as he could muster. He didn't want to drown his husband in the buckets full of fears he was lugging around with him. Wei Ying didn't deserve that. He didn't need to be constantly reminded of his own death, and the other's that were lost with it. That wasn't fair to him. Lan Wangji just needed to stuff these fears back inside of himself and continue on as normal, like he always did.

Wei Wuxian brought a hand to the back of Lan Wangji's head, gingerly scratching his scalp in a way that melted every fibre in his body.

He was disappointed in himself that he didn't get Lan Wangji to open up to him. Something was obviously being pent up inside of him that was powerful enough to give him two nightmares in a row about him dying. They were both very good at hiding their true feelings; they were both inclined to keep them to themselves and although they had been working on it diligently, they never pushed too hard. They still respected those walls built around each other's hearts. After all, they had been built for a reason, and it was gentle knocks that were going to make them eventually fall away for good, instead of forcefully breaking them down. So Wei Wuxian would be patient, he would wait until Lan Wangji was ready to talk to him; and whenever that may be, he would be there to listen to him and to comfort him.

However it was times like these that Wei Wuxian wished his husband would tell him everything that was on his mind, everything that he was feeling. He felt sad that they still didn't feel the need to confess their worries and their fears—their feelings—to each other. That they would bottle them all up until they themselves exploded with the pressure. Wei Wuxian knew though that, in time, they would get better at being vulnerable and letting the other in. They would grow together.

Lan Wangji burrowed his head into the crevice where Wei Wuxian's collarbone met his shoulder. He was feeling embarrassed, foolish even, for being so dramatic.

"Wei Ying was not here when I woke up so.. I thought it was real. I did not mean to scream," he said in a small voice.

"Lan Zhan, it's alright. You don't have to feel bad about it—about any of this—it's not your fault." Wei Wuxian gently moved Lan Wangji's head off of his shoulder and back onto one of the fluffy clouds. The other still had his eyes tightly shut, forbidding them to spill any more water. Wei Wuxian cupped his cheek and rubbed his thumb delicately over his eyelid, pleading for them to open so he could gaze into their golden haze again.

"There they are," Wei Wuxian purred as his husband revealed his glowing eyes. "My beautiful Lan Zhan and his golden eyes," he smiled and brushed a kiss over his cheek. "You're my everything, Lan Zhan, you know that don't you?"

Lan Wangji's widened a fraction and then the glinting light in them turned into sparkling pools that overflowed down his cheeks. Wei Ying was so gentle, so sweet, so kind. There wasn't a moment when Lan Wangji felt anything less than utterly adored by him.

"Aiyahhh, Lan Zhan," he promptly dabbed the tears from his face. "Your cheeks get all puffy when you cry so I'll just have to eat them!" He giggled.

Lan Wangji blinked. "Wei Ying."

"I will, Lan Zhan! I'll eat you all up and then the Magnificent Hanguang-Jun will be no more."

"Impossible."

"Lan Zhaaan, nothing is impossible! I'll definitely find a way," he teased.

Lan Wangji's lips lifted into a small, heartfelt smile, with just the right touch of shyness that it sent shimmering warmth through Wei Wuxian. He loved his precious smiles, he treasured them. They would reach places even the sun couldn't and they brightened his very soul. They were such tiny lilting upturns, but they meant absolutely everything to Wei Wuxian.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji said as his eyes remained fixated on him.

"Mmm, Lan Zhan?"

"I love you. I will always love my Wei Ying."

Before Wei Wuxian could even begin to move his lips in response, they were stolen by the other in a slow but soft kiss, comforting in ways that could never be quite equaled. His heart fluttered in his chest as every thought seemed to fly away in this delicate butterfly of a kiss.

With the morning in full song, the two decided that it was finally time to get dressed and venture off to find Lan Xichen—which they only did after having a bountiful breakfast that arrived in due course as sent by the First Jade. Lan Wangji made sure to dress himself and his husband in the seemingly endless amount of winter robe layers. They were both thankful for this as they stepped out through the Jingshi door and were immediately met with a blisteringly cold winter wind that seemed to blow straight through them. Wei Wuxian swore that if his husband had not insisted on turning the both of them into winter bears, then he would have definitely frozen to death on the spot!

They walked down the path hand in hand, admiring all of the winter beauty. The clouds had continued to endow an abundance of snow over Cloud Recessess, making it equal to a white fairytail with it's angel carpet's of velvety snow and icicles that hung down from branches, reflecting the sunlight. It was always completely magical. Wei Wuxian started to skip and swing their arms as he got excited about something, chattering away, with Lan Wangji watching and listening to him lovingly.

Before they reached the pavilion, Wei Wuxian informed Lan Wangji of what was happening with the Ouyang Sect, conveniently leaving out the fact that he was not allowed to go with them. He knew that Lan Wangji would normally agree to an injured Wei Wuxian not joining him on a night hunt, but now that he was being plagued by nightmares, the reasoning and the fear would clash. Lan Wangji will know that the best thing to do will be to leave Wei Wuxian behind, but his fear will be gnawing at him to stay, or to bring his husband with him.

As they approached the lecture hall, junior disciples began to file out through the doors, some stopping to bow politely towards the pair, while others rushed off—in a calm and collected manner of course—to their next class. One junior seeming to hold the stars in his eyes came bounding up to them eagerly with a bright smile.

"Wei-qianbei! Hanguang-Jun! I finally won a sparring match against a group of senior disciples!" Lan Sizhui exclaimed.

"Really?" Wei Wuxian gasped, "My little A-Yuan! Look at you, so clever, so smart," he ruffled the boy's hair. "Lan Zhan, this boy is growing up too fast," he lay his head on Lan Wangji's shoulder and pouted.

Lan Wangji looked fondly at him before turning back to Lan Sizhui with a barely concealed smile. "I am proud of you, A-Yuan."

Lan Sizhui's smile couldn't grow any wider; to have The Hanguang-Jun proud of you was truly, an honour of the highest degree. And he was smiling at him! Nothing could stop him from wrapping an arm around both of his parents.

Wei Wuxian giggled. "A-Yuan, if you want to keep improving you better not be late for your next class, isn't old man Lan teaching it? He'll definitely make you do those awful handstand punishments if you're late."

"Oh you're right, Wei-qianbei!" He pulled away but hesitated to continue forward. "Hanguang-Jun, are you.. feeling better now? Zewu Jun said you were not feeling well."

Lan Wangji looked at Wei Wuxian who was looking back at him with soft eyes. "Mn, better. Thank you," he confirmed as Wei Wuxian leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"That's good, I was worried," his eyes flitted to the ground and he blushed at the show of affection. "I should get to class, I'll see you later!" He gave a quick bow.

"Bye bye!" Wei Wuxian waved before turning back to his husband and sighing with pride.

"Ahhh Lan Zhan, he's so good. You raised him so well."

"We raised him well," Lan Wangji corrected.

"Well you raised him for longer," he mumbled.

Lan Wangji opened his mouth in protest but Wei Wuxian interrupted before he could,  "Shall we go in?"

Lan Wangji answered with a nod.

Lan Xichen sat peacefully by a desk sorting and marking papers as the two walked in. He looked up as he heard the doors close and smiled when he saw them.

"Wangji, Wei Wuxian," he rose from his mat on the floor to greet them.

"Xiong-Zhang, thank you for taking my class. I hope it was not a disposition to you," Lan Wangji said as the pair bowed together.

"Of course Wangji, it was no trouble,"

he turned to Wei Wuxian, "Has Wuxian informed Wangji of what has happened?"

Wei Wuxian nodded, "Lan Zhan is all up to date!"

"When do we leave?" Lan Wangji inquired.

"As soon as possible. I told Wuxian this morning that you and I would need to leave right after the class if we are to get there before nightfall. Baling is quite far."

Lan Wangji blinked and inclined his head ever so slightly. "You.. and I?"

Wei Wuxian grimaced and started to worry his lip with his teeth.

"Wuxian, you did not tell Wangji you were to stay here while we left?" Lan Xichen raised an eyebrow at him.

Wei Wuxian only laughed nervously in response.

"I will not leave Wei Ying."

They both turned to look at Lan Wangji sheepishly.

"Wangji, it was only two days ago that Wuxian was released from the infirmary after the infection. He needs to stay here and rest, it would be unwise for him to come with us."

Lan Wangji's face was firm, unyielding. "I will not leave Wei Ying," he persisted.

"Wangji, you know the doctors have said for Wuxian to not take part in anything strenuous as it will hinder his recovery," he said in a gentle and persuading way, "and we are both needed in Baling to help the sects."

Lan Wangji remained firm in his standing. Wei Wuxian could see that Lan Wangji knew all of this: that he realised that Wei Wuxian should not go with them for the sake of his health and that he was needed in Baling. Wei Wuxian could see that Lan Wangji was having an internal battle with himself on what he knew was the right thing to do, versus the wanting—the needing—to stay close to his husband. He knew this would happen.

Wei Wuxian took Lan Wangji's hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Lan Zhan, it's okay, you can go," he gave a small smile. "You go save the sect like the hero you are while I stay and rest and be bored. Then when you come back you can tell me all the exciting things that happened."

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji's eyes saddened and he pressed his forehead into the other's shoulder while bringing their joined hands to his heart.

He understood that he had to go on this mission, it was his duty; he did want to answer the call of help from the Ouyang Sect, of course, but leaving his Wei Ying after the ordeal he had gone through, what they had both gone through, seemed much too difficult. He wanted to stay where he could see him, be with him. He wanted to stay where Wei Ying's life was so obvious like in the form of spices hidden in a little box under the bed, his spare red ribbons strewn all over the Jingshi and his many scrolls of his scribbled ideas and talismans sprawled across the desk. He wanted to have Wei Ying in his arms while he slept, to feel the rise and fall of his chest, to know with every breath that he was alive and that he was his, that they were each other's. He wanted to stay where he could hear his Wei Ying talk endlessly about anything, where he could hear him laugh in his coucophanus, joyous way and sing his name, "Lan Zhan!" with that beautiful smile.

He wanted to stay with his Wei Ying.

"Lan Zhan, it's alright, you'll be alright," he stroked through his hair tenderly. "You'll be back soon, and I'll still be here."

Wei Wuxian thought for a second that he felt Lan Wangji shake his head ever so slightly against him, but it was so fast he didn't have time to register it.

"You should get your things together now, you'll be off soon, hm?" Wei Wuxian asked softly.

A barely audible sigh came from Lan Wangji as he lifted his head to meet the other's eyes. "Mn, I will not be long."

"I'll wait here for you," Wei Wuxian replied.

Lan Wangji leaned in and gave the other a swift kiss before turning and walking out.

Wei Wuxian stared at the doors after Lan Wangji shut them, getting lost in his thoughts. A few silent minutes passed before a rustle of paper came from behind him. "Wuxian, I wonder if you would tell me what happened with Wangji this morning," Lan Xichen asked him from his place on the floor to which he had returned a long while ago.

"Oh, yeah.. about that," he approached the other's desk and twiddled his thumbs as he sat down. He took a deep breath.

"Lan Zhan had a nightmare last night. About.. about me dying back then. He was really upset—terrified even. I've never seen him like that before," he stopped and stared at the floor, noticing light scratches marked into the wooden planks left by some unruly juniors. He could make a pretty good guess as to who made the most of them.

"He had another one this morning, while I was talking with you. So.. that's why he's unwilling to leave me behind. More than usual anyway."

Lan Xichen hummed thoughtfully. "So that's why he was so adamant."

"I was thinking that they—the nightmares—were probably caused from when the infection got kinda bad," Wei Wuxian laid a careful hand over his side. "I know Lan Zhan must've worried a lot."

In the midst of an infection after his injury, Wei Wuxian had been barely aware of what was happening around him as he was lost in countless fever dreams. He could remember one night when his mind felt less mushy that he thought he heard someone crying by his bedside, but he wasn't sure if that had been real or if it was his fever conjuring up things.

Lan Xichen knew more than him about just how worried Lan Wangji had been. The initial injury had already been distressing enough, so an infection on top of it all had just made the situation look even more dire. The head physician, Lan Yifei, had done all she could and yet Wei Wuxian had remained writhing throughout the night.

"I do not think Lan Yifei knew for certain if you would have gotten through the infection," Lan Xichen divulged quietly.

"Ah?" Wei Wuxian looked up at him sharply.

"Yifei never explicitly stated that to him, but she had not said otherwise, so Wangji knew. He never once left your bedside."

Wei Wuxian's heart clenched. Although he had felt like he was dying, he didn't think that his body was actually trying it's hardest to not be taken out by a petty infection, of all things. He hadn't known that him dying had been.. a possibility.

Lan Zhan must have been so scared.

"I am assuming Wangji has not confided in you about it all?" Lan Xichen asked.

Wei Wuxian shook his head slowly. "No, he.. he said nothing about how bad it had been. Lan Zhan's been so focused on getting me to recover properly, I thought he was—I thought he was fine."

Lan Zhan must've been holding all those fierce emotions back, silencing the incessant voices of regret and forcing his fears down inside himself to be able to keep himself free of night terrors for the last few days.

But what if.. what if Lan Zhan had been having nightmares all week while Wei Wuxian was fever ridden. What if Lan Zhan had cried and shaken by his bedside every night, waiting for him to wake up—hoping he would wake up—just wanting to be held by him. Wei Wuxian couldn't bear the thought. He doesn't want Lan Zhan to leave, he wants him to stay with him.

Please stay, Lan Zhan.

Lan Xichen gave Wei Wuxian his softest smile as he seemed to read his thoughts. "Do not beat yourself up, Wangji is good at hiding his feelings, after all."

This didn't help Wei Wuxian feel any better. Wei Wuxian should have seen through it. He should've known how scared his husband must have been. He should've held him close as soon as he was over the infection and told him that he wasn't going anywhere. He should've known. He should've realised.

"I wish you two weren't going away, I need to.. I need to talk to Lan Zhan." He just wanted to sit Lan Zhan down and get him to tell him everything he was feeling and make it all right again. His husband was hurting, and Wei Wuxian didn't want that. He hated that he was hurting. Lan Zhan didn't deserve that at all. Not after all the care he gave Wei Wuxian, and the countless nights he stayed up with him in the infirmary. Not after all the tears he had shed over him.

Why was I so careless? Why am I not strong enough?

Wei Wuxian had made him worry, had made him hurt, had given him all these nightmares. Why couldn't he stop being such a burden to everyone? Even to his own perfect, loving husband?

He met Lan Xichen's gaze with desperate eyes. "Promise me you'll take care of Lan Zhan? I'm afraid that he could have another nightmare and I don't want him to be alone when he gets that scared."

Lan Xichen agreed immediately. "I have always looked after my little brother, this time will be no different, rest assured. If it will help ease your mind, I can get Wangji and I a shared room at the Inn. I will be right next to him if he needs me, then."

"Yes," Wei Wuxian said instantly, "Please, that would.. that would make me feel a lot better," he smiled, though with sad eyes.

Lan Xichen returned the smile before picking up a nearby scroll and beginning to read through it. The two sat in a friendly silence for a little while longer until Lan Wangji came striding through the doors.

"Xiong Zhang, I am ready to leave," Lan Wangji said, clutching his sword and a qiankun pouch by his side.

Wei Wuxian stood up to face him and took Lan Wangji's free hand in his.

Lan Xichen rose and brought his sword and qiankun pouch to his side. "Splendid. Wuxian, I trust that you will be following us down?"

"Of course! I'll be waving as you fly away."

And so they set off to the Cloud Recesses's gates, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji never once letting their hands separate. Wei Wuxian rested his head on the other's shoulder after they were halfway there, wanting to be as close to him as possible for their remaining time together. They walked slowly as to savour every last second they had with each other, delaying the eventual goodbye they both always hated to speak whenever they had to part.

When the gates appeared in their sights, Lan Wangji turned his head to speak in a low voice. "Wei Ying, we will part at the gates. You should not walk all the way down with us, it is not good for your injury."

Wei Wuxian only made a quiet noise in response.

Lan Xichen strolled ahead of them and stopped when he arrived at the gates, waiting for them to catch up.

At this point, Wei Wuxian's legs started to falter in their steps; every step towards the gates was full of dread, every step was one more closer to a week without his Lan Zhan—a week of worrying if he was okay, if he could sleep well, if he was eating well. His hand started to tighten in Lan Wangji's as they grew closer, ever closer, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he just couldn't take this tension anymore.

And then Wangji stopped walking. And Wei Wuxian's heart seemed to stop beating.

"Wei Ying, we are here."

Wei Wuxian peeked open his eyes and raised his head to look at the big, white arch above him. How he wished this gate would just disappear and give him and his Lan Zhan some more time.

"Well.. this is it I guess," Wei Wuxian said, trying to disguise his utter misery.

"So it is," Lan Wangji replied in the same crestfallen way.

A cough came from next to them."I will go over there and let you say goodbye," Lan Xichen said as he walked further down the path to observe the purple crocuses that had recently bloomed.

Wei Wuxian watched him wander further down before letting his veil fly off completely. His eyes filled with guilt and he couldn't make himself face Lan Wangji. He was so ashamed of himself, how could he have done this to Lan Zhan? Lan Wangji swore he could see Wei Wuxian's bottom lip trembling—as if he was a child who knew they had done wrong but were still afraid of the awaiting punishment.

Lan Wangji was taken aback by this because.. his Wei Ying had not done a single thing wrong. Why did he suddenly look so filled with hate for himself? Lan Wangji stepped forward and curved a hand around Wei Wuxian's upper arm in a comforting hold.

"Wei Ying?" Please tell me what is wrong.

Wei Wuxian didn't react to the touch, he just kept his eyes trained on the ground. Even now, he was worrying Lan Zhan. He heard the concern in his voice. Why did he keep doing this to him? Wei Wuxian wet his lips and attempted to let words pass over them but none would come. He needed to apologise to Lan Zhan but he couldn't even do that. All he needed to do was give him a smile and tell him that he was fine and to say that he was sorry. Lan Zhan doesn't deserve this. Not after all the suffering Wei Wuxian had put him through. I wasn't strong enough. How could he have let himself get injured in the first place. What's wrong with me? How could he not have seen how affected Lan Zhan was.

Wei Wuxian had unknowingly sunk his nails into his fisted hands and started to breathe irregularly while these familiar voices spat their poison. As soon as he realised that he was basically panicking and therefore worrying Lan Zhan even more, he tried to get a hold of himself and to stop but he couldn't and it was just making it worse and then—

He was enveloped in Lan Zhan's arms. "Breathe, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji whispered above his ear. "I am here."

And it was suddenly so much easier to breathe.

Wei Wuxian took a few deep breaths, each less shaky than the last, and finally found his voice. "Lan Zhan, I'm so sorry for making you worry for so long" he confessed, slightly muffled against Lan Wangji's chest. "I should've- I should've known that you were hurting because of me. It's all my fault that you're having nightmares and now you have to leave and I can't let you go and I-"

"Wei Ying, hush," he said softly as he brought one of his large hands up to cradle Wei Wuxian's head against him. "None of this is Wei Ying's fault. You did not ask to have an infection, nor did you want to be injured. This is.. simply what came to pass. Wei Ying is not to blame."

"But if I was stronger, if I wasn't so useless then the infection wouldn't have been as bad as it was and you'd be okay," Wei Wuxian argued.

"Wei Ying is never useless," he kissed the top of his head. "It is futile to torture yourself over things that could have been. You know this."

He did know this, all to well. The knowing never stopped him from doing, though. He was always to blame. In his eyes, anyway.

"Lan Zhan, let me come with you, I don't want you to leave," he said dolefully.

"Wei Ying, I do not wish to leave either," he said with an equal amount of tribulation. "You must.. stay here and rest, for me."

Wei Wuxian replaced his gaze back up to him. "Lan Zhan, ah, Lan Zhan. For you, I will do anything."

"Mn. For Wei Ying, I will also do anything."

Wei Wuxian sighed and placed his cheek on his chest. "Then.. Lan Zhan, do you promise that you'll be okay without me for a while? I don't like the thought of you being alone right now."

"I will never be okay without Wei Ying," he said as he rested his chin on his head. "Do not worry about me, it is not good for your recovery. Make sure to rest, Wei Ying, do not indulge in strenuous activities as it could hurt your stomach. I have told Shufu and A-Yuan to check on you every morning, afternoon, evening and night. They must send for me at once if your injury gets worse again."

"Ah.. Lan Zhan, no one has to check on me, I'm completely fine," he huffed and pouted as he retracted his arms from around the other's waist. Though really, he expected nothing less from his caring and protective husband.

Lan Wangji grasped Wei Wuxian's hand and held it up to his lips so he could place a gentle kiss onto his knuckles. "Wei Ying, I know your stomach is still causing you pain. Promise me that you will rest."

"Fine, fine, I solemnly promise that while we are apart I will only rest!" He exclaimed, holding up three fingers in declaration.

Lan Wangji smiled at him, the singing birds seeming to become louder as they got lost in each other's eyes. It was a kind of studying gaze, one of mapping, like they were memorising every corner and line of the other's features—committing it to memory so they may never even begin to forget it over this short but also painfully long time.

It was rather pleasant, until Lan Wangji's smile disappeared and the corners of his mouth grew heavy, as did his eyes, though with tears.

He suddenly buried his face into the side of Wei Wuxian's neck and hugged him tight.

"Wei Ying," he whispered brokenly, "I.. am afraid."

Wei Wuxian's heart was already being taunted to break but those three words were enough to tear it apart. He had rarely ever heard Lan Zhan even mutter the very feeling of fear, though he knew that Lan Zhan often secretly felt it when it came to him. He must be considerably afraid to confess this and so that thought alone made Wei Wuxian want to wrap him up in his arms and sit with him until he felt safe. Knowing that he couldn't do that and instead had to watch him leave was growing to be unbearable.

"Lan Zhan.. sweetheart, this is already so hard, how am I supposed to let you go now," he said tenderly as he carded through his hair gently. "It'll be alright, your brother will be there for you, you're not gonna be alone, and I'll have old man Lan and Sizhui and probably the rest of the juniors and all of Cloud Recesses too. We'll still be under the same sun, hm? You'll be fine, I'll be fine."

Lan Wangji cried into him silently, he couldn't help it; he had suddenly comprehended the fact that he was leaving his Wei Ying behind while he was being haunted by nightmares of him dying. If he had another, multiple even, Wei Ying wouldn't be there to hug him, to talk to him, to comfort him. Wei Ying wouldn't be there so he could press his ear against his chest and hear the beating of his heart.

Wei Ying wouldn't be there.

"Wei Ying, the nightmares I- I cannot watch you die again," a whimper escaped him, "Wei Ying, it hurts too much."

Wei Wuxian rested his cheek on Lan Wangji's head as he pulled him even tighter against him.

"This is killing us," he thought.

How he wished he could send someone else off instead of his Lan Zhan. He wanted so much to just ask him, no, beg him to stay with him; but he knew it would be futile. Lan Zhan always answers the call for help, always putting the needs of others before his own.

"Shhh Lan Zhan, I'm here, I love you," he whispered as he started scratching the other's scalp soothingly. "I'm here, shhh, I love you so much. I'll still be here when you get back, I promise, I'm not going anywhere, ever."

Wei Wuxian felt an ounce of relief as he felt the other go lax in his arms. At least he was able to bring him some comfort before he left to inevitably endure more distress, alone.

Then, an idea made him remove his hands from the other's hair and reach up to fiddle with his own.

"Lan Zhan, give me your hand," he said softly as he continued fiddling with his hair.

Lan Wangji hesitantly emerged from the crevice of Wei Wuxian's neck, revealing his tear stained face and half red eyes. He looked at him curiously, but held out his hand obediently. He watched as the other took something out of his hair, drew a glowing character and sent it onto the material. Wei Wuxian then began to wrap it around Lan Wangji's wrist.

Wei Ying's red ribbon.

Lan Wangji watched as it was wound around his wrist and forearm, revelling in the soft, secure-feeling silk that now felt like he was carrying a piece of his Wei Ying with him.

Once it was all wrapped, Wei Wuxian placed a kiss on the inside of his hand.

"There. Now I will be with you, Lan Zhan." He placed his hands gently on his cheeks and started brushing his tears away with his thumbs.

He knew what Wei Ying had done—he had drawn the same sigil many times before on various accessories or materials that they each would bring with them whenever they had to leave the other behind. If they sent some spiritual energy into it, the character would glow as it stored the energy and effectively bound a part of them to it. Whenever they touched the material, they would be able to sense how the other was feeling—like if they were content, distressed or tired. If ever the other was in pain, they themselves would not feel it as pain of their own, but they would be able to sense that the other was hurting. The one who tied themselves to the belonging—like Wei Wuxian had just done—would be able to tap into the other's feelings whenever the other person touched the object, or constantly if they were wearing the object, like Lan Wangji was now with Wei Wuxian's ribbon. So Wei Wuxian would be able to feel how Lan Wangji was doing and vice versa.

Lan Zhan had loved it the first time they tried it. This way, he was able to make sure that Wei Ying was safe, no matter how far away from him he traveled.

"I love you, Wei Ying," he said as he pressed his forehead against his and closed his eyes.

Whispering against his lips he replied, "And I love you, Lan Zhan, so much."

The sun that had sparkled through the trees seemed to have found a clearing to where it could smile upon the pair, shining through the diamond shape created by their now pressed together features. The sun painted them gold, the rays cascading down their bodies like a waterfall of light. It was a warm glow that lightly touched their skin, contrasting with the bitter cold of the air. This was the daughter of the sky, the brightest star, spreading her gold and igniting the flame of adoration between the two. Even she rejoiced in their love.

Wei Wuxian cupped his husband's hands in his and brought them to his heart, knowing that these were the last few minutes he would get with him before he ventured off without him.

"Lan Zhan, your hands are cold," he whispered and kissed a knuckle lightly.

Lan Wangji nodded delicately, flickering his eyes up to capture Wei Wuxian's and back down to his lips where he wanted to lose himself.

The two leaned into each other and brought their lips together in a slow kiss, drawing it out so that they may linger just a little bit longer with one another. Lan Wangji placed a palm on Wei Wuxian's pink cold-kissed cheek, the other hand still grasped in his, over his heart. Every time the kiss seemed to slow to a stop, one of them would pick it back up again, never wanting it to end. Wei Wuxian eventually turned his cheek to Lan Wangji's ever seeking lips, the latter kissing warmth into his cold skin instead of them.

"Your brother is waiting for you," Wei Wuxian sighed, knowing that they both should have departed a long while ago. He was thankful for the extra time that they had got together.

Lan Wangji gently kissed his forehead and embraced him, "I will miss you, Wei Ying."

"I'll miss you too, Lan Zhan," he pulled away from him and put on a smile. "Be safe, hm? Come back to me in one piece."

"I always do," Lan Wangji affirmed.

Lan Wangji then turned and started walking down the stone steps, not realising that Wei Ying was still tightly holding onto his hand until the strain stopped him from progressing any further. He looked up and almost ran back into his husband's arms when he saw those pitiful eyes—Wei Ying did not want to let go.

"Wei Ying, I love you," he said as assuredly as stating the sky is blue.

"I love you too," came a quiet reply. Wei Wuxian then very hesitantly started to let go of Lan Zhan's hand. He internally winced when his fingers grazed across the other's and mourned when the touch was no more.

Lan Wangji returned his hand to the small of his back before turning to walk once more towards his brother. He seemed to have found company in the rabbits that had appeared, crouching down amongst them.

Lan Xichen looked up as he heard Lan Wangji approach. "Ready to leave?" he asked while rising from his haunches.

"Mn."

"Let's be off, then," he turned, "Wuxian, farewell," he called, as he looked up at him on top of the steps.

Wei Wuxian bowed towards him and met Lan Wangji's eyes when he regained his height. Neither said anything more, but then they didn't have to as they knew what the other was thinking:

I love you, I'll miss you, be safe, we'll see each other soon, it won't be long, we'll be okay, I love you.

Wei Wuxian smiled weakly with an accompanying loving slow blink of his eyes, giving a little reassuring nod too, and before he knew it, Lan Wangji had turned to walk alongside his brother down the path. Wei Wuxian watched until the flash of their white robes disappeared behind the trees before crouching down and burying his face into his knees.

He may have cried, he may have not. The birds do not tell secrets.

He sat there silently on the cold stone for what seemed like hours. It must be past Wei-Shi by now. A small baby bunny had emerged at one point and he watched it bounce around happily for a while, before taking it into his lap. He ran his hand slowly through its pristine, fluffy coat as it cuddled into him seeking warmth. The snow that had carpeted the path underneath him had melted into his clothes, leaving them soaked and heavy. He couldn't care less, though. He would hang them to dry in the Jingshi, whenever he decided to return.

He sighed as his stomach growled, he was undeniably hungry. It had been almost 6 hours since he had eaten with Lan Zhan, so it wasn't completely implausible that his body was demanding more food. But he wanted to stay here, in amongst the evergreens and whistling trees, their branches bowing under the weight of the snow. There was a certain beauty to surrounding yourself in the reverent awe of nature, a feeling that could never be replicated quite the same. Winters in Gusu had such a peaceful, serene aura that begged of the soul to stop for a moment and listen. They held such splendour, such clarity, allowing him to think deeply and notice small details; like although most of the trees lacked colorful signs of life, they all held the same promise of spring within them.

Little snowflakes began to fall once again and Wei Wuxian tilted his head up towards the heavens. His breath was pale against the cold numbing air and he closed his eyes as the feathered flakes patiently kissed his face. His promises to Lan Zhan reverberated through his mind, "I'll take care of myself, I promise", "Lan Zhan, I solemnly promise that I will only rest!". 

His stomach growled again and this time he could almost hear Lan Zhan's voice, see his small frown: "Wei Ying, you have not eaten. You are hungry." Then he would proceed to concoct a delicious dish, tailored to his colorful tastes, making sure that he ate it all, every last grain of rice. Lan Zhan was only satisfied when Wei Ying was satisfied.

He couldn't break his promise to Lan Zhan. He must continue to take care of himself. Which meant getting up from the cold ground, changing out of his sodden robes and filling his stomach with some nutritious food.

Sighing, he ruffled the bunny's ears and brought it up to his face, nose to nose.

"Xiao tutu, it's just you and me."

The little rabbit twitched its nose and began to wriggle in his hands. It really was the tiniest, plumpest little thing. Like a dumpling or a steamed bun.

"Aiyah, don't run away yet, I need you to promise me something, little dumpling," he said as he squished it's round cheeks. "Don't tell Lan Zhan that I was out here for so long in the cold, he'll scold me," he pouted. "Don't tell the other rabbits either, it's our secret, okay?"

The little dumpling perked it's fluffy ears up and twitched its nose twice, as if it understood and wholeheartedly agreed. It wriggled more until Wei Wuxian set it down and then it scampered off back to its mother in the shrubbery. It would surely keep Wei Wuxian's secret tucked away, and tell the other bunnies about the hours it spent in his cozy, warm lap instead.

Wei Wuxian watched on as the baby reunited with its mother. He slowly stood up, stretching out his arms above his head—perhaps he had sat for too long. The snow was still falling lightly around him and he turned to make his way up the long steps. He didn't feel too cold, but there was definitely a chill in his bones that he could thaw out once he arrived back at the Jingshi.

As he continued climbing up the mountain, he began thinking of what he would make himself to eat. There was a wide range of spices and chili's kept in a cupboard in the Jingshi that he could sprinkle (or rather, pour) over just about anything, and he still had a lot of meat leftover from when Lan Zhan had last gone into Caiyi Town. The merchant had been quite taken aback by The Hanguang-Jun—from the vegetarian Lan Sect—buying a whole 3 kilos of meat. However they hadn't dared to remark on it as a bowl full of coins was placed into their hands. What the merchant did not know was that Lan Wangji was in fact buying meat for his injured husband, as advised by their head physician.

He had bought him meat many times before; when Wei Wuxian had insisted on trying the vegetarian diet, he hadn't particularly wanted to ever try it again afterwards, and so his meat-eating had resumed. Wei Wuxian had still wanted to at least cut down on his meat consumption in respect to his husband and the sect, so it became a cuisine of sorts.

However, after his husband's injury, Lan Wangji had wanted to do absolutely everything he could to aid him in his recovery, even if that entailed buying a whole 3 kilos of meat.

Wei Wuxian shook his head slowly, fondly. "Lan Zhan, ah, Lan Zhan." 

When he came to the top of the mountain he decided to take the back path to the Jingshi, avoiding the onslaught of disciples that were sure to crowd him. Right now he just wanted to go home, satisfy his stomach and have a long nap. Although he knew it wouldn't feel quite like home without Lan Zhan there.

He sauntered down the path under the trees and the snow, smiling as he caught a glimpse of the archway leading to the Jingshi. He was almost there. Everything was sprinkled with a fresh dusting of snow and it all glared bright under the sun.

Wei Wuxian thought he couldn't possibly love Lan Zhan even more until he walked into the Jingshi—the cozy warm Jingshi—and saw a dish of steaming rice buried under sauce and some meat, next to a bowl of soup and a colorful plate of fruit set on the table. He wafted his hand through the steam so he could breathe in the delicious smell of it all and whined, "Lan Zhaaann, you're really too good to me."

His husband was so thoughtful, so kind. Taking care of him when he wasn't even there. He really was one of a kind, and he was his. His and nobody else's. Wei Wuxian could have sung at the thought.

After he put on some dry robes, Wei Wuxian made quick work of tucking into the meal, keeping his promise to Lan Wangji by eating every last grain of rice and drop of soup. It was truly delicious, seasoned to perfection!

With his stomach full, he made his way to the bed and sprawled himself over it with his face pressing into the soft sheets. That made his stomach give a pang of discomfort and so he turned onto his back instead.

"I'm so tired," he groaned into the mattress. He star-fished his limbs out with a huff. "It's been so long since I slept without Lan Zhan, how am I supposed to rest at all?"

Talking to himself was a habit that he had picked up in his time at the burial mounds and one he rarely goes back to. Now that he has the company of Lan Zhan and the juniors and other folk of the living, there isn't much of a need for it other than when he's fiddling with some invention and feeling particularly frustrated. Or, on the rare occasion when Lan Zhan leaves him for a long period of time.

Reaching his arm to the side he grabbed one of Lan Wangji's pillows and hugged it to his chest as he curled up around it. It had begun to snow and he adored listening to it. So he closed his eyes and let the soft sound of snow-falling outside become his lullaby. It must have worked, as the next time he opened his eyes, the Jingshi was in complete darkness.

Sitting up drowsily, he rubbed his eyes and stretched before standing up clumsily and maneuvering through the dark to get to his desk. He needed some talisman paper.

He was doing fine until he forgot about the newly placed drawer and banged his knee into it, sending something crashing to the ground.

"Aiiyahh, that better not have been one of Lan Zhan's bunny ornaments, oh gods." He couldn't remember for the life of him what was placed on the drawer but he sincerely hoped it wasn't something sentimental or important. He did, however, remember that he stored some talisman paper in this drawer and so he started feeling about for the handles. In the process, he managed to find some broken glass and hissed as it created a cut in his hand. He'll be looking for bandages after this, clearly.

Finally finding the handles, Wei Wuxian opened it and retrieved the talisman paper.

"Well, at least I don't have to look for the ink," he grumbled as he drew the talisman in red. Sending it out, all the lanterns were immediately given a flame and light returned to the Jingshi. He squinted for a minute or two while his eyes got used to the blaring light. It was a very useful little talisman, he did like it on night hunts.

Before he could assess what exactly he had broken, a knock came at the door along with a quiet, "Wei-qianbei are you awake?"

"A-yuan", Wei Wuxian smiled. "Sizhui come in, come in, I'm awake," he called.

Lan Sizhui opened the doors and stepped inside, shuddering as he was met with the almost tropical temperature of the Jingshi. It was close to matching Yunmeng's heat, he thought.

He looked over at Wei Wuxian and his gaze wandered down to the floor, where broken glass had spread out. Eyes flashing with panic, he rushed over to him. "A-die, what happened? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I just woke up and it was all dark so I had to come over here and find some talisman paper but then I knocked my knee into the draw and then this.." he waved his hand in a gesture by the broken pieces and tried to picture what it had looked like, "..this vase fell off." He really hoped this vase wasn't important. What if it was Lan Zhan's favourite vase?

"Your hand," Lan Sizhui worried as he bent down and opened another draw, taking out a bandage. He handed it to the other and started clearing up the broken glass.

Wei Wuxian frankly didn't want to know why Lan Wangji kept bandages in such an accessible place or why Lan Sizhui knew exactly where they were. The reason most definitely started and ended with him.

"A-Yuan, A-Yuan, it's my mess I'll pick it up," he rushed as he tried to move him away from the glass.

Lan Sizhui shielded the pile of glass with his hands from the other so he couldn't start picking it up. "A-die, bandage your hand and set out the food I brought, while it's still warm," he coaxed.

"Nu-uh, I'm cleaning this up, you set out the food," he argued.

Lan Sizhui sighed, he didn't want to threaten him, but if he still wouldn't give up this fight.. "Wei-qianbei, I don't want to have to tell Hanguang-Jun that you picked up glass, with a bleeding hand and while you were crouching."

Wei Wuxian gasped over-dramatically, "You wouldn't!"

"I would too!"

"Fine, fine, I give up, I'll go and sit down," he pouted. "You juniors are ruthless!"

The rest of the evening was slow-paced. Lan Sizhui had eaten with Wei Wuxian and stayed afterwards for a little while, playing a few board games and telling him about his classes and his progress. When it was nearing curfew, Lan Sizhui had given Wei Wuxian a signalling shell to alert him in case of an emergency. He hated the thought of Wei Wuxian being alone if he was in pain, and that was the only thing that had made Wei Wuxian accept the talisman, for Lan Sizhui's peace of mind. Although Lan Sizhui knew that Wei Wuxian was unlikely to use it even if he was in agony, for the sake of not worrying him. Still, Lan Sizhui wanted to show him that he was here if he needed him.

Wei Wuxian waved him off as Lan Sizhui trudged out through the snow and quickly ducked back inside when he lost sight of him. It was deathly freezing outside.

After that hearty-meal—the third one he had had that day—he'd come to feel quite tired again. He never usually felt tired this early, but he supposed that there were a number of factors that played into that.

He first changed into his night robes, soft black silk with red patterns up the sleeves, and then moved in front of the mirror to take out his bun and comb out his hair. He missed Lan Wangji's guqin playing, the melodies he would usually strum out before he got ready for bed. It was so soothing.

Hopping into bed, he tucked himself under the covers and grabbed the pillow he had cuddled up to earlier. His arms curled to hug around it, and although it could never compare with clinging to his Lan Zhan, it was better than sleeping with empty arms. He sent a talisman out to snuff out the flames in the lanterns and darkness greeted him again.

He inhaled deeply and sighed. "Lan Zhan, it really is so much quieter without you."

The flight to Baling was long, slow and very quiet. Lan Wangji hadn't uttered a single word the whole trip, not even as much as an affirmative "Mn" when Lan Xichen had suggested what they ought to do when they arrive. Lan Xichen had eventually given up trying to get his little brother to converse with him, leaving him to his own quietude.

As Lan Wangji nearly always travelled with his Wei Ying, he was now very used to their journeys being filled with stories, and teasing and laughter. They were never quiet or boring with him. This silence felt uncomfortable, almost unnatural, and it spoke volumes of what he was missing and of what he had to leave behind.

They landed safely and managed to reach the Inn just after dark. Lan Xichen kept his promise to Wei Wuxian by getting a shared room for the both of them— which Lan Wangji had not commented on or reacted to at all—and after settling their belongings in their room, the pair decided to head out to the Ouyang Sect and talk more with the Sect Leader about what exactly had been happening.

After hearing accounts from Ouyang Disciples and Sect Leader Ouyang himself who had had a rather close encounter, the two Twin Jades came to the conclusion that the mysterious creature was in fact a group of resentful ghosts that would re-enact their own deaths onto others, hidden by invisibility. This would explain why no disciples had actually seen anything kill anyone. They would only find the lifeless bodies of their fellow cultivators murdered in different ways, without a sign or trace of the murderer.

There had also been reports of 2 ghosts who would appear sometimes walking together in the forest at night. Their hazy figures would flicker relentlessly for an hour or two and then they would disappear again. One disciple had said that he once saw one of them wailing on the ground while the other tried to console them.

They didn't sound resentful or murderous, just lost or grieving. Something was obviously still here that was keeping them from passing on, something unfinished perhaps. The Jades kept them in mind.

Surprisingly helpful, the Sect Leader divulged to them the favoured time frames that they were able to calculate of the resentful ghosts' killings, which were most likely the times that the ghosts themselves had been murdered at. Unfortunately, these short time frames were scattered throughout the night which meant that the Two Jades would have to turn their sleep schedule completely upside down in order to actually be awake and alert at unheard of hours of the night like, 11:52pm and 1:16am.

Oh the joys of night hunting.

With a few hours to spare before the first time frame, the men decided to discuss the details of their hunting such as where everyone would be stationed and how they were going to capture and subdue the ghosts. These lengthy talks took them right to the first time frame and so they put their plan into action.

Nothing happened.

And they waited for the second time frame.

Again, nothing happened.

And so they waited for the third time frame.

Still no ghosts appeared.

At this point, some of the Ouyang disciples had fallen asleep as they stood there in complete silence, losing the battle to their closing eyes. Lan Wangji's eyes went fond as he thought of how his Wei Ying would have complained about how boring this was if he had come along. Perhaps he would have also fallen asleep.

It wasn't until the latest time frame at 2:02am - 2:36am, that something did happen.

A scream in the far distance. Disciples began running around like flailing chickens as the Two Jades made their way to the scene.

A dead disciple, strung up like a roasted duck.

This was apparently going to be quite the case, as apart from the scream, there had been no other sounds or signs of a struggle, and no one had seen or felt a thing.

After checking over the body and not finding anything unusual, Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen discharged the disciples from their posts and then made their own tired way back to their room. If not for the gracefulness and composure of the Lan being drilled into the two, they would have both collapsed onto their beds immediately and fallen asleep in their entire attire: headpieces, boots and all.

Instead, they glided about the room in a manner that was so unlike two people who had been awake with no rest for over 24 hours; not a single flutter of exhaustion crossing their faces. Lan Wangji sat on his bed and began to meditate after he had gotten himself appropriately dressed. It took a lot of energy that he didn't really have to keep himself from falling down the spiral of sleep that his exhausted body was trying to pull him into.

After a few minutes, Lan Xichen returned and sat down on his own bed to start his nightly meditation alongside Lan Wangji. The pair only lasted around 5 minutes before their composure started to crumble and their expressions just could not lie anymore: they were exhausted. And so, Lan Xichen dutifully blew out the candles, lay himself down on his bed and closed his eyes, welcoming the pull of restorative unconsciousness.

However, no rustling came from the other side of the room. Lan Wangji must not have moved to lie down, or he did, but seemingly did it weightless. Lan Xichen opened his eyes, straining them to try and see his brother through the darkness. He focused on a patch of moonlight that spilled through a window to get his eyes accustomed, and he looked again toward the other's bed.

He could now see Lan Wangji, unmoved, sitting cross-legged on his bed. Perhaps he had fallen asleep there? As the caring older brother that he was, Lan Xichen took it upon himself to get up from his oh-so-comfy bed and stride over to his little brother to lay him down and tuck him in. However, as he went to push his body down, Lan Wangji suddenly mumbled sleepily, "Xiong Zhang."

Lan Xichen drew a sharp breath as he startled momentarily. "Wangji, I'm sorry, I thought you had fallen asleep. You need to rest, you are tired."

"..Not tired." The other sounded half asleep already.

Lan Xichen sighed a laugh. "Wangji, you are practically already asleep. Here, let me help you lie down." He placed his hands against Lan Wangji's shoulders and pressed lightly, willing his brother's body to give in.

Lan Wangji's mind, however, had other plans. He stood up abruptly from the bed and started pacing up and down the room on his lagging legs. He was determined not to fall asleep and this seemed to be his best bet.

For a moment, Lan Xichen was left speechless. He watched his brother's strange behaviour in a way that could only be described as gawking at him. He had no idea what to think of this: his brother was clearly exhausted, he obviously knew it too and yet he was refusing himself to go to sleep.

"Wangji, why are you not letting yourself rest?" He asked, puzzled.

"I.. cannot," came a quiet reply. Lan Wangji continued pacing.

"Wangji, talk to me, you cannot pace all night, you need to rest."

Lan Wangji halted in his steps. He flexed his palms in and out of fists. "I.. I.. am afraid," he whispered.

Those three words again. They had escaped the depths of his heart too many times already. That is not acceptable. It was always so difficult for him to convey his feelings, and yet now he felt like they were spilling out of him, having no control over them at all. He must get that lid back on. Others should not know of his fear, it was dangerous. He did not like this new-found vulnerability.

Lan Xichen's understanding came flooding in. He blamed it on his lack-of-sleep-incoherence for not putting two and two together sooner.

Wangji is afraid of having another nightmare. 

This was, of course, the sole reason that Wei Wuxian had asked for him to take extra care of Wangji.

"Let me help you," he said softly as he rose from his bed and slowly approached Lan Wangji.

He placed a palm on one shoulder and took Lan Wangji's hand in the other as he guided his sleepy brother back to his bed. He made him sit down on it and he went to sit beside him, keeping his hand in his.

"Wangji, I know that you are afraid, but you cannot let that stop you from resting. You will make yourself ill if you do not."

Lan Wangji closed his eyes, "Xiong Zhang, you do not understand."

"Wangji, Wuxian told me about the nightmares, I do understand," Lan Xichen squeezed the other's hand, "he also told me to take care of you, and I know that he made you promise him that you would take care of yourself too. Make good on that promise, hm?"

Lan Wangji swallowed roughly. He had promised Wei Ying, and he absolutely could not break that promise.

But the nightmares. 

Watching Wei Ying die, feeling his death, the pain of losing him again, it was too much, it was suffocating-

Lan Wangji put his hands over his ears and shook his head in an attempt to stop his spiral, "I need to stay awake, I cannot watch Wei Ying die again, I cannot."

Lan Xichen hated seeing how distressed his little brother was getting—over sleeping—he felt helpless. He knew that the only thing that would help his fear would be Wei Wuxian being there, so he again started to feel guilty about separating them. He could only be there for his brother now, even though he knew his presence was much less comforting to Wangji in this moment.

He shuffled closer to the other and held his wrist in an attempt to free his ears. "Wangji, listen to me, it's going to be alright. You must remember these nightmares are not real, they are not of the present. You cannot let them take control of you, you are stronger than that."

Lan Wangji gradually lowered his hands and opened his eyes, his brother's words seeming to have struck a chord in him.

"You must sleep, Wangji, please." He pressed against his brother's shoulders again and this time Lan Wangji let his body lower itself down onto the bed, once again closing his eyes. Lan Xichen then placed the blanket over him, tucking him in.

Lan Wangji must have been so completely exhausted as he fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow. Lan Xichen smiled a sigh as he looked over his little brother; his stubborn little brother. The little brother he had taken care of when he was young, who he still took care of now that he was older, who he would always take care of. The little brother he loved very dearly, and would do anything for.

Squeezing Lan Wangji's hand one last time, he made his way back to his own bed and finally lay himself down.

He wished to the stars that his brother would have a peaceful night, but alas, this was not to be the will of the moon.

Sprinting through the burial mounds was no easy feat. The ground was uneven, filled with weeds and rocks jutting out all over the place, and hidden holes that could swallow an uncareful person's foot. Brambles and ashen vines had reached out in their growth to cross over the path, intertwining and forming barriers, like barbed wire. This would not stop him though, for nothing could stop him in his desperation, not even an army of a thousand men.

So he continued to run. Through the thorns that pierced his skin and streaked his white robe red. Through the sharp rocks that frayed the fabric and threatened his boots to shreds. Past the menacing dead trees that stood like harrowing grim reapers. Past the wailing souls, the resentful souls, that longed to find a keeper.

Although the day had long since begun, here the night never left. This wicked forest was always smothered in darkness, cursed to never see the light or feel the warmth of the sun. He could feel the thickness of the resentment, he could almost see the tendrils of it, like black smoke billowing out from every corner.

This place was ghastly, screaming of death and corruption. It was apocalyptic. Even he himself looked cadaverous, with his pallid skin and gaunt figure.

"He must be here," he thought, "He cannot be dead."

He refused to believe it. It could not be true. The only boy he had ever loved was not allowed to be dead. Not him.

"He must be hiding here."

The demon subdued palace was still intact. It stood looming and ominous as ever. Scrambling in he caught his breath as he darted his eyes around to observe every part, searching, looking. For that face he was so desperate to see.

"Wei Ying!" He called. Nothing. Nothing but the sound of his voice bouncing off the walls through the cave.

"Wei Ying!" He called again as he went further into the cave, past the blood pool pond. Still nothing.

"He must be here, he has to be here."

He searched every nook and cranny, scanning the cave for him, for any sign of him. Perhaps he was scared and hiding from him. Maybe he thought Lan Wangji was here to drag him back to Qishan and allow the sects to kill him. Maybe he thought it was a trap.

"Wei Ying, you do not have to be afraid, I am here alone. I'm here to help you." He made his way to the small, unmade bed at the very back. "I am not angry at you, please just.." he took a deep, shuddery breath, "..please tell me if you're here."

Nothing.

The silence was deafening. With every second of it, his heart cracked a little more. He isn't here. Wei Ying isn't here. He took the red ribbon out of his pocket and slowly fell to his knees.

"He cannot be dead, he cannot be dead." Lan Wangji scrunched the fabric so tight his knuckles matched his blanched face. The merciless scarlet of the silk seeped into his memory like unforgiving blood, staining through the protective veil and bringing out the memories he had buried underneath it.

Flashbacks.

A cliff, blood, tears. "Lan Zhan, let go." A cliff, a sword, a scream. "WEI YING!" A cliff, pain, a whisper. "..Wei Ying."

Tears spilled from his eyes and he choked on his gasps. "He cannot be dead, he cannot be dead."

"WEI YING!" The stone walls echoed back to him. "WEI YING!" The cave dissipated into a blurry mist and darkness enclosed him. "WEI YING!"

"Wangji!" His eyes flew open as he gasped and instinctively tried to scramble away from the hands that were gripping his shoulders; from the shadow of a body that loomed over him. Where was he? Where was Wei Ying?

"Wangji, it's me, you're safe," a familiar voice sounded out into the dark, raised in a desperate sort of way.

Lan Wangji gripped his brother's forearms, digging his nails into the sleeves. He breathed in bursts, heaving in air and gasping it out again—he felt like he was dying. Skimming his eyes around the room, he attempted to absorb everything and process where he was but his mind was racing. His whole body trembled and he could feel strands of his hair sticking to his sweat-drenched forehead. The thrashing of his heartbeat was loud in his ears, almost deafening, and it created a tight pain in his chest. He was drowning in so many emotions and feelings and yet he was only focused on one thing: where was Wei Ying?

"Wei Ying," he choked out, "..where is Wei Ying?" Hot tears now started to fall down his quivering cheeks and gather on his chin like diamond droplets.

"Wuxian is at home in Cloud Recesses, he is alive, he is safe," came the confident reply.

Why wasn't Wei Ying with him? Was he really safe? Why wasn't he there to protect Wei Ying? He needs to see him, he needs to go back to him, he needs Wei Ying in his arms.

It was then that he noticed the red ribbon wound around his wrist. Wei Ying's red ribbon. Why did he have his ribbon? That could only mean—he had fallen off the cliff. Wei Ying fell. Wei Ying was dead.

He cannot be dead, he cannot be dead.

Fueled by desperation, Lan Wangji released his hold on the other's arms and tried to push him away so he could get up. It proved to be futile however as his hyperventilating had spread tingles and numbness throughout his body and he barely held any strength at all. Still, he pressed his shaking hands against this obstacle as his vision started to spin. He had to get to Wei Ying.

"Wangji listen to me, your Wei Ying is fine, it was just a nightmare," Lan Xichen pleaded as he clutched his little brother's trembling body to him. He knew the only thing that would get him to calm down would be Wei Wuxian himself, so he brought his hand around to reach inside his robe for a talisman. Wei Wuxian had given him a handful before they left for the gates, "Just in case," he had said. They were sleep-inducing talismans, usually used to take back unwilling criminals, but Lan Xichen understood why Wei Wuxian had given them to him. They would be useful if Lan Wangji could not be calmed from a nightmare, where he was only going to end up fainting from the state of tribulation his body and mind were in. It was kinder to release him from his nightmaric-disorientation and allow him to awake in the morning with a clearer mind, one that was not clouded by the fog of his fear. The shadow of his terror.

Lan Wangji's throat was sore by now from shouting but that didn't stop him from escalating his whimpers to sobs.

"WEI YING!" He cried, muffled against his brother's robes. "WEI YING!" The pain in his voice was unmistakable.

Lan Xichen finally found one of the talismans and immediately pressed it onto his little brother's back before he could scream his throat raw even more.

The effects were thankfully instant, with Lan Wangji's eyes rolling closed and his body going limp. The tight fists he had balled his hands into unclenched and his shivering ceased. There was only a broken whimper and a quiet whisper of "Wei Ying.." before the last tear escaped his eye and sleep was thrown over him.

Lan Xichen inhaled deeply, shakily. That had been a lot worse than he had thought it would be. He wondered if his brother had suffered like this during the years that Wei Wuxian had been dead. Did he have nightmares often back then? Would he scream himself awake and pick up the pieces of his broken heart alone every night? The thought of it almost shattered his own heart. He should have stayed with his brother, been there for him through his grief. Lan Xichen looked down at the other's peaceful form and smiled sadly, "But would he have even let me?"

Lan Xichen decided that he was quite content in holding his little brother through the night, he hoped it would comfort Wangji at least a little in his unconsciousness, as it would comfort himself. He would merely just get up from the bed in the morning before removing the talisman, so Lan Wangji wouldn't know and wouldn't be able to frown about it.

Maneuvering himself to recline against a pillow, he lay his arm down over the other's shoulder and chest so he could hold his hand and have Lan Wangji's head nestled between his shoulder and his neck. This was somewhat familiar to him, and it suddenly reminded him of when they were young.

When he used to comfort his little brother after their Mother had gone.

Quiet murmurs of his name began to rouse him from his sleep until they grew into pained screams that rang in his ears and reverberated through his mind making him jerk upright with a gasp.

The Jingshi was pitch black, preventing him from even making out the lines of his outstretched hand that he had wanted to confirm his realness. There had been many a time that he had awoken surrounded by wailing voices, thinking that surely, he must have turned into one of them this time. He was relieved to find out however, that he was still very much alive as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Breathing deeply, Wei Wuxian focused inwards on what he was feeling, what he was hearing. Phantom fear was seeping into him but he could feel that it did not belong to him. Terror started to flood him but it was almost like it wasn't there. As if a ghost was trailing it's cold resentment over his skin just inches away from making contact, only allowing him to feel the strong presence of it, but not the full-force of the emotion. It was chilling, sending shudders up and down his body.

After the first shrieks of his name, silence had come sharply. Like the throat of the one that had cried had been slit suddenly, ceasing their devastated shrills. It was when he started to shiver from the ghostly panic creeping over his body that he heard them again. Murmurs that echoed back and forth between his ears that grew louder, more desperate, until they were screams once more.

Wei Wuxian clamped his hands over his ears to try to block out the haunting voices but they were erupting from within him rather than from the outside, and so they continued to blare across his head like a hurricane. When he tuned into them, when he really listened, the voice was unmistakable.

"Lan Zhan," he realised in a tearful voice.

Lan Zhan had a nightmare. Lan Zhan is crying for me. Lan Zhan isn't here with me.

His tightly shut eyes swelled with tears. He could almost see the nebulous apparition of Lan Zhan in his mind. He could almost touch him, but as he reached out, Lan Zhan vanished into wisps of swirling mist. Then, as quickly as it had started, the voice was gone. The screams were stifled. The trembling had quelled. He should have felt peace: the hands of horror no longer constricting his throat, the scrapes of sharp fear over his skin halting in their trails.

But all he felt was torment.

He hiccuped with emotion and tried to swallow down the whimpers that were forcing their way up his throat as he lay back down. Clutching his robes above his heart, where it hurt the most, he buried his face into Lan Wangji's pillow. Why did he let him leave? He should have gone with him. Why didn't he just go with him? How could he have let him go?

"Lan Zhan," he whimpered, "I'm right here Lan Zhan."

Wei Wuxian was awakened by the rather loud, nonchalant guffaw of laughter from outside the Jingshi that he could only guess to be Lan Jingyi, followed by hushes and shushes from his companions. They weren't usually allowed to take the back path for exactly this reason: they may awaken Wei-qianbei, which was a new rule Hanguang-Jun had imposed despite the other's insistence that it didn't need to become an actual rule. Although he suspected that that excuse was just a cover-up for the real reason: that some poor disciples may pass by and hear certain things that could change the way they look at the pair forever. So he had started viewing the rule as rather thoughtful.

However today, with the absence of Hanguang-Jun, Lan Jingyi had obviously felt less intimidated to stroll past and take this nifty shortcut to class with his fellow classmates. That boy really did remind Wei Wuxian of himself.

Stretching out his legs under the covers and reaching his arms up high, he yawned widely. He concluded that if the juniors were off to lessons, then it must be after Mao-Shi. Thankfully despite his prompted wake-up, he had had a satisfyingly long sleep. Perhaps it wasn't that bad to go to sleep at a time before Yin-Shi.

"What day is it?" He said in a groggy morning voice, half expecting Lan Wangji to hum back in reply. That expectation and the silence that accompanied it made him realise that he wasn't there. Lan Wangji had gone to Baling yesterday, leaving him behind. He pouted, "How could he leave me to be all cold and alone here?"

Huffing, he swung his legs across the bed to place his feet on the cold wooden floor. As he took a hold of the blanket corner over his knees, a sudden memory swept over him causing him to stop in his movements. A memory of last night, gasping awake to a voice—Lan Zhan's Voice—searching for him, shouting for him. He felt like his heart was breaking all over again knowing that the other had suffered so much last night. It almost felt like it had been another fever dream.

Recalling the abrupt end to his screams, he figured that Lan Xichen must have had to use a knocking-out talisman, and that fact just crushed him even further. Lan Zhan obviously hadn't been able to calm down without him there, and now he was supposed to go through that every night for a week? A pained sound escaped him from that thought. He should never have let him leave. He should have gone with him.

Shoving the blanket off of himself, he stood up with force and strode over to the nightstand in the corner where a bowl and a pitcher of water were set. He poured the water into the bowl with a little too much strength as some sloshed over the sides, before he hastily started splashing the refreshing coolness over his face, rubbing feeling back into his sleep-pressed skin.

When he picked up something soft to dry himself with, he inhaled and focused on his connection to Lan Wangji. He felt a sort of peace, the kind that came with sleeping, but he also felt resistance, like Lan Wangji was trying to wake up but couldn't.

Pondering on that for a moment, a thought crossed his mind: Maybe Lan Zhan has realised he can't be away anymore and comes back today.

Last night was surely too grieving. Surely too painful. He will want to come home now won't he? He must want to.

I want him to.

Returning to the bed, he bent down to pick up his robes that he had thrown to crumple on the floor and got dressed. He combed through his hair and fetched another of his red ribbons from a draw, fixing it neatly around his bun. He wondered if Lan Zhan had found grief or solace in the one he had wrapped around his wrist, desperately hoping it was of the latter. The need to comfort him, to hold him, to tell him he was alright, was being pumped around his body along with his blood. It was a fierce need. One that he had to indulge, lest he be poisoned with it.

Remembering that Lan Wangji had arranged for Sizhui and Lan Qiren to check on his condition some four times a day, Wei Wuxian decided that he would first stop by the Lecture Hall to politely interrupt the class with a smile and a wave to let them both know that yes, he was alive and not in any walk-hindering pain. He knew that although Old Man Lan would definitely give him a face for "disturbing the learning minds", he would be, at least a little bit, relieved to see his beloved nephew's husband recovering well. Even if that came in the form of hurling some object towards him.

As he opened the Jingshi slides, his smile was quickly chased away. His jaw dropped— he had forgotten how paralyzingly freezing it was. The snow had continued to fall all through the night and it didn't look like it would stop for a while, the sky brimming with clouds, blocking out the sun rays. There was no warmth to be felt except for the layers of material he had buried himself in. Though he could do with something more.

Pondering for a moment, he darted back inside and rummaged through a woven basket with some neatly folded robes in it. "Aha!" He found exactly what he was looking for.

It was one of Lan Wangji's outer robes, still smelling like his fresh sandalwood-self. He draped it over himself like a cloak and pulled the sides of it together in a grasp against his chest. Now he was ready to go!

He shut the slides as fast as he opened them, eager to preserve the Yunmeng-like temperature within the Jingshi. All the Lans would no doubt call it sweltering but he found it rather comfortable, familiar.

He might have to open a window when Lan Zhan gets back, however.

Wandering off through the snowy Cloud Recesses this early felt particularly adventurous, as if he wasn't supposed to be out. In some ways he wasn't, he never got up this early—he just didn't need or want to.

Despite him being physically wide awake, mentally he still felt like he was floating among the clouds. Thankfully this didn't stop him from remembering to tread carefully through the snow, as Lan Wangji had kept reminding him gently, so that he didn't slip or lose his footing. Thinking about seeing him soon made Wei Wuxian's heart stutter and he grew eager in his steps. It had barely even been a day since the other had left but he so desperately wanted to be with him. He wanted to put a stop to Lan Zhan's nightly suffering. He needed to.

Approaching the Lecture Hall he could hear the low, gruff voice of Lan Qiren as he was talking about some particularly horrifying beast or something of the like. He walked up the steps and peered through inside by wedging his face between the slides that had been left slightly ajar. Taking in the sight of the rigid man's serious, stoic expression turning into one that was scandalised upon seeing Wei Wuxian's face smooshed through the slides was highly amusing. The disciples who had been attentively staring at the Grandmaster moved to look at what had caused him to suddenly be so disgraced. They obviously felt the same amusement as someone began squawking with laughter while others raised a hand to their mouths, respectfully trying to hide their expressions with their wide sleeves. Lan Sizhui just smiled widely at him, happy that his a-die was indeed alright after the night.

"Oh hello there everyone," Wei Wuxian said through his squished cheeks. "Just passing by to see how you're all getting on!"

Lan Sizhui looked like he was itching to jump up and go over to him but everyone quickly schooled themselves when Lan Qiren stood up abruptly and threw a book at Wei Wuxian.

He truly hadn't expected anything less.

"Wei Wuxian! You are disturbing the learning minds, you must leave this instant or I will be handing you a personalised punishment," he threatened, "and do not even think about using Wangji as a shield, he is not here to stop me!"

"That was my only excuse," Wei Wuxian mumbled, ducking as another book was hurled at him. Surely throwing books that were likely sacred was against the rules.

"Wei Wuxian!" Lan Qiren was looking like he would need a very long sit down after this.

Knowing where he was most definitely unwelcome, Wei Wuxian giggled like he was a teenager again and ran off down the corridors.

"Study well kids!" He shouted back to them.

Oh how he loved to be mischievous like that, it was just too fun. Perhaps he should take advantage of his husband not being here to play a few pranks on some elders. Now that would be fun.

It didn't take long for him to get to the path that led down the mountain to the gates, so he began his descent. His wounds weren't hurting so much today; apart from a bit of aching, a few stings every now and then, and- "Ow, that hurt," he interrupted his thoughts. Okay, maybe it was all still hurting a tiny bit more than he had hoped. It had been just over a week since he was injured, and only 3 days since he was discharged from the infirmary. It was still fresh, but he couldn't help wanting to rush his recovery, it was just going so slow. 

After what must have been thousands of steps, he finally came to the gate. He took a seat on the cold, snow-covered stone underneath the arch and sighed wistfully. He didn't quite know why he decided to come here again. Perhaps this was just a nice place to think amongst the wintery forest.

He closed his eyes and listened to the wind rustling through the bowing trees. To the robins that perched on snow-dusted branches and sang out their wintery tunes. To the rabbits nearby that were hopping through the shrubbery. That gentle, calming sound of nature coming together. Though he wasn't fond of sitting still for so long he did enjoy this ambience. It was almost perfect.

As he glided his fingers slowly over the seams of the white sleeves, he just wished his other half was here next to him to enjoy it too

He continued to sit there even as the winter sun began to set, the pastel colours of a delicate pink, a pale blue and a gentle yellow painting the sky. The bunnies had since joined him in his quiet solitude, one of them nestling into his lap as he stroked his fingers through its snowy fur. There were no thoughts running through his mind, he just simply sat there, in a kind of dazy sadness, as if he was waiting for his Lan Zhan to return. Perhaps he was. But the sun sank further into the horizon and the light gradually faded and the air turned to ice and still, his Lan Zhan did not return.

Shivers began to rack through his body as the cold set in, making him realise that it was probably best to return to the Jingshi before it eventually began to snow. So, reluctantly, he picked up the little rabbit from his lap and set it down onto the ground before rising from the cross-legged position he had held for hours. His legs were stiff and wobbly after sitting for so long, prompting him to stretch them out a bit before attempting to walk. Thankfully it wasn't pitch black outside yet, so he could still see the path and the steps and the surroundings clearly.

He could not, however, see the black ice that was now sheeted across some steps halfway up, lying there in the shadows waiting to trap an unsuspecting person such as him.

With his now stretched out legs, he started up the path blissfully unaware of what was lying in wait. As he saw a few specks of white drifting in the air, he quickened his pace. Lan Zhan's voice telling him to "walk slowly so you do not slip" was echoing in his mind but he made the grave mistake of ignoring it this time.

Placing his right foot a little too hastily onto a step, unknowing of what was beneath his feet, made him regret that decision immediately as he slipped and fell forwards, whacking his head against a step edge. His body slid back down a couple steps before he thought to root himself with his foot.

Turning slowly to sit on the steps instead of kissing them, he brought a hand up to his face. There was a gash on his forehead and it throbbed where it had met the stone. That was going to leave a lovely scar for a while. One that he was definitely not going to be able to hide from Lan Zhan.

"Aiyahhhh, this is just not my day," he groaned.

Cautiously he stood up, and, with a hand clutching his aching stomach, decided it was best to walk much much slower up the steps. That was what he should have done in the first place. Lan Zhan would surely be hysterical if he knew about this.

The light was disappearing rapidly and the air just seemed to get colder and colder by the second. Without the moon acting as his lamp, he knew that it would get even more difficult to trudge his way up the steps and the paths. Without any talismans on him, (he really didn't plan to need any today), there was no way for him to create any source of light or to signal anyone to come and help him. This urged him to climb up them as fast and as carefully as he could: he was racing against the fading sun.

That was, until, a heavy dizziness shuddered over him, pressing him down and causing him to stop in his tracks. He crouched down and closed his eyes, hoping it would go away. He really didn't need this right now. It seemed like his head had only now realised what injury had been inflicted upon it and had decided that this was the best time to start crying about it.

He was all too familiar with this feeling: unconsciousness was calling to him. Feeling the control over his limbs start to wobble away, he started to blink rapidly as his eyes seemed to think he was running around in circles.

He pleaded with the throbbing in his head, with the spinning world before his eyes, with his constricting lungs: not now, please not now, I need to get back to the Jingshi, I can't faint here, not here, please not here.

Despite his pleas, they did not listen, and so darkness overtook him and Wei Wuxian slumped against the icy steps as little flecks of snow began to fall and gather in his hair.