Chapter Text
Ned Stark loves his children but sometimes it can be difficult to relate to them. They are so different. Robb was confident and at times arrogant, something that as a quite second child Ned never was. Sansa was always striving to be a perfect lady, and as Ned was a lord it could be hard at times to relate to her interests. Arya was just wild, with Ned seeing so much of his older brother and younger sister in her it was at times painful to watch and encourage her in her interests.
Bran was the most like him. The second child, unsure and having to live up to his brothers successes. The difference being that Bran has two older brothers to look up to and live up to. Rickon was only a babe so Ned didn’t know what to do much with him.
But Jon. His poor sweet and humble Jon. Out of all his children he was both the easiest and hardest to be with. Jon was a skilled swordsman, a natural prodigy. Jon was smart and at times cunning when he needed to be. And Jon had grown up the fastest and was by far the most mature, less a boy and more of a man then his older brother. A perfect Northman. He would be such a successful and strong northern lord if it wasn’t for his name.
Yes his name. Jon Snow. Often called Eddard Stark’s one mistake, Jon was a Bastard. A child born out of wedlock. A child with no claim to anything. No woman would marry him, so having a wife and children are out of the question, as Jon would never father bastards. Just one more way he was more honourable then his father. But no one would ever see that. To them Jon is just a bastard, a child born of lust that aims to take his true born siblings place as Lord Stark.
It hurts Ned to think about the curse he put a child of his through. He tried to give him the best life he could give him. Raise him at Winterfell with his siblings, have food in his plate, give him lessons a lord would receive. And Jon has had a happy life for a bastard. He’s loved by his siblings, even if Sansa tried to hide it for her mother’s sake, being best friends with Robb, and Bran and Arya’s role model.
But then his future haunts Ned. He’s given Jon the life of a young lord, with only a few people thinking of him as a bastard. But what will be do when he’s older? Ned knows Jon dreams of being a man of the Nights Watch, but how much of that is because he doesn’t think he could ever have another life? The Nights Watch was once a honourable burden to bare, but nowadays it was just a prison sentence in the cold with little food.
How could Ned send his son there? How could Ned raise him to be a lord only for him to go to the wall thinking it’s his only choice. They both know his wife will never except a Snow as a part of the household, even her husbands. Catelyn has made it very clear she does not like Jon around.
And it’s moments like these that hurt Ned the most.
“There’s five of them Lord Stark, three males and two females. One for each of your true born children.” Jon explained, trying to convince Ned to let the direwolves live and give to his children. His true born children.
A small tear drips down Neds stoic face, though he is sure no one has noticed it. Ned knows Jon has purposefully left himself out of the count, and if there was another wolf he would say it was for Ned. Because Jon has accepted that he is not a Stark. But he is. He may not have the name, but he has the blood.
But what if he did? What if Ned made Jon a Stark?
No Catelyn would never accept it.
‘But she is your wife with a life of comfort, while Jon is your son destined to live a life of hardship. Should you give your wife a little more pain and stop your son from a lifetime of suffering?’ Ned thought to himself.
The answer was simple. But could he do it? Could he make others think of Jon as a Stark and not a Snow?
His inner thoughts are paused as Jon picks up a white direwolf. The only one that’s white and the runt of the litter, it stands out just like Jon as the odd one out.
And the white wolf. Like Jon, the bastard of house Stark, with reverse colours. A white wolf in a field of grey.
Jon frowns and grimaces as he turns around to face him, being ashamed to even suggest that the runt is Neds.
Ned thinks different. It has answered his inner question. The dire wolves are the symbol of house Stark. None have been seen south of the wall for hundreds of years and suddenly 6 young ones appear. While there are 6 young Starks.
6 Starks that Ned feels like he’s failed.
‘I must do better, for all of them.’ Ned thinks to himself.
Before his son opens his mouth to speak Ned does.
“That ones yours son.”