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Talking his new husband through the Vegas wedding morning after, that, Dean had expected. Michael had assured him that he was not so drunk he couldn’t be trusted to make decisions, and not so drunk that he wouldn’t remember in the morning, but the drinking after the wedding might have changed the second part of it and been retroactive. Dean was not in the least worried about needing to get to the divorce court, and Sam had assessed Michael’s condition and agreed that he could be trusted to sign the paper and to agree to a wedding night. Michael’s cousin Castiel had also agreed, at least enough to sign the marriage license as a witness.
What Dean had not been prepared for was waking up to a strange man sitting in a chair beside his bed, Michael nowhere to be seen, and his clothes also missing. The man didn’t look too dangerous, but with Dean being naked… he was decidedly uncomfortable with the situation. At least he was covered by the blanket. The stranger grinned at him. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before, son. Nice to meet you. Name’s Chuck, but if you want, you can call me Pops or Dad or Father.”
“Um…” Dean sat up, being very careful to keep the blanket over important bits. “Who the hell are you, and why are you expecting me to call you that?”
“What, Chuck? Because it’s my name.” Chuck crossed his arms. “You had more of a father in your life than your brother, I’ll acknowledge, but between you and me?” He leaned forward, a smirk playing about his lips. “That’s really not saying much, is it. Of course, with Sam, there’s a bit more weirdness in him calling me Dad, since he’s married to my mother-in-law, so…”
“Wait, what?” Dean caught himself before he could get to his feet, but it was close. Chuck’s smirk grew, and Dean tried to force his brain to work. Yes, he’d known Sam was married to the hot redhead he’d brought to Dean’s wedding, since they’d changed it to be a double wedding, but how the hell old was his new sister-in-law if she was this guy’s mother-in-law? He had to be in his late forties at least, more likely fifties! Of course, he might be the kind of guy with a trophy wife who was eighteen…
“One of my husbands is her son Fergus.” One of? “The other one is my son’s cousin Castiel.”
“You married your nephew? Is that even legal… like, anywhere?!”
“Not in this country, anyway,” Chuck said. “My son’s maternal cousin. I am not related to him at all, at least not closely enough to be worried about.” That was so much better, although really fucking weird.
Speaking of weird, the other thing that was bugging him about that finally clicked. “Castiel? Michael’s cousin who came to the wedding last night?”
“The same. With Crowley, if you’ll remember. My husbands.”
“Crowley’s real name is Fergus? Huh?” Dean waved that off. It didn’t matter. He’d get it sorted out eventually. What he wanted was an answer to the big question. “So why the hell are you… wait. Wait a second.” Michael’s cousin Castiel was this guy’s husband. Castiel was this guy’s son’s cousin. “Why the hell am I waking up in Vegas with my father-in-law staring me down while I’m freakin’ naked, dude? What the hell? Where’s Michael?”
“Last I checked, he was telling off Castiel for having a big mouth, even though all Castiel did was confirm Crowley’s report that you and Michael were married in the same ceremony as Sam and Rowena. He will not be returning until I report that I am satisfied.”
“What.” Dean stared at Chuck in horror. He was starting to rethink whether he needed to head to divorce court – Michael was awesome, but Chuck? If this was how involved Chuck was going to be in things, did Dean really want to stick with it? And people called him overprotective of Sam and overinvolved in his life! There was no way he’d be pulling this shit with Rowena – and not just because Rowena was scary and he had self-preservation instincts. This was way past any sort of reasonable boundary. “No. Get the hell out of here, send my husband back in here, because I need to have a serious talk with him.” He grabbed his phone. “You’ve got five seconds before I’m calling the front desk to report an intruder in my room.”
“The front desk knows I’m here with Michael’s permission,” Chuck said.
“Michael’s not on the rental. This was my room. Guests of the resident can’t invite other guests without the actual resident’s permission.” Dean started a mental countdown as it looked like Chuck wouldn’t go anywhere. He’d just started dialing when Chuck got to his feet. “You leaving?”
“Yep. I’m satisfied.” Chuck walked to the door, pausing with his hand on the handle. “Michael doesn’t actually know I’m here. I got Castiel to call him away on a pretext of something he forgot to sign last night. I wanted to know that my son’s husband had the cojones to stand up to him. If you can stand up to me, you can stand up to him. Michael’s probably going to kill me for being here and interfering like this, but I needed to know. My son can be a bit strong-minded.” Chuck shot him a wink. “I think the two of you will be just fine. I’m off to see how Crowley’s interrogation of Sam went. Knowing Rowena, I rather suspect I’ll find him licking his wounds.”
Dean heard the explosion in the hallway as Chuck and Michael must have passed each other. From what he could hear of Michael’s shouting, Chuck had been telling the truth at the end there. That was a really huge fucking relief. He used the time to find the clothes Chuck must have hidden in the bathroom and get dressed. When Michael got in, the relief on his face convinced Dean to stick this marriage out. “Your dad’s a jackass, you know that?”
“Yes. Castiel’s done the legwork on finding an annulment place if you’re annoyed enough to back out, and I won’t fight you over it. I swear, I’m not him, and he’s normally not that awful, but this was one hell of an introduction. I’m so sorry.”
“I know. And because you’re sorry, I say forget the annulment, we’ll just have to stand up to your dad when he tries to pull shit.” He pulled Michael into a kiss. “Now, if you agree, we just need to go to the front desk and get a room your family doesn’t know about so there’s no repeats. From what you’ve told me about your twin, I’m not sure we’re not in for a repeat performance tomorrow.”