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Something was wrong, but it wasn’t until Castiel entered his bedroom that he realized what it was. Hannah had a suitcase open and half-full of the things she had accumulated in the past few months, wiping away a tear as she collected the few clothes left in the dresser. “Hannah? What are you doing?”
“You have your grace back now,” Hannah said, voice completely flat despite her tears. “It’s time for me to leave.”
“I’d have thought you’d be happy about leaving if that’s what you wanted to do.” If it wasn’t what she wanted to do, he couldn’t imagine why she would be leaving. As it was, he was rather surprised she was leaving – she had seemed rather happy here in the Bunker. She joined in on family activities with Castiel and Sam and Dean, chosen a room for herself that she hadn’t decorated much but had made hers, and in general adapted quite easily to the life. They were working on recovering Castiel’s grace, yes, but life went on and there were hunts to go on and concerts to attend.
Hannah shook her head, crossing the room with the handful of clothes to put in the suitcase. “We had a goal to accomplish. We’ve accomplished it. I have no reason to stay.”
“I don’t understand. I don’t have a goal to accomplish in staying here, either, and yet I do.” Castiel wanted to take the clothes and put them back where they belonged, but there must be a reason why Hannah felt the need to leave, and he would respect that. He just wanted to understand before she left.
Hannah looked up at Castiel, head tilted in confusion. “They’re your friends. Your family, in a way that the angels aren’t anymore. You know you’ll have a place in Heaven and among the host as long as I’m able to fight for you, but we both know you belong here, now.”
“Then why leave? I know you must have work to do up there, but you’re taking your things. There’s no need for them in Heaven, so why not leave them here? Make this a base for when you have reason to be on Earth?”
“Because… why would Sam and Dean allow it?” Hannah stammered, not looking at Castiel as she rearranged her suitcase. Castiel squinted as he thought he recognized the shirt he had loaned her when she first arrived and had nothing of her own. “I can find a place to store this where I’m not intruding on anyone, and have them for other scenarios where I may need to go undercover as a human or want something.”
“Or you could leave them here, and have a place you knew wouldn’t be accidentally discovered or disrupted, and come back.” Castiel reached out, putting a hand on Hannah’s arm. “Why do you feel like you have to leave? Has Dean not…” Of course Dean hadn’t. It had taken years and Castiel almost not coming here when he desperately needed the Winchesters’ help before he realized Dean truly thought of him as a brother. Why had he expected something different here, with Hannah? “Hannah, Dean and Sam would welcome you staying. Dean was just asking the other day if you would be willing to celebrate Halloween with us. Sam doesn’t enjoy it and I’m usually willing to stay with Sam and watch movies or whatever, so he was hoping you would support him in doing something more fun with him.”
“But… my task here is done,” Hannah protested. “Castiel, I…” She paused, letting her silence stretch out for a long enough time that Sam or Dean would have jumped in. Not Castiel. If Hannah needed the time to find her words, he would let her have it, and if she wasn’t going to find her words, she would tell him that. “There are… feelings. I don’t know how to deal with them, but if I return to Heaven, it will be easier.”
Now that, Castiel could understand. “Dean, Sam, me, or some combination?” For him, it had been Dean. Dean would never return the feelings, although Hannah would have a better chance than he ever had, since her human form was female. If it were one of the Winchesters, Castiel could help her learn to cope through his own experience, and if it were him, Castiel could do even more.
“You. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t dump this on you, but…”
Castiel stepped close, pulling Hannah into a gentle hug. “We’re redefining what it means to be an angel, in the wake of everything. I see no reason why we shouldn’t explore feelings. Hannah, I have always had a great deal of respect for you…”
Hannah’s tears returned. “There’s no need to let me down easy, Castiel. I’m not human.”
“No, but you can still be hurt.” Castiel tipped her face up to look at him. “I wasn’t planning on letting you down. Please allow me to finish.” Hannah nodded. “I have always had a great deal of respect for you, and my time with the Winchesters and as a human has taught me to recognize my emotions for what they are. I love you, Hannah. I know that other angels are more in touch with their feelings than the soldiers, but it never occurred to me that you might develop feelings while you were here in human form. If you still feel like you need to go, I’ll understand, but I’m hoping that will change your mind.”
“Dean and Sam don’t mind me staying?” Hannah whispered. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. If you want to talk to them, it certainly can’t hurt anything other than Dean’s impatience with conversations about feelings, but he’ll suck it up and get through it.”
“No, that’s… if one of them brings it up, we can have the conversation then, but if not, you’ve known them so much longer. I’ll take your word for it.” She stretched up, lightly touching her lips to Castiel’s cheek. “I do have to go to report in, make sure that the things I left are progressing and that the others can reach me if I’m needed. If you’d like to, you can unpack so we can get straight to more pleasant things when I return, but I will return.”