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“Hey, uh, Dean?” Tracy twirled the end of her hair around a finger. “Your brother’s not looking so good. We thought it was just one of those things, but he’s been like this for over an hour. Since the kissing game.”
Shit. Dean had volunteered for the kissing game without realizing the problem it would cause – surely no one would make him kiss his brother, right? What kind of weirdos would blindfold a man, tell him he had to pick out his partner based on a kiss, and then send his brother over to kiss him? Apparently, these weirdos. He couldn’t exactly admit to knowing what was going on, though. “Huh. What, is he embarrassed about me volunteering for the game?”
Tracy shrugged. “With him? Who knows. He’s such a weirdo, it’s not like anyone would think anything of him kissing you, why make such a big deal out of it? It was just a bit of fun.”
Closing his eyes for a minute, Dean forced a few deep breaths until he could feel his hands unclenching. It was unfair, being this pissed at Tracy for not understanding Sam when it had taken his brother more than once to really explain things properly to Dean. “Sammy’s asexual. He’s not into any of this at all.”
“Oh, please. Sam’s seventeen. Early bloomer in the brain department, maybe, with him being at college already, but he’s just a late bloomer romantically.” Tracy giggled and winked at Dean. “Maybe now that he’s had a kiss, he’ll decide he likes it and want more!”
“Wrong.” God, if he’d sounded half that dismissive the first time Sam tried to explain this to him… he owed himself a punch in the face and Sam about a million apologies. “That’s not how it works. He’s old enough to know he just isn’t interested in people like that. Even if you’re right, and somewhere along the line he does start developing interests in people, who the hell gave you the right to force him out of his boundaries?” Dean started to storm off, but realized the tiny flaw in that plan. “Where is he, anyway?”
“Hiding under the stairs, like always.” Tracy took a step toward Dean, but Dean went out of his way to avoid her as he headed for the stairwell.
Sam got to his feet to follow Dean without a word as soon as Dean caught his eyes. Instead of heading straight for the door, they detoured to collect Gabriel. Uncharacteristically, Sam headed for the back seat. When it was just the two of them, without Dad, Sam always rode up front. Gabriel gave Sam a bewildered look before taking the front seat and turning around to stare at the boy huddled in the back. “What’s wrong, kiddo?”
“I’m being unreasonable and stupid, that’s all.” Sam curled up a little tighter.
Dean snorted. “C’mon, dude, I know they were kind of jerks making you kiss me and all, but you have every right to be upset by them pressuring you after you said no until you gave in. If you’re worried, I’m not mad at you at all. I’m pissed at Tracy.”
“It’s not that.” Sam shook his head, hair falling in his face. “I know I have a right to be pissed about that, but really, I was just playing the part of protesting to make sure nobody thought it was weird that I went through with it. You know perfectly well I have no problem kissing you.”
Okay, but now Dean was thoroughly confused. If it wasn’t about the girls pressuring him, then what was bothering Sam? “If this is because I didn’t pick you…”
“Hell no. How stupid would that have been?” But Sam curled up a little tighter. “At least you recognized me?”
“Of course I did. You and Gabe, no one else.”
“And this is where I’m being stupid. I know why you and Gabriel are doing what you’re doing, but part of me feels betrayed that you were able to pick him out.” Sam curled up even tighter. “I know I’m being ridiculous. But I can’t stop!”
Gabriel turned to where he could reach a hand back, finding Sam’s elbow to give it a pat. “Would it help if I told you I made sure Dean would recognize me by slipping him the Jolly Rancher I was sucking on at the time?”
“Dean?”
“I…” Truth or lie here? Dean’s instinct was to lie, to take the easy out that Gabriel was giving him. Gabriel might even believe it. On the other hand, when Sam had managed to get through to him that despite his asexuality, he wasn’t sex repulsed or celibate, and he might not be sexually attracted to Dean but he was interested in the relationship that he could tell Dean wanted, John sat down with them. He made it clear to them that if they were going to do this, he wasn’t going to stop them, but that they needed to be damned careful about being found out – and damned careful about pulling the kind of little white lies or “for their own good” type things that they might see their friends doing. After all, if they broke up, they were losing so much more than a convenient roll in the hay or even a friend. “I’d have recognized him anyway, Sam. It’s not like you. With you, it’s immediate, it’s a feeling like the entire world is gone and it’s just you and me and nothing else matters. With Gabe, it’s fun, everything feels great, but there’s nothing more to it. I’m not going to ditch you for him.”
Gabriel nodded his agreement. “Samshine, me and Dean have fun, but that’s all it is. If you ask us to, we can stop this any time. I’ll find somewhere else to have my fun, and Dean will be all yours.”
“And that’s it? It’s that easy for you to just give up on him?” Sam pressed.
Gabriel shrugged. “I’m not in love with him. He’s not in love with me. You’d never ask us to end our friendship, just the fake dating stuff we’re doing to give him some cover to protect you two. So yeah, it’s that easy. Not everything’s a fanfic, kiddo.”
“What he said. It’s fun, but it’ll never be more than that,” Dean promised. “You good?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m…” Sam let himself relax. “I’m good. Most of the time, I know this, but… I dunno. Insecurity kicking in, I guess. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for that,” Dean said. “We all have it. You’ve gotten me through, what, two rounds of I’m taking advantage of you by making you give me something you’re not really interested in? I can take my turn to reassure you that I love you and you’re the only one for me. I love you.”