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The blearing six AM alarm was always a terrible shock to the system. Even worse when Ayabe found himself already awake before it after another sleepless night, the sound causing him to jump and almost drop the cigarette he was half-enjoying, back pressed against his window. Heaving a deep sigh, he fumbled with the phone, shutting off the offending alarm before dropping it against his desk, returning back to his spot, dark eyes half-closed as he breathed in the nicotine, the sensation grounding him.
Below him, Kamurocho, a city that slept about as much as he did, began to stir. He was only three stories up, living above a store and a café. He watched, apathetically, as a few salarymen hurried to their office job. He could hear their conversation as they complained about their boss. ‘Yeah, lucky yours didn’t try to frame you for a crime you didn’t commit.’ He thought, smirking at his own private joke.
This one-roomed apartment was terrible, but it was cheap and kept him away from the reporters that for the past several months or so had hounded him.
The AD-9 trial was just about seven months ago, now, and his life had been irreversibly flipped upside down. He’d lost his position as a detective in the Kamuro polices’ organized crime division, understandably, considering his less than legal side hustle - Thank you, Yagami, for getting me out of that one – and had been evicted from his previous (much nicer) apartment, when the press that had followed him about had angered enough of his neighbours. He still technically had his casino, but it needed severe remodelling after the fight Kuroiwa and Yagami had in there, and he didn’t quite have the energy for that yet.
Finding work was proving difficult, given his reputation. People either associated him with a serial killer or as a snake in the grass, which was a much fairer assessment, but one that severely impacted his ability to find work. With nothing to occupy him, his days slipped by in a blur. The only time anything of note would happen is when Yagami and his ragtag band of cohorts would invite him out, but alas, even that had to come to an end when Ayabe could no longer justify the cost of going out. He was no Yagami, who seemed determined to piss his money down the drain.
That, and spending time with the ex-lawyer was always a dangerous affair for either his dick or his heart, he couldn’t decide which. It was normal to have some sort of feelings or desire for someone who had essentially saved your life, right?
Touching those thoughts always set him on edge, so Ayabe stabbed out the cigarette, harder than necessary and pushed off against the wall, trailing over to his cluttered desk. He dropped into his chair (one of the nice comfy ones from the police department that he had somehow stolen last year) and began to tap half-heartedly at the keys on his shabby laptop. The fan whirred loudly, and Ayabe willed it to last just a few months longer. He had applied for a few jobs, and so he clicked through his emails, deleting all of the irritating spam mailers.
His cursor hovered over one email before he could click delete, however.
Here is a coupon for 50% on a Beef Bowl! Happy birthday!
Ayabe swallowed. ‘Oh yeah,’ He thought, dimly. ‘That is today.’ Shaking himself, he tried to ignore that lonely hole that gnawed at him more and more as each day passed. His current predicament was pathetic and depressing, yes, but he had been alone long before the AD-9 business started, long before he even became a dirty cop. He’d never had anybody to celebrate his birthday with before.
Telling himself that, he shrugged. ‘What’s another lonely year gonna do?’
The sound of a click startled Ayabe from his sleep, his back straightening sharply as he pushed out of his sleep. “Woah, woah, calm down Ayabe-san!” A too cheerful voice laughed.
Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Ayabe’s eyes snapped to the figure that stood in front of his desk, his phone in one hand. Narrowing his eyes, Ayabe hissed out a “What the fuck are you doing here, man?”
Yagami smirked, slipping his phone – was he taking pictures of me asleep? – into his pocket as casually as he could, despite being caught red-handed. The taller man offered a half-shrug. "Not very fun, waking up to someone in your place unexpectedly, is it?"
“Fair point,” Ayabe deadpanned, but mentally considered the cost of changing his locks. It was funny when he did it to him, not the other way round, damn it. Still feeling the effects of the adrenaline that coursed through his body from the rude awakening, Ayabe shoved his hands into his pockets to hide their tremor. Sitting back down, he nodded towards an armchair for Yagami to sit down before asking, “So, to what do I owe the pleasure? Did you need something?”
Yagami gave him a weird look. “What do you mean, do I need something? Nah, dude, it’s your birthday!”
Ayabe’s heart stuttered, touched that the detective had remembered it, but also hating him for once more triggering his awkward feelings. “So?” He asked, feigning indifference instead.
“So, we’re going out, obviously." Yagami rolled his eyes as if his suggestion were obvious.
Ayabe keenly felt that hollow emptiness that loneliness had left in him. Felt that quiet ache that had followed him since his adolescence. Of course, Yagami would’ve remembered his birthday, no doubt information the detective had stolen away when he saw it on his arrest record. And of course, the loud, extroverted fool would be kind enough to seek him out. Yagami was a “leave no man behind” kind of friend, it was why he had begun to invite him out after the AD-9 case was solved and he had no real reason to speak to him. We’ve all been through the same weird shit, Yagami had said once, but we’ve gone through it together, so we can get over it together, too. It had been incredibly cheesy, but Yagami was about five drinks in when he’d said it, but he had been earnest.
Ayabe had a couple good reasons why he should say no. Emotionally, he was nervous about getting too attached to someone as bright as Yagami. Pragmatically, he couldn’t afford the night out. Instead, Ayabe eyed Yagami’s bright grin as he lounged in his armchair like he belonged there, hands behind his head and he said, “Sure. What have you got in mind?”
Ayabe should've guessed Tender would be the place of choice. It made sense, within walking distance of both of their apartments, with a quiet intimate atmosphere that meant they could lounge around undisturbed, and a bartender that knew them both well. Maybe Masuda would even let him put his drinks on a tab, so he didn't have to worry too much about what saying yes to Yagami would cost him.
Yagami carried the conversation the entire walk there, catching him up on some of the crazier cases that he had to suffer through. A perverted trifecta, harassing a pair of siblings. Ayabe chuckled. Kamurocho sure brought in its fair share of freaks. "The brother is a bit of a weirdo; he keeps trying to make me sleep with his sister."
Ayabe stumbled, catching himself against Yagami’s arm and laughing. “What the hell?” Ayabe righted himself, turning to glare at the bit of pavement that he had caught himself on. “Pft, the life of a pretty boy sure sounds tiring. I’m glad I’m not much to look at if that’s what you get when you’re hot.”
Yagami pushed his shoulder roughly. “Shut up, you’re not ugly, dude.”
Ayabe shrugged, grinning, enjoying the easy banter. “Hey, I said not much to look at, not ugly. You said that.” Holding a hand over his chest, he mockingly added, “How hurtful, Yagami-san. And on my birthday, too?”
Yagami snorted. “Hey, I said you’re not ugly!”
“Wow, if that’s the kind of flattery I can look forward to getting from you tonight maybe I should’ve reconsidered your offer.”
Against his better judgement, Ayabe felt pleased with the half-compliment, which then made him annoyed at himself. Internally, he sighed, but then the door to Tender was in front of them and Yagami pushed ahead, opening the door for him. Raising an eyebrow, Ayabe stepped forward and crossed the threshold.
“Happy birthday!”
Ayabe paused, breath caught in his throat. Wide eyes blinked owlishly, surprise causing his face to slacken.
Yagami had apparently gone through the effort of arranging a surprise party, gathering his group of friends to celebrate. Within him confusion mixed with a tentative joy, as well as that pit of anxiety that recently had shown itself when he found himself around Yagami’s friends. ‘My friends, too, apparently.' In his jacket pockets, his hands shook. Turning wonderous eyes to Yagami, he realised Yagami was watching for his reaction, eagerly. "Hah! You should see your face, didn't expect that didya?” he asked. 'No. No, I did not.’ He thought.
“Don’t worry, I snapped a pic. Aw, he looks like a deer in headlights.” Kaito said, turning the phone to present it to them.
“He always looks like that,” the redhead – Sugiura – quipped, smile partially hidden behind the lip of a beer bottle. “Yo, Ayabe-san! Yagami-san set this all up for ya. Cool, huh? I’ve always wanted to be a part of a surprise party.”
“Very cool,” he said, attempting to keep his voice neutral, unwilling to show how deeply the whole event had affected him. “Thank you for coming to celebrate little old me.”
“Ayabe-san!” Yagami waved him over to a free seat at the bar, a whisky sat there waiting for him. Oh dear, he was in trouble. Nowhere to go now, though, he couldn’t exactly run out of his own birthday party, and honestly, he didn’t want to. Shucking off his jacket, he folded it over one arm and slid into the chair offered to him, smiling gratefully at Masuda, who said that this was on him. Birthdays were good for getting free drinks, at least. ‘And being the centre of attention of your weird crush.’ Ayabe thought, eyeing Yagami as he launched into the story of how he planned the whole night. Ayabe let himself relax and just enjoy the night.
Throughout the night various people came to wish him a happy birthday and buy him a drink. Hoshino, Kaito, Higashi, Sugiura. And of course, Yagami, who had sat with him the entire night. During the previous group's hangouts, Yagami would often be bombarded with attention from the everyone and would eventually leave him to mingle with the others, leaving Ayabe to stare after him gloomily, keenly feeling the absence of Yagami’s presence.
Ayabe had few friends growing up, and the ones he did have often outshone him in every category. Looks, charisma, talent. People like that, like Yagami, were a beacon of light, drawing people in. Yagami had a rotating cast of friends, bonds that through this or that were unshakeable. Ayabe was just some loser scumbag ex-cop, and what had initially brought them into each other's orbit was gone now that he no longer had access to confidential information and Yagami no longer needed it. He had anticipated that now the AD-9 case was done, and he had no further use that Yagami and Co. would’ve forgotten him, moving on.
But Yagami was stubborn and friendly. And truthfully, his friends were the same. Occasionally messaging him, including him in their chaotic plans. None of them put quite the same amount of effort into including him as Yagami, but they still tried. It was more than any other group of people prior had done. Hell, none of his old co-workers had even bothered to check to see if he was okay after everything had gone down.
Ayabe, head in his hand, half-listened to some long-winded story Kaito told the group, everyone stood in a loose circle with Ayabe still in the seat Yagami had urged him into hours before, an amused smile tilting the corner of his mouth, laughing at his animated hand movements that caused him to half pour his beer onto Higashi, who loudly cursed, shoulders spiking up like an enraged cat.
Ayabe’s glass was removed from his hand, and he glanced down to see Yagami pushing another onto his hand. “Are you trying to get me drunk, Yagami-sensei?” He asked, sarcastically.
Yagami snorted but wiggled his eyebrows salaciously. “Maybe. Is that a problem?”
Despite himself, his lip curled into a full smile. “Be careful, Yagami-sensei, I might think you’re flirting with me.” God, he wished.
“Hey knock that ‘sensei’ shit off!”
Ayabe smirked. “Fine. The question still stands, Yagami-san.”
"You never actually asked me a question." Yagami pointed out, voice tinged with good-natured humour.
Ayabe huffed. “It was an implied question.”
“Oh really?” Yagami asked, eyes glancing at the group to see that they were all still listening to Kaito’s story to listen to their half-murmured conversation. Ayabe realised the two of them had inched closer, their heads turned and bowed towards each other slightly, so they could hear each other. Ayabe swallowed thickly, throat suddenly dry. Yagami’s eyes seemed to follow the movement, and Ayabe cursed his perceptiveness. “Thirsty, Ayabe-san?” Yagami asked, teasingly, tapping a finger against the hand that held his glass. “Good thing I refilled your glass, hm?”
Yagami winked – the smug bastard - but turned when he heard his name, and for once Ayabe was glad that someone else had captured his attention so he could get a moment to himself. He lifted the drink and gulped it down, focusing instead on the warmth that made a home in his stomach instead of the butterflies that had made a home in his chest.
God, he was really going to regret this tomorrow.
But this was the happiest he had felt in a long time.
So, when he turned and caught Yagami’s eye, he returned the secretive grin with his own.
The night wore on. Hoshino was the first to leave, stumbling out of the door with his stoic girlfriend patiently leading the way. Sugiura was next, and then Kaito and Higashi. And then it was just the two of them. It was one AM, and he could tell that Masuda was waiting for them to call it quits. Sliding down from the barstool, Ayabe laced his hand behind his back and stretched, grunting. “I guess that’s us done for the night, too.” Ayabe was impressed that he only slurred his words a little, but he was no longer able to hide the wistfulness in his voice. Like a teenager on a date, wanting to prolong their goodbye.
Ayabe didn’t want the night to be over.
Apparently, Yagami didn't either, because then he grabbed Ayabe's arm excitedly. "Nooooo, you can’t call it quits yet, Ayabe-kun!" Somewhere between drink five and now Yagami had begun calling him 'kun’, and the familiarity was bittersweet. “Nothing beats ending a night with some greasy fast food!”
Before he could protest – it’s too late, I’m tired, I’m broke – Yagami had dragged him out the door. “You two kids have fun!” Masuda shouted, with a chuckle.
If he had truly wanted to, he could’ve pushed away Yagami’s hand and gone home. But the truth was, it was rare for him to have the sole attention of anyone, especially Yagami, and it was hard to say no when a handsome man was gripping you with strong hands and smiling down at you. "Fine," he sighed as if put out, but unable to hide his own smile. "You're a terrible influence, you know."
“So I’ve been told,” Yagami laughed, the two of them drunkenly stumbling into each other as they walked and tried to avoid the other similarly drunk pedestrians. “Okay, so, have you ever heard of Smile Burgers secret menu before?”
They were running.
It was two AM, and the two of them were running haphazardly through the winding streets of Kamurocho.
Behind them, a group of thugs hollered and chased after them. Apparently, they had found something about Yagami offensive and had started getting ready to fight. Yagami sighed, rolled his eyes and promptly thrown his smile shake into the leader’s face, using the time their shock brought them to grab Ayabe’s hand and begin sprinting full throttle away.
They had been running for a solid five minutes, and Ayabe’s lungs and legs burned – he hadn’t done any exercise in months – and the stupid lumbering idiots still hadn't given up. Yagami seemed used to this though, expertly weaving around corners that Ayabe hadn't known was there. The two slipped into a passageway, their breaths thunderous in the quiet of the little alleyway. Almost like it was a cartoon, the group of colourful gang members ran past, seemingly not noticing them half a foot away. "Fucking Keihin bastards.” Yagami said, as if that explained it, his hot breath fanning against his face in a way that him on edge.
“Does…Does this happen a lot, Yagami-san?" Ayabe wheezed, leaning against the wall opposite him, head tilted back and pressed into the blessedly cool bricks behind him. The alleyway was narrow, and their knees pressed into the others.
“You have no idea. Feels like I can’t go five feet without someone picking a fight with me.” Yagami lifted a hand and brushed back his sweaty bangs, lips curving into a smirk. “Did you see that guy’s face after I threw my shake into it?” They shared a laugh, which tapered off into a weirdly charged silence as they stared at each other.
“I was, by the way.”
“Huh?” Ayabe asked, head spinning from a mix of the alcohol, and Yagami’s suddenly serious look.
“I was flirting, earlier.”
Ayabe stilled, breath halting in his lungs. He wasn't sure what to say, but instead, he just pushed himself forwards and up onto his tiptoes, grasping the vee of Yagami’s signature white shirt and pulling him down into a frenzied kiss. Yagami tasted of cigarettes and Asahi beer, not the best combination maybe, but Ayabe was desperate for more. Yagami responded to the kiss immediately, his hands sliding to Ayabe’s narrow hips and pulling him closer, groaning their Ayabe slipped his tongue into Yagami’s mouth. Never backing down from a challenge, Yagami’s tongue rose to meet his, easily dominating Ayabe’s, pushing into his own mouth and licking into him. Ayabe reached the hand not fisted in Yagami’s shirt up and into his hair, raking fingers through the now sweat-slick strands, blunt nails scraping against his skull, dragging another groan from the taller man.
When they pulled away, saliva connected them, and Yagami reached up, cleaning up the substance with a swipe of his thumb. “Do you wanna come back to mine?”
“No.” Ayabe felt a stab of mean spirited joy at his deflated expression. “Your place is terrible. I have a bed, unlike you.”
Yagami laughed, the fingers against his hips flexing promisingly. “I’m sure we can make use of it.”