Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Talking to Strangers
JONGIN
"There are always flowers for those who want to see them." - Henri Matisse
Brows furrowed in deep concentration, Jongin gingerly inserted the final stalk of white Grandiflora into a sea of varicolored blooms. Rays of sunlight streamed through clear glass windows, bathing the work room in a soft, natural light. He checked his watch - he had two more hours before the wedding centerpiece he was working on had to be delivered, and he had pretty much completed it. As always, Jongin sat back and evaluated the balance of the arrangement and the color composition, his dark brown eyes focused and assessing.
He was readjusting one of the champagne rose blooms in the center of the arrangement when his phone buzzed in his back pocket. It was Luhan calling. And speaking of Luhan, why wasn't he back at the shop? There was a huge bouquet of spring flowers due for delivery.
"Jongin! There's a three-car pileup on the freeway. I think I'm going to be stuck here for hours man, and it's fricking melting out here." Luhan's exasperation was tangible through the phone, "There's no way I can get back in time to pick up that spring bouquet - you're gonna have to deliver it, ok? Sehun is sick as a dog at home so ... yeah, I'm sorry Jongin, but it's gotta be you."
"What? Me? Talk to strangers? No ... Don't want to," the reluctance practically dripped from his voice.
"Well Chanyeol doesn't know a steering wheel from a gas pedal so we're out of options. It's the Meyer Building downtown, ok? And the bouquet is for a Ms. Gennifer Hynes. You have 40 minutes - don't be late! I'm going to hang up now. Gotta fan myself before I pass out. It's like the Sahara out here. Good luck, Jongin!"
Jongin was still miserably contemplating his bad luck when his phone vibrated again. It was a text from Luhan. A selca. Sweaty strands of honey gold hair clung to his face, and an annoyed expression screwed up his deceptively cherubic features (because honestly, Luhan was a troll of the highest order and there was nothing remotely angelic about his nature). In the background, Jongin saw cars, lots and lots of cars.
Trollhan : I'd trade places if I could. I'm in the desert while you get Meyer Building's arctic level AC. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Dork!
Shy Boy : Ok ok. But trust me I'd take the freeway jam over talking to strangers any day of the week :(
Trollhan : Stfu. And don't be late!
It wasn't that Jongin couldn't talk to people. He could. He could even be charming when he tried to or wanted to make the effort. It's just that Jongin needed to get used to people first - so talking to strangers freaked him out a little and he tried to avoid it as much as possible. But he could do it when he had to and it definitely looked like he was going to have to whip out his conversational skills today. Thank God people didn't actually expect delivery guys to be chatty because he was always a touch shy and awkward. He looked wistfully at the centrepiece on the table. That's why he liked working with flowers - they didn't expect him to make small talk.
Jongin gave a long, drawn out sigh and prepared himself for the unpleasant errand.
--------
As it turned out, Gennifer Hynes worked in the Accounting Department. Jongin was standing just outside the office, holding a large bouquet of gerberas, tulips and ranunculus - a simple but elegant bouquet that his talented assistant Chanyeol had put together.
Jongin was about to press the bell on the counter when he saw a young man standing nearby. He was leaning over a desk, poring over a stack of important looking documents. Dressed in a navy blue pin-striped shirt with a plain gray silk necktie, the Meyer employee had fair skin and jet black hair which was cut in a neat, conservative style. Jongin looked at his own tanned skin and patted his slightly messy straight bangs self-consciously. Where Jongin was loose-limbed and tall, this man was compact and small-built. Jongin kind of liked the extreme contrast between their body types. If only he could see his face though, he thought regretfully.
He continued staring at the man as he reached out his finger and pressed the button. As the metallic "ding" sounded, he turned towards Jongin, and as he felt the sensation of two large, intense eyes turn their gaze on him, Jongin suddenly felt a little light-headed.
"Yes? Can I help you?" the handsome man asked in a rich, deep voice.
And Jongin just stared. His mouth tried desperately to form words but try as hard as he could, they just wouldn't come ...
Chapter 2: The Handsome Accountant
JONGIN
"Hello? I'm guessing those flowers are for someone?" the stranger's low and somehow chocolatey voice was completely at odds with his slight figure. And Jongin became aware too, of how sharp his nose was, how wide and high his forehead was, and how all these different elements just came together to make a quietly arresting face that took his breath away.
The man asked whom he was looking for again but Jongin was struggling to remember his own name let alone the name of the person the flowers were meant for. Gynes? Hennifer? What the hell was her name again?
"Perhaps if you looked at the card on the bouquet?" the man asked helpfully. He looked slightly amused and Jongin wanted to die of embarrassment. Why couldn't he be smooth like Luhan, he lamented. He looked at the gift card like the man had suggested before he could humiliate himself any further - assuming that was even possible.
"Sorry, is there a Gennifer Hynes in this department?" Jongin finally recovered the use of his tongue and poured all his determination into not blushing - but he could already feel some telltale warmth in his cheeks.
"Gennifer? Sure. But she's at a meeting right now."
"I ... um ... need someone to sign for the flowers." Jongin tried his best to sound and look casual as he offered the man his plastic clipboard and ballpen.
He tried to think of something witty to say - or at least not retarded - but for someone whose conversational skills were scrappy at best, Jongin's mind was a complete blank. And his cheeks were beginning to feel really hot.
"Here you go," he returned the clipboard to Jongin and reached out to take the flowers, "Thanks, I'll make sure Gennifer gets these." He looked like he was about to say more when a disembodied voice called from inside the bowels of the Accounting Department, "Kyungsoo! Mr. Meyer wants to see us in five!"
"That's me. I guess I'd better go. I'm ... um, Do Kyungsoo. Sorry, I didn't get your name?" Kyungsoo sounded almost nervous as he introduced himself. Maybe it was because people didn't normally chat up delivery guys, Jongin thought.
"Jongin. I'm Kim Jongin." Jongin blurted out.
"It was nice meeting you, Kim Jongin," Kyungsoo smiled and then with the flash of a beautiful smile that reached his eyes, he was gone.
Jongin just stood there, silently watching his trim figure disappear behind a workstation. He was still standing in the same spot a minute later when his phone buzzed insistently in his back pocket.
"Kim Jongin! Please tell me you're in the Meyer Building and you've delivered the flowers because they were due four minutes ago." It was Luhan, naturally. Luhan who was both Jongin's best friend and business partner, as well as his tormentor.
"Yeah, they're done." Jongin was still in a slight daze and he hoped it didn't show in his voice because he wasn't quite ready yet to deal with Luhan's nosiness. And if there was one thing that was guaranteed in this world, it was Luhan's unfailing nosiness.
Someone's iPhone rang in the distance, the Sci-Fi ringtone making his hair stand on end. And that was when Jongin suddenly remembered that he was still standing at the reception area of Meyer's Accounting Department. He quickly made his way to the elevator because he would just die if Kyungsoo suddenly popped up, out of nowhere and found him still loitering at the reception area like some crazed stalker.
"So you survived your meeting with a stranger then. How was your encounter with Ms. Gennifer Hynes?"
"Never met her. One of her colleagues signed for it."
"And that went well? You didn't freeze or anything?"
"Not exactly." Jongin answered truthfully. He'd never been able to lie to Luhan. There wasn't any point anyway because the guy could ferret out information about anything from anyone. He was like the FBI, only scarier.
"Wait, who was this colleague?" Luhan sounded ... suspicious.
"Nobody?"
"Spit. It. Out. Was he cute?"
"Yes." Jongin admitted sheepishly as he stepped into the elevator.
"Start talking. Now." The steel doors slid shut.
Chapter 3: The Shy Handsome Delivery Guy
KYUNGSOO
Kyungsoo's eyes and quick mind took in column after column of figures as he studied the papers before him. He had to present them in a meeting with the Head of Accounting in twenty minutes' time, so he'd come to the reception area where it was almost always quiet and he could only hear the distant, muted ring of phones going off or the muffled voices of colleagues in discussion. Hardly anyone ever visited the Accounting Department so they didn't actually have a receptionist. Just a bell.
And so it was that Kyungsoo had been analyzing and memorizing figures for ten minutes by the time he heard the metallic "ding" of the reception bell. He turned to see who it was - expecting to find someone dressed in corporate wear. Instead, he was confronted with a tall, casually dressed young man who was staring awkwardly at him. He had a huge bouquet of brightly colored flowers in his arms, and Kyungsoo thought he recognized some tulips but had no idea what the other flowers were called. Clad in a white tee, white denim jacket and close-fitting faded jeans, the delivery guy had golden, tanned skin, square jawed, handsome features and an endearingly shy smile.
"Yes? Can I help you?" Kyungsoo watched him with interest but the stranger just stood there quietly. If Kyungsoo didn't know any better, he'd think the guy was shy because his cheeks looked a little flushed. But surely someone this good looking couldn't possibly be self- conscious? Kyungsoo looked at him expectantly and still he remained quiet, cheeks getting pinker by the minute. Oh my God, he really was shy , Kyungsoo realized. He felt kind of bad about it but at the same time, it was kind of flattering to know that he had the ability to fluster such a good looking guy.
"Hello? I'm guessing those flowers are for someone?" Kyungsoo prompted him as he continued to appear lost. Delivery Guy seemed to be struggling to remember the name of the person the flowers were for, and didn't seem to be having much luck so Kyungsoo suggested he refer to the gift card. At this point, he looked like he was about to expire from embarrassment and Kyungsoo couldn't help smiling just a little because he rarely had this kind of effect on anyone let alone someone this attractive. And there was no question that he was attractive. Very compellingly so.
"Sorry, is there a Gennifer Hynes in this department?" It was the first time the man had actually spoken and Kyungsoo was surprised at how deep and smoky his voice was. He confirmed that there was indeed a Gennifer here, but that she was out at a meeting. Delivery Guy passed Kyungsoo a clipboard and a pen and mumbled something about needing someone to sign for the flowers. He had clearly regained enough composure to speak, but he still retained an element of self-consciousness that truly intrigued Kyungsoo. As he signed the form, he took special note of the company logo which was done in a handwriting font and incorpated a stylized image of a tulip:
In Bloom Florist
He returned the clipboard and pen to Delivery Guy, whose cheeks had gone pinker still - or as pink as they could get given his light mocha complexion. Kyungsoo eventually reached out for the bouquet since Delivery Guy seemed to have forgotten why he had come to the Accounting Department in the first place.
"Thanks, I'll make sure Gennifer gets these." Kyungsoo smiled at him as he took the flowers. Delivery Guy gave him the most adorably sheepish smile, and Kyungsoo knew he didn't want this to be the last time he ever saw him. But just as he was about to ask for his name and whatever else evolved from there (his phone number perhaps?), a penetrating voice wafted from the office, "Kyungsoo! Mr Meyer wants to see us in five!" He cursed Kim Jongdae for his unfailingly bad timing. If you could rely on Kim Jongdae for one thing, it was to pick the worst possible time to say or do something. He really had a "gift" for it, he grimaced.
"That's me. I guess I'd better go. I'm ... um, Do Kyungsoo. Sorry, I didn't get your name?" Kyungsoo felt just a touch nervous as he introduced himself. He didn't want to spook Delivery Guy, but at the same time he was hellbent on finding out his name because he really did want to see him again.
"Jongin. I'm Kim Jongin," he blurted out.
"It was nice meeting you, Kim Jongin," Kyungsoo gave him a whole-souled smile and would have shaken his hand if he could, but it was simply too tricky with the oversized floral cargo in his arms. So he settled for the fact that he had already memorized the name of the company where Kim Jongin worked - he could work with that. As Kyungsoo was leaving, he really really wanted to turn around and take one last look at Kim Jongin, but he didn't have enough self-confidence to be quite that obvious. So he carried on walking towards the work cubicles instead.
It was only after Kyungsoo had hastily placed the flowers on Gennifer's desk that he remembered the stack of papers he'd been working on in the reception area. Damn it, he only had 3.5 minutes left. He had almost turned the corner when he caught sight of white denim and golden skin and stopped sharply before he could come into the other man's line of vision. Kim Jongin was still standing there, and he looked ... dazed, for lack of a better word. He had his phone pressed to his ear but his blank expression indicated that his mind was miles away.
It was then that Kyungsoo decided he was going to just go up to him and ask him for his phone number. Mr. Meyer was going to be pissed about him being late but he reckoned his boss' ire was worth facing if he managed to get Kim Jongin's number out of it. As he was about to step out from behind the cubicle though, Jongdae's eerie iPhone ringtone sounded - the extremely creepy one that everyone in the office had been harassing him to change for months. It seemed to wake Jongin from his reverie and he started walking briskly towards the elevator. This time, Kyungsoo cursed Jongdae three times over for having such shitty timing.
Kyungsoo watched as he took long strides down the corridor with a kind of hypnotic, loose-limbed grace. Kim Jongin was truly beautiful. And this time it was Kyungsoo's turn to stand there, stunned, as the other man walked away and eventually disappeared behind the steel elevator doors.
Chapter 4: Advice from a Friend
JONGIN
By some miracle, Jongin had managed to convince Luhan to wait till he got back to the shop before interrogations commenced - citing the shitty reception in first the elevator, and then the basement carpark, and finally the nightmare traffic - traffic which required him to absolutely, fully concentrate on driving. Jongin knew Luhan did not believe him for a second but his friend surprisingly agreed to defer the Q&A session. It had just been putting off the inevitable though, and Jongin pushed the shop door open with a climbing sense of dread. Luhan's "I'll be waiting," had sounded horribly ominous. Why was he even friends with that noisy evil man, he gave a long suffering sigh.
"Jongin-ah! I've been perishing from the wait! And don't try to hide because our shop really isn't that big, ok?" Jongin groaned and started making his way very, very slowly to the small office he shared with Luhan. Seeing a legitimate reason to prolong the delay, Jongin stopped to talk to the tall, gangly guy in the back of the shop. His morose assistant, Chanyeol was transferring red carnations into a bucket, his springy reddish brown hair sticking out aggressively in every direction.
"Yeol, did any new orders come in while I was out?"
"Yeah. Luhan's processing them now." Chanyeol was a rather glum sort of dude but he was truly gifted with flowers and it wasn't as if Jongin was a bubbling font of conversation himself. Truthfully, they were the perfect co-workers - letting the flowers do most of the talking for them as they created stunning and artistic floral arrangements, bouquets and buttonholes. They might stumble with everyday conversational and social skills, but when it came to the language of flowers and creative expression, Chanyeol and Jongin flowed and dazzled effortlessly.
"Just take your time, Kim Jongin, just take your time." Luhan's voice dripped with sarcasm and Jongin sighed, rolling his eyes.
"You know he'll hunt you down and kill you if you don't make it in there in the next 6.5 seconds," Chanyeol joked, and this was something he did so rarely that Jongin always made sure to laugh at all his jokes . His assistant was far too serious for a man in his mid-20s.
"I'd better get my ass in there now, then. But I really really don't want to, Yeol. You know when he gives you that look and then you tell him everything? Even stuff he never asked about?" Jongin shuddered.
"Just. Go. And no, I don't know that look because he's never directed it at me." Chanyeol sounded amused as he went back to rearranging the carnations, clearly leaving Jongin to his fate. Dragging his feet like a ten year old, Jongin eventually found himself facing Luhan in their miniscule, shared office.
"So? Who is this guy? I'm assuming it's a guy right?" Luhan's animated face blazed with curiousity.
"Can I at least sit down?"
"You can lie down for all I care, dude. Just start talking. Who is he?"
"Some accountant I guess? It was the Accounting Department anyway. His name is Do Kyungsoo."
"So what does he look like?!" Luhan asked expectantly.
"Not very tall. Really fair. Black hair. Good looking." Jongin was intentionally vague.
"That describes half the guys in the city! You can do better than that, come on. Does he have any distinctive features?"
"His eyes are quite big and he has um ... kinda thick lips."
"Thick lips?" Luhan looked slightly wistful, "I can't remember when I last kissed a pair of plump lips."
"But what about -"
"My boyfriend? Oh I like his lips just fine. But they are definitely not thick lips."
"Okayyyyyy," Jongin said awkwardly, "Um ... Luhan? I'd erm rather you didn't go into any more detail about your boyfriend's lips because I want to be able to talk to the guy in future without staring at his lips the whole time. So yeah, please stop."
"Oh, yeah, got a little distracted there. Sorry about that. So how tall is he anyway?" He didn't look the least bit sorry , Jongin thought.
"Gosh, I don't know. Much shorter than me. Maybe 5' 6"? I didn't really pay attention because I was too distracted by his face - damn, I didn't mean to say that." Jongin kicked himself mentally. Why did he always offer more information than Luhan technically asked for?!
"Oho! It sounds like you're pretty taken with this Do Kyungsoo. So how are you going to ask him out? Are you going to ask him for coffee? Boring! What about a walk in the park? Too cliched. Dinner? Cliched and too obvious. What about ... A movie? Ugh, too damn pedestrian. I know! Take him line-skating!"
"Remember senior year? When we went in-line skating at Battery Park?"
"Oh God. You crashed into the hot dog stand. And we had to pay for all the damaged hot dogs and scrub all the spilt ketchup and mustard off the side of the cart. Okay, forget in-line skating. You could take him dancing! Do the shuffle!"
"Luhan, I can't dance! I have six left feet!"
"You mean two left feet, duh."
"No, I actually meant six left feet because I really am thaaaaaat bad." Jongin half chuckled.
"You're hopeless! So what are you going to do then?"
"Who says I'm going to do anything?" Jongin shrugged, "He's cute but that doesn't mean I'm going to ask him out."
"When was the last time you went on a date?" Luhan looked exasperated.
"Six months ago? That florist you forced me to go on a blind date with."
"Exactly! Forced you. I had to force you. The last 4 dates you've been on have been blind dates I made you go on."
"You know I'm not good with people." Jongin stared at a spot on the floor, trying his best to avoid Luhan's eyes.
"Jongin-ah, I know you don't like meeting new people and I know you think I bully you into going out with strangers, but it's only because I worry about you. Your life is so ... solitary. You're a good guy. You should get out more and meet people. It doesn't have to be about finding your true love - just get out of your apartment and the shop, ya know? I worry about you. All you do is work and go home. Work. Go home. And read fantasy novels and listen to grunge music."
"I know you're worried but I do hang out with Zitao and Yuning at least once a week. And I have drinks or dinner with you and the others a few times a month."
"That's not what I mean Jongin, and you know it. You're 25. You should be meeting people, making friends, and having fun."
"I have fun." Jongin said miserably.
"I mean have fun with people other than yourself and people other than people you've known for half your life."
"I've only known Zitao and Yuning for two years." Jongin pointed out.
"You are grasping at straws." Luhan shook his head, "I'm just saying if you really think this accountant guy is cute, you should take a risk. Do something crazy for a change and ask him out. Ok?"
"I'll think about it." Jongin agreed, rubbing the steel button on his jacket cuff.
Luhan sounded very tired as he sighed deeply. Jongin pretended not to notice and continued playing with his jacket button.
Chapter 5: The Secret Admirer
JONGIN
Jongin switched off the ignition of his nifty little Kia Rio, and got out tiredly. The conversation with Luhan had drained him more than he had expected and all he wanted to do was have a quick shower, and crawl into bed with a good book. He'd just pressed the elevator button when he felt someone clap a large hand on his shoulder. Jongin turned to see the tall man's familiar spiky jet black hair, and hawk-nosed, handsome features. The overhead light bounced energetically off the multiple piercings in his elegant ears.
"Hey Jongin, why do you look so down?" It was Zitao, his next door neighbor. Zitao was a 26 year-old professional photographer who worked for a sports magazine, and he shared an apartment with his architect boyfriend, Yuning, who was two years older. Two days after Jongin had first moved into their apartment block, Zitao and Yuning had rung his doorbell and invited him for a game of basketball and they'd just clicked and taken it from there. His neighbors were friendly and outgoing and didn't seem to mind that Jongin was really quiet. But after two years of friendship, Jongin was as comfortable with them as he could be with anyone and they often shared easy conversations about anything and everything.
"Long, confusing day."
Tall, thin, dark blonde Yuning climbed into the elevator at this point and stood beside Zitao, placing his right hand on the small of Zitao's back, "Why was it long and confusing? Although if I am reading Kim Jongin right ... It's not the day which is confusing so much as someone. Who is confusing you, Jongin?"
"Is it that obvious?!" Jongin groaned.
"Well, maybe not to most people but it is to us." Zitao offered. "So, who is this guy who's got you all tied up in knots?"
"I had to deliver some flowers to the Meyer Building because the other two couldn't do it. And the guy who signed for the flowers - his name is Do Kyungsoo - well, he's really cute. But I was too much of a loser to ask him for his phone number and now I'll probably never see him again." Jongin looked and sounded dejected.
"Well, you met him because you were delivering flowers to his office, right? So if you want to see him again, send some more flowers. Just make sure you're the one delivering them and not Luhan or Sehun because that would kind of defeat the purpose." Yuning made it all sound very logical - he always had this ability to make the most complicated things sound fixable.
"But I can't keep sending flowers to Gennifer Hynes!"
"No, no. Send flowers to this Kyungsoo guy. Unsigned. Give it an air of mystery. And that way he has to come out and sign for the flowers and you get a chance to see him and you could, you know, ask him out? You can do it, Jongin. You're a florist, a one-man floral arsenal," Zitao said reassuringly.
"But it seems like such a stalker-ish thing to do. And I am not a stalker - and I don't want Do Kyungsoo thinking I'm a stalker." Jongin was doubtful about his neighbors' strategy ... but at the same time, it sounded like a workable plan, "Maybe i could try it just the one time?"
"I'm sure just the one time should do it," Zitao winked at him, grinning.
------
Over the years, Jongin had gradually memorized as much as he could of the language of flowers; and he had, after much angsty reflection in bed late the night before, decided to give Kyungsoo white gardenias, which symbolized secret admiration. Rather appropriate, all things considered. He doubted Kyungsoo would even think of checking out the symbolic meaning but what the hell, flowers had always been one of Jongin's unique ways of communicating with people around him.
Gardenias were unfortunately really feminine looking flowers. So he'd decided to deliver a potted gardenia plant - hoping this would make the flowers seem more masculine somehow. What was he even doing sending flowers to a guy? This had bad idea written all over it but if it turned out to be an epic fail, at least he had one more shot at seeing Do Kyungsoo again. And he really did want to see him again.
Jongin had arranged to pick up the potted gardenia plant from 'Bloomlicious', one of his favorite horticulture shops after lunch. There was no way he wanted Luhan to get a whiff of this so he had told him he had some personal stuff to take care of and would be taking an hour off after lunch. Now he was riding in the Meyer Building elevator for the second time in 3 days. He got off on the 10th floor ... Accounting Department. He was a buzzing mixture of anticipation and anxiety as he pressed the reception bell, the potted gardenia cradled against his left hip.
"Yes, how can I help you?" To Jongin's disappointment, it wasn't Do Kyungsoo. It was a young man in his mid-20s with a wide, upturned mouth and intelligent eyes.
"I have a delivery for a Do Kyungsoo." Jongin shuffled his feet self-consciously as he answered the man. The latter turned to face the office area and projected his phenomenally loud voice, "DO KYUNGSOO! Reception area. Now!" Jongin couldn't help but think that voice sounded familiar - like he might have heard it the first time he'd been here.
"So what have you got there?" The man asked inquisitively.
"Um ... a potted gardenia."
"For Kyungsoo? Someone's sending Kyungsoo flowers?" The man sounded almost ... gleeful. Just then, Kyungsoo strode round the corner, his concentration focused on some important looking documents.
"Someone sent you flowers, man." Jongdae teased and Kyungsoo's head snapped up at this - his gaze falling on the shy young man beyond the reception counter.
"Oh! It's you. Hi," he smiled openly at Jongin, whose cheeks immediately started heating up. Kyungsoo turned to his colleague, "Jongdae, I've got this. You can go now."
"Oh, but I don't want to go."
Kyungsoo muttered something that sounded like "you have the worst timing ever" and practically shoved the other man towards the office area.
"Please excuse Jongdae. He's terminally nosey."
"That's ok." Jongin was reasonably sure he had just smiled at Kyungsoo but he couldn't be positive because he couldn't really believe it was actually Kyungsoo standing in front of him, and so his facial expressions and everything else were kind of a blur.
"So hi, Jongin, right? It's nice to see you again. You've got something for me today? Not Gennifer?" He pointed at the flowerpot balanced on Jongin's hip.
"Um, yeah. It's a potted gardenia."
Real smooth, Jongin . 'It's a potted gardenia.' Oh God, he really needed to sign up for a basic conversation skills course. Desperately.
"Who's it from?" His voice was openly curious.
"It's not signed, actually."
"Not even a hint?"
"Oh we can't disclose the client's name if they don't want us to. Company policy." Jongin wondered if Kyungsoo could tell that he was lying and doing a really bad job of it too. He forced himself not to look away (even though he was a bad liar and lying always made him jittery and crazy-eyed) because if this was the last time he was going to see Kyungsoo, he wanted to gather as much sense-memory as he could. And the possibility of it being his last time was high as Jongin was for all intents and purposes, a chickenshit. And when it came to asking someone out on a date, he was more like ten kinds of chickenshit.
The only occasion where he'd actually approached anyone was back in his senior year of high school. His name was Yoo Seung Ho and he'd said yes. They had been dating for three months when Seung Ho's dad was suddenly transferred to another city. Jongin had moped for weeks and only Luhan had managed to drag him out of his little blue cloud of angst. He had gotten over Seung Ho eventually, but at the same time, he hadn't met anyone since that had drawn him so much he would consider making the first move. Until now that is, because here he was, standing at the Accounting Department of the Meyer Building, with a potted gardenia in hand. But still, Jongin sighed, he was a chickenshit.
He inhaled deeply and caught the light scent of grapefruit and orange on Kyungsoo. His jet-black hair was just as neat as it had been the first time - every hair meticulously in place - and it made Jongin want to ruffle it, and mess it up, and make Kyungsoo relax. He didn't look like the kind of person who let go much. He took in Kyungsoo's rounded almond eyes, his high cheekbones, his strong eyebrows, and his full lips and tried to commit it all to memory.
"Who would send me flowers? Can I have a look at them?" He reached out for the terra cotta pot and Jongin carefully handed it over to him. Their fingers brushed lightly against each other's as the white-bloomed plant exchanged hands, and Jongin tried his best to act cool even though that quickest of touches had rattled him.
"So these are gardenias. They're really beautiful ... Is it even ok for a guy to say flowers are beautiful?" Kyungsoo furrowed his brows.
Jongin chuckled softly at that because it was so unexpected. Kyungsoo grinned to hear him laugh, "So you do laugh!" And just like that Jongin's cheeks flamed red hot but he managed to reply, "Yeah, yeah I do."
"I've read somewhere that there's a language of flowers. You work for a florist, right, Jongin? So what does it mean when someone sends you gardenias?" Kyungsoo watched Jongin, an earnest look in his eyes.
"Um ... Gardenias symbolize secret admiration."
"So the person who sent me these is trying to tell me that they secretly like me?" Kyungsoo continued to gaze into Jongin's eyes and he had to struggle really hard not to break eye contact.
"I guess so. It's possible." Jongin's feet started fidgeting: shuffle, shuffle .
"Are you sure you can't tell me who sent these?" Kyungsoo's voice was very persuasive and Jongin knew this was the perfect opportunity to ask him out - but his inner chickenshit made him shake his head, no .
"Do you like tea?"
"Yes, yes I do."
"There's this place near Battery Park called the Organic Tea Cafe, and I was thinking if you have time this Saturday afternoon, maybe we could meet up for some tea?" Kyungsoo looked and sounded slightly nervous as he suggested this. And it made Jongin feel better to know that he wasn't the only self-conscious one here.
"I'd really like that." Jongin smiled and forced himself to say, "What time do you want to meet? We should probably exchange phone numbers too ... you know in case of emergencies."
"That's a good idea. Give me your phone, ok?" and Kyungsoo deftly keyed in his phone number and name before calling his own phone. It had a conservative subdued ringtone which seemed very appropriate for an accountant.
"Can you key in your name for me?" Kyungsoo handed his phone to Jongin, who typed the letters with fingers which shook slightly, but fortunately he managed to do it in one shot. He would have died of embarrassment if he'd taken 5 minutes to key in what were essentially three syllables.
"Shall we meet at 2.30 on Saturday afternoon? Whoever gets there first can grab a table." Kyungsoo picked up the potted plant from the reception counter. "I'm sorry, I have to get back to work. I'd um ... better go before Jongdae starts hollering. And he will holler, believe me."
"Sure, sure. I guess I'll see you on Saturday afternoon." Jongin gave an awkward little wave.
"I'm looking forward to it." Kyungsoo gave him a breathtaking smile just before he walked away.
"DO KYUNGSOO! SOMEONE ON THE LINE FOR YOU!"
Kyungsoo turned around to grin at Jongin, "See? Every single time. That's Kim Jongdae for you. See you on Saturday, Kim Jongin," this time Kyungsoo really disappeared behind the cubicles.
"Yeah," Jongin uttered softly, "See you."
Jongin turned so his back leant against the reception desk and he sank to the floor slowly. He buried his face in his arms in a mixture of rapture and anxiety, with only one thought going through his head: what was he going to say to Kyungsoo on Saturday?
Chapter 6: Gardenias & Grunge
KYUNGSOO
Kyungsoo ended the phone call and as soon as the receiver touched the cradle, Jongdae's head appeared from behind the cubicle wall. His expression spelt mischief and trouble and Kyungsoo sighed deeply and loudly.
"So? The gardenias - who were they from? You must be the first guy in this building to have ever had flowers delivered to them. It's actually kinda cool." Jongdae made himself comfortable on Kyungsoo's desk.
"Go away. I'm reviewing the Wayfarer Inc. financial report and it's due at 4 pm."
"Did they say who it was?" Jongdae could be really persistent but he was mostly a decent guy - good enough company that Kyungsoo and him often hung out together socially, with some other friends.
"It wasn't signed, actually."
"Who could it be, though? Have you met anyone new recently?"
"No. I really have no idea, Jongdae. Report. Due at 4. Go. Away." Kyungsoo kept his gaze focused on the paperwork, studiously ignoring Jongdae - other than to make jerky shooing motions.
"You're totally dying of curiosity. Just admit it."
"Doesn't make any difference. Meyer will have my ass if this isn't reviewed and on his desk at 4pm. Shoo now!"
"Is there even a Wayfarer Inc. Report?" Jongdae complained and Kyungsoo held up the bound report draft as evidence. Faced with undeniable physical proof, Jongdae snorted in annoyance - but he did make himself scarce. Not, however, before wondering in mock bitterness, "How come no one ever sends me flowers?"
"It's not like anyone's ever sent me any before now." Kyungsoo pointed out reasonably. Jongdae's middle finger appeared from behind the cubicle, making it very clear what he thought about Kyungsoo's remark. Kyungsoo had to laugh at that. You could always count on Kim Jongdae to liven up the workplace.
"I guess you know that white gardenias symbolize secret admiration?" Byun Baekhyun appeared on the heels of Jongdae's departure - leaning over Kyungsoo's cubicle, speaking in hushed tones.
"Hey, Baek. You heard too? About the flowers I mean, not what they mean." Kyungsoo was surprised. Baekhyun was the kind of guy who usually observed everything but never said much. Although he would occasionally make a remark which indicated he'd been paying attention all along and just chosen to not get involved. So the fact that he was getting involved kind of surprised Kyungsoo. But not in a bad way. He sometimes confided in Baekhyun - as much as a guy is likely to confide in another guy anyway. He was a good listener and he gave practical, sound advice and kept your secrets. They'd been workmates and friends for three years now.
"I heard? Just about the entire floor heard about your erm ... 'floral gift' after you ejected Jongdae from the reception area. They just don't dare ask you about it," Baekhyun chuckled, continuing to speak softly so as not to attract attention, "So do you have any idea who he is? This secret admirer? I'm assuming the person sent white gardenias with a very clear purpose. And before you ask, no I do not have an intimate knowledge of the symbolic meanings of flowers. I googled it," he grinned, his eyes crinkling up in that signature smile which drove the secretarial pool girls wild.
"I have this suspicion ... I think he could be this cute guy who blushes a lot. But I can't be sure and I don't want to jinx myself by giving you any more details than what I just gave you."
"Jinx, huh? Sounds like it's not a one sided thing then, Soo."
"You could say that, I guess." Kyungsoo admitted a little sheepishly.
"Well, good luck, dude. I hope it works out for you. Now what did I need from you again? That's right, the financials for McConnell & Leigh, LLC." And just like that, Baekhyun switched seamlessly from social to professional mode. It could be quite unnerving sometimes.
------
Kyungsoo was admiring the pretty gardenias sitting on his desk when he abruptly realized that Jongin had never asked him to sign for them. He pondered for all of three seconds before taking out his phone.
To: Kim Jongin
Hey, I didn't sign for the flowers. Will you get into trouble with your boss? ~DK
He waited restlessly - trying his utmost to concentrate on reviewing the Wayfarer Inc. report, which was unfortunately not a fictitious one. Within 40 seconds, his phone buzzed.
From: Kim Jongin
It's ok. My boss trusts me. I won't get into trouble. Thanks though, for thinking of me. Do you like the gardenias? Don't forget to water them. Not too much though cos they don't like too much water. Keep them where they can get some sunlight. Good luck! Just ask me if you need more info. Oh and don't over fertilize them!
Interesting. Texting Jongin seemed less shy and more expressive than real-life Jongin. He was also really knowledgable about plant care for a delivery guy. Kyungsoo thought for a bit before his fingers flew across the screen.
To: Kim Jongin
Thanks for the tips! I really had no idea where to start. I've never kept a plant before. Are you sure you don't need me to sign for the flowers? You can come by anytime this week - I should be in the office. Just text me first to make sure I'm here. I really don't want you to get into trouble.
Kyungsoo didn't click 'send' immediately. He read through the text three times. Did he sound too desperate? Would Jongin be able to tell that it was just a flimsy excuse to see him again? Maybe he should rewrite it - make it shorter and less please-come-see-me-quick ...
Just then, his office extension rang loudly - discordantly interrupting his dilemma. It was his boss asking Kyungsoo to see him ASAP. Kyungsoo sighed. He supposed he really ought to take more risks in his overly planned, overly organized life. Shutting one eye, he gingerly pressed 'send'.
As he was on his way to his boss' office, feet padding noiselessly on the short pile charcoal grey carpet, his phone buzzed.
From: Kim Jongin
Could I come by on Thursday afternoon? After lunch?
Kyungsoo couldn't stop grinning as he replied: Yes! Thursday after lunch would be great. See you soon.
From: Kim Jongin
See you on Thursday. Looking forward to it.
Very simple words that people used all the time so why did he feel so much anxious anticipation simmering in his body? Calm down, Kyungsoo. He's just coming to get your signature - which you practically cornered him into doing, anyway. Just like you practically cornered him into having tea with you on Saturday.
He came to a sudden stop when he realized he'd reached the end of the corridor. He'd overshot his boss's office by two doors! Kyungsoo shook his head in disbelief - apparently Kim Jongin had messed up his equilibrium a lot more than he'd expected. Thursday after lunch. Three more days. He could wait that long.
No. problem.
----------
To say that Kyungsoo's apartment was spartan was putting things mildly. Everything was either white or black, with occasional relief in the form of a gray cushion here and a gray rug there. And everything was neatly in its place because Kyungsoo liked having order in close to every aspect of his life. If things were in their rightful place, everything else would follow. Less risk, less stress.
He had decided to place the potted gardenia on his coffee table - the potted gardenia that he suspected was a gift from Kim Jongin. But as he had told Baekhyun earlier, he didn't want to jinx himself so he tried not to contemplate too much on the identity of the sender. His lounge was right beside a large plate glass window, which let in golden streams of sunlight in the morning, and Jongin had said that light was essential.
The densely petalled white blooms blended in almost seamlessly with the stark, monochromatic scheme of Kyungsoo's studio apartment. However, the plant's green stems and leaves did not fit in quite as well, forcing a vibrant splash of color onto the almost forbidding palette around it. Kyungsoo wasn't sure how he felt yet about seeing the vivid green and terra cotta in the middle of his living room, but it wasn't exactly causing him any kind of distress so he reckoned he could live with it - for now at least.
He supposed that the gardenia plant was a bit like grunge music. The neat, organized life he led would probably have been more logically enhanced by classical music, or perhaps some grown up adult oriented rock, or even generic pop songs. Grunge music with its heavy guitar riffs, angst-filled anti-establishment lyrics and unkempt musicians did not gel in any way with Kyungsoo's ordered, conservative life. But he loved it anyway and willingly embraced its disorder. He was just a little wistful that he had never found anyone else who shared his passion for grunge music other than his former neighbor Ethan Jameson, who had introduced him to Nirvana and Pearl Jam all those years ago.
Unbidden, images of light mocha skin, shy smiles, and warm dark brown eyes flooded Kyungsoo's senses. He didn't try to fight them and just let them wash over him, and found himself wondering what kind of music Kim Jongin liked.
Kyungsoo's hand curled around his phone and he hesitated for a few seconds before accessing his inbox.
From: Kim Jongin
See you on Thursday. Looking forward to it.
He stared at the potted gardenia. Two and a half more days.
Chapter 7: Guilty
JONGIN
"I am never never eating three day old pizza. Ever again." Sehun groaned piteously from his current position of being slumped over the cash register counter, "I mean EVER."
"We get it, Sehun." Chanyeol assured him sarcastically as he deftly trimmed some leaves off the twined arch he was working on, "We got it the first seven times you said it, to be honest." Sehun moaned again, but managed to summon enough energy to raise a three-fingered salute. Chanyeol just snorted and continued working.
Jongin patted his younger cousin on the back comfortingly. He felt bad for him, he honestly did, but at the same time he wanted to bless that three day old pizza too for making Sehun miss work that Friday - because he would never have made that delivery or met Do Kyungsoo otherwise. He made up his mind to buy something really nice for Sehun to make up for the agony of food poisoning.
"Sehun-ah, you ok, dude?" Jongin rubs his back soothingly, "Did you take some oral rehydration salts and meds? It's been four days, why are you still so sick? You should see the doctor again, ok? I don't want your mom coming after me, saying I didn't look out for you."
"Hyung, my tummy hurts sooooo bad," Sehun whined.
"We don't have any more deliveries today so you should just go home and sleep it off. Luhan can handle anything that comes in after you leave," Jongin continues rubbing Sehun's back consolingly.
"I HEARD THAT!" Luhan's voice was shockingly loud as it disturbed the zen-like silence of the flower shop, "But yeah, go home, Sehun. You look and sound like you're dying of bubonic plague. It's gotta be scaring away potential walk-in customers and that's just bad for business. Just go home, for fuck's sake."
Jongin frowned in the direction of Luhan's office and made a mental note to have some music in the store at some point so they wouldn't all have a heart attack every time Luhan decided to be loud - which was way more often than everyone liked. The problem was they all had such diverse taste in music that it had just been easier to not have any on at all. Everyone had always just plugged themselves into their individual iPods when they needed.
Jongin liked his grunge music best and didn't have a whole lot of tolerance for any other kind of music. Sehun was into punk rock bands like The Killers and My Chemical Romance, while Chanyeol was on the extreme other end of the spectrum with his classical pop preferences - no one was going to agree to the likes of Josh Groban and Charlotte Church wafting through IN BLOOM, Jongin suspected. Last but not least, Luhan had an unexpected and inexplicable penchant for show tunes, and loved Andrew Lloyd Webber's work especially. Jongin shuddered as he remembered walking in on Luhan once while Christine was warbling "The Phantommm of the Operaaaaaaa is here inside my miiiiiiiiiind." It had given him nightmares for weeks. Honestly, they were an eclectic disaster zone where music was concerned. Jongin scratched the back of his head and sighed in resignation - perhaps they should leave the music off after all.
Sehun moaned some more like it hurt to even breathe and agreed to go home. Jongin felt sorry for the poor guy - he was usually a hyperactive ball of energy who talked practically non-stop and sucked on mints all day long. It was unnerving to see him all sapped and moaning in agony. After Sehun left the store, Jongin turned his concentration back to the five bouquets he was preparing for a beach wedding that would take place the following evening. Ironically, he was working with gardenias and he truly did not need anything else to remind him of Do Kyungsoo and his distractingly large eyes, strong eyebrows and beautifully shaped mouth. He was putting the final touches on the third bouquet when his phone vibrated in his back pocket.
Jongin stared at the screen in disbelief. It was a text from Kyungsoo asking if he'd get into trouble with his boss because he'd forgotten to sign for the flowers. Jongin balked a little at that since technically he was his own boss and it wasn't even a real delivery and oh my God, he was a lying ass evil stalker and he was going to hell! Jongin felt himself drowning in an ocean of guilt for making Kyungsoo worry about him.
He quickly typed some evasive (and basically dishonest) crap about his boss trusting him and that he wouldn't get into trouble because his boss trusted him. Then to distract himself from his raging feelings of remorse, he decided to ask Kyungsoo if he liked the gardenias, and gave him some tips on how to care for them. After clicking send, Jongin started kicking himself. What was he doing?! He was boring the man senseless with horticultural tips. He could almost see the deadline: DEATH BY HORTICULTURE: Accountant Found Lifeless in Meyer Building .
Kim Jongin, what in actual fuck are you doing?
The phone buzzed, making him jump. It was Kyungsoo again, asking if he was sure he wouldn't like to come by the office as he'd be in all week. Jongin might have a problem with debilitating shyness, but there was nothing wrong with his ability to reason. He desperately wanted to see Kyungsoo again and this was the perfect opportunity, so he hastily agreed before Kyungsoo could change his mind and retract the offer. He suggested Thursday after lunch and proceeded to attack the flower nearest to him as he waited for the answer. Jongin had plucked all the petals off a hapless gardenia by the time Kyungsoo's reply arrived, thanking him for the gardening tips and confirming that Thursday would be fine and that he'd see him soon.
Jongin's immediate instinct was to reply with an impersonal " Ok, see you " or just " Ok ' but his emotions wrestled his head to the ground and he ended up typing: See you on Thursday. Looking forward to it . As soon as he clicked send, he was wracked with self-doubt. What if Kyungsoo thought he sounded desperate? What if ...?
"Oi, Kim Jongin! Who are you texting and why do you look like somebody just died?" Luhan was eyeing him very suspiciously.
"Um ..."
Chapter 8: Change of Plans
JONGIN
"I repeat, who were you texting? And I'm sorry but 'Um' isn't going to do it for me." Luhan's FBI-agent-interrogation-face was firmly in place and Jongin knew he was done for. Jongin sighed, knowing that Luhan would surely extract most if not all of his secrets with military precision.
"Nobody?" Well, Jongin reckoned it was worth a try.
"I definitely saw you texting someone and don't try and tell me you were exchanging messages with a supplier or a client because I saw you blushing and stressing. Definitely not business. I'm on to you, Kim Jongin."
"You need a new hobby, Luhan."
"I have hobbies - in the plural, thank you very much. One of them just happens to be tormenting - I mean looking out for you."
"What other hobbies?" Jongin snorted in disbelief.
"Paintball. You know I love paintball - we play it all the time,"
"I wouldn't call playing it once a month 'all the time' but okay, so that's two. What other hobbies do you have other than torturing your best friend and playing paintball?"
"Playing strip poker with Xiumin," Luhan waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"STOP." Jongin covered his ears, trying his best not to imagine Luhan and his boyfriend in various stages of undress, "Too much information! Stop."
"I told you I had hobbies," Luhan grinned wickedly at him before abruptly changing the mood and asking in a rather serious tone, "No, but honestly, Jongin. Who were you texting? When I see you doing stuff you don't normally do, I worry. Is everything cool?"
"Sure it is, Luhan," Jongin gave his best friend a smile and it wasn't even a pained one. Then after a moment's hesitation, he added, "I think he asked me out. Accountant Guy, I mean."
"What?! When were you planning to tell me, you little shit?" Luhan was first shocked, then positively aggrieved.
"Well, I wasn't going to, actually. Because you're nosey, ok? But I'm telling you now since you asked and you sounded worried and stuff. So ... yeah, he asked me to meet him for tea on Saturday afternoon."
"Tea? Who goes out for tea?" Luhan looked genuinely perplexed. He was a bonafide coffee aficionado who couldn't fathom why anyone would consider drinking what was clearly an inferior beverage.
"There's nothing wrong with tea, Luhan," Jongin chuckled, "I drink tea all the time."
"I rest my case. So what's he like, this Accountant Guy? Is he boring? Because he is an accountant after all. Is he nice? And more importantly, is he nice to you? Because if he breaks you, I will maim him."
"Calm down! I've only met him twi- once and he seems nice so far. He's not giving off any serial killer vibe anyway. And we haven't really had enough conversation for me to tell if he's boring. But if anyone's boring, it's probably me." Jongin was inwardly relieved that Luhan hadn't seemed to realize that Jongin had almost admitted to meeting Kyungsoo twice.
"Jongin, you're not boring! You just take time to warm up to people is all. Once you get into your groove, you're a lot of fun. I wouldn't have stayed friends with you through middle and high school if you'd been boring, dude. Anyway, I'm glad you're giving this thing a shot." Luhan patted his back reassuringly.
"Is he bullying you again?" They both turned to look at the clean-cut, attractive man leaning against the doorway. He had prominent cheeks and his eyes twinkled with mischief.
"All the time, Xiumin! You know how he gets." Jongin gave Xiumin a wry smile, gently pushing Luhan in Xiumin's direction. He was always happy to see Luhan's boyfriend for two reasons. One, he was a nice guy, and two, he generally always put Luhan in a good mood. Happy Luhan meant happy everyone else at IN BLOOM.
"I can't get off work yet. Sehun is home sick." Luhan sounded almost petulant and Jongin sniggered at his friend. Luhan might be a troll to the rest of them most of the time, but he always turned into a melting blob of affection and light when his boyfriend was around. Jongin found it both amusing as well as mildly disturbing.
"Oh, I wasn't here to take you out or anything. I just happened to be in the area so I bought you guys a bag of donuts."
"You mean you didn't drop by because you were dying to see me?"
"Too much information! I'm not interested in your people-in-love conversation. Get out of my workroom!" Jongin grinned as he shoved them both out and shut the door firmly.
Now that they'd left, silence settled once again over the room. Almost three more days before he saw Do Kyungsoo again. Jongin swiped his fringe out of his eyes, sighed, then forced his attention back to the gardenias on his work table.
---------
Jongin sank contentedly into the overstuffed maroon fabric couch that dominated his small sitting room. He'd had homemade chicken stew and salad for dinner and his stomach felt comfortably warm and satiated. The fact that Jongin didn't enjoy dealing with strangers meant he wasn't a huge fan of eating out, so he mostly made simple meals at home which he ate alone - although he did eat with Zitao and Yuning once a week, and Luhan and their other friends a few times a month. This was his favorite time of the day, when he could just unwind in the comfortable safety of his own home and watch some tv or read a book.
Ten minutes after he'd settled into his third rereading of 'Magician's Gambit' by David Eddings, Kurt Cobain's raspy voice and heavy guitar chords broke the silence of the apartment, " He's the one who likes all our pretty songs; and he likes to sing along ,"
Jongin took his phone from the coffee table warily. Nirvana's 'In Bloom' was his general ringtone - his friends all had their own special ringtones. Who would be calling him at this time who wasn't one of his friends? His jaw went slack as he saw the name flashing on the screen: Do Kyungsoo.
"Hello?" Jongin's voice sounded really loud to his own ears.
"Hi, Jongin. It's me, Kyungsoo. Sorry to call you so late but ... Well, do you remember how you told me not to water the gardenias too much? What does that mean?" Kyungsoo got his words out in a rush, like he was really nervous or maybe a little discomfited.
"Hey, Kyungsoo. There's no need to apologize ... it's not too late at all," Jongin managed to answer before going into more detail about exactly how much water was required in the watering of a gardenia.
"Thanks so much for the help, Jongin. I hope I didn't interrupt anything?" Jongin heard the question mark at the end of Kyungsoo's remark. Oh my God, was he trying to extend their conversation?
"No, no! You definitely weren't interrupting. I was just, um, rereading one of my favorite books and it's not like I don't know what's going to happen next or how it's going to end. What about you? What are you up to?" Jongin fortunately managed to force himself to make conversation like a normal human being.
"So what are you reading? I'd love to know what kind of books you like. As for what I'm up to? Trying to figure out how to water the gardenia to be honest," Kyungsoo chuckled.
And in this slightly-awkward-slightly-not way, they spent the next half hour asking each other subtle and not-so-subtle questions about each other, making each other laugh now and then. But Kyungsoo had to finally end the call when his battery had pretty much run out of juice.
"So ... I guess I'll see you on Thursday at my office," Jongin swore he could hear a smile in Kyungsoo's voice.
"Yeah, Thursday. I'm looking forward to it." Jongin tried to project his smile into his voice the way Kyungsoo had, because he wanted Kyungsoo to know he was happy too, at the prospect of seeing him again.
After Kyungsoo had hung up, Jongin placed his phone on the table, groaning in frustration. How was he going to make it till Thursday? It was two and a half days away!
He totally wasn't going to survive the next two and a half days. Jongin punched one of the throw cushions in defeat - his book all but forgotten ...
---------
By the time Wednesday rolled around, Jongin had decided that he would most surely expire if he had to wait till Thursday to see Kyungsoo. So he had texted him to ask if he could come by the office today instead of Thursday - seeing as he had to make a (bogus) delivery to the Meyer Building anyway. He felt almost guilty when Kyungsoo's response arrived, telling him Wednesday was fine. Jongin's conscience was roiling - he was totally going to burn in hell for all the lies he'd told since he'd met the poor, unsuspecting accountant.
Several hours later, Jongin took a deep breath and fussed with the soft bangs that almost poked his eyes - he really was way overdue for a haircut. He self-consciously finger-combed the straight strands of dark hair until he was reasonably satisfied that his hair was in as good a state as it was ever going to be. Then he nervously brushed the front of his t-shirt, took one last long inhale and pressed the reception bell.
This time it was a small-built young man with wavy dark brown hair and slightly mischievous eyes who showed up. Jongin found himself wondering if any women even worked in Accounting. Other than Gennifer Hynes that is - the lady who had received that spring bouquet last Friday, bless her soul.
"Hi, can I help you?" the man had a friendly smile.
"I'm looking for Do Kyungsoo." Jongin held the flowerpot against his hip in a death grip, his stranger apprehension making him tense. The man raised a curious eyebrow before holding up a hand as if to say hold on, and he turned to leave.
A smiling Kyungsoo arrived moments later, "Hi, how are you?"
"Good, I'm good. How about you?" Jongin smiled shyly.
"I'm good. So, I think I'd better sign that delivery receipt thingy first before we forget and you have to come back again," Kyungsoo chuckled at his own lame attempt at humor. They were both trying not to stare at each other openly, and they were both failing miserably. Jongin handed the clipboard over and tried not to fidget as Kyungsoo signed the delivery order. Then, as he was about the return the document, Jongin sheepishly told him he had to sign for another delivery.
"Huh? Me?"
Jongin carefully placed the pot of flowers on the counter while Kyungsoo stared at it, dumbfounded.
"Another delivery of flowers for me? But who?"
"It's not signed." Jongin said quietly.
Chapter 9: A Little More Conversation
KYUNGSOO
Kyungsoo's hand curled around his phone and he hesitated for a few seconds before accessing his inbox.
From: Kim Jongin
See you on Thursday. Looking forward to it.
He stared at the potted gardenia. Thursday was two and a half days away. But Kyungsoo didn’t want to wait two and a half more days. Besides, the plant might not survive that long if he didn’t ask Jongin how to look after it. That was it! He had to ask how much water to use – the gardenia’s survival literally depended on him calling Jongin. As he waited for him to pick up, Kyungsoo ignored the butterflies in his stomach – just as he stubbornly ignored the inner voice that scoffed at his ridiculous excuse for calling Jongin.
When he heard the other man’s deep voice utter ‘hello’ in a slightly confused way, Kyungsoo’s nervousness got the better of him and the words spilled out of him in speedy tangle – saying how sorry he was for calling so late and asking how much water he needed for the gardenia. He tried to disregard all the things Jongin’s low, husky voice made him feel as he carefully told Kyungsoo how to look after his gardenia plant. Kyungsoo somehow sensed that Jongin would approach most things in life in the same kind, patient and careful way he was teaching Kyungsoo how to care for his plant. As Jongin reached the end of his little briefing, Kyungsoo realized that he didn’t want the conversation to end just yet, so he tried to keep things going.
"Thanks so much for the help, Jongin. I hope I didn't interrupt anything?"
"No, no! You definitely weren't interrupting. I was just, um, rereading one of my favorite books and it's not like I don't know what's going to happen next or how it's going to end. What about you? What were you doing before this?" Kyungsoo noted with relief that Jongin seemed to want to continue talking too.
"So what are you reading? I'd love to know what kind of books you like. As for what I was doing? Trying to figure out how to water the gardenia to be honest," Kyungsoo chuckled.
“I’m rereading Book 3 of The Belgariad. It’s a fantasy series by David Eddings. I don’t suppose you’ve heard of David Eddings? It’s a pretty old series but … yeah, I’ve reread it a few times. I get like that about books I love. Lame, right?”
“I guess I must be equally lame then. I like David Eddings and I’ve read The Belgariad and The Mallorean . Twice!” Kyungsoo admitted and they naturally launched into an animated ten-minute discussion on fantasy authors that they liked. The words just flowed easily between them as they found much in common to talk about - which was just as well as it distracted Kyungsoo from the fact that he was really beginning to like Kim Jongin. Perhaps a little too much.
At some point, Kyungsoo asked Jongin how he had ended up working in a flower shop and Jongin hesitated before answering, “When I was growing up, my mom loved gardening. We lived in the suburbs and our house wasn’t real big, but it had a huge garden. And my mom, well she used to plant all kinds of flowers but her favorites were purple tulips. She planted a whole bed of them beneath the front window so she could see them from inside the sitting room. I spent a lot of time helping her in the garden. My brother left for college when I was 8 so it was just her and me at home mostly, and I guess you could say we hung out a lot,” Jongin chuckled but Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if it was a happy sound. “She taught me to love flowers and to understand what they signify. I’ve been surrounded by flowers for most of my life so I guess it was only natural I’d end up working with them.”
“Do you still see her much? Because I mean you live in the city now. Or did you guys move here together? Sorry, I can’t believe I just asked you something so personal. Just ignore that, please? I swear I don’t normally ask people things like that. I guess I just … want to know more about you.”
"It's - I don't mind, Kyungsoo. I don't usually even tell people this much to be honest. I just don't tell people much of anything, really. I mean I'm sure you've noticed that I'm usually a little ... quiet." Kyungsoo could just hear Jongin sighing in resignation after making that stuttering, heartfelt admission.
"I'm not the most talkative guy myself, Jongin, so we're pretty even, I'd say. Anyway, just ignore my questions about your mom. It was rude of me to ask."
"I'd like to answer them actually - if you still want to listen," Jongin said almost shyly and Kyungsoo hastily encouraged him to continue.
"My mom passed away a few years back. She was ill. Cancer."
"I'm so sorry to hear that. You must miss her."
"I do sometimes, but working with flowers helps because they remind me of her - like in a good way. They remind me of her as she was when she was healthy and happy, you know? I feel a little connected to her that way so I can't honestly see myself doing anything else. But anyway, that's enough about me. How about you? How did you end up being an accountant?"
"I became an accountant because I'm boring?" Kyungsoo laughed, trying to lighten the mood.
"You're not boring! You're great to talk to - I mean you even make me forget I'm supposed to be shy sometimes."
"Wait, was that a compliment?" Kyungsoo teased.
"Yes, yes it was," Jongin's low, self-conscious chuckle was deeply attractive, making Kyungsoo feel all warm inside.
"Okay how did I become a boring accountant ... I was always good with numbers but I sucked at Physics so Engineering wasn't an option for me and computers hate me soooo. You could say I kind of 'fell into' accounting because I didn't know what else to do. But I don't regret it. I don't love it but I don't hate it either. It's a job.” Then Kyungsoo paused for a few seconds before asking, “Jongin, what do you usually do on weeknights?” Kyungsoo cringed at how obvious he was being about not wanting to end their chat.
“I live a really boring, quiet life. I usually eat at home on my own and then I watch TV and read a book. Embarrassingly quiet life for a guy in his twenties. My friends drag me out every now and then so that I don’t become a complete social reject but I’m not a big fan of crowded places so … yeah, there you have it – my boring life.” Jongin sounded practically sheepish when he was done answering.
“It sounds a lot like my life, to be honest. We should hang out one of these nights so we don’t have to … you know, eat alone.” Kyungsoo decided there was nothing to lose in asking Jongin out for dinner because the worse that could happen was that he’d say no. And the best outcome was that he’d say yes.
“I’d really like that.” He said yes!
And that’s when his phone started beeping quite insistently and he glared at it, the thought crossing his mind that if this phone were human, it would probably be named Kim Jongdae. Then he glanced at the time on the screen and realized they’d been on the phone for half an hour!
“Jongin, that’s the sound of my battery dying so I should go.” Kyungsoo hoped the reluctance in his voice wasn’t too obvious but if Jongin picked up on it, he didn’t let on.
“I’ll see you Thursday after lunch, ok? I um … really enjoyed our chat. Good night, Kyungsoo,” he sounded endearingly awkward.
“Thursday after lunch, yup. I enjoyed myself too. Good night, Jongin.” He had just enough time to say ‘Good night, Jongin’ before the phone cut off. Kyungsoo’s emotions were in a swirling, disorderly mess and mess was something he normally hated – except he didn’t hate it this time. Because this time it was caused by Kim Jongin, who was in very much the same category as grunge music and gardenias. He would somehow find space in his ordered existence for all three, no matter what.
Kyungsoo stared at the four gardenia blooms which adorned the plant on his coffee table. The white petals didn’t stand out in his apartment the way the vivid green leaves did but they added the same quiet burst of life. Suddenly, Thursday seemed even further away than it had before the phone call. The gardenias seemed to be mocking him and Kyungsoo sighed heavily.
Two and a half more days. He could do this.
Chapter 10: Control is Overrated
KYUNGSOO
Kyungsoo managed to make it through Tuesday without texting or calling or seeing Jongin – and thankfully without killing his new potted plant. But it was Wednesday now and his resolve was beginning to crumble perceptibly. He had gotten off at Crossepoint, his usual train stop, and was now on his way to the Meyer Building. Perhaps it was the fact that he’d been distracted all week but he found himself inexplicably observing the goings on around him today – the expressionless, almost grim faces of passersby as they strode briskly by. Most of them had their heads angled to the ground, one hand toting a briefcase while the other was jammed into a trouser or skirt pocket. Everyone seemed to be hurtling swiftly towards their destination without registering anyone or anything around them. He imagined he was just as disconnected on most days and he didn’t like how the realization made him feel. Perhaps he had been getting too accustomed to a neatly compartmentalized life, mostly absent of color.
Perhaps it was time to let some color into his gray existence, Kyungsoo thought as he reached for his phone. But before he could even access his contacts, a text came in. It was from Jongin – asking if he could come by after lunch that day. Kyungsoo’s fingers practically tripped over each other in their haste to type: ‘Yes! See you after lunch! :)’ He placed the heel of his palm in the centre of his forehead and shook his head in disbelief. He did not just use a smiley. Do Kyungsoo did not use emoticons. Do Kyungsoo was an adult. Do Kyungsoo was an accountant. What in the hell was he doing?! His phone buzzed. No words. Just a ‘:)’ … and the realization that a 1.5 day wait had just unexpectedly dropped to 5 hour wait. As bubbles of anticipation coursed through Kyungsoo’s veins, he found himself smiling for real.
-------
"Baek? You got time for a coffee?"
"Since when do you take unscheduled coffee breaks?" Baekhyun looked amused but he was already pushing his chair back and standing up to join Kyungsoo.
"Since I started having panic attacks during office hours. Just ... don't ask, ok? I need company which isn't Jongdae." Kyungsoo looked unsettled and nothing at all like the composed, buttoned-up individual he normally was at work. Baekhyun followed his colleague unquestioningly as he headed for the company cafeteria.
Kyungsoo stared deeply into the white, porcelain mug of steaming, black coffee. The dark surface was still swirling from when he'd stirred it earlier. It was a nervous habit because he never actually added any sugar to his coffee.
"You ok?" Baekhyun probed quietly. He wasn't the sort to pry but the other man looked like he needed to get something off his chest.
"I'm not sure, to be honest," Kyungsoo continued peering into the dark liquid before him as if it held the answers to all life's questions. "You know I like things to have structure, right? I mean I don't like surprises and I don't like sudden changes?"
"Yeah, that sounds like you," Baekhyun nodded sagely.
"So all of a sudden, my life is full of surprises and unplanned changes and this should be upsetting me, right? But it's not. Why am I not upset? Isn't that ... well, weird?"
"I don't think there's anything weird about it at all, Soo. If anything it's probably more strange that your life has been so structured all these years. I mean you're only in your 20s but you're always so cautious, ya know?" Baekhyun eyed him speculatively, "Does this have anything to do with the flowers you got on Monday? Is this about the secret admirer?"
"You could say that, I guess. Who am I trying to kid? This is totally about him," Kyungsoo sighed frustratedly, "I'm probably wrong about who it is even, but I really want to be right. Does that make any sense?"
"Kind of," Baekhyun chuckled, "So you really like this guy, huh? Who is he? You said he blushes a lot?"
"I've got this gut feeling it's the delivery guy. His name is Jongin and he's shy and he works in a flower shop because flowers remind him of his mom and he's just so ... and I just ... Yeah. Sorry, I'm not making much sense."
"You're making enough sense. And this is probably the first time I've seen you so flustered - not your style at all. He must really be something, huh?" Baekhyun rested his palm on Kyungsoo's shoulder in a comforting gesture.
"I don't like feeling like I've lost control of things." Kyungsoo looked mildly distressed.
"Control is overrated, if you ask me. You should just go where this takes you. If you really like this guy - whether he's the secret admirer or not - ask him out. So what if life gets a little out of control? Life's meant to be messy and yours has been mess- free for way too long. I reckon it could do with some shaking up."
Kyungsoo was thoughtful as he listened to Baekhyun's advice. He supposed he could do with a bit more excitement in his life. Then he took a sip of coffee and shuddered. God, it was bitter.
-------
Jongin had texted him 5 minutes earlier to say he was almost at MeyerCorp and Kyungsoo had been pacing nervously back and forth in Baekhyun's cubicle since. It was right next to the reception area so it gave Kyungsoo the perfect vantage point.
"Dude, calm down. I've never seen you so anxious," Baekhyun shook his head as Kyungsoo peeked at the reception area for the third time.
Kyungsoo glared at him then froze as he heard the 'ding' of the elevator. An index finger pressed against his lips, Kyungsoo observed furtively as Jongin's lanky figure emerged into view. His trim, long legs were clad in white jeans today and he wore a navy blue v-necked tee which he'd tucked neatly into the waistband of his jeans. Kyungsoo couldn't help noting how attractively slim Jongin's hips were. And then there were the tanned arms and his handsome face. Kyungsoo sighed in trepidation. He wasn't going to lie to himself - he was far too aware of Kim Jongin and his physical assets.
He watched quietly as Jongin self-consciously combed his long, silky fringe with elegant fingers, his eyes almost crossing as he looked up at the strands poking at his eyes. Then he carefully brushed the fabric of his tee. Kyungsoo's chest felt heavy with some unnamed emotion as he watched Jongin fuss with his appearance. It was like Jongin was making an effort to look his best for him and that consumed Kyungsoo with a whole plethora of feelings he wasn't sure he was ready for. Lost in his reverie, he barely registered the metallic sound made by the reception bell. Still overwhelmed, Kyungsoo turned desperately to Baekhyun, "I need a minute, Baek. Please?"
Sighing, Baek muttered, "The things I do for my friends," and disappeared behind the divider. Kyungsoo watched as the two men interacted briefly and then before he knew it, Baek was pushing him gently in the direction of the reception area and encouraging him softly, "Ok, you got your minute, Soo. He's waiting for you. Whaiting."
"Hi, how are you?" Kyungsoo's smile came naturally as he came face-to-face with the beautiful delivery guy.
"Good, I'm good. How about you?" Jongin's smile was shy but sincere.
"I'm good. So, I think I'd better sign that delivery receipt thingy first before we forget and you have to come back again," Kyungsoo laughed embarrassedly at his own lame stab at humor. Both Jongin and him were trying not to look at each other, but they kept taking tentative glances at each other. Jongin passed him the clipboard over and waited as Kyungsoo signed the delivery order. But as he was about the return the document, Jongin sheepishly told him he had to sign for another delivery.
"Huh? Me?"
Jongin carefully placed a small terracotta pot of vivid orange tulips on the counter while Kyungsoo gaped.
"Another delivery of flowers for me? But who?"
"It's not signed." Jongin said quietly, looking down at his feet.
"They're just amazing, Jongin. Are you sure you can't tell me who sent them?" Kyungsoo tried to sound as persuasive as possible.
"I'm sorry but I can't. Company policy, remember?" Jongin said it apologetically but his expression was evasive - guilty even.
"Jongin, I don't suppose you know what they mean? Orange tulips, I mean?"
"Um ... Orange tulips symbolize fascination, and happiness and warmth and yeah, that's about it, I guess." Jongin smiled awkwardly.
"They're really lovely and you're going to have to teach me how to look after them so I don't end up killing them! So I was wondering, if you haven't made any plans - would you like to maybe grab some dinner tonight? I know this great gamjatang place in Springvale. It's called Potato Palace." Jongin gave a burst of husky laughter at the silly name and Kyungsoo chuckled too, "Don't laugh! I know it's a really hokey name but their gamjatang is the best in town and since we both have to eat ... I mean if you're not doing anything and you like gamjatang."
"Yes!" Jongin blurted out his answer, his ears tinged an endearing shade of pink.
"Yes, you have plans? Or yes you'd like to have dinner with me? Or yes you like gamjatang ?"
"Dinner! I mean I'd love to have dinner! And um, I like gamjatang too." Jongin winced visibly at how clumsy his answer had been. Kyungsoo found it unbelievably adorable. Then, surprisingly, Jongin offered to pick him up from his apartment so Kyungsoo took out one of his name cards and wrote down his home address in his neat, angular handwriting. Jongin tucked it inside his beaten up brown leather wallet, then said he had to get back to work and he'd see him at 7.30.
As the steel doors slid shut, Kyungsoo's face broke into a wide grin. 5 more hours .