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Kevin had fucked up. Like thoroughly fucked up. He just wanted to fit in with his new team, because Kevin wasn’t good with new teams or people. All he wanted was to fit in and be a part of the team, hopefully without being in Thea’s shadow, seeing how this was Thea’s old team. But since Kevin was himself, he had gotten himself into a pickle; he didn’t know how to get out of, or how he was supposed to explain this to Jean and to Thea. Fuck, he had barely broken up with Thea before he spewed shit like this to his new team!
There had been talks on a local bar about a ‘get-together’ to celebrate their win and their small vacation, but the only condition was that - only couples could attend the get-away and when they approached Kevin one Thursday night and asked him, they probably already knew about his breakup with Thea or at least had figured it out, so he saw no point in trying to say that they were a couple, and he replied without thinking;
“I’m dating someone. I’m sure they would be happy to come.”
James, their goalkeeper, grinned from ear to ear, because the fucker lived on gossip and beer.
“I thought you had broken up with Thea Muldani not too long ago,” he said.
Okay, not all knew about his breakup. Or they were feigning surprise.
“It’s not Thea,” Kevin replied in a panic, when in retrospect he should have kept his mouth shut, because his entire team went dead silent at his announcement. A variety of ohs and cat calls echoed through the bar when the words sunk in and Kevin felt the heat rise in his face.
Jesus fuck.
“Is it Jeremy Knox? Jean Moreau?”
Holy mother of fucks.
Kevin swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling the bile and the panic rising in his stomach, because how the fuck was he supposed to get out of this mess?
“Y-You can’t tell anyone. Jean would kill me if he found out I mentioned anything,” Kevin said, digging his own grave deeper. James smirked across the room.
“I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“I’m serious, James. Don’t tell anyone,” Kevin pleaded without sounding like he was begging, even though he probably sounded like he was.
He wanted to bang his head against the wall and forget he existed, forget he had screwed up and jeopardised his friendship with Jean for the sake of fitting him. He sat in his apartment, staring out the floor to ceiling windows. There was a bottle of vodka in front of him, his unhealthy coping mechanism kicking into high gear whenever he got the slightest bit anxious, whenever he screwed the slightest bit up. The bottle was still screwed shut, unopened. He was trying to kick his drinking, but it wasn’t as easy as it was to quit cracker dust in college.
He looked at his phone in front of him and double tapped the screen to unlock it, and stared at Jean’s open contact information. He should call him and explain how he had told his entire team they were dating. Or well, he had implied they were.
His phone rang, and Kevin picked it up without looking at the caller ID.
“Jean?” He asked, sounding hopeful.
“ Nope. Try again ,” Thea said, and Kevin could hear the smile in her voice.
“Fuck, Thea,” he sighs deeply into the phone.
“I heard you two are dating. I’m not sure if Jean knows, though. ”
Fucking James.
“Did James tell you?” he asked, unscrewing the cap off the bottle of vodka, taking a quick swing of the bottle. The liquid burned down his oesophagus, but he drank it without pulling a grimace.
“ You know James can’t keep a secret to save his life,” Thea said, and took a sip of whatever she was drinking herself. Kevin knew James couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, but he had still hoped James wouldn’t run his stupidly enormous mouth.
“Do you think Jean knows?” Kevin asked, taking another huge sip of his bottle, feeling the liquid burn its way down.
“ Who knows? Maybe you’ll find out tomorrow ,” Thea said, much to Kevin’s displeasure. The old teammates talked for hours about their new lives since they broke up and Thea changed teams. But it was nice to know that Thea wasn’t angry or upset about all of this, because Kevin could very well have said that he and Thea were back together, but he went and shot himself in the foot by saying Jean’s name.
He didn’t realise he had fallen asleep, hugging the empty bottle of vodka to his chest and his phone out of battery on his phone, dead and on the floor with a shattered screen, before someone nudged him awake. Kevin looked up with squinted eyes, looking around him for whatever nudged him awake, making the grave mistake of looking out the window at the sun. He hissed and someone snorted toward his kitchen.
“Thea?” he croaked, his throat dry and mouth feeling like the Sahara desert.
“Try again,” said a deep voice from the kitchen.
Never had Kevin sobered up so fast before. Not even when Andrew would threaten to cut him or leave him somewhere. Kevin sobered up as fast as hearing Jean’s voice. He sat up straighter, putting the bottle down on the floor beside his shattered phone. He got up on unsteady feet and moved to the kitchen, needing to see if Jean really was in his apartment, or if he was having another cruel nightmare.
When he got to the doorway, he stopped in his tracks when a smell of freshly baked bagels and coffee and the sound of metal hitting glass hit him.
“You’re really here,” Kevin said and walked over to him, almost stumbling over his own enormous feet. He pulled Jean into a tight hug, still not believing that Jean was here until he felt Jean’s body against his own. When he got over the initial shock, he pulled back a little. “How did you get in?”
“Thea called. Told me you were getting piss drunk and about the pickle you’ve put yourself in and then she let me into your apartment, because you have left the other key with her,” Jean said and gently clapped Kevin’s shoulder and went back to whipping eggs in a large glass bowl. Kevin stood frozen in his spot and it felt like the ground beneath his feet disappeared, because he knew what Jean was going to ask of him.
Please don’t say it, Jean.
“Apparently… you’ve told your team that we’re dating.”
Shoot me now.
“Kevin?”
Kevin wasn’t sure he was even present anymore. He wanted to disappear and never resurface again. He was embarrassed and humiliated, and he wanted to chug down another bottle of vodka to forget he existed.
“Earth to Kevin.”
He could hear the beating against the glass stop and he could hear the sink turn on and off, before he noticed Jean in front of him, but he didn’t really notice him until he took his head between his hands and made Kevin focus on him.
“Breath, Kevin. I’m here and you need to remember to breathe.”
Kevin sucked in a deep breath and felt his soul return to his body. He reached up and put his hands over Jean’s, feeling his rough hands underneath his fingertips. He should apologise to Jean for dragging him into this.
“I’m sorry,” Kevin whispered, and Jean smiled. He didn’t understand why Jean was smiling?
“Don’t apologise, Kevin,” Jean said, and pulled his hands away. “I have to use the bathroom real quick, so stir in the eggs to make sure they don’t burn.”
“I know how to cook eggs, Jean,” Kevin sighed and poured himself a cup of coffee as he stirred in the eggs. He heard the toilet flush and the door open, but Jean was being suspiciously quiet as he moved around the apartment. Kevin brought his cup up to his lips to take a sip, when turned his head and saw Jean in the doorway with a triumphant smirk on his face.
“What did you do?” Kevin asked.
“Check Instagram,” Jean replied, and took Kevin’s place by the stove, sipping Kevin’s cup of unsweetened coffee. “Ew. This needs sugar.”
“Don’t drink my coffee,” he said and went to put his phone in the charger and waited for it to have enough battery to power up. He opened Instagram and was completely baffled by the pictures Jean had taken of him by the stove - one where he wasn’t looking into the camera, with his cup of coffee in his hand, the other where was sipping in his cup and looking towards Jean.
“Oh my god Jean,” Kevin groaned loudly.
“Relationship announced,” Jean said when a text from Andrew came in.
Fucking finally. You’ve been lusting for the French man for years.
Kevin spluttered and almost dropped his phone. He rubbed his forehead and looked towards Jean in the kitchen. Andrew wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t want him to be right, either.
I can do this.
“Breakfast is ready.”
You can do it, Kevin.
Kevin never imagined that he would be in a fake relationship with a childhood friend of his, because he was too much of a coward to tell his team the truth about them or his inability to keep a relationship going. And here they were, at a couple-only vacation with his new team. He looked at Jean as he mingled with his teammates and their girlfriends and wives.
Jean looked like he was having fun with the whole fake-dating-ordeal. He liked to torture Kevin by taking pictures when he spent the night. Took shirtless pictures of Kevin in bed, with messed hair and the sun peeking through his curtains, sometimes of Kevin sleeping on his stomach and his back dimples clearly showing.
And when they were walking down the streets of Kevin’s neighbourhood, Jean took his hand and held it in his. Kevin probably looked a little star-struck, but who wouldn’t when Jean held their hand.
But Kevin didn’t mind, because he could pretend that Jean loved him back. He was sitting on the porch watching Jean in the pool with some of his teammates and their partners when James sat down next to him.
“So you weren’t kidding,” he said, and he had the audacity to sound surprised. Kevin wasn’t a liar, but he would lie on omission if it was necessary.
“I don’t kid, James,” Kevin said, trying to sound as dry as possible to make James go away. “It’s not my style.”
James stretched his arms above his head and laid down on the deck. “I know. But we all thought you were kidding, and it seemed oddly convenient for Jean to post pictures of you the day after.”
Kevin wanted to bang his head against the wooden railing until he was unconscious. He knew it looked convenient, and it was convenient for them to post pictures on their social media accounts. Sure, his agent wasn’t happy with this stunt, but she had to roll with it, and so had Jean’s agent. They couldn’t just go out and deny everything, because then Kevin’s lie would have been discovered.
“We didn’t feel the need to go public until you guys started asking,” he lied and felt his stomach knot up, because he wanted this to be real. He wanted to tell Jean how he really felt about him, but he wasn’t ready to lose a friend over his feelings.
“Well… truth be told,” James said, and sat up again. He leaned in close to whisper into Kevin’s ear. Kevin noticed Jean was gone from the pool area. “I still think you’re faking it.”
Kevin’s breath hitched and held onto it. They had been found out, and James was going to expose them and let everyone on the team know Kevin was a fraud and a liar. A liar that lied about being attracted to men, which wasn’t a lie, but a truth Kevin wasn’t quite ready to share with the world yet.
I’m a liar.
“Are you done teasing my boyfriend?” Jean asked as he appeared in front of them on the steps leading to the porch. Kevin let out a slow breath when he heard Jean’s voice, but it didn’t stop him from panicking. His fingers were digging into his thighs, his nails making halfmoon marks on his tanned skin. Jean took two steps up the stairs and stood in front of Kevin. “Come on.”
Kevin nodded and got up, but his knees were shaking. Jean looped an arm around Kevin’s waist and held him up in a sideways hug. Jean kissed Kevin’s cheek and glared at James for making Kevin panic. He helped Kevin inside and up to their shared bedroom before he let Kevin go.
“He knows. James knows we’re faking it, Jean,” Kevin said in a hurry and paced the room, his hands buried in his hair. “He knows Jean… we’re so screwed. He’s going to tell everyone I’m a fraud and a liar, and then they’ll kick me off the team--“ he stopped rambling when Jean took his head between his hands.
“Kevin. Relax. Deep breaths,” Jean said, and when Kevin didn’t take a deep breath, Jean took a deep breath to make Kevin mimic him. When Kevin had calmed down, he sat them down on the bed. Jean sat against the headboard and one hand buried in Kevin’s dark hair, and Kevin was lying next to him, curled in on himself. They didn’t speak as Kevin calmed down and thought like a rational person again.
“I shouldn’t have pulled you into this,” he whispered and Jean’s fingers tightened around his hair. “I mean… I just blurted out your name because, maybe I thought… that you would feel the same way as me, but I didn’t want to tell you, because why would you like me in the first place,” Kevin rambled quietly, hoping that Jean was asleep because of how quiet he was.
Until Jean’s fingers tightened in his hair.
Fuck.
“Kevin,” Jean murmured, his voice barely auditable in the quiet room. Kevin said nothing, mostly because he had once again fucked up. He had thought Jean was asleep, still with his hand in his hair. Kevin curled in on himself again and tried to pretend that Jean wasn’t there, but Jean pulled his hand from Kevin’s hair and until he was lying in front of him. “Kevin,” Jean tried again.
Kevin didn’t look up, too embarrassed and scared. Jean sighed and took Kevin’s head between his hands again and made Kevin look at him.
“Did you seriously think I would have agreed to fake dating you, if I didn’t have feelings for you?”
Well fuck--
“What?” Kevin stuttered, his eyes widening at Jean’s confession. “You… what?” Jean snorted, which only seemed to confuse Kevin’s brain even more. Kevin was lost in his thoughts, because he didn’t notice it when Jean came closer, only when he felt Jean’s lips against his own. He sighed and tried to make the kiss last longer, but Jean pulled back almost as quickly as he had kissed him.
“You’re stupid, you know that?” He hummed softly and let go of Kevin’s face before he leaned in to kiss Kevin again. Only this time, Kevin kissed back.
“So I’ve been told,” he said against Jean’s lips. Jean chuckled and pulled Kevin closer, kissing him again.
Perfect.
They spent the rest of the trip glued to each other’s side, sharing gentle but careful kisses. Sometimes they rubbed it in James’ face because it was fun to watch him be wrong. He was never wrong, according to himself, but turned out he was. The women crowded around them, because it was often Exy players came out of the closet like they had, along with Andrew and Neil, but they had always been out and proud - or as Neil said;
‘I’m Andrew sexual. He’s my partner and I love him and no one else. Anyone who thinks they can break us up, will get kicked down from whatever pedestal they’ve perched themselves on.’
Kevin had never had a crush on another man besides Jeremy, but Jeremy was all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns, which was fine, but Kevin felt like he was getting blinded whenever they saw each other, plus, Jeremy had a mad crush on Jean and Kevin didn’t want to spoil their chances.
Then Kevin realised he had feelings for Jean, but he was still with Thea, so he would not act on his feelings. Until they broke up because they had grown apart. They were still friends, but now Kevin had the chance to act on his feelings, which he had. Because now, he was curled up in a hammock with Jean, his teammates doing various activities around the vicinity of the house.
Kevin smiled into Jean’s hair, his arms tightening around his shoulders to keep him close. He over the garden, some of the girls playing water polo in the pool while the guys were setting up the grill.
“What are you smiling for?” Jean asked, pulling Kevin out of his own thoughts.
“I just thought about how lucky I am. And happy I am that you liked me back,” Kevin said and kissed Jean’s hair. Jean pulled back enough for him to look at Kevin.
“You stupid, you know that, right?” Jean mused and sat up in the hammock, almost making Kevin tumble out of it, but he just grinned up at Jean.
“So I’ve been told by my boyfriend,” he said, and Jean chuckled, making Kevin smile wider.
Yeah, I’m one lucky guy.