Chapter Text
Will feels supremely out of his element.
He knew when he signed up for the tour at Samwell that he would be out of place. This place was all the things he was not, and it showed more than he wanted it to. That other guy, Derek, was more the Samwell type. Or Chris, even.
And especially Bitty. Bitty was the Samwell type. Will knew enough about the school to know that Bitty was right at home here, after just seeing the guy for the first time. Not that Will was snapping to judgments. But he kind of was. And Bitty is actually on the team, not just a manager. Talking to Derek and that guy who introduced himself as “Shitty,” he voices his musings, which he thought were relatively harmless, aloud.
“That guy? Wow, I thought since Jack Zimmermann played here, guys would be… less good at baking, if you know what I mean.” No one responds directly to him, because Chris is half-shouting about enrolling and Bitty is in conversation with Larissa (Will can’t bring himself to call her “Lardo” just yet), but Will does catch Shitty’s eye roll and Derek’s little huff. What? Guys like Bitty would have been torn to shreds if he were on Will’s team. Will doesn’t think that’s right, but it’s true.
The further they get on the tour, the more Will feels like this is not the place for him.
Bitty is… to put it simply, wonderful . Like, how can a guy be this freaking nice? And those pies were awesome. And even though Derek is carefully avoiding talking to him directly, Bitty includes all of them in everything and tries his best to get Will talking as much as Chris or Derek.
“Maine? Wow! So, I’m guessing you like the cold too, Will? These Canada boys are killin’ me with their refusal to wear proper winter gear.”
“Computer science, that’s a good one! I don’t know much ‘bout it, to be honest, what’re you thinkin’ you’d like to do with it?”
“Four siblings! Oh my, where do you fall in the order? How do y’all get along? I’m an only child and I never really understood if siblings were like your best friends or more like you fight and don’t get along. All the TV shows have different stories.”
Will, strained at the sheer amount of social interaction he’s been doing today and trying not to stare too much at Bitty’s light freckles on his nose , manages to respond, “A little of both I guess? Like, I’d do anything for them but they’re sometimes the people I’m quickest to get frustrated at, maybe.” Talking with Bitty is this horrendous mix of exhilarating and exhausting. For some reason, he really cares what this small boy thinks of him, and overthinking everything he says and does to try and get that approval is getting old really quick. But he can’t not .
Derek, surprisingly, pipes up then. “Yeah, that’s how me and my sister can be, too.” Will tries to smile, Mary had been telling him for weeks to Smile, Will, that’s how you’ll make friends . Derek just looks back at his feet. Shit. Will cannot handle this much socializing in one day. He is introverted and just not fitting in. Ugh.
Bitty smiles at the conversation though, and Will’s stomach does this little swooping thing. Stupid anxiety. Chris chimes in with some story about his cousins, and they all listen politely. Chris seems to be one of those people that you can’t help but like. Even through his exhaustion, Will finds the guy endearing. Bitty seems to be in a similar boat, smiling at Chris kind of like how Will looks at his littlest sister sometimes.
When they reach the end of the tour, the guys are supposed to have dinner in the dining hall and then stay in some of the teammate’s dorms for the night, and do some of the more academic stuff tomorrow, like meeting professors and sitting in on a class. But Bitty walks the to the dining hall, swipes them in, and quickly explains where everything is.
“And now, come with me back to the Haus!” he says sweetly, and turns around to walk right back out.
“Aren’t we supposed to eat?” Chris calls to Bitty’s retreating form.
“That’s the plan!”
A little helplessly, the guys all follow Bitty, who just wasted a meal swipe to show them the place and then not get any food. When they approach a rickety two-story with a slightly sagging front porch, Bitty stops, somehow puts his arms around Will and Chris, who are both significantly taller than him, and pulls Derek in next to Chris, keeping a hand on him.
“Now boys,” he starts, and Will swallows as he feels his heart rate rise. “This here, is the Haus. If you do decide on Samwell, which I certainly hope you do, this will be one of your homes away from home. Whether you live in the Haus or not, all are welcome here at any time, and our door is always open.” Will feels uncomfortably warm, and his side and shoulder pressed under Bitty feels like fire. His heart is going way too fast, and he thinks his face is probably redder than usual. Thankfully, Bitty releases them and gently pushes them up the porch steps and in the door which was opened by a blonde guy who seems larger (and louder) than life.
As it turns out, instead of dining hall food, the tour members are treated to a team dinner made by none other than Bitty. The food is excellent, and Bitty keeps smiling and saying sweet things the whole meal. Will looks at his plate a lot, the feeling of being overwhelmed increasing the longer the night goes on. He sits next to another large guy called Ransom. Ransom is… calming. He seems to notice Will’s stress but not pry into it or try to fix it, just makes little comments here and there so Will is still included but not pressured to participate fully. Will feels extremely grateful.
Entering the meal about twenty minutes after they start eating, Jack Zimmerman n slips in and takes a seat next to Bitty at the corner of the table. Will didn’t even notice there was an empty seat there. And if Will was feeling overwhelmed before, being in the same room as Jack Zimmerman n certainly doesn’t help. He’s just so… unreal. He’s quiet and almost seems like he’d rather not be there at all, but Will could understand why. As endearing as Chris may be, will is sure that his energy and enthusiasm might not be best directed at questioning Jack about the NHL.
Will remembers back when Jack first started getting well known in the hockey world, apart from just being Bad Bob’s son. He remembers watching Jack’s first big games, and being mesmerized. He also remembers some very awkward dreams about Jack Zimmermann. Now he is sitting at a dinged up kitchen table in a pseudo-frat house with him, and Will is still mesmerized. He needs to look away or his staring is gonna be noticed and that’s just weird. No one likes the weird kid.
Thankfully, the meal eventually winds down. As everyone is getting up and moving into the living room, Will steps over to where Bitty is gathering dishes and grabs some plates to move to the sink.
“Oh, Will, honey! Let me do that. You’re a guest.” Will’s stomach swooped again at the endearment.
“It’s-” His voice did something weird, so he quickly cleared his throat. “It’s no big deal, I don’t mind helping.” He picked up a stack of silverware to set in the sink. Just like an old house, to not have a dishwasher.
“Nonsense,” Bitty said with a faux-frown, looking almost cute in his disgruntlement. He lightly smacked Will’s hand as he reached for the cups. “Now shoo, I know you’re tired, go hang out with those boys for a few minutes and I’ll be right there.” This was accompanied by a shoo-ing motion with his hands and a refreshed smile.
Helpless to refuse, Will wandered into the living room and quickly decided between empty spaces next to Chris on the couch, or Ransom on the floor. He liked Chris, but thought there would be less attention on him if he were near Ransom, so he sat on the floor with his knees up in front of him and tuned in to whatever they were talking about.
“-like Andover?” Nursey was asking.
“Brah, it’s nothing like Andover,” the guy called Shitty was saying, waving his hands. “Like yeah, the lax bros might be a little Andover-ish but mostly even they aren’t the same level of privileged assholes.”
“Remember this day forever, guys, Shitty said something semi-positive about the lacrosse team,” a guy chirped with an elbow in the side to the guy next to him. Will thinks he was introduced as Wicky. Or maybe Ollie.
“That should let you know just how craptastic Andover was, frogs,” Shitty replied, pointing a finger at them.
“What’s Andover?” another guy asked, one of the sophomores maybe.
“Our high school,” Nursey answered. He was lounging on the floor, leaning against a recliner that currently held the duo from before. Ollie and Wicks, or Wicks and Ollie. Will wasn’t sure that a recliner that old should really be holding two college hockey players.
“And let me tell you, Clark, it was the worst. Full of preppy, conservative assholes on Daddy’s dime who thought they were hot shit. Like, Chad M. lax bro levels of douche, but the whole school,” Shitty continued. “The school itself had supposedly progressive policies but most of the kids were just shithead republicans.”
“Hey, my parents are shithead republicans,” Ollie warned with a laugh, which was joined by a few other guys. Will was a little confused. Ollie didn’t actually sound defensive, but Shitty was being a little judgmental. Will didn’t talk with his parents much about politics, but he was pretty sure they skewed republican most of the time.
“Yikes,” the goalie, Johnson, added. Larissa nodded sagely while more of the group laughed along. They were seated next to each other on kitchen chairs dragged into the corner by the TV.
“What’s your high school like, Will?” the blonde guy, Holster, asked. Will tried not to let his displeasure at being put on the spot show on his face.
“Uh, normal, I guess? Some kids are assholes, but most are pretty normal, I think.” Will didn’t like the skeptical look Derek was giving him.
“Are they like teen movie jock assholes or homophobic and sexist assholes?” Wicks wondered, somehow making the question sound lighthearted. Will has to think about the answer and his heart is pounding again.
“Uh… I mean a lot of folks around the area are more conservative, but they tend to be mostly quiet about it, so maybe more teen movie jock type? But there’s plenty of worse crap too,” he answers.
“Hm,” Shitty responded, nodding at Will. “Well, you seem alright. I’m just glad our team doesn’t have that shit.”
“So you guys really are like… not, uh, I mean, in the locker room or on the ice, you don’t like, call each other bad names and stuff?” Chris said hesitantly.
“Dude, no!” Holster nearly shouted. But Will was starting to think that was his default volume. “We chirp and shit, but never like, in a derogatory way.”
“Like, you can call someone an asshole but not a pussy,” Larissa explains. “Or like, your chirps are just to one person and don’t put down a group, like ‘you skate like a girl’ or whatever.”
“And absolutely no slurs,” Ransom adds. Holster holds his fist out to bump and Ransom rolls his eyes with a small smile as he connects their fists. “Of any kind- racial, nationality, sexuality, all that,” Ransom finishes.
“Wow. That’s just-” Chris seems to look for the words, and everyone waits patiently. “That’s really awesome. My team now… they can be fun guys but they’re just the worst kind of jocks. This sounds really refreshing.”
“Totally,” Derek agrees. Will nods, but from the look Derek is giving him, he doesn’t feel confident. Why doesn’t Derek like him? Shitty and some others affirm and the conversation continues, moving onto some conversation about professors and what happens with class stuff and homework when there are roadies. Will listens along but stays quiet.
Bitty finally comes back from doing the dishes, Jack in tow. Will’s heart skips a beat when Bitty claims the piece of floor next to him and sits down cross-legged, Bitty’s knee brushing his own calf. The conversation continues a little longer, and Bitty pulls him into it a few times, but he keeps his contributions minimal. He thinks he’s better off as an observer for now, hopefully he can’t screw up anyone else’s opinion of him. Derek keeps shooting him a weird cross between a glare and something skeptical.
Finally, it’s time to head back to where they’re staying for the night.
“We would’ve had y’all stay here but since you’d be living in freshman dorms, it’s best you get to see some for yourselves tonight. Everyone sleep tight and we’ll see y’all at team breakfast before you head off!” Bitty says as they all hover on the porch with their assigned hosts. Will is with that guy from earlier, Ollie. Derek is with a sophomore they call Slick, and Chris is with Bitty. Will finds himself oddly jealous of Chris and relieved at the same time. Ollie seems alright though, so Will tries to keep his anxiety under control. They’ll probably both work on some homework for a bit and then go to bed.
Everyone walks back, and Ollie keeps up a polite conversation about Will’s plans for Spring Break (work) and who he’s rooting for this year (Capitals-his Mom’s family is originally from Maryland). Will finds himself calming down, reassured that this will be an easy night.
So he cannot comprehend how 30 minutes later, he is listening to Ollie’s relationship woes and desperately trying to figure out if this is a situation in which he should just listen and reassure, or try to offer advice. Not that he has any advice. Will would like to crawl under the bed and hide, but he’s pretty sure that won’t help in his quest to not be the weird kid.
“-and like, we get along great and I honestly think we’re both flirting intentionally, but it’s like, neither of us will cross that line and just say it? Which, I mean, makes sense, seeing as we’re on the team together. Like, what if it happens but it ends bad? Where would we be then?” Will just nods, sensing that Ollie won’t need input here. He’s right.
“I mean, I do really like him. And you saw him earlier, he’s fuckin’ gorgeous.” Again, Will nods, but for the life of him he can’t remember which one was Wicky and which one was Dustin. “I just… don’t want to have to make the first move, you know? But also, it’s not fair to expect him to make the first move, and maybe we shouldn’t even be making moves at all. He’s my best friend.” Ollie sighs loudly. “Team dynamic aside, I just don’t want to mess up us.” There’s an awkward silence, and Will thinks Ollie is done talking. He scrambles for something to say.
“That sounds… really complicated. Sucks,” is what Will finally decides on.
“Suck it does, Will. Anyway, sorry for unloading all this on you. I get all ramble-y when I’m not in big groups. I hope I’m not like, influencing your decision away from Samwell. We’re like, a pretty open team and all. But I feel like I can’t really talk about this with the boys because Wicky is their teammate too.” Will’s embarrassment and anxiety subside for a moment to make way for sympathy, because that does sound rough.
“Yeah, no, I get it. You’re fine. Like Chris said earlier, it’s… refreshing. That you all, talk about feelings and shit.” This makes Ollie laugh, and Will relaxes into his air mattress a bit. Ollie’s roommate isn’t here, but Ollie promised him that an air mattress was more sanitary than his roommate’s bed.
“Feelings and shit are kinda our thing. We have a bit of a rep at Samwell. It’s not a bad rep to have though. Shitty said that like five different kids came out to him last year, mostly out of nowhere. We kinda like being known as the feelings guys. Although, we are also the loud fratty guys. But that’s mostly Holster,” Ollie jokes.
“It’s nice that you guys are so… open. Like, I wasn’t expecting that. You, or Bitty, you know…” Will trails off, feeling like his intended nice sentiment has been derailed into something that could be catastrophic. Luckily, Ollie saves him with a laugh.
“Yeah, I didn’t realize Bitty was on the team until the first day of practice. I thought he might be a manager in training or something. He was all quiet and showed up to team dinner with a pie and then looked mortified watching Ransom and Holster shovel down their pieces. Turns out he’s wicked fast and really good with the puck.”
“That’s cool,” Will responds.
“Yeah, and like, I’m not out to the team, technically, but I think they're on to me. I know that when I do tell any of them, it will be alright. A few of the guys are like, indifferent or just chilling on the outskirts but the core group is like, super supportive. If you were worried about that, you definitely don’t have to be,” Ollie adds, fiddling on his phone at the same time.
“Oh no, I’m not- Uh, I’m not, gay or LGBT. Just, uh, glad to see the team so supportive,” Will stammers. He isn’t used to it by any means, but it is a good thing to see, and different from his high school league. Ollie gives him a look, some skepticism and something softer, but Will looks at his own phone for a distraction. Chris has texted him a few times about the other places he is looking not measuring up to Samwell.
“That’s chill. We definitely are that. And our program is growing stronger too, I think our culture will spread as the years go on if we get more attention for tournament stuff.”
“Yeah, for sure,” Will agrees.
“Were you hoping to stay up late? I don’t have much homework to get done and we had early practice today, so I was hoping for an early night,” Ollie asks, looking away from his phone.
“Nah, that’s fine with me,” Will affirms. His own work can wait, he doesn’t really want to do it on this trip anyway.
“Cool,” Ollie responds, sitting up halfway to lean on his elbows and look down at Will. “I really hope you liked Samwell, Will. You seem like a really cool guy. I know it’s like, nerve wracking, your Taddy tour and all. But like, we really are a cool place. Sorry if it was a bit overwhelming.”
Will smiles and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. His sister’s voice is in his head again telling him to smile if he wants people to think he doesn’t hate them. “It was a bit overwhelming, but not bad. I liked it, for sure. I don’t know, with money and all, but the team was nice.” That makes Ollie smile again.
“Sw’awesome. Well, the bathroom is across the hall if you need it, don’t worry about waking me up. I have an alarm set, and Jared is staying at his girlfriend’s dorm so he shouldn’t be back tonight.”
“Sounds good,” Will says, shifting himself to be under the sleeping bag laying unzipped on the air mattress. A fitted sheet and a sleeping bag are better than dirty roommate bed, he guesses. He’s actually pretty comfortable.
“Night, Will.” The lamp by the bed turns out, but the light from Ollie’s phone is still there. He chuckles at something on the screen. Will feels a bit better than he did throughout the day.
“Night, Ollie.”