I never gave myself the time to mourn and I paid the price for that. My heart will always ache for never giving myself the time to feel and let everything sink in. Maybe if I had, when he got engaged and married, I wouldn’t have felt like my world caved in on itself.
But I learned that mourning never stops, it just gets smaller. Some days it becomes so big on its own like it’s the first day. And some days, it will be little rock that you can carry in your pocket.
Days like when I wrote the first chapter, are the days I used writing as a way to cope with the sadness I felt. To put into words a story that broke my heart.
I can express everything I feel and make it into art. Into a beautiful and painful art.
A mixture of reality and fantasy, of what was and could have been. To separate worlds meet to become one in a series called ‘Come wake me up.’
A series started from the pain that I carry from the heartache of the broken relationship between him and I.
He was my heart and soul for the year that we were together but things happened and things undeniably changed. He moved on and married, the dreams we once talked about became the ones he spoke to with her.
The ones that became a reality with her.