Chapter Text
dazai created “hey gamers”
dazai added 16 others to the chat
dazai: help me with crimson witch domain (=^▽^)σ
chuuya: no wtf do it urself lazy ass
chuuya: or is it too difficult for you to do?
dazai: chuuyaaaaa don’t be meaaan ( ・∇・)
chuuya: get someone else to help u, bastard
atsushi: i’ll help you dazai-san!
dazai: sushi you are my saviour rn
chuuya: gross
chuuya: did u add all of us in a chat to help you with your shitty game?
dazai changed chuuya’s nickname to: “chibi”
chibi: CHANGE IT BACK YOU BASTARD
dazai: but why chibi~ ( ◠‿◠ ) it suits u
dazai: also you can’t call it a shitty game when you’ve already spent $2000 on it (°▽°)
dazai: hat-rack finally found something else to spend on rather than that tacky wine
chibi: DONT INSULT MY WINE COLLECTION
chibi: obviously ur taste in general is just broken
chibi: and i’ll have u know that $2000 was well worth it for xiao
dazai: whaling with your port mafia salary and won’t even buy me welkin… i see how it is ( ´ ▽ ` )
chibi:
kenji: ooh oh!!! i’ll help with domains too!!! i need it for hu tao :D
kunikida: It is 2 am. Why are you all awake and why are we in a chat with the Port Mafia?
dazai: it’s never too late to game kunikida!
akutagawa: I’ll help too, dazai-san.
atsushi: actually good question kunikida, and why is akutagawa here???
akutagawa: Shut it jinko. I’m here because I’m obviously part of the Port Mafia.
akutagawa: I didn’t ask to be added here in the first place anyways.
higuchi: don’t insult senpai like that!!
akutagawa: It’s fine, higuchi.
atsushi: just leave if u don’t wanna be here lol
akutagawa: Now that you said that, I’m not going to leave.
atsushi: wtf ok then
gin: top 101 ways to get your bf to stay: starting at #1
atsushi: ???
akutagawa: ???
kunikida: This is a terrible idea…
dazai: is it really tho kunikida??? hmmm, who knows, maybe good things can come out of this ( ◠‿◠ )
atsushi: wtf dazai is me getting murdered by a goth a good thing???
akutagawa: Excuse me. You can’t talk about my appearances when you have those bangs.
atsushi: my bangs are perfectly fine
atsushi: you literally look like the edgy kid who shops at hot topic
atsushi: wait don’t tell me you actually shop at hot topic
gin: he does
akutagawa: …
atsushi: LMFAOOOOOOO
kunikida: Nevermind, I can't do this anymore. I’m going back to sleep. You guys better still make it to work later.
dazai: what a boomer lol
[3:05 am] dazai started a call
dazai: @kenji @atsushi @akutagawa join call（＾ω＾）
[3:05 am] akutagawa joined the call
[3:05 am] atsushi joined the call
[3:07 am] kenji joined the call
ranpo: gasp! cant believe you guys are gaming without me
poe: It’s ok ranpo. We can play together right now.
ranpo: poe ilysm
ranpo: minecraft?
poe: Sure <3
[3:15 am] chibi joined the call
chibi: WHAT THE FUCK??! I DONT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE CHILDE
chibi: MACKEREL STOP FUCKING SINGING ED SHEERAN SONGS
chibi: o my god please tell me i did not hear akutagawa singing too
gin: lmfao this is so fucking funny to look at
tachihara: x2
gin: tbf, there is an resemblance between the three
chibi: gin. tachihara.
tachihara: lol bye i was never here have fun with ed sheeran dazai
gin: x2
chibi: what did I do to deserve this at 3 am
chibi: WTF DO YOU MEAN BECAUSE IM SHORT??? IM PERFECTLY AVERAGE HEIGHT SHITHEAD
chibi: OH MY GOD MACKEREL HOW DID YOU GET THE WERETIGER TO START BULLYING ME TOO
gin: #justiceforgingers #justiceforshortpeople
tachihara: it’s truly a sad sight to see.
gin: it’s terrible. it’s so heartbreaking that gingers are treated like this.
chibi: when you two come to work tomorrow i’ll make sure to greet you two very nicely :)
tachihara: oh shit gin we gotta run
[3:30 am] kenji left the call
kenji: thanks for playing!!! i’m going to go sleep now!
atsushi: gn kenji
[3:53 am] dazai left the call
dazai: i’m out of resin Σ('◉⌓◉’)
chibi: i hope u got shit artifacts.
dazai: ok mr. flat def +1056
chibi: fuck u
tachihara:
chibi: tachihara i dare u finish typing that sentence
tachihara:
dazai: wow~~ chibi is being so aggressive
dazai: i think you should be saying fuck you to the system not me~
chibi: i hope u don’t get childe
dazai: CHIBI HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH CRUEL THINGS
gin: smh go to dms you guys are literally flirting
tachihara: gin you are so hot for taking the words out of my mouth
gin: i got ur back babe
higuchi: you guys are flirting too—
gin: nahhhh me and tachi are in a homie relationship
tachihara: indeed we are
higuchi: hmmm….
chibi: WHAT??? WITH THE MACKEREL? EW NEVER
tachihara: x to doubt
gin: ^
higuchi: ^
kenji: ^
chibi: the day i flirt with the bastard is the day he stops calling me short
dazai: kenji i thought you went to sleep
kenji: i forgot to turn off my notifications ;( you and chuuya flirt too much ;-;
gin: LMAOOOO idk who you are but i love you already
tachihara: ^
kenji: thanks!! you guys seem cool too :o now gn again
gin: night!
tachihara: i hope both of your pillows are cold tonight and your cushions are soft
tachihara > gin
tachihara: lmao i just realized ur bro and the tiger are still in the call together
tachihara: idk about u chief but i don’t think enemies stay in call together for over an hour
tachihara: sus.
gin: lmao they are definitely flirting in there
gin: oh shit just realized that the bet is finally getting somewhere???
tachihara: you sure you don’t wanna change? ;)))
gin: nah i’m winning this >:)
hey gamers
[4:47 am] akutagawa left the call
[4:47 am] atsushi left the call