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Urianger awoke for the second time that night, another dream fading as his eyes opened. But like a cut rope, it quickly slipped away, out of his reach.
Truthfully, it had first begun when he chose to study the stars. These dreams, like little motes, faded and out of focus, dancing across his vision. Sometimes voices and feelings, some warm and joyful and some decidedly cold and unpleasant. When he did not dream of holding his beloved in his arms, this was the place his mind went to.
The stars had always brought him comfort, even since he was a child, but never before had he felt such a strange pull towards them. When he had returned to the Source, he began his studies in earnest - and the feeling intensified ten-fold.
He did not understand why they seemed to call to him, begging to be seen, to be heard and understood. It made no sense. Stranger still was the fact that they seemed, recently, to cause his mind to drift towards the late Emet-Selch.
Perhaps it was the way the Ascian’s mouth formed around the word itself; the way he referred to Hydaelyn- ah, or, perhaps, whatever it was his kind had called the world that came before.
Too weak and feeble-minded to serve as stewards of any star!
The phrase ripped into his mind like a blade through fabric. Ah. Perhaps that is why the stars brought his mind to him.
But… no, that wasn’t quite right, was it?
As usual, he looked off into the ceiling, brows furrowed, trying to figure it out.
Was it because… no, no, it was… it was… gods, what was it?
Desperately his mind grasped for it. Something on the edge of his memories, something familiar, but with no rhyme or reason or seeming relation to anything at all. Why did he have such a strong association with Emet-Selch and the stars?
…Hades and the stars.
As Beetle slept peacefully beside him, he wondered, and wondered… and then he wondered why he was wondering in the first place. Why did this plague him so? Why did he long for the answer when he did not even know the question?
Fast as his mind ran, sleep eventually overtook him, and he began to dream.
The stars appeared slowly, one by one, and there he sat in an observatory chair, gazing through a large astroscrope.
“You work too hard,” he heard a voice say, “It is late. Time for my morning star to come home.”
“Bah, there is a section I have not yet studied tonight,” he found himself saying, but with a very, very different voice, “Let me chart it and then we can leave.”
“Vesper.”
“Ohh, fine.”
He rose from the seat and gathered his things, as the robed figure he had been speaking to leaned against a railing.
“You know how Branwen worries,” he said.
“Tsk, I know how you worry, more like.”
Then the dream faded, warping like darkness into a new scene: he was being held in the arms of… someone. Who, he could not figure out, but they had him gently pinned against a cool marble wall, and their lips were locking together and their hands wandered all over the other… it was all alarmingly familiar.
“Oh, how terrible of you two,” a feminine voice had said, “To leave me out of such a thing.”
The dream faded and put itself back together again, and this time it was… lurid. No, downright filthy. He felt a body in his lap, and another behind him, both moving against him and sighing his name - what was it again…?
“Vesper, ohh, my beloved– I’m so close, please…”
The other figure peppered kisses all over his back.
“My loves, my loves, my sun and my stars… ohh, how I adore you both so…”
He soon felt a sweet, blissful feeling all over his body, running through him like water, over and over again, until he awoke with a soft gasp. He looked to his right: thank goodness, he had not disturbed his wife.
He shook his head, quietly rising to make his way to the kitchen for a drink of water.
The figure had called him something. Both of them had called him something. But what was it? By Thaliak, what in the hells was it?
He grunted softly in frustration; he knew he heard it. But it was slipping away from him, fading, fading fast - until he was forced to concede that whatever it was, it was most certainly gone now. Damn.
Urianger turned to return to bed, but stopped when he saw a bright star on the horizon. He approached the window and opened it, wondering…
“...Urianger?”
Beetle had awoken, descending the stairs.
“Ah. Beetle,” he responded, “I apologize for awakening thee.”
“Don’t, I can’t sleep anyways,” she said, sitting down at the couch, careful not to disturb little Prospero sleeping in his chair.
"Was having dreams," she said, sighing, "Those ones I used to have after we defeated Emet-Selch."
"Hades."
"...Yeah. Hades," she said, "This one was… odd. I don't remember a whole lot of it, but I think there was someone else there too. And another person, come to think of it… I got the distinct feeling I knew them all. I think… I think one of them… was Emet. Hades. Had to be."
Ohh, Hades…
He suddenly remembered a part of his dream, or… at least he believed he did?
"Beetle?" he said, voice tentative.
"Yes?"
"...Wouldst thou believe it strange if I told thee… I too wert having similar dreams?"
Beetle blinked.
“I might think it strange,” she said, “But I would still believe you.”
She motioned for him to sit with her.
“Come now. Tell me about it.”
He sighed.
“Much of these dreams involve the stars… many start the very same way: I, looking through an astroscope… before walking home… at least, a place I believe to be home, when I am dreaming… and there is always another. Always someone who walks with me. I remember naught of what is said, mind, but… the way I feel…”
He swallowed, and Beetle nodded.
“You feel happy,” she said.
He exhaled, relieved for her understanding.
“Yes,” he said, “In the moment that I am dreaming… I feel the way I doth feel with thee. Happy. Contended.”
He suddenly remembered his dream-self’s fingers intertwining with another’s, from a dream many weeks ago.
“...I feel loved.”
Beetle looked at him.
“What kind of place is it?” she asked, “That you dream of, I mean. Is it… is it Amaurot?”
Urianger’s eyes widened as sudden memories of the city, gleaming bright in all its glory, filled his mind. The way the stars glittered above the towering buildings…
“Yes,” he breathed, “I believe that is exactly what I find myself dreaming of.”
Beetle’s brow furrowed.
“So we really are having the same kinds of dreams,” she said, “So do you… do you dream about… him?”
A long pause, and the voice that sighed Hades filled his mind once more. The voice was given a very faint form, a towering form with soft skin and dark hair… long, beautiful dark hair…
“Of Hades?” he confirmed, with a sharp inhale, “Yes. I believe it is he I hath been dreaming of so often.”
Beetle sighed.
“Gods. It’s happening all over again,” she said, running her fingers through her hair, “And now you’re on it too. We’re both having flashbacks of memories from when we were Rejoined.”
Her face scrunched up in confusion.
“But… I thought we theorized this was happening to me because of Ardbert. Why is it happening to you? We avoided the Calamity - you should still only be seven out of fourteen shards whole.”
Urianger scratched at his chin.
“It may have naught to do with Rejoinings. Mayhap there art other ways one might become… aware… of such memories.”
Beetle shrugged.
“Or maybe seven times rejoined is enough, for some,” she said, smiling, “Maybe you’re just extra smart.”
He gave a laugh through his nose.
“I doubt mine intellect hath aught to do with it," he said, resting his chin on his hand, “Still… what vexes me so art not the content of the dream itself… but… my name. The name the others call me. I know I hear them speak it… but when I doth awaken… it is gone.”
Beetle nodded.
“I understand completely, love,” she said, “I still wonder what mine was. Learning I was ‘Azem’ was helpful enough, but… I wish I could remember my name.”
She thought of Ardbert.
“... Our name.”
Suddenly, another thought occurred to Urianger.
“Wait. The nature of thine own dreams… art they… romantic?”
“Well… yes,” she said, “I thought we went over this. Whoever ‘Azem’ was, they were lovers with Emet. I… was his lover. Or, we were. Whatever.”
She turned to him.
“But… are you saying… you think your dreams are also romantic, and about him? As in, you’re his lover too? Erm, in the dream?”
Urianger thought for a long while. Was it Hades’ hand he had been holding? Was it the other person’s?
Ohh, Hades--!
The otherworldly voice filled his mind again, and he began to put the pieces together.
“Yes. But, I believe… there art another. That is to say, in the dream, I am lover to Hades, as well as the other.”
“Who is she?”
They shared a look.
“I… I hath not called them a ‘she’,” he said.
Beetle’s eyes went wide, and she blinked, shaking her head.
“I… no, you didn’t, did you?” she observed, “...gods, then why did I--”
She suddenly yawned, a large, loud yawn that cut her off.
“Ohh, good gods, it’s too late for this,” she said, “I’m sorry. Is it okay if we go back to bed and shelve this for later?”
Urianger nodded.
“Of course, my beloved. After all, there is much to do, come morrow. We are still due to answer Ser Aymeric’s most recent letter about the Source wedding. And thou must needs see Tataru for thy fitting.”
Beetle groaned.
“Ugh, I almost forgot about that… it’s almost been a year. It's practically going to be an anniversary party. Think maybe we could just… skip the whole thing?”
He laughed, giving her a look.
“I doubt we couldst escape Tataru’s wrath, were we to do such a thing,” he said, “Tis not often we art given a second wedding. We shouldst be grateful for such a gracious offer. And besides that, couldst thou forgive thyself for breaking the heart of the Lord Commander?.”
Beetle gave a defeated sigh.
“Ohh, no,” she said, “He was so excited to throw us a wedding, I know. As was Tataru. Ugh. I just hope they don’t end up inviting everyone and their Ma.”
Urianger laughed warmly, taking his wife into his arms to carry her to bed.