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Virgil always found it soothing to just sit curled up to Remus’ chest, listening to his heart beating. There was always something so calming about the constant frantic thrumming, abnormal among the others as it was. He always knew when Janus was trying to impersonate Remus because of his familiarity with that real heartbeat. More than once Remus had offered to let Virgil borrow the real thing, reaching towards his chest to pluck it out, but that had always seemed a bit horrific to him. He was content to rest safe in Remus’ arms, ear pressed against his chest, listening with quiet adoration.
Remus would always tease him when Virgil complained about how Remus’ mustache would poke at his lips and tickle his cheeks when they kissed. Claiming it was his fault for dating the only side with facial hair, Remus would cover him with little kisses until he could not hold back from laughing any longer. He’d then threaten to make it prickle elsewhere until Virgil blushed redder than Roman’s sash.
There were so many of these little things, parts of Remus that stayed constant no matter what he said or thought. Even when Virgil was at his worst because Remus was at his best, he could count on strong arms, bristly kisses, trying to smug each other’s eyeshadow, and a constantly racing heartbeat to match his own.
Late one night, the pair sat curled together on the common living room couch. Virgil sat in Remus’ lap and listened with his eyes shut while Remus hugged him close, playing with the strings of his hoodie while they watched horror movies together.
“Three.. Two.. one,” Remus sighed. A sudden scream echoed about the living room and Virgil instinctively bolted upright, searching the shadows for danger.
“Just another jump scare, scarebear. This one is chock full of ‘em,” Remus quickly reassured him, pausing the movie and pulling Virgil back down to his chest.
Virgil sighed just a little more dramatically than necessary, “you know I hate jump scares. Why’d you pick that movie?”
“Sorry, jittery bug, I don’t know why this franchise relies so heavily on them. It’s such a cheap tactic when there are so many better ways to freak people out. I wish I could make the perfect horror flick,” Remus began to think out loud, petting through Virgil’s hair to calm them both down, “no jump scares. Just perfect psychological torture.”
“You’d be good at that,” Virgil chuckled, focusing on the cadence of Remus’ voice and the rough fingers running across his scalp, “who would you cast as the villain?”
“Why, me! Of course! I may only be Thomathy’s worst nightmare now, but I could be the world’s worst nightmare,” Virgil laughed at Remus’ enthusiasm, tilting his head up with a grin.
“But jump scares are half of how we get to Thomas. Would you really be able to go a whole movie without resorting to one?” Virgil smirked. Remus chuckled and leaned down to give him an unusually tender kiss, holding him closer still to his chest.
Remus pulled back softly, “I could do it if I had the perfect weapon. Frightening enough to keep people running but light enough that they never get away from me. Something like a scimitar or a- a-”
“A morning star?” Virgil supplied, pulling his hoodie tighter over his shoulders.
“Luci is great but he’s all top-heavy and unbalanced. A war hammer like Mjolnir though would be excellent,” Remus sighed dreamily, “imagine being worthy enough to hold Mjolnir…”
“You are in my eyes,” Virgil whispered.
“Heh. thanks, scarebear. Ready for the rest of the movie?” Remus giggled.
Virgil shook his head, burying his face in Remus’ chest, “no. no more screaming jump scares.”
“Awww,” Remus sighed defeatedly, “oh well, maybe the next one will be better.
“I’m sorry. I wish there was a way we could cuddle here and I could just listen to you and not the movies.”
“Noise-canceling headphones?”
“They cancel you out too,” Virgil huffed at the otherwise practical suggestion.
“Baby I was canceled so long ago…” Remus grinned with an evil glint in his eyes.
“Shh no, I want to listen to you,” Virgil curled in tighter, “I just don’t want to get freaked out trying to spend time together.”
“I’m sure we’ll figure something out eventually,” Remus hummed, an idea already forming in his mind that took a lot of strength to not immediately blurt out.
“Ro! Ro Ro Ro your ass directly on my boot! I need your help!” Remus knocked incessantly at his brother’s door, unable to wait another second. Beyond the door, Remus could hear annoyed grumbling, confirming that his brother was indeed now awake. “Ro, come on! I don’t have all night!”
The door opened on a bleary and ungroomed Prince still wearing red Disney pajama bottoms with gold Mickey Mouse silhouettes and a white undershirt.
“What the ever-loving frickity frack do you want, bitch?” Roman growled as Remus pushed his way past Roman into his room.
“I want to make a gift for Virgil!” Remus beamed excitedly. Roman stood in the doorway, too tired to stop his brother from snooping around.
“It is like 5 am. You’re a form of creativity- why do you need my help?"
“I need your help because I want to make a nice gift, dipshit. If I make it, it’s gonna be a disaster,” Remus moaned, falling dramatically to Roman’s bed.
“Oh my god, get off! You're going to stain the sheets, you cretin. Fine,” Roman shoved his brother and sat down next to him, “you do realize this is gonna cost you, right?”
“Sure, anything for Virgie. You’d do anything for your boyf-”
“What? You- You're crazy! I don't have- Anyway, what did you have in mind?”
"Something that he can selectively tune out different sounds and focus in on others. Ideally, it will fit with his aesthetic, you know?"
"I think we can manage that. Come along, Remus."
Virgil stood outside the door, chewing on the sleeve zipper on his hoodie. He needed to knock. He didn’t want to. He was anxious and only getting worse the longer he stood here where any side could see him. What would the others say? What would Remus think?
Virgil turned, convinced he had made a mistake, only to bump right into the side he thought should be on the other side of the door.
“Well, I’ve been expecting you, Virgil. Please come in,” Janus smirked, voice dripping with sarcasm and misdirection. Virgil shrank back farther into his hoodie, frozen on the spot. Janus sighed, “sincerely, come in. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve a visit from the high and mighty Anxiety.”
“Oh shut up! I just wanted to ask you for something,” Virgil’s voice shrank to barely above a whisper after the initial outburst, heart racing unpleasantly in his ears.
“Virgil, please calm down. You’re making me anxious.”
“That’s the point of me, Deceit.”
“Oh yes, I love that name now. That’s why I told everyone my actual name. Quit the games, come or go- I don’t care,” Janus pushed past him to his own door, “a pleasure as always, Virgil.”
“Wait! I- I need your help, Janus. May I come in? Please?” Virgil shuddered just asking. Janus smirked and held the door opening, waving Virgil inside with a flourish.
“Oh by all means, please make yourself at home, sweetheart,” Virgil gulped and followed Janus into the den.
Inside was sleekly modern, an upgrade from the last time Virgil had visited Janus. It had been a very different time back then. The changes seemed to reflect Thomas’ wavering new trust in his deceitful side, where corruption and rust had previously been concealed it was now being mended. Virgil took a long look around with a strange mixture of nostalgia and unfamiliarity.
“So, what could you possibly need from me that one of the other sides couldn’t help you with?” Janus asked smoothly as he took down two wine glasses from the shelf. With a soft clap the glasses filled with dark liquid.
“No thank you,” Virgil tried to refuse the offered glass.
“Relax. It’s gatorade. Just like old times,” Janus insisted as he took the other glass that was definitely wine and took a sip, “and if I wanted to poison you, well there are more fun ways to do that and not incriminate myself.”
“Gee, thanks. And you wonder why I don’t like you?” Virgil scoffed, carefully sniffing the glass for alcohol or poison. It indeed only smelled like grape gatorade, “okay, so... I want to give Remus a gift. But it’s gotta be on brand for him, and I don’t think any other side can... match his energy like you can.”
“What, a threesome?”
“WHAT? NO! Gross!” Virgil snarled.
“Foursome… ? Perhaps we could entice one of the others to join us,” Janus smirked.
“No! Oh my God! Stop hanging out with my boyfriend, you creep! Definitely not. Ugh,” Virgil bit back the remnants of his lunch that were threatening to come back up, “think more the horror side of what Remus likes. I want to make an immersive horror movie for him. I figured your illusions could actually pull it off.”
“Fascinating. That is a great idea that I definitely won’t be tweaking for his birthday,” Janus laughed and gave Virgil a stage wink, “so what do I get in return for this?”
Virgil gulped, “what do you what, you snake?”
“Something valuable,” Janus grinned, a third arm stretching out to lay on Virgil’s shoulder, “let’s get started.”
Remus bounced on the balls of his feet, overly excited to show Virgil the gift Roman had helped him to craft. He stood by their meeting spot in the imagination and tried to spy Roman bringing Virgil inside.
Virgil carried the small teleportation cube gingerly, shivering as Roman guided him through the imagination. The Prince had been giving him strange looks ever since he’d risen up in the creative side’s room. Virgil had been avoiding everyone since talking with Janus the week before and felt utterly exposed, but he was too excited to see Remus and his eyeshadow kept flashing a vibrant purple.
“You two are so dumb. Made for each other, practically,” Roman snickered, “aren't you cold?"
"Oh hush. Like you've never made a costume change. I'm fine," Virgil hissed the lie, straining to see through the trees.
"You just don't look right."
"Gee thanks, Roman."
"You're welcome," Roman beamed as Virgil rolled his eyes, "you do know the way from here, right?”
“I know the way from the castle, Princey,” Virgil snarked.
Roman laughed, “oh never mind, I am sooo sticking around to watch this.”
Virgil growled and pushed ahead faster than Roman, rounding the last turn in the path to find Remus standing by their tree. He rushed forward as quickly as he could without dropping the precious cube.
“Virgie!”
“Rem!” Virgil set the cube by the tree and tackled Remus to the ground before he could react, “I’ve got the best surprise for you- uh.. What’s with the mask?”
Remus’s eyes flashed in fear for just a moment, most of his expression covered by a black face mask printed with a cartoonish gaping maw of sharp teeth and a long twisting tongue dripping with drool. “Oh you know, can never be too careful during a plague!”
Virgil squinted, carefully pressing his ear to Remus’ chest. He sighed in relief and even more confusion when his heartbeat confirmed that this was indeed Remus and not some imposter.
“You’re a metaphysical representation of Thomas’ thoughts. You can’t catch a real-world airborne disease. And since when are you not stoked about disease? Rem, are you feeling okay?” Virgil asked, brushing hair out of Remus’ eyes.
“Trust me, babe. I’m fine. Wanna see what I got you?? You’re gonna love it!” Remus replied excitedly, sitting them both up and bouncing again.
Virgil pushed back his apprehension and nodded, “sure, but I also got you something- do you want to see that first?”
“No, me first!” Remus cackled gleefully and pulled out a gift box wrapped in stripes of green and purple, “open it! open it! open it!”
Virgil laughed and pulled at the paper, quickly unwrapping what looked like a simple pair of headphones decorated with his favorite purple plaid, “Woah.. What’s this?” he inspected the earpieces and found a nearly invisible shimmering patch of air next to each one that moved with the headphones.
“They're noise-canceling headphones! Except they’re tuned so you can still lay on my chest while we watch movies together. The magicy stuff here blocks out the screams and gory stuff without blocking out what you want to hear,” Remus explained and pointed out the patches of air, grinning broadly.
Virgil began to tear up, “Rem... This is beautiful…”
“They’ll even work through your hoodie so you can block out the flashing lights and blood and stuff too! Where is it? We can try them out!” Remus absolutely beamed with excitement, realizing for the first time that Virgil was missing his favorite hoodie.
“Uh… about that… um... Maybe you want to see your gift first?” Virgil suggested quietly, reaching behind them to the tree to grab the cube, “Janus actually helped me with this. Basically, it’s a teleport into a permanent tv set in the mindscape. We designed it so that you’d always be the Villain POV, gave you a bunch of cool weapons, and made the heroes with varying levels of intelligence so you can create the perfect horror movies! You can pick weapons and scenarios and all kinds of stuff. And everything is recorded.”
Remus took the cube and held it very gently, “how do I-?”
“See that divot right there? Press down over the divot and it will take you inside. There are five locations you can spawn in at,” Virgil explained further, taking and rotating the cube to show Remus the sets and divots, “do ya like it?”
“Virgie, I love it! Hang on!” With no further warning, Remus gripped Virgil tight and they melted into a room with a full array of unique weapons. “Oh my god, is that?”
“Yup. Mjolnir. Movie replica but still damn hard to pick up if you aren’t worthy,” Virgil grins, absolutely pleased with Remus’ excitement.
“This place is so great! Baby, I could kiss ya!” Remus exclaimed, ripping off the face mask to make good on his promise.
Virgil screamed in shock and horror. Remus looked like Roman having a bad makeup day. Virgil found himself quickly spiraling into a panic attack because Remus didn’t look right without his mustache. He dropped to the ground, curling in on himself and feeling dizzy, thoughts racing that maybe Janus had figured out how to mirror Remus perfectly down to the heartbeat but had forgotten the signature facial hair. He felt vulnerable and unable to take any comfort in Remus’ attempts to calm him.
“Virgie! C’mon, it doesn’t look that bad! Ro made me shave it in exchange for helping with your gift!” Remus pleaded, quickly pulling the face mask back up, but the damage was done. After a lot of cajoling, Virgil finally began to take measured breaths and follow the techniques Remus kept walking him through. He sorely missed the comfort of his hoodie.
“Why would you- Remus, it wasn’t worth it! Why would you let Roman do that?” Virgil finally managed to ask.
Remus sighed, “I wanted to get you the best gift. I needed his help and he wanted to see me without the mustache. I thought you kinda hated it anyway…”
“No. No no no, it’s part of you, and I love you,” Virgil whispered.
“I’m sorry, babe. Where’s your hoodie, that will make this better,” Remus replied, trying to be soothing despite everything working against him.
Virgil started laughing almost helplessly, “Janus…”
“What?”
“Janus took it... As payment for helping with your gift...” Virgil began to cry, burying his face in Remus’ stomach.
“He did what?” Remus' voice was stone cold and deadly sharp.
Virgil gulped, “it’s only fair, right? And you deserve the best- you did the same thing, really.”
Remus shook his head and gently encouraged Virgil to stand with him, “I think the fuck not. Hair grows back. Hell, I could have my mustache back tomorrow if I really tried. That hoodie. Nope. Unacceptable behavior, even from a dark side.” Remus growled as he spoke, glancing around the room.
“Well, not much we can do now-” Virgil shrugged, instantly missing the weight of his hoodie again during the habitual movement.
Remus shook his head, “look around, baby. There’s a lot we can do…” Remus grinned as he spotted the thick, solid-looking hammer, “pick something out. My rules now.”
Virgil bit his lip and eventually grabbed a telepathically controlled rope. Remus lifted Mjolnir easily, cackling at the pure power.
“And now, as a member of creativity- boom. Real,” Remus snapped and the rope suddenly had a much more tangible heft, shifting and squirming in Virgil’s hands like a snake fighting to free itself.
“Woah..”
“Jannie won’t know what hit him. No one steals my scarebear’s hoodie and lives,” Remus snarled, quickly sinking them both out of the set.
One very shaken snake man later, Virgil sat curled in Remus’ lap underneath their tree and wrapped securely in his hoodie. Virgil could hear the thrum of the lower tones of Remus’ voice as he brainstormed his first script aloud but focused on the steady beat of that true heart. The headphones worked perfectly and Virgil was reassured it always beat for him.
And if he stole a few clean-shaven kisses just to remember the day by, well who could that possibly hurt?