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"Good morning, Ma'am."
Madam Pince looked up from the list of new acquisitions that were yet to be sorted. She had opened the library just a few minutes ago and was surprised to see Minerva McGonagall standing in front of her. In her first years at Hogwarts, she had often been the first one to come and the last one to leave, but the poor girl was stressed out lately and couldn't make much time for reading.
"Do we have, um, books about names? Etymology, statistics... anything?"
Oh, right, the baby. On one hand, it surprised her a little that Minerva didn't have a name yet. But on the other hand, it was typical for her to do some in-depth research before she would make a decision.
"Of course, I'll show you..." Madam Pince led her over to the Language History section. "Name statistics here… this is a register of names and their meaning... right, this book about famous wizards and witches, that's in the wrong section, but you'll find it useful..." A delighted gasp interrupted her.
She turned around. Minerva was standing in front of the shelves for Entertainment, Genre: Other, adding a thin book that listed the best names of literal and cinematic heroines to Useless Facts About Greek Mythology and European Girls Who Influenced History, which she had found earlier. "I think I found what I need!" She was practically vibrating with joy when she went to the next desk and took a seat at the window.
Madam Pince followed her moderately and put the books down next to her. "When's it due?"
"If everything goes well, November should be it." She shrugged as she opened the first book and laid out quill and parchment for notes. "But you know how it is, the projects that matter most are always the ones with the complications."
She really had a pragmatic way of handling the topic.
The second one to enter the library was Severus Snape. He knew his way around the Potions and the Entertainment section pretty well. Today, however, he walked straight over to Minerva and sat down next to her.
"Still looking for a name?"
"Aye." She buried her face in her hands. "Feels like forever, and nothing fits. Do you know how much space those names take up in my brain?"
"Have you been on the graveyard yet?"
"The graveyard? I've been on three different graveyards, including Spinner's End. Nothing."
"Aww, and you didn't go for Eileen?"
Minerva let her hands down. "I am not going to name my heroine after your Mam, Sir! That's weird."
"Juliet?"
"Further, let me make it clear that I am not going to name her after my cousin. Idiot."
"Why aren't you two looking up any boy's names?" Madam Pince asked, checking if the encyclopedia behind them was in the right order. "You never know, right?"
"Well, actually..." Severus began.
"Oh, I have planned that far." Minerva closed one of the books with a bang. "Though I'm not sure about San Francisco, that's so far away..."
Maybe she wasn't only pragmatic. Maybe she was simply a madwoman.
"What about fairytale names, such as Cinderella... or Snow White?" Severus suggested.
"Mmh…"
"Snow White, Snow… I think I like Snow, what do you think?"
Minerva tilted her head. "Yeah, it's got a good sound, but I don't know..." She picked up her quill and scribbled something onto a piece of parchment.
Snow White McGonagall?! Madam Pince shook her head behind the shelves she was stacking. Hopefully they would come up with something better.
"Hey, are you going to kill her?"
Ex-ca-use me?!
"Severus!" Minerva laughed. "I'm not going to kill her."
"An accident, maybe?"
"No. Fucking. Way."
There she had her proof. They were both crazy.
"You could take a bullet. What about a poacher?"
"Forget it."
"How's peacefully passing away after a long, fulfilled, satisfying life?"
"No! She's supposed to live, okay?"
"You killed off a prostitute in that short story I liked."
"Yes, I'm like Jack the Ripper of modern literature." There was a pause while she leant back in her chair and laid a hand on her stomach. "Why is this so hard?"
"What about Alice? She deserves it."
"It's not like there was no Alice on the graveyards."
Severus sighed. Another pause.
"Federica," he said eventually.
"What?"
"In the end, you could always call her Federica."
"Seriously?" Minerva groaned. "Look, I don't think you get it. Federica just isn't the right name for a stray cat!"