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inhaling the morning air, tobio wake up from his deep sleep, although, he’d rather keep his eyes closed. he loves to take in the warmth of shouyou’s body curled against his and the repetitive slow rise and fall of his lover’s chest as he breathes.
he would, from time to time, try and match his breathing pattern with the orange haired boy but tobio would always find his breathing too slow.
and when he finally does open his eyes, he’d trace every single feature of shouyou’s face with his eyes .
‘he looks so peaceful and calm.’ tobio smiled at that.
compared to the boy’s overflowing yet admirable charisma and adrenaline, tobio finds himself astonished on how different he is when he sleeps. he kisses his eyes.
the sun always shone through the window and hit shouyou’s face. the light lining and emphasizing his sleeping face, it made him look like an absolute angel. which he is, tobio’s sure with that. he kisses his forehead.
and lastly, the gentle smile on his lips makes the butterflies in tobio’s stomach go wild and his cheeks tainted with a little bit of red. he kisses his lips.
‘it’s too early in the morning for this.’
he looks so peaceful and calm that tobio wonders how much it would take to ask the gods to stay in this quiet and peaceful scene for the rest of his life with this man.
a few minutes of admiring the love of his life passed and eventually his lover wakes up mostly because of the kisses tobio gave him. the shade of red on the boy’s cheeks grew deeper now that shouyou’s awake and is chuckling at the way tobio’s staring at him.
“you’re so in love with me.” shouyou’s laugh grew louder as tobio pushes his chest in embarrassment, “what? can you blame me? you do that everyday!”
with a kiss on the nose, tobio stood up and wore his slippers while stretching his muscles that were kinda sore all because of the slightly intense training their coach gave them the day before, “well, i am. deal with it for the rest of you life.”
shouyou follows him out to the kitchen while tobio’s in the middle of cooking food for the both of them. the smaller man sniffs his way into the kitchen until he reaches the pan, effectively blocking tobio’s view of the food he’s cooking, “if i burn this im blaming you.”
shouyou pecks tobio’s lips with an annoyingly (not really) wide smile then leaves the kitchen, “you burn our food everyday, im not even surprised!”
“no i don’t! toasted pancakes aren’t even that bad!” shouyou’s laughs grew louder, filling every corner of their home.
“not when it tastes like burnt pancakes! i love them though, thank you and i love you!”
—
saying that everything had been ‘messy’ lately is an understatement because tobio woke up to his alarm today. he might not remember it but it had been the fifteenth time his alarm rang and sixteenth time he pressed snooze for the past hour.
the events of the past months drained him so bad but he dared not to feel any more bad than how he feels now. panic rose from his chest when he looked at the time on his phone.
8:35
“fuck,” he managed to mutter before literally throwing his sheets off of him and the bed and he ran. probably faster than he usually runs in punishment drills but who knows, it’s been a while since he went to practice. and so he went to shower and got ready.
he grabbed a cheeses bread slice from the counter table before dashing through the front door.
keys, he forgot his keys and it took him almost all of his might to not punch himself in the middle of his neighbors watering their plants.
tobio’s all over the place this morning but its okay, he left it all in the house as he left with his car.
he made it. except for the fact that he skipped breakfast (he ate a slice of bread though) and barely even washed his hair but that’s not the issue here.
he walked through the door with the 158 number displayed on the door. it’s not new but it always made the air inside of his lungs leave and his stomach churn when he sees shouyou laying down on the hospital bed, smiling with a dim yet bright smile as he walks in.
tobio smiled back, “how are you, bubie?”
“im doing great, better than ever!” sho sat up but tobio rushed to push him back down on the bed, “that’s great sho sho but please be careful. you need to rest more.”
“come on tobio, i’m fine you don’t have to worry. besides, what the doctor said was good news right?” tobio stared at him, arms crossed and worry painted all over his face, “right?”
sighing in defeat tobio looked away, “right, but still be careful for me, sunshine.”
shouyou gave his lover a soft, warm smile this time and gestured him to lay down beside him. the once energetic man, now laying on a hospital bed (which felt very wrong for tobio) placed his hads on both sides of tobio’s cheeks and touched their foreheads together,
“we promised to make the best out of it, remember? you know i love you, tobio, and i plan to spend the rest of my life with you. i’ve gone this far for you, for us, so i’ll be careful. i’ll stay and hold your hand.”
tobio couldn’t trust his voice right now so he decided to nod. he kissed shouyou and poured everything onto it. everything he couldn’t say, he said it through the kiss and only hoped the shouyou understood it.
the saltiness of their tears combined didn’t bother him at all, it actually made him cry more. he hoped to all the gods that they would get out of this. he knows shouyou is strong enough, stronger than him even, to get through this. he knows shouyou loves him too much to leave him all alone in this messed up world.
“i’m sleepy,” shouyou said with a chuckle right after they parted. tobio gave a sad and comforting smile before placing shouyou’s head on his shoulder, “you can sleep, i’ll wake you up for lunch.”
shouyou smiled and kissed his cheek, “i love you.”
tobio felt at home even though the home they built all those years together was miles away from where they are now, “i love you, i love you so much. i don’t want you to forget that you mean my life to me,” and with that, shouyou slept with a smile that made tobio’s feelings overwhelm him.
tobio never trusted his gut feeling. he knows he should never trust his gut feeling but there’s something in him is telling him that shouyou’s breathing is slowing becoming slower every second the clock in the room ticks.
or maybe he’s just imagining things. he convinces himself that that’s the case and reminds himself that shouyou’s breathing is always slower than his, he never even once managed to match their breathing patterns but their heartbeats always did, maybe that’s a good thing.
no, shouyou’s definitely breathing slower than he should be. and with that tears started to brim tobio’s eyes once again. ironically, the clock hits 12 noon.
‘i should wake him up, it’s lunch. he’s gonna wake up, right?’
he gently shook the other’s shoulder and when he didn’t wake up, tobio’s tears started to flow harder and his chest felt heavier than ever.
he grabbed both of shouyou’s shoulders and shook him harder this time and when he didn’t mumble ‘five more minutes’, tobio started to let out loud and ugly sobs.
he cupped shouyou’s face with his hands and kissed his nose, then his forehead, then his lips and when he didn’t feel any draft of air coming from the face he doesn’t want to loose, not now please, he wailed.
‘you said you’d never leave me.’
it had been 10 months since shouyou was diagnosed with lung cancer, and it had been 10 months since he found it hard to do the three things he did every morning but not once he missed to do any of them.
this was the first time he didn’t take five extra minutes awake but not fully awake just to take in his lover’s warm body against his.
this was the first time he didn’t wake up beside his lover and admire his sleeping form.
this was the first time he didn’t cook breakfast for the both of them.
he can’t believe he won’t be able to do that anymore.
and how he wished he never asked the gods to stay in that quiet and peaceful scene for the rest of his life.
‘you sleep so peacefully, my love.’