Work Text:
Officer Tim Bradford was met by an exuberant Kojo as he wearily opened the front door to his home. It was dark outside, the usual traffic in his neighborhood quieting down hours ago. The air in the house was warm and stale. Tim didn't like to waste energy on keeping the airconditioning running while he was gone most of the day. He hit the light switch, dropped his bag to the hardwood floor, then bent down to scratch the dog's ears. "Sorry I'm late, buddy."
He walked to the back door to let Kojo into the yard, then turned on the airconditioning. Moving through the house he put his used uniform into the bathroom hamper, then grabbed a can of tomato soup out of the pantry. He was exhausted, wrapping up a rather gruesome crime scene after shift had ended, and then hurriedly driving to Angela's wedding venue to discuss the decorations and music.
He rubbed his eyes as the grilled cheese sandwich he was preparing sizzled in the skillet. If he had known then what being a man of honor entitled, he would not have been so quick to surrender to Angela's pleas. He snorted at his own naivety only a few weeks back, when he had ignited the fire on Patrice's wedding magazines, thinking that things would be easy from that point on. He had not realized, or maybe blissfully forgotten, how many months in advance couples had to make reservations on wedding venues, cake decorators and florists! He had always scoffed at people who were engaged for two years, but now he was starting to see the painful necessity of it.
After preparing dinner, and letting Kojo back into the house, he moved to the couch. Sinking back in the comfortable dark grey cushions, he let out a sigh. He lowered the volume on the sports channel while he took a bite from his sandwich. It had been a long day, but he finally started to relax a little as he watched highlights from yesterday's football games.
Finishing his bowl of soup, Tim realized he should get some shut-eye. But his head was still processing today's events, and he felt reluctant to get into bed in that state of mind.
His thoughts involuntarily turned to Lucy and her undercover operation as a chemist to keep lowlife criminals like Salonga out of the drug business for good. Although he had every confidence in her, he was still worried for her safety. It grated on his peace of mind that she had no backup, and that he couldn't be there to keep an eye on her. She had started the op only three days ago, but he grudgingly admitted to himself that he already missed her. He missed the sound of her voice. The way she would endlessly talk about this or that in the shop. Her light laughter when he chose to reply with a witty comeback. A tender smile appeared on Tim's face as he thought of her teasing eyes, looking up at him in warm invitation. That woman would be the death of him.
On impulse, he got up and walked to the dresser. He took out the silver colored mp3 player she had given him all those months ago to study for the sergeant's exam. He returned to the couch, turned off the television and kicked off his shoes. He put the earbuds in and lay down, closing his eyes as Lucy's voice washed over him. He felt his muscles relax as he listened to the quiet yet clear tone of her reading, the words familiar coming from her lips.
His mind started to quiet down and his breathing slowed as her soothing voice began to lull him to sleep, when there was a very long pause on the recording. He distantly registered that he had started the recording halfway through the last chapter. But he felt more calm now, and his tired body was ready to get some well deserved rest. Before he could find the courage to open his eyes and rise up from the couch however, there was a tapping on the recording, and the sound of shuffling. The scrape of a chair followed. Tim's brow furrowed slightly. He couldn't remember hearing this before. Did Lucy forget to turn off the recording after she finished the book?
He heard her let out a yawn, then groan tiredly, as if she was stretching her arms above her head. Tim's mouth quirked in amusement as he heard her mumble in that sassy tone of hers, "All done... You better ace this exam, Tim Bradford." Icecubes tinkled in a glass. Then Lucy started to hum under her breath, as she moved away from the microphone. He heard the scuff of a drawer being opened. Tim was now more awake, wondering how he got into this. He shook his head in disbelief, smiling that Lucy missed this part. He thought about turning it off, not wanting to intrude on her privacy. But some part of him also wanted to keep listening, these ordinary sounds that reminded him of Lucy sitting next to him in the shop, the humdrum between the adrenalin rushes. As if their cabin was the calm eye of the storm.
He continued listening to her humming as she moved around the room, when suddenly she burst into a heartwrenching ballad:
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Tim was now fully awake, his heart beating loudly in his chest. He was stunned. He didn't know Lucy could sing like that! He sat upright, holding the small MP3 player in both hands, his head bowed, elbows resting on his knees as he intently listened with his eyes closed. He felt his heart clench at the haunting melody, that he vaguely remembered coming from a musical.
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me.
Her voice was low and achingly beautiful, hesitating only a moment on those last words, and Tim shivered. He was suddenly brought back to that hot and heartbreaking day, as he and his fellow officers fervently searched the countryside, looking for Lucy's burial site. Desperation had clenched his heart and he would not rest until he found her. The moment he held the ring in his hand, he knew Lucy was close by. Those frightening moments of finding her unresponsive in the barrel, seeing her bruised face and not feeling her breath on his cheek, had left an emotional scar on his soul. His jaw clenched again as he remembered breathing life into her, restarting her heart. His frantic mind willing her to live. And she did live.
The song continued, and Tim took a shaky breath himself, unbidden tears welling up and staining his cheeks. She lived! He smiled through his tears, then laughed in disbelief. Lucy's whispered voice made him focus again.
I love him.
I love him, but only on my own.
What would he do without this crazy, beautiful, smart and way-too talkative woman? They'd gone through hell together, she had witnessed the darkest moments in his life with Isabel, and she had supported him throughout that ordeal. Oh, he had not always appreciated her input, not right away. But often enough, her judgement was sound, her words encouraging and kind. Even when he had been tough on her, making sure she would be prepared for the challenges of a patrol officer, she had not given up or backed away. On that first day in roll call - what felt like a lifetime ago - as her eager gaze met his scowl, he never would have believed Lucy Chen would become this important to him.
No sound now came from the recording, even though it was still running. Lucy had probably left the room. He stopped the recording. It was very quiet in the house, Kojo lying half asleep near his feet. Tim wondered what Lucy was doing right now, if she was singing to herself to get through the waiting. Or had she already made contact with Salonga's people? He prayed she would use everything he and Harper had trained her for, and not take any chances. But he also knew she had fire inside of her. She would not quit. He realized that he needed Harper's ear if he was to keep Lucy safe.
He sighed, realizing his mind and body desperately needed some sleep. With the impending wedding ceremony he felt like he ran double shifts every day. He glanced at the little recorder still in his hand, wanting to hear her sing one more time.
When the hour would come when they would meet again (for he would see her again, he vowed), he would tell her about the late night serenade she'd given him. He wanted to see Lucy's eyes light up and her smile brighten. And if he played it right, give her a pretty blush on her cheeks. Tim Bradford wasn't one for doling out compliments, but he'd happily make an exception for his former rookie. The best rookie he ever trained.
~×~
"On my own" lyrics - Les Miserables
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us
I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers
I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known
I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own
*Songwriters: Herbert Kretzmer / Jean Marc Natel / Claude Michel Schonberg / Alain Albert Boublil / John Caird / Trevor Robert Nunn*