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Jigen has had it bad for the samurai ever since the first time they dueled. He’s got a bad habit of it. The crush of a stronger man’s body against his, catching a glint of mutual admiration in each other’s eyes in the heat of battle - it gets his blood pumping in a way that’s gotten him into enough ill-advised hook-ups which end too often with a duel to the death. Since he met Lupin, though, he’d thought he’d put that sort of thing behind him.
But it’s different with Goemon. The second he challenges him to a duel, he sees it in the samurai’s “fuck around and find out” smile. Goemon’s not a gleeful killer, like too many of Jigen’s exes. He’s a genius with his weapon, but the kind who sets his sights on something higher. The next time they meet, even when Goemon tries to kill both him and Lupin, he recognizes the samurai’s look - not the look of a hardened killer, but the look of a man in bad situation, a craftsman turned into a killer when he’s backed into a corner.
Jigen knows that his partner sees it too. When Lupin impulsively makes the decision to recruit Goemon to their crew, it isn’t even a decision they need to talk about. Jigen recognizes too much of his younger self in Goemon. He’s only a little bit jealous as he watches his partner work the same magic on Goemon, insisting that his would-be assassin is his best friend until it becomes true. But mostly, he’s just glad to see the samurai thriving in this new environment, delightedly jumping to all of Lupin’s madcap ideas for non-deadly to put his skill the with blade to use in heists. And, Jigen's glad to have someone else around the hideout who he can really spar with, and who appreciates a little peace and quiet.
It doesn’t take long after that for the two of them to start sleeping together. When Goemon invites him to train together (wearing nothing above the waist), it’s not a hard choice to say yes. And one afternoon, in the middle of a sparring bout, when they’ve both worked up a sweat, and Goemon’s got him pinned against the wall with with the flat of his sword, Jigen grins out a half-joking line about “you wanna continue this in the bedroom?” and is caught a little off guard when the samurai silently nods. After that, it becomes a regular occurrence. Always in private. It’s not exactly like Jigen in trying to hide this from Lupin – their relationship isn’t strictly closed and they both have their own share of hookups. But Jigen just doesn’t know how to talk to Lupin about this one.
At first, Jigen tells himself, it’s just sex. But the night after they pull off their first big job together, Jigen really knows he’s got it bad. As they dash away from the bank vault, leaping over rooftops, enormous sacks of cash slung over their backs, laughing the whole way, he sees the momentary lapse in the samurai’s usual stoic facade. He’s laughing and laughing the whole way, giddy with the rush of adrenaline, glowing with the thrill of realizing that he is so much more than a hired killer, that there is this entire other way to use his skills which is so freeing and full of joy. They’re barely back to the getaway car when Goemon lifts Jigen in the air, spinning him around with a little whoop. Jigen knows exactly how he feels. He barely even registers it when Lupin gives him a little squeeze goodbye before heading out for the night in Fujiko’s helicopter, and barely even remembers to be mad that she’s probably going to make a getway with all the treasure before morning. As soon as he and Goemon are back at the hideout, they’re tumbling into bed, and Jigen is kissing him all over, and he realizes, with a twinge of guilt, that this- this is how it was when he first met Lupin. And then he realizes just quite how hard he’s fallen for this samurai.
Later, when they’re lying in bed together, and Jigen’s finishing up a cigarette, Goemon draws a finger along his chest and asks him “Is your partner alright with this?” The first time Goemon had come back to the hideout in the back of the Fiat, he’d given a bit of a puzzled look to Lupin’s arm around the back of Jigen’s seat and the way they traded puffs of a single cigarette as Lupin drove. But he’d been understanding, after his first few puzzled questions, that this was just the sort of relationship that Lupin and Jigen had. “Tch,” Jigen shrugs. “He’s fine with it. We’ve got an arrangement.” They wasn't strictly true, in the sense that they’d never really talked about it, if they were open to...swinging, or whatever you’d call it. But Lupin still slept around with dozens of other women and men he picked up god knows where (and Fujiko, when he got really, really lucky,) and Jigen never raised any trouble about it. And he had...whatever you'd call the thing he had doing on with Zenigata, which Jigen just didn't have time to unpack right now. And on the rare occasion that Jigen had a one-night-stand with another man, Lupin didn't seem to mind much either.
Except, Jigen doesn’t say, this isn’t just sex. Except he’s seriously starting to care a dangerous amount about Goemon. Falling asleep that night, lying on his back with Goemon’s arms thrown around his waist, he lies awake for hours, feeling terribly, terribly guilty. He feels like a slimy, low-down thing – like his feelings have betrayed him, and worse, betrayed his partner. When Goemon gently nuzzles him awake at dawn, just as the first rays of sun peek through the window, he’s barely gotten any sleep at all. He brushes off the samurai’s invitation to join him for an early morning mediation, and resolves that he owes it to Lupin to talk to him about this.
The sick feeling follows him around all morning. As he smokes his breakfast, it’s impossible to shake the feeling that Lupin must already know that he’s a cheater, a scummy partner who couldn’t be trusted to stay true to anyone. The unbolting of the hideout door when Lupin returns home, mid-afternoon, rattles him like a bullet. It’s only years of experience with Lupin, teaching his kicked-dog nerves how to trust, that makes him not take it as a deliberate twist of the knife when Lupin drifts through the kitchen and asks where Goemon is – “aren’t you two usually sparring this time of day?” He knows he doesn’t deserve the kiss on the forehead that Lupin gives him before he stalks off to his room. He sits paralyzed at the kitchen table, until he’s down to the last cigarette in the pack.
No sense in dragging this out this anymore. Jigen gets up and raps lightly on the door of Lupin’s room. When he hears the quiet “come in” from inside, he takes a step inside, and closes the door behind him. The low-down, slimy feeling rising up in his stomach again. “Hey, uh, Lupin, we gotta talk about something.”
Lupin is sitting patiently on the corner of his bed. “Sure. What’s up?”
Shit. Lupin is going to hate him for this. He’d expect this sort of thing from Fujiko, but never from Jigen. He can barely bring himself to break Lupin’s trust in him like this. But when Lupin trusts him so much, it just wouldn’t be right not to tell him. So he starts off “Well, uh, me n’ the new samurai guy we picked up have been banging. For the past week. And I think I’m falling for him.”
Jigen can all too vividly imagine what Lupin’s face looks like when he knows he’s been betrayed. As he lets the words out, he hides his eyes under his hat, trying to prepare himself for it. He doesn’t know if it’ll be worse if he looks up and sees the resigned look of pretend surprise he makes when Fujiko predictably sells them out, or the genuine angry shock when it catches him off guard. But when he finally wills himself to look up, Lupin isn’t making either face. Instead, he’s smiling, eyes wide with amazement as he exclaims “WHAT??”
Jigen shuffles his feet awkwardly. He doesn’t know what game Lupin’s playing here. Whatever it is, he probably deserves it. So he confesses again “Yeah.”
Lupin grins ear to ear. “Jigen! You absolute fox!! I’m supposed to be the suave one!!”
It’s Jigen’s nature to always be waiting for the blow. Everything in his past as a hitman tells him that it would be hopelessly naive to expect forgiveness in a situation like this. But something in Lupin’s smile makes Jigen just willing to believe that his enthusiasm is actually genuine. “Wait, so...you’re okay with this?”
“Well,” Lupin huffs, turning his head to face the wall in a bit of a mock pout, “I am a little bit annoyed that you beat me to it. All of my passes have just bounced right off of him. But,” he turns to face Jigen, catching his disbelieving stare with warm, smiling eyes, “mostly I’m just impressed!”
“Stop joking around,” Jigen demands. “Are you saying this is really okay with you?”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t it be. I’ve got Fujiko, don’t I?”
“That’s different.” Jigen chomps down on the last cigarette. “You don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with Fujiko.” And it’s different because as unreliable as Fujiko is, her betrayals are like clockwork. As much of a shmuck as Lupin is for Fujiko, Jigen can rest easy that the two of them will never really become partners, not the way Lupin and Jigen are. As much as he hates to see Lupin get played like a cheap kazoo again and again, it’s almost reassuring, to know that the special trust that he has with Lupin is something that Fujiko will never threaten. But Goemon’s not like her. It feels like a betrayal, how much Jigen trusts him.
“It’s exactly the same,” Lupin insists. “And I see other babes all the time, and I don’t mind if you sleep with other men. It’s as simple as that.”
Jigen doesn’t understand how Lupin can be so breezy about this. “It’s not as simple as that,” he objects. “None of that stuff is serious. This is.”
Lupin shurgs, making like this conversation bores him. “Well, it’s no problem for me.”
“Well, it is a problem for me,” Jigen bites out, a little frustrated with Lupin's incomprehensible evasions. “I know you think it’s okay to just do things without thinking, but I think we need to talk about things like this. I mean, really talk about them.”
Lupin pulls a long face. Jigen knows from experience that Lupin thinks that having “relationship conversations” is about the dorkiest thing imaginable. If there are two things his partner hates, it’s talking about feelings, and making plans before he acts. The first time Jigen tried to sit him down, a few months after they’d met, to ask him to put a name on the thing they were doing, he accused Jigen of wanting to hold hands and sing kumbayas. But that’s too bad, because Jigen didn’t just muster all the courage to confess to betraying his partner to not get flagellated for it. He needs Lupin to open up and admit how much this hurts him. He needs to understand how Lupin can be acting like it doesn’t. He sits down on the edge of the bed. Lupin curls up, cross-legged, and turns around to face him, gently taking one of Jigen’s hands in both of his own. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
“I want to talk about Goemon. I want you to know that” – God, this is still hard to say – “I’m actually catching feelings for him.”
“I know. I heard, and I think that’s great!” Lupin presses a little kiss to the corner of Jigen’s mouth.
“I don’t get how you aren’t mad.”
“Jigen!” Lupin ducks and weaves around Jigen until he’s actual looking into his eyes. “Why would I be mad?”
Jigen pulls his hat down lower, burying his gaze in the floor. “Because you’re my partner. What if, if I, y’know, start thinking of him as my new partner? You aren’t worried that I’m going to end up, I dunno, betraying you for him?”
“Why?” Lupin cocks his head, amused. “Are you two planning on stabbing me in the back and running away with our haul from the last job? Because, if you are, it’s very nice of you to give me the advance notice.”
“Of course not!!” Jigen spits out his cigarette. “I’d never do that!”
“Then I don’t get what I’m supposed to be worried about.” He traces his fingers over the back of Jigen’s hand. “Jigen, you’re the most reliable guy I know. You’re probably the only actually trustworthy guy in our entire line of work. I never worry about you in that way.”
“But I cheated on you!”
“You didn’t. I said I’m okay with it.” And then he adds, probably because Jigen’s still giving him a skeptical look, “I don’t own you, Jigen. And even if I did, since when have I ever cared when someone’s said they own something? We’re thieves, Jigen. We know there’s no point in trying to lock something up and pretend you can keep it all for yourself.”
This strikes Jigen as a crazy way to think about romance, but it does seem consistent with Lupin’s general attitude towards other people’s women. Still, he just can’t believe that Lupin doesn’t mind at all. “Are you saying that you don’t feel at all jealous? Lupin, I just told you I might be falling for someone else!”
“Sure. I’m just glad to see the two of you are getting along so well. Maybe you can wingman for me now, hmm?” Lupin drapes himself over Jigen’s shoulders, leering. Jigen elbows him in the ribs. “But really, Jigen. I’m just happy that you’re happy. I mean, surprised that a weird scruffy looking guy like you is getting some with our pretty-boy samurai friend,” he scruffs his hand through Jigen’s hair affectionately. “But happy!!”
This feeling is incomprehensible to Jigen. “I don’t get that,” he argues, “I do get jealous. When you all heart-eyes for Fujiko, or some random broad.”
“You think?” says Lupin, putting his arms around Jigen’s shoulders. “You make it pretty damn obvious. But,” he says, suddenly serious, “What I’ve got with them is different than what I’ve got with you. Me ‘n Fujiko, we’ve got what we got – we flirt, she gives me blue balls and stabs me in the back, I trick her, she runs me over with a truck and makes off with the treasure. And that’s how I like it with her! But that’s never going to change the fact that you and me are partners. You’re the one I can always count on to have my back, or be there to keep me company in the passengers seat when everyone else bails out from the job.”
This is true, Jigen realizes. It’s just a different sort of thing. It’s the same with Goemon too. Not that he can understand how Lupin can actually enjoy a relationship where all he ever gets is stabbed in the back, but the way Jigen feels about Goemon...it’s something different from how he feels about Lupin. Less a manic whirlwind, and more a comfortable sense of recognition. Never once has it changed the way he feels about Lupin, or his love for this way of life Lupin introduced him to. If anything, it’s just made it something he wants to share with Goemon.
“I guess,” Jigen processes out loud. “I never worry you’re going to leave me for them. But I wish you’d talk to me about it, when you’re going to run off with some floozy.”
“Aww, Jigen!” Lupin gives Jigen a little squeeze. “But yeah, I can do that.”
“But what about Goemon?” Jigen asks, the pit of his stomach dropping as he brings the conversation back around. “What if...what if I start thinking of him as my...partner?”
“Then I’ll just be happy that we’ve got that kind of trust in our crew. I’ll rest easy,” Lupin says, tipping up Jigen’s chin, catching his eyes under his hat, “knowing that the two of you will have each other’s backs.”
Damn, that’s how this man always gets him. The way Lupin trusts just makes Jigen totally willing to trust himself too, to believe that he can be someone worthy of that trust.
“Sure...” says Jigen, almost willing to actually accept this. It's a new idea to him - but then again, when has anything about his relationship with Lupin been normal? “I dunno. It just feels wrong to say I’ve got real feelings like this for two people. Like I’ve gotta be not doing right by one of you?”
“For an internationally wanted gay gunman, you sure can be old fashioned,” says Lupin, wrapping his arms tightly around Jigen, and tugging him backwards so they’re lying together on the bed. “But we’re criminals, Jigen. There’s no rules for us, we can do what we want. And I believe that you’ve got enough love in your heart to protect the both of us, so I say, go for it.”
“Woah woah woah!” grumbles Jigen, “who said I was falling in love with this guy?”
Lupin kisses him. “Everything about you says you are. And you should be. I think he’s good for you.”