Chapter Text
As he laid there in the DXS infirmary still heavily sedated, the moment seemed to playback in front of him in an endless loop. He had the virus and he was willing to give it up. He wasn't about to let this guy shoot Nikki. Then came the gunshot, her body falling, then the searing pain in his chest as the slug bored through skin and muscle, exiting through his back. He barely made out the form of the nurse coming to check on him and adjust his IV. His eyes closed as tears started to roll down his cheek as he mouthed the words “Nikki no!”.
Jack was sitting in a chair opposite his bed when he finally woke again. The light coming through the window was a lot brighter than the last time he had been conscious so he must have been out for some time. He found it difficult to adjust himself up in the bed and let out a low groan when a searing pain shot through his right shoulder.
Jack rushed over to his side to help him. “Easy there brother I got you,” Jack said as he eased him up as gently as he could without causing him any more discomfort. The look on Jack’s face told him almost everything he needed to know, that the op didn't just go sideways, it was completely FUBAR.
“How long have I been out?” Mac manages to say, his voice still hoarse and his throat very dry.
Jack sees him struggling, so he pours and hands him a small cup of water. “You’ve been out for about two days, partner. Your one lucky SOB, the doc said a few inches to the left and we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.”
Mac leans back and closes his eyes as the scene plays out and he’s hit with a fresh wave of pain that wracks his body from head to toe.
When he finally opens his eyes, Jack can see in them the question he wants to ask the most. He spares Mac the pain of having to ask. “We pulled both of you out but we couldn't save Nikki. She was already dead before EMS got there. The CIA claimed her body once we got stateside; they took care of notifying her family.”
Tears were now freely flowing down Mac’s face. He had become eerily accustomed to losing those he loved which is why he didn't let many people in. But he felt Nikki was different; he counted his lucky stars when they started dating. Here was this brilliant, beautiful woman that adored him in every way and now she was gone.
He looked up at Jack with blurred vision. “And the virus? Any leads on who did this?”
Jack put a hand on his best friend's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “Mac believe when I say Patty is moving heaven and earth to find the guys who did this. Let us handle it, you rest and recoup so we can get you back in the field. Best believe when we find ‘em we’ll dole out some good ole Texas justice.”
Mac wasn't the vengeful type but losing his mother at a young age, then having his dad leave him shortly after had left a gaping hole at his core. One that in time, he felt that Nikki would be able to fill and now someone took her from him.
“If it's the last thing I do, Jack, whoever is responsible will feel my pain.”
As he feels himself drifting back into darkness, Mac braces for another wave of pain. In anticipation, he squeezes the button to release a dose of morphine into his IV line.
Jack’s phone rings and he checks the notification. “It's Patty, maybe she has some news. Take care brother, I'll check in on you tomorrow.” Jack gives him a quick hug and leaves.
The pain in his shoulder pales in comparison to the pain in his heart. He leans back and presses the button on his pain pump, infusing another dose of morphine into his line knowing it will lock him out if he hits it one more time but not caring; anything to dull the pain, to stop seeing her leave him over and over again. As it hits him and he begins to fade, he sees her standing there. A gunshot rings out, she falls, and he silently mouths “Nikki no!” before completely losing consciousness.
Location: Mac’s House, LA
Timeframe: 3 Weeks Later
True to his word, Jack had been back to visit Mac in the hospital almost every day to check on him. It was Jack that had let Bozer know that he was in the hospital. DXS had created a cover story that Mac and Nikki had been in a car accident while on a business trip and she didn’t make it.
Bozer was home when Jack brought Mac to the house they shared. Bozer’s family had adopted Mac when his dad left and grandpa had to frequently be out of town. So they grew up more like brothers than friends and it killed him that this was another thing he would have to lie to him about, but that was what came with the job.
Bozer rushed over to him as Jacked helped Mac inside after he opened the front door. “Man you're a sight for sore eyes, don't scare me like that!!” He hugged his brother and then took a step back to take a look at him.
Mac was glad for his brother's concern and also for the fact that he didn't push for any details. Bozer knew that if, and when Mac was ready to open about what happened he would be the first person he sought out. “It’s good to be a home man,” he said as he tried to flash Bozer his most reassuring smile. But Bozer could see that something was off.
The days and nights seemed to blend into each other; he was still not sleeping. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her, heard the gunshot, and saw her body fall. Then he woke up screaming her name. At first, he had his prescriptions to mitigate the pain he was feeling but he had run out from heavy use after only being home for two weeks. Patty had given him time to recover and grieve Nikki but he spent the time trying to piece together how the op had gone so wrong. They were all but clear when they got ambushed.
How the fuck did they know where she was? Did they intercept our comms? Did we have a mole in DXS? he thought to himself as he downed his last fifty mg of Morphine and chased it with a swig of his beer.
He stumbled into his room from the kitchen when he realized they were out of beer and as he sat on his bed he saw his reflection in the full-length mirror that hung from his bathroom door. He was a shadow of himself; losing Nikki had opened that hole inside him and he knew if he was going to get the answers he needed he would need to get himself together. He marched into the bathroom to sober himself up. He stripped down to nothing and turned on the cold water as he stepped into less tense battles felt like hot knives cutting into every muscle fiber but the pain was good, the fog he had been under since Nikki died was starting to lift and there was one thing he knew for sure. Whenever he caught up to Nikki’s killer there would be hell to pay.