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Rey was used to death.
The job required it.
She supposed death and loneliness went hand in hand. Her parents were dead to her. That numbing feeling brought upon by having no one and no family ebbed away when she met Han, then Ben.
Ben gave her something so profound, so full of life, that Rey didn’t carry that numb feeling anymore, that mourning of what could have been. The job of Secretary was hard and she played with people’s lives on a chessboard, but all she wanted was to save, preserve.
So times like this, it was a big sobering thought. Death proceeded life, no matter what. The life Ben gave her, the life Rey fought so hard to keep safe, was fragile. Temporary.
Ben nearly dropped his phone, the news on TV dulled to both their ears.
“What’s wrong?” Rey asked.
Ben’s eyes never betrayed anything. He was an open book Rey loved to read. Glassed over, half-open, sullen. Rarely did he get like this. Ever.
“My grandfather h-he’s gone,” he said, his voice hoarse.
Rey’s heart shattered for Ben. For everyone in his family. “Oh, Ben.” She embraced him, knowing he needed her right now. He pulled her closer, holding her tight, and she felt his warm tears down her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
Ben didn’t say anything for a moment. He was trying, trying so hard to contain his emotions, they ran so deep in him, amplified by a thousand. Then the dam broke. “I don’t… He… My grandma… I…”
“It’s okay, Ben. I’m here for you,” Rey whispered. He cried, and she cried with him.
Hope and Kacie were saddened when Rey told them. Over breakfast.
“How’s Dad?” Hope asked.
Rey swallowed. Ben cried all night, falling asleep at last in the wee hours in the morning. She slipped out of bed at dawn to greet their daughters and tell them they would not be going to school for the rest of the week.
“He’s… He’s taking it hard. He loved his grandfather very much. If he seems like he might need more love than usual, that would be why.”
Kacie got up and sat next to Rey, leaning on her shoulder. “I don’t like when Daddy is sad.”
Rey brushed her fingers through Kacie’s hair. “Neither do I, sweetie.”
Ben was a wreck, sitting next to her in the motorcade, on their way to the Skywalker Estate in Upper Chandrila. His eyes, no longer full of the defiance and sweetness he carried on his person, but distant and hollow.
Rey had met Anakin Skywalker a few times in her life. She knew that Ben inherited a lot from Han, but he also inherited a lot from Anakin as well, with how he loved so passionately, how he was disarming in his innocence at times. And of course, the mischief, the temper. Ben was an heir to it all.
It was interesting and so foreign to Rey to know where one got certain things from. Did she have her own traits from her grandparents? Her own parents? It was pointless to ponder ghosts that were dead since she was four, with no memory of it all. Rey was perhaps a product of nature, Ben was a product of nurture.
Without even looking at her, Ben took her hand, squeezing, reassuring himself she was still there. She could tell, the small swallows of his throat, that he was trying to hold it together.
When they arrived, Rey saw the motorcades of Leia’s own escort. Their security teams would be merging together, for the time being, casing the whole, massive estate.
Rey had to tug on Ben’s hand to get him to snap back to reality.
He moved without a word, moving to grab their bags and walk right through the front door. Hope and Kacie hopped out of their SUV, their own suitcases in tow.
Rey was on the front steps, feeling once again like just an out-of-place orphan looking in through a window to the Skywalkers. Hope was at her left, Kacie at her right, and the two girls walked in like they belonged there. Because they did. They were Skywalkers.
And Rey was from Niima, given a name based on a lowly town in Jakku.
“You coming Mom?” Hope said.
“Yeah, I’ll be a moment.”
She took out her phone, not caring if she shouldn’t be working, but she peeked at her emails anyways. Minor things. Treaty signing. Some sort of update on the coalition from months ago. Menial things that Armitage and the rest of her team could handle.
It was pitiful, really.
She didn’t notice heavy footsteps down the steps until a warm hand graced her shoulder and she nearly dropped her phone.
It was Ben, looking at her, knowing her so, so well.
He kissed her forehead. “They’re waiting for you.” And he slipped his hand over her phone, pulling it out of her grasp, and tugged her along.
Everyone was gathered in the living room. Leia was with Han, wearing grief well. Luke was slouched on the couch, perhaps looking worse than Ben did. And in the big recliner, that Rey recognized was Anakin’s preferred spot, was Padme Amidala, looking regal, if lowered by her sadness.
“Oh you’re here,” Padme said, smiling at Rey.
Ben guided Rey to sit on the extended couch, where Hope and Kacie were conveniently on separate ends. Kacie immediately cuddled up to Ben, and he held her close with one arm. Hope didn’t seek out Rey’s touch, but she moved over anyway.
“How did it happen?” Ben asked, his voice still rough.
Padme spoke first, and Rey wondered how she could. “He was unresponsive when I woke up. He went in his sleep, full of peace. They predicted it was a stroke.”
“Quick and painless,” Luke said. “It might’ve also been a complication caused by the wound he got from the war.”
“Great-grandpa Anakin was in a war?” Hope asked.
“Yes dear, he was,” Leia said. “He got a wound that was always precarious and it just one day might not ever fully heal.”
“He liked talking about the early days before the war, the first few years,” Padme continued. “Then the more it went on, the less he was willing to talk about.”
Han sighed. “War ain’t pretty kiddo. It’s why your mom’s job is so important.”
Rey blushed.
“How are you doing, Ben?” Padme asked.
Ben blinked away the glass threatening to shatter. “I’m… Fine. I have Rey and Hope and Kace.”
“Ah yes, the Solo Girls, a force to be reckoned with,” Padme said with a small grin. “The world better brace themselves.”
“I’m just lucky to have them,” Ben mumbled.
The funeral was only a couple days later.
Padme asked both Luke and Ben to speak.
Rey never thought she would see Ben so… Despondent. Each day he was improving, eating more and more. Smiling a little bit at the stories Luke, Leia, Han, and Padme exchanged and shared with Hope and Kacie, who were eager. Ben would just sit there, at least one of his girls leaning on him. Sometimes to distract himself he would braid their hair.
It was when he was doing Kacie’s the morning of the funeral, that he finally opened up more. Hope was lazying on the bed. Rey was finishing up putting on minimal makeup on her face.
“Your great-grandfather Anakin,” Ben began, parting Kacie’s hair for a french braid. “Took me out one day for ice cream. Grandma Leia and Grandpa Han were arguing over me, again. The press got word of me acting up in school and it was a minor scandal in the papers. I had punched a kid in the nose for slandering my mom for the job she had. He did me the biggest favor, getting me out of the house and telling me that my anger wasn’t an issue, and neither was I the problem. The problem would be at times…” Ben weaved Kacie’s dark brown hair, lock by lock. “That the world would have certain expectations of me. And your family would add to those expectations. And he told me that even if I never went as high as the Senate or the Presidency, that he would never expect anything except for me to be happy with the life I wanted.”
“What life is that?”
“Well Kace, it’s… Getting to wake up to a wife I love. Being able to sit down for breakfast with my daughters. Going home from a stressful day to people who want me around and aren’t yelling about art politics. People who make me happy.”
“Do we make you happy, Daddy?”
Ben tied the braid and kissed his daughter’s hair. “Yes. You do. More than you think.”
The speech at the funeral reduced Rey to shed a tear here and there.
Ben stood at the podium like he was at an art lecture.
"Anakin Skywalker was someone I was frequently compared to," Ben began. "One would think that would be a bad thing, that people only saw Anakin when they looked at me. Truth is, it was a compliment. And in a way, even after all these years, I'm still a lot like Anakin. Because all he really wanted was to do what he loved and have a family of his own. He got Padmé Amidala. Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa. And the family only grew with the addition of my father, Han Solo. And then me, Ben Solo. And now," he looked over at Rey, with their daughters on both sides of her in the pew. "The family Anakin created got even bigger. My wife, Rey Solo. And my two daughters, Hope and Kacie Solo. You wouldn't believe how excited Anakin was when I announced I was engaged to Rey. Or when she was pregnant. Because he always liked a new addition to our family, regardless of blood. He said a big family meant more love to go around, even if we drove each other crazy." Ben choked up on those last few words. "As we mourn, he would want us to share the love. Because even in death, it transcends. And Anakin wanted love, more than anything. And I am proud to be compared to someone who wanted that."
With that, Ben stepped off the podium and returned to his pew. He took Rey's hand once more, and she felt a little bit more like a Skywalker. But she was fine being a Solo. Because it was the name Ben gave her. It was a symbol of his love that would transcend after death.
Reality hit her two weeks later.
She just sat there on the bed, lost in her thoughts from the funeral and the week at the Skywalker Estate. Ben seemed to fade back into his old self, though he still needed frequent hugs from his daughters.
The reality that one day, she would be like Padmé. Older, watching her children grow up and leave the nest. Witness to her husband's funeral.
She broke down into hysterics. Weeping. Death would come, and she would be numb once more, the love of her life gone. One day his touch wouldn't be there anymore. And that was a thought that broke her.
"Rey?" Ben walked out of the shower and noticed her sobbing. He rushed over to her, grasping her shoulders. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"One day Ben," she said, trying not to hiccup. "One day you'll be gone. And I don't know how I will go on. You've given me so much. You gave me a family, Ben. I had nothing before. I was nothing before you came into my life and gave me all of you and just…" She gasped for air. "I love you so much. But I can't handle death like this. I can't—"
"Oh Rey," he picked her up into his arms, pulling her close as he stroked her hair. "You're so strong. I panicked last week when I was told. I feared one day I would wake up and you would be gone. But I have this feeling it won't be like that. Wherever you go, I will follow."
Her crying ceased, but she couldn't stop the lump in her throat. "Because love transcends, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah. And, we are a team. Inseparable. Nothing, not even death, can keep me from you. I love you, Rey. Even from beyond."
Rey leaned up and kissed him, finally at peace. "I love you too."