Archive of Our Own

[fall semester.]

izuku looked at the rink, shivering just a bit. he scoffs to himself in his head. you'd think he'd be used to the cold, but he's not. he never will be. the rink looks so close, yet so far away. he's standing in his outfit (the outfit his mother painstakingly tailored for him) and sighs. this was it. he didn't come all this way for nothing. he would skate this routine perfectly, and he'd get a partner for pair skating. they'd kill it, and make it to nationals. he could see his breath as he exhaled. 

"can we get the next kid out here?" someone says, and izuku's mother is pushing him softly on his shoulder. he's not tall, but he's outgrown his mother by a good few inches. she smiles at him warmly, and he remembers why he's even here in the first place. he has a dream to pursue, and with that dream comes money, comes a way to support the woman who's always supported him.

izuku skates his way on the ice and pauses, feet pivoted out beautifully.

"and your name, son?" a skinny man asks. he looks sort of sickly, but izuku knows who this is. yagi toshinori, the most famous figure skater in Japan. izuku gives his mega-watt smile and clears his throat.

"izuku midoriya, sir." two men are beside yagi, but izuku doesn't know who they are. (or if he does, he's too distracted by the small smile yagi's giving him to remember.)

"well, young midoriya. give us your best." izuku nods and assumes his pose. izuku could have chosen a pop song, edm, hell, anything to skate to. but he liked going to his roots, the music his mother would play around the house to soothe him when he cried. the music she played before they both went to bed for the night after a hard day.

a chopin song starts playing through the speakers. izuku doesn't have to think anymore. he's practiced this routine more times than he can count. his body moves on it's own, skating and spinning around the ice. the music is telling a story, his skating is just aiding that tale. izuku begins to pick up his speed. he needs it for the trick he's about to pull. he jumps and twists, pulling a double axel off nicely. 

the other blonde man to the right of yagi gasps. izuku smiles as he circles around and stops, posing right where he stood. the music stops, and all that can be heard is izuku's labored breathing. the black haired-man claps softly while the man on the right stands up, clapping loudly. yagi smiles more with his teeth and he stands up as well. izuku comes out of the pose and stands, waiting to hear what they have to say.

"there is no deliberation to be had, young midoriya. you're coming to UA." izuku would scream, but he doesn't. he just profusely thanks the men and skates off the ice.

he does scream with his mother in the safety of their car later.

+

UA University. he had dreamed of going to this college ever since he was a child. yagi himself had went to this university...well the one in Japan, anyways. here he was, standing in front of his dorm room, bags by his sides. (when he was previously going to community college, he stayed at home, skating at a public rink whenever he could.) he had already said his goodbyes to his mother. now he was alone. he opens the door and sees the two beds. his roommate wasn't here yet, so he had first pick. he chooses the left side of the room. getting to work, he begins unpacking. he turns on some simple music and is halfway into folding clothes to go into his bedside dresser when his door is opened rather forcefully.

"i told you, old hag! we had enough money for me to get my own room!" izuku hears the sound of skin hitting skin, and a few more curses. these people haven't even come into the room yet.

"shut it, stupid! you're gonna get the whole experience of this college shit! i'm makin' sure of it. also, you need to learn how to function with others in your space. this is the way to go. and if you raise hell on your roommate, i'll raise hell on you!" izuku hears some grumbles and the door opens fully. he has headphones in his ears. he can pretend like he didn't hear that shit. he burrows himself a bit deeper in his closet, and tries to reach for the top shelf. he's too short to reach the top (not grossly so, but it's still annoying) so he gives up.

when he turns around, he's faced with one of the most beautiful faces he's ever seen. spiky blonde hair that looks razor sharp to the touch. crimson eyes, the color of oxidized blood. this dude, this man has a strong build. a tapered waist, yes, but his legs...his arms. whoever would be his partner would be lucky. he can do the heavy lifting. izuku briefly thinks he'd be a good pair skating partner based on physique alone. "you my roommate?" the man asks. izuku nods his head.

"yeah. i'm izuku." izuku holds out his hand hesitantly. it's kind of getting dwarfed in the sweater he has on (a comfort sweater he calls it. has had it since he was fifteen), but his hand peeks out of it. the man takes his hand for a second, his grip strong. 

"katsuki...and that's where the conversation ends. i don't really want a roommate, so i won't even be here half the time. when i am here, i want peace and quiet, alright?" izuku just looks at katsuki. he has a smart remark on the tip of his tongue, but it just won't come out. katsuki's eyes are so warm–looking.

"hey, deku, did you hear me?" katsuki says, snapping in his face twice. izuku blinks and frowns a bit.

"i heard what you said. quite frankly i think it's bullshit, but whatever." izuku opts to ignore katsuki after that, going back to unpacking the rest of his things. he can feel rather than see katsuki steaming from his response. good, it's what the proud bastard deserves.

+

"your freckles are so cute, izuku!" a girl with a brown bob tells him. he smiles at her. she's pretty...she might be the prettiest girl he's ever seen. she introduces herself as ochako. she comes from a poor town, and says it was by the grace of god she was able to come to UA. she's on scholarship just like he is. they just click, he realizes. when he talks to her (and it hasn't even been that long, mind you) it's as though they've known each other for years. 

"thanks. your cheeks are cute." ochako gives him a smirk.

"which cheeks?" she asks, eyebrow raising. her hands give her butt a few pats, and they both dissolve into laughter. 

"so, how do you like UA?" izuku's only been here for two days. move-in day was on a friday, so the college was giving them two days of rest before they went full throttle into lessons. 

"it's a nice school...nicer than anything i've seen before. but my roommate is a total asshole." ochako gasps while clapping your hands together.

"aren't you rooming with katsuki bakugou?" she asks. he gives her a weird look but just nods. 

"you make it sound like it's a death sentence." one of ochako's friends, iida, comes to sit by them.

"that's because it kind of is." ochako tells him. "katsuki's only twenty-one and he's gone through three pair partners. he's horrible to work with. all of them, boy or girl, end up leaving him." iida shakes his head.

"oh, ochako, don't scare the boy! yes, bakugou's known to be a hothead, but he's an amazing skater." 

"he's an amazing soloist. and you're his partner." izuku blinks for a few seconds.

"i–i'm his partner? how do you know that?" 

"it's by who you're roomed with. he'll be your partner for this year, anyways. if you haven't ran screaming for the hills he might be your partner again. but i do know you have him for one year." izuku was quiet after that, sipping on a cup of coffee. aizawa (who izuku later learned was the black haired man sitting next to yagi) would be upset at him drinking this, but he was stressed.

no wonder katsuki got stares full of wonder and fear. he was good. scarily good. on izuku's first day of being at UA, he wanted to skate on the ice himself. he figured if he went late at night, nobody would be out. but he was wrong. katsuki was out there, skating his ass off. he was amazing. his movements were powerful and purposeful. he knew what he wanted on the ice, and he made it happen. 

izuku wanted that in a partner, but katsuki's horrible attitude was going to prove to be a challenge. he's never backed away from a challenge before, and he wouldn't start now. not when he's gotten this far.

+

"pair skating isn't just about looking good and being together. you and your partner need to be in sync. who you were paired with was no mistake: we based it on your audition pieces. you and your partner will work together for the entire year learning how to be two haves of a whole. when you pair skate, it is not just you. you are a part of something bigger: half of a whole." aizawa explains. izuku's standing next to bakugou who, he hates to even admit it, has a few inches on him. bakugou's in a green button up with a black thermal shirt underneath. basic black training pants are on his legs, and he has on black skates. 

izuku was not rich by any means, so he has on a white thermal shirt, some cheap training pants, and basic white skates. black gloves are on his hands, and a necklace with a carved bunny sits around his neck. it was a gift his mother gave him years ago, and he considers it somewhat lucky. he wasn't going to leave it behind, not today. (and probably not for the duration of his stay at UA.)

"today, before you all run along to your classes, we're going to work for a few hours on simple moves. the point of this is to not out-skate your partner. you both need to do it together." aizawa cuts his eyes to bakugou for a split second, and izuku gulps. 

"you will do basic skating around the rink, then you will go into an attitude, an arabesque, and finally a camel position where you'll pivot into a death spin. lastly, you'll cut it off in a pose. simple, no? but the trick is to be on time with your partner. if you or your partner try and out-skate each other, you will be required to do twenty laps around the ice." aizawa's eyes scan the entire room.

"i'm known for being strict and tough. i demand nothing but excellence. my classes are not solo skating, those are yamada's classes. i am the pair skating teacher for a reason. you need discipline for this. most of you have not done this with the exception of a few. it will be hard, but i will make sure you succeed. i can only do that if you are open and willing." aizawa gestures to the rink.

"now get out on the rink and do what i just said. it will not be perfect, but i want you all to try." izuku turns to bakugou, but bakugou ignores him and skates onto the ice by himself. izuku watches him as he goes and does a lap. a boy who's in a full-blown outfit (this was basic class, izuku was a little confused by it, but he remembers his name being aoyama) pouts at him.

"i feel so bad that you're paired with that brute. good luck." aoyama skates away before izuku can say anything. he's the last to come on the ice. bakugou looks at him, and cuts to a stop.

"you're not going to hold me back." izuku squares his shoulders and stares at bakugou. 

"i won't fail because of your horrid disposition. come on and let's do the routine." bakugou scowls.

"who are you to order me around like your opinion matters?"

"it isn't my opinion. we were told to do this by our instructor. think of it this way, oh great one. the sooner we work together and get this done, the sooner we're out of each other's hair." bakugou rubs his chin with his hand.

"fine." izuku and bakugou stand side by side with space apart from them. they begin skating around a part of the rink. the first move is an attitude, and they both curve their bodies and stick their feet out around the same time. bakugou's a little faster than him, but aizawa said it wouldn't be perfect. they skate around some more and move into the arabesque. izuku smiles. they're both somewhat in sync. izuku's taken dance classes, so he's able to get his leg a little higher in the air for is arabesque.

they come out of it and make their way into a death spin. these used to scare izuku, spinning so fast, but now he finds them fun. izuku's hands curve as he spins, and he dips down. katsuki is spinning up with his body more. they end with a pose: izuku bending towards the ground, and katsuki with his hands up, body elegantly curved. they both come out of it, izuku a soft smile on his face and bakugou not saying anything.

"that was amazing! for our first time, we worked pretty well together! what do you think?" 

"we need to add one more element to it. show aizawa we're not playing around." 

"we should just leave it as is. he didn't tell us to do anything more." bakugou puts his hands on his hips.

"how do you expect to get anywhere by doing the bare minimum? we have to show him and all these extras that i'm on the best team."

"you mean that we're the best team."

"that's what i said." izuku rolls his eyes. 

"let's just leave it be, katsuki." bakugou huffs and turns his body from izuku.

"you're just like all the others. never wanting to take a chance." katsuki skates away, and when they preform for aizawa, katsuki makes sure to tack on an extra move. izuku stays perfectly still, and aizawa shakes his head.

"still doing what you want, i see." he remarks. bakugou glides his skate across the ice and smirks.

"i'm the king of this shit, so yeah." aizawa rolls his eyes.

"you're docked ten points. izuku, you get them all." katsuki frowns.

"what does he get them all for!"

"because he listened to my instructions. i'm sick and tired of this bullshit, katsuki. everybody is. if you fuck up with him, you can say goodbye to ever getting a paring partner again. nobody wants to touch you with a ten–foot pole. you'll be a soloist, and you're good, but you're not Olympics good. not yet, anyways. and who's going to want to sponsor you?" everyone is silent as katsuki visibly shakes at aizawa's words. he stomps off the ice, and slams the door shut on his way out. 

izuku's on the ice by himself. he doesn't know how he's going to survive this. 

+

izuku's eating lunch by himself in his room when the door opens. katsuki's there, and he looks pissed off.

"why didn't you do the move with me?" he states more than asks. izuku shrugs his shoulders.

"i wanted to follow instructions. so i did." bakugou rolls his eyes.

"you're that guy. goody-two-shoes. people like you get eaten in this world. you need to toughen up and take a chance." izuku goes back to his sandwich looking over his biology notes. he was not taking advice from katsuki.

"now you're gonna act like you didn't hear me, nerd?"

"when you talk to me with some respect i might actually give a damn." katsuki jerks back as if he's been burned. 

"respect is earned, not given. and you ain't earned it yet." izuku shakes his head, taking off his glasses. he got used to wearing contacts because you can't wear glasses while figure skating, but sometimes he just wants nothing in his eyes. he hates how he's somewhat blind without help.

"the same could be said for you. you haven't earned it from me either, hot shot. you think i'm soft and i'm quiet but i'm a force to be reckoned with. whether you like it or not, we're partners. partners. they won't switch us out because they determined we would be good together, and if you pulled your head out your ass you'd see that. we were good on the ice today!"

"i won't be as good on the ice with anyone as...as someone who's not with me anymore." izuku furrows his eyes.

"what are you talking about?"

"nothing. it doesn't even matter. aizawa told me that we both have to do twenty laps around the ice later on today." izuku groans.

"why the hell do i have to do it with you?" 

"he said something about wanting us to be together as a team. he has something to talk to us about, some bullshit i'm guessing." izuku glares at katsuki as violently as he can manage.

"okay. now if you're done talking, i was studying." katsuki stares at him for a beat, then walks out, closing the door softly. when izuku's sure he's gone and not coming back, he ends up calling his mother. she answers on the first ring.

"oh hello, izuku!" izuku laughs a bit.

"hey mom."

"tell me, how are things?" 

"they're...going different than i expected, but i'm just glad to be here." 

"that's the spirit! i know it's hard right now, but it will get easier." izuku blanches.

"i never said anything about it being...hard." his mother, inko, giggles at him.

"izuku i'm your mother. i know things you don't." someone yells something on the other end of the line. izuku can't make out the words, but he knows the voice. it's his mother's boss. 

"it seems as if our call as to be cut short, sweetie. i love you." 

"love you too." the call hangs up after that, and izuku sets his phone down a little harsher than he would have liked. he hates his mother's boss, and he hates his mother's job. she works for a cleaning company, and to support her and izuku, she's worked more hours than she should have. ever since izuku was a baby, she's kept money away for his college fund. ice skating is expensive, and izuku's mother is in debt to her boss. he's loaned money out to his mother on more than one occasion, and as izuku got older, he mostly thinks he did that because he has a crush on inko.

izuku thinks matsuda is a bitter asshole, but he has to thank the man for what he's done for his mother and in turn him. he has to stay on the path he's taken. he has to get big, make money, and pay off all his mother's debts. bakugou katsuki would not get in the way of that. he might just kill the bastard before that happens. 

bakugou didn't tell him a time. he doesn't have the idiot's number, but he'll figure it out. 

+

"bakugou and izuku, you're a team. we all know katsuki's a pain, but this can be done." aizawa tells both men as they pant. twenty laps seems easy in theory, but skating and making sure you don't fall on your ass is harder than it seems. it also turned into a mini competition between the both of them, one bakugou won much to izuku's chagrin, so they skated faster than they should have.

"you need to set a base of understanding. stand in front of each other." aizawa says. both boys end up facing each other, izuku tilting his head up a bit to stare at bakugou's eyes. they're so red, izuku doesn't even think that should be natural. but for some reason, it fits him so well. 

"tell each other what you want out of this school. izuku, you go first." izku clears his throat.

"i want to make it to nationals. i want a sponsorship so that...i can do what i love and pay debts off in the process." aizawa nods.

"bakugou?"

"i want to be the best. i want the glory, the fame, the praise. i want to get as good as yagi was in his prime. then...i think i might teach kids or somethin'. i know i can't do this forever, but i'll damn sure try." aizawa smiles a bit at bakugou.

"you both have dreams. things you want, things you crave. so you both put in the work, the time, to make sure you came to the best school in the US. there's your base of understanding. both of you have things you want to achive. you will never, ever achieve them if you actively work against each other." aizawa again cuts his eyes to katsuki.

"katsuki, you have to calm down. izuku, shit, none of the partners deserve the hell you unleash. i know it's hard...when the person you were with isn't there anymore but you have to give izuku a chance." aizawa turns to izuku.

"i know he's a handful and a half, but he has his reasons. reasons he will disclose to you once a mode of trust is built, but never stop standing up for yourself. you're easily underestimated, but don't let that intimidate you." izuku nods at aizawa words, tears threatening to come to his eyes. 

"i trust you boys get each other now?" both men nod. aizawa gives a smile with a bit more teeth.

"good. then i'll see you both at seven in the morning. get enough rest." as they skate away, izuku pauses for a second.

"hey, bakugou." bakugou turns to him and hums.

"is that your real eye color?" bakugou snorts.

"yeah, dipshit. don't think anybody wants to have scary red eyes." 

"they're not scary." izuku states, and he means it. bakugou takes the amused look off his face, and izuku can swear his cheeks have turned a tad pink.

"whatever. i won't be in the dorm tonight." both bakugou and izuku step off the ice.

"where do you even go?"

"none of your business. just trust i'll be here in the morning." they leave the rink, izuku walking right towards the dorms, and bakugou left towards the exit. izuku turns around and watches him walk away for a bit. bakugou was an enigma, and some part of him wanted to solve him. he wanted to know what was his aversion to pair skating. who was his first partner? why weren't they around anymore? 

as he gets ready for bed, he decides he'll ask ochako when he gets the chance.

+

it's an off day, as every sunday is. they've been working with their partners for a month now, and katsuki's gotten...a little better. he's still a hothead, and piercing around the edges, but he isn't sneering at everything izuku does anymore. he only sneers at some things. since he's not having to skate (or do schoolwork), he decides to spend some time to himself. he's surrounded by people constantly, and he wants a breather.

he just talked to his mother yesterday, and she's doing well so that's a weight off his chest. he realizes since he's left home, it's a worry he'll never lose. he's on his way to dozing off when there's a knock on his door. it can't be bakugou; he hasn't been in the dorm since friday, and he never knocks. when he opens the door, he's face to face with ochako, iida, and the boy named shouto. shouto's father enji was another top pro-skater who had a rivalry with yagi. he was not known to be nice. all of his children followed in his footsteps to figure skate. he met his wife figure skating. it's practically in the todoroki's blood.

he briefly wonders why shouto is hanging out with his friends.

"hey, guys." ochako scoffs and walks in his room.

"hey, guys? that's all we get? you weren't answering your phone, so we took drastic measures!" izuku scratches his side and yawns.

"yeah, cause i'm sleeping in." ochako gasps.

"on this fine off day? oh no, mister! you're comin' with us to the mall! we'll shop, and get food, and see cute boys!" izuku's eyes widen.

"or girls...or anyone you're into because this is a no-judge-zone!" ochako looks him up and down. he's in a ratty old star wars shirt, plaid pajama pants, and dark socks. he wasn't planning on going out today. 

"midoriya, if you don't feel like being dragged through the monstrosity that is ochako on off days, you can go back to bed." ochako puts her hands on her hips.

"buzz off, iida! he hasn't hung with us all week because he's been too busy studying or skating with katsuki! i want to hang out with my friends."

"shouto's with you all..." shouto blanches.

"my partner momo practically forced my hand. ochako also had a say in it. momo's with her girlfriends probably getting their nails done. ochako and iida aren't interested in that, so i decided to come." izuku could tell shouto didn't want to talk. 

"alright. but you all have to get out for a second...i wanna get dressed." ochako squeals, clapping her hands.

"of course we'll get out of your way! c'mon guys, today's gonna be so fun!" she sing-songs, practically shoving iida and shouto out of the room. izuku puts on a sweater, jeans, and sneakers. he has his lucky charm necklace on, and he combs a bit through his green curls. they were unruly, but that's what he loved most about them. when he opens the door, all his friends are looking at him. (should he count shouto as a friend? he guesses there's no harm in it.) 

"you ready?" ochako asks, her smile wide. izuku nods.

"yeah. let's go." 

+

the mall is way bigger than the one in his hometown. there's at least three stories, and as many shops as the eye can see.

"so should we just go in the designer stores and take pictures?" ochako asks, giggling to herself while looking on her phone.

"it might be fun...but don't pretend to buy anything!" iida says, wagging his finger at ochako. she sticks her tongue out at him.

"that was one time, iida! c'mon!" iida shakes his head.

"one time is one too many." izuku snickers at them, while shouto is silent, looking around. izuku turns to him.

"so...how long have you known ochako and iida?" shouto looks at him and taps his chin.

"probably two years. most people in our class know each other from competitions or camps. i met them at a competition two years ago, and ochako practically demanded we all keep in contact." 

"ochako's great, isn't she?" shouto has a ghost of a smile on his face.

"she is...i'm just not that great with people."

"what do you mean?" shouto takes a deep breath.

"everyone knows of my lineage. i was bred to do this, and because of that...i never had many friends. it's awkward for me to be out and be social, so i'm sorry if i seem like i don't want to talk." izuku nods.

"no, i get that. back in my hometown i didn't have many friends, either. we do the best with what we're given." shouto gives a small smile. izuku wonders what he looks like smiling with teeth. 

"hey guys, we're gonna go get some food! iida can't wait anymore." ochako says, throwing her head back and groaning. iida pouts.

"we have an entire day to look at things we have no money to buy!" 

"shouto could buy something, though." shouto shakes his head.

"that isn't my money, it's my father's. and you know how i feel on him." they end up at the food court, choosing a burger place.

"do you guys have jobs?" izuku abruptly asks. they all nod.

"yeah. we've all made it so that we don't work on our rest days, but usually after classes end we work it in our schedule. i work here at a retail store!" ochako says. 

"i work at a hardware store just down the street." iida comments, going to order his food.

"my father doesn't want me to work, but i'm usually tutoring...more like people pay me to give them the answers to things." shouto says, rubbing the back of his neck. "it's not like tests or anything! i just give the answers to homework or i'll do an essay." 

"i think i might get a job here myself...i'll look around next week." ochako goes to order next, and shouto stiffens. izuku's confused.

"what's wrong?" he asks. shouto breathes out hotly.

"praying my older brother doesn't see me." he simply states. izuku follows shouto's line of vision, and there's touya todoroki in the flesh. the second oldest in the todoroki line, he was the epitome of "bad boy." there was a time he did a backflip during a competition. that move is illegal, and he just smiled at the cameras and judges. izuku remembers watching that and thinking he was dangerous. it was pair season, and touya was just another version of bakugou, but more well known. who would want to pair with him? 

both izuku and shouto turn away and order their own food. they get their food and sit down at a table, digging in. luck is not on their side, for izuku can see touya's recognition that shouto is sitting at their table. touya was tall, but he was covered in scar tissue. apparently an accident on the todoroki estate, and with the rumors of how brutal enji is, he hopes it truly was an accident. 

the scar tissue didn't take away from the fact that he was handsome. where there wasn't scar tissue, there were tattoos. he was pierced to high heaven as well, and his hair was black. epitome of bad boy. 

"shouto...you're finally hanging out with people?" touya comments, looking around the table. ochako's eyes have gone wide, iida doesn't look that impressed, and shouto is trying his damn hardest to act like touya isn't right in front of him.

"i believe he's always hung out with people. he's just quiet about it." izuku chimes in. touya scoffs.

"and who are you?" 

"a friend." izuku simply says. touya has a boy with white hair and criminally dry skin behind him, and a girl with blonde hair and sleep-deprived eyes. all three of them together looked scary as hell. touya looks at him for a second too long. izuku's getting uncomfortable.

"i've seen you before...you're katsuki bakugou's partner right?" for some reason that question seems foreboding. he nods anyways. touya gives a wicked grin.

"you'll give it up in another month. pass a message on for me, will ya?" touya comes towards him, and bends down to whisper in his ear. izuku shivers.

 "tell him...i might just steal his cute partner. tell him he better watch out. this year is my year. he's not stealing shit from me anymore. i won't let it happen." touya hisses, standing up. touya in his white button down and fitting black jeans gave izuku a look he could only describe as bedroom eyes.

"i meant the cute part, by the way." touya sends him a wink, and then he's off.

"father wants to see you this month, shouto!" shouto doesn't say anything to that. izuku's confused. what kind of drama is between touya and katsuki?

"i wonder why he's even at the fucking mall." shouto grumbles, crossing his arms and sinking in his seat a bit more.

"um...what was that! hello?" izuku practically shouts, eyeing everyone at the table. ochako sighs.

"even though touya is two classes higher than bakugou, they have a sort of rivalry. at a camp, bakugou took first place for a routine he and his former partner did. touya was upset because enji embarrassed him heavily for losing it. fuyumi won it, natsuo won it, and when shouto got to the camp, he won it too. touya's the only todoroki that didn't win first place." izuku shakes his head.

"what camp is this? shouto your father is mad..." shouto snorts.

"don't i know it. the camp was one of the most prestigous in the US. if you win first place, you're well on your way getting an acceptance letter from UA. touya decided to go to the League Academy of the Arts because he hates our father the most. he didn't want to follow in our father's footsteps at all. he's top skater at that college." izuku nods. that makes sense, touya was an amazing skater. his moves were angry, but controlled. like he didn't want to be there, but he just had to give it his all anyways.

"since we're asking questions...what happened with bakugou's first pair partner?" izuku asks. the table gets quiet.

"i would tell you, but the story gets warped every year." ochako says. "you'd have to let bakugou tell you that." iida nods.

"you can look it up, but i advise you to let bakugou come clean about it himself. nobody but the teachers mention it because it's such a sore subject for bakugou. he'll get into a fit if it's ever brought up." izuku sighed. this shit was going to eat him alive. maybe he could outright ask bakugou, but they've come so far already. lifting classes were starting next week, and he didn't want to shift their dynamic. he doesn't ask anymore questions, rather, he dips his fries in ketchup and listens to iida ramble about his history classes.

+

"it smells like fried food in here, jesus." katsuki comments, waving his hand around. izuku's laying on his bed in a Crazy Carl's worker outfit. he landed himself a job; a fast food one. he hates it with a passion: customers are rude, his co-workers are lazy, and his manager is a prick...but he's making money. he's sending about half of his paycheck back to his mother. it's not a lot, but he puts in the hours when he can. today was a long day. aizawa's out with bronchitis, so yagi's taken over their classes. yagi says aizawa wants to be the one to lead them into lifting, so they've been working on teamwork and timing.

"sorry...i'm about to leave to the showers." izuku says softly, staring at the ceiling. he hasn't told bakugou what touya said. he doesn't even know how he should bring that up. hey i saw your rival in the mall and he said he'd steal me away from you and that you better watch your back?  how the hell does someone even bring that up?

"well hurry up, cause i'm spendin' the night here." izuku sits up at that.

"really? wherever you stay at must've finally kicked your ass out." bakugou scowls. 

"no, asshole. i'm just thinking...we're partners. i should act like it more." izuku sighs.

"touya talked to me." he blurts, speaking fast. (well, there it is.) bakugou pauses.

"touya...touya todoroki?" izuku nods.

"he's rude." bakugou tsks, turning his head.

"yeah, he's not known for being nice." 

"if you beat him years ago, why has he kept the grudge? isn't that tiring?" izuku wonders out loud.

"what did he say to you?" bakugou counter-asks. izuku's cheeks redden a bit.

"he said...he was going to take me from you...and that you need to watch your back. he wouldn't try to hurt you, would he?" izuku and bakugou weren't friends in the slightest, but he'd hate to see both men in a nancy/tonya situation.

"i wouldn't let that bastard hurt me. if you don't believe anything, believe that. like hell he'd take you away from me, you don't even go to his college." bakugou rambles, rubbing his chin with his hand. izuku feels traitorously warm at those words. at some point during their conversation, bakugou had taken his shirt off. izuku had muscles, he had to, but bakugou was chiseled. he wondered how often he worked out. izuku blinks. 

bakugou was still a bee sting to the ass. his attractiveness didn't change that. 

"i'm not a prize to be fought over." he settles on saying, instead of blabbering on about how bakugou damn near has an eight pack.

"no fighting to be had. he won't get you. you're my partner." his face has to be visibly red now.

"touya says he's seen us before...how could that be if he doesn't go to this school?" 

"people can come and watch the competition, newbie. y'know what?" bakugou says, his eyes widening like he has the best idea ever. "after we get finished with yamada's solo class, you and i are heading to touya's college." 

"we are?"

"we are. if he can check us out, we can check him out, too." izuku squints at bakugou.

"you better not do that macho bullshit. let's just see how good he is and leave." 

"no promises, french fry. now go take a bath, please." izuku squeaks, shuffling out of their shared room.

+

"get in the damn car, deku." katsuki outright barks. izuku jumps a bit out of his skin, but he does step into the red ferrari. izuku has realized three things.

one, katsuki was loaded. there was no way someone just had a fucking red ferarri laying around with a middle-class tax bracket.

two, katsuki dressed really nice outside of class. he was used to seeing him in either training wear or casual clothes. now, he's wearing a biker outfit: black and red leather jacket, mesh tank-top (leaving little to nothing to the imagination), black and red leather red pants, and shiny black boots. izuku didn't even know katsuki had his ears pierced, but here he was, at least three on each ear. the earrings are dangly, and they catch the light. 

three, being in proximity with katsuki like this was making him super nervous for some reason. he texted ochako about this, and she called him screaming. about three minutes later, she was at his dorm (katsuki gone wherever the fuck he goes) and she worked with him for an hour on his outfit.

"ochako this isn't a date." he told her. ochako scoffed rolling her eyes and patting izuku on the shoulders.

"that doesn't mean you don't need to look good for touya! (izuku cringes at that) or any other guys at the League...c'mon izu. let's make you look amazing!" izuku sighs dramatically, but he gives ochako free range to shuffle through his closet.

he's sitting in a navy sweater with a collar and sleeves on it. black jeans that are way tighter than he remembers are on him, and his trusty pair of sneakers. they're red and obnoxious, but he insisted he wanted to wear them. he thought they complemented the navy. ochako thought she was going to be sick, but it was his body. chains sit around his neck, and rings on his fingers. he doesn't usually wear this much jewelry, but ochako insisted. izuku doesn't have his ears pierced, but he does have a frenulum piercing in his mouth. 

he remembers ochako being surprised when she first saw it, hell, all of his friends were surprised. izuku shrugged at their questions. he wasn't meek, he did it because of a dare in his hometown. he doesn't regret it. looking at bakugou, he wonders if he should get his ears pierced. ochako said he should wear his glasses, and izuku agreed. the outfit called for them, so he ditched his contacts.

katsuki starting the car snapped him out of his thoughts. he and katsuki have not been in a space like this, but he was adamant about checking touya out.

"he's my biggest competitor." bakugou explained to him that night after he came back from the shower. izuku found the squabble just petty bitterness between two men with extremely big superiority complexes, but he guesses enji todoroki embarrassing you as you lose a competition no todoroki has...would be a villain origin story. 

"maybe you don't need to always fight fire with fire." izuku commented as katsuki merges on the highway. izuku is not liking how fast bakugou is driving, but he trusts bakugou wouldn't fuck up like that. too much is at stake.

"why should i go easy on him when he's never gone easy on me? he's a sore fucking loser."

"yeah, but he comes from an elitist family...put yourself in his shoes."

"why are you sympathizing with that fucker? is it cause you're friends with half-and-half? yeah i see that shit." Izuku furrows his eyebrows.

"what does that even mean? he hates you not because of you, but because you represent everything he hates...you're the oppressive state of his father. you remind him of his failures." katsuki puts on his turning signal to cross into another lane.

"and that's my fault? i won fair and square! why should i be the bigger person because he has daddy issues? it makes no sense that you think i should put up with his mess." izuku groans.

"i'm not saying that—"

"then you better get to what you're saying, cause what you're sayin' right now is a load of horse shit." 

"no it isn't. my point is...that's why he's always taking shots at you. he doesn't actually hate you as a person. i never said you had to put up with him. i'm just suggesting that maybe saying nothing is better than saying anything." katsuki's quiet for a moment. the silence is weird, and izuku picks at a fraying thread on his sweater. 

"i'm not that kind of guy...but you might be right. if i don't react the way he thinks i will, no, the way he wants me to...it might just piss him off even more." katsuki has a smirk on his face.

"thanks, nerd." izuku sighs and looks at the cars zooming by.

"that's not what i meant at all."

+

"how do you even own a ferrari?" izuku asks as katsuki cuts to the exit. they're close to the Academy now. 

"16th birthday present." 

"what do your parents do?" he asks instead, because that answer told him absolutely nothing. 

"my father owns a chain of cabin resorts around the states. Bakugou Suites, y'know?" izuku's never heard of it, but then again he's never had a reason to use a cabin. "my mother works as a fashion designer for famous brands." izuku nods.

"what does your mother do?" bakugou asks, hesitantly. izuku can tell he fought with himself for a moment before he asked. izuku scratches the back of his neck. he wasn't embarrassed of his mother in the slightest, but what is he supposed to tell him after the shit he just said? chain of cabins? famous brands? 

"she has a job." izuku settles on, because this was making him increasingly uncomfortable. his mother works at a cleaning company, cleaning up other people's shit. a fleeting thought of how she could be hired to clean up after bakugou and his family makes him queasy. doubts begin to plague his mind. how could they have a base of understanding? of trust? bakugou couldn't possibly understand what it was like to struggle for money, he was born into it. 

a bitter wave of jealousy settles over izuku like a wet blanket. he should have never come with bakugou. they're silent after that because bakugou must be able to tell izuku's not going to expand on his answer. bakugou makes a sharp turn, and izuku holds onto the side of his car. deep in his thoughts, he didn't realize they were here. the League's architecture was an opaque theme; dark academia comes to izuku's mind. UA was a bright campus, full of light and life. the League didn't feel that way, but it definitely had students.

"this place looks kind of creepy." izuku comments as he and bakugou step out of the car. bakugou locks his doors.

"yeah, it's not the most inviting place. c'mon. hopefully the bastard is skating." they walk to the entrance, and people must recognize who bakugou is, because they're not questioned. they just get weird stares. when they come to the main training area, touya is on the ice. he's with the girl he saw at the mall the other day. he lifts her in the air, and they spin around elegantly. izuku gasps. he wonders if he and bakugou will come to that point. bakugou leads them to the seating area.

both men take a seat close to the front and watch touya and the girl's routine. as it goes on, izuku can tell this is a difficult piece. touya's death spin looks like it defies the law's of physics. bakugou chews his bottom lip, looking for all the world unimpressed. touya bends down on the ice, gliding a bit as his partner makes herself comfortable on his knee. they come to a stop, touya's hands secure around her waist, and her hands in the air. izuku wants to clap, but bakugou's hand on his shoulder stops him.

touya and the girl separate, and immediately his eyes cut to him and bakugou. izuku's eyebrows raise a bit, and touya skates off the ice, coming their way. he can't help but think this will go down just like it did in the mall.

"you finally came to check me out, huh?" bakugou nods.

"had to see what you were doing this year, just like you came to see me." he says, his eyes narrowing. touya huffs out a laugh, his eyes scanning over izuku for a second.

"curly here told you about me, huh? you got scared? what were you gonna do? declare him as yours? i bet you treat him like shit." 

"i treat him just fine. we're fuckin' good together, for your information. but i know you're just overcompensating because you don't really hate me." katsuki starts. izuku's eyes widen.

"katsuki, don't—" izuku starts, but he's ignored.

"i know i remind you of your shortcomings. of your father." katsuki goes on. izuku grits his teeth. he told bakugou to not say anything at all. touya's amused look is gone, and one full of pure vitriol replaces it.

"what the fuck do you know? you walk around being a bitch to everyone and everybody because of what happened with camie. and you know...deep down inside...that it's your fault." bakugou is trembling where he stands. his fists are clenched by his sides, and his eyes are unfocused. touya steps back.

"so don't you ever come to me with bullshit like that again." touya turns to him.

"ask him what happened with his first partner. i bet everybody treats it like a sore subject." touya's partner has come to watch the spectacle. izuku quickly looks around and sees other students are trying to pay attention to them as well. he makes a decision.

"come on." izuku says, tugging on bakugou's sleeve. bakugou walks up to touya, stopping when they're inches apart.

"if you ever mention her name again, i'll kill you." he hisses, voice straining with anger. touya chuckles darkly.

"i'd love to see you try. although you maybe could do it with a triple twist lift." bakugou lurches forward and punches touya square across his face. touya leans back with the force of it, his nose dripping red. touya's quick though, and he punches bakugou back just as hard. 

"you're not the only one with a good right hook." touya says, wiping his face. blood is smeared around his nose and mouth. bakugou looks the same. izuku's freaking out. he practically pulls bakugou with him.

"we have to go, now!" izuku says, ushering bakugou out of the training area. they both walk to bakugou's car, and when they finally get inside, bakugou just leans back in his seat, silent. izuku feels somewhat guilty. he did tell bakugou all those things, but it was supposed to be out of understanding. he didn't think the idiot would actually parrot it back to touya.

"who's...who's camie?" izuku dares to ask. bakugou closes his eyes and breathes deeply.

"someone you'll never know." is the response he gets as bakugou cranks the car back to life.

nothing else is said the whole ride back to UA.

+

"for this lift, one of you will hold your partner from the back of their thighs to one side of your body. you'll make a grand spin around the ice once. the partner being lifted: i would like you to add some flair. be ready to come back down on the ice though. this lift is a very simple one in the grand scheme of things, but be careful, please." aizawa explains. izuku has his curls pinned back from his face today. most of his clothes are washing, so he's in a long sleeved crop top with black athletic tights. ochako gave him a pair of leg warmers, so he has those too. he thinks he looks fucking ridiculous, but ochako assured him he didn't. that was just one reason he didn't want to come to class.

the other was bakugou. bakugou's been the most secluded he's ever seen him since their failed field trip. he hasn't stepped in their dorm room once. he guesses katsuki is coming whenever he's not there. (how bakugou would know his schedule is beyond him, but it's the only theory that makes sense.) just when he thought they got close, they're ten steps back. bakugou skates over towards him and sighs.

"you do know you're getting lifted, right?" izuku nods.

"i figured. so how do we go about this?" bakugou says nothing, but bends and picks izuku up by his thighs. izuku holds onto bakugou's shoulders as he begins to skate.

"the farther we get in these classes, the more complex the lifts are going to get. cool tricks can be done, but we have to have trust in each other."

"do you really want to know what i think about you and trust? you couldn't even shut your big mouth after i told you to say nothing." izuku remarks, bakugou still skating around the rink.  bakugou's grip on his thighs tightens just a bit, and izuku sucks in his breath.

"i'll admit i was a jackass with that. i just wanted to see the look on the bastard's face. he didn't have to go there, though." izuku rolls his eyes.

"go where? i don't even know who he's talking about!"

"it's not important." izuku's about to blow his top. 

"put me down." he orders. bakugou frowns.

"what?"

"i said, put me down!" izuku begins to flail around in bakugou's arms, and the blond-haired man comes to an abrupt stop, setting izuku down on the ice. his hands are still around his waist, though.

"what's your problem?" izuku laughs, the sound unkind.

"me? my problem? i'm supposed to be your partner, and yet you won't even tell me what's bothering you."

"we're not close like that!"

"and who's fault is that?" izuku yells. both men are in such a heated conversation they don't even realize everyone else has stopped skating.

"can't you just respect that i don't want to talk about it?"

"i would if it wasn't such a big deal! how can i trust you, huh? you come in here angry every fucking day! i'm sick of it! you are not the only one with problems! you are not the only one that has shit riding on succeeding!" izuku shouts, pushing hard on bakugou's chest. it sends the man reeling back, and his ass hits the ice.  

"you punched touya! you were bleeding, katsuki! he obviously said something that set you off...triple twist lift. what's your issue with that?"

"i said i don't wanna talk about it!" bakugou yells, his voice booming in the training area. his voice is so loud, izuku jumps a bit. he doesn't know why, but he wants to cry. he can feel tears on the cusps of his eyes. bakugou must notice this too, because his face looks a little less menacing and a lot more guilty.

"i'm done with you." izuku bites out, his tone more cold than the rink. he can't believe bakugou yelled at him like that. he didn't even do anything wrong! he just wants his partner to talk to him...to trust him. bakugou's eyes widen a bit, a desperate look to them.

"wait, izuku—" izuku puts his hand up, and sighs.

"i don't need to pair skate to make it to nationals. you don't either." aizawa cuts in.

"i don't know what kind of ship you think i run here, but you stop being partners when i or any of the other teachers demand it." izuku looks at aizawa, his eyes pleading. he can't be bothered to try and crack the case that is bakugou katsuki. he doesn't even care anymore. 

"the winter showcase is coming up. you two will not preform in it. pair skating, or solos." izuku glares at bakugou. 

"this is all your fault!" izuku screeches, matching katsuki's tone. "god, i could beat your ass!" katsuki smirks, the look not kind.

"i'd like to see you try!" 

"that's enough! get out of here. i better not see either of you on the rink for the rest of the day!" aizawa commands. he skates towards bakugou and puts his hands on his hips.

"you better confide in him or so help me i will make sure you don't make it to nationals." he's not even talking to izuku, but it's clear that aizawa means every word coming out of his mouth. 

"i'll do you one better. i quit." bakugou barks, turning his back to aizawa, his shoulder colliding with izuku's as he skates off the ice. izuku's stunned. he didn't think the proud bastard would quit! he curls in on himself, the tears running freely now. aizawa stares at katsuki's back.

"if you walk out that door you can forget about coming back!" 

"why the hell would i wanna be taught by someone who can't see i have PTSD?" katsuki says, slamming the door behind him. izuku's head snaps up.

"PTSD?" he asks. aizawa sighs, running his hands over his face. 

"practice your skating, i don't care. do whatever, i'm done teaching for the day." aizawa mutters, skating away as well. izuku's frozen in place. ochako, iida, and shouto come up towards him.

"are you okay?" ochako asks, her face full of worry. izuku shakes his head.

"no. i'm not."

+

"don't worry, i'm just gettin' the last of my shit." bakugou snaps, stuffing clothes in a duffel bag. izuku's laid on his side, tears slowly running down his face. bakugou's so busy trying to hurry he doesn't notice. let him not notice. it matters none to izuku. he has no pair partner anymore, and his first year at UA is going nothing like how he thought it would. call him idealistic; he thought he and bakugou would eventually be friends. 

"where are you going?" izuku asks, his voice wobbling more than he wanted it to. it doesn't matter now, the question is already out. bakguou halts packing for a second.

"maybe the League, maybe a regular ass college, i don't know." izuku bitterly laughs a bit.

"you wouldn't dare go to the League." bakugou laughs himself, and he looks surprised.

"i just might surprise all of you." izuku sits up and closes his eyes.

"skate with me one last time." he says, pushing the words out.

"what?"

"skate with me one last time. we were good before." bakugou runs a hand through his hair.

"i thought you were done with me."

"i am, but you're leaving and we never even got to skate in a competition." bakugou nods.

"okay. fuck what aizawa said. i think i'll piss him off one last time before i go, too." izuku doesn't say anything to that, but he does grab his skates. after their outburst and aizawa leaving, nobody really knew what to do. the kids in his class looked at him with eyes of pity and confusion. he hated it. he left shortly after and stayed in his room all day, until now. 

the rink is has lights on, but nobody is on it. aizawa is nowhere to be seen, no teacher is. 

"lace em' up and let's dance." bakugou says, bending down to tie his skates. 

"you mean skate?"

"you know what i mean, smartass." izuku chuckles a bit and they both skate on the ice. 

"we never made a solid routine." izuku notes. bakugou shrugs.

"then we'll just feel it out. we need music." bakugou runs away from izuku and heads to a booth. he fiddles with something in there, and after he emerges, a soft song is playing through the speakers. izuku's standing on the ice alone, and bakugou joins his side.

"are you ready to do this? we'll definitely get caught now that i've hooked shit up to the sound system."

"as ready as i'll ever be." bakugou takes izuku's hand in his, and they begin to skate. they curve and bend around the rink, pulling off moves effortlessly. as bakugou takes his arm and spins him around, he thinks yagi can never be wrong. bakugou was meant to be his partner. if they can skate this good and in sync without a routine, the possibilities are endless with one. 

izuku parts from him and they stop, staring at each other. 

"catch me, katsuki." he simply says, as he rushes towards bakugou. katsuki's eyes widen, but izuku won't give him time to question, time to worry. no, he will only have time to act. izuku leaps, and katuski's hands are steady around his waist. he smiles wide as katsuki skates around the rink. izuku lifts his hands up in the air, and closes his eyes. he feels like he's flying. in this one moment, he trusts bakugou katsuki with his life. because the man's arms are tight around his waist, and he will not let go. 

bakugou slowly brings him down, their faces so close together. katsuki's hands are still tight around his waist, and when they stop izuku's honestly surprised at the look in his eyes.

"don't you ever do some dumb shit like that again, do you understand me?" katsuki says, his voice almost at a whisper. "lifts are more dangerous than you know." 

"why are they so dangerous?" izuku says, lowering his volume as well. katsuki blinks, and a tear falls. 

"if i bring it up...i won't stop. i'll break."

"you'll just have to trust me to catch you like you caught me." izuku says, his hands coming to rest on top of katsuki's. he never noticed the difference in their hand size. his hands are a bit bigger than katsuki's, and that's just fine. they're big enough to encompass. big enough to ground katsuki.

+

bakugou and camie utsushimi were a unit, always skating together. it had been that way since they were children, and now they're turning into young adults. they were only a week away from a defining competition, and bakugou noticed camie was a lot more reclusive lately. whenever they skate, her moves are extremely careful and delicate in a way he's never seen her be before. camie's carefree and wild, she isn't afraid to bust out a new trick. that's why he likes her, it's one of the main reasons they work well as partners.

he wants to ask her about it, and he does, but she shuts him down.

"don't worry about me. footwork needs to be cleaned up, i'm just nervous about it all."

"you've never been like this before. i need you to talk to me. are you up to do this routine?" camie frowns. she crosses her arms over her chest and levels katsuki with a stare.

"have you ever known me to back out of a routine? we've been working on this for months! we're finally eighteen, we can finally show these people that...we're ready to take the next step. we're ready for the big leagues." 

"look me in the eyes. if you're not comfortable with a move, we can change it." camie pivots away from bakugou.

"i'd like it if you had a little more trust in me." he feels like shit for doubting her, but his intuition is telling him something isn't right. every practice afterwards camie tries to control how she moves, but whenever he has to lift her, he can feel her tense a bit. if he wasn't so in-tune with his partner he would probably miss it. but he is in-tune with camie and he knows her. maybe she's dealing with something in her private life she doesn't want to share. he can respect that. 

he stays quiet on the subject. 

on the day of the competition, he and camie are dressed in their outfits: maroon pieces with sparkles. camie looks beautiful and bakugou looks dashing. the competition is stiff, each competitor a stellar skater. 

"we're gonna blow these extras outta here, right? " bakugou asks. camie smiles, but it looks pained.

"yeah, we will." bakugou wonders what that's about, but he doesn't have time to ask. they're going on soon. bakugou laces his and camie's shoes up, and when their names are called, they both skate towards the middle of the ice. bakugou takes camie's hand in his and eyes her. he hopes his eyes convey how proud he is of all they've accomplished just to get here. 

the music starts playing, and their routine begins. every move is performed elegantly on the ice, and bakugou's mentally patting himself on the back for landing these moves. when it comes time to their solos, bakugou preforms his without a hitch. he lands his lutz, and he glides across the ice, ready to let camie have her time to shine. camie's attempting a double-axel twist, and she does so flawlessly. their last move is a triple twist lift, and they've worked hard on this one. it isn't an easy move by any means, and bakugou won't even lie: he's been apprehensive to do it. 

when camie became his partner, he vowed he would protect her on the ice (and even off it). that holds true now, and he mentally prepares himself to grip camie as he throws her up into the air. he skates over to camie and tries to grab her from her sides and not the backs of her legs like other lifts. camie jerks in his hold but still lets bakugou lift her up. he heard pain in her voice, and he has half the mind to put her down. camie must feel his resistance, because she gives bakugou a look. he decides to push on. 

when he throws her in the air, he's ready to catch her. the force exerted by him to throw her in the air pushes on her side really hard. she gives a pitiful whine as she goes up, and her arms splay everywhere. she isn't supposed to do that. she's supposed to keep her body as compact as possible so that it's easier for her to go in the air, and easier for her to come down. she's panicking. he has to save her.

he does catch her, but they both hit the ice hard. bakugou's head hits the ice, and camie falls on her side. her scream is ear-piercing. bakugou's in pain himself, but it isn't as bad as camie's. he sits up abruptly even though his vision is swimming and tightens his hold on her.

"what's wrong? camie! camie!" he shouts. camie is just crying on the ice, gripping her side like it's her lifeline.

"i messed up, i messed up, oh god, i messed up..." camie mutters through her tears, face the poster child for pain. bakugou screams for a paramedic, and three people rush on the ice tending to the both of them. bakugou luckily only has a small gash and a mild concussion. camie has something more serious. 

"she broke her ribs. she had to have been falling on this side too much during training." bakugou's mind immediately goes to all the times he and camie failed with their triple twist lift in training. "had she seen a doctor earlier, they would've told her to sit this competition out. she's absolutely messed up her bones. we're going to have to put metal splints inside, and she's going to have to walk with crutches for a while. this kind of injury will take it's time healing because of how many times it repeatedly received damage. we don't know if she'll be able to skate after this." bakugou hates that news. it chills is bones, freezes him from the inside. when he walks in camie's room, she's asleep. he wonders if she's been told the news. 

camie's parents aren't happy with him.

"you said you'd catch our little girl! how could you let this happen!" bakugou takes the verbal questions and the verbal hatred only because it might help ease her parents grief. eventually, they leave him alone and camie wakes up. she looks immensely guilty, but bakugou doesn't need that. he needs answers.

"why the hell did you hide that from me, from our coach? camie, you could've hurt yourself even worse than now!"

"got bills to pay and accolades to collect. some of us aren't rich." bakugou throws his hands up.

"i told you to let me help you!"

"who the hell wants a hand-out, katsuki! that is my family, not yours. i told myself i'd get the money and let everyone know that a girl from a small town could actually make it. you wouldn't understand." camie presses a red button by her bed, and bakugou just stares at her in shock. a nurse comes in, looking between the both of them.

"you called?" 

"i don't want him here anymore." camie says, turning her head. bakugou's heart is shattering.

"camie, wait. i might not understand these things, but i'm your friend! i just wanna help you...isn't that what friends are supposed to do?"

"you can't help me anymore." the nurse touches katsuki on the shoulder.

"the patient wants you to leave...and policy says i have to escort you out." the nurse looks extremely uncomfortable, but katsuki nods. he understands. he says nothing else as he leaves camie's room, silent tears rolling down his face.

+

"i wasn't quick enough. i wasn't attentive enough. i should've been able to see she was hurting, that she was in pain. i thought she was close to dying in my arms. i knew her situation...and you remind me a lot of her. of course you're not as loud and outgoing as her, but you both...you think i can't see? that i can't tell? i know why you're here. you need this, and i let my anger fuck it up." 

"what are you talking about?" izuku asks, not wanting to get into his own troubles.

"you work as many hours as you can at your job, more than most people do. you're sending that money back home, aren't you?" if bakugou's going to finally be truthful with him, izuku might as well do the same.

"yeah. you should know figure skating is expensive as hell. i'm not wealthy, i got in here on a scholarship. i have to pay off debts that have been made. UA is...is my avenue. if i don't skate i don't know what else i'll do." 

"i'm sorry." bakugou says, shaking his head. "i just...i don't like talking about her. we don't speak anymore and it hurts me. every partner i've had after her just reminds me that she isn't with me. we aren't the team we used to be. it hurts, izuku." izuku and bakugou are still holding each other, and izuku leans into bakugou more, giving him a hug.

"it's okay that it hurts. you need to let it hurt. you haven't let yourself properly feel anything." bakugou grips izuku as tight as possible, and he doesn't make much noise, but izuku can tell he's crying. his shoulders shake, and his chest rattles. the doors to the rink burst open, and the sound startles both men.

"i thought i told you both not to get on the rink anymore!" aizawa bellows, hands on his hips. yagi's right next to him, and izuku tries to separate himself from bakugou. bakugou just holds on, pulling him back in. he clears his throat and faces yagi and aizawa.

"you don't have to take me back here. i disrespected you...and it was the worst. i've been bad, but that was the worst. i'm sorry." aizawa's eyes widen. yagi has a small smile on his face.

"i knew young midoriya was special." 

"he still has to be punished. it's not okay for him to talk to teachers like that." aizawa chastises. yagi waves his hands.

"do as you see fit, but i don't want him leaving the school. midoriya's good for him. they're hugging." aizawa's eyes flitter back towards the pair and he sighs.

"izuku shouldn't have to suffer for your horrible ass disposition. earlier, i made a rash decision myself. you can participate in the winter showcase as a soloist." izuku smiles and bakugou squeezes him once.

"now, i have one more question to ask you. do you want bakugou as your pair skating partner? tell the truth; if you don't then he'll have to accept it." izuku looks up at bakugou, and the man has a guilty expression present.

"he's right. if you don't want me cause i've been such a dick...i'll understand. maybe pair skating just isn't my thing anymore." izuku should condemn katsuki to the fate of never being able to pair skate again. he's well within his rights to do so, but bakugou finally opened up to him. that was mainly all he wanted in the first place. 

"yes. i want him." aizawa nods.

"then it's settled. bakugou, you're on probation until next year. you both can start pair training again in the spring. bakugou, if you wanna practice you'll have to go to a public rink. your parents will be notified on this matter. you are to work on your studies. you can't skate on UA property, got it?" bakugou accepts the conditions with a pout on his face. 

"now go to bed. and turn that music off." 

+

if bakugou couldn't skate at school, izuku was going to use the man to his benefit. ever since their deep talk, bakugou's stayed in the dorm room every night. bakugou still has an abrasive personality, but he's more open now. izuku likes this side of him, and he foolishly hopes he's the only one that gets to see it. right now he and bakugou are at a frozen-over lake close to UA, and they're both skating. izuku asked bakugou if he could help him perfect his solo for the winter showcase, and bakugou surprisingly agreed.

izuku has to be real with himself: in terms of technicality bakugou's better than him. but that's why he's at UA, to get better at the small things his small town didn't really teach him. izuku's trying to bend his body backwards, leg lifted in the air, and he keeps wobbling. bakugou tsks.

"your weight isn't centered. december is right around the corner, and you're running out of time. if you can't get this by today or tomorrow, you're gonna have to cut it out of your routine." izuku frowns.

"but i like this move! it looks cool!"

"it won't matter if you can't perform it and fuck up onstage. i'm basically your second coach, and you're not makin' me look bad." izuku pouts at him.

"alright. i trust your judgement." bakugou's cheeks redden a bit at that, and he looks away.

"whatever." he snaps his fingers. "run through it one more time." bakugou walks over to the bluetooth speaker they brought and presses play on izuku's song. he starts off in a pose and begins his routine. bakugou's clapping loudly throughout it, making sure izuku stays on time. when he positions his body to perform a double axel, his foot gets caught on a rouge piece of chipped ice. his body flails around, and he hits the ice with a thump. 

"ouch..." izuku mumbles, rubbing his leg. bakugou's over towards him in record time.

"what the hell happened, are you okay? goddamn it, it's not a professional ice rink, so the ice isn't shaved down. are you good to get up?" izuku chuckles a bit at bakugou's frantic expression. bakugou scowls.

"you think this shit is funny?"

"a bit. you're worried, but i'm fine. i'll probably have a bruise." bakugou's eyes become serious.

"do not fall repeatedly on that bruise." izuku can tell his mind his going somewhere else, so he gingerly touches his cheek and nods. bakugou stands up and izuku huffs.

"i'm not gonna do that. help me up!" izuku reaches his hand out. bakugou rolls his eyes, clasping his hand in izuku's. bakugou pulls with more force than izuku expected, so he practically bum rushes into bakugou's embrace. they both wobble with the force, and hold onto each other. when izuku pulls his face out of bakugou's chest, they're close.

"um..." izuku mumbles. bakugou holds eye contact, and it might just be izuku's imagination, but is he getting closer? when they're nose to nose, bakugou huffs.

"stop bein' such a clumsy little shit." izuku blanches.

"you're such a jerk!" izuku shouts, hauling off and socking bakugou in the arm. the man's laughing, the hit affecting him none. he's never heard bakugou laugh like this. he sounds younger, more carefree. it puts a genuine smile on izuku's face.

"yeah, but you want this jerk as your partner. you signed up for it." izuku looks at the trees surrounding the lake, because he isn't lying. bakugou skates away from him and sits back down on the conveniently placed bench.

"get in your pose. we're going again." izuku ignores the feeling in his tummy and does just that, ready to practice.

+

"you're on probation."

"yeah, but that doesn't mean i can't leave. it's college not prison. my parents wanna see me anyways. are you comin' or not? you wouldn't be alone, you'd be with my friends." 

"it isn't even christmas!"

"i want a break from this goddamn school! it's only a weekend. besides, this isn't home. my parents just own the cabins, and they're visiting for an inspection. this won't even be a vacation for me really, because i'm going to get chewed out by my parents..." bakugou trails off. he blinks and shakes his head a bit. "i'm getting away from the important shit. yes or no, deku?"

"kacchan, gimmie a minute." the nickname slips out of his mouth, and both men pause.

"don't call me that shit."

"if it bothers you that much...i think i'll call you it even more. you think you can just call me deku and get away with it?" bakugou clicks his teeth together.

"touché. if you call me that in public i'll grind your bones together." izuku giggles at the baseless threat.

"sorry. i have some things to take care of, but i'll join you guys another time." a flash of disappointment is present on katsuki's face, but it goes away just as quick.

"whatever. your loss, loser." katsuki ruffles his hair, and izuku swats at him.

"cut it out, you big baby! we're spending the winter showcase together, aren't we?" katsuki whips out a duffel bag and nods.

"yeah...we are. i'll be gone for three days, can you survive without me?" 

"i'll be fine. the question that remains is will you be able to survive without me?" 

"i don't almost bust my cranium open every time i'm walkin'. i'll survive." both men are silent while bakugou packs, but this time he's going to come back. this time he's not leaving indefinitely.

"while i'm gone, i want you to practice your routine. after this weekend, we'll be right there. you're doing great. keep this up, and you'll win the showcase."

"you really think so?" 

"i don't say shit i don't mean." and that's the end of the conversation, because izuku walks bakugou out of the school. his friends are waiting in a car, and it's surprisingly not big.

"are you all gonna fit in there?" izuku asks. kirishima eijirou gives izuku a thumbs up.

"this car is way more comfortable than the ferrari!"

"hey! you shut your mouth, that car is sick as hell."

"sick as hell, but not comfortable." hanta sero comments. kaminari denki is playing a video game and mina ashido is trying to pull her curly hair into a bun. he wishes he could go with them this weekend, but he has a plan in motion. bakugou slips into the passenger seat, his duffel bag in his lap.

"hey. stay safe nerd. don't hurt yourself, or there'll be hell to pay."

"i promise i won't, kacchan." izuku's eyes widen and he covers his mouth with both hands. all his friends gasp.

"kacchan?" mina asks, a devious smirk on her face. denki's laughing his ass off, and katsuki gives him the most aggressive stink eye he thinks he's ever seen.

"i'm sorry! i didn't mean to!" katsuki slams his fist on the car's dashboard.

"drive, now!" eijirou whines at katsuki.

"what did i tell you about doing that to my dash? bye, izuku." eijirou does drive away per katsuki's request, and izuku watches them go. he smacks himself on the forehead a few times. oh, why'd he have to let it slip?

+

he's been planning this for a few days, now. whenever katsuki isn't in their room, he's been trying to find camie. after an extensive search (and help from iida) he finally finds her. she isn't that far from UA, probably about a two hour drive. he would've gone with katsuki and his friends, but he wants to surprise katsuki with this. maybe if he's able to find closure, he can truly heal (and be a better person).

she's on a dude ranch, and it looks nice from the pictures on google. he brings his friends along for the ride (more like asks shouto can he drive them all there), but shouto advises him differently.

"this isn't going to be a good idea. i don't know if bakugou will want to see her." he and shouto have become close after their trip to the mall. shouto does give out great advice, and he appreciates it all. but, it's not in his nature to be so pessimistic right out the gate.

"oh, c'mon! this is a great idea! we'll get to have fun at a dude ranch and izuku will get two long-lost friends together again. how can that go wrong?" ochako asks, smiling.

"it can go wrong in many ways. mainly the fact that if camie hasn't reached out to him since, it means she doesn't want to talk to him. you could be unknowingly stirring a pot. are you ready to handle the consequences of that?" izuku nods.

"i am. i don't think there are going to be any, but if there are i'll deal with them. i think bakugou will appreciate this." when they get to the dude ranch, they head towards the front desk.

"we have the weekend package, party of four." izuku tells the lady. she nods, handing them their room key. the cheapest option was for them to share a room, and they were all fine with it. opening the door to their room, everyone puts their luggage by their respective bed.

"okay. me, iida, and shouto will check out the dude ranch. you go find camie and get some answers out of that girl!" izuku chuckles at ochako.

"will do, ma'am." 

"i hope they have cowboy hats!" she says, walking out of the room. iida follows her, but shouto stays back a beat.

"i can't change your mind, can i?"

"nope. but thanks for caring." shouto gives the smallest of smiles.

"of course." he leaves, and izuku's all alone. he has his line-up of questions ready. he can't be too aggressive and assertive, she'll shut him down immediately. he can't be too vague either, because then she'll wonder how he even knows this much on her situation. he knows just what to say, and he heads towards the front desk.

"does a camie utsushimi work here?" the lady nods.

"she does! she's currently at the horse stables, if you want me to call her up here?" izuku shakes his head. 

"can you just direct me over there?" the lady agrees, and izuku's enamored with the sight. he's never seen a horse in real life before, let alone several, and all he wants to do is ride one. there's a lady with blonde hair combing the mane of a black horse.

"camie! a customer's asking for you!" the front-desk lady smiles at him as she walks back, and camie hops down from her stool.

"welcome! you wanna know about horses, huh? well, that's my specialty." izuku would've never thought she'd be doing horse work after shattering her ribs.

"actually...i'm bakugou katsuki's pair partner." camie freezes and quickly looks away.

"i don't know anything about that."

"wait! please, just hear me out. my name is izuku midoriya." he holds his hand out for her to shake, and she stares at him as if he's a ghost. and in a way, he's brought ghosts with him. 

"i don't know what you want from me, but i don't do that anymore. if you're his pair partner, you know what happened." izuku drops his hand and clears his throat.

"i just want him to find closure. he's been a rude jerk ever since that day...and he needs it. he thinks you hate him. he thinks you blame him for what happened."

"i do blame him." izuku blinks, confused.

"but he caught you!"

"and slipped himself. we both went tumbling down."

"he did all he could." izuku feels like he has to stand up for bakugou. "besides, don't you think you'd feel better as well if you guys just talk? get everything out in the open, and have no regrets?"

"i already have a regret. trying to live my life as a figure skater. that was the worst mistake of my life, and it's done irreversible damage to my body. my advice? drop it while you can. and even if you don't drop it, drop katsuki as a partner. he's not worth shit." izuku frowns.

"listen here. i know how he is, but don't sit here and talk like you two weren't friends. i know the entire story. the blame falls on you as well for not telling anyone anything. do you think he's a mind-reader? i'm sorry if i'm speaking out of turn, but i don't think what you're saying is right."

"you came all the way from UA to disrespect me, is that it? i know that's where the little fucker went to college."

"why are you so bitter?"

"that fall took everything from me!" camie screams, gripping the comb so tight it snaps in half. "i worked my ass off all for one fall to ruin my entire life. i had to change everything, it took an entire year of physical therapy for me to even walk correctly again. i still feel that phantom pain, i have nightmares about it. all bakugou got was a bump to the fucking head." camie sighs.

"there are bills to pay, and the collectors are not merciful. luckily, i was able to get this job by the skin of my teeth. i don't like how close it is to UA, but it does remind me of why i need to keep pushing. money needs to be made, and since i'm an only child, sending money back home falls on me. i can't be idealistic and dream about skating anymore. i put all my stock into skating, and when it was gone...a part of me was gone, too."

"one, bakugou carries immense guilt from the situation, so a bump isn't all he has. and two, why the hell won't you tell bakugou any of this?"

"why should i? would it matter? would it change anything? i can't even skate anymore, but that jackass can go to the Olympics if he trains hard enough."

"you're not the only one with PTSD from it. he's said himself he gets it as well. he's gone through three pair partners until he got to me, and then he finally cracked. you're both hurting, and you both need to heal. things won't be the same...but who's to say they can't be better?" izuku pulls the number from his pocket and hands it to camie. she snatches it out of his hand.

"that's bakugou's number. just call him and catch up."

"the bastard hasn't changed his number, huh? don't count on me calling."

"it isn't for me." camie stares at him for a beat longer and then walks back towards the stables. izuku takes that as his cue to leave. the entire time he's at the dude ranch, he doesn't run into camie again. he and his friends ride horses, eat good food, and ultimately relax. they all deserve it since the semester is about to be over with, anyways. when it's time for them to go, he looks for camie one more time but to no avail. he hopes she'll call katsuki. he wasn't lying when he said they both have grievances with each other. camie holds unwarranted blame and so does bakugou.

he doesn't assess the other reason he wants to do this for bakugou.

+

it's in the middle of the night when izuku's bed is shaken roughly. the winter showcase starts tomorrow, and he's buzzing with excitement. he and bakugou shared stories with each other about what they did over the weekend, and they've been training. he's ready, he's more than ready. he's downright confident he'll bring home the gold in this showcase. katsuki's behind him, so he has nothing to fear.

"huh?" he asks, the bed still being shaken roughly.

"get the fuck up." bakugou barks, and izuku knows that tone. bakugou's seriously angry. he sits up and hobbles his way towards the light switch. bakugou's in nothing but sweatpants while he's wearing rilakkuma pajamas. (he just can't be cool, can he?)

"katsuki, we have to be up at 8 am...it's still dark outside!"

"you wanna explain to me why i just got a call from camie?" izuku smiles a bit.

"she called you?"

"yes." the answer is curt, and there's no happiness in it. izuku furrows his eyebrows.

"i didn't even hear you take the call."

"i stepped outside cause you were sleeping, but i honestly should've woken you up the minute i heard her voice. how the hell did you find her, no, why did you find her?"

"i did it for the both of you, thanks to iida's prowess with technology."

"that's why you went to a fucking dude ranch? i thought you just ditched me."

"no, but—"

"it doesn't matter. what gave you the right to meddle in my life like that?" izuku feels his eye twitching.

"you weren't going to do it. i know you weren't. you'd rather wallow in your own self pity and be a raging dick to anybody that tries to get close rather than find your own closure. i took matters into my own hands. you're welcome."

"i'm not thanking your busy-body ass for shit. i didn't ask you to do that!" 

"you didn't have to ask! that's what people who care about you do!" they're outright shouting now, neither man caring about who could barge in.

"you wanna know what she said to me on the call? she said to never talk to her again because she hates thinking of me, that the time we had together was a stain on her life. she's doing much better now helping at a goddamn dude ranch, and that she'll never skate again. you totally helped me gain closure." izuku's face falls. katsuki's angry, but the hurt in his eyes is crystal clear. camie just re-opened every wound with only a few words.

"she said that? that's so rude, i'm gonna give her a piece of my mind!"

"you've done enough." bakugou isn't yelling anymore. he sounds dejected. he opens the door to their room, and izuku's panicking.

"katsuki? where are you going? the showcase, school—"

"i can't be here right now. i can't be where you are." 

"katsuki, wait! i'm sorry! i just wanted...to help..." katsuki walks down the dark hallway, and izuku has no idea where he'd even go. maybe eijirou's room, that sounds like the safest bet. izuku closes the door of their room and slides down it, tears falling down his cheeks. he crawls over to his bed and grabs his phone, sitting back down on the floor. dialing shouto's number, he hopes the man answers.

funny how only a few months ago izuku wasn't sure if he and bakugou would even be good pair partners let alone friends. things change.

"it's late. lucky for you, i'm working on a project. i think i'll die of exhaustion after this." shouto answers, his monotone voice comforting.

"you were right." izuku says, and he can't hide the fact that he's crying. "he got mad. i thought it would be the right thing to do." shouto sighs.

"did he yell at you?"

"it's kacchan, of course he did. but...not as much as he usually does. he was so calm at the end of our fight, i know i messed up. how can i fix this? what do i do? i don't want him to hate me!" izuku doesn't berate himself for the slip-up and shouto doesn't comment on it.

"he won't hate you, i see the way he looks at you."

"what does that mean?" izuku asks between hiccups.

"nothing, ignore it. anyway, you just need to give him his space."

"but the winter showcase! i can't do it if he isn't there! he's been practicing with me!"

"yes you can, and if he doesn't show up you'll have to. you're a skater apart from him, and i know he's helped you but you're great on your own, too. have confidence in yourself."

"i do, but we...we did this together. i wanted us to finish it together." izuku sniffles, chest aching. 

"just go to sleep right now. you can worry about all of this in the morning." izuku nods even though shouto can't see it, and he bids the man goodnight. izuku doesn't know if he can sleep, but he tries to anyway, tears plopping down on the floor.

+

the winter showcase is held in the school's biggest rink, aka the performance rink. he calls his mom because he knows she can't fly out to see him perform.

"oh you're going to do wonderful, son!"

"thanks. i'll get someone to videotape it so i can send it to you. do you want me to come home for christmas?"

"if you can get a plane ticket, then by all means! i'd love having you back home for a few weeks."

"mom?" he asks hesitantly. she hums.

"what do you do when you've made a mistake...and you didn't mean to hurt someone but you did?"

"did you meddle?" izuku blanches, pulling the phone away from his ear a bit.

"what makes you say that?"

"i know how you are. you meddle in my affairs as well. you think i don't know how much you worry about the debts and the cost of things? you meddle because you think you can take care of everything, but my love, you cannot. sometimes you must step back and allow people to work their issues out how they work them out. what we think is the best for a person can actually be the worst. i know your intentions were good, but...you don't have to play handyman anytime there's a problem." 

"i just wanted to help. now he hates me."

"oh, is this a boy you like?" izuku sputters, face so hot he thinks he's overheating.

"it's my pair skating partner bakugou! i don't like him, what the heck?" inko laughs, snorting a bit.

"my dear son, it's alright if you have a crush on this boy. nothing is forever, and while he might be mad at you for right now, he'll see how much you care about him. you only butt in because you care so deeply." izuku wants his mother to stop talking. he doesn't care for katsuki like that. hell, he hated him when he first met him! he was a jerk, and he only cared about himself. but izuku knows that's all an act. a sad, hurting, lonely man is underneath that tough exterior, and he's had the pleasure of seeing bakugou remove it.

he just wanted him to remove it some more.

"thanks mom. i appreciate it." 

"anytime. now remember: you don't have to win, but try your best!" izuku promises his mother he will, and he hangs up the phone. ever since their dispute, bakugou's nowhere to be seen. apparently his friends don't even know where is. he left campus. even the teachers know, and aizawa hasn't put up a fuss about it. since that was the case, izuku wasn't expecting bakugou to show up today. He's at the performance rink just like everyone else, and his outfit is an elegant green coat, gold embellishments everywhere. his hair is pinned back, and he has a small amount of glitter on his face.

ochako was the one that put leaves in his hair and rhinestoned the sides of his pants. he told her not to go too crazy on the rhinestones, and she listened to him. he thinks he looks nice...he just wishes bakugou was here to cheer him on. he's only been at UA for a few months, but he and bakugou have been through a lot. he's seen what bakugou's really like, how he could be, so can you blame him for wanting everyone else to see that, too? he sighs, sitting down.

"curly's without his partner. we all saw that coming, though." a rough voice says behind him. when izuku turns around, touya's right there, girl and boy behind him. (he should really learn their names.)

"what do you want?" he asks, not really wanting to get into a conversation with them.

"nothing, really. i just like seein' that i'm right. that bastard wouldn't've been able to keep up with you, anyways. it was only a matter of time before you came to your senses and dumped his sorry ass."

"watch it." izuku snaps. "bakugou's not here because...because i messed up." touya's eyebrows raise.

"you messed up? impossible. bakugou's a pain in the ass, there's no way."

"you both are a pain in the ass, if you ask me." izuku mutters, crossing his arms. "if you have nothing else to say to me that's worth my time, you can go." touya smirks.

"i bet he hasn't made a move, has he?" 

"what are you saying?"  izuku's not as oblivious as he's sounding, he just doesn't want to answer the question. touya laughs, doubling over. 

"he hasn't! he's such a fuckin' idiot." touya crowds his space, tapping him on the nose.

"see you around, curly." he scowls as touya walks away. he must be here to watch shouto. shouto made an off-hand comment about how his father wouldn't be able to make it, so his mother asked touya to show up. shouto said touya would only entertain coming because of his mother. (he hopes he wasn't another reason touya showed up.) 

the winter showcase at UA was divided into two sections: solos and pair skating. pair skating was up first, so izuku watched all the contestants. something bitter was festering in his chest, and he knows why. he and bakugou should be out there, routine ready to rock the school off it's socks. they have to wait until the spring because bakugou was so fucking annoying. his eyebrows furrow and he crosses his arms.

why should he feel bad for trying to help that stubborn asshole? he doesn't need bakugou here with him to win this. he got into UA on his own merit, and he'll succeed on it as well. he cheers his friends on as they step up to the ice, and the day goes on. the solos were in the second half of the day, so it was nearing the evening when izuku's nerves were really starting to set in. the winter showcase went on for so long because it wasn't a mandatory competition, but many students participated. izuku's closer to the rink now, pacing around. 

he must be making others nervous, because he's catching a few glares of annoyance. he doesn't give a damn though, he has to burn off this excess nervous energy. he walks away from the rink entirely, pushing on the double doors to stand in the hallway of the performance building. in the grand scheme of things, this isn't his most important performance. it's something that the school does so students can showcase how far they've come in the semester, but that doesn't matter to izuku. he knows all of this, but it still feels as though if he doesn't do good he'll die. 

his rabbit necklace is around his neck, and grips it. all his teachers will be watching him as well, and he wants to show that he's worthy of his scholarship. he's worthy of the chance they took on him. he doesn't know how long he sits out there, but he twitches a bit when someone taps him on his shoulder. it's shouto.

"you're up next. i was worried you'd left." izuku stands up slowly and stretches his limbs out.

"no, i wouldn't do that." izuku looks anywhere but shouto's face. he doesn't want the man's pity.

"i'm sorry, izuku. your friends are here for you." izuku smiles, lips tight.

"i know." he and shouto walk back towards the performance rink, and izuku makes his way towards the rink's opening. aoyama's skating right now to some pop song, and he's amazing. he pulls off a triple lutz, and izuku squeezes his hands by his sides. when the song ends, aoyama strikes a dramatic pose. everyone claps, and aoyama waves, smiling. he skates towards the opening of the rink and looks at him.

"they all love me! best of luck, darling!" aoyama gushes, walking away. izuku gulps, and he hears the announcer say his name. he takes a deep breath in, and puts on a fake smile, all teeth showing. he skates on the cold ice and finds himself in the center of the rink. he's given ten seconds to get himself together before his music starts. he takes a quick glance around the rink, trying to see if bakugou's anywhere in the crowd. it's all for naught, because he doesn't see bakugou's distinct hair at all. he can't lie to himself when his heart drops a bit.

the melody to his song starts, and he begins to skate. there's one move in his routine he implemented, but didn't tell bakugou. he was going to show him during the showcase, show him that he was technically catching up to him. bakugou made him feel so many emotions, but one thing he stayed true to was helping izuku when he asked for it. he's grateful for bakugou in that way. he's accepted that what he did wasn't okay, and he overstepped his boundaries. it doesn't make it hurt any less, and he performs a death spin, coming out of it right into an attitude. 

he skates around a bit just to build up momentum for this one move. it's a triple axel, and maybe he's being too ambitious with this move. triple axel's are the hardest jump a skater can do, but izuku wanted to try. he's not some novice, he's skated all is life, and he'll never be able to do a triple axel if he doesn't try. triple axel jumps are different than any other jump. its the only jump where a skater has to face forward instead of backwards just so there can be three turns. when he believes he's created enough momentum, he jumps. 

he tries his hardest to keep the momentum up and spin three times, but it's hard. he underestimates the amount of time he has before he hits the ice, and his legs wobble awkwardly. he falls down like a pile of legos, body splayed across the ice. there's a collective gasp around the room, and more than anything he feels embarrassed. (there was a reason only a handful of people have pulled off that move.) his legs ache, and he slowly pulls his torso and upper body off the ice. someone in thick brown boots is running towards him, and he blinks.

bakugou's running towards him.

when he gets close to him, bakugou scoops him up in his arms, gripping him tightly.

"are you fucking insane? i can't even do a triple axel! what the hell is wrong with you?" 

"you came!" izuku shouts, laughing. he hugs bakugou back. 

"of course i'd show up, stupid."

"i'm sorry." izuku says softly. "i really am."

"i know you are. you're not the type to hurt me on purpose." aizawa skates on the ice and bends down to izuku's level.

"are you alright? c'mon, i'm sending you to the infirmary. your legs, specifically your knees, took a hit." he shakes his head. "what made you want to try a triple axel?"

"bakugou." he answers automatically. bakugou's head snaps towards him. when he stands up, his knees sting. he hisses a bit, and bakugou eyes him with concern.

"i probably just scraped my knees is all. let's go." aizawa leaves izuku in bakugou's care and they both make the journey to the infirmary. 

"what happened to the goody-two-shoes that stuck to the routine as is?" bakugou asks, his arm slung around izuku's shoulder. it was possible to walk in ice skates, but it wasn't the most comfortable thing. 

"i did that because a teacher told me to. you're not my teacher, you're my friend." silence descends over the both of them, and bakugou clears his throat.

"you're probably gonna beat yourself raw inside unless i say this, so...i forgive you. you didn't tell camie to say all that bullshit to me. she said that on her own." izuku wants to vomit when he thinks of what camie told him.

"you have to know that wasn't your fault. you don't have autonomy over her body. her side still hit the ice too hard, but you caught her. you protected her as much as you could. you did what you promised." 

"it'll take me some time to truly believe that. the rational part of me is aware, but...that doesn't take away the guilt i've been harboring for years. it doesn't just go away after a day. i was a dickhead to many people before you, and that's on me. i got more growin' to do, is all i'm saying." 

"i don't think i ever said it, but i forgive you, too." izuku notes. 

"when you said i made you try a triple axel...what did you mean by that?" izuku shrugs.

"i wanted to show you that i'm just as good as you, even better." bakugou sighs.

"i'm only gonna say this once, so listen up. UA is a good place for you. you can tell you had small town teaching, but the years you spend here will flesh that out. it's already being fleshed out after one semester. you have a lot of untapped potential. you'll be better than me, better than our entire class. i have a feeling you'll even surpass yagi. you just have to keep trying." izuku wants to cry at the words.

he wants to kiss bakugou. 

the revelation makes him jerk a bit, and bakugou stops walking.

"are you alright? does it hurt too much?" izuku's about to say something, but bakugou hauls him in his arms bridal style.

"i'm not listenin' to the idiot that tried to pull off a triple axel." izuku bites back any objections he has and just relaxes in bakugou's arms, thankful. a small smile graces his face and bakugou eyes him.

"what are you smilin' about?"

"this." it's now or never. he cups the back of bakugou's neck with his hand and leans in, pressing his lips against katsuki's. katsuki's warmer than he imagined, and that's perfect because it's freezing outside. it takes katsuki a second, but he kisses back with intent. when they pull apart, izuku tucks his head in the juncture between bakugou's neck and shoulder. 

"didn't expect you to be that bold, nerd." he could hear the grin in his tone.

"you don't know everything about me." izuku tells him, breathing in his scent. when he's this close to bakugou, he can feel the man's heartbeat. it's as fast as his.

+

[epilogue: spring semester.]

"are you ready?" bakugou asks him over his shoulder. the rink is cold and izuku shivers from it. you think he'd be used to it, but he never is. the announcer's voice is booming in the building, and the last couple skakes off the ice, smiles wide. izuku shifts, brushing his hands against his sparkly outfit.

"as ready as i'll ever be."

"we rehearsed this. we're gonna kill it. aizawa's finally lifted my probation." 

"i'm surprised he didn't put it back after the fight you two had last week in lift classes." 

"aizawa knows i'm the best. he can't get rid of me for long." izuku laughs at that while bakugou places a small kiss on the back of his neck. when he looks up to the benches, he sees his mother smiling at him. whether she's happy her debt is finally all paid off thanks to izuku's hard work or she's just proud of him...he'll never know. it's probably a mixture of both. 

"alright, hot stuff. just don't push it." izuku couldn't take bakugou being barred again due to his big mouth.

"after we win this i'm takin' you out. my parents wanna finally sit down with you, have a fancy dinner and all that. your mom's in town too, so...it seemed like the perfect time." izuku grins.

"bakugou katsuki, ready to take the next step? what's next, marriage?" katsuki laughs from deep in his chest.

"that is the next step, nerd. nobody's gettin' you but me. give me...two years tops. a rock is gonna be sittin' right on your finger." the announcer calls them up, and both men skate on the rink, bakugou a steady force beside him. the music starts, bakugou takes izuku in his arms, and lifts him up high. he can hear the collective gasp in the building as he twirls in the air. when bakugou catches him, they lock eyes. he can feel the tension bleed out of the man, and he squeezes bakugou's hands before they move into the next variation.

"i'll hold you to it." izuku tells him, skating away.

[end.]