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Chapter Text

Obi-Wan Kenobi sat next to baby Luke Skywalker in an inn in Bestine on Tatooine. 

In reality, the baby should likely be with his uncle, his real family. But in the fight over Luke had been shining so brightly with the Force Obi-Wan had decided he couldn’t really stay with people who couldn’t protect him. And moreover, when they locked eyes it felt like a connection through the Force was formed in a moment, this wasn’t logical really generally bonds with the Force took time but no this had seemed instantaneous. He’d only heard of these instant bonds in stories of old Jedi. 

The baby woke up and started to scream. Obi-Wan picked him up and started to walk in circles. He had nothing to care for a baby. He’d have to use the few credits he had and hope they were accepted.

Fear rushed through him, could he even care for a baby?

Obi-Wan had to take long breathes projecting some kind of calm into the Force. When baby Luke calmed slightly and Obi-Wan looked into his eyes he couldn’t imagine not seeing them every day. The thought of being away from Luke was physically painful. 

Of course, this was a ridiculous thing to think. Exile was his plan only a few hours ago, alone, to pay for his mistakes. For not doing better, for letting Anakin, the Jedi and the republic fall. For Padmé dying and Palpatine destroying everything. Wanting to keep Luke was pure attachment. All about what he felt, not what was truly good for the galaxy. 

But he also wondered if maybe this was what was meant to happen. Considering his first instinct had been to give Luke away, and his instincts were clearly terrible this second choice might be better. There was also the fact that if the empire came looking, he needed someone who could protect him and get him out of there quickly.

The worst thing he could imagine was Luke being taken away. The one good thing left in his universe was this kid, and there was no way that he would let the Emperor anywhere near him. 

The baby finally cried himself out and Obi-Wan laid him down and sat roughly until he knew his decision was made. He was never letting Luke out of his sight till he died. It was ironic considering how many times he’d told Anakin to let things he loved pass out of his life. But again it’s not like his advice, his “Jedi wisdom” had done him or anyone else any good.

~~~~~

Obi-Wan had acquired the necessary things for a baby. Blankets, milk and diapers. And that was all the untraceable credits gone. Eventually, he’d found some people who allowed him to work for them fixing things, thank the Force Anakin had made him better with machines than the average Jedi. And he used that hard money to buy what he needed regularly like milk so Luke didn’t starve to death. 

So four months in a rhythm had been established. 

Obi-Wan was feeling a bit conflicted about letting people think Luke was his. But what else was he meant to say? Not that they talked to many people. They only talked to the people outside of town who let him fix things and the people they bought from. 

And to them he was Ben and they never gave a last name which suited these people fine. He was just a guy with a baby trying not to starve to death, not that weird here. Obi-Wan did realise to keep this ruse up when Luke was young it would be easier to let him believe Obi-Wan was his dad. That way he would always call him dad. Which would make when he was a bit older telling him that no your dad is actually dead a lot harder. Luke would always know that his mother was dead, he’d never met her, Padmé would just be a story in his head.

Which then made him think of fatherhood, how Qui-Gon had been the closest thing he’d ever had. Obi-Wan hadn’t been good enough for Qui-Gon, he hadn’t been able to keep his promise, Qui-Gon’s dying wish. 

Which made his thoughts move to how he’d responded to Anakin telling him something similar, he’d never considered himself Anakin's father he never felt mature enough for that. He was Anakin's big brother, Ori'vod as the Mandalorians said. Which made his mind fall to all his other Vod, the clones, the Jedi all of them and he almost collapsed into grief again the emotions strangling him from the inside. 

He tried to redirect his mind to daily tasks but that was still hard because he dwelled on the hard things, one of which was sleeping.

Either he or Luke woke up screaming multiple times a night. Leaving both sleep-deprived. And of course, there was the ever crushing sadness and guilt, but it wasn’t as important. He could control his fear and grief, the only thing that mattered was Luke’s safety. He had a new task and he was always good at putting his own feelings aside when he had to do something.

He could not give in to despair

~~~~~

Obi-Wan bent over some pit droids fixing them up while luke sat on a portable cot making little baby noises playing with a piece of plastiod obi-wan and sanded to be safe for him to play with. Luke had tried to take anything with colour trying to keep his interest with anything was hard. 

“Your baby could hurt themselves doing that.” A man said, shaking his head.

“Well, I'm not sure what you want from me?” Obi-Wan said gruffly, “We don’t have a lot”

“My husband thought you might like this.” He passed obi-wan what looked like a soft rubber ring with different textures imprinted on the material. “Our kid has too many. They can suck on it and when they start teething it will be a real lifesaver.”

“Thank you.” Obi-Wan nodded. He took it, ripping open the packaging, passing it to Luke who took it and waved it above his head, before letting it fall to his face. And giggled.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan repeated.

“Good. I’ve seen you for a few days trying to keep your baby safe in this hell hole. So be careful.” The man gave a shrug and walked away. 

Obi-Wan was slightly dumbfounded, but then he thought he was good to not be, he had to believe in kindness in light. Even in the darkest time. 

~~~~~

Luke was six months the first time they had to run. Troopers, no imperial soldiers. They weren’t like his friends, his comrades, they were something else now. We're setting up a base right next to the town Obi-Wan worked in. He’d been walking with Luke in his arms when he’d been stopped by a stormtrooper and told to clear out while they built. The voice of his friends sounded out of the mouth of his enemy and kark it obi-wan had started to shake as he quickly ran the other way. 

After catching his breath in a very undignified manner including tears running down his face he’d controlled his thoughts to get to the main run of transport landing. Sneaking on the transport without a ticket was amazingly easy. He had to hang in the standing area but he could stand as long as they were getting away. 

A holonet message displayed to the ship showed Palpatine announcing, well announcing that something he really hadn’t himself to even imagine was possible Anakin, no Darth Vader was alive. 

“Darth Vader shall finish removing the Jedi traitors from the galaxy,” The emperor said in a voice that carried the malice of someone named Sidious. Obi-Wan’s mind drifted for a moment, unable to process what was really happening. 

The fear and confusion that flowed through the people around him made his thoughts even more confused. His hands shook so hard he worried he would hurt Luke as he held him tight. 

Once he could he was reminded to double his efforts to not be seen. Anything that screamed Jedi from his movement, reflexes and definitely not fighting his way of fighting even without a lightsaber would be too clearly Jedi. It hurt now he was losing himself the same way he’d lost everything else. 

~~~~~

It had been three months since he knew Darth Vader was alive. It made him even warier trying to feel for darkness in the force. The idea of Vader being the one doing the looking for him, and for force-sensitive younglings filled him with disgust and fear. Another thing to be afraid of was not what he needed. 

They spent their time finding somewhere to stay either in an inn if they had the money and sometimes staying in an empty building was not the most dignified way of living but that’s what you get when you're on the run and everything you own has to fit in two bags.

He did work when he could, using the Force to get what he wanted when he couldn’t, and hiding away. He felt bad about what he felt like was abusing his connection to the force, but the other option was Luke starving or dying of exposure, so disrespecting his connection to the Force was what must be done.

They were only staying one place as long as there was a light empire presence and leaving when he felt danger coming. It was hard since the presence of the Sith had left the Force in darkness. And if he was being honest his own fear was twisting any disturbance in the Force that felt like a threat. 

He knew this was no way to raise a baby. But possibly worse than being on the run was that he was raising Luke with his own infinite fear and sadness. Fear was a known path to the Darkside. He dealt with the fear of course he wasn’t perfect, but he hadn’t been ruled by it, not like this. But now he jumped at almost every noise and often found himself hiding with Luke when in actuality they didn’t need to.

He could try and make sense of it. He was on the run, and when he’d been running before on Mandalore he had been running on fear adrenaline then too. But this was worse. 

His mind was still at war and he didn’t even have anyone here to give him confidence. Cody, Rex, Anakin, Ahsoka, Windu, Yoda, any other Jedi, nothing. It was him, his wits and a baby. So even the comfort that having someone and someplace to fall back on was gone. The bonds forged in the trials of the life of a Jedi or War were gone. Only the hardest parts of a life of battle. 

Add on to the fear was Luke. Luke was more precious than anything. And that overwhelmed emotions Luke elicited in him made him feel so much it was hard to let it go, to control it. It was an attachment, it was fear, it wasn’t very Jedi. But his mind didn't have the energy to deal with all of this, because Luke was the light. Obi-Wan would just have to find a way to balance himself and protect Luke. 

~~~~~

The first time Luke got sick, Obi-Wan lost his mind. They were staying in a refugee camp which at least meant crying a youngling didn’t make the two of them stand out. But it was all he could do to get Luke to keep something down enough he didn’t dehydrate. 

“You're son is he okay?” A young Tholothian said.

Obi-Wan felt himself flinch as he put his hand between them and the baby.

“It’s okay.” She said, “I was a healer where I lived before the war destroyed it.”

“I don’t think there is much you can do,” Obi-Wan muttered.

“At least let me take a look. I’ll tell you if it’s worth taking him to a healer here. They might be overtaxed, but it’s better than nothing.”

Obi-Wan wondered if she meant it was worth it because he was sick enough to need it. Or worth it as in poor Luke dying. The thought of Luke dying hadn’t actually crossed his mind yet. He’d mostly been just trying to get the baby to sleep and drink something. But now that horrible thought overcame him and he felt himself nodding to let the healer look over luke. If Luke did die, Obi-Wan was pretty sure he’d just kill himself. Use the vibroblade he had attached to his bag and just slit his own throat. Kark, when had everything gotten suicide bad. Well, the moment you saw those younglings slaughtered his mind supplied as an answer. 

“Well, I don't think he'll die.” She said with a soft smile, “He does feel a bit feverish. I would take him to the healer's tent though. They will have a rehydration solution which hopefully is all he needs for this to pass without long term damage.”

Nodding mutely he wrapped Luke in his arms and pushed through the crowd bringing the baby to the tent. 

She took a pinprick blood sample which obi-wan hadn’t been expecting and the horrific idea of her taking an M-Count came over him but he pushed that thought away. No sense considering that now it was done.

“It’s nothing serious.” She said with a grimace, “We do have some re-hydrating solution for you that you can get him to drink. He needs to drink it and keep him cool if you can.”

“Thank you.” Obi-Wan fished for credit in his tunic pocket.

“No need. We are a charity organization. We have this too” She passed over a small stuffed tooka of some kind. “I assume you don’t have many toys.”

Obi-Wan half bowed his thanks, taking the bottles of purple liquid into his backpack and then carrying luke. Out of there. He thanked the Force he wasn’t going to lose Luke. 

When they got back to their bunk Obi-Wan let tears fall down his face. He breathed easier now. Luke sniffed but grabbed at the Tookas paw in his small hand and shook it. Well, at least his Ad’ika had something soft.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Luke was one when he spoke. Obi-Wan was pretty sure that it was late but it didn’t matter when he said dad Obi-Wan almost cried. He’d been staying in what amounted to a hostel and another being on the run had smiled at him and told him Luke was cute. And Force help him Obi-Wan had just nodded mutely. 

Obi-Wan felt bad for feeling almost good about it. His emotions were split in two. A part of him loved hearing Luke speak to him. And another part of him was crying out for Anakin and Padmé to be here. Because it should be them. 

And that thought sent him to another war with himself. The part of him that filed Anakin under the same label as the other Jedi and so many others died. He was dead, Vader killed him. And part of him knew that Darth Vader was Anakin, at least part of him was in Vader, but that was too much to think about. So he decided he just wouldn’t accept it, was that foolish yes and it would never fully work but he was choosing self-delusion.

A talking Luke did pose the question of making sure he knew that people weren’t safe to talk to. If they ever caught on to the fact they were strong with the Force it might get back to the Empire. And on top of that, they hung around mostly desperate people who might try and manipulate them. Meaning they were never safe anyway. It was no way to live but Luke being taken or killed was worse.

And it wasn’t like mistrust of others was new. The council had struggled to trust other people outside of their tight-knit group. Because for as much as they tried suspicion had drifted into the Jedi. They had deeply tried to do the right thing they really had. Good for the republic, for the order, for the whole galaxy they had just failed . He had failed. 

He didn’t think he’d ever be able to really accept that. He could let himself believe that everything was the will of the Force. Death, destruction, the pain he could believe that was the will of the Force. But somehow he still felt like he had failed the Force. And more than anything he’d failed the people he loved.

So it seems he would just have to live with that. Because more than anything he was trying to do better. Because Luke deserved the galaxy and he had to believe it was the Force’s will for him to help Luke get it.

~~~~~

Obi-Wan was sitting with Luke on a hill overlooking a rather nice looking field. He took some deep breaths trying to reach out into the Force. It was the right place to do so, and with Luke sleeping peacefully on a blanket his tooka folded in his arms it was the best time as well. 

He was able to bring himself to a calmer state than he’d been in since everything fell apart but he couldn’t fully become one with the Force. The connection was of course there it could never be cut off entirely but opening up to it felt wrong. It was almost as bad as a Padawan's connection to the Force where he had the force swelling around him but he couldn’t reach out to it. He couldn’t keep his calm long enough to do it, and he thought too much about the past and the future. The long view he had once had was taken, the completely encompassing feel of the Force was ripped away from him, and he wasn’t sure how to get it back. 

Maybe It was for the best anyway. He could still sense danger and was able to shield himself. It didn’t matter if he was cut off. All that mattered was protection

~~~~~

When Luke was one and a half they were staying in an abandoned house on some godforsaken moon settlement Luke had caused a disturbance in the Force. He’d been sleeping when Obi-Wan woke up to a jolt in the Force. Luke was dreaming and he was sending waves off. The emotions are so strong in The Force but also just the sheer presence of him in the force. The baby wailed loudly and it was all Obi-Wan could do to get him to quiet back. Obi-Wan fell to the floor running his hands down his face. Then he stood up meditating trying to shield his ad’ika through their bond. Allowing Luke to sleep while Obi-Wan shielded him in the force long enough no one would find them. 

They would leave again now. And they’d managed to stay here for two months, a record since Tatooine. 

They paid for passage on the first long haul passenger transport off the planet to some moon two hyperjumps away. 

There was a crash outside the porthole and Obi-Wan found himself feeling like he was back in battle his vision blurring. His ears rang with long past screaming and his whole body felt tight. 

 Coming back to reality he realised there was no battle, it was just his brain playing tricks on him.

And Obi-Wan's flashback had sent Luke crying again and he found himself near tears himself. They were just a kriffing mess. He was broken and the kid was trying to turn himself into a flashing light calling Vader to him. The people in the compartment next to them came over and glanced at them. Obi-Wan just shrugged and they looked at each other and turned back. 

The psychological instability he had was rather a problem but couldn't he just learn to let his feelings go and become a Jedi master inside again? But Obi-Wan was being completely honest he had no idea how and no idea if he would ever be one with the Force again. His brain and body were too shattered now.

~~~~~

Right before Luke turned two they were watching a town celebrate Empire Day. 

Obi-Wan watched from an abandoned apartment as fireworks were set off. It made him feel physically ill, the celebration of everything he had lost. Everything the galaxy had lost. Everything so many kids like Luke would never even get to know. He was breathing hard trying to force himself not to throw up. His hands shaking and his mouth filling with acid.

His desperate heaving was interrupted by Luke toddling over to him and putting his hand on Obi-Wan’s cheek. The very touch of the kid, the presence of something warm and bright within the Force was enough to pull him back from the edge. His little beacon. 

Luke was walking now and babbling. He could get a few words together. Usually to ask for food or to be held. The kid was restless but not really afraid. The emotions coming off him were generally confused. Which to be fair Obi-Wan was also almost always confused. But he wasn't terrible at following Obi-Wan’s lead. He listened to the gesture to come and to hide. Which was all he needed from the kid, just stay safe. That’s all he was asking for. 

Obi-Wan was startled from his thinking when a young human woman looked down through the window

“You staying away from Empire Day too?”

“Yes.”

“Nice to meet ya.” The woman told him as he flipped herself into the room. She had curly black hair cut into a quiffed strip down the middle of her head, her dark skin that glistened with a light layer of sweat. Her eyes were a warm brown and even with just that look, Obi-Wan could feel life coming off her. She was as bright as any Jedi in the force but there was something untamed in her life a spark that had never been trained to be a fire. 

Obi-Wan took Luke’s hand and the kid quickly dodged behind Obi-Wan. 

“Not here to hurt you.” The woman sat on the floor taking bread from her bag and taking a large bite, “This is one of my hiding places but I'm not going to kick some poor homeless people out of it.”

“Are you hiding from stormtroopers?” Obi-Wan asked

“Nah I’ve never really been chased by real imps, mostly locals.”

Obi-Wan nodded almost imperceptibly. He felt Luke peeked out from behind him. 

“Bread!” the baby shouted.

“Baby’s cute.” The woman said, passing a chunk of the bread to Luke. “I’m La’ara.” 

“Ben and Luke.” 

“So you're on the run from imps?”

“No. Our home was destroyed between the clone war and the empire.” Obi-Wan explained, not a full lie.

“We get a lot of refugees out here. People are just trying to find somewhere not engulfed by fire and soldiers. But one day I'll get off this planet, back to the stars”

Obi-Wan nodded, taking Luke into his lap while the toddler munched on his bread.

La’ara spun a blaster in her hand and Obi-Wan noticed he didn’t flinch, something about it didn’t remind him of clones, or stormtroopers or anything like that. It was more like Hondo’s crew. She was showing off. Even less dangerous than them there was no threat of darkness in her. 

Luke seemed to feel something similar as he clapped.

“Boy knows cool when I see it” La’ara smiled, “And I think you're more than just a refuge.”

Obi-Wan felt his heart sink, they were going to need to run. Even if she didn’t mean harm she could still bring it. 

“You were security on your planet or something right?”

Oh good, that was a fair assumption, and thankfully not something that required them to leave. 

“Yes.”

“Now I have to tell you one of my crew will be coming by here tonight. Like I said a homeless dad and his rather cute son are not on my hit list. It’s dark right now you’d probably just end up with even shadier people than us. I’d leave sooner than later though, this whole city is on edge.”

“Fair enough,” Obi-Wan said. He should leave now but something about this girl was oddly comforting. 

A woman did come through the window later and gave him quizzical looks.

“Bialla '' she pointed to the woman. A Togruta her lekku and montrals putting her likely in her late teens. She had deep red skin that was striking against the white of her lekku. He pushed thoughts of Ashoka away. “And this is Ben and Luke. They will stay with us tonight I think. Figured we’d be heartless to kick them out.”

The others nodded. Bialla rang true and warm in the force but they were not as strong as the leader. Actually, La’ara felt as strongly in the force as some Jedi, if untrained and she had very little shielding her emotions open projecting. He could take interest in someone who must be force sensitive and learn why she is doing this and why she had never been found. But right now he was glad he wouldn’t have to find somewhere else to sleep.

They sat around two heat lamps, one from Obi-Wan and one from the crew. And Obi-Wan listened to them tell Luke stories. Something Obi-Wan rarely did. But hearing them tell an action story of adventure without mentioning the fact that getting shot leaves you bloody he wondered if he could tell Luke stories. 

The next morning the two women stretched and looked to jump out the windows.

“Good luck”

“There is no such thing as luck,” Obi-Wan said.

“Maybe for you.” She winked and proceeded to the window ledge to climb to the roof.

Obi-Wan didn’t believe in luck but he did believe he was ready to tell Luke stories.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

By the time Luke was two and a half, It had become a nightly ritual for Obi-Wan to run through stories of adventures with Bant, Quinlan, Qui-Gon, Anakin, Cody, Rex, Ahsoka and whoever else slipped into his memory. The kid got hooked on stories that had anything to do with flying or deep space. His other favourite was Ahsoka stories. He was his father's son. 

But that wasn’t as true as it should be, when he cried he ran into Obi-Wan’s arms. When he didn’t understand something he asked Obi-Wan to explain. And the selfish part of him who hadn’t wanted to give the youngling up grew stronger. Because he loved this child like he was his own. 

Every time Luke closed his eyes to sleep, Obi-Wan would run his hand over Luke’s hair and whisper that he loved him. He was determined to do a better job raising this Skywalker than the last time. He didn’t know much about what the future held but Force willing this kid would know he was loved. That Obi-Wan would always be there for him.

Was Being this emotionally expressive or possessive the Jedi way? No. But he knew he’d never told Anakin when they had time how much he meant to Obi-Wan and that had left Anakin hating him. So instead Luke would hear it every day, and be kept safe. He deeply hoped Luke would never know the sting of feeling unwanted and undeserving. Obi-Wan knew what it felt like and Luke’s father had, Luke would never. 

When he was feeling particularly sentimental like this he found himself using Mando’a to his Luke, something he’d only ever done with Satine, oh Force Satine. There had been nights when he wondered if he would have liked leaving and having a kid with her. But no, he had always meant to be a Jedi, even if he had failed them. But those words still carried more softness in them than basic.  

Luke would wake up crying and Obi-Wan would take his little hand and softly say

“Ad'ika It’s okay, I'm here. I’ll keep you safe.”

When he told the stories sometimes it was wonderful and made him feel more connected to the Force, to himself and Luke. Other times it was painful, the act of remembering itself hurt . 

And one of those things that hurt was that he had to talk about the Force and Jedi to make any of the stories make sense. And this hurt because Luke would never get to learn the way Obi-Wan and all the Jedi before him had. And because how he had to teach it was to teach Luke that the Force was dangerous, not just because you could hurt someone with it, but because their very connection to the Force could be dangerous. 

So when he did show Luke his lightsaber it had not gone the way he wished it could have.

“This weapon is dangerous. You can’t tell anyone about it. And if I ever draw it, run for cover?”

Luke shrugged. 

Obi-Wan bit his lip, “The lightsaber can get you hurt.”

“Is a secret.” Luke reasoned.

“Exactly. A deadly one.”

“Deadly one.”

“And we never talk about being Jedi okay?”

Luke nodded.

Obi-Wan sighed, he wished their life wasn’t about hiding. But it was and there was nothing he could do about it, but make sure Luke was good at it.

Before they went out he’d always remind him of their queues.

“If I do this,” He held a finger to his mouth in the “shush” gesture, “You stay silent okay?”

Luke copied the gesture.

“If anyone tries to talk to you, don't answer.”

Luke nodded again.

“If I ever put you down outside you stay there okay?”

Luke’s child-like face was screwed into its most serious expression and Obi-Wan would always felt bad. And also wonder how much his son understood. He was only two, but he hoped just enough to stay safe.

Then he’d run a hand down his face. And wonder what in sith hells he was doing. 

~~~~~

Luke was three and Obi-Wan held him tight to his chest as he moved through a crowded street. The movement made his mind move back to another life when he was Padawan and he wondered when he would be able to move as gracefully as Qui-Gon and be able to make the people move around him. 

Some of his Jedi skills stayed present even when he tried very hard to only use them when necessary. Trying to keep his lightsaber hidden, putting it sideways hook on the back of his belt instead of hanging on the side. He hated hiding but that was what was necessary.

He was stopped in his tracks when he felt something move in the Force, something dark. Not strong enough to be the sith, but a dark Force user. He slipped into an alleyway sitting half-awake Luke who was currently sucking on his finger on the ground. 

Obi-Wan held his finger to his lips and Luke copied the gesture, his eyes quizzical. 

In only a few moments the source of the disturbance in the Force showed itself. A being in all black with what he knew to be some kind of lightsaber at her side. A shiver ran down his spine but at the same time, a wave of calm came over him. Something about this situation felt almost normal. Luke pulled on Obi-Wan's pants, he radiated confusion and terror, he must feel the dark disturbance. 

His senses picked up a whisper in the crowd. 

“Inquisitors, they hunt Jedi and Force-sensitive younglings.”

Damn it Obi-Wan thought. Of course, the emperor and Vader would think of something like that. Make people do their dirty work for them. And it was bad because he and Anakin would likely be a beacon if they ever got good at their jobs. Which they clearly weren't yet considering they’d passed by him a Jedi master and a baby who was more of a disruption in the Force than anybody but Yoda and Anakin. 

Then the worst thought hit him. They hunted Jedi and Force-sensitive younglings . Which meant some of their people were somewhere on the blasted planet. And that brought up the need to act to protect those who couldn’t. The very thought allowed him to gather his control and once again be a Jedi Master. 

Obi-Wan fixed Luke onto his back swinging his pack to be carried on his front. He moved silently through the streets following the inquisitors. He sighed when they went to a small house. He put Luke into a bush and told him to stay still. He lit his sabre and walked to stand next to the door. He could feel the thoughts of the inquisitors one ordered and locked down one disorganised and full of anger.

He heard a “hush” noise and the thoughts of the inquisitors were even more locked down. One pushed their head outside and Obi-Wan it clean off He dropped his bag, stepping into the hut

“Your partner is dead, hand over the baby.”

“Never.” The inquisitor laughs, “One Exiled Jedi isn’t a threat to me.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. Force help him with this karking smug idiot. 

He placed the youngling behind him and the blades on the inquisitor's sabre started to spin making a dizzying motion. 

Obi-Wan breathed; he had to get into his combat awareness. He moved into his ready stance pulling his shield up to protect any thought of his responsibilities. 

The inquisitor lunged at Obi-Wan hoping to surprise him. But he could feel everything right now and was able to move quickly. This dance continued for a few minutes but Obi-Wan found an opening on the side of her chest and she spun her body to strike. He faked right but pushed his blade into the open spot and caused her to retreat into herself in pain. Using this moment of confusion and her semi hunched stance he cut off her head. He stared at the mess and used his lightsaber to cut her sabre into pieces so no one could use it. 

He picked up the force-sensitive baby. She was a Cerean. Obi-Wan placed the baby into the mother's hands.

“He’s okay,” She said.

“I think he’s just shocked.” Obi-Wan shrugged. 

“Thank you.”

“I’d move far away if I was you, if you stay they will come back. Use false names as much as you can.”

“Then you master Jedi.”

“Don’t tell anyone about me, please. For the sake of my son”

He quickly turned running out of the house picking up his pack and getting over to luke.

“Cold everything cold and there are bad feelings,” Luke screamed when his dad knelt in front of his child.

Kriff Obi-Wan thought Luke’s not felt combat nor been right next to a person I killed. Not to mention the prolonged presence of death. “I know Ad’ika it’s these bad men who want to hurt you and the other babies. I had to keep you all safe okay?”

Obi-Wan picked Luke up and kissed his head. He sent waves of calm to Luke getting him to cry quietly now placing his head into the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck

“Well, at least this time I went for the head.” Obi-Wan joked to no one in particular. He laughed a dry aching laugh for fear of crying.

~~~~~

After the confrontation with the Inquisitor Obi-Wan took up practising his lightsaber work every morning he could safely do so and tried to meditate more regularly instead and work to do so even when he felt like his thoughts would betray him.

His fighting was still very good and the muscle memory was strong. But apparently, meditation was not the same. He found his meditation was variable for a kind way of saying it. On good days he could let the force into him and manage his shields well keeping his thoughts and emotions ordered. On bad days he could barely calm himself down enough to breathe and keep his shields mostly up but his thoughts were very disordered. His emotions would get the better of him and his thoughts would spiral and he’d find himself having a very hard time doing anything the rest of the day. Mind and body burning with a pain he couldn’t fully place.

On good days he got to do one of his favourite things and bring his Ad’ika into his lap and float in the air, his calmness wrapping around both of them, the force flowing strongly. Luke would glow in the force even brighter than normal, warm and strong. A little star.

~~~~~

Obi-Wan found himself feeling swallowed by his sadness. They’d heard some people talking about the Jedi’s betrayal. He had kept his Jedi composure not showing any emotions and even got through the entire market back to the empty barn he and Luke had been staying in. 

He’d sat Luke down and fallen to his knees. Sobs had hit his throat, all of his dead friends' names swirling through his mind, the thousands of Jedi and padawans who lost each other and then lost everything. The betrayal of the clones. Anakin. It hurt so much and he couldn’t keep it in. It made him remember the nights in his quarters during the war when he’d count the dead from the last battle. Committing every trooper, Jedi and republic officer to memory. He released a string of expletives wishing deeply that Jedi weren’t trained to have such good memories. 

Gathering some of himself up he noticed Luke balling in front of him. He was sure his own emotions had rubbed off on the youngling. 

He picked up the three-year-old and kissed his sweaty hair. 

“Hey, Luke, it's going to be okay. I promise.”

The toddler hiccuped a few times before burying his face in Obi-Wan's shoulder, tears making the cloth soaked but the harshness of the sobs was gone. Sitting back down Obi-Wan wished that he could still keep his Jedi composure completely, but Darth Vader had broken his ability to fully control himself. 

Now he had Luke in his care and he knew they would never be the same. Even if he had learned to shield himself from those around him, he could no longer compartmentalize his feelings. Because Luke was there in all his goodness and need for love. And even if Obi-Wan couldn’t be everything the boy needed, at least Luke would know he was never alone, and that he was cared for.

“You’re here, you're safe, you're not alone.” Obi-Wan whispered to the boy in a soft voice, “We’ll be okay.”

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

When Luke was three and a half Obi-Wan had a good surprise, for the first time in a long time. 

So when he heard a ship land outside he was sure it was going to be a problem. He drew his lightsaber and held it in ready position. Out here it was kill or be killed there was nowhere to run. He picked Luke up who was staring with wide eyes.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“It's a ship.”

“ship”

“Ligh'saber.” Luke pointed out.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said with what he was sure was an unconvincing smile, “I’m gonna need you to hide okay. Don’t come out till I say so.”

Luke cocked his head, “Till I say so.”

“Still and quiet,” Obi-Wan repeated 

“Still and quie’,' Luke said around the Tooka‘s ear.

He ran outside as the cargo ship landed. 

Turned out he didn’t need it as the people who climbed were a ragtag group. Two humans, a Togruta, and a Twi'lek, all women. The Twi’lek woman had bright blue skin and an impressively bright yellow jacket fell on the grass with a laugh.

He should have turned off his lightsaber but instead, he took a step back towards the house. There was nothing dark in the Force. It was actually warmer with these people here, the light side strong in them. In a way, he almost recognized but that didn't mean that every nerve in his body told him they were going to hurt Luke.

“Hey, I know you.” One of the humans said, “We met some time ago. You have a baby. Ahh, Ben, you’re Ben!” 

Obi-Wan brought his lightsaber down but didn’t shut it off, “La’ara?”

“Yup that’s me. Didn’t know you had a lightsaber though who’d you kill to get that?”

“No one.”

“Wait? you're a Jedi!”

The other people stared at him. The four of them share concerned looks. Before La’ara seemed to collect herself affecting nonchalance. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“The empire kills the Jedi,” Obi-Wan explained, feeling very tired. 

“Well damn, we aren’t snitches.”

“And why should I trust you?”

“Because your other option is to kill all of us,” La’ara said, arms crossed, eyes sharp.

Obi-Wan thought about it, she was right. And he wasn’t a murder, he had let himself be a lot of things, but he couldn’t be that. 

“Look I’m not saying you couldn't” The one who appeared to be the oldest said, “I know the Jedi are like killing wizards but I would prefer you didn’t. We just landed.”

Obi-Wan shut his sabre off but stayed planted in front of the door, “What is your plan?”

“Plan? To land we’ve been in space way too long for Bialla; she wasn’t a space baby like the rest of us.” La'ara said with a shrug returning to a casual demeanour he could sense only slight tension.

Obi-Wan nodded, turned to walk inside and he was surprised when they all went to follow him.

“What are you doing?”

“Aren’t we your guests?”

Obi-Wan snorted, “I don't even own this place.”

“Not our problem. You probably have water and we ran out a full day ago.” La’ara said walking quickly to keep up. 

“You're welcome to it,” Obi-Wan said

“You can come out now Luke,” Obi-Wan called. The toddler came running out and Obi-Wan bent down and picked him up. Luke was smiling but a bit of apprehension was in his eyes.

“Oh, the kid is so much bigger!” La’ara sai.

“It’s been a while.” Obi-Wan shrugged.

“Much Bigger,” Luke repeated a habit of his 

He let them follow him in and they quickly took to drinking his stock of water. He didn’t mind as there was a stream that was clean enough to drink from. So it wasn’t like if they drained the water Luke and he would suffer.

The Twi'lek stopped drinking and gave him a tentative smile “I’m Alema by the way”

“Good to meet you,” Obi-Wan said.

“I’m Bialla. I know we met before but I wouldn't remember me?” The togruta, Bialla introduced herself.

“So Ben that's your real name?” La’ara asked.

“I wouldn’t tell you either way,” Obi-Wan said.

“Good to know.” La’ara pulled herself onto the counter, “Hey we’re crowding him out. You ruffians should go hang outside. I can tell we’re getting on the nice Jedi's nerves.”

“Then why won’t you come?”Alema questioned

“Because you all voted for me in charge.” La'ara sighed.

“I’m your mom,” the eldest of the humans said.

“You married my father so your judgment is rather off. So I get to be the boss.” La'ara quipped

The women, even the one who was being made fun of, laughed and rolled their eyes like this was a common jab. It made Obi-Wan hurt, his grief bubbling up once again. Luke squirmed the wet ear of his toy knocking obi-wan in the face. Obi-Wan put him down and luke rocked on his feet before looking up at La’ara, “I’m Luke.”

“Yeah, I met you before,” La’ara said.

“oh,” Luke said looking down at his feet in their tattered shoes that he was already growing out of.

“It’s okay you don’t remember,” She said, “So Ben got food?”

“Food” Luke muttered to himself.

“I’m sorry but it’s not enough for us and your whole crew.”

“No problem, I was actually gonna offer you some of ours. Turns out last time we stocked up we really remembered our deserts and not our water.” She said, directing the last part to the women who were hanging out right outside his door. 

Water,” Luke mumbled to himself.

Obi-Wan felt himself let out a long breath.

“Ya glad you didn't chop us up?” La’ara said with a wide smile.

“We’ll see.”

“Oh, he does have a sense of humour.” 

“I’m funnier than you are,” Obi-Wan said, returning her smile.

“Have you ever told a joke?”

“Joke?” Luke mimicked.

“Oh my god Ben, does your baby not know what a joke is?”

“He knows what a joke he’s just repeating...”

“He doesn’t know what a joke is. I got here just in time to stop your kid from being boring.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, “Luke, why don’t you go play in the back room?” 

Luke looked torn but nodded and went to the room.

“Why send the kid away?” La'ara said

“Because we need to be honest with each other. You know who I am, so I deserve to know who you are.”

“We have a freighter. We take goods from one person to another. Often just from a place to another ship but ya know.”

“What would your cargo be? The last time I saw you, you were hiding from the law”

“Whatever people will pay us to move, and I was hiding on a planet then I much prefer the stars.”

“Does the empire know about your business?”

“I mean maybe, the four of us have chain codes filed with the empire so we can move without getting stopped. We may be doing some underworld related activities, but we don’t do weapons or other stuff that the empire tracks heavily. They don’t care.”

Obi-Wan nodded. She gave off no signs of lying, he decided to trust her. Which of course he probably shouldn’t, but he wanted these women to be safe. 

“If I thought the empire was coming I'd leave. We are a mess but I don't want to be the reason little Luke dies. I assume having a Jedi for a dad means the empire doesn’t like him.”

“No they don't” A flash of fear ran through him, tinged with a little anger he didn't like to admit to.

“Hey, it’ll be okay, get four extra weapons with you for a while.” La’ara put her hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, sending a jolt of confidence. The feeling of another presence so strong in the force, another Force-sensitive who wasn’t steeped in darkness.

“Hey” La'ara’s mother sad, “I thought sex was off-limits for Jedi”

“Well, I didn't always follow the rules.” Completely aware the code didn’t actually prohibit sex itself, but his answer was more enjoyable.

“Good for you.” She said

“I bet she's pretty,” La’ara teased, “Those eyes are so blue.”

“I’m not going to talk about that,” Obi-wan said, the face of Padmé flashing through his mind.

“Oh” La’ara nodded with a sympathetic expression, “Sure.”

“You can all stay here if you want. I mean in the main room here if you got bedrolls. this house has only one bedroom and it’s Luke and I’s”

“Fair enough. But you wanna tell us where you got the food?”

“I brought some of it with me from when we landed in the city a while that way” Obi-Wan waved his hand to the right, “The rest we got from out here. There were some crops growing and there is plenty of food to catch or gather in the woods.”

“Wow mister snazzy Jedi killing for food. Sounds cool.” Alema called from the yards making lightsaber noises and striking the air with an imaginary blade.

Obi-Wan smiled ruefully.

“Thanks, Ben.” La’ara said, “For letting us use your living room. And telling us there’s good hunting in these parts.”

Sliding off the counter she shook Obi-Wan's hand and went out with her crew.

And they did stay. For two weeks. They let him sit with them at a fire they built. They regaled him with stories of flying. And even cajoled Obi-Wan to give up a few stories. He kept it pre-war. Luke vibrated when either of the groups told anything that involved some good flying just like he always did. Obi-Wan got to tell some Jedi history about the past heroes that he’d been told about when he was but a youngling. He left out the part where his teacher would go into long tangents about how each person involved in these stories used specific techniques and skipping the most academic parts. Most people didn’t care about Jedi theology. 

Luke slept in Obi-Wan's lap breathing softly in the firelight. Obi-Wan noted the four faces around him had become familiar enough his hair no longer stood on end. And the sturdy strength of La’ara’s force signature had become familiar enough he knew he’d miss it. So much like his broken bonds with his brothers in the order. 

Bialla and Alema were passing around a bottle of spotchka talking softly, La’ara and her mother who told them to her Mom Arcoum were chatting softly drinking Merenzane Gold and offered it to Obi-Wan.

“You don’t have to.” Mom Arcoum said with a smile.

Obi-Wan thought about it before taking the glass and drinking it down. Kriff it had been years since he’d actually had a good drink and it was nice. 

And likely because he hadn’t drunk in so long he ended up drinking probably more than he should.

“So his mom. She bounce on you or dead?”La’ara asked.

Obi-Wan frowned, why did they have to ask a thing like that. 

“She died,” he said softly.

“I’m sorry,” La’ara said.

“She died in childbirth,” Obi-Wan said, the image of Darth Vader with his hand choking the life out of her. His hands started to shake. Force, why did he have to think of that? Of Anakin hurting Padmé. Wait no, no Vader doing those things.

“Luke never met her.” Mom Acourm said, shaking her head.

Obi-Wan graced his hand over his sleeping form. Luke wasn’t having nightmares, which was a gift from the Force if a little odd. Obi-Wan wondered if it was the company.

“No, he never will.” He gripped his hands together to stop their shaking.

“The war and now the empire.” La’ara said her hand held her glass tight enough that her knuckles turned white, “I don’t like any of it.”

“No.” Obi-Wan said, “I think The Emperor is about the only one who does.”

“Well lucky you're here. I know the Jedi were killed.” Mom Acourm said with a sombre smile.

“Yes, I'm surprised you didn’t call me a traitor,” Obi-Wan muttered.

“Well, we don’t care to be honest.” La’ara said, “I didn’t care for the republic all that much in the end and I didn't like him declaring it an emperor. Figured it wasn’t the Jedi who made him do that. None of it made any sense.”

“We don’t need you to talk about it.” Mom Acourm said.

“I don’t think I can,” Obi-Wan said softly. He hadn’t, not since he saw Master Yoda and Bail on that blasted medical base.

La’ara touched his arm with a soft smile. A rush of calmness and a double dose of warm intoxication.

The next morning the crew was packing up and la’ara turned to him.

“Good luck to you and luke.”

“There is no such thing as luck,” Obi-Wan said nodding to her.

“That sounds like a you problem, I’m all about luck.” She joked and bent down to luke.

“Keep an eye on your dad okay?”

Luke just trembled gripping his dad’s hand tightly.

When La’ara’s crew’s ship took off luke fell to the ground and sobbed. He kicked his feet and smack tiny fists into the dirt. Obi-Wan had no idea so he just sat next to his kid.

“Ad’ika we’ll be okay.”

“We’re alone again.” He’d said, eyes red and posture resigned, “It’s cold again.”

“As long as we have each other we aren’t alone,” Obi-Wan said, taking his son into his lap.

“Don’t leave me.” Luke sobbed, leaning into Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

“It’s okay Luke. We’ll be okay. I love you.”

“Never leave me.”

“Okay. Okay”

This kid would be the death of him.

~~~~~

On Luke's fourth birthday they had been sent running again. The original owners of the farm had come back and kicked them out. He could have been somewhere else on the planet. But something told Obi-wan it was better to leave. To be a ghost in the wind. 

Luke had been excited when he told him that they got to go back on a ship now. Apparently, the prospect of space flight is more exciting than being kicked out of your home.

It always concerned him being on crowded ships, more chance of being found. At least he didn’t look like the Kenobi from the hollow net they might have seen. The past four years had aged him, his hair starting to grey rather fast. The only thing that was the same was his cloak. He’d taken to repairing it as best he could. It was something he was fond of as it always felt safer to have it on.

The other problem was an excitable four-year-old was likely to run into the people. Causing Obi-Wan to nearly have a heart attack looking for him. 

He would always find him and have the same discussion

“Luke, what do I always say when you run away?”

“Not to,” Luke said, hanging his head.

“And why?”

“Because next to you is the only safe place in the whole galaxy.”

Obi-Wan always wondered if he had actually ever put it that grandiose but it tended to be how the kid phrased and it got the point across.

“Yes. And it’s also just not smart to run around like that.”

“It’s uncivilised,” Luke said, affecting Obi-Wan's voice.

“Sure.”

Luke smiled at this. And Obi-Wan shook his head, taking Luke into his arms. 

~~~~~

Luke was four and a half when a Force related episode happened. A tree limb had almost fallen on them and Luke had shoved it forward, or that was what Obi-Wan assumed he had intended to do instead he had shattered it. It was pretty impressive for a first time using it like that, but it also meant they needed to start meditating and working to have some kind of control.

He really should have thought of this before, Luke’s emotions and thoughts were broadcast into the area for any force sensitive to feel and as he grew they would become more coherent and useful for hurting them. Obi-Wan may no longer have as much emotional control, but he could still shield his thoughts and presence in the force. On bad days in which his emotions could still be felt, by force users, Luke more than anyone else due to their bond. He would have to work to be able to keep Luke out when needed. 

So they started their meditative practice with the squirming toddler and just focused on teaching him to breathe. And eventually, they got good at doing that together. Obi-Wan felt better too teaching luke to do it had his meditation more consistent and more effective

“We are connecting with the Force .” He told Luke who was staring with big eyes rocking only a bit.

“ Force .”

“The Force is what connects everything in the universe. You are connected to it. I can feel it in you.”

Luke nodded.

“When you can feel how other people feel, or how something is going to happen, that's your connection to the Force.”

“My Force.”

“It’s not yours to possess the force everywhere and eternal. But you, my dear one were given this gift to be able to connect with it. “

The toddler smiled at this.

Knowing about the force and connecting with can help with feeling anxious, with nightmares and help you get to use your force.”

“Help me when i’ scared.

“Exactly,” Obi-Wan explained. When you want to calm down I suggest saying this. “I am with the Force and The Force is with me.”

“'the Force is with me,” Luke repeated.

“Exactly good job. Dong so while focusing on the moment will serve you well.”

“The Force is with me.” Luke seemed to like it.

Along with the meditation he instructed Luke to talk to him about what he felt, so he could be keyed into what the Force was telling him. Luke had been confused by this; it mostly included Luke randomly announcing emotions he had, but it was better than the kid trying to hide anything from him. 

However, there was something different to how they taught Younglings and Padawans in the temple. And that was that it was dangerous, using the Force had to be hidden from others. If other people knew it could end up with them all being hurt.

The youngling seemed to understand too. When anyone brought up the empire or the Jedi around them he would look at Obi-Wan with eyes that told him that he had taught the kid one thing. And that was to be on guard. 

Anytime Luke gave him that tense Look he remembered every time he’d been told fear was the way to the dark side. He could be priming another skywalker to fall. The poor youngling would not even have a chance to be anything other than afraid. When this thought came into his head he realised there wasn’t really anything to do. Because kark, he was afraid all the time, and he wasn’t sure how to fix it. He tried to control it, he really did. Practising all of the skills he’d been taught. And for the most part, it worked with almost all his other feelings. 

But fear wouldn’t leave, he really should resign himself to the fact that he couldn’t really be a Jedi right now, but that felt like giving up. And the idea he might fully lose himself to despair scared Obi-Wan more than anything.

~~~~~

Luke was asleep in his arms and Obi-Wan was thinking about the clone troopers after having told Luke the story about how the clones and Yoda saved the day in Geonosis, And then how they'd sacrificed on the second battle.

Even after they'd ended up on the side of the empire he still missed them. And as his thoughts spun around he thought about how they had been raised for war without a decision. And living their own lives was desertion.

He’d thought about it during the war, where the clones fit in outside of battlefields. About how his friends would be treated by others. He hadn't, however, put enough action behind his thoughts, there had been a war on and they were good soldiers and they needed them to protect the republic and free people, and then of course it hadn’t mattered he’d failed the republic and failed the troopers. 

“Blast it all” Obi-Wan whispered, laying Luke down, running his hand through Luke's shaggy blond hair.

But even during the war, he’d known that they were not just good soldiers but good people. And they hadn’t been treated as such and that made him feel deeply sad and guilty. He'd treated his men the best he could, feeling a connection with them, caring about them. But didn't take away from the fact The Jedi had known the clones were made for one thing and not given them options or ways to live if they couldn't fight anymore. And that had been on the Jedi for accepting them, and the senate for never shutting down the program, for making it worse every time they could.

Force, all he wanted was to be able to apologise and to understand why they had sided with the empire. Had all of their friendship, brotherhood been fake? Just for once, he wanted something to be free of ache and regret.

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke knelt down next to his dad who was sleeping. It had been a bad night, his dad tossing and turning in his sleep mumbling names. The morning had been spent with his dad’s hands shaking looking very tired.

It was his birthday, he was five, something his dad didn’t seem to like considering he wasn’t doing good. Luke hated when his dad felt like this; it made his own thoughts feel funny.

That morning he had given him a birthday present. It was a chain with a pendant on it. Told him it was a Naboo design which was special, Luke knew it was where his dad met his brother/best friend Anakin Skywalker. But Luke was a bit distracted because he was thinking about his mom. Luke hadn’t even really thought about it till a few days ago. They'd gotten separated in a market and a nice lady had asked him if he was looking for his mom. To which he had explained he had no mom. And a girl who was with the woman had laughed at him. Luke had been confused but he didn’t get to ask ‘cuz his dad had been freaked out. 

His dad had been even more scared than he was, and Luke had been  scared . He wanted to be brave like all the people in his dad’s stories. But losing his dad was really his only fear. His dad always said to stick by him and that he wouldn’t leave Luke. That he would keep him safe. 

Luke was saved from thinking about that scary memory when his dad woke up.

He smiled and ruffled Luke’s hair, “Morning.”

“It’s night,” Luke explained.

His dad sat up, “Sorry about that.”

“No problem. It’s my birthday”

“Yes, it is. I gave you a present this morning.”

“But I want something different.”

His dad smiled and shook his head, “What do you want?”

“To know who my mom is.”

His dad frowned. “I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?” Luke asked, “I had to have one?”

“Because if you know..” His dad seemed to stop not really having an answer, “I'll tell you about her, not who, but what she was like”

“Okay,” Luke said, it was a compromise he supposed.

His dad sat up leaning against the wall, “She was a politician, which I'll forgive considering all her other qualities.”

Luke smiled, “We don’t like politics.”

“Exactly.”

“But we do like my mom.”

“Of course we do, I love your mom.” 

Luke nodded, “what else?”

“She was smart and dedicated. She believed in a better place for all the silly younglings like you to grow up.”

His dad ruffled his hair and Luke grinned. He liked when his dad did that. His dad seemed to get lost in his thoughts, something he did a lot. And had been for the past few days did more so than normal. 

“That’s enough for today,” he said and stood up walking towards the shelf. “Food?”

“Yes,” Luke said. 

His dad ate the sandwich across from him, eyes distant. Luke watched him carefully waiting for him to look at him again, really look at him. His dad’s hand started to shake, putting his food down. His breathing was shaky. And Luke just wanted it to stop. Fear was so strong in the room, he felt sad and overwhelmed. Luke screamed and it finally got his dad to look at him. 

“Oh my dear one, I'm sorry.” He placed a hand on Luke's shoulder. And then the feeling was gone, “I didn’t realise I had no shields up, I'm so sorry.”

“Where it go?”

“I’m working to keep my emotions better in check.”

Luke could feel sadness and guilt around him but the abject but the swirling crushing was gone.

~~~~~

When Luke was five and a half they were in a hotel his dad had found a job and his dad said that meant they didn’t have to live way outside the city. But Luke liked the stars and watching the suns and moons of all the places they went. It was also less loud outside of the story, when he was in the city he felt too much and his head was louder. 

But Luke had something else to think about, he was sick. And his dad was freaked out about it because Luke was so sick that he needed medicine. But his dad didn’t want to move him, so his dad was going to go to the clinic across the street and get some medicine. But that meant leaving Luke alone, and they didn’t do that. 

It was always him and his dad and being away from him always did feel scary as he always started to feel some kind of hole around him. He’d asked his dad why and it hadn’t gone well. His dad had looked close to tears and apologized to him, saying it was because there weren’t other people with the force but him and luke.

“Hey, ad'ika I won’t be gone long. You stay in the room, I’ll be right back.”

“Yes dad” Luke paused, his dad had closed himself off in the force and Luke didn’t like it.

“I have to buy medicine. If I didn't, I wouldn't leave.”

“It's okay,” Luke said, putting on a smile for his dad.

“Okay. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Luke tried to be good. He tried to be brave like all his dad’s old friends, but he was never alone like this. And he started to sob. He shook back and forth his already runny nose making his face sticky and wet. He was surprised when a woman pushed the door open. She looked concerned.

She spoke and he didn’t quite get it but it sounded closer to huttese

“<Go away.>” Luke said trying huttese

“<No way kid. Where are your parents.>” she slid into Huttese easier. 

“<Dad’s not here.>”

“<He left you alone.>”

“<He’s getting stuff.>”

“<Little boys shouldn’t be alone.>”

“<We don’t like people.>” Luke said. His dad had never explicitly said that, But still he wasn’t to talk to people unless necessary. Luke was instructed to be polite and nice to people, but his dad always tensed up any time anyone talked to him outside of buying something. Which to Luke meant they were dangerous.

“<I can see that. But I can hear your crying from two rooms over. And right now you look feverish. You're sick.>”

Luke said nothing.

“<Can you tell me your name?>”

“Luke.”

“<Luke is a nice name what about your last name?>”

Luke just shook his head and whipped his nose. His dad always used different last names if someone asked.

“<I understand you're scared I'm not here to hurt you.>”

She didn’t feel dangerous, but the empire could look like anyone. He knew what stormtroopers looked like and some of the imps, but his dad always said to stay safe and tell no one anything. Because anyone could tell the imps stuff.

She stayed looking at him and Luke felt his head grow even more stuffy and the world went black.

He woke up when he heard shouting.

“Who are you?” Obi-Wan 

She looked confused.

Obi-Wan sighed and repeated his question in huttese.

“<I’m Leslie. And you are?>” 

“<Luke’s dad. What are you fucking doing here?>” his dad sounded angry. He didn’t think he’d ever heard that before. 

<“I heard your son balling from rooms away and was having trouble breathing. Why would you leave him alone? Where's his mother?>”

“<His mother died in the clone wars.>” His dad said jaw set.

His dad’s face and voice were calm but he was still burning. He had never seen this before. For once his dad was the one bringing the fear.

“<I promise you I did nothing to harm him>.” The woman sounded afraid of  his Dad .

“<Just leave>”

She ran away and he rushed over to Luke. His dad’s eyes went back to normal and he felt fear and sadness again.

“Oh, are you okay?” He asked, brushing his hand through Luke’s hair. 

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“What did she do to you?”

“Nothing I promise.”

The connection between them lit up and flowed with warmth. Both of them let out long breaths. 

~~~~~

“My ad’ika” His dad said ruffling luke’s hair as they sat around the heat lamp eating some soup.

“You call me that.” Luke said, “It’s Mando’a”

“I’ve told you that before.”

“What’s dad in Mando’a?”

“Buir” 

“Buir” Luke said, trying it out and nodded. He liked it.

“As I said before, Mando'a is special to me because of its connection to people I cared a great deal about. I could do Huttese too.”

“Uma ji muna.” Luke said with a pleased smile, “I know huttese.”

“Yes, you do. I know a lot of languages. It was always very useful. I’ll teach you, anyone, you want. We’ll start with Mando’a”

“You know everything,” Luke said dramatically. At least that’s what it felt like. Though he was pretty sure his dad didn’t tell him lots of stuff.

“I don’t. If I did, life would be different.” 

“I know the empire hates Jedi, but how come we never see any?” Luke asked.

The colour in his buir’s face drained, “Most them died, were killed by the empire.”

“‘cuz the empire hates you.”

“Yes. So I need you to be careful, we've talked about force. It Must be hidden, it’s important to be safe with our connection. But it’s just as important that you don’t use it too much. Our connection to the force can be a danger.”

“I can’t use it anyway?” Luke said wrinkling his nose.

“I am sorry luke. But I'm worried about losing you, or you get taken by the empire.”

“Okay dad, I'll be careful.”

That was sad, he didn’t like the idea he’d never meet any Jedi and it made sense why his dad was so scared they would get hurt. Luke’s mn drifted as he looked down at the soup, it was from one of those dry packets.

“When will we get real food?” Luke muttered, pushing the potato around.

“Hopefully soon. But at least it’s hot. Most rations aren’t.”

Luke put his bowl down and flopped back. “I wish we could not have rations.”

“Yes, I know.”

Luke rolled onto his belly and looked up at his dad’s face in the glow of the heat lamp. His dad looked tired. He always looked tired even when he was happy or sad. Except when they had to get out of somewhere fast then he seemed calmer and more awake. Sometimes if he got into a story he would seem excited giving Luke all the details of adventures with Anakin and Ahsoka. Luke wanted to be like that, like the cool pilots and Jedi and troopers in his dad’s stories. He wanted to be brave like that, so he and his dad didn’t have to be scared.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan woke up on Luke’s sixth birthday and didn’t want to get up. But he also dearly wanted to stay awake every time he closed his eyes he saw Darth Vader's eyes glowing yellow and the younglings lifeless forms. His usually purpose-driven energy that allowed him to act on his love for Luke was drained from him. 

His six-year-old son could be heard rustling through the packets of dried food they’d bought to have with them on the run. 

Time slid together and he couldn’t fully wake up till he felt like pulling on his pants leg desperately winning. 

“Dad, I'm thirsty.” Luke was begging.

Obi-Wan finally pulled himself to a sitting position. He stumbled to the water jug he had sitting on the window seal and passed it down to the kid. 

Luke had tears in his eyes and Obi-Wan could feel his own sadness reflected back at him. That sadness combined with Luke’s desperate fear and confusion made Obi-Wan’s body and mind ache even more.

He sat back on the bed and held his head in his hands. Time still didn’t really exist but he was able to stay awake enough to answer his kids babbling with mostly coherent thoughts. 

“Last year I asked you about my mom and you told me only a little bit. Can that be my birthday present this year too?”

“Is it still your birthday?” Obi-Wan asked, pulling his hands down his face.

“Yes.”

“Okay sure.” Obi-Wan thought about something safe to tell him, “She was beautiful and determined. Believed in democracy and fought for those ideals. Smart enough to go toe to toe with the best speakers. She would do anything to promote her values. But above all she was kind.”

“Do you think she would have liked me?”

“Oh yes. She would have loved you so much.”

“How did she die?”

Obi-Wan blanched. The image of Darth Vader holding her with the Force by the throat jumped to his mind. He knew the droid had said that she had lost the will to live. Neither of those things seemed appropriate to tell a six-year-old. So he went with the best explanation which happened to be childbirth and hoped that he didn't think he was somehow responsible. 

“She died giving birth to you and your sister.” He said and then suddenly realised his mistake. Damn,  kriff ,  why ?

“Sister?” Luke creased his eyebrows, “Where is she?”

Obi-Wan sighed to himself that this was not his day. “So when you two were born me and my friends had to separate the two of you. So that the imps wouldn’t find you.”

Luke looked thoughtful which gave Obi-Wan time to marvel at the fact he was using a word like imps to describe the people that took his world and Luke's future from them. 

“Will I ever see her?”

“I don’t know.”

“I hate the imps.” He scowled.

“Hate is a path to the Darkside.” Obi-Wan found himself saying without thinking.

“Darkside?”

“It’s a way people use the Force. People like Vader and the Emperor.”

“Okay...”

“Please. No more questions today. You can ask about your sister and mom again next year. And I promise to teach you about the Force more.”

Luke nodded but looked sad. 

He climbed on the bed next to Obi-Wan. They both laid down and Obi-Wan wrapped his son up in his arms. And drifted back to sleep.

~~~~~

It was a few days after Luke’s birthday, Obi-Wan was finally feeling a bit more like himself. Luke had actually listened to him and hadn’t asked anymore about his sister or mom. He hated that he didn’t freely talk about Padmé or Leia. But as long as he didn’t know their names he could never accidentally let anything slip to anyone about who he was. And no one who tried to get anything from him would think he was interesting enough to take away.

Obi-Wan stirred custard in a bowl while Luke slept. He had forgotten to get anything special for Luke’s birthday to eat so he had finally gotten something sweet.

“You never quite knew what to do with Anakin too.” A voice he could swear he knew said.

Obi-Wan felt a chill run up his spine and he turned slowly. Ah damn had he finally gone fully insane? Qui-Gon Jinn’s voice echoed in his head.

“Do you remember what Master Yoda instructed you to do when he sent you with Luke?”

Did he? Yes, he'd been instructed to try and connect with Qui-Gon’s spirit.

“Yes, Master.”

“You didn’t listen to him.”.

“How could I?”

“Well, I can't really argue with that. He didn’t give you much guidance, though he was a bit busy.”

A jolt of despair hit Obi-Wan, “I made a mistake didn’t I? I was selfish.”

“I don’t think it’s my place to judge.”

“Then why are you here? all you did while I was growing up was judge”

“Because it’s the will of the Force .” Qui-Gon’s voice was filled with amusement. 

Obi-Wan snorted, “Is this all the will of the Force?”

“Maybe.”

“Shouldn’t you know your part of the Force now?”

“I can’t communicate it all.”

Obi-Wan nodded, “You know you left me with a kriffing mess when you died.”

“I am sorry for that.”

Obi-Wan smiled ruefully. “Yes, sure you are.”

“None of that is the point is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“What is the point Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan thought for a moment. The point? The point of his life right now was Luke, the only one that mattered.

“Luke.”

“Yes. Do you think you’re doing right by him? You’re avoiding fully training him.”

“I’m not. We are meditating regularly.”

“You are teaching him to fear the Force. That it’s more important to hide from the empire than to be a Jedi.”

“I’m not. I’m telling him to be cautious with his connection.” Obi-Wan said and realised he was wrong. 

“He is afraid of it.”

“Well, I think it’s for the best.”

“And why is that?”

“It’s better that he’s afraid and won’t use it and call Vader here”

“Yes, I understand you fear Anakin finding him.”

“Anakin’s dead.” Obi-Wan snapped.

Obi-Wan deeply hoped this would not be something that Qui-Gon pushed him on. He didn’t really want to challenge that particular belief right now.

“I understand you fear Vader and Sidious finding him. But what will he do when you’re gone?”

Obi-Wan creased his eyebrows. “I hate that you’re right.”

“Hatred is a path to the Darkside.” a verbal smile in his voice

“Yeah. Yeah.” Obi-Wan mumbled leaning his forehead on his interlaced fingers.

“I believe you should train him.”

“I am but I'm not sure I should go past teaching him to meditate. The last time I trained someone to be a full Jedi it ended in death.”

“Do you really believe that this is your fault?” Qui-Gon’s voice was achingly kind.

“Of course it is. You know what I did to Anakin, I hurt him so badly, misled him.”

“Yet you decided to raise luke?”

“I know. I’m a hypocrite. But I felt a bond the moment I held him. And he was my Ad’ika.”

“Mando'a '' Qui-Gon noted softly. 

“Yes.”

“I see. That may be so. But he still needs training. He will face Vader one day.”

“Not if I have a say.”

“You can not control his destiny, only guide him.”

“Last time you thought you knew someone's destiny was Anakin.”

Qui-Gon said nothing for a minute then ignored the point entirely “He needs to be prepared. He will not stay secret forever. And as I said you will not be here forever.”

“What if I fail again?”

“I will speak to you again. But you have much to think on. He must be a Jedi”

Qui-Gon went silent. Like he always did not answer any of the most important questions.

He looked back at the sleeping luke. He supposed he’d have trained Luke. Really train him. Like a padawan. Though not really, he wouldn’t have the time to learn in classrooms like propper younglings. But he was still young and he already had a connection to the force stronger than other younglings had. Not to mention Luke had a deep innate sense of the Force. He already had better reflexes than most and he could feel how Luke connected with the world around him. His reported feelings sometimes were clearly whims, over time Obi-Wan had noticed how precinct they were. And he still had nightmares. Luke was a bit young to help Obi-Wan work out which ones were visions and which ones were simple fears but the Force swirled around Luke and he shone so brightly. 

Yes, he would train him fully. Because Qui-Gon had been right, the old bastard. Luke had to be able to defend himself. And he was meant to be a Jedi. There was no doubt about that. 

Qui-Gon had been wrong about the fear though. There was no way to separate the fear from the situation they were in.

~~~~~

Obi-Wan and Luke sat across from each other in the mouth of a cave.

“I need to start training you to be a Jedi.”

“Like in your stories? Like Anakin and Ahsoka?”

“Yes. Like that.”

“Wizard.”

And with that comment, Obi-Wan forgot what they were doing.

“Where...Where...Did you learn that?”

“We stayed in that house with other people. Last planet. They said it all the time!” Luke looked apprehensive, “Am I not supposed to say it like Karking or bastard?”

“No, it’s just something a friend of mine used to say”

Luke stepped forward grabbing his hand, “You don’t get to be all cloudy”

“What do you mean?”

“When you’re upset you get all cloudy in the force, and you don’t see me. And you mumble, And you can’t breathe, And it makes me scared.”

Ah yes, that. He hated that his kid saw him that way.

“ Cloudy'' is a nice way to say it. When it happened on a ship someone called you cross wired.”

“Did they now?” Obi-Wan smiled for some reason that was deeply amusing

“Anyway. You have to teach me!”

“Okay, dear one. Breathe with me.”

A few minutes of calm Obi-Wan felt more centred and in the moment. Luke was a bit restless but he could feel the boy was at least attentive.

“I’ve told you about the Force before. But now I must teach you to understand it; It’s a part of everything, binds the whole universe together. The living Force is in all living things. An energy field that flows and connects all of us.”

“When I was little you told me it’s my connection to everything”

“Yes” 

Luke nodded, “But more connected to you. The Force links you to me in my head.”

“In your head?”

“Well, you feel me?”

Obi-Wan nodded thoughtfully, “It’s a bond through the Force, a connection that’s stronger than what you have with other people. It allows for a stronger emotional resonance and allows people to feel each other from further differences.”

“Why?”

“Usually it’s connected for a reason but with you, it just was the moment I held you.”

“You love me,” Luke said, with a serious nod.

~~~~~

The next day obi-wan and luke sat in their meditation poses obi-wan helping luke feel his breath.

“Today I will teach you the Jedi code. It’s a bit confusing at first. But I think if you’re going to be a Jedi it’s a good place to start.

“There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is the Force ”

Luke repeated it back and they went back and forth a few times.

“Very good Luke.”

“What does it mean?”

“Emotions, we have them But we do not let them rule, we aim to make our decisions separated from what we feel, and always promote peace. We seek knowledge and understanding and do not give in to ignorance. We aim for peace in all things. We seek harmony with the Force and the world around us. And we do not fear death. Ours or others.”

Luke seemed to think for a moment before a wry smile crossed his face. “You’re not very good at it are you?”

Obi-Wan was taken aback. He’d been a master, he was a good Jedi. But then again he was being ruled by much of his grief and fears. He thought for a long moment on the best way to say it and it came back to him. Something he couldn’t place when he learned it but knew it had something to with his old master

“I’m not always perfect. No one is. But we  choose to act in the light every day  and that’s what’s important.”

“What’s the light?”

“It’s a way to refer to the part of the Force that is selflessness, it’s balance and calm. It’s a connection to the Force that is rooted in compassion, self-discipline and knowledge.”

“So it’s good stuff.”

“In a way. It’s good but it doesn’t mean we follow it for pleasure. But because it will bring the most peace and balance for the universe.”

“Peace and balance.” Luke nodded, then seemed to get an idea “It lets you do stuff too!”

“Yes. Those of us gifted with a connection can learn to use that connection to do “cool” things.” Obi-Wan said finding the end of his sentence much less intelligent-sounding than how he’d done before. But it had come out that way anyway.

“Cool!”

“But for now we will focus on understanding the Force and connecting with it. In a few days, we will try some basic exercises.”

“If I'm good, will I ever use a lightsaber?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said. And he thought of how he must meditate to cleanse Anakin’s lightsaber. Obi-Wan had taken it after he died. It was only right that he gave it to his son.

“So I'll be like my dad and be a Jedi!” Luke said excitedly.

Obi-Wan nodded and leapt into his arms. Hopefully, you’ll be better than me, Obi-Wan thought.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

“One more day of just meditation then we will get better at reading the force around us” Obi-Wan instructed joining Luke on the ground, “But today I need you to focus inward. Not just on what the Force means and is, but what is inside of you. Your thoughts, emotions, and wants. Mastering your emotions is key.”

“Why?”

“As I was taught as a youngling. Peace, serenity and harmony. We must master ourselves before we can hope to master the Force.”

“How do I master them?”

“It will take time and work. But for now, it’s most important to be aware of your feelings. That’s the first step.”

Obi-Wan took his own advice and took in his emotions. Noticing what he felt and then with his long exhale he let his emotions go. It didn’t work as well as it used to. He felt too... too shattered inside like everything in him and broken apart. But It did help because it had to.

He refocused out feeling the Force around him, this did feel right. The vibrations of everything around him moving as one within him and out. The Force would always be there, even if he couldn’t really call himself a master as he lacked mastery of himself, he still had his connection to the world. 

The cave they were in felt like life. There was nothing but the feeling of nature within the walls.

“You’re floating!” Luke’s voice cut it.

“Ah, am I?” Obi-Wan settled back to the floor, “I hadn’t intended to, sorry to frighten you.”

“Is okay” Luke mumbled, “Sorry I don't think I can do that?”

“You don’t have to. Right now I just want you to focus on your emotions.”

“But they’re big.” Luke scowled.

“Big?”

“Confusing and strong.”

“Talk to me about them.”

“I’m confused all the time, and the world is loud.”

“It’s okay to be confused, you’re just a youngling and even masters are confused.”

Luke nodded.

“And I will help you understand.”

Obi-Wan went into talking about breathing exercises to calm his body and mind when things got loud.

~~~~~

“We talked about how loud the world was a few days ago, remember?”

“I’ve been doing the exercises just like you said.” Luke asserted confidently.

“I know dear one. But what I wanted to do was help explain why things get so loud. I realised I haven't gotten around to that yet.”

Luke sat cross-legged across from Obi-Wan with an expectant expression on his face.

“You can feel people's emotions, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Well not everyone can do that. It’s because of our connection to the Force we can. And because of that people's feelings and thoughts can become a bit too much for us. Feeling all our own intentions and emotions along with other people is hard. We have to learn to separate the two.”

“Okay”

“And when we end up in cities and the like we can feel leftover emotions too. So crowded lived in places can feel even stronger”

“Leftover?”

“Being strong emotions can soak into the environment around them. And we can pick them up.”

“I can feel people's emotions because they soak things?”

“Not exactly there is no water. What I mean is when our emotions are strong they can be so strong they stay after we leave.”

“So when I go places I can feel people's past feelings.”

“Exactly.”

Luke smiled. “Sometimes it’s good because places feel happy.”

Obi-Wan felt the warmth of Luke and almost felt like sobbing. Kark, poor Luke had been through so much in his short life but he still was just a starlight incarnate. 

~~~~~

A few weeks of training passed and Luke was doing very well, the use of the Force seemed easy to him, which made sense as he was the son of the chosen one. His control was still lacking, he could levitate rocks while meditating a simple but powerful exercise. But instead of the calm hover, Obi-Wan had instructed, the rocks were bouncing around. He’d even cracked a few, not through opening them but his strength in the force got away from him. Oh, he was so much like his father.

“Very good,” Obi-Wan said and Luke let the rocks drop.

“Let’s try a game.”

“Game?” Luke perked up at that.

“Yeah. Choose some rocks.”

Luke grabbed a few of the roundest rocks he could find and grinned at Obi-Wan. That smile made his heart feel just a bit lighter when he saw it. 

He sat the rocks down.

“First we’ll just pass it back and forth okay?”

And they did. Luke excelled at it as Obi-Wan knew he would. It brought back memories of Younglings in the temple, but today the memory felt more nostalgic than gut-wrenching.

~~~~~

“I need you to understand when we are around other people you are not able to try and use the force to move things or to try and read other people’s emotions.”

“No floating rocks,” Luke said with a solemn nod.

“Yes or intentionally seeking out feelings or pushing things out the way nothing. It's to keep the empire away. They want Jedi destroyed. As we learn shielding and stealth it will add to the protection”

“And you were an important Jedi,” Luke reasoned.

“I was competent, yes. And a good weapon” Oof that sounded bitter. Was he bitter about the war, no not really. But it was the truth, he had been a tool not of the force but of a republic that had stopped having any ideals.

“Because you were good and I'm going to be great, they have to kill us.”

“In your case, they want to take you away to use you”

“Oh that sounds scary”

Luke looked as if he were going to throw up. Obi-Wan leaned onto his knee so they were eye to eye, “I will do everything to keep you safe. But our Jedi skills are a last resort”

Luke nodded.

Obi-Wan pulled luke into his arms, “dear Ad’ika I love you”

“Love you to buir.”

Chapter Text

Luke
Luke walked with his dad trying to practice his breathing like he’d been told. As they passed through a village that was loud in the Force. Emotions jumped everywhere but at least right now they were mostly good feelings. But he was getting tired and found himself leaning into his dad’s leg.

His dad smiled at him as he lifted him up holding him on his side. His smaller pack brushed against his dads making the water bottle hung on the side make a sloshing noise.
“Sorry, dad,” Luke murmured.
“It’s okay Ad’ika I know you’re tired.”
“Loud.”
“I know”

His dad kissed his head while they stopped at a stall. His dad shuffled for credits passing them over. He nodded to a pack of some powdered food he didn’t recognise and a small juice of some kind of red juice.

The lady in the stall smiled, sliding a purple juice over, “I suggest this one for the kid, it’s a little sweeter, the same cost.”
“Okay.” his dad said absentmindedly.

They sat at a table in a park and Luke drank the juice smiling. His dad fished in his bag bringing out bars made of fruit and grain that were much better than ration bars if he had to eat bar-shaped food.

They munched and watched kids run around playing Luke’s energy returning to him. Luke had never gotten to play with other kids. His dad had never let him play with others really because he couldn’t leave his dad’s side. Normally this was okay because it was safer to be with his dad, it was the only safe place in the whole galaxy. And he also made his dad so afraid and sad whenever he wandered off.

“Can I play if you can see me?” Luke dared to ask.
“Okay.” His dad, softly luke, was surprised, “Stay where we can see each other.”

Luke smiled though and ran off stopping next to a Mirialan boy with beautiful green skin and a human boy with brown skin and long black hair tied in complicated knots.
“Who are you?” The Boy said.
“I’m Luke.” He said, holding out a hand to him.
“That's cool, you know how to play chase & Catch?”
Luke shook his head.
“So how it works is one of us is it and has to catch everyone else by touching them, if they get touched they have to sit in place.”
Luke nodded.
“Last person to not be touched wins!”The boy exclaimed.

A gaggle of about six more kids cheered and they all spread out.

Luke slid behind a tree keeping a watch on the others. Most of them were sitting on the ground. Excitement sat in his body, warm and bubbly. His excitement overwhelmed him when he saw a rock next to him started to float. All his good emotions changed at that moment.

“Ah, a little one so strong in the Force. Could be interesting.” Luke heard the powering of a lightsaber and he felt many dark emotions at once.

The inquisitor led Luke deeper into the woods. Luke tried to muster bravery but all he wanted was his dad to be there. He closed his eyes trying to send his fear to his buir. They dragged him back and he was surprised as he fell to the ground and he spun over, looking up he saw a blue blade pointed at the back of the neck of the inquisitor.

“Not only a youngling but a full-on Jedi. Impressive I wasn’t expecting someone like you. Though isn't he a little young to be a padawan?”
“Aren’t you a little too weak to be an inquisitor?” his dad snapped back
“I am not weak, it is those Jedi like you who run who are weak.”
“We’ll see”

The inquisitor spun before his dad could deal the killing blow. Before Luke could comprehend what was going on the blades were locked in combat.

His dad moved gracefully with a solid presence in Force. It looked like his dad had her on the ropes when her sabre began to spin at such a face pace his dad was having trouble blocking the strikes.

A few moments passed that felt like years till the lightsaber fell from the attackers hand Her father had cut the weapon in half at the grip.

The inquisitor was on her back on the ground.

His father had a mask of indifference on his face and then a horrible noise sounded for a split second and hand was no longer attached to her body. She was screaming curses as his dad took the other hand off with a trike. He took a com from her arm and smashed it.

“Come now.” His dad said, holding out his hand.

Luke snuggled close to his father as they walked. Trying to block out the pain and fear that came as loud as her screams.
~~~~~
“We have our own room,” Luke said when they were settled on transport.
“Luke please listen to me.” He said, grabbing Luke’s hand, their eyes locked together. “Don’t ever go where I can't see you. You could have been killed.”
Luke nodded
“I don’t think they were after us because of who we are. Was too surprised and excited to have been hunting us. Kark it! I should never have let you play. You stay with me for a reason.”
“Because next to you is the safest place in the whole galaxy”
“Exactly so stay in my line of sight”
“Got it, dad.” Luke shrugged. He tried not to show how afraid he was, it would only make his dad more afraid. But it was hard. He kept feeling the darkness and cold.

Luke laid down and waited. He shut his eyes trying to banish the feeling of fear and some kind of guilt for disobeying his dad.

He could hear his dad's breathing even and strong but he stopped when he heard his dad’s breath hitch.

“Yes Qui-Gon, I've been training him. Just like you asked.”
A pause
“Yes I've been meditating, and yes I can feel the Force better now.”
His dad chuckled.
“No, I didn't realise that you can hold your identity in the Force. You being here didn’t show me that.”
“Yes I know he’s awake.”

Luke shuffled back on his bunk.
“So what do you think of my luke?” His dad stood up pulling Luke off the bunk and kissed his hair.
“Hey!” Luke cried as his dad sat on the lower bunk next to him.
“Hello, youngling.” A strong and clear voice said Luke whipped his head around looking for the source of the voice.
“Hello?”
“I’m your grandmaster Qui-Gon.”
“He’s not just a padawan?” Obi-Wan said, sounding hurt.
“You are training him are you not?” Qui-Gon’s voice was warm with laughter
“I suppose.” Obi-Wan grimaced.
“So that makes me his grandmaster.” Qui-Gon sounded pleased, “So little one, how is the training?”
Luke blinked, Qui-Gon was dead! His dad had told him he’d been killed by a sith. “You’re dead.”
“There is no death, there is the Force,” Qui-Gon said.
Luke nodded he knew that one, “Yes Dad told me that.”
“Well, I'm here as part of the Force.”
“Wizard.”
His dad pulled him in with one arm kissing his hair again.
“Your Obi-Wan loves you very much, sorry ben I believe is the name he uses now.”
“Well the other one is a bit noticeable.” his dad explained.
“Yes, your dad was quite famous back in his day.” Qui-Gon’s voice managed to sound exactly like an exasperated expression.
“I didn’t ask for it.” His dad defended.
“Well, I came here to check on the training and remind you that you must do your best, both of you. You all have a great destiny to accomplish. And much to learn.”
“Destiny?” Luke muttered.
“You have a great destiny in the galaxy,” Qui-Gon explained.
His dad tensed next to him and he could feel anger coming off his dad before he pulled it back.
“Thank You, Qui-Gon we can talk again whenever your Force timer goes off.”

The voice went quiet and he could feel the presence shift in the room.
“Well, what do you think?” His dad asked, turning to look down at him.
Luke pushed back so he could look his dad in the face, “What did he mean by destiny”
His dad’s expression was deeply painful, “Qui-Gon believes you will have a part to play in helping save the galaxy.”
“From the inquisitors?”
“The empire in general.”
Luke creased his bro tightly, “Okay. I can do it.”
He had to if it was his destiny. His dad brought him into his arms so his head laid on his dad’s shoulder.
“You’re six. You need to focus on being safe. Let the adults keep you safe.”
“For now,” Luke said, unsure where that came from.
His dad said nothing so they sat together until they both fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

It was Luke’s seventh birthday and Obi-Wan wanted to cry as he noticed the bright smile on his face. He hated what he was about to do.

“Ad’ika come here.” Obi-Wan held his hand out. “I have a present and then something we need to talk about.”

Luke came over. Obi-Wan presented him with a brown robe that was just like his.

“Cool Buir, thank you.” He said smiling, pulling it over his long sleeve shirt and pants.

“You look just like a Jedi youngling.”

“Wizard!”

God every time Luke said that he imagined a young Anakin.

“Ad’ika I need to tell you something.”

Why had he decided it would be good to tell him now? He didn’t even remember thinking about it just knowing when he woke up now was the time.

“I told you that when your mother died I took you with me to keep you safe?”

“You said she died having me and my sister.”

Obi-Wan nodded, “Well I haven't told you the whole truth.”

“You know more about my sister?” Luke perked up looking away from the fabric of the robe.

“No, I’m not your father by blood.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know how everyone has a mom and a dad?”

Luke nodded.

“Well your original dad, he died. So I had to take you in.”

“I’m not yours. You just had to take me?” Luke sounded devastated, flinching slightly away, eyes large.

“No, Ad’ika. I wanted you.”

Luke shook his head and backed away from Obi-Wan before turning and rushing out the door of the small hotel room. Obi-Wan watched him stand in the doorway before slamming the door shut with a combination of the Force and his foot. It was a good show of his natural ability Obi-Wan thought numbly. He should have known Luke wouldn’t be old enough to understand, but somehow waiting till he was even older felt worse. Maybe he should have told him beforehand, just let him always know? But that hadn’t seemed like an idea at the time he’d wanted Luke to not be confused and not mess it up when talking to someone. But then all he would have had to do was not tell him it was Anakin who was his dad that would have been enough. Force, karck, blast it. He was such a fool , and an idiot he didn’t deserve to take care of Luke.

Before he could spiral more the door opened and Luke stood there the new robe was wrapped around him with the hood up.

“You just ended up with me. ‘cause I don't have a mom an’ dad.”

“No Ad’ika I need to understand me. I love you, and I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you. I wish you got to have parents like everybody else but I would never, ever have wanted to not be with you.” Obi-Wan explained racing into himself to find peace, keeping his trembling at bay.

“You promise you would have wanted me?”

“I promise”

“You love me for real?” Luke asked, “You talk about all these people you cared about. And all these adventures. You love me like them?”

“Of course” He tried to project his feelings across the room, his love and some kind of calmness. 

 “You wouldn’t give me up if you could?”

“Never Luke, never.”

“You chose to take care of me because you wanted me?”

“Yes.”

“We are connected in the Force,” Luke said, his arms crossed in his sleeves mimicking a Jedi master very well.

“Yes we are, have been since I carried you to Tatooine.”

“I know you love me. I can feel it. It feels like how I feel about you. But sad.”

“It’s sad because I have lost a lot. But you are my little beacon of light dear one. I will always love you” 

Obi-Wan held out his arms and to his relief, his son came rushing to him. He needed Luke to know he was loved and wanted, Anakin hadn’t known how much he’d been loved and spent too much time thinking Obi-Wan only cared about him because Qui-Gon had left him his training. But just because the circumstances that had brought the Skywalkers to him had been painful it didn’t mean Obi-Wan didn’t care for them. 

“Can I still call you dad?”

“Of course. I love being your dad, even if I'm not your only dad.”

Luke pulled back, knocking his hood back. His face was streaked with tears and snot. “I think my first dad can be my father. And you are my buir and dad.”

“Sounds good.”

“I don’t get to know who he is, do I?” Luke mumbled.

“I’m sorry, no.” Obi-Wan braced himself for Luke to push him away again but his blue eyes just met Obi-Wan's still shining with tears. “I’m so sorry Dad. That you are so alone.”

“Oh, my son.” Obi-wan felt his eyes sting with tears. “You needn't worry about any of that. I have you okay?”

“We have each other.”

“Exactly”

Obi-Wan thought of the version of the Jedi code, emotions yet peace. And he understood it in a whole new way. Because holding Luke he felt a kind of peace. Because they could move on, this didn’t break anything.

~~~~~

Luke was practising running up an abandoned building that made up a half-finished settlement at the top of a hill. around the window. As close to carefree as he could get. Obi-Wan sat cross-legged breathing in the warm air and feeling everything around him. Trying to keep himself balanced in the space between letting himself connect to the Force and keeping something to himself. To truly be one with the Force as Qui-Gon had instructed, as he had been able to before he still worried it might be too much, might get him noticed. 

It was also a good idea to keep his emotions to himself and not let them seep out too strongly. He had not been good enough at this the first few years with Luke, he worried he had harmed the boy. The training, the running, the impermanence was enough to make any kid stressed, he’d lived that life from 13 and it had been hard enough. But Luke lacked the home to return to, and more so lacked the masters with control and grace in the Force. Obi-Wan was one person and he had lost his ability to be calm in the storm for Luke. 

Obi-Wan shook his head and let go of his thoughts, feeling the reverberations of the world the trees the bugs crawling around the feral tooka’s of some kind scampering the city block. Even the thrum of the traffic of the city down the hill.

He was glad to not be caught off guard when he felt Luke move towards him. 

“Dad, you'll never believe it! I jumped three stories!”

“Did you now?” Obi-Wan said not opening his eyes.

“Aren’t you proud of me?” 

Opening his eyes he was glad to see a teasing look on his Ad’ika’s face, only a small degree of apprehension sat in his eyes. 

“Of course. Could you feel the Force as you did the exercise?”

“I think so. It was like this swish around me but it moved along with being solid under my feet?”

“Very good.”

“Do we have water?”

“Of course, dear one.”

They moved with purpose to the packs placed behind obi-Wan. Sitting by the bag they pulled out the cantiness and drank. Obi-Wan smiled brightly as his son pulled his toy from the side of the bag and held it in his fist.

Luke seemed to notice he was watching and scowled. “It’s mine isn’t it?”

The shift in the child’s mood caught him off guard. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I want to be a Jedi.”

“Okay.”

“But you also told me to be a kid right?”

“Of course.”

“So I get to keep it right?”

“Have I taken it away?”

“No”

“I have no intention to. We don’t have a lot, and I can't talk about attachment to things. I still repair my cloak from when you were a baby.”

“Was my grandmaster right?”

“About?”

“Destiny...was he right?”

“Where is this coming from?”

Luke shrugged his small shoulders and looked at his toy.

“You do not have to worry about that. You are but a youngling, it’s my job to protect you, and help you learn what you need to survive as a Jedi.”

“But...”

“You’re about seven standard. I don’t think it’s really important to think about destiny right now.”

Luke nodded and leaned into Obi-Wan closing his eyes. The child calmed in the Force and Obi-Wan let out a breath. Blast it, Qui-Gon. Being the chosen one, it had torn at Anakin now the same would hurt his son. He remembered holding Qui-Gon as he died telling him to train Anakin, and now his spirit telling him to train Luke. The man who had been the closest thing he had to a father. Even if he couldn’t be his father, Qui-Gon was absolutely family, someone he had loved. Close family. The only other people as close were Anakin and now Luke. He’d had more though he’d had his brothers and sisters on the council, the ones who raised him in the creche and of course Ahsoka. 

Damn Ahsoka, he thought of the bright youngling her montrails and lekku so small. He should have thought about that. Of course Luke wasn’t that old yet, he wasn’t even the age of Anakin when Obi-Wan had taken him on, but he would be soon. And he could see the similarities in them and it was going to kill him one day, these people he loved.

~~~~~

“Luke, you need to calm down, you are going to bring someone over here,” Obi-Wan instructed. He wasn’t even sure what they had been talking about but now the boy was screaming a combination of every curse he’d ever heard.

“Shut up, I wish my father was here, he'd understand me,” Luke yelled and ran away ducking under a table at the edge of the cafeteria of the spaceport. Obi-Wan barely registered that Luke had stayed where Obi-Wan could easily feel him in the bond and see him when people parted. But most of him was playing over the words of how he wanted his father. What they’d agreed his real dad’s name would be. Anakin, well he wasn’t wrong Anakin likely would understand something Obi-Wan couldn’t. And Obi-Wan tried very well to not be hurt by this because he needn’t be Luke at seven he’d been a surprisingly well-behaved child even in the early years all those who raised the initiates complained about. He was do a little temper tantrum, not to mention it had hurt luke to know Obi-Wan hadn’t told him the truth, and to know how much family he would never know 

Obi-wan’s head was full of the burning body of Anakin, no Darth Vader , no Force. It didn’t make any sense. All he knew was he had karked up and he had no idea what he would ever do about it but for right now he should probably go get Luke.

He bent down next to the kid who had his tooka bit by the ear as he had as a baby and tears standing in his eyes 

Luke let it go and stared up at Obi-Wan, “I do wish I had my father.”

“And that’s okay Ad’ika, I miss him too.”

An expression of derision passed over Luke but he said nothing. The emotions around him seemed to move in waves the strong feelings stirring in this poor child 

“Please come we can’t miss our transport”

Thankfully hand met hand and luke slid on his smaller pack and they got to the transport luke still looking sad

That night they sat on the bunk beds luke on top as he liked. Obi-Wan tried to meditate but the agitation coming off Luke made him want to just make it better but he couldn’t. This wasn’t something he could teach away, give him medicine or even cut with a lightsaber 

To Obi-Wan’s surprise, the agitation washed away to something a little too much like grief for Obi-Wan's taste and Luke jumped slightly from the top and crawled into Obi-Wan's arms. Thoughts of loneliness screamed through their bond, such sadness, The word Buir flowed through their bond. Luke was so frightened of being alone.

“I love you buir”

“I love you too Ad’ika”

Oh, how he wished he could take Luke's pain away. But all he could do was be there for him. And he just had to hope that would be enough.

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke woke in his dad’s arms it was the night his dad was murmuring in his sleep and it didn’t sound very good

Sitting up, Luke scrubbed his eyes. He didn’t like it when his dad was so sad. He still felt all confused and upset with him for not telling him he had another dad, a father. It made him sad that his dad hadn’t thought he could understand he was a little-little youngling anymore. Or maybe his dad thought Luke wouldn’t like him anymore. Of course Luke loved his dad, he was his Buir, he was important. Luke had never had anyone else, and his dad promised that even if his father had lived he would still have wanted to be with him. 

And Luke did believe his dad loved him, that wasn’t really what made him upset. What made him angry was that he didn’t get to have all of them. He couldn’t have his sister, his mother, his father or get to know any of the Jedi like Master Windu or Ahsoka. Luke wanted all of them. And he wished his dad could tell him the truth. 

And more so that whatever made his dad scared and sad would just go away. His dad was alway scared, and fuzzy and shaky. He didn’t deserve it. 

He knew The Emperor and Vader were part of the problem but his dad never explained the end. He told him about the war but not exactly how it ended. He’d put together that the sith had killed a lot of the Jedi like they’d killed Anakin and probably his dad’s soldiers too. But he didn’t know the rest of it. 

The holoprojector on the bedside table lit up and his dad sat up roughly banging his head on the top bunk.

A broadcast of news played. Something about a conflict in a sector luke didn’t recognize trying to break up some sort of resistance. 

Luke turned to see his dad who looked tired but not too worried. But his eyes started to glass over and Luke turned back, Darth Vader and The Emperor stood in front of the empire flag making a pronouncement about the futility of resisting and the greatness of the empire. 

Intense nausea rolled through him the memory of his dad saying his grandmaster believed he was meant to stop the empire. He wanted to, but it seemed so big.  

The holoprojector blinked off the cabin and turned back to the dim light. 

“You okay Buir?” Luke asked, turning to hold his dad's hand which shook slightly. 

“Yes. I’m okay.”

“Vader can’t hurt us here.”

His dad gave him a sad smile, “Sure Ad’ika.”

“No, I mean he’s far away.” Luke shook his head, this was simple. He knew his dad was afraid and Vader made him sad because he’d killed so many Jedi. but he didn’t have to be scared.

“Yes, dear one I know that...I’m just remembering.”

Luke nodded, laying back down unsure what to do. He didn’t know how to help.

~~~~~

Luke sat nervously next to his dad who was currently throwing up in the fresher. He looked bad. In his seven years of life Luke had never seen his dad get sick like this and he for one did not like it. 

“Dad please, maybe a healer can help?” He knew they’d never seen one for what luke could remember

“Not safe”

“Please?”

“...Okay.” 

“Okay?” Luke had expected his dad to fight longer. If something was deemed not safe they generally did not do it even if Luke didn’t understand.

His dad sighed and they went from the apartment. His dad stumbled slightly. They walked through the crowded streets till they found a building with a sign with the symbol for a healer. 

Going inside a healer came over and took down their name, which was lars that day, and they went to sit. In what was thankfully not that long a time they were led to a small room.

A scanner beeped as the healer, a blue Rodian went over his father from his throat down to his stomach.

“This might hurt.” The healer said, pulling a small device out and pricking his dad's finger. His dad didn’t even flinch, his eyes glassed over, and his skin sweaty and grey.

Another device ran across his forehead and the doctor frowned slightly. 

“You have an infection and it’s caused Gastritis, pretty severe. I can give you an antibacterial shot which should help your body push through in a few days. I would suggest you pick up something to calm the stomach as well. Plenty of over the counter medications that can treat vomiting. Some electrolyte drinks as well.”

“I have to administer this medication. Youngling, can you step outside?”

“Oh yes.” Luke stood right outside, but he stood close enough he could hear.

“We work on a sliding scale here so you shouldn’t be bankrupted, but if you don’t think you can afford the other suggestions I would go two blocks north and look for a building with a rose on it. They have a stockpile of basic medical supplies and food as well.”

“Okay.”

“You both look unwell and you're not from around here. Human biology.” The Rodian shook her head.

“Thank you.”

A few sounds came out indicating movement. And then the noise ended. Both of them felt uneasy as they were led out.

His father still stumbled under the weight of his bag. Halfway there his dad stopped and threw up again. 

But when they did get there a Rodian who looked pretty similar to the healer.

“Hello. Did My sister the healer send you my way?”

They both nodded.

“Lovely I’m Trivisk Para. We have plenty of space to spend a few days till you're well again.”

Going in they were led to a room with groups of sick people who all looked similar to them in travelling clothes with big packs. They sat on the mat closest to the door where they could see the whole space and track comings and goings. A bottle of purple drink and a box from a store that he assumed must be medications. He couldn’t read in any language, even basic, so he was deeply glad he hadn’t been sent to get the medication. 

His dad was apprehensive of taking either of them. But his emotions calmed from the static and into a relative calm. 

“Well guess it’s better than not being able to help at all,” Obi-Wan muttered as he drank down the medication.

Luke sat against the window; they were close enough to a spaceport he could watch ships come and go. Street lights and thrusters blocking out the starlight. He wished he could fly then he would never be stranded and could go anywhere they wanted. His dad could fly so he held out hope when he was old enough he would teach him. 

But more than anything he needed to know how to shoot or blaster or better yet use a lightsaber. He knew his dad had two, he'd seen him staring at the other one. Luke knew it belonged to one of the Jedi his dad had lost. 

He glanced back down at his dad who was sniffling a bit in his sleep skin slick with sweat. They would need to find a river to clean his clothes in. You could only stay in clothes that were sweaty for so long before your skins started to break out in hives. 

Luke noticed the kid in the mat next to him crawled over to him.

“I’m Thomasin.” She said her thick straight black hair hung to her waist, skin a light shade of brown with small deep black eyes.

“Luke.” He said. 

Another kid crawled over from the third mat.

“Kent.” a Rodian boy announced, “Watching The ships?”

“Yes.” Luke and Thomasin said at once.

Thomasin coughed harshly.

“I hope whatever I have isn’t contagious.” She mumbled to herself.

“I doubt the doctor would have sent you here if you were. I’ve been here for a week and I heard the owner talking with his sister and she cried because they couldn’t send one family who had a sibling with some kind of contagious cough worried it would get us sick.” Kent explained.

“Well, that’s good. My dad’s been puking his guts up for days. It would suck if the rest of you got that.”

“You from anywhere close?” Thomasin asked.

“Well, I'm from Corelia,” Kent explained.

“How’d you end up out here? That’s a core world we’re on Kimji?”

“I know that.” He said indignantly, “There was unrest and my mom ran into trouble with bounty hunters.”

“Sorry about that.” Thomasin said then turned to Luke, “You?”

Luke thought he knew he was on Tatooine as a baby, “Tatooine.”

“So one hell hole to another. That makes sense.” She laughed.

Luke frowned but said nothing.

She let out a breath laying her head on the cool window panel. “I want to leave here and I'm from here.”

“I’m sure you will,” Luke said.

On the fifth day, His dad felt well enough to leave.

“Thank you,” He said to Trivisk, “How much is it for staying here.”

“No sir, I don't take money for helping others. I can’t, everyone who comes through here is going through hard times.”

“How do you know I'm not faking?”

“The way you both move, your bags, and I just I don't know everything about you.”

His dad seemed pleased and nodded his understanding and they left. “Let’s catch a transport out of here, then we have to focus on your training.”

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan meditated with Anakin’s lightsaber in his hands. He might not have psychometry like Vos had but he could feel the hate, fear and purpose coursing through the kyber crystal. And the feelings brought back memories of those final days of the republic. The image of soldiers and Vader slaughtering the Jedi younglings came rushing into him stronger then was possible he’d only seen it in holo. It bled into the fight on Mustafar in such pain. 

But he focused on that time, on how he’d had so hard to try to let go of Anakin and he pressed forward. Trying To imagine the peace of the garden of the temple, the happy younglings training, Luke grinning up at him under his cloak. Everything that was bright and good in the world. It was hard but he let the darkness pass through him and directed peace into the blade. 

And he did this every night for four days before he picked it up and felt warmth, but the purpose was left. It seemed the blade was determined and that was never going to change. But it no longer oozed pain. 

It would be Luke's now. He was young to have his own, but after being sick he had realised even more that Luke had to be able to protect himself, and it wasn’t like younglings didn’t learn katas. They would just have to be careful no one lost any fingers or toes.

~~~~~

On Luke’s eighth birthday Obi-Wan sat up with the sabre in his lap. The warm air helped him stay in the moment. Luke woke up and came towards his dad with a sleepy smile. 

“It’s my birthday,” he said, slightly slurred with sleep.

“It is and I have a gift for you.”

“That’s a lightsaber!”

“Yes, it is.”

“Whose?”

“It was your fathers before he died.”

“Wizard!” Luke cheers, taking it into his hands. He ignited it and Obi-Wan had to lean out of the range of the blade.

“It’s not a toy.”

“I know dad.” Luke shrugged, retracting the blade.

“I’m going to start teaching you the basics, Shii-Cho or form I.”

Luke nodded.

“But considering it’s your birthday, I suppose you have your questions.”

Luke beamed sitting on the floor of the abandoned farm on Kimji.

“Okay, so where were my parents from?”

“Your mother was from Naboo, I told you about how I and Anakin saved it once, didn't I?”

“Yup! I love that story. It’s sad because my grandmaster died, but I still think it’s a good one ‘cause you get to save the day!”

Obi-Wan nodded, “And your father, well he’s from Tatooine.”

“Anakin is my dad,” Luke said suddenly.

“Yes.” Obi-Wan nodded. So that was that. Still not very good though. Now he knew something, something others could use if they found out. And his son could get hurt.

“And your mother was Padmé Amidala.”

 Luke had tears in his eyes. “You were friends with my dad.”

“Of course. Anakin was like my brother.”

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me? That’s a good thing right?”

“If they know, anyone knows you could get hurt.”

“So I don't tell anyone.” Luke shrugged as if this was obvious.

“Others can pull information from your head, or even read it without trying.”

“So I don't let them.”

“You’re strong in the Force but it takes training to shield one's mind.”

“Well, teach me!”

“I will.”

“If Anakin is my father then that means I have three awesome parents,” Luke said, getting to his feet.

“Well, I don't know about that. But Anakin and Padmé were definitely awesome.”

“This is great. I’m mad you didn’t tell me. But I'm still so excited!” Luke was jumping up and down. Obi-Wan wasn’t entirely sure what about this had him so excited. But he was just glad he wasn’t watching the poor boy cry.

“Who killed him?” Luke asked Obi-Wan, eyes snapping.

“Luke,” Obi-Wan sighed

“You told me Anakin was killed. Which one?”

“Luke...”

“Don’t lie to me... please,” Luke begged

“Darth Vader.”

“Oh, he killed your brother. Of course, that’s why he hurts you so much.”

Obi-Wan was floored that Luke was worried about him. He’d just learned who his father was and that he’d been killed. But the boy was worried about Obi-Wan .

“I’m sorry. Ad’ika. That I didn't tell you. I truly thought it was for the best.”

“I know you did.” Luke said, “You just make bad choices.”

Obi-Wan laughed at this, well Luke wasn’t wrong about that.

“But now that I asked my questions. That means I get to learn about my lightsabre right?

“Yes.” 

Standing in the open mouth of a cave that was across from their house offered the best place to stay. It was hot but at least out of the bracing sun. It was one of the few places of shelter outside of the small set of ramshackle buildings that made up the settlements. 

“First we must fix the length of your sabre” Obi-Wan Knelt in front of his Ad’ika and adjust the length till it was a proper height for a youngling from the length used by his rather tall father.

Luke vibrated and his Force signature was shown brightly. “Okay, my Ad’ika I think you're good.”

“Wizard!” Luke said again.

“Shii-Cho or Form I is the earliest form of lightsaber combat. It covers basic strikes and parries.”

“So it’s the oldest. From when they built lightsabers?”

“Yes, when the Jedi first switched to lightsabers from classic swords this was what they came up with to handle the movement of the blades of a lightsaber and the best strike zones. I will walk you through the first Kata.”

~~~~~

They walked into a store and Obi-Wan trusted Luke to go grab a list of first aid supplies. 

“Hey, Buir,” Luke said as he yanked on Obi-Wan’s robe.

“Yes, dear one.”

“I can’t get what you told me too”

“Oh are they out?” He said absentmindedly as he decided his choice of ration packs.

“No. Dad. I can’t read”

Obi-wan froze, had he really not taught Luke to read? The boy was eight years old.

“Oh. Well stay with me, I'll grab it.”

They walked back to where they were staying and Obi-Wan worried what else he would have forgotten. He supposed Luke did know how to fix droids from his work and he was learning the Jedi arts. But reading had slipped his mind. Possibly as he had no data pads or anything Luke would have tried to read. Obi-Wan should have thought of it though. He’d helped Anakin get good at basic, but even then he’d had the teachers of the temple to help him. And Anakin had already known some of the fundamentals and could read in Huttese pretty well.

But Luke needed to know the basics reading was one of those basic skills

~~~~~

Obi-Wan and Luke caught a ride on a scrappers ship that was taking passengers on the down-low. Perfect for them they didn’t even have to register. The bad part was that they ended up on Jakku. A place that made Tatooine look like a metropolis. 

But it did give obi-wan sand where he could write out the basic alphabet.

Luke grand complained he would rather be practising even his meditation than this.

It took a lot of time. But Luke eventually got to know the alphabet in order after a few days. They set aside time after midday meal but before they began their afternoon sabre training.

~~~~~

After running through some Katas which while coming along well were gruelling. They ended practising parrying bolts. Luke enjoyed knocking things around with his lightsaber. And really who could blame him?

Luke was good at it too. Obi-Wan had recently acquired a training droid. The small round ones that shot harmless plasma bolts. Finding a functional one on Jakku was not what he was expecting, but then again trade in useless things made of metal was what Jakku was about. 

So Luke stood in their cave with his tunic belt tied around his eyes knocking back blaster bolts set at medium speed. The first few tires Luke had done terribly but now he was moving like a padawan and it made Obi-Wan smile. 

As he watched correcting Luke's form every now and again he felt a shift in the Force. And it was a good one. 

“La’ara?” Obi-Wan said, grabbing the droid and turning it off.

Luke pulled his blindfold down. “Who?”

“I suppose you wouldn’t remember her.” Though why she of all people to meet unplanned three times the Force only knew.

“Is she a friend?”

“Well as of last time we talked yes. Would you like to go see her?”

“Sure.”

They stashed Anakin's sabre and the training bolt in their bags and went down to the ship depo. Obi-Wan didn’t really recognise the ship but the woman who got out he did. 

“Hey, it's Ben!” La’ara cheered.

“Good to see you,” He said, feeling a real smile spread across his face. 

“Kriff, your boy is big.” 

Obi-Wan felt Luke pull his hand back as he moved behind Obi-Wan. 

“You okay little Luke?” La’ara asked.“Alema, Mom, Bialla it’s Ben and Luke” 

She jumped from the back of the ship with a big grin on her face.

The other three came down two carrying cases. 

“Where are you two staying?”Mom Acroum said.

“Just outside of town,” Obi-Wan explained.

“What counts as a town on this dust ball,” Bialla grumbled leaning on the edge of the ship.

“What kind of ship is this?” Luke asked quietly. 

“It’s a Light freighter. We call her Star Runner. And the shuttle is the comet” Alema said, her eyes lighting up, “She’s my baby even more than she’s La’ara’s.”

“I like to think of her as the family's ship. ” La’ara said, patting the hull.

A shiny R3 unit came rolling down the ramp with a black and blue colour scheme.

“This is R3-S3. We call him Arrthree. Got him salvaged from a republic ship that got decommissioned. ” Bialla said.

Luke shifted to Obi-Wan’s side and looked up. Obi-Wan could feel the mix of excitement and apprehension. 

“You can go see the droid if they let you.”

“Of course. Can you speak binary?” Bialla asked with a soft smile.

Luke nodded his head, “I help fix droids. Dad and I will work on them for credits.”

“Do you speak binary?” Bialla asked Obi-wan. 

“I’ve picked up some of it since I've been working on droids. My... brother always handled that for me during the war.” Kriff he’d just decided these people would know Anakin as his brother, and only his brother because he couldn’t say Anakin to them without giving away he knew the ‘hero with no fear’.

“Why don’t you two look over the droid on the ship while we get our shipment to our contact?”

“Thank you.” Obi-Wan agreed.

“We have water this time.” La’ara joked pushing the hovercraft over towards a station.

Obi-wan and Luke sat in the common area on the ship, Luke asking the droid to show him everything he could do.

“Father had an R2 right.”

“Ahsoka called him artooie.”

“Wizard,” Luke said, crawling onto the bench laying into Obi-Wan's side.

A while passed just sitting like that before La’ara bounded onto the ship.

“Kriff you two look tired.” She said with a lopsided grin, “We were gonna drink to our success but you two can take a room. There are six cabins so two of them are empty, share or sleep separately either way is fine. Unless we ever pick anyone else up for some reason then you have to share.”

“We can’t impose,” Obi-Wan said 

“I want you to,” She countered, “We walked around and the places on the edge of what we are generously calling a town do not look better than this ship. And here we have candy.”

Luke perked up, “Candy?”

“Candy”

“Osik, now I have to stay.”

“Oh what kinda curse that is.”

“Mando’a”

“Oh, I know good insults. E chu ta! Sleemo, osik'la, Beesga, Kung, Loca!'' Luke chanted blinding in the Force due to his sincere excitement. 

“Who taught you huttese?” 

“We’ve spent our fair share of time in Hutt controlled space,” Obi-Wan said but he felt his voice shift slightly, emotion colouring it. He wondered if she noticed “We recently did some time in the mid rim though.” 

“ Mursto ,” She said, eyes narrowing at Obi-Wan.

Ah, she had noticed, “My...my brother spoke it and I learned it from him. He was better at it than basic as a little kid. So I had to learn it well”

“Oh, where are you from?”

“My brother is from Tatooine. 

“If your brother...”

The other three women came onto the ship at that moment whooping about their new acquisition of alcohol.

“No.” Obi-Wan shook his head, “Not here.”

“Like I said you two can go sleep in the empty cabin and then we can all figure out something to do tonight,” La’aara said with a nod.

Obi-Wan obliged. He went into a room that had two bunks. Luke climbed to the top. 

“Wait, can I have my tooka?” He said leaning over the edge.

“Course you can, dear one. That was quite an impressive list of curses you had.”

“Those are the only some that I know.” Luke’s presence in the Force showed brightly the joy evident. 

“Maybe you can ask Alema for some new ones.”

“Wizard,” Luke said, flopping onto the mattress.

“Oh and Luke I'm not sure if you remember but they do know I'm a Jedi.”

“Oh cool,” Luke said, sounding drowsy.

Luke drifted into sleep. When Obi-Wan was sure he was deep enough that his moving wouldn’t wake the boy he moved to the common area and was hit with the smell of strong liquor.

“Hey Ben,” La’ara said, passing him a glass. “It’s the same stuff as last time so you should be safe.”

La’ara led him to the cockpit and they both sat looking across the sand storm. A period of time he lost track of two glasses in was broken by La’ara speaking 

“You could come with us.”

“We’re here to train,” Obi-Wan said.

“We have a pretty big cargo hold, you can do your lightsaber stuff there.”

“Well, where are you going?”

“We're gonna be here for a while waiting for two more contacts to bring out shipments. Should take two weeks. But you can come with us after.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you have two weeks.” She said with a grin on her face.

“So the huttese was your brother. Who's the Mando’a for because you are clearly not a Mando?”

“I did some work there for a while. Made some good friends.”

She nodded, “You said your brother was from Tatooine. Where’d you grow up?”

“Coursant, can’t you hear it?”

“Oh, I can tell you're a core worlder for sure. But don't worry, I like you anyway.”

“Qui-Gon, he made sure I understood what life was like outside of our bubble. All the work you do as a Jedi.” Obi-Wan shrugged.

“Well, what can you tell from my voice?”

“A blend of the mid and outer rim.”

She smiled, “I’m not really from anywhere to be fair. I’m like luke grew up on the road. Not for murder reasons but because my dad, may he rest in sith hell, was a trader on a bulk freighter and took me and mom with him. Mom had me real young at fifteen. Dad was already in his twenties I tease my mom but it wasn’t her fault. But if we treated like the fucking travesty it was I don’t think we could look each other in the eye.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not all bad. I have a family here. Family is the one who respects you as a person.”

“I agree. My brother wasn’t mine by blood but I love him.”

“Alema and Biallia are for all intents and purposes my sisters, and we aren’t even the same species.”

“That’s nice,” Obi-Wan said something other than the liquor, making him shake.

“Say something nice about him. It might make the grief better.”

“Best star pilot in the galaxy, best there ever was. He learned everything like a sponge but refused to use most of it much more of the kark around and find out type.”

“Sounds like my kind of kid”

“But when Qui-Gon died I took him in, we were a team from that point on.”

“Qui-Gon, is he your father?”

“ He was my master”

She looked horrified for a minute, “I...I didn’t. I wouldn’t have asked if I knew you had been...”

“Master means teacher to Jedi. He raised me for a long time.”

“Oh okay.” her cheeks flushed.

“He was like a father to me, closest I ever had at least”

“Then that’s how you remember him, and that’s what matters”

“Well, you are very perceptive.”

“Always have been”

“You feel so bright and warm in the Force, It’s like having a friend back.”

“I’m warm and bright?”

“Whatever has happened to you, you're bright and warm and strong like my old friends used to be.” He thought of people like Siri or Depa or Luminara. 

“I’m sorry?” She said, sounding very concerned.

“No, no it’s good.” But tears were rolling down his face.

“Yeah.” She held the bottle to her chest. “I have brownies. And don’t worry they’re not spice brownies.”

Obi-Wan choked on his drink, “Do you often have spice brownies?”

“Every now and again. Look, you're gonna tell me you never indulged?”

“As a teen. Padawans did have to have some fun. And honestly, Qui-Gon just laughed at me.”

“Yeah, my mom does drugs with me so I think I'm in the clear. But no, these are clean, I didn't want to get blasted with a kid around.”

“haryc b'aalyc'' Obi-Wan joked.

“What’s it mean?”

“Drunk. Literally tired and emotional.”

They wandered back into the main room and La’ara dropped next to her mom putting her feet on the table.

“We eat there,” Alema said, knocking the feet off with a sigh.

“I’ve done worse on the table.” Bialla said, “I got screwed by a really hot dockhand.”

“Oh Force, it's like talking to Vos.”

“Vos?” Mom Acroum asked.

“Old friend.”

“Well, I’m a new friend.” Bialla said, “And I'm entitled to the bad jokes as the designated sober person.”

They sat around eating the brownies in silence. The ambience was calming. But he did hate that he’d let his Force sense get dulled by the alcohol. He should have thought through that. He could still feel Luke but he might miss other shifts.

As the night wore on Obi-Wan decided to go to luke.

He got to his bunk and passed out.

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke got out of bed and shook his dad. His dad just turned over. So it was that kind of day Luke thought. He grabbed a ration bar from his dad’s bag.

As his brain woke up he realised he was on a real ship, an actual spaceship, and he wasn’t a passenger or as a stowaway, he was invited. He wanted to go explore so bad. He should at least be allowed to the fresher right?

Luke walked out of the fresher and looked around. Stepping back he ran into Alema.

“Sorry,” Luke said, stepping back.

“Wanna go see the cockpit?”

Luke nodded wide eyes taking her hand still holding the ration bar in his other.

Luke sat in the other seat and pulled his legs to his chest and watched as Alema explained how it worked.

“I’ll take you up in the comet if you want,” she said after finishing her primer on the basics.

“Only if my dad can come, I'm already almost too far from him. If I didn't know he trusts you I wouldn't even be out here. I’m supposed to stay usually where he can see me, and if not that where we can feel each other in the Force.”

“Ah, Jedi magic.” 

“My dad would not like to hear you call it magic.”

“Okay, the Force then,” Alema said slowly eyes searching over Lue like she was trying to find something

"Morning meal!” Bialla shouted, a smell like a gift from The Force floating in.

He sat with the four members of the crew.

“Half of this is made from rations but we have had actual stuff to cook with so now it tastes like real bread even if reconstituted.”

Luke nodded, biting into the bread which tasted decent, especially with the dipping porridge-like substance. 

“Would a thought a Jedi of all people would sleep the drink off?”

“I mean you did work pretty hard he reeks,” Luke said, remembering his father crashing to the bunk and the smell of liquor filling his nostrils. It had been weird to have it while inside and not in markets by cantinas.

“Sorry we shouldn't have let him get that drunk, La’ara said with honesty to her loose apologies. 

“What did you two talk about?” He turned to La’ara

“His brother mostly talked about his dad too.”

“You talked about Anakin and Qui-Gon. Do you need your processors cleaned?” Luke gasped, giving them all a despairing expression. “Who knows how long he'll be like this. I mean he’d done so well we went through Empire day and my birthday and nothing this bad”

“Luke Sweetheart, calm down.” Mom Arcoum took his hand.

“He does this a lot? Alema asked.

“Just sometimes. It also happened because he'll spend days with no sleep.”

“He needs a schedule,” Bialla said

The R3 unit chirped fervently, <droids need time for rest and maintenance too.>

“He says even droids need time for rest and maintenance.” Mom Acroum said.

“I can speak binary.” Luke sighed. Mom Acroum gave him a tired smile. She had dark brown skin that glowed with warmth and black eyes that snapped with life. Her curly hair was held in poofs at the back of her head.

“Eat, you'll feel better.” She nodded to the food.

Working through the food Luke felt better, go figure. But he still felt nervous.

“Billia will do a full screening of the exterior for maintenance. . Mama can go through provisions. Alema and ArrThree do work in the cockpit. Luke here will go with me to trade the last of our wares for portions.” La’ara announced.

They nodded and Luke trailed after her into the market. He could feel the surge in the force as the minute they entered what counted as a crowd on Jakku. Luke breathed deeply focusing on what he could control and trying to keep his emotions from spilling out. Notice the emotion and control it, not the other way around.

They had a bag that had been slung over her back that she dumped at a scrap depot. The assumed owner tossed her packs of what looked like a powder for reconstituted something. She gave him a two-finger salute and they returned. 

“How do you like Jakku?” She asked casually.

“Not my favourite. But good places to practice basic fighting.”

“Oh, you know how to shoot a blaster?”

“No. Dad doesn’t use Blasters. They’re dangerous and uncivilised.”

“How old are you?”

“Eight.” He said with a dismissive wave

“Hmm, I'll teach you.”

“If dad says it’s dangerous then it’s dangerous” Luke explained

“Well okay. But if you ever want to learn, even if it’s just to piss off your dad I'll show you how.”

Luke scrunched his nose but nodded. He didn’t like making his dad angry because it always came back to his dad being sad and getting all fuzzy. Lost inside and lost in the Force. 

There was a strong shift in the Force and Luke started. It went from a calm happy feeling to a harsh feeling, not anger but something he didn’t understand. He focused on La’ara and noticed her thoughts were spinning. She was hurting. Luke reached out a hand and took hers. He tried to push happy emotions her way like his dad did when Luke was upset. 

La’ara jumped, yanking her hand away.

“What did you just do?”

Luke stumbled she’s pushed back in the force and now his head hurt, “I was trying to help as my Buir does.”

“I’m sorry. Just shocked me, thank you for trying.”

They got back and Luke scrambled up the ramp already at the junction before it landed on the ground fully. He hadn’t realised how anxious he’d been till now he actually had the chance to check if his dad was okay. The bond wasn’t broken so he couldn’t be dead. He’d feel that right? There was nothing really wrong with him just having a bad day.

He got through the door and he saw his dad was looking about half awake drinking water.

“Buir.” Luke said softly, holding him in a hug.

“Ad’ika what's wrong?”

“I went with La’ara to the scarp depot I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay dear one.” He kissed Luke's hair

“I broke our rules.”

“I’m not angry, I promise. It was likely good they were here. I should've known better than to get into all of that when already weakened by alcohol.”

“You have to talk about them.” Luke said, “if you never talked about them wouldn’t that hurt too?”

“You're so wise for one so young.” Obi-Wan pulled him into his side in a tight one arm hug.

Luke had started to tell when his dad was trying to keep his emotions in check. It felt like a blast door in Obi-Wan's mind. The only emotions getting through were fragmented. Made him feel funny in the Force. 

“You said you’d teach me to do that. So other’s people thoughts won’t hurt, and they can’t get inside either.”

“Some of what I taught you when you were a very small boy were part of it. Recognizing and holding your emotions. Not letting them run wild. It’s the basic step to control.”

Luke nodded.

“Visualization is a decent place to start. Practice when meditating and pulling a door around your private thoughts and let the Force move slowly through you without disrupting it.”

“Okay.”

“Nothing, nothing more. I need...”

“To lay down.” Luke felt a tired smile crossing his lips. Didn’t need a Force bond to know that was what was coming.

“stay on the ship.”

“Okay, Buir.”

Luke was full of anxious energy so he walked around the ship avoiding the others. He was excited when he found the gun turret and he breathed and took it as a spot to meditate. 

He tried what he was told by his dad. Deep breaths. Feel the feelings. Tired, lonely, anxious, confused. And that is okay. It does not control me. He imagined the durasteel coming down. Only letting the Force move through him, not touching it, not dipping into it.  

His mind drifted to the cockpit of the ship how his father had been the greatest pilot in the galaxy. He wondered if his father would have taught him about flying. Taken him up into the stars and just been together. Come home to his mother, sister and his dad. The five of them could be a family, a really real family. Thinking back on his dad not telling him he was a skywalker as a kid, he couldn't muster anger which he thought he might have had. Because he was too busy aching for that family he couldn’t have. He wanted it to not have holes in him where his mother and sister should be. To have both his dad and father teaching him how to use the Force. He would be safe, and never lonely. 

It didn’t mean his dad wasn’t doing his best, and Luke loved him more than anything. He knew his dad wasn’t well in his head. He’d been through so much. Luke didn’t know how it happened, just that all the Jedi had died, and that it was the Emperor's fault. And that whatever had gone down it had been devastating, still was. So it makes sense his dad didn't always have it together, Luke didn’t blame him. But it was still hard, and if his mom and father were alive then maybe the Jedi would be more plentiful and his dad wouldn’t be so alone.

Mom Arcoum called to him, “Luke we got midday meal.”

“Go it” Luke called down.

Scrambling into the main room he saw a bunch of fruit laid out with a small amount of meat in front of Bialla.

“Togruta are carnivores,” she explained.

Luke nodded. He grabbed a sweet melon and bit into it the juices running down his face.

“What were you doing in the turret?”

“Meditating.”

“That Jedi stuff?” Bialla questioned biting into whatever animal she was eating.

“Yes. I have to meditate every day. Well most days, some I get away with not doing it if we get busy. I can’t do all the meditation stuff dad can do yet.”

“Mediating and doing things doesn’t that go against meditation?” La’ara asked.

“Well no it means you can be connected to the Force. Combat awareness is a form of meditation and it’s especially for fighting.”

“Neat!”Alema said. “The closest I ever got to Jedi were some that were resettling some other Twi'leks to our outpost.”

“Well, you're my first Jedi, the two of you. Honestly, you guys are somehow much better and also less impressive than I thought Jedi would be. But that might be because the first time I saw Ben I just saw a homeless family,” La’ara commented.

Luke felt a twinge in his heart at the term family. His dad, his Buir, was the only family he’d ever had. The rest of his family, his sister, father, mother were gone. And anyone else he might have had cousins or whatever weren’t an option not if he wanted them to stay safe. 

“Are you guys a family?” Luke asked.

“Of course.” Alema and Bialla said at once.

“Anyone who’s a part of my crew is my family. That’s what I’m about” La’ara said with an air of finality her strong emotion made his ears ring.

“I’ll teach you dejarik?” Mom Arcoum said after a moment passed.

“Sounds good.” Lue agreed.

~~~~~

As Alema took her turn cooking the evening meal the rest sat on the pull-down ramp with the crew and watched the stars, there was little wind so the sand didn’t block any of the views. 

Luke smiled when his father sat down pulling Luke into a hug from the back. 

“I’m sorry about today.” His dad said.

“No problem.” Luke said, “I had a nice day with everyone.”

“He’s a good kid.” Bialla praised

“Takes direction well.” Mom Arcoum said, “Taught him Dejarik in one afternoon, can’t beat me yet but he’ll get there.”

Luke felt his dad shift in the Force as he was more clear and happy and even if still tinged with sadness.

Luke’s evening meal was reconstituted bread with some kind of dipping sauce made from beans. 

“This is fantastic,” Luke said. Everything they ate on this ship was fantastic. 

“And we have chocolate for dessert,” Alema said pointing to a box.

They ate in companionable silence as he watched his dad work to focus on the food in front of him. 

~~~~~

A week passed in a flash. During the day his dad would take him to the cave where they would meditate, Luke would do some physical exercise, then they’d run through Katas. If his dad had the energy they would do reading lessons. Then they would come back and they would eat with the crew of the Star Runner. He and his dad always ended up on clean up duty to pay back for letting them stay, they weren’t required to but his dad said they had to help or they were imposing.

They’d then stay up and play games or watch holo dramas. The adults would drink and swap stories, most of them trying to out scandalize Lue. And well it worked. They talked about kissing and the like. 

Most nights his dad wouldn’t partake, instead going to his room to meditate. But tonight he decided to stay, even accepting sptochka. 

“Okay so” La’ara stood up, “the best date I ever had was when I went on a picnic with Kanjan. I know it was boring but what made it fun was that she took me on a shuttle that we weren't allowed to have and we ran out of fuel during the trip and had to be trackterd back.”

“Ben go!” Alema cheered.

“Well okay. Satine and I went skinny dipping right after running away from the other side of the war. Civil war kinda sucks but you can forget it in the sunset.”

“Aww,” Bialia says.

“Wait this Satine she your mother,” Alema asked Luke

“No.” Luke shook his head, “I know nothing about my mom or this lady.”

“Luke, you can ask about Satine. I never said you couldn’t do that.” His dad sounded tired.

“No, but I don't because I ask you anything about her and you become all confused and fuzzy.”

“I’m sorry.”

Luke felt this directionless anger. Because his dad did talk about Satine when Luke asked for stories with his grandmaster because he’d known her with Qui-Gon. But he’d never told her that they were a couple. Because everything that mattered he left out. Just like he’d had to do the to figure out his father was Anakin and then because his dad had said that Anakin was in love with Padmé he’d together she was his mom. And the galaxy had decided that both he and his dad deserved to suffer. 

“No, you're not! Because you were in love with her, and I know you weren’t in love with my mother even though you said that.” Luke said, standing on the bench yelling.

His dad looked taken aback but Luke was surprised when his face returned to neutral, “I am sorry Luke it is unfair of me to not always explain things. But to be honest some of this you are just too young.”

“I’m going to bed.” Luke said, "I promise not to run away dad I have nothing in this karking desert.”

“Why don’t we all go to bed.”Mom Arcoum said and he heard shuffling behind him as the door shut behind him.

He lay in bed seething. He knew it wasn’t fair to be mad at his dad for not being in love with Padme. But he just wanted a normal family. And if he was in love with this Satine, where was she? Maybe she could have been like a mom to him. 

Luke woke up the next morning not having noticed he'd fallen asleep. His dad wasn’t in the cabin. He decided to go about his morning. Went to the fresher, meditated, and then grabbed a bagel from the common room. Everyone was already spread out working on datapads or on the ship. 

La’ara came out of the cockpit and motioned to him to follow her. 

They got to the cargo hold and she sat down.

“I’m sorry your dad wasn’t in love with your mom.”

Luke flushed, “I shouldn't have yelled. He just doesn’t tell me stuff.”

“Look, I've seen kriffing awful dad’s yours isn’t one. Troubled, yes, probably annoying to you, but I do think he means well.”

“I know he means well. I just wish I could understand him. I can feel him. I know the basics but I still don’t always get it.”

“And you're allowed to be upset and confused, everyone gets that way. I for one am pro acting out.”

Luke grinned remembering her offer to teach him to shoot, “Wanna teach me to shoot a blaster?”

“Why not?” She shrugged. 

“Do you know where my dad is? I could feel him on the ship but not find him.”

“Did you check my cabin?” SHe asked.

Luke palled, what did them sharing a cabin mean?

“Oh Damn it, we weren't... blast it.” She scrunched her nose, “He was meditating in the common room and looked like he hadn't slept. Told him I'd keep you around the ship if he slept. That was less than an hour ago.”

“Oh good.”

“Your dad is nice and a good man but no, for one he is a man, and I go in for women. And second, I don't need anyone right now. I’m focusing on my mostly legal shipping.” She grinned at the end. “Anyway if we step outside we can shoot some bottles”. She grabbed some empty liquor bottles from the cargo hold and set them on the fence around the ship depo

She put her blaster in Luke's hand showing him how to hold it. She explained how to turn the safety

“Line up the sight with where you want to aim. Take in a breath and then squeeze the trigger.”

Luke did as he was told and went wildly to the left. He took a few more shots La’ara moving his arm back into place between shots.

“It’s okay kid it will take time.”

Luke thought about how learning to parry the bolts from the training doors was almost easier with his eyes closed.

“Let me try something,” Luke said, holding the blaster back up. He shut his eyes feeling for the bottles and got the location. He took in a breath and squeezed, he heard the bottle shatter and opened his eyes.

“Good to know you shoot better blind.” La’ara ruffled his hair. 

Luke felt his dad’s presence in the background and turned ready to be lectured.

“That was a good shot.” That was all his dad said moving to stand next to Luke, “Now you just have to do it consistently.”

“I thought you said that blasters were uncivilised,” Luke said, affecting his dad’s accent.

“They are.” His dad said, “But I should be more respectful, being able to shoot well is a useful skill and I trust your teacher. Force knows why but I do.”

“ouch,” La’ara said in mock offence he could feel her joy in the Force. “I bet you can’t even shoot.”

His dad held out his hand for the blaster, La’ara handed it over. 

His dad without much fuss shot the rest of the bottles down one after the other.

“I did kill a man with one of these.” His dad said.

Luke felt his eyes go wide. “Can I hear that story?”

“Remember Grievous?” He said quietly, cocking his eyebrow.

“Oh right..” Luke started but was cut off

“Even I know who that is. You killed him?” She then took her blaster back and raced into the ship.

Obi-Wan and Luke looked at each other confused but followed inside.

“Dank farrik!” they heard loudly reverberating in the ship.

Alema was standing in the loading bay.

“You killed General Grievous?”

“Yes... on Utapau,” His dad said cautiously.

“That's just really impressive,” Alema said “He invaded my planet.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” His dad said, gripping her arm lightly.

“Not all of my family got out and we can not go back.”

“You are always connected to your lost ones. There is no death, there is the Force.”

“What does that mean?” Alema asked, hugging herself tightly.

“It means that even in death those we love don't disappear. They move through the living Force into the cosmic Force. They stay one with all.”

“I like that.” She said, “It’s a good thought. Not sure it’s what I believe. But I appreciate your wisdom.”

Luke felt the Force shift into grief around him, but for once his Buir wasn’t the cause. Instead, his dad was stable in the emotional storm that whipped up around them. 

~~~~~

“We’ve gone through the Schii-Cho Katas and you’ve done well, your deflecting of the bolts has gone well too. It’s time we practice together don’t you think?” His dad said, tossing Luke his lightsaber.

They were in their training cave and Luke felt the Force sing around them, for his dad and him were on the same tune in the Force.

They took their ready stance and moved together. He knew his dad wasn’t really sparing but it didn’t matter much as he was only keeping Luke on his toes to learn which moves to use when. 

And Luke loved it. The movements of the blades were always exciting.

Suddenly his vision went black and then he saw himself running and he saw his dad’s blue blade clash against the red of an inquisitor. 

He came to on the ground. His dad looked worried above him.

“Vision?” His dad asks as if this was normal.

“Inquisitor here,” Luke muttered.

The moment he saw he felt his dad shift in the Force, harder and more solid than he had been before.

“Let’s move.”

They ran through the sand Luke’s eyes stung right before they could get to the Star Runner a ship flew overhead and an inquisitor dropped from the sky.

“Oh, dear lost little Jedi.” She shook her head

His dad ignited his blade, “Ad’ika run.” Luke stood wide-eyed staring at the lady as she squared off with his dad. Their blades crashed into each other sending a reverberation into the blowing sand.

They moved around each other blades crashing the inquisitor was hitting hard and with a stream of anger, Luke didn’t understand. His father returned none of the anger but he still felt strong and his blade didn’t yield. 

The word run rang in his head in his dad’s voice. Luke ran full tilt the short way to the Star Runner. La’ara was standing at the door with her hand out to Luke.

“You’re safe.” She said, pulling him into a hug.

Luke peered out watching the swishing of blades. But it abruptly stopped when he heard an awful noise of lightsabers hitting flesh and watched the twirling inquisitor's sabre hit the sand. His dad ran towards them and shouted.

“Take off.” 

La’ara relaid the order and the ship moved. Right as it lifted off the ground his dad hit the metal next to him and turned off the lightsaber. 

“So that's a bad Jedi,” La’ara said when the bay door closed.

“Inquisition. Acolytes of  Darth Vader .”

“Well. Guess you're stuck flying with us for now.” La’ara said with a tired smile helping his dad to his feet. “Welcome to the crew, Ben, Lue.”

“Thank you. You could have shoved Luke back out and shut the door. You don’t have to be involved with our Jedi banthashit”

“Well, I choose to be. You guys are fun to be around banthashit and all.”

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan followed La’ara up the front where Bialla was flying the ship.

“Anywhere we headed?” She asked.

“Away from Jakku?” Obi-Wan suggested

“Oh really?” Bialla said with a sarcastic smile, “I thought we were going back to what La’ara said was a “Karking evil Jedi”

“That’s not what they’re called,” Obi-Wan said

“I don’t care,” Bialla said. “Good news is I do have a heading of sorts, we received a shipment while you guys were off practising your Jedi magics. So we are going to go to Ques”

“That's not a nice planet,” Obi-Wan commented

“No, it's a swamp filled with scavengers. But it makes a fine waypoint to shift cargo between freighters which is all we need, it will take a while to get there though about three weeks standard. Good thing we planned ahead before even getting to Jakku.”

“Force help me,” Obi-Wan muttered.

La’ara grinned wickedly but then softened putting her hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, “Go sit with Luke.”

Obi-Wan obeyed and found Luke laying on their bunk, his stuffed tooka held tightly his eyes dripping tears.

“Ad’ika I’m here. Nothing will happen to you. You and I are together.” Obi-Wan informed him, pushing his son’s shaggy blond hair from his eyes.

“I don’t like inquisitors. They feel awful.”

“You’re right they do. But at least that one is out of commission for a bit.”

“But when we see them again...”

“I’ll do what I have to.”

“Would you have killed him, if you had the time?”

“Luke, I genuinely don’t know.”

“You killed the other ones.” Luke pointed out.

“For one they were better, and secondly we had nowhere to run to.”

“But isn’t killing them better? Then they can’t tell anyone anything.”

“You might be right. But taking a life is never good, it never leaves you.”

“But you kill. I mean you tried to kill Maul right?” 

“ You’re right I cut him in half and he fell down a tunnel. I truly thought him dead, death already hung in the Force with my master dying so I couldn't tell any difference. So I agree with you on one thing. If it comes to killing someone then you go for the head, like I did those inquisitors when you were young”

“That’s awful,” Luke said, tilting his head. 

Luke must be feeling the pain in me, the confusion Obi-Wan thought. He did not regret his actions, but Obi-Wan never wanted to end life. He had no other choice. He may not have grieved for Grievous, but he didn’t want to be someone who took a life without thought.

“Yes. Taking life is awful, when you are faced with the task I hope it does not haunt you.”

Luke recoiled slightly but said nothing.

“Enough of that, why don’t I tell you about a better story.”

“One without sith,” Luke suggested.

Obi-Wan suppressed a sardonic smile, had he ever been free of them? Had the plot not began even before he ever faced Maul? He often had thought about that time when he was knighted and how nothing had ever truly been right since then, even the good times, even questioned if he should have been the one to die and Qui-Gon raised Anakin. Now thinking about it he wondered again if that would have been better for everyone. 

“Okay” Obi-Wan agreed, sitting next to Luke who laid on his shoulder. 

But he wondered if he would be able to tell a better story when he should be dead.

~~~~~

Obi-Wan felt Alema come up to the door to their cabin as Luke and he tried to meditate. 

“Come in,” Obi-Wan said he felt Luke snap from his focus.

Alema stood in the front smiling, “We cleared out part of the hold so you too could do your training if we get to watch.”

“Are you ready to show off what we’ve learned the last few months?”

Luke’s eyes lit up but he blushed, Obi-Wan smiled back standing up.

Standing in the hold he tossed Luke his lightsaber and was so proud when Luke used the Force to catch it before it hit the ground.

“Why don’t we start with some sparring for our audience here?”

“But I can't fight you yet.”

“You’ll do fine, you're not my first padawan my dear Ad’ika I can teach and spar at the same time.”

Luke grinned and he lit up in the Force.

They started moving together, he moved slower like back when he taught Anakin and helped with the younglings. As they moved into more difficult moves he started verbally directing combos for Luke to learn the versatility of the moves. Luke was a natural with the blade but his moves were still choppy, but it was better than many Luke’s own age back at the temple. The way Luke burned in the Force whenever he moved with a sabre, while impressive did offer some worry, it was a wildness like Ahsoka, like Anakin.

When he felt Luke starting to tire he called the match. He retracted his blade and Luke fell backwards. “That was exhausting”

“You did well, dear one.” Obi-Wan sat across from Luke watching his kid breathe hard. 

“I’ve never seen anything quite like that,” Alema said and Bialia whooped. 

Luke flushed on his already red face. 

“Will one of you grab Luke something to drink? I'm afraid I didn't think to get any before we started.” Obi-Wan asked.

“No problem.” Alema said.

Luke sat up and breathed deep, “When can I learn the next form?”

“Likely in a few more months.” Obi-Wan said, “It’s imperative to get this one correct, it must be second nature before we can start on the next. You have to be able to perform basic form I exercises, they are not only the basics but they are important to learn to fight without overextending yourself.”

“I wanna fight like you.”

“Soresu, or form III Important form, focuses on defence and resilience in combat. Though something tells me you won’t be partial to that style of fighting.”

“Why?”

“There is fire in you young one,” Obi-Wan said with a tired smile.

~~~~~

The first week of the trip passed with little incident Luke and he had lots of training often with spectators, took turns of chores, were playing an ongoing tournament of Dejarik and started a Sabacc game which Obi-Wan was now not allowed to play as no one could bluff him. 

A moment however that had Obi-Wan watching Luke practice Binary with ArrThree, who he had to remind himself was not Artoo. He looked too much like Anakin, only a year younger than his father was when he came under Obi-Wan's care.

“ArrThree stop it.” Luke grumbled, “I will clean you when Alema lets me, she manages your care.”

“Anakin, stop playing with the droid we have practice,” Obi-Wan said

He stopped and looked at his son whose eyes had gone wide.

“Dad, I'm Luke.” He said walking towards his dad concern flowing off him

“Yes of course.” Obi-Wan said with a stiff smile, “Of course you are. Either way, we have training.”

Obi-Wan had to steady himself as Luke seemed to let the moment pass, running to their cabin to grab his sabre. Obi-Wan looked down at his shaking hands, he’d been doing so much better lately, since that day after he’d gotten drunk. But just one moment when Luke was too much like his father and Obi-Wan was back at the beginning not being able to stay in the moment. 

He had to keep it together.

~~~~~

“We have to stop at a fuel station and pick up some more provisions,” La’ara informed Obi-Wan. “It’s just a space station so it won’t take long.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t worry you two can stay away from everybody,  I'm  still jumpy after Jakku.”

“I am sorry if you want us to leave we will.”

“Kriff you idiot, I think you need help.”

“Well yes probably, but that doesn’t answer my question”

“Look, I told Luke that anyone who is on my crew is my family, therefore you are my family. You can’t convince me otherwise.”

“I’m quite good at convincing people, though I guess that often includes the threat of a lightsabre.”

“Well you had the chance to kill me and you haven't, I don't think you're gonna.”

“I like you, Force forgives me, I trust you. I let you be alone with my Luke. I’m not sure why.”

“Maybe it’s just that I’m endearing” La’ara joked, “But I do have to head out now.”

“May the Force be with you,” Obi-Wan said without thinking.

“Thank you,” La’ra said with a sunny smile. Oh god he hoped she was safe, she was his friend and he really hoped that didn’t resign her to sadness. 

Obi-Wan Meditated trying to not be overtaken by his emotions. He sighed when he felt the shift in the Force that was Qui-Gon showing up. 

“Hello, Master.”

“Hello Obi-Wan”

“Training Luke is going well.” Qui-Gon said, a statement, not a question, “He is very naturally talented.”

“So you're saying he’d be fine even without me,” Obi-Wan said smiling.

“No, quite the opposite, it takes direction for natural talent to be truly great.”

“Luke would have always been great, no matter what. He is great already, because of who he is, not his ability with a lightsaber.” 

“You’re right. His light and his love will be as necessary as any lightsaber skill in his destiny.”

“I believe you’re right.” Obi-Wan nodded at the truth of his words, “But he will need to protect himself.”

“You’re correct. I’m glad you have realised you won’t always be able to save him.”

Obi-Wan frowned. “I’m afraid for him master.”

“I know padawan.”

“I’ve had a grand padawan and a son. I'm no one's padawan.”

“You’ll always be my padawan.”

Obi-Wan appreciated that, he knew Anakin was his padawan after he had his own, and no matter how old Luke was he would be his son.

“Have you decided to teach him soresu yet?”

“Yes, I've decided to start after his ninth birthday.”

“I’ll admit to being a bit confused as to why you feel the need to start him so young on such a hard form.”

“You’re the one who talks so much about his destiny, he will need to know as much as possible.”

“Fair enough.”

“Was there a reason you came to speak to me?” Obi-Wan asked.

“I was wondering how your meditation was coming.”

“If you're asking about holding my form in the Force, you’ve still not told me how to do so,” Obi-Wan said, throwing his hands up in exaggeration.

“Facing your fears, which will come naturally. Accepting death. And being able to become one with the Force again. To feel everything while still being you, something you have achieved before but has become blocked to you. Learning to reach out again and not shut yourself off”

“Well, it’s not safe to let myself be seen in the Force. Should Vader...”

“I know. But the time will come when you will know it’s safe, being able to perceive safety will be important, you can only feel fear.”

“I think I've earned a little fear.” Obi-Wan chafed at the idea of safety being possible in this world, Qui-Gon wasn’t in this world he was apart from it. 

“Maybe,” Qui-Gon said nothing more.

Obi-Wan groaned, leaning back on his bed. Safety? Not possible.

Chapter Text

Luke
Luke hung upside down off his bunk when Alema came in. Luke stared at her, she looked tired, dark circles on her bright blue skin.
“How are you doing Luke?”
“Bored. Are you okay?”
“I was wondering if you would want to learn Twi'leki”
“Sure my dad speaks some already, he loves languages.” He was good at verbal language.

Luke decided Twi'leki was harder than Huttese, having not always heard it around him. And there was a problem he didn’t have Lekku which meant there would be some parts he would never be able to do which sucked because when he learned Mando’a he didn’t have that problem.

But the calmness and happiness that came off her in the Force made it worth it.

“So let’s take a break for today.” She said, clapping her hands.
“I can’t wait to learn some more,” Luke said smiling
“Thank you for doing this, I miss my people some days and having someone to share this with I think it will help.”
“Why not offer it to the others?”
“Well, you have the most free time. Even your dad has gotten roped into being co-pilot”
“I could help,” Luke said with a frown.
“I’m sure you will. When we get to Ques we’ve all decided to convince your dad to let us teach you to fly.”
“He'll want to come up in the comet with us.”
“No problem. We get that your dad has issues with you not being close to him.”

Luke didn’t like that they talked about him so much. He’d only had his dad for so long. Having all these people was still strange even after a month.
~~~~~
Waking from a nightmare his dad was already helping him off the top bunk to hold him while he cried. The dream was scattered and confused but it consisted of red blades, blue blades and green ones. Clashing and throwing shadows. It felt heavy in his mind.

“Want to tell me about it?”
“Not yet,” Luke said.
“Okay, Ad’ika.” His dad agreed, rubbing Luke's back.

They stayed sitting against the bottom bunk on the floor for a long time till the door was knocked on.
“Hey, Ben. Wanna run the daily diagnostic? I know you do.” Mom Arcoum joked.
“Can’t ArrThree do it?” His dad asked, sounding very awake from just having been sleeping.
“Sure he could but we always do it manually once.”
“Fine.”

A kiss on the head served as the goodbye as his dad went to run probably pointless diagnostics.

Luke pulled himself onto the lower bunk and considered his dream, the possibility of so much fighting was scary, but he also knew it was what was in his future. The empire made sure of that, and he knew he would be expected to end all of it, his grandmaster had said as much. So he had to get better at fighting and there was no other choice. He had to get his father to teach him, the basics weren’t going to do him any good against inquisitors or worse.

After going through the motions of the morning Luke grabbed his lightsaber and walked up to his dad who was floating on the floor of the cargo hold.

“Something is bothering you dear one.”
“I have to be better.”
“At what?”
“Being a padawan.”
“You’re right where you need to be.”
“My dad got to be a real padawan when he was nine, that's less than a year older than me!”
“Your father still took classes and did many other things before he went on missions with me.”
“But I don't get to have classes. The closest I have is learning Twi'leki. Or if sabac counts.” Luke crossed his arms.
His dad rubbed his hand down his face, “Okay. What are you trying to learn?”
“More advanced lightsaber skills.”
“No. Like I said you need a few more months on form one before we get anywhere close to moving on to form Sourseu, we'll skip Makashi as I'm quite terrible. This is one of those times I wish Qui-Gon had taken the time to teach me he was a masterful practitioner.” His dad smiled at this which was confusing like there was a joke Luke was missing.
“Your master wouldn’t teach you?”
“He didn’t always teach me the skill he had. Though he did try to teach me his interest in esoterica. Though I'm not against that, I always found the history of the Jedi important.”
“But I don't get that,” Luke said he’d always thought of Jedi as fighters, but with his dad talking about classes and whatever esoterica was it made him wish he could be a proper Padawan.
“No.” His dad's smile turned sad, “I am sorry.”
“You didn’t burn it all down.” Luke shrugged.

A jolt in the Force made Luke flinch, the emotions themselves were locked in his dad’s head but whatever it was hurt. His dad’s face didn’t even change

“No new forms yet, but we can practice using the Force more practically.”

Luke brightened at that, that could be fun.
The phrase I love you came through their bond.
“How did you do that?” Luke asked.
“I guess I never taught you. I was always worried about my emotions overwhelming you in the Force. I never thought about teaching you how. But you can use the Force to send basic messages the same way you can with emotions. But it’s quite difficult if it doesn’t happen naturally for you.
~~~~~
“We're going to come in for the landing,” Bialla called from the front.

Sitting in the common room seat Luke watched his dad scrunch his face together but the landing felt like nothing and Luke was impressed even transports didn’t always land like that.

“So Ben, you want to help us unload the cargo?”
“Of course.” His dad smoothed Luke’s hair.

Luke followed back and was surprised when one of the smaller boxes was placed in his hands. “What?”
“You’re crew right?” She asked with a wink
A grin spread on Luke’s face and his dad gave him a tired smile.

They moved the cargo to the hover carts and walked out and Luke was assaulted with muggy heat. They were in a small port but he could see a swamp rolling in front of him. The life force of animals and plants was new and strong. It wasn't nearly as bad as people, people were complicated. Frogs were a lot less stressful.

After moving all the boxes to another ship and La’ara talked to the pilot they all gathered together again.

“There is a cantina on this planet, and I suggest we go celebrate. Another ship is coming in two standard days where we will use our new credits to get supplies, and another five days will get our next shipment to...move.”
“What are we moving?” Luke asked.
La’ara glanced at his dad who shook his head, “I’m not serving the senate anymore.”
“We just moved food, next time its spice,” La’ara said not meeting his dad’s eyes.
“Spice?” Luke looked confused.
“Drugs Luke.” Alema sighed, “It’s quite illegal.”
Luke nodded, “So will the Empire come after us?”
“No. We’re small-time.”
“The Hutts?” his dad asked.
“Not unless we kark it up?” La’ara said with an embarrassed smile.
“Well choose something with less heat the time after that. This was set up before we knew you were coming with us.” Mom Arcoum explained.
“Meet you two back at the ship?” Alema asked, Luke could feel the hope in her words.

His dad nodded, “Luke why don’t we go train?”
“Okay.” Luke agreed, taking his dad’s hand who led him back to the ship.
Before they got in the ship they turned and walked into the swamp finding a clearing with solid enough ground they could easily move.

Holding out the lightsaber in an empty palm his dad nodded, “Take it?”
Luke realised what he wanted and focused on the feeling of the lightsaber and brought it to himself easily.

His dad got in ready position dropping his robe, “let’s begin”

Luke assumed the same positions and was taken aback when his dad moved quickly causing him to almost lose his footing. Working as fast as he could, Luke tried to figure out how to respond. It was difficult and with only a few seconds he was on his back.
“Stand up.” His dad said with a nod, “I'll walk you through it this time.”

Luke stood up and his father started calling combos and Luke was almost able to keep up before he was on his back again.

“Stand up.” His dad echoed his earlier instruction.

They repeated this pattern a few times before his dad let him lay on the ground painting.
“What’s the point of making me fall? I don’t understand.” Luke whined.
“You wanted to train to fight, enemies don’t give you time to breathe, you have to make them.”

Luke thought about that then got an idea. Make him give him space.

“Again,” Luke said, getting to his feet assuming his ready position.

His dad didn’t call the combos but Luke remembered when he got to the point he didn’t have space to follow through on the move his stuck one hand out imagining his father falling backwards. And Luke jumped with excitement when his dad hit the ground.
“Good Job Luke.”
“Yeah?”
“You thought about it, it’s important to be creative when you fight. You must use your connection in the Force to your advantage. Now next time you give yourself space, have me off balance. I want you to run.”
“Run?”
“Until you know you can win, running is perfectly acceptable. The first rule of Jedi combat is to survive.” His dad’s presence in the Force was warm and solid. It gave Luke strength.

They repeated the exercise multiple times, his dad changing the angle of attack forcing Luke to spin and change the order of his blocks. Used the Force to create space, either pushing his dad back or jumping out of the way.
“Good, using the Force practically in your fighting is an important skill to know. I promised to teach you. I'm glad we were able to get there.”

Luke nodded, breathing heavily.

“I’m going to change styles myself. I’ve been using Shii-Cho too. I'll switch to Soresu, it’s my preferred method.”

And Luke could tell it was different. It put Luke on the offensive which Luke decided he preferred even if his dad still knocked him back on his but most of the time.

Luke's concentration was broken when he heard a loud noise from the side. And next thing he knew his dad had a blade pointed at his chest. “Never lose focus, we will have to work on keeping awareness around you without losing focus. Combat Awareness, but that will be hard till you are more connected with yourself and the Force. And with practice.” His dad retracted his blade, “Let’s meditate to calm down?”

Luke took his father’s offered hand with a nod.
~~~~~

The next day they trained the same way and it ended with Luke soaring back into the mud and getting himself utterly soaked. He had two tunics in all of his possessions and both were dirty. So now he was in Mom Arcous nightshirt while he sulked.

“You know you look rather cute?” Alema said with a grin.
“I’m not cute.” Luke snapped.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m absolutely sure.”
“Well, I think you’re cute. Just cute enough to learn how to pilot the comet once your pants are dry?”
Luke perked up at that, “Really?”
“Really.”
“Wizard!” Luke cheered.
~~~~~
Luke was nervous as Alema went over the last of the instructions and detached the comet from the Star Runner. Breathing out, Luke took off. He hovered in the sky and smiled as he felt the thrusters under him.
“Look, Dad, I'm flying.”
“Yes, Luke you are.” His dad nodded, looking very anxious.
“Take her in a loop around the landing yard,” Alema said.

Luke did as instructed, slightly stuttering as he did so but he managed to avoid losing altitude or crashing into anything.

“Take her higher and fly to the biggest tree right in front of us and back.”

It wasn’t hard but she was still nervous. This time he did crash a little bit, scrapping the trees wasn’t too bad, it was a bit embarrassing and he felt the nervousness of both his teacher and his dad as he did so. But he got back and landed without major incident, so he considered it a win.

“Good job Lue!” She gave him a one-armed hug, “We’ll fly again tomorrow, you’ll do fantastic. Maybe we can even get you out of doing some chores”

“I don’t mind doing the work I want to be helpful.”
“Yeah but you're still just a youngling, I'm sure your dad would agree you can have a little fun.”
“Well just make sure you practice landing. I've had enough exciting landings to last a lifetime.” His dad muttered.
“Yes, dad.” Luke agreed and Alema ruffled his hair.
~~~~~
Luke spent the next four days on Ques in a consistent pattern of spending the morning in Jedi training and then the afternoon flying with Alema.

The last night on the marsh planet Lue sat talking to Arrthree

“I’m gonna be able to fly soon. Then you and I can take the ship up like everyone else.”
Arrthree commented.
“Think so?”

“I do.”

“Thanks, ArrThree”

“Are you ready for the end of day meal?” Mom Arcoum said holding a bowl of soup while Alema followed behind with a stack of bowls for them to share.

They sat around eating and Luke realised how much better even reconstituted soup tasted with his new family around him. His dad felt more solid and less fuzzy when they were able to train more and when he had people around. And the Force felt alive without being overwhelming.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

“It’s going to be Luke's birthday soon, two days after empire day,” Obi-Wan told La’ara

“Well when we trade the spice off we’ll be in a big enough city we can buy some cake,” La’ra said.

“It will also be empire day,” Alema said.

“Why are we moving spice on empire day?” Obi-Wan sighed.

“Well there is a lot of traffic but the imps are busy marching about so it’s not too hard. Holidays are great for moving things without getting noticed.” Bialla explained.

“Either way Luke’s birthday is two days after Empire Day. I have to admit though I'm not sure how well I'll be able to help over this period. I tend to experience...depressive symptoms on those days. Sometimes I am okay, some days I can't even get out of bed. I am greatly sorry.”

“Dude no problem. Just let us know what you two need. As we say, if you’re my crew so you’re family!” La’arra announced, nodding her head. “And since you’ve been part of the crew I have something for you.” She pulled a small bag and pressed it into his hand. Obi-Wan opened it and saw a decent amount of credits.

“You don’t have to...”

“You’ve done maintenance, helped move cargo, worked on the paperwork and took turns flying.”

“That’s just me doing what I need since you allow us to stay even when we’re just two more mouths to feed.”

“Look, I have enough money to pay everyone what they deserve, including you. And with this, you can afford to get Luke a gift and save some.”

“Thank you”

La’ara clapped him on the back leaving him to stare at the credits in his hand. It was better than most of the work he’d found on planetside.

~~~~~

Obi-Wan made his way moving silently through the streets. He went into a clothing store and picked out one tan and one black tunic with a matching undershirt and pants. They were a little big for Luke now but as he grew they should fit him. 

And for a more fun gift he picked out a stuffed frog might be a little young but he still played with his tooka, sometimes making it talk to ArrThree. 

A firework sounded in the sky and Obi-Wan jumped. He flinched hard, god he hated fireworks. His body felt tense and he was nauseous. He saw two men walking by each other both drunk. 

“I’m going to be a dad!” the one on the left announced.

“I know my brother” The one on the right laughed.

Obi-Wan felt his chest tighten, he thought of baby Luke, and how much it had hurt there was no Anakin there with him. And then Padmé came into his mind and how he’d known long before she’d confirmed it, that the baby was Anakin's. His best friend, his brother a father. His friend; a mother. A family, they could have been a family. 

Horrible thoughts came up as he was almost on the ship. Padmé choked on Mustafar, Anakin kark no, Vader holding her by her throat. Breaking her heart, she’d never wake up. He could feel the heat of Mustafar smell the burning sulphur air. 

He managed to get in the ship and dropped the bags in the cargo hold and then turned outside leaning on the hull of the ship breathing in and out.

La’ara came out, putting an arm around him. “Wanna go lay down?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan admitted.

She supported him half holding him up laying Obi-Wan on his bunk.

“You're safe and so is Luke. He’s playing with ArrThree... Rest.”

Obi-Wan could feel the power of her in the Force because the moment the word rest left her lips he found himself giving in to sleep.

When Obi-Wan finally woke up, in a cold sweat he checked the chronometer on the table and realised he had slept a full ten hours.

Walking into the common room he saw the whole crew playing Sabacc with much enthusiasm. “So who's winning?”

“We just keep passing the chips around and can't seem to get anyone to win.”

“I fold” Luke announced standing and running over to obi-Wan.

“You okay buir, I know you weren’t good, La’ara told me about the panic. I don’t think it’s been that bad for a while.”

“Nothing some sleep won’t fix.”

Luke looked at his feet, “I know it was just empire day and I know you hate my birthday too. So if you need to rest more I can stay with the crew for my birthday.”

“Dear one, it's not about your birthday, I love having you more than anything. I know some years I've been unwell on past birthdays. But I won't miss this one.”

Luke beamed, meeting his eyes. 

“Want some soup?” Mom Acroum asked, “you look like death.”

~~~~~

Obi-Wan didn’t fully manage. He missed the entire morning unable to fully pull himself out of his bunk. It was hard trying to fight his body and mind, wanting to be there for Luke. To support his son as he promised.

But he got up by midday and inferred that La’ara had taken Luke shooting that morning. 

And this blaster interest continued into Luke's gifts. He’d opened Obi-Wan's first and found it very pleasing announcing he could get dirty more often. Even the toy seemed to resonate with him, inviting a hug as crushing as a nine-year-old could muster.

But the problem was the rest of the team had bought him a blaster and a weapons holster. 

“Now you can defend yourself.”

“He’s nine!” Obi-Wan protested.

“You're teaching him to wield a laser sword that could cut his hand off. Not to mention that people have seen those things take down armies. If you wish your son unprotected then fine.”

“Dad, I want it. Two weapons are better than one. Plus you're the one who tells me lightsabers are too conspicuous.”

“Fine.”Obi-Wan sighed, “Being proficient in both blaster and lightsaber combat will serve you well.”

“Yes,” Luke shouted, pumping his fist. “I’ll be a master at both.”

“You know? I don’t doubt it” La’ara said with a smile

~~~~~

“You want us to hide?” Obi-Wan asked, feeling deeply offended. But he pulled his emotions back, she likely had a reason.

“Yes, get yourself out of here. The people we’re trading with this time, I don’t trust them to not be curious.” La’ara crossed her arms 

“Okay.” Obi-Wan nodded, “I will take Luke away from the ship.”

“Good...Good.”

“I know you well enough to feel you in the Force. Should something go wrong, I will be there.”

“I’m not worried for me,” La’ara said chin jutting in defiance.

“You are afraid. And I believe for both of us.” 

“Fine. You’re not wrong.” La’ara said, “Thank you.”

“May the Force be with you,” Obi-Wan said he went to Luke who was standing next to ArrThree talking animatedly.

“Come on.” Obi-Wan held out his hand

“Where?” Luke asked, taking his dad’s hand.

“La’ara think we’ll be unhelpful with the business deal so we have to leave” Obi-Wan explained

He pulled his hood over his head and Luke did the same. They moved quietly through the major city of Pantora. As he moved he felt a familiar presence in the Force following him. But holding Luke to his side he couldn’t make his mind focus enough to decide if it was friend or foe. 

Taking a sharp turn into an ally he pushed Luke behind a trash can and pulled out his lightsaber. The person in front of him pulled out dual white blades. 

He quickly noticed who it was; the stance of Djem So solidified the thought in his head.

“Ahsoka.” He said his heart was jumping into his throat.

Both powered their lightsabers down and moved towards each other. He hugged her to his chest, and Ahsoka pushed her face into his robe. He felt tears run down his face.

“I’m so sorry,” Obi-Wan whispered.

“Obi-Wan '' She said quietly.

“I’m sorry for everything.”

She pushed back. “Do you know what happened to him?”

“Darth Vader,” Obi-Wan said, feeling his hands start to shake. “I tried to stop him, but I couldn’t.”

“I’ve not seen Vader. But I've seen the inquisitors.”

“So have we.”

“We can talk, But we need to get out of here.”

“Luke come on.” Obi-Wan held his hand behind him, he felt Luke take his hand.

“Who is he?” She asked, pulling her own hood over her head as the three moved through the street.

“We need to stay close. Our crew is nearby” Obi-Wan explained.

“Okay, I have so many questions.” Ahsoka laughed.

Ahsoka brought them to a small building and they walked, took a fire escape to the top window and entered a room with a hollo-table and a bag in it.

“I know there are no listeners here. So spill it.”

“On?” Obi-Wan asked.

He could feel Lukes concern as he pressed himself into Obi-Wan's side like when he was tiny.

“The youngling.”

Obi-Wan lifted Luke, setting him in front of him. 

“This is Luke.”

Ahsoka knelt in front of him, “Hello Padawan.”

“I’m not really a Padawan.” Luke said, “I don’t have a braid.”

She laughed, “Seriously though, how'd you end up running around with master Obi-Wan?”

“He’s my dad,” Luke said, standing up straighter.

Ahsoka looked up in surprise, “Dad?”

“He’s my son, yes.”

“How old are you, Luke.”

“I just trend nine about a week ago.”

“So right at the end of the War Who's your mom?”

“I’m not allowed to tell,” Luke said, crossing his arms.

Obi-Wan wanted to laugh; he looked so young as he tried to stand up to a fully realised Jedi.

“I see.” she glanced at Obi-Wan. Ahsoka stood and seemed lost in thought.

“Padmé,” she breathed after a long moment. Obi-Wan would have to work on Luke’s shields more.

“Yes.”

“So he’s Anakin’s”

“Yes,”

“You poor kid.” She lifted Luke into a hug.

“I have my buir.” Luke said defensively. “And I have the crew, I'm fine.”

“I’m sure you are kid. Got yourself a blaster and everything.”

“Lightsabers are a dead giveaway,” Obi-Wan explained.

“Fair enough.” She shrugged. 

“Who are you again?” Luke asked

“I’m fulcrum, or I guess since your dad already knows I'm Ahsoka Tano. But if anyone asks I’m fulcrum” 

Luke’s eyes went big, “The Ahsoka! As in my dad’s Grand Padawan?”

“Yes, that one.” Ahsoka nodded.

“Absolutely wizard.” He practically jumped rocking on his heels, “Dad talks about you all the time. Ahsoka and Anakin did this and Ahsoka and Anakin did that.”

“Oh does he?” Ahsoka laughed.

“Uh-huh. And he always says you were so brave and you would have been an amazing Jedi. But now I guess you can be or are since you’re not dead.”

“No, they couldn’t kill me. I’m stubborn like that.” Ahsoka commented, smiling at his child. 

Obi-Wan felt his heartache for what could have been. They could have always been close. He knew even if Ahsoka had never come back to the temple she would have come for Anakin. When Anakin left to be with Padmé and the babies. But now everything was broken and his parents were dead and Ahsoka had to live on the run. Even if she didn’t live as a Jedi the empire would kill her like one.

“Ahsoka, can you show me how you use your lightsabers? Dad says you practice Djem So and Jar'Kai”

“Maybe later,” Ahsoka said and ruffled Luke’s hair.

“Ahsoka what are you doing here?”

“I’m working with a rebellion.”

“Rebellion?” Luke asked, eyes wide.

“Sure. It’s just some people working for what we believe.”

He felt a twinge of confusion and fear that came flooding through his connection with La’ara. 

“We have to go La’ara’s in trouble.”

Ahsoka and Luke nodded, throwing their hoods up and following Obi-Wan out. Obi-Wan picked Luke up as they ran to keep him from tiring. When they got to the outside of the landing area, Ahsoka jerked her head and Obi-Wan knew she wanted to go first. 

He let her, knowing she could handle herself against whatever was there.

“Hey, what are you harassing them for?” Ahsoka called.

“They aren’t paying their fee for doing business.”

“We literally are trading in chips that upgrade astromechs and pit droids, nothing exciting.” A voice he knew to be Bialla’s. 

“And we paid to land here.” Alema put in. 

“So I suggest you move along, these nice ladies owe you nothing,” Ahsoka said, voice strong and clear.

“What are you going to do if we don't?”

“Oh knock you out and if it really comes to it kill you.”

“And why would you do that?” The gangsters asked.

“Well my friend likes this crew quite a bit and no one can say no to that cute kid. Oh, and his dad could kill you.”

Obi-Wan heard the gangsters making noises of anger and then of surprise as they were likely all knocked out by Ahsoka’s fantastic hand to hand skills.

He and Luke walked in behind them to see Ahsoka standing over one looking annoyed.

“Hi Ben,” La’ara said, “Guessing you sent this cool lady to help us?””

“You can call me Fulcrum,” Ahsoka said.

“Okay, can do,” Alema said.

Bialla, looking exasperated, asked, “Are all your friends deadly?”

“I mean yes.” Obi-Wan shrugged. 

They got inside of the Star Runner and Luke looked like he was about to fall asleep. Obi-Wan scooped him up, taking him to the cabin and laying him down. Fixing the cover and getting both his toys fixed in the space between Luke and the wall.

“Luke looks a lot like him. In the Force and in his eyes.”

“Yes, I know,” Obi-Wan said, turning to face Ahsoka.

“You two can go to the comet and talk there.” La’ara said with a smile, “Let us know when you leave Fulcrum so we can take off. Or if you want to hitch a ride to Ques you can come with.”

“We’re going back to Ques?” Obi-Wan asked

“Well, no one tried to shake us down or kill our crew members there. So I vote Ques as our drop point.” La’ra said leaning on the wall waves of fondness coming off her.

“I’d love to go to Ques. Get your ship in the air.” Ahsoka said, “I can hollo my team and have them pick me up there. I have no more business here.”

Obi-Wan let Ahsoka go up first to the comet to comm whoever.

“So who is she to you?”

“Family” Obi-Wan shrugged, “That’s all that matters. Well, that and that I failed her. Twice.”

“Well, apologise. And she seems to accept that you're sorry to some extent. She is willing to help us and stay.”

“That might be more about Luke. He’s family and he’s not had time to kark it up.”

Ahsoka poked her head down grinning, “Well come on than Ben you wanted to talk.”

Obi-Wan climbed up the rails and sat on the bench across from Ahsoka.

“I’m sorry Ahsoka.” He said once the hatch was closed.

“You said that.”

“For everything. For not pushing harder against the council on your trial. For not reaching out to you. For not explaining better that it wasn’t about the council with Mandalore, it was about Coruscant’s safety; you didn’t see what the battle was like.”

“Calm down Obi-Wan.” She put her hand on her shoulder, “I’m not mad at those things anymore. How can I be mad at the council after what happened to them? I disagreed with how they were handling the war, how they forgot what they should be. But they were trying to stay alive and keep their own safe. And now that everyone is gone” Ahsoka shrugged, “what I do hate is that there is no way for them to do better, they didn’t deserve destruction, they should have gotten the chance to be better. To actually be what a Jedi is meant to be. I don’t have to be one to care.”

Obi-Wan felt his hands shake as he got to the real problem, Anakin. “I didn’t save him. I fought Darth Vader and I didn't kill him, and I didn't save Anakin . I’m sorry for that.”

“You fought him,” Ahsoka said softly. “After he killed Anakin?”

“He destroyed Anakin, and I couldn't save him.”

Ahsoka took his shaking hands. “It’s not your fault”

“Yes, it is. If I'd been better at....at everything this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Maybe but what can you do about it now?”

He barely heard what Ahsoka said before the next sentence was out his mouth

“Before we knew exactly what had happened, we needed to understand. Master Yoda and I went to The Temple. I saw everything. All of the bodies and blaster burns. And I can't forgive myself.”

“Then don’t” Ahsoka leaned back.

Obi-Wan laughed

“If you feel bad then feel bad. But it won’t fix anything. It won’t bring Anakin back, or anyone else.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“Oh I've always been smart, you just weren't listening.”

“No, I guess I wasn’t, I wasn’t listening well to anything or anybody.” Obi-Wan felt himself slightly flinch at the memory of Darth Vader screaming that he hated Obi-Wan. He should have listened better to Anakin. He changed the line of thought by asking, 

“How did you survive?” 

“Because I was just a Padawan?”

“No, because they tried to kill every Jedi. You were strong but even most masters died.”

“I’m not a Jedi anymore.” Ahsoka looked about to cry, “Blast it even though I left I still felt it.”

“The Force will never leave you, young one.”

“I watched all my troopers die. I downed the entire cruiser to survive. I don’t know, it killed me to kill them.” Ahsoka was crying now. 

Obi-Wan took her shoulder and pressed his hand to her face, sending waves of calm through the Force.

“None of this should have happened.” She sobbed.

They stayed like that for a long moment, stretching out in the Force. Desperately holding on to memories of a different time. When they both had so much more.

Pulling back, Ahsoka walked to the view screen which was showing the tunnel of hyperspace. 

“Osi'kyr! This damn war.” She said, rubbing her hands together.

“The war is over.”

“Wrong war old man. I mean the war against the empire.”

“Ah, your rebellion,” Obi-Wan said in exhaustion.

“It’s important,” Ahsoka said, spinning to face him, arms crossed.

And for a moment he saw and heard the young Padawan from the day she’d been dropped off for Anakin.

“I know Ahsoka, I know.”

“And you're not helping.”

“Not with Luke so young. He’s only nine, he can't go on missions.”

“No, he has to wait till he’s fourteen” She snapped bringing back another guilt, had they really had her fighting a war so young? 

He’d fought in a war for only a limited time at that age, to fight for the whole war that was so unfair. He could remember as a Padawan fighting with the young on Melida/Daan. How awful it had been, how damaging on the people of the planet and on him. Losing a friend there seeing people manipulate others. Not on the scale of the clone wars but still terrible. He hated that they had put Ahsoka through such a thing, how could he have done that? Well because it’s what Padawans did, they learned from their masters. But hadn’t that caused pain? To learn by doing maybe shouldn’t extend to being a commander in the war, being involved in a war by having members of your community fight was bad enough, being like Luke his life set adrift by the war, by the dark side. But flying a fighter yourself at age nine? No, he couldn't do that to luke.  

But Luke would have to be involved in the war young he knew that. Qui-Gon had said and Obi-Wan knew it to be true. Luke would be part of ending this war, bringing balance. 

“Wait till it’s his time. Luke will set things right. The Force has made it so.” Obi-Wan said softly.

“You believe that?”

“ His connection to the Force is fantastic, his abilities so impressive. Luke is already a prodigy with a lightsaber. I’m keeping him at the basics but his raw power in duals is amazing for his age. We'll move one to Sourseu in a few months. He’s as good as Anakin was when he started.”

“I’ll have to see that myself.” She grinned.

“I would love you to show him something. We can dual show him a Sourseu on Djem So/Jar’kai fight. I think we’ll be partial to your form, though single-bladed as we can’t do much Ja'kai fighting with only my and Anakin's blade.”

“You have Anakin’s blade.” Ahsoka took in a breath, “Can I hold it?”

“You'll have to ask Luke, it’s his now.”

“Anakin would like that” Ahsoka whispered

“Some hand to hand might also be good. My meditation and blade work still stands but I've not been practising hand to hand.”

“I can show him some moves.”

“But that’s not even why I think he can. Qui-Gon came to me and told me so.”

“You’re talking to a dead guy..sure the galaxy is weird enough. Though don’t go telling other people you speak to your dead former master they might think you’re crazy”

“The day after empire day I had a flashback and almost passed out in front of my crew. I’m pretty sure they’d just put me to bed and pat me on the head.”

“Well thank the Force for little kindnesses, I hope you're right. And the Force will lead you right, for Luke's sake and the rest of us.”

“I hope so too.”

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke finished telling Ahsoka/Fulcrum about his dad fighting the inquisitor on Jakku when Ahsoka looked over his head giving his dad a very pointed look about something he did not understand. 

“So Luke, what do you know about the empire?”

“They’re the reason my dad is a mess,” Luke said and then stuck his tongue out at his dad, for whatever it was he and Ahsoka were not telling him but oh so obviously communicating about.

“Well probably.” Ahsoka laughed, “But besides that.”

“They rose to power when I was a baby, destroyed the Jedi, are the reason Darth Vader exists, and he killed my dad’s brother, and they sent the inquisitors to kill us.”

“The empire destroys families. And just about everything else, anyone who dares to stand up against them or even just exist in ways they do not like,” Ahsoka explained.

“Fulcrum stop. Luke has been through enough he doesn’t need you making things worse.” His dad cut in

“Fine.” Ahsoka shrugged. 

“We are missing something,” Alema said, glancing towards Billa who nodded her agreement. 

At least he wasn’t the only one missing something. The room felt colder than it had only moments ago. 

“Why don’t you beat up Ben.” Luke suggested, “You got lightsabers.”

“I do.” Ahsoka agreed, quickly adding “But I'm not a Jedi.”

“Didn’t say you were.” His dad said his tone pained.

Again the surrounding room looked at each other with confusion. 

His dad and Ahsoka both took their ready stances, their energy shifting from the stressed cold it had been before to a calm cool that radiated practised power. He glanced at La’ara who looked and felt afraid. 

“What’s wrong?” Luke asked. 

“Feeling it twice over....”

“Begin,” his dad said.

They moved rapidly. He was impressed by the way they both moved; it was smooth and their lightsaber met beautiful arcs of white and blue. 

“You’re even better than when I last saw you, young one.” His dad laughed.

“Not so young anymore.” She countered landing a kick on his dad’s side.

His dad counter swiped at her legs with his foot, Ahsoka easily avoided it but it stopped her next attack. They both righted themselves in time for Obi-Wan to hit her wrist guard knocking one lightsaber out of her hand. Luke saw her split time contemplating grabbing it with the Force but this moment let Obi-Wan come down on the other lightsaber. Ahsoka was able to push back and then pushed him with the Force. And used her other hand to call her lightsaber back. 

His dad had barely regained his stance when Ahsoka took a step forward. 

“Stop!” La’ara shouted before either of them could make another move. 

Both dualists looked up, then glanced at each other.

“We weren’t going to hurt each other.” Ahsoka promised, “I wouldn’t press my advantage.”

“Yes, Ahsoka is honourable in a duel.” His dad commented. 

Luke smiled at his dad, not contradicting that Ahsoka had the advantage.

“I don’t care. Two of them, I can't handle it.” She said tears were brimming in her eyes.

“Two of what sweetheart?” Her mom asked.

La’ara gestured at the two of them.

“I don’t understand.” Mom Acroum said. 

“Luke’s presence is stronger than either of ours.” His dad answered and stroked his beard.

“That’s not what I meant.” She said, “You’re fine when you're not fighting, and Luke isn’t as...as...scary when you practice.”

“We’re scary?” His dad questioned, “I never meant to frighten you, I've never thought of myself as such.”

“You’ve never watched yourself fight.” La’ara said, sounding miserable, “And Fulcrum is just as scary as you.”

Ahsoka glanced at his dad with an eyebrow raised.

“I mean I thought it was a bit scary too. But I didn't feel anything.” Bialla commented.

“Do none of you know?” His dad asked curiously.

“What?” All of them but Ahsoka asked.

“She’s Force-sensitive.” His dad said

Ahsoka nodded, “That makes sense. I’ve felt something different with you this whole time, I wasn't sure though.”

“So that’s it,” Luke said his thoughts catching up with why her emotions were so much stronger and readable than anyone else.

“NO” La’ara shouted, glancing towards her mother.

“Yes, I knew.”Mom Acroum nodded, “Of course I know.”

“You never told me,” La’ara said her whole presence in the Force burning. As she wobbled on her feet.

“Calm down.” His dad said, “You're going to pass out.”

La’ara sneered at him, “I’m mad at you too for never telling me.”

“I thought you knew or at least it never seemed important to say.” His dad defended holding his hands up.

Luke rolled his eyes, welcome to my world he thought. “Dad never says anything he doesn't want to.”

“When did this become my fault?” His dad muttered to himself sitting on a box of merchandise.

“He’s right it’s not his. It’s yours.” La’ara shouted at her mother and stormed from the room her steps loud on the metal of the cargo hold followed swiftly by the rest of the crew. Leaving Luke staring at his dad and Ahsoka. 

“Well, that went well.” Ahsoka said, “Do you have this effect on everyone?”

“I suppose I do.” His dad said hand going to his beard.

“I can’t believe she didn’t know.” Luke said, “If she can read people like that.”

“My guess is she thought everyone could do what she does. And if she never developed her natural talents some of them would fade with time. Being a Jedi or at least trained by someone else who can use the Force is necessary to truly be in tune.” His dad explained

Luke nodded, “Hey Ahsoka why aren’t you a Jedi?”

“You never told him?” Ahsoka said, crossing her arms.

“I told Luke you left training.” His dad defend.

“You didn’t tell me she quit being a Jedi, just that she quit being Anakin’s Padawan..”

“Oh great, that’s how you told it,” Ahsoka said sitting down herself cradling herself in her own arms.

“I didn’t blame you. When she stopped being a Padawan she stopped being a Jedi I thought that was clear.”

“But why did you leave?” Luke repeated.

“I was framed for treason, and the Jedi Council didn’t side with me fully when the government railroaded me. I was angry and hurt, I left to work through the pain. But even more than that It seemed to me the Council had lost their way, forgot how much good they could do when they actually karking focused on what Jedi ought to be. ”

“I’m sorry the council didn’t side with you, that's so mean!” Luke commiserated “I hate governments, they always kark things up!”

“Little anarchist you have there.” Ahsoka laughed.

“The government was a mess and the council was too.” His dad said exhausted, “And not that it means anything, but I never stopped considering you my family Ahsoka, you would have always been welcome back to the Jedi”

Ahsoka gave a half-smile, “I never stopped considering you and Anakin my family either. But I'm not a Jedi, I made that choice before Luke was born.”

“I understand.” His dad said. He had pulled up his shields keeping Luke from having any way to know how he felt except that when he pulled his shields up this high he didn’t want Luke to understand. 

Luke wrung his hands, the tension in the room oppressive.

“Fulcrum can you teach me some of how to do some of your moves?” Luke unclipped his lightsabre from the back of his belt. “I have this and everything.”

“Can I hold it?” Ahsoka asked, holding out her hand.

Luke agreed, passing it over. Ahsoka blanched, leaning back with a sad face. 

“It’s so strong.”

His father nodded.

“Why is it so strong?”

“I think it’s by virtue of it being Anakin's. I cleansed it of some of the darkest moments before I gave it to Luke to try and help.”

She nodded, “That's how I got my lightsabre. I took two crystals that had been bled and cleansed them.”

“Bled?” Luke questioned.

“It’s what dark Force users like Sith and Inquisitors do to make their sabres red, and to move with the dark side of the Force so well.”

“Gross,” Luke said, scrunching his nose. Trying not to think of a rock bleeding.

“It’s not literal Luke, it doesn't actually produce blood. But it is bad, they scream in the Force.”Ahsoka said quietly

Luke nodded that was a disturbing thought for another time, “Cool sabre tricks now?”

“Sure.” Ahsoka gave him that tired smile that was so common with adults and took a ready pose with one of her white lightsabers.

She walked him through a few Shien and Djem So moves. 

“The Shien moves work well at countering blaster fire and Djem more so for close up fighting.”

“Cool” Look felt himself rock on his feet smiling broadly.

“One problem is you won’t master it completely till you know Soresu basics. Makahsi could be useful too. ”

“I’ll admit to planning to skip that form. My skill is rudimentary at best, maybe why I never quite got the jump on Dooku.” His dad admitted his presence in the Force flickering with what Luke could only guess at with his shields up. Maybe sadness? Or shame? 

So Luke tried to cheer his dad up, “It’s okay dad. You’ve kept me from dying this long.”

His dad buried his head in both hands. “You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Are you finally starting to believe in luck like all proper citizens of the galaxy?”Ahsoka said with a grin.

“The Force defines all things, luck is a fiction.” His dad countered, “Doesn't mean I tempt the Force, it has a way of playing out in ways we don’t predict.”

“I’m with you there. I don’t fancy playing with fate.” Ashoka agreed, “How long will we be in hyperspace?”

“Took us three weeks last time.”

“Good.” She said, “Long enough to teach you how to time an attack. Have you beating your dad in no time.”

“We were going, to begin with, Sorseu anyway. Can we spend the time doing both?” His dad offered.

“Sounds good.” Luke agreed, excited to be able to defend himself better, keep them all safe. Beating his dad would be fun of course but protecting the crew was even more important.

“How long do you think we need to hide here?” Ahsoka fake whispered to his dad.

“Oh, I think we can head back to our rooms at least.”

“You can come into our cabin and meditate.” Luke offered, “That’s what dad and I do after training.”

“Of course, Ahsoka.” His dad said.

“Okay. Haven’t meditated with other Force users since before I left the temple.” She nodded.

~~~~~

Luke was able to feel La’ara sitting in the cockpit, her emotions of anger and sadness radiate out. 

Crawling into the copilot seat was a bit awkward. Then Luke joined La’ara in watching the white lights of the hyperspace tunnel

“Why did they lie to me?”

“I’m not sure. My dad always says he lies because it’s what's best for me. What did your mother say?”

“She said that she didn’t tell me because I didn't need to know. They turned the jedi away when they came for me. And my dad said they should squash any Force sensitivity I had.”

“Maybe it was all the will of the Force. If you’d been a Jedi you might have died. And you definitely would not have Bialla or Alema. And you wouldn’t have met me, and may have only seen dad from far away.”

“Yes. I don’t want to be a Jedi ” She scoffed, “I don’t want to be lied to.”

“She didn’t lie. She just didn’t tell you everything.” Luke said, thinking of his dad not telling him about his father, sure he loved his dad more than anyone in the world and would not trade anything for him. But he wanted to have always gotten to love both of them not have one taken away. Having his whole family was something he ached for.

“It’s called a lie of omission,” La’ara explained, 

“Then my dad has a ton of those.” Luke joked,” I had to guess who my mom was from clues he left in his stories. Refused to tell me outright.”

“Okay. So you do know how I feel.” La’ara half-smiled.

“And being mad, won’t help. It just makes you feel worse.”

“Anger...Anger is hard. I had so much of it as a teenager. At my dad, at my mom, at my circumstances. But I got past so much of it. Here I am feeling like a kid and everything and then this. This makes me feel like I'm just a useless kid that I thought I was.”

“You’re not,” Luke said, getting on his knees facing her. “You’re not useless. You’re useful! Leading this crew, being nice to my dad, taking us in. Being Bialla and Alem’s friend, and your mother’s daughter. You’re important.”

“Thank you, you’re pretty smart for a youngling.”

“And you're a good friend,” Luke told her.

~~~~~

The nighttime meal was awkward that night. His dad and Ahsoka kept looking at each other with stressed expressions but the emotions of them were layered in a way he couldn’t pick through. Mom Acroum kept trying to start conversations with her daughter who was pointedly only talking with her friends who kept giving answers that trailed off as they looked around at each other for help.

The general stress was getting to be too much. He had done crowds and he had done his dad’s despair. But this was something he hadn’t yet prepared for. And the anger of La’ara was starting to make him want to throw up, he wasn't used to anger this strong. It was even worse than the grief of his father, because instead of the urge to sob he had the urge to hit something.  

“I hate this,” Luke shouted running from the room headlong into the bed. He pulled his lightsaber out and ran it into the top bunk cutting a hole through it. It felt good, it felt so good.

“Luke, what in the sith hells are you doing?” His father shouted. 

Luke turned seething, his father had a look of bewilderment and sadness in his eyes. 

“I’m so angry. The room was too much. I hate it!” Luke shouted, “It feels bad.”

“My dear boy you’re going to be okay. You’ve just been overwhelmed by the amount of emotions in the Force. I understand how hard that is.”

“How do you handle it?”

“You must learn to separate what others are feeling from what you are feeling.”

“How?”

“When you start to feel emotions that are strong in others, ensure your shields are up that will filter it. And practice the breathing exercises we do when you're in crowds”

“Okay. Can we practice shields tomorrow?” Luke asked, whipping tears from his face he hadn’t known were falling.

“Of course my Adika.” Obi-Wan held out his arm and Luke rushed into them, “We must also practice what actions to take when you get overwhelmed by emotions.”

“Are  you mad at me?”

“No dear one. I’m just worried for La’ara and for you. Well, I always worry.”

“I know that.” Luke gave a crooked smile to his dad who ruffled his hair.

Chapter Text

Ahsoka

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka sat in the shuttle staring at each other.

“Why are you here? ''? Ahsoka asked, knowing the answer

“I could tell you needed someone to talk to. Or at.”

Ahsoka hugged her arms to herself looking at the floor. She hated how she felt like a teenager again around Obi-Wan.

“I’m not the only one who lost everything. I know you weren’t a Jedi anymore. But the Jedi were still where you came from. And I know the clones were very important to you too, your brothers.” He said softly taking her hand

“They were.” Ahsoka said quietly, “And I killed so many of them, the ship crashed and I buried their bodies.”

“The clones being part of Sidious's plan, we weren’t expecting that.”

“It wasn’t their fault!” Asoka shouted getting to her feet locking eyes with Obi-Wan, “They were good people. It was because people who could look more into it didn’t! You just accepted them as a gift of soldiers and you didn’t have to.”

“You’re right. We should have asked more questions when it came to the clones, ensuring they would be treated fairly during and after the war if there had been an after.”

“That yes. But not what I mean, I mean that they had chips in their brains, it made them want to kill Jedi.”

“Really.” Obi-Wan breathed.

“Yes.” Ahsoka nodded emphatically hoping he wouldn’t be mad at them, the clones they just hadn't needed to live or die that way.

“Well, that is even worse than them deciding to kill me. Cody tried to kill me and it wasn’t even his choice.”

“Do you know what happened to him?”

“No.

“I don’t either. I know where few clones are. Rex included. I can’t tell you.” Ahsoka said 

“Ahsoka, I understand. You’re protecting people who matter to you. That’s important.” Obi-Wan looked exactly like master Kenobi at that moment, eyes soft and sure. And somehow that made it all worse.

“But you won’t help me protect everyone,” Ahsoka growled, she didn’t understand him for not wanting to help. Obi-Wan was a good soldier and a better man. Even if she had been mad at him for what went down with the council. Kark it she still cared about him. And knowing that when he wasn’t bound by the council he was deadly. 

“Not yet. Even you have to agree nine is a little young to be flying fighters into battle.” He said, eyes beseeching her to understand.

“Sure.”Ahsoka shrugged, “But other parents do have a role.”

“When we run into the rebellion and Luke is older we will help. I swear it to you. We will have a role to play”

“I will hold you to that master.”

“I am sorry for all you went through. During the clone war, after it, during your rebellion.”

“It’s not mine. If it’s anyone’s it’s Organa’s”

“Organa.” Obi-Wan actually smiled,” Of karking course it is.”

“You were friends?”

“I like to think so.” 

“He’ll be pleased to know you’re alive.”

She didn’t know why but she felt like crying. Looking in her grandmaster’s eyes glistening with unshed tears. Everything about Master Obi-Wan was just sad, he was firmly in the light of the Force, but the exhaustion that had been there when in his presence during the war had now wrapped itself around him like a second skin.

“You have your wound of war and grief. And anger too. But you're still just as much a shining light as you were as a kid. You change with time but my dear Grand Padawan you’re still rather impressive.”Obi-Wan said the old kindness was so strong it hurt.

Ahsoka couldn't help but take his hand in hers and press her face to it. Willing the pain to leave them both instead their grief mingled in the physical contact causing those unshed tears to run free. She dropped her shields down enough to let Obi-Wan take in her feelings and some strands of memory. Most of it was what life had been like after order 66.

“When did we get so honest,” Ahsoka asked with a joke in her tone.

“I thought I'd lost you nine years ago. That’s a long time to think my grand Padawan was gone.”

“Fulcrum! Dad! Midday meal.” Luke shouted up into the cabin.

Ahsoka avoided talking to anyone at Midday Meal. Her shields were up locking Obi-Wan back out of her emotions and now she was glad she had shields by default as she now knew La’ara was not aware of her abilities. Her loss and grief were her own.

After midday meal she watched Luke run through katas.

“You're ready to begin Soresu.”

“Absolutely wizard.” Luke sent waves of excitement off. His shields were good for keeping thoughts out and thoughts in for a youngling. But his emotions still screamed in the Force.

“After you go through the first few katas I'll work with him on shields.” Ahsoka said, “His emotions are still kriffing overwhelming. We have to train for maxim utility of even our thoughts can be used against us ”

“I agree. And thank you for the offer fulcrum. Your shields are very well done, I am sure they serve you well.”

“Yours are pretty good too, which is impressive considering what a mess you are.” She said with a smile pulling at her lips.

“Oh, they were terrible for a few years. What happened shattered them” Obi-Wan felt like a foggy feeling in the Force, faltering like he’d missed a step on the stairs. 

“Can we start the lesson now?” Luke asked, taking his fathers arm “Or do you need to lay down?

“No, I think doing the lesson will be better. As I've said and you’ve seen when we spar form III is primarily defence. It’s called resilience form as it will allow you to outlast your opponents. The movements are controlled compared to what you are used to in the fluid action of form I.”

He demonstrated a combination of moves showing the importance of the control of the movement. “You can see how this kind of movement will block anything well. From a lightsabre to a blaster or even a vibroblade.”

They walked through the moves a few times.

“When we land we’ll have to use the training droid again and have you practice deflecting again.”

Luke stopped and watched Obi-Wan complete a complicated set of moves. He smiled at the end, turning to his son a calm satisfaction that was so like the master Obi-Wan she had known her heart jumped in her throat. All the complicated emotions she had towards him mixed with the connections shared trauma had given them. 

“When we use Soresu we can choose to kill, disarm, or even reason with opponents. Sometimes it’s called being within the eye of the storm: we maintain a calm centre, undistracted and undisturbed by the conflict around them. I prefer this form for its insistence on survival. We never stop moving our blade and eventually, our opponent will make mistakes.” Master Kenobi seemed to have finished his instruction as he was now counting steps for Luke to move through a set of basic parries. 

“If you mix in some Djem So and Shien moves you can Force mistakes.” Ahsoka added.“Too bad Yoda isn't here to teach Ataru. He’s amazing at it.” 

”Yes, that’s truly not my expertise. At any rate, before we think of the next steps we have to get through Soresu first. And I believe we can get Luke here to be a master of it. And I can teach him Djem So and Shien. Anakin and I taught you, though you put your mind to it and outperform yourself if not Anakin.”

“My Jar’Kai outmatches anyone,” Ahsoka said grinning, she was sure Anakin would have beat her head-on. And Masters Yoda and Windu but no one else.

“That may be true, teaching it to Luke will be a challenge when we only have two lightsabers.” Master Kenobi ran his hand over his beard.

“Well, I want to know everything.” Luke surmised.

Force, he was Anakin's son. Which made her realise how loosely she’d been talking about Anakin, Yoda and the Jedi in the entirety. There was a lack of the ice in her heart she usually associated with it. The layers of complexity and pain related to them melted away just for a few minutes discussing like they might have just been back at the temple.

Chapter Text

Ahsoka

Ahsoka and Luke went through breathing exercises with master Kenobi before he left to rest. She had noted fear flit across Luke's face before he marshalled it back into calm, even managing to pull up rudimentary shields.

“Luke, that was quite impressive. I think you have better shields than I thought, your emotions and strength in the Force are just raw power. Strong as many adults. Makes this hard”

“Sorry?” Luke said, scrunching his eyebrows.

“Try and send me a specific message, gaining control of the ability to connect with the Force makes it easier to control shields.”

Luke screwed his face into concentration. She felt a rush of excitement and saw a bright light.

“Kark.''Ahsoka shook her head,” That was something else. You know you can hand it to me, you don't have to throw it at me.”

Luke smiled a lopsided smile, “I tried to send calm feelings to La’ara like my dad does with me and she said it felt like I attacked her too.”

“But with practice, you will be very good at sending emotions and thoughts. Some species have it easier than others, it’s not often strong with humans so I'm impressed.”

“What about the shields?”

“Well, first you need to just pay attention throughout the day. As Obi-Wan said, it takes time and things can break them. So you have to be ready for things to press on them.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

“You will also practice sending thoughts and feelings with your dad. Practice is really all I can offer. The more you use them and keep them up the stronger they will be.”

“No, I appreciate it. I'd never think to try passing whole thoughts. But won’t my dad be easier due to our bond?”

“Yes, but he’s really all you have to practice with.”

Ahsoka and Master Obi-Wan’s shields were similar now in strength but she definitely believed his had been destroyed after the war. You can push yourself into the soldier you need to be, fight, build shields so hard you can’t be yourself until you learn to make them flexible again. Or they shatter, and you shatter, and you have to build them up again. They may have had opposite reactions. She hid deeply in her mind, while Obi-Wan had just fallen apart. But she couldn’t judge, there was something she was missing that made Obi-Wan have to collapse to survive

~~~~~

Ahsoka was sitting on the bunk she’d been given thinking about how weird this situation was compared to what she’d been doing with the rebellion. These people were more relaxed, they clearly had a lot going on but they lacked the purpose of the rebellion. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when La’ara sat next to her. She was giving off waves of apprehension. 

“You need to talk,” Ahsoka said, a statement that she wasn’t going to dance around whatever it was La’ara wanted.

“You have the Force but you’re not a Jedi.”

“Yes.”

“I was wondering what that's like?”

“Well, I was raised as a Jedi, so from the time they brought me in as a toddler. I had the luxury of training with my powers.”

“Okay.” La’ara had defeated glassy eyes.

So she was worried about herself, that was clear. Wondering about her place now she knew this secret about herself. Ahsoka knew something about not being trusted by the people who raised you, except for her master. Anakin had been there for her.

“You were doing fine before. This doesn’t have to change anything.” Ahsoka knew that was banthashit the moment she said it.

“But it does change things. Because I thought something was wrong with me as a teenager. I felt things other people didn’t and it made me jumpy on top of my good for nothing father. Not to mention I saw him dying before he did, I passed out and had a vision of him getting sliced with a vibroblade the day before it happened and no one believed me and my mom told me it was just in my head. But I had to watch him die twice!

I dreamed about Ben the night before we ran back into him. I didn’t tell anyone even though I knew it was going to happen because I don't tell people about them. Do you understand? Even if I was never destined by the Force or the maker or whoever to be a Jedi I deserved to know. I deserved to know why I was different!” La’ara was radiating anger.

The loose objects in the area all raised a few inches off where they were sitting quickly crashing into a mess.

Ahsoka stepped back. La’ara needed to learn about the Force, and probably do some meditation or something because well she is clearly upset by what she perceived. If her powers were going to get more volatile due to learning about them...that was dangerous. 

“I’m so sorry people hid this part of you. It was always your right to know.” Ahsoka said, pressing a warm blanket of peace around the other woman.

The calm only served to push through the anger to the fear and sadness that usually underlined it. “I talked to Luke about some of it. He’s a sweet boy.” Tears ran down her face as she gave a smile to Ahsoka.

“He’s amazing. He will be an even better Jedi than those that came before.” Ahsoka said, returning the smile.

“Well yeah. He’s going to kark up every inquisitor”

“Yes.”

“But he’s also very empathetic and understanding for a child.”

“Yes and that will aid him. Power without kindness it’s worthless. Helping people is what those of us who follow the light should do, not just fight wars.”

“Good luck with that by the way. Keep our comm code, ask us again when Luke is older. That is if you haven’t by the luck of the stars overturned the empire already. We will help, maybe not hit the front lines. None of us is that great of gunners. But I promise we will help, I don't want anyone who would hurt a kid like Luke running the galaxy. Not sure how much you want spacers like us but we’ll help.”

“Any hands are wanted,” Ahsoka said, gripping the other woman’s shoulder.

~~~~~

“You know I once told Maul he could kill me but couldn't destroy me. Hate never could, I think the only thing that could get close is love."Obi-Wan said.

Ahsoka said nothing but brought her eyes to meet his.

“Hate, anger it’s never been appealing outside of fleeting moments. But knowing how much I hurt the ones I love, that puts me closest to despair and darkness as anything could.”

“All of this...this isn't about you.” Ahsoka said gesturing to the empty air, “I know you were on the council but you couldn’t have foreseen what the Emperor would do. The dark side was too powerful for just you to solve. The council did kark it up, but it’s not like they were special the whole republic government karked it up.”

“Ahsoka, thank you for saying that.”

Ahsoka knew he didn’t believe her. It was true that the council could never decide if they were part of the senate or they needed to be a-political. And it had failed. But no one person could carry that burden. But Obi-Wan would try. 

She had her own guilt with all the soldiers who were lost in the line of duty. As part of the alliance and before the clone wars. And for abandoning Anakin. She hoped Anakin had cared for her even when things fell apart. So she knew she was a bit of a hypocrite but at least she knew that the war wasn’t on her. If she truly believed that everything was on her maybe she would have collapsed. But maybe hitting things with a sabre was just her way of making things right, right to make the guilt less. 

“I'll give my com code to the crew. Only for emergencies. But you’ll have it.” Ahsoka informed Obi-Wan.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Ahsoka stood on the mossy ground next to the StarRunner.

“Thank you for letting me fly with you.” Ahsoka told all of them, “And I will remember your promise.”

“Good luck,” Alema said with a wave the others joined in on.

She bent next to Luke, “And I will see you again, young one. Be Brave Padawan.”

Luke was clearly biting back tears, his sadness flowing into Obi-Wan’s mind through their bond.

“And Master, May the Force be with you.”

They bowed to each other and Obi-Wan felt his heart sink into his stomach. It would be hard to worry for her, even if he knew she could take care of herself, he would worry anyway.

“Well Luke, I think cleaning duty of the hold is yours after we unload it all. Ben, you get to cook us a morning meal.” Mom Acroum instructed.

“Yes, of course,” Obi-Wan said, thankful to be given the next step.

“Fine,” Luke grumbled sitting on the ledge over the hold with his head leaning on the bar.

“Be good my Ad’ika,” Obi-Wan said, bending to kiss Luke's hair.

Luke ruffled his hair with his hand.

“I’m not a baby.”

Obi-Wan just shrugged.

Obi-Wan could cook but it wasn’t his best skill. But he did know a lot about different types of cuisine due to studying it for fun. The wild mix of provisions in the stores of the Star Runner had the title of being neither military rations nor the wide variety offered at the temple. 

But he made due, they had meat of some kind which cooked well with the spices they had stored and rice that was always an easy one. He served it out just as the rest of the people clambered in.

“Well, you didn’t burn anything,” La’ara commented but her eyes danced with friendliness. He had gotten used to her ribbing a long time ago.

“And we got some mostly fresh fruit too.” Alema smiled

They sat to eat Luke trailing in last and staring absentmindedly at his plate.

“We’ll see her again,” Obi-Wan said he wasn't sure if it was the Force or wishful thinking that prompted this statement.

“Yeah she has our com code, and we have hers.” Bialla nodded, “So if you really need her you can find her and vice versa.”

“That doesn’t help.” Luke slid off the bench with his food untouched, “I want to be alone.”

“You can eat your food in your room if you want to be alone. Just eat on the floor so it’s easier to clean if you make a mess.” Mom Acroum instructed

Luke gave them an annoyed look but took his plate with him.”

“When we’re done can we talk?” La’ara asked.

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be training Luke today so yes.” Obi-Wan agreed.

“He just needs time.” Alema said, “He’s feeling a loss. That takes time.”

“I know that,” Obi-Wan said avoiding adding sharpness to his voice.

~~~~~

La’ara and Obi-Wan walked through the marsh to the small patch of dry ground where he took Luke to train where no one could see them. If he was right and she wanted to know about Jedi, this was a good place where only the swamp creatures could hear them.

“So what is it you need to talk about?”

“I think you know.” She said

“You want to know about the Jedi, about the Force.”

“Yes.”

Obi-Wan sat down cross-legged hands on his knees. La’ara copied.

“You know one’s not meant to have more than one Padawan at a time.”

“I’m not a Padawan, I’m not a mini Jedi.”

“I know. It was mostly a joke. I’m not going to ask you to commit to anything.”

“Good.”

“I will listen to your questions.”

“The Force. The dreams it gives of the future, is that normal for you people?”

“You’ve had visions?”

“The two times I was going to see you after the first time. I had dreams before it happened.”

“And before that?”

“My father's death, when I was attacked once in a spaceport, and our spaceship crashing when I was younger. That’s what had me planet-bound when I met you. Those are the clear ones. I’ve had feelings about a lot of things.”

Obi-Wan considered that for a minute stroking his beard. It was a long list of significant visions for one with no training. Visions were common enough but they tended to be non-specific, it wasn’t normal for so many to be so clear. Knowing the future could be dangerous, and always extremely stressful for the person the force gave visions to.

But one thing was clear, The Force wanted them to be together, she was already important to him and Luke as a friend. But if the Force was this determined for them to be together then her importance must link to Luke's future. But at the moment what mattered was helping his friend. She didn’t deserve to be in the pain she was radiating.

“Visions happen through the Force there isn’t anything wrong with you. We even had Jedi who could give long term prophecies. You’re not alone, though it is odd for them to be so clear cut with your lack of training.”

“What does that mean?”

“That I was right about your connection is as strong as a Jedi’s would be. And that the Force finds these events important.”

“And the hyper empathy I feel! That's the Force too? Knowing what others are feeling? That's Force stuff too?”

“Yes, I would assume.”

“Now that I know what’s happening it’s been worse. When I talked to Fulcrum, I made things move. I don’t remember ever being able to do that.”

“That must have been frightening, fear it can make those of us with a connection to the Force dangerous to ourselves and others.”

“It is terrifying.”

“It doesn’t have to be, I can help. I don’t have to teach you the tenets of being Jedi Or fight with a lightsabre, your blaster skills are impressive enough.”

“Thank you. I’ve always been a good shot.”

“Quite. But what I mean is that I want to teach you to control the emotions and feelings you have. It will help you stop being overwhelmed. And not make this late realisation of the Force too hard to handle.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s start with meditation, being able to clear your mind and centre yourself is important to being able to handle Force enhanced emotions.”

And they did, but it did not go smoothly. Obi-Wan would trade a squirming four-year-old over this any day. 

“I’m trying.” She whined.

“Do or do not there is no try.” Obi-Wan recited reflexively.

“Kark you.”

“That’s enough for now. You can join me and Luke tomorrow. Maybe he’ll be of help.”

~~~~~

Obi-Wan thought about the visions his friend had, it was making his body shake and he couldn’t place why. Then the memory came swimming up of Anakin describing his dreams of his mother. He hadn’t let Anakin go to her, and she’d died. The thought was cruel, that Anakin had to witness his mothers death, just like he’d witnessed Qui-Gons, it was the closest analogue he had. It wasn’t a mother, he didn’t have any for all intents and purposes. But it had hurt Anakin; he’d burned with sadness and anger. Obi-Wan hadn’t known what to do. 

Which of course Obi-Wan had never really been good with emotions. And then there had been a war on. Which was an excuse, he shouldn’t have them. He’d tried and he’d failed. And if his present situation of having a panic attack in his cabin was any sign he had not really gotten that much better. But he had to be, he had to for Luke, and for La’ara. He couldn’t abandon them because of his issues, his past. 

Sitting against the wall he looked at his hands which wouldn’t stop shaking. Force damn it. He’d have to meditate without Luke this evening to avoid sharing too much emotion through their bond. Speaking of Luke, where had he gone? He could feel him but his brain was too scrambled to place him in their ship.

He glanced and saw the breakfast dish mostly uneaten sitting at the edge of the bedside table. His heart jumped into his throat he ran into the common room, no Luke. The nose gun, the cockpit he found Bialla running checks but no Luke. He ran to the cargo bay and let out a breath half sitting half falling to the floor.

Luke was talking to Alema half leaning on Arr Three

“Dad, are you okay?” Luke stood up quickly climbing the ladder and putting his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

“Just couldn’t find you. Got worried.”

“I’m fine.” Luke said wringing his hand's face still had worry written across it, “I was practising Twi'leki with Alema and ArrThree.”

“Oh good. I’m glad.” Obi-Wan mumbled soundly, feeling very foggy in the head.

“Want to get something to drink?” Luke suggested getting to his feet.

“Sure Ad’ika,” Obi-Wan said, getting to his feet following Luke to the common room.

Sitting in the kitchen drinking melroon juice he listened to Luke chat with ArrThree helping the robot learn Twi'leki he was learning so the robot could talk to Alema too. The robot was giving sarcastic remarks about Luke's pronunciation. But Obi-Wan found it pretty good. Luke was good with languages, having been trilingual most of his life. Adding a fourth language was very impressive even so.

Obi-Wan felt calmer watching the interaction. It was so Luke to learn how to speak Twi’leki to make Alema feel less alone. Unfailingly kind and to teach it to the droid was just so adorable.

“You’re a good kid,” Obi-Wan said with a fond smile crossing his face.

“Thank you. I’m sorry for sulking this morning.”

“That’s perfectly fine Luke. I can’t fault you for being upset that Fulcrum left.”

“She’s family.”

“Yes she’s mine as well, you will get through it. Letting people go out of our lives is important” He winced at his advice, karking hypocritical banthashit. He hadn’t let Luke go to his relatives, he didn’t regret it for one moment, and he was sure now Luke needed to be trained. And of course, there was no guarantee he would have been safe on Tatooine. But it didn’t mean his original reason wasn’t doused in selfish attachment. 

“Dad. You're going to be okay. You always told me that the two of us would be okay?” Luke interrupts his thoughts with a weak smile. Luke was clearly nervous, his statement coming out a question. 

“You will be okay, Luke. I will always do everything I can to keep you safe.”

“Okay.” Luke said, “And I will keep you safe too Buir.”

“That isn’t your job.”

“I don’t care,” Luke said determination flowing off him, cutting through his earlier nerves. “You need me.”

“Okay, dear one.” Obi-Wan gave in, Luke was clearly set in this belief.

Luke was his life, and it was Obi-Wan’s duty and honour to raise and protect him. It hurt him that Luke thought he had to take care of his own dad, but it was also clear why, because Obi-Wan did need him. He would have lived if he had given luke to the Lars family, he still would have had luke to take care of. But Obi-Wan was sure he would have lost touch with reality. So maybe they could be essential to each other. 

~~~~~

Lar’ara, Luke and Obi-Wan sat in a circle in the clearing of the swamp.

“I promise this really isn't that bad,” Luke said to La’ara

“Sure kid. I tried it yesterday and I think I almost gave Ben an aneurysm.”

“Stressing him out is easy.” 

“True.”

“I do get it, meditation can be hard if your brain is super loud,” Luke said sympathetically.

“Well, my mind is definitely loud lately.”

Obi-Wan realised that likely she had never gotten close to meditation before, he and Luke had both started the moment they could even approximate staying still. Maybe a movement meditation would be better. Allowing her to focus on something tangible could improve her ability to channel her focus.

“If we do some movement with our meditation you might see good results. We won’t start with task meditation but more of stretching style.” Obi-Wan explained

Directing positions for them to stand and move though did seem to work. La’ara calmed greatly and her breathing evened out. Luke seemed to like it as well; his generally choppy style when it came to exercise became fluid. Obi-Wan on the other hand was not loving this. It didn’t bring the same peace of mind his normal way of practising did. 

After a while, they all sat down all covered in sweat from consistent motion in the sticky air of Quesh. 

“I’ll go over the basics of the Force. Having a settled mind and body makes understanding and connecting with the Force easier.

The Force is an energy field that binds all things together. The living Force flows through all things that are alive and produces the Force. Everyone has their own place in the Force, their individual spirits. It is forever in communication and symbiosis with the cosmic Force that can link and communicate with all things. Our connection with the Force allows us to manipulate ourselves and the world around us, and to perceive the Force in unique ways, like being able to read emotions in the Force and have an idea of what others are thinking. Augment our own stamina, improve our senses. It also allows bonds and connections in the Force.

When we all die we become one with the cosmic Force. Which is why the Jedi believe there is no death, there is only the Force.”

“Okay, the energy field connects everything. We have spirits that are a part of the living Force and because we are Force-sensitive it allows us to connect more to this energy field?” La’ara surmised.

“Very good.”

“So you said I could learn to not let all the emotions outside overwhelm me right?”

“Luke.” Obi-Wan nodded towards his son.

“Well, you have to learn to identify emotions and thoughts as not yours first,” Luke suggested.

Obi-Wan nodded his encouragement. 

“Which can be pretty easy if you practice on the ship when everything is calm. You know what the people around you feel like in the Force so you can easily pick your emotions out. And once you get good at that you can identify those that aren’t yours and let them go.” Luke continued. 

“Very good Luke. You will also have to learn to let your own emotions go as well in order to manage the Force. But I'll admit I struggle with that portion.`` Obi-Wan said

“Yeah, it's hard.” Luke nodded.

“Let’s show her how it works.” Obi-Wan said, “Get your best reading on my emotions you can.”

La’ara focused and he could feel the intent of her on him. He let his feelings roll off easily letting her get a latch on the amused calms and then pulled his shields up blocking her out of the emotions holding them back.

“Wow, I’d never noticed how you can lock out so much of it. It's like going from a river to a drip.”

“It also can be used the other way to make the emotions coming in less intense. To sieve through the emotions and manage their impact.”

La’ara nodded and looked at the ground thinking. Obi-Wan could read her signature had gone soft and she was in a calmer state than even before. It was an impressive level of calm for someone whose energy was generally better than the child next to them. He hoped it was good though. He’d seen this kind of calm before the storm with some people. But that had never been La’ara, she told you what she thought to your face, something Obi-Wan liked. Their crew was mostly like that. Alema is less so than the others, generally a more tightly wound. Bialla was just generally laid back and it was amazing how much it wasn’t an act. 

His dissection of the crew was cut short when La’ara looked up, eyes a bit watery.

“I want to say thank you for even being willing to help me. I know I'm not a Jedi so I don’t really deserve to know these things.”

“La’ara my friend you deserve it,” Obi-Wan reassured

Obi-Wan wondered if others thought the Jedi didn’t find them deserving of knowledge of the Force. It was their intention to safeguard it, but maybe they should have used those Jedi who chose to educate to also educate non-Jedi on the Force.

But that might have been seen as proselytizing 

Their cloistered lifestyle had been part of why the public had turned on them, they didn’t view Jedi as part of them, and maybe that had been returned. They’d served the republic, it had been something Obi-Wan had believed in with everything he had, democracy, the order he thought had existed but hadn’t. But had the Jedi been considered part of the republic as much as the rest?

“Hey, Buir you in there?” Luke waved his hand in Obi-Wan's face.

“Yes, Ad'ika, just contemplating my place in the order of the galaxy.”

“Oh, just that. So simple.” La’ara said, shrugging a half-smile on her face.

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke missed Ahsoka deeply; she'd been part of the family. He hoped his dad was right and they would see her again. 

But right now he couldn’t focus on that. He couldn’t dwell on these feelings. It’s what his dad always said. But this sadness was immediate. Not a feeling that blended into the background like his longing for his mother and father, that just existed always there. But missing Ahsoka was right now, knowing she was going to go fight and she could get hurt that was going on now. She wasn't dead already but she could die any time fighting the empire. And he knew he was meant to help protect everyone but he was still too small. 

He kicked the table leg and scowled. 

“We okay little one?” Bialla asked, sitting heavily next to him on the bench, “You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s okay to not be fine,” Bialla said

“I have to be for my dad.”

“He has the rest of us, we'll help him too. It’s not all on you.”

“But it’s always going to be the two of us. When you all leave it will be just us.” Luke screamed, after he shouted it he realised that’s what was bothering him. Ahsoka leaving meant all of this could go away.

“That’s what’s bothering you. You think we’ll leave you and your dad behind?” 

“Of course you will. We’re a problem aren’t we?”

“You’re not a problem. You’re my family.” Bialla assured.

“Being family doesn’t mean you get to stay together,” Luke said, hugging himself tightly, staring at the table blinking back tears.

“Luke, what’s wrong?” His dad’s voice cut in. He was suddenly in a one-arm hug by his dad's lips touching his hair, 

Luke couldn’t think all he could do was sob.

“He’s scared we’re going to leave him,” Bialla said over his head.

His dad said nothing, just let Luke cry. 

“My mom..and all my other family, they’re all gone. I’m never going to get to know them. And Ahsoka chose to leave us. It’s not fair, I can't do anything about any of it.” Luke explained tears and snot streamed into his mouth making him cough.

“It's okay Ad’ika. I know it hurts, but you can get through.” His dad said, pushing his hair off Luke’s hot face.

“Yeah. And even if you do leave you can always come back.” Bialla explained, “We’d never let you go without our com code.”

“You need to understand that I love you completely and every day.” His dad said.

“Yeah, I love you too. We all do. And that's not bound by distance.” Bialla said the words came out softly and made Luke shudder and sob again.

“Or death?” Luke asked.

“The love one has, it becomes part of the Force. Love is the very fabric of the universe.” His dad said softly.

Luke nodded. His dad never joked about the Force, so it had to be true. His mother and father loved him. And the idea that this crew loved him was something he had never thought to believe, but he felt it now streaming off of her the same soft warmness he felt from his dad. 

“This calls for chocolate!” Biallia announced.

~~~~~

Luke stood in the clearing deflecting blaster bolts with the new set of Soresu moves he’d learned while his dad commented on his stance or blade position periodically. His mind kept drifting through thinking of all the rush of emotions their crew had been through lately. And of how scared his dad had looked that day when he couldn’t find him. He knew they said they would always be there for his dad, and that they loved him. But that didn’t solve what would happen if it was ever just the two of them again. He knew how bad his dad had been only that year ago they had joined the crew, and he knew his dad had taken care of him as a baby. But now he would know and he’d feel responsible because this was on him, he was supposed to save the galaxy. How could he do that if he couldn’t save his dad?

His thoughts had brought him away from the moment and he hissed when a stun bolt hit his arm. 

“Focus son”

“Sure” Luke muttered as another bolt hit his arm 

“This requires your emotions to be under your control, breathe, let yourself be right here right now.”

Luke ground his teeth, “I know”

His dad caught the droid without looking and shut it down. 

“You have to know how to set aside your feelings while in battle. It won’t do you well to be consumed by other places and times when a blaster is pointed at your head.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“Come on. Your flying lesson is after the midday meal so let’s get back.”

~~~~~

Taking off to head to the next planet had Luke feeling hazy like his emotions had him half-awake. 

“Once we’re in deep space but before we take to hyperspace I got your dad to agree to let you fly with me.” Aelma said ruffling Luke’s hair, “Sound good?”

“ Wizard !” Luke breathed, flying for real, in actual space? It would be just the thing to jog him from this haze.

Waiting around he jumped from foot to foot as ArrThree chittered instructions about how to fly safely. He seemed very afraid Luke would try and Light-speed skip which Luke kept telling him he didn’t even know what that meant

“I may have light-speed skipped the Runner once,” Alema said with a sheepish smile.

“She could’ve killed us!” Bialla said, “ArrThree here was copiloting at the time, the poor thing is traumatised!”

“I had to try! And we didn’t die so it was a success, I’m very rarely reckless, you have to give me a break.” Alema complained.

“We’re good! Luke you’re up!”La’ara called letting Alema and Luke up to fly the ship.

Luke sat in the pilot seat vibrating as he looked out at the stars. 

“Pretty cool huh?” Alema said, sounding breathless, “God I love it up here. I was born in space, you know. Learned to walk in artificial gravity. When we found a planet to land on, I was about I don’t know your age? Anyway, I remember saying the gravity felt funny. I miss our home, but I think I was meant for the stars. La’ara is the same way, she only ever lived planetside for like a year? Her mom too. Multi-generational spacers.”

“I’ve been in space a lot too. I know what you mean about being meant for the stars. My dad’s brother loved flying, I wish he had been here to teach me.”

“He should've been. That war.” She shook her head leku shaking slightly, “Anyway, time to get you set.”

Luke was nervous and he did jerk the ship a bit as he got started but then he flew true. It was almost easier than flying on quesh there were no trees to run into. Giddy energy ran through him as he tried to not accidentally spin the ship.

A good twenty minutes flowed by and Luke got into the rhythm of everything.

<Good work Luke thanks for not doing anything crazy> ArrThree’s comment rolled across the screen.

“So far. I can tell he’ll eventually be a daredevil” Alema joked.

<I know> ArrThree commented.

“Okay hand control over to me I’ve got to get us into hyperspace.”

“Show me how to do that soon?” Luke asked.

“Eventually. Your voice has to drop before we show you how to do that.” La’ara said coming into the cockpit

“I can use the Force,” Luke whined

“Still a kid, Luke.” Alema sighed but gave him a soft smile.

~~~~~

Luke jumped up when he could feel his dad's mind turn fuzzy through their bond. The shields slammed down quickly afterwards but he could tell something was wrong. Luke raced from the living area to their room. 

His dad was breathing heavily, his head in his hands.

"Buir you okay?" Luke said softly.

"Yes, Luke I'm alright...I'm alright"

"That wasn't very convincing" Luke grumped.

"I'm fine luke." His dad said but he still sounded out of it.

Luke bit his lip and brushed his floppy hair from his eyes. "Dad, I know something is wrong, just talk to me!"

"Luke. I promise. I will be okay." His dad took his hands in his hands, "You're correct right this moment I'm not, well. But I will be okay."

"Promise," Luke said, squinting his eyes.

"I promise. You and I? We will be okay."

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan scrubbed his face with his hand. They were docked at a space station and Luke vibrated next to him with a grin.

“It’s my birthday!” Luke cheerd.

“I know.”

“And this year I get to choose my own present!”

“I know that.”

“I’m a whole ten years old.”

“I know”

“Can I get anything I want?”

“Of course,” Obi-Wan nodded, then caught himself, “if it’s safe.”

“Really glad you added that.” La’ara said, “My ship couldn’t take it”

“What’s safe?” Luke said as the airlock opened onto the major thoroughfare of the space station

“Not here,” Obi-Wan whispered. His throat felt tight at the bustle of the station, people shouting and yelling smells of food wafted up. He wished he could still keep his lightsaber at his hip. Having it clipped on the back of his belt felt too exposed. 

“Nothing that explodes, nothing huge, and nothing alive.” La’ara listed out.

“Can do!” Luke said, walking quickly forward.

Obi-Wan deeply hated crowds at this point, there were way too many people who could hurt Luke here. Thankfully the empire's presence was limited to non-existent. Luke had stopped in front of a vendor of all things jewellery.

“Can I have that?” He asked, pointing to what looked very much like the necklace Padmé had been buried with.

Obi-Wan swallowed deeply, “Do you know what it is?”

“I don’t think so. But it feels like I should have it.”

“Yes, you can have it.”

“I can hang it with the pendant you got me from Naboo.”

“You should wear it.” La’ara said, “If I’m not mistaken it’s good luck on Tatooine. It’s called a japor snippet.”

Obi-Wan breathed in and Luke turned, making meaningful eye contact with him. The word father floated between them through their bond.

They went through the whirlwind after that. Luke asked what everything was incessantly in an endearing way if it was a bit annoying to try and talk over the thrum of the station. 

La’ara bought fairy floss from one station for Luke to eat while they walked. 

“I need tools,” Luke said, walking to a station full of tools for working on droids and ships.

“We have plenty, ”La’ara said looking confused.

“Yeah but these would be mine, so I could do maintenance without anyone having to help.”

“I’ll get them for you, Luke.” La’ara and Obi-Wan said simultaneously.

“We split the difference. The others already bought him something which he’ll love. Even goes with these.” La’ara explained.

They both put their credits together getting the tools in a bright red box.

Halfway to the food section Luke had to give the box over to Obi-Wan when it got too heavy. Obi-Wan led Luke by the hand for the rest of the trip. The section with food and real necessities for ships was crowded beyond belief. Getting back on the ship the other women were stacking their provisions in the storage.

Sitting at the table in the common room a stack of pancakes were on the table.

“Night Meal!

Luke took a huge bite of the pancakes, the blue butter running down his face.

“I love this kid! Did you know that?” La’ara joked sitting next to Luke stretching her arms on the bench.

“Well, he is such a lovely kid.” Mom Acourm said.

“So what do we do with such a lovely kid?” Alema joked.

Luke looked up at them tilting his head, “What?”

“Tada!” Bialla plopped a box on the table.

“You couldn’t have waited till we were done eating?” Obi-Wan sighed leaning out of Luke's way as he grabbed for the box pulling it to him. He ripped it open and looked at a droid shaped like a loth cat.

“Amazing!” Luke cheered, “What is it?”

“It’s a loth cat.” Obi-Wan explained, “It's the same kind of animal as your toy.”

“I see that!”Luke said, rolling his eyes, but his eyes sparkled his feelings in the force, nothing but joy.

“We thought you might want your own toy so you don’t keep distracting ArrThree,” Bialla explained

“Oh, I'm sorry.” Luke hung his head, “I don’t mean to distract him.”

“No, ah, no. Kid, I'm sorry I meant it as a joke. You can talk to ArrThree whenever you want.” Bialla said, wringing her hands.

Luke nodded slowly, met the eyes of the others then glanced at Obi-Wan.

“Say thank you, Luke,” Obi-Wan said nodding his head

“Oh right, Thank you,” Luke said.

“We should finish eating then you can turn it on,” Obi-Wan suggested.

The others agreed.

Luke stuffed the pancakes in his mouth and then grabbed the box sitting on the ground and turned the toy feline on. 

“Hello,” Luke said, waving.

<Hello Master>

Luke cheered, “You work”

The loth cat let out a series of noises that didn’t seem to mean anything.

“Can you roll over?”

The robot did as so.

“Jump?”

It jumped.

And Obi-Wan tuned out Luke working out every skill the loth cat had. His hands were shaking and he had a headache. The outing had been a bit much. He ate the oversweet pancakes and the sudden urge to have a drink. Ugh, where did that come from? Drinking to cope is a bad sign. Obi-Wan had drunk from stress before sometimes too much, it seemed to be a common thing throughout the species, some kind of intoxication on bad days. But he hadn’t had an urge to do something like that since the clone wars. 

But today hadn’t been that bad, he’d managed to not meltdown with the reminder of Anakin and Tatooine. By extension Naboo. Two of the times he’d been unable to save the people who needed him. 

All of that sadness piled upon him and he needed to meditate. Wondered if he could still enter a meditative state in places with ambient noise.

Obi-Wan breathed in deeply and placed his hands on his lap. He focused on letting the noise wash over him with the Force. Let it all become part of it. But the force couldn't calm him fully. But eventually sleep overtook him and threw him into a world of nightmares.

~~~~~

Obi-Wan woke up when he was shaken by luke.

“Hey, Adi’ka.”

“Slept the rest of the day, night, and next morning. 

“Oh kirff.” Obi-Wan said,'' I'm sorry.”

“It's okay you got through shopping!”

“Yeah. How are the bots doing?”

“I think they’ll be good, I like having a droid. I can learn to update myself without worrying about breaking the ship.”

“You get that from Anakin he was always messing with droids.”

“Learn from you though when I was little. And then from Bialla and La’ara working on ArrThree and the ship.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“All of you make me who I am,” Luke said and obi-wan could see the gloss of tears over his eyes. I wish my father had gotten to teach me about mechanics and droids.”

“I wish that too dear one,” Obi-Wan said, holding Luke’s face in his hand.

“I want you to be okay dad.” Luke’s voice was watery.

“I’m okay.”

Their conversation was interrupted by La’ara calling from the hold. 

“Ben, I need a hand.” 

Obi-Wan sighed walking into the docking port and seeing the familiar shape of a Mandalorian in her full armour standing there.

“Kenobi.”

It was the voice of Bo-Katan Kryez

“Kark my life. Come inside the ship we can’t discuss anything out here.” Obi-Wan grumbled.

“You are hiding out with some nobody smugglers,” Bo-Katan said,

La’ara looked about to open her mouth but he shot her a look hoping she could read the danger in the situation. “I’m going to go check on the crew” she mumbled

“These are my friends. They’ve been kind enough to allow me to ride with them.” Obi-Wan explained.

“I saw you in the station.”

“I missed you. Guess you were good at hiding....”

“Ahsoka is she alive?” Bo-Kata cut him off.

“Yes, she is.”

“Good.”

A few moments of silence.

The pain coming off her in waves made Obi-Wan sigh. The deep ache mirrored his own, both of them had lost loved ones.

“What of Mandalore?” Obi-Wan aked

“Mandalore? It’s owned by the empire like everything else. They want us for weapons and resources.”

“I’m sorry.”

So they’d both lost their homes too.

“I know you are. Doesn’t change anything.”

She wasn’t just talking about Mandalore, she meant her sister too. 

“I think about her too.”

“Don’t do your Jedi mind reading.” She said but there was little venom in her voice, “I’ve seen it used for ill.”

“I understand.” Obi-Wan placed his hands in his sleeves, folding them across himself, “What do you need from me?”

“Well, I have a reason relating to the war. But first...Satine and i. We were not really close for much of the time...”

“Dad, are you okay?” Luke came barging in with a lightsaber in his hand face set.

Bo-Katan blinked and glanced at Obi-Wan. She put her hands on her hips expectantly.

“I told him you’d call if you needed something, ”La’ara said tiredly.

“You said a scary Mandalorian lady wanted to speak to my dad alone. And then he felt really sad.” Luke explained keeping his lightsaber held in a very well done Schi-Cho beginning stance, he could stay ready to fight and have a shouting match. Good kid.

“I knew her during the clone wars,” Obi-Wan explained.

“I’m Satine's sister.”

Luke looked between them eyes wide.

“So at least you tell people about her now,” Bo-Katan grumbled.

“Everyone knew about her at the temple, to be perfectly honest. We just didn’t talk about it out loud. And that's not fair you didn’t tell anyone you were related.”Obi-Wan explained.

“It wouldn’t have been politically advantageous,” Bo-Katan said, jutting her chin out.

“No, you were too busy being a terrorist,” Obi-Wan said

“Well, we’re all criminals now.” She huffed, staring at her feet for a second before looking up “Back to the matter at hand, is he Satine’s?”

“No, he’s not,” Obi-Wan said, That was what she wanted? No, there was something else.

“So you were seeing someone else when Satine was in love with you.” Bo-Katan countered.

“I’m capable of loving more than one person at a time,” Obi-Wan said.

“He did love your sister.” Luke said, “I can tell it when he talks about her.”

“You got a mini Jedi up there?” Bo-Katan said tone agitated

“I’m going to be the best Jedi.” Luke defended.

“You’ll be the only one,” Bo-Katan commented.

“Fulcrum’s still out there!” Luke said.

“Don’t know that one. But I am glad you’re not alone.”

“What was your other question about?” Obi-Wan asked.

“I’ll only talk to you alone. Send your crew and the mini Jedi away.”

“I’m a person and my name’s Luke.” Luke shot back

“Okay. Luke and the crew aren't needed..” Bo-Katan said.

“Yes. I need a word with my son first.” Obi-Wan agreed.

“I and La’ara will wait for you.”

Bo-Katan shrugged, sliding her helmet on as she and La'ara left.

They stood in the cabin and he brushed the hair from his son’s eyes, Obi-Wan found himself dreading being far away from Luke. He had no long this was going to take. But he felt obligated to at least hear Bo-Katan out.

“Do not follow us,” Obi-Wan warned.

“Why are you going with her?”

“Luke search your feelings. Did she feel malicious?”

“No...just stressed and really driven.”

“Well she’s a Mandalorian, they're just like that.”

Luke half-smiled. And then fell into his father hugging him deeply.

“Be safe. Come home. I don’t want to be alone.” Luke begged.

“I will do my best.”

“No, you will come back. I need you to finish training me so I can do my destiny as Qui-Gon said.”

Curse Qui-Gon Obi-Wan thought. Giving Obi-Wan two chosen ones, and that Qui-Gon had fucked up by telling a little child they had to save everything. 

“Be good. Stay in the ship.”

~~~~~

Obi-Wan followed Bo-Katan through the throng and came up to a small room hidden in the middle of the station.

“Here's the deal. The empire will be coming through this sector, they have our beskar on it. We’re going to release the shipment.”

“All of this for metal?” La’ara questioned.

“No. More importantly, they have enslaved and war prisoners on board this ship, some of them are Mandalorian. We can liberate them as well. We have the tech here to remove the enslaved people’s chips too.” Bo-Katan explained. 

“I’ll do it.” La’ara and Obi-Wan said together.

“Thank you, Kenobi.” 

“I’ll get to see if you're all the holo-dramas said you were. Maybe find out why Maul was so obsessed.” A Mandalorian he didn’t know commented.

“Oh, this is Koska and Axe,” Bo-Katan explained.

“Wait...You're that Kenobi? The one that was always with the hero with no fear.” La’ara said, eyes going large.

“Yes.” Obi-Wan sighed, dragging his hand down his face.

“So your brother in your stories. Is it the Anakin skywalker?”

“You didn’t explain your history to your crew?” Bo-Katan asked.

“I’m trying to pretend to not be a Jedi. The inquisitors are after Jedi, and younglings like Luke.”

“We won’t make you use your lightsaber till we’re on the ships.” Bo-Katan agreed, “I don’t want you to die.”

“Wow thanks,” Obi-Wan drawled

“No problem,” Bo-Katan said.

She and Koska walked them through the plan. It was a good one too. And having La’ara meant instead of teams of two there would be an extra pair of hands.

“We have to go now.” Axe explained.

“After you,” Obi-Wan said, gesturing to the door.

~~~~~

The imperial ship was way too easy to sneak into when it docked. Stormtroopers were not up to what Obi-Wan would want in guard, he didn’t even have to draw his sabre, his use of the force knocked many out and the blasters took out the rest.

Halfway to securing the bridge, there was finally a challenge. He noticed Bo-Katan stopping just briefly enough to put Obi-Wan in the front.

“You could all just leave the ship. And we wouldn’t have to hurt you.” Obi-Wan asked the troopers, not really expecting any to leave but he had to try.

“What are you going to do, you’re unarmed.”

“You just... why does no one ever take the out,” Obi-Wan mumbled grabbing his lightsaber and parrying back their blaster fire sadly this meant many died. It was these times he felt both the most and least like a Jedi. Jedi weren’t meant to kill their opponents, but Obi-Wan knew that he couldn’t let them very well kill his friends by doing nothing. It made his head hurt to question his own decisions.

Taking the bridge was simple and he was impressed that La'ara was only shaking a bit after Bo-Katan but a blaster bolt through the captain’s head.

“I don’t like this.” La’ara said, “I’ve felt death before but never this much so fast.” She mumbled.

“Oh kark, is she a Jedi as well?”Bo-Katan grumbled.

“I’m not a Jedi. I just don’t normally cut down this many soldiers.” She had her arms around her, “It’s so cold.”

“Yes, death is like that.” Obi-Wan said, “I felt it so often on the battlefield.”

“We can have a conversation about feelings and death after I get those enslaved people free,” Bo-Katan said.

“I'll release the cages from here,” Obi-Wan said, moving to the controls. The cages were released and he also whipped all of the data so no footage of what happened would be recoverable.

“Plant these.” he said passing La’ara electro charges, “This will wipe the backups I can't get manually.”

She nodded, Obi-Wan could feel a coil of fear inside it must be strangling her but she was solid hadn’t missed a beat. Kirff he was so proud.

It was easy to locate the beskar as well. 

They met up with the other group. A palette of beskar and twenty enslaved people was worth the death, it had to be.

Getting off the ship was tough due to the scared people. In the small room they started in they removed the slave chips.

“Thank you.” A Mandalorian war prisoner said, “They took me after I spoke out against them, and maybe was trafficking some weapons”

“Of course.”

What looked like a de facto leader of the enslaved people came over with a grimace on their face.

“We owe you thanks.”

“You owe me nothing.” Obi-Wan said, “It is a privilege to be able to help those in need.”

“Well thank you anyway.” She turned to Bo-Katan, “We have nothing to give you.”

“I don’t need you to do anything for me. Slavery is wrong.” Bo-Katan said firmly.

They passed the enslaved people to a contact of Bo-Katan to bring back to a safe planet.

The two Mandalorians talked with Axe and Koska. Bo-Katan came over to him.

“Vor entye”

“Ba'gedet'ye!”

“You remember your Mando’a”

“Yes. Taught it to Luke as well.”

‘You and Luke I want you to come and eat with us on our ship”

“Why?”

“As thanks. You put your life on the line to help us.”

“Saving people is worth it.”

“But you would have helped me even if it was just the beskar.”

“Yes. I am here for the Mando'ade.”

“As you should be,” Bo-Katan said with a smile and a conviction that was the signature of the clan Kryze.

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke jumped up as he felt his dad moving towards them. He rocked on his feet and the other crew gave him looks that clearly said calm down. But they couldn’t feel his La’ara, she was confused and tired. Something had happened. 

La’ara came in first and she looked stricken.

“I’m going to go lay down,” she mumbled,

“Luke, Bo-Katan has asked us to have our Night Meal.”

“The Mandalorians? I thought they were dangerous.”

“They’re as deadly as they come, but they mean us no harm.”

“You sure you want to go alone?” Bialla asked.

“We’re not alone as long as we have each other.” Luke surmised.

“Sure buddy.” Bialla ruffles his hair.

“Can I borrow a blaster?” His dad asked, holding out a hand.

“Course.” Alema tossed hers. 

“I’m not expecting inquisitors, but I am expecting other dangerous people. People I can beat with a blaster and won’t have to blow our cover.” His dad explained.

“Not to mention he should always carry one. Two weapons are better than one.” Bialla explained pointing at her dual holsters.

Luke didn’t have time to say anything as his hand was led towards the door.

The station was in its night cycle making everything slightly seedier. His dad was moving quickly. And Luke was dragged along. 

They got to a hanger bay with a medium-size ship with a person in blue armour that fit the description of Mandalorian.

The guard gave them a long look before gesturing with his blaster to go inside. 

They were led to a common room with food placed on the table.

The red-haired scary lady whispered something to a dark-haired lady and nodded their heads conspiratorially. Everyone but the scary lady walked out of the room.

“I’m Bo-Katan,” Bo-Katan said as a greeting. 

“I'm Luke.” 

“You know how to shoot that blaster Padawan?” She asked as she served food for all of them.

“Of course,” Luke said.

“Good. Knowing how to defend yourself is very important.” She nodded.

“Luke is very skilled with a blaster and a lightsaber.” His father said, “Bo-Katan why did you come to me? I'm sure I made the attack of the ship easier but you could have done it on your own.”

“I just..needed to know you were alive, I had to be sure if any Jedi lived. And of course to ask about Luke. But I also need to know what you know of the empire.”

“I’ve been on the run for a decade. I know as much as you do.”

“No.” he shook her head vigorously, “What do you know of how this all started.”

“Okay. Ask your questions.”

“The war. It was a setup the whole time?”

“I believe so, yes.”

“The Jedi, how true were the charges. And if you lie to me I swear on the galaxy I will kill you.”

“We did think Palpatine was suspect by the end, or at least his office. And we did spy on him. But we never wanted to run the galaxy. Honestly, we didn’t even want to be soldiers. I just wanted what was best for the republic.”

“The emperor is evil, he's a sith lord.” Luke cut in eyes jumping between the two adults. The energy in the room was tense. They managed to feel exhausted and exhilarated at once and Luke wasn’t sure he understood.

“Yes, he is Luke.”

“Sith. Like Maul...Maul. Have you seen him?” Bo-Katan asked.

“No.” His dad said,

“Ahsoka got him off my planet. But something tells me he didn’t die that day.”Bo-Katan had darkness in her signature as she spoke.

“Trusting the Force are we?” His dad said with a wry smile.

“Shut your mouth Kenobi. I know how powerful the Force is. But if it could actually help you predict the future we wouldn’t be in this mess.” 

“Maul is nothing compared to a real sith lord. I beat Maul as a Padawan, though he learned over time. But Sidious I’ve not faced him, but I did face his apprentice and I can tell you Maul was not the same.”

“You fought Vader?”

“Yes. At the start of the war....it was complicated. The rest of the council was gone, my friends. I was already off-balance, but I did live.”

“So did he.”

“Well, I didn't mean to do that part.”

Luke saw his dad's hands shake violently under the table, he could feel fear starting to rise in his dad. 

“Do you have a plan for resistance?” Luke asked, taking his dad’s hand under the table, sending a sense of calm through their bond.

“Not yet. But I will, I won't let Manadalore stay under the hand of the empire. Even if it takes my whole life when I die, Mandalore will be free.”

“I deeply hope that is true.” His dad nodded solemnly

“I hope you find more of your own people.” Bo Katan said

“It would be nice to find someone alive.” Luke said, “I want to meet them. Dad has such stories.”

His dad just shook his head, uncertainty and guilt flowing through their bond. They all sat in unnerving quiet while they ate. It wasn’t broken until they were almost done and Bo-Katan announced. 

“We have some Uj'alayi.” 

“Sounds good.” His dad agreed, “You’ll love this Luke, I know you like anything sweet. It was a favourite of the troopers.”

The dessert was really good. The company however was awkward. His dad and Bo-Katan kept stopping and starting their conversation. They had a past but it had been complicated meaning they couldn’t trade stories. And it wasn’t the family kind of complicated like Ahsoka and his Dad. 

Maybe his dad had heard his thought clearly as he brought up Ahsoka.

“Ahsoka was good, relatively I mean when I saw her.”

“Of course, she’s strong.”

“A survivor.”

A long pause filled the air before one of the Mandalorians rushed in.

“We need to get going.” They announced.

“Okay.” Bo-Katan agreed.

She gripped his dad’s wrist and nodded, “Ret'urcye mhi”

“May the Force be with you.”

His Buir took Luke’s hand and left the ship flipping their hoods up as they left.

~~~~~

The morning after their night meal with Bo-Katan Luke was stopped outside his cabin when he heard La’ara and his father talking in hushed voices.

“I felt my father die...but I never felt so much at once. I’ve shot, I've fought. But I don’t know. It was too much at once.” La’ara said.

“It’s going to be okay. The cold dissipates over time, I promise.”

“They were afraid of you. Really afraid.”

“My guess is they never fought a Jedi. Only heard stories.”

“They were right to be afraid”

“Jedi die the same as anyone.”

And the door opened when Luke leaned a little too far in. He tumbled and landed at his dad’s feat.

“Eavesdropping?” La’ara said a slight edge to her voice.

“Yes,” Luke admitted.

“It’s okay Luke.” His dad said tiredly.

“But what do I do about it?” La’ara said, “I need to know.”

“You keep going.” His dad said, “I don’t have anything else for you to do but keep going.”

She nodded, hugging herself tightly.

“Can I join you in meditating tonight?”

“Of course.”

She walked out the door.

“You fought?” Luke asked.

“Yes. Stormtroopers. Bo-Katan she wanted to save enslaved people, and beskar.” His dad explained.

“That’s good though isn’t it?” Luke questioned.

“Of course. But La’ara isn’t used to that much death.”

Luke breathed in deep and nodded.

~~~~~

Luke and his dad practised their Soresu parrys in a cave while the crew did some shopping. They both stopped midway through moves. Luke could tell his dad had also felt the warning in the Force. Luke quickly slid next to his dad, clipping his lightsaber to his belt and grabbing his blaster. His dad did the same. 

A group of beings in a mix of styles of clothes walked up to them blasters held high.

“Hey look, we found some wandering people.”

“Wonder if they have anything worth taking.”

“I can promise you we don’t have anything worth taking.” His dad sighed. 

“I think the little one might be valuable, the adults too old but younglings can be sold for quite a lot.” The biggest enemy said. 

They grabbed Luke and held a blaster to his head.

“You don’t have to do this. You can give him back and leave without anyone being harmed.” His dad said calmly.

“Ha, what are you going to do?.”

“Can I dad?” Luke said, giving his dad a smile. Luke knew with the Force they could get out of this easily. These slaver pirates would regret this.

“Of course.” His dad said, returning the smile, “Stick with blasters this time.” 

Luke shook his head and a rock from the ground smacked into his captors face. That combined with a hard stomp on the food made him fall and Luke spun grabbing his blaster. 

The rest of the crew came running forwards, weapons blazing. 

But his dad and he were not going to be beaten by these sleemos. 

They moved back to back their bond and combat awareness had them moving as one. They sent blaster bolts hitting centre mass almost every time. A few went wide knocking into other body parts leaving men screaming on the ground.

A mix of mutilated or dead bodies surrounded them. The ones who could still run rushed away.

Luke was split between the cold he’d just been warned of in the death, and pride that they had won this so easily. He’d been able to protect his dad and he was only ten! He wouldn’t be helpless.

His dad brushed his hair out of his eyes turning to face Luke, “My Luke, I am so sorry this happened.”

“‘S not your fault.”

“No, but you are too young to face so many.”

“I’m going to be a Jedi right?”

“Of course my little sun.”

“So I have to be able to stop stupid slavers.”

“Okay...okay,” His dad mumbled and then bent down so he was eye level with Luke, “You did fantastically.”

Standing there looking at his dad luke’s felt fear cascade through him, he’d not felt it during the fight but now standing in the bodies he knew these were easy. But what about someone good at fighting? Would he have been able to help? 

~~~~~

Moving through a moving meditation set with his dad and La’ara, Luke felt the Force hum. It felt nice like he could feel his dad’s calm running through their bond, a rare thing. La’ara was also calm, something she hadn’t been for days. It was also impressive for her to be able to fall into the meditation so fully. 

Luke breathed his thoughts away letting the calm run through him but he kept his shields up except for his dad with his bond. He had to remember to do so. Being attacked by the slavers had Luke worried about getting into anything with someone like an inquisitor who could read him. It terrified him that he would let them know too much. About who his father was, who his dad is or something about the ship and crew. He knew now he was better, he was able to fight pretty well, but it didn’t mean that they wouldn’t be able to get away had it been just him. With his dad sure they would win. But alone? Not yet, not till he was a master like his dad, like his father. 

Damn his thoughts were swirling again.

“Ad’ika it will be okay.” His dad cut into his thoughts

“No, I’m not strong on my own,” Luke mumbled.

“You will be. It just takes time.”

“But what if my shields drop around an inquisitor? I can’t fight one of those yet. I Know we beat the slavers, but I'm afraid. I didn’t even realise I was so afraid” Luke said he could hear his fear in his warbling tone.

“Fear is normal. But don’t let it rule your thoughts, my son. If we let fear rule us we let in the dark side.”

“You do, you’re always afraid.”

“I know. But I must ask you to be better, I know that’s unfair. But I deeply believe you will be.”

Luke started to feel tears on his face and he grabbed his dad by the waist. He felt his legs go limp, something in him letting go. He felt the hand of La’ara rubbing his back while his dad’s arms held him up.

His dad lowered them to the ground so they were sitting in a loose mix of arms and tired faces.

“I believe in you, Luke.” His dad said.

“Why?”

“Because I know you. You are going to be a great Jedi.” His dad said softly.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Luke moved against the hardest of the blast patterns of the training droids easily. He was a few days from being eleven and Obi-Wan was ready to teach him the next form. Teaching Shien & Djem Do wasn’t going to be as easy as the others. Obi-Wan would admit he wasn’t a true master of this form; he was completely competent and had taught Anakin who had taught Ahsoka. So he knew he could teach it fine, but he still felt a bit worried as there weren't any training programs or anyone to turn to. He didn’t have his fellow masters to ask about his Padawan.

“You're very proficient,” Obi-Wan said.

“Thank you!” Luke grinned.

Obi-Wan bowed to Luke who copied the gesture. Pride flowed through their bond.

Luke ran off calling that he had his flying lesson. A soft smile crossed Obi-Wan’s lips as he sat down to meditate on Luke's training. 

Apparently, he had let his intentions flow as Qui-Gon’s presence appeared in the room.

“I’m proud of my grand padawan.” Qui-Gon’s teasing voice appeared.

“Luke is moving along well,” Obi-Wan said he was proud of his son too. And was glad he wasn't checking up on Obi-Wan’s progress with being able to move into the Force he was still unsure how.

“He’s abilities in the Force are lagging.”

“Yes we should practice more Force connected combat, maybe try moving some junk next time we cross a scrapyard. That can be helpful in combat.”

“Your mind is focused on his fighting.”

“He must be safe,”

"But that's not all that matters, being a Jedi and the force are about more than fighting."

"I know, but that isn't what is going to keep him alive. And that's what matters."

"Obi-Wan..."

"Your the one who told him he will have to save everyone when he was a toddler."

"He will play a role in ending the conflict and help balance the force."

"So! What do you want me to do?"

a beat hung in the air before he felt a shift and Qui-Gon spoke again.

“I assume he will also need to work more on shielding.”

“Of course. We can always make sure our shields are stronger. My own was so shattered I feel they’ve only recently become strong enough. I still fear something could have been picked up by the inquisitor we let live.”

“He will learn. He is naturally gifted.”

“Yes, I believe he will.” Obi-Wan nodded.

“Are you glad you have trained him?”

“I’m glad he can protect himself, and that he can have this connection to Anakin. But I do fear for him. Fear for him in a future without fellow Jedi to support him.”

“He can teach new Jedi. There will always be those who can and want to train. The Jedi can be rebuilt”

“That’s a lot to put on him.”

“It’s not your choice to put it on him or not.”

Obi-Wan grimaced, fate and the Force were what they were. Luke’s future would be hard, it would hurt. And it was Obi-Wan’s fault, he had failed Anakin and failed to help bring balance to the Force. But maybe with Luke, there could be hope. Luke had always shown as a beacon of hope in the Force. 

~~~~~

Obi-Wan woke up and let out a shout. He rolled over and heaved, nearly throwing up on the ground. He sat all the way up his whole body shaking. The sight of the lava covered Anakin burning his eyes. 

Luke jumped off the top bunk coming to sit next to him.

“Dad...”

The words seemed very loud causing him to flinch. 

“You’re going to be okay,” Luke said in a softer voice.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan whispered, putting his shaking arm around his son.

“It’s okay. I know you’re scared. I’m scared.”

“We will get through this,” Obi-Wan said but his shaking tone betrayed how deeply he didn’t believe what he said.  

~~~~~

“You know. We never did talk about how you're Kenobi” La’ara said as they sat in the cockpit.

“Yes I am, You didn’t tell the rest.”

“You didn’t want them to know. It’s not my secret to tell.”

“I’m not him anymore. I can’t be him anymore, not yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve seen me.”

“Kill a hundred karking storm troopers. That sounds very “Kenobi””

“I was different during the clone wars. I was only damaged, not broken.”

“We all break.”

“I still wake my son up with my nightmares.” 

“I had nightmares for, damn I still have nightmares, after watching my dad get killed. You lost almost all of your people.”

“Being a Jedi is about self-mastery. I don't have it. I’m not that Jedi Master anymore, I can't be.”

“Then be Ben. Be the father of your son and one of my best friends.”

“Thank you for saying that. You all have become very dear to me. Finding a new group of friends as trustworthy as you all wasn’t something I saw happening again.”

“You’re never too old to make new friends.” She grinned

~~~~~

“Obi-Wan” Qui-Gon’s voice and presence filled Obi-Wan and Luke’s cabin.

“Hello, Master.”

“We’ve discussed Luke. How is your training coming along?”

“My emotional control is slightly better. And I was able to be calm in a fight.”

“That’s good. You still don’t feel the same as you did before the Jedi fell.”

“I’m not sure how.”

“Start your meditation from square one, again. You need to be able to reach a state of meditation while acting. You need to remember how to be part of more than you.”

“Meditate on my connection to the Force? I do that anyway”

“It will take time to understand. You must hold yourself and the Force at once. The cosmic Force must be the point of your focus. You must face your fear, but that will come in time”

“Yes master”

“To be able to become one with the force, while holding your form you must let go of your fears for luke. You can not control what happens.”

“I have to protect Luke”

“You can advise, you can help, you can guide when you biome one with the force if you hold your form. But you have to acknowledge that you are not in control of the galaxy. No matter how much you want to.”

“Okay.” Obi-Wan agreed, but he still wasn’t sure how to do so.

“Just focus on the force, the force guides us all.”

The presence of his former master dissipated. 

Obi-Wan crisscrossed his legs setting his hands on his knees. He breathed in thinking of the unifying power of the cosmic Force. The connection of all life, in the end, became the cosmic Force, it would grant him peace, and would grant him the ability to guide past death. 

~~~~~

Luke’s birthday was that day and Obi-Wan found he was not doing well. Even if he had gotten through the anniversary of order 66 okay, training with Luke talking with La’ara. But something about the birthday of his boy was harder, it should be happy, he was happy, but it just hurt. 

When he finally got himself into the room he saw only Alema was there leaning against the table on the floor messing with the bots

“La’ara and Bialla took Luke out already.”

“What in sith hells. They can’t protect Luke! What if an inquisitor shows up?”

“It will be okay. Luke knows to run if anything bad happens.”

“What do you mean?”

“That’s what we told him. If anyone shows up he’s to leave the others being and book it.”

“Kark. He’s not going to listen to that! He thinks he has to be a hero; he would die before the others got hurt.”

Obi-Wan picked up his cloak, clicked his sabre to this belt and walked out to the station. He sent waves of concern, well it might have come across as panic but that didn’t matter, in his bond with Luke. He could feel the return tug on the bond and noted concern flooding back through it. Obi-Wan even decided he could risk reaching out to find him. Stretch his senses all the way out to Luke.

He was able to follow the tug on the bond through to a stand filled with candy.

“Dad!” Luke shouted rushing over to him. “Are you okay?”

“I was worried about you,” Obi-Wan admitted.

“We would never have let anything happen to him.” La’ara said, sounding sad, “I’ve taken him out with me before.”

“On places like Jakku, nothing like this station.”

Obi-Wan took Luke's hand.

“Dad, I'm not a baby anymore.”

“You’re my galaxy Luke I’m going to worry about you”

“Well, I want to buy this candy.” Mom Acruom said, clapping her hands.

~~~~~

Obi-Wan stood in front of Luke, his sabre raised. Luke copied the stance.

“Today we begin our study of Shien & Djem So or Form V”

“Awesome! I’ll get to fight like Ahsoka!”

“Well, she uses reverse grip and Jar’kai. I'll admit reverse grip is not something I practise very often but I taught Anakin so I can't be that awful. I can even show you a few Jar’kai techniques”

“So I do get to fight like Ahsoka.”

“Yes.” Obi-Wan inclined his head 

“Form V was a reaction to souresu, they believed there needed to be more pressure put on the enemy. You work to control the flow of the fight. Use the energy and momentum to your advantage. It takes an agile body and mind to be able to flow from defence to offence at a moment's notice. It’s referred to as the perseverance form. 

We will start with Shien as it’s most practical for blaster fire and what you will normally face, it also came first. But we will quickly move to Djem So subform. Knowing melee combat is important, especially when facing an opponent who fights with a lightsaber. Which I worry you will ”

“I will,” Luke said with sincere certainty and Obi-Wan knew it to be true. 

Because of course, he would. He will face the dark side and Obi-Wan has to ensure he will triumph. 

~~~~~

Obi-Wan woke up to screaming in the force. There was nothing audible but Luke was in such pain.

Hands met hands and he tried to pass calm through their bond. 

“I’m sorry,” Luke said through sobs

“Why?”

“Fear it’s ruling me!”

“No my dear body, nightmares are normal for padawans, the force is blinding.”

“I’m not going to save everyone.” Luke said through heavy breathes.”

“You don’t have to save everyone. Just do your best.”

Luke turned to him panic-stricken, “People are going to die. Blades and screaming and death.”

“Shh, it’s okay adi’ka no one is dying right now.”

“But they will, they will die.”

“Maybe. But you have to let go, you can’t control everything.”

“They're going to die!” Luke repeated but he didn’t seem to even know what he was saying anymore.

Obi-Wan brushed Luke's sweaty hair and kissed his forehead, pressing his mind on Luke's suggesting sleep. Luke’s breathing calmed and he fell back to sleep. He was a hypocrite telling him he couldn’t control everything. But hey maybe Qui-Gon was right.

Chapter Text

Luke

“You must strike while I'm not balanced. You have to use my Force against me.”

Luke grimaced. Switching from his father teaching him endless patience to wanting him to attack even when he didn’t see a total opening. CHanging forms like this was hard and he was tired. 

His dad repeated his instructions, correcting Lukes every move as their blades clashed together. 

Eventually Luke felt his anger rising, frustrated with the lesson. He had to get this right. He had to know everything about the Jedi. And if he couldn’t get this, what was the use? His dad was talking again but all Luke could hear was gibberish. 

In a moment of heat, he returned his dad’s blow and pushed him with the Force hard enough to make him stumble. He didn't stop slicing over and over again until his dad was able to kick out his foot and send Luke down to the ground.

“You have the right idea, young one. You turned my Force against me. But you also did so out of anger, to be a true master of the form you mustn't work from anger, but from a sense of purpose.”

“I do have a purpose. What master Qui-Gon told us. So I have to be good at this, I can't struggle.”

“Struggle is part of the journey. You can’t be a master without working hard.”

Luke laid down and let out a sigh. “Kark this.”

“Language dear one.”

“No,” Luke said obstinately. 

“I guess I should expect this you are almost a teenager”

Luke bared his teeth, threw his lightsaber down and stalked to his room.

A while later his dad walked into their cabin leaning on the edge of the bed looking up at Luke. 

“You know we need to have a conversation.” 

“About what!” Luke growled.

“Puberty.”

“What?” Luke said.

“Mom Acroum said that might be part of why you’re so angry. And it made me remember how hard this time was for your father. He had his own pressures from the outside and being a teenager only made it worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you been more sweaty, had acne, and been more hungry?”

Luke nodded.

“Come sit next to me.” Dad sighed.

They then proceed to have the most awkward conversation in Luke's life. Talking about sweating, and how he’d grow more and all kinds of weird body stuff.

And next how he’d Apparently he would now find girls and/or boys attractive. And then the whole “sex” thing might be something he’d find interesting. 

His dad had sounded like a droid talking with no emotion in his voice. But he could tell his dad was just as uncomfortable as discomfort came off him in waves even his shields couldn’t block that feeling.

Afterwards Luke watched his dad stand up.

“If you have questions you can always ask me.”

“Yeah okay, dad.”

Luke groaned and laid back on the bunk.

Okay maybe whatever a hormone was is making his emotions wilder. But it didn’t mean there wasn’t something real there. Because he did have to be good enough to save everyone, and he wasn’t ready yet. 

~~~~~

Luke screwed up his face, focusing on the words “you okay” with calm emotion. He then imagined the words moving through his bond with his dad.

His dad lightly flinched and turned to Luke. 

“You tried sending calm but you ended up smacking me in the brain. But that’s okay ad’ika.”

“Buir I’m trying.” Luke said, grinding his teeth.”Did you get the message?”

“I know you are, and I got concern, yes.”

“Hmhm, I was going for asking if you were okay.”

“Sometimes direct bond communication just doesn’t work over every bond. Though I know some high republic era Jedi could send instruction across the galaxy. Avar Kriss, I believe she was.”

“Wow,” Luke said

“But even if that were possible it would be unsafe. Please be careful about pushing anything outside of you. It could lead to detection.”

Luke nodded, “I know. I’m still working on my shields.”

“Make sure you do. They are important.” His dad instructed.

“Now, we should go ask La’ara if she’d like to do some exercises with the Force with us.”

Luke perked up, something new with the Force?

“What exercises?”

“I was thinking we could do some hand-to-hand work. Like your running exercises, it’s important to ensure you are letting the Force guide you and open yourself to its help when fighting.”

“Can I also hit stuff with the Force?”

“Yes, you can do that too.”

Luke scrambled up the ladder and rushed to La’ara who was fiddling with something in the engine room.

“You want to do hand to hand sparring?”

“Sure!”

La’ara finished up giving instructions on how to close up her work to ArrThree

His dad instructed them to take a starting stance. It was different from lightsabre stances and movements but it was actually quite similar to their moving meditation except with kicking and a closed fist.

“One” His dad announced and they stuck with their fists. “Two” and they blocked a high strike. “Three” and they turned to the side blocking low.

“Very good.” His dad said, stroking his beard, “We should use the Force with some strikes now. We have these empty crates we can practice by moving them when we hit them. Okay, use a closed fist strike. Feel The Force moving through you and out through your hand.”

“Like so.” His dad stood and put his fist out and the crate moved easily with the movement of his body.

Lar’ara looked more excited than she normally did at Force training.

 “Aw yeah. I want to be able to get a good hit in on huge guys.” La’ara crowd.

Luke was able to do it after two tries shoving the crate off the one underneath it. 

La’ara got it in four.

“I actually did it.” La’ara said, sounding giddy, “I used the Force. How badass is that.”

“So very badass.” His dad said deadpan but he felt calm and his eyes shone with happiness.

La’ara stuck her tongue out then broke into a smile as she laid on the floor of the hold

“We’ll have to do more of this,” Luke said, glad to have found something that cheered up his favourite people.

~~~~~

Luke woke on his birthday and felt bad. Luke sighed, picking up his two toys and holding them above his head. He felt a bit too old to have them when he was twelve . But to do anything but keep them would be rude. Sitting them back on his bunk he turned to the edge of his bed. He pulled the chain with his two charms over his head and slid down.

Getting fully dressed he groaned and walked out to the common room.

“There is the birthday boy!” Mom Acroum called

The melancholy that had overcome him in his room dissipated and he sat down to the stacks of pancakes.

“We can’t stop this year so we went ahead and got your gifts at our last stop,” Bialla explained placing a stack of data cards in front of him.

“What’s on these?” Luke asked. Luke said, picking them up.

“New holo dramas!” Bialla explained, “They have plenty of action for you, not all silly and girly.”

“Awesome, we can watch these together,” Luke answered, grinning. It would be nice to have something else to do all together. There was only so much sabacc you could play, and dejark was only two people.

The pancakes were melt-in-the-mouth good and the syrup was some kind of berry he couldn’t place.

“Thanks, guys” He said.

His dad passed him what appeared to be new clothes, which was good as his clothes were chronically too small. And on top of them another data card.

“It’s got some martial arts forms from styles I don't know. Thought we could work out how to add some of our Force exercises into it.”

“That sounds great!” Luke said smiling.

Good start to a birthday.

The holodrama they watched had Luke hanging upside down complaining about everything he saw. Hid Tooka droid chasing the ball he rolled back and forth for him.

“You know we could turn it off,” Alema said exasperated.

“No, I'm having fun,” Luke said.

“Come on Alema he’s always like this with holo dramas' ' Bialla joked.

“I know,” Alema grumbled.

Night Meal was fine but he was waiting for dessert.

And he got it. Chocolate cake!

Even more impressive was the blue milk, his absolute favourite.

~~~~~

They had landed on Corellia and Luke was bored. He was sitting next to La’ara as she filled out some forms on a datapad while the rest of the crew worked on putting their cargo on pallets so the buyer could move them where they were going. 

While she wasn’t looking Luke wandered off just to the edge of the hanger. Watching the people go by shouting at each other in varying languages.

A shout from beside him as two beings slammed into him. One was a Quarren the other was a Umbaran.

Five Goons rushed towards them. A rather large one grabbed the umbaran up by their collar. 

“Who's the new pipsqueak?” The taller one asked.

“I’m Luke...Luke Acroum.” Luke said, standing to his feet. He squared his shoulder hand lazily laying at his side but what looked nonchalant was waiting for the moment. 

“Luke, are you involved with them skimming money off the top of their deliveries?”

Having to get these younglings safe was his priority. The second was not being outed as a Jedi. The third was to get back home, his dad did not do well without him.

“Sure I did what are you going to do about it!” Luke said

A presumably female humanoid with light skin, brown hair and harsh blue eyes stepped through the goons and glared at Luke.

As she stared them down Luke felt like the world went vibrant, everything shone with energy and he felt like he could hear the breathing of people on the other side of the street. 

“I could kill you.” The woman whipped out a blaster but Luke was faster. And deadly accurate.

The rest of the goons lunged towards them. The Quarren slipped between legs to his umbaran friend. 

Luke got off enough shots to get two in the gut before a third knocked his blaster out of his hand, taking one on the arm leaving Luke hurt. But Luke slid to the ground going through the attackers' legs punching the back of his leg joints bringing him down to the ground where Luke got a Force assisted punch to the back of his head knocking him out. 

Spinning around he felt the Force move through him and punch the other being in the solar plexus hoping that would hurt this guy it did but the attacker swung back knocking the wind from Luke. But while luke was on his back he got a kick on the attacker's genitalia. Which were thankfully in the same place as humans. 

That was four. 

The last had grabbed one of the kids using the child to block any shot or blow Luke could make. He was a big man who Luke was unsure if he could takedown. And that was only added to when the man swung his fist widely hitting Luke across the face making him feel like he was spinning. 

Now he couldn’t catch his breath, his head banged and he tasted blood. And he could feel his arms shaking.

The last man standing fell to the ground dropping the youngling falling to the ground.

Looking up Luke saw his dad standing there, the lights of the street giving off a mind-boggling glow.

His dad then rushed to Luke looking at the tear in his robes and the dirt on his back.

The two kids stood up looking scared.

“Stay. We’ll get you somewhere safe.” Obi-wan instructed.

“He works with the unbroken clan; they have treaties across the planet. We’re not safe, even the guys who paid us can’t protect us.” One of them explained.

“Then we’ll get you and any family off-planet.” His dad said moving to check over the other two kids.

“Yeah, we couldn’t leave kids to get killed,” La’ara said 

His dad put Luke on his back and Luke couldn’t see anything, the world blurred in front of him.

The kids gave the address of their family and his dad and Biallia went out to find the families.

Luke sat while mom Acruom did first aid on the younglings. 

La’ara came to him with some bacta spray cleaning the wounds he acquired. She checked Luke’s nose and it thankfully wasn’t broken, just injured. But he still felt dizzy as all hell and he still hadn’t caught his breath. 

“This is why you shouldn’t run off. I’m surprised your dad went to go help the kids while you're injured. But he felt funny, not like himself. Not bad just different,” La’ara said then she stood to talk to Alema.

Mom Acroum came over to him and said soothing words while she scanned him and added some bandages over the areas that had been bacta sprayed. 

“Well Alema has the StarRunner ready, we'll be able to leave fast when Ben and the others get here,” La’ara announced.

Right as she said that his dad came walking with his hood up leading four people who were quickly moving towards them.

Once they were loaded onto the ship Luke felt a dull ache in his body. The world felt like it had been drained of life. The world was too dim and quite weird. 

He stood up and then the world went black.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan talked with Biallia telling her where to tell Alema to fly them. He felt a twinge in his mind and an empty feeling in his bond with Luke. He spun around catching his son as he fell over. 

Sitting harshly on the ground they both jostled as the ship took off. Obi-Wan brushed his son’s sweaty hair from his forehead. 

They were flying to a spaceport in a nearby system. It would allow the beings they saved to trade what they stole for passage somewhere safe.

Helping them was a good deed, something a Jedi would do right? But if he was a good Jedi that day he was an awful father. He hadn’t noticed Luke had moved for a good few minutes as he could still feel Luke and the kid had seemed determined, purpose flowing through their bond and Obi-Wan had thought nothing of it.

Not till a wave of fear and something darker flooded through the bond that Obi-Wan had gone to find him. It had required Obi-Wan to reach out with his senses to find him. Something he’d done only once before since the clone wars. It was dangerous with the threat of inquisitors so possible in these crowded places. But he’d gotten there in time to help with at least one of the attackers and get the younglings and Luke to safety. 

He’d have to congratulate Luke on his fighting prowess and tell him to be more careful he wouldn’t have to fight. Going out alone was not a good idea, backup wouldn’t always be able to get there in time. 

Obi-Wan held his son tighter, keeping himself from throwing up or crying. He had to continue the strength he’d found to save those people, he had to be there for luke. 

La’ara had said he didn’t have to be the Jedi from the clone wars, he could just be Ben. But maybe Ben could be a Jedi? Maybe he could find a balance? He didn’t have to be who he used to be, but he didn’t have to give up his history and his lost family.

“What happened?” Luke asked as he woke up.

“Well you took a blow to the head and I believe you exerted more energy in the Force than you intended,” Obi-Wan explained his lungs seeming to fill fully since he found his son in the alley. 

“Is that why everything feels like it’s gone from extra bright to dull?”

“I believe so, that would explain why you passed out. You unintentionally enhanced your senses. Jedi always have the edge of the Force pointing us in the right direction and allowing us to feel what others can not. But the Force can also more directly enhance your base senses. Making your visions sharper or able to hear things from further away. It sounds like you did that by accident.”

“I can do that?”

“Most Force abilities can be tapped into without meaning too. But it takes training and practice to be able to do it on command.”

“Great another thing to learn,” Luke grumbled with a weak smile.

“Dear Ad'ika there is always more to learn.” 

Obi-Wan helped Luke to a sitting position,

“You’re going to have to stay awake for a while, make sure you don’t have too bad of a concussion.”

“But I'm tired.”

“I know dear one I know”

But Luke just sighed, settling into his father's side breathing evenly. And obi-wan hoped that they would be okay. 

~~~~~

Letting their passengers off went easily enough. They had thanked Obi-Wan and Luke profusely and he was proud of Luke for saying it was his duty to help others and no thanks were needed. 

Their whole saving the day thing had put them behind schedule. Thankfully not that far behind and apparently, their contact didn’t have a habit of handling issues by blaster shot, more likely to just dock their payment a bit. 

Obi-Wan followed closely behind Luke as they made their way towards the crew quarters. 

“Can I sleep now?” Luke muttered, swaying on his feet.

“Of course, I don't think we're going to have any bad effects from your concussion.”

Luke stumbled to their cabin taking Obi-Wan's bottom bunk instead of his, a smart move. The last thing they needed was for Luke to fall out of bed that night. 

Obi-Wan walked to the common room where the rest of the crew was talking softly.

“How's our Luke?” Bialla questioned.

“He’ll be fine. It wasn’t just his head wound but also some Force exhaustion. He can sleep it all off.”

“That’s good. I’ll look back on him when he wakes up. Remove the bandage on his arm and cheek.” Mom Acroum said.

“Okay...Okay”

Obi-Wan himself felt unsteady on his feet but was able to sit down easily and catch his breath before he could fall into panic.

“You were impressive today.” Bialla said, “I wouldn’t have known what to do.”

“I’ve done missions like this before. Getting people out and to where they need to be.” Obi-Wan explained his voice sounding tight. 

“Let’s get some food for all of us. Everything's better with food.” Mom Acroum said.

~~~~~

La’ara kicked Obi-Wan who was trying to meditate.

“You didn’t sleep last night did you?”She asked.

“No. I’m waiting for Luke to wake up.”

“Ugh.” She groaned. “If you won’t go in there, come sleep in my cabin. I’ll wait here for a while.”

“You can’t feel him like I can.”

“No but you’ve taught me enough, I'll be able to tell if he is like ya know really scared or in pain or something.”

“You sure?”

“I know what Luke is supposed to feel like. I’ll know if something is wrong. Plus you're only a little farther away in my cabin anyway. If you could feel him a few blocks down you’ll feel him from there.”

“Can I tell you something?” Obi-Wan thought, thinking of the fear of having alerted Vader curling inside him.

“‘Course Ben,” La’ara said sitting next to him.

“If we reach out with our senses like I did to find Luke when he was gone, or when you all took him on that space station. If it’s too strong or we’re in the wrong place...they might be able to feel us using the Force.”

“The dark Jedi.”

“Yes, but no. Sure it’s a problem if one of the inquisitors senses us but I can defeat them. But I worry about Vader and..and The Emperor .”

“You really think they could?”

“I’ve fought him before, Vader.”

“Surprised you survived that.”

“Yeah well,” Obi-Wan shrugged. He couldn’t help but feel like maybe he shouldn't have. If somehow they would have just both died. That would have been better, Luke could have lived with his uncle. Being with his family would be better. God, he really should have died. Should be dead.

“You're spiralling.” La’ara warned, “Your shields are good but even they can’t hold that degree of despair.”

“Sorry.” 

“‘S okay” La’ara leaned against the wall Obi-Wan copied her, “Ben I want you to know I will die for that kid and so will everyone else on this ship. If they ever come for him. Don’t worry about us, just get him out of here.”

“They might try to use you now too. I’ve taught you enough to make you dangerous.”

“I like that. Dangerous.” She grinned, "but I've always been dangerous. Ask anyone I can cause good trouble, and bad trouble, whatever kind you need.”

“I’m serious here La’ara”

“So am I Ben. I just need you to understand that we have your back.”

“Okay.” Obi-Wan agreed.

“So you gonna take a nap?”

“Sure.” 

He leaned on the top bunk of La’ara’s cabin which had a stack of data sticks, some socks, assorted food wrappers and a datapad.

He laid on the bottom bunk and resumed his meditation. But before he could get anywhere close to calm Qui-Gon’s voice sounded.

“Your Padawan is doing quite well.” 

“He did well defending himself, and the other younglings. I just wish he hadn’t needed to.”

“He will have to defend himself, and others in the future.”

“But protecting Luke is all I am for.”

“He needs to learn on his own as well. And now that he has learned to stretch his connection to the Force further he will only be able to protect himself and others better.”

“I stretched into the Force to find him, putting us in danger. I told La’ara about it. She didn’t tell us to leave so that’s good.”

“She’s a nice woman. I am glad you have a friend such as her.”

“Yes. We wouldn’t have anything like a home without them.”

“It is good to have a place to ground yourself in, keep you safe while you sleep.”

“I feel like there is a but coming”

“You must learn to feel peace inside yourself. Separate from the outside world.”

“I think I am closer. I was able to feel enough peace to help those people, and to care for Luke without panicking.”

“Yes. You are closer. I believe your tests to be a while off. But you can improve your connection to the Force every day.”

“Yes of course master.”

“Be well, Padawan mine.”

Obi-Wan shook his head as the feeling of his master dissipated. What had he meant about his tests? He didn't like the sound of that. He didn’t want anything to happen to Luke should he fail them. When he died he had to be able to still be there for Luke, even if just able to communicate and not save. 

He felt a shock in the Force then the word Dad came running through the Force. 

He sat up and ran quickly over to his and Luke’s cabin and came rushing in. La’ara was holding Luke’s hand already and Obi-Wan could feel waves of calm. Huh, she picked that up naturally, good for her. 

Obi-Wan came in kneeling on the ground. “What’s wrong Adi’ka?”

“Just had a nightmare. And I feel dizzy.”

“What was in the nightmare?”

“Didn’t feel like a vision. Just the guy who tried to hurt us back there.”

“Okay, dear one,” Obi-Wan murmured.

“Yeah kid it’ll be okay. And your dad says that the fatigue will get better from your force stuff.” La’ara said, smiling softly.

“We’ll be okay.” Obi-Wan agreed.

Chapter Text

Luke

It was the day before Luke's birthday and his dad was okay, sure his dad had been shaky since empire day but he was awake so yay? They’d been in space for so long and as much as luke loved space he wanted to feel the ground under his feet, he wanted to be able to feel the planet in the force. There was a balance he ached for between the cosmic of space and the solidness of a planet.

Luke could still feel a bit overwhelmed by people, but keeping his shields up had gotten easier. So now there could even be something cool about being with medium-sized groups of people. Plus letting strangers emotions in was maybe better than people he cared about. Bialla or Alema needed privacy from him, and he also felt terrible when they got sad or angry whereas it was fine with strangers.

Could even be useful when you need to no to get out of the way for someone mad.

His thoughts were interrupted when his dad came into the room, his hands shaking visibly in his sleeves.

“You okay dad?” Luke asked, rushing over, giving him a small smile.
“Yes Luke, I'm fine. I’m just a bit tired.”

Luke frowned, he could feel the low-level stress coming from his dad. And in their bond, he could feel affection and also an ache that could only be akin to what he felt for his sister.

“I know you’re more than tired, you can’t lie to me.”
“You're still a youngling luke.”
“But I can help.” Luke pleaded.
“I will be fine luke.” His dad said a small bit of sharpness to the end.

Luke blew a puff of air out, pulling his own shields up as tight as possible. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for the others to come in.

La’ara walked by before stopping, “Okay what’s wrong?”
“My life.” Luke groaned.

“We’re eating rations today for breakfast.” Mom Acroum walked to the kitchenette and poured reconstituted bread into some water before throwing them on the stove to toast. La’ara pulled out the dried fruit and passed it out. The final two crew members walked into the room sitting down in intense conversation.

Breakfast was still welcome even if not that tasty. It made him feel better to eat with his family and it calmed his nerves. The familiar feeling of them and the way the force moved around them helped him deal with whatever his dad was keeping from him.

After breakfast, they did some movement meditation with La’ara which continued to keep him in a good headspace. But at the end, he felt his dad shift in the force and Luke could mouth along to his next statement.

“I need to go lay down.”

Luke deeply just wanted to help his dad, and he didn’t let him!

At least he got to practice his twi'leki and played with his tooka robot. It let the time slide by fast enough.

After the midday meal, he went to the hold to practice his katas. Running through one kata for each of his forms. Getting into the flow he could feel the force even outside into the hyperspace. The cosmic force that went through everything. It was overwhelming.

His eyes burned and his body felt stiff. It was painful, but at the same time, his mind sang with the power of the force. It was like the universe was talking to him, he just wished he understood.

Coming out of that headspace he felt slightly dizzy. He’d felt something he never had before. The feeling of all of space was not something he was expecting. Kark didn’t even know how he did it, or if he’d be able to do it again.
~~~~~
Luke enjoyed pancakes in the morning with cream and blue milk. A new gun belt and new clothes, and a new holo drama were his presents this year. His dad was awake, but not really there. He knew that it didn’t have anything to do with him, or at least not really.

But then again Padmé had died giving birth to him, so maybe it was partly about him.

Luke followed his dad into their cabin and stood in front of the door.

“Dad, you know how I used to ask you questions when I was little for my birthday?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Well, I have a question this year.”
“What would you like to know?”
“How did all the Jedi die?”
“The empire killed them.”
“Yes, I know that. But I mean what actually happened at the end of the republic? I know you got blamed for trying to take over the republic, that’s why they chase us. But what really happened, from your point of view?”

His dad sighed and sat down heavily on the bunk.
“Okay...Okay. In my view we were doing okay with the war. Dooku had died, your father killed him ‘saving’ Palpatine. We crashed the ship, then from there it’s a bit complicated and I don't know all of it. The Jedi tried to work out what we were going to do about the dark we were feeling and our knowledge there was a sith lord connected with Palpatine. I was sent to kill Grievous, I told you most of that. We had a Jedi try and work out what Palpatine was up to, and he was the one who learned he was a sith lord. Jedi died trying to stop Palpatine. But how it ended, the clones were forced to turn on us.” His dad explained his hands shaking but his voice surprisingly even, “It wasn’t their fault but that’s how they killed those of us in the field, we’d already been thinned out so to speak by the war. Then Darth Vader started to help kill us, he killed the jedi.”
“What?” Luke yelped, “He’s a sith lord, he killed my father! You fought him!”

“Yes, and he was a Jedi beforehand. Turned by the emperor. Vader went into the temple with troopers and killed all the Jedi in the coruscant temple, I assume similar was done in the temples off of coruscant. I left a message for any Jedi who lived to stay away, no one else needed to see what happened in the temple, and I would lose no one else.

Then I fought Vader, thought I beat him, but I didn't. Got out alive. And well then I helped your mother after she was injured. Took her away so you wouldn’t be found after she died. I was worried Vader would want you for being Anakin’s son, and Padmės too. Then well you know what happens from there.”

“So the clones were forced to kill everyone. Then Vader finished the job.”
“Yes.”
“Thank you for telling me,” Luke said softly.
“It’s only fair you should know.”
“What controlled the clones?”
“Chips in their heads. Rex got out with Ahsoka's help I can't imagine it was pleasant. But then I can only hope he got other's out”

"Luke Cody."

"Yes like Cody. But the others too. Any of them really they deserved freedom over whatever the empire did with them when they got through with them."
“It’s still just the three of us.”
“Four. Yoda, he survived. Almost didn’t after fighting the emperor.”

Luke nodded. Maybe one day if he did his job right and stopped the empire, he would be able to bring them all together. Four Jedi wasn’t many but it was better than nothing. Then he felt tears begin to spill over his eyes. The pains streaming through his bond with his father, his own grief at a culture he didn’t get to be a part of, and a family he wouldn’t have. And he thought of his sister and that hurt too.

His dad rolled to the back of the bunk holding his arms out. And Luke curled into them. His dad held them together. And he felt tears drip from his father’s eyes onto his hair

This overwhelming ache and despair cleared some as their breathing matched. Luke was getting taller now. But his dad could still hold him in a hug and let Luke dig his face in his father’s cloak. It almost broke him to feel their twin despair.

But force Vader killed his father, a man who was so loved and such a mess. And was the reason he and his sister never saw each other. Broke his dad so bad. Karking force it wasn’t fair.

And he was scared. How was he meant to fix something like this? He felt afraid but tried to let the fear go, he couldn't be ruled by fear. That wouldn’t help, help him help his dad and everyone else.

Luke sat up hiccuping, his dad followed brushing the hair from Luke's eye.
“You’re such a good kid.” His dad said their eyes met.
“I’m sorry for breaking down. I wanted to be able to comfort you, but you ended up comforting me.”
“No, I do feel better. It was important, you knew.”

Luke ran his arm under his running nose and shook his head.

La’ara knocked on the wall next to the door before walking in.
“I could feel you all in the common area. What happened?”
“We were just..talking?” Obi-Wan suggested.
“Sobbing.” She corrected, “even if I couldn't have felt it both of you look like you’ve been crying.”
“We were talking. I just got a little worked up.” Luke said, twisting his hands in his lap.
“No problem. Just wondering if you guys wanted some birthday cake? We did make some.”

His dad stood up holding his hand out and Luke took it letting his dad lead him back to the common room.
~~~~~
Luke thought about what he had learned. Darth Vader had been a Jedi? How was that even possible? Sure he knew you could let in the dark side, that sith used the dark side. Even knowing that He’d still always imagined the dark to be completely different to the force that he had been taught from the time he could remember. But it wasn’t, not if Vader had used what he had learned as a Jedi as part of the way he killed the other Jedi. He’d always known that all the Jedi had died. But he could feel the Jedi dying from his father, it made it so real. The idea of feeling that fully in the moment he was surprised his father was crushed entirely.

And being betrayed by Vader as well he didn’t know how well his father had known Vader but the Jedi were a family in his dad’s eyes he knew that he could feel it every time his dad talked of the old days. So any member of that family turning to the Darkside must have been a huge blow to his dad’s spirit. He knew if any of the crew of the star runner worked for the empire his entire world would collapse.

And the troopers being controlled like that and forced against their generals must have been awful. His dad had cared so much about his troopers. Cody had been his friend, they’d been important to each other.

All his family and friends were torn apart.

It all made Luke feel ill.

But Vader’s betrayal also made him worry even more about the power of the Darkside because it was everywhere. It was part of everything, of all of the force.

It meant Luke could fall, meant he could not only fail but fail so entirely he’d lose himself and hurt others. Even if he became a fully realised Jedi. He had to ensure that never happened.
~~~~~
Luke woke up in a sweat, his head spinning with blaster fire.

“Luke Ad’ika are you okay?” His dad asked, standing by his bed.
“It felt horrible didn’t it,” Luke said softly
“Yes, it did,”
“I think I can feel it on you.”
“I’m so sorry you don’t deserve to feel that.
Luke nodded stiffly. “But it helps me understand. I need to understand the universe, not just feel it.”
“Very wise of you to say so.”
“But I'm scared, dad.”
“You’d be silly not to be young one. We are fighting against much evil.” His dad held Luke's hand, “But you are light itself Ad’ika. You will be okay.”
“The Inquisitors, were they Jedi too?”
“I’m not sure. I didn’t know every knight or Padawan as much as I wished I could have. But it’s deeply possible they were Jedi.”
“And now they are so cold.”
“Yes.”
“Can we meditate?” Luke asked, his voice feeling small to him.
“Absolutely.” His dad said with a soft smile.

~~~~~
Luke and his dad sparred moving around the cargo bay. His dad was pushing luke hard and luke was breathing hard. He bit almost clean through his lip when he was thrown back by his dad pushing forward in the force.

“Kark it.” Luke muttered laying back against the floor, “This is stupid why are you pushing me so hard.”
“I thought you wanted to be like a Padawan?”
Luke pushed himself up to a half-sitting position, legs still sprawled in front of him.
“Sure I do. And I have to be. But that doesn't mean I like spinning in circles in a half-full cargo bay getting nowhere.”
“We are getting somewhere. You have shown mastery of form one, and a clear proficiency in both forms three and five.”
“I’ve fought real bad guys already. Those slave traders and the leader of the crime gang.”
“Yes. And you did amazing. You were even more of a youngling than you are now and you kept a level head. I am deeply proud.”
“But I mean can’t we do missions or something?”
“We can’t, we have no government to offer us jurisdiction, no ability to present ourselves as Jedi, and quite frankly the empire is too dangerous.”
“Can I at least accompany La’ara when she meets with clients and the like?”
“If she says yes then I'll allow it. But only if two adults are going.”
“I’m more prepared to defend them than they are me.”
“Luke, don't push me.”

Luke smiled wickedly, push him? He could push him. Sitting all the way up, Luke used both hands to toss his father into the stacked boxes behind him.

His dad laughed, “very good young one.”

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan sighed as they walked across the street Luke munching on a ration bar. Being a teenage boy Luke ate everything. Fourteen years old and he was getting almost as tall as Obi-Wan. Anakin and Luke still looked alike, especially when they were training. 

They’d been working on using unconventional blade work while in motion. Running up trees, jumping, climbing etc. La’ara joined in for some of the exercises allowing her to perform acrobatics in a new way which the others found very impressive. 

They all stopped dead in their tracks when a man slapped a woman to the ground and then hit a smaller man who tried to stop them. 

Luke jumped forward and shouted, “Hey what are you doing?” He reached down and helped the smaller man up before he was kicked in the back falling to the ground. After only a second he was already turned over glaring back at the larger man.

“Don’t touch my property!” The man shouted and kicked Luke again, but Luke grabbed the man's foot and shoved him off.

“I’m not your property.” Luke sneered.

“Maybe.” The slaver said as he pulled the woman up roughly causing her to hiss in pain.

Obi-Wan considered his next move. If they really tried he, La’ara and Luke could likely get these people away. And he pulled his blaster out ready to start the fight. 

“You wouldn’t get away with it anyway. I have a grand admiral backing me.”

Oh no, this was even worse, they were totally gonna kark this guy up.

La’ara moved a flying kick the slavers head he hit the ground dazed. Luke bent down adjusting his blade so it was shorter and cut through the bonds with his sabre, damn thankful no one was near. Obi-Wan shot the man’s hand with a blaster, now he couldn’t hit anyone.  

The man started to gain coherence and Obi-Wan used the force to shove the man's head back hard enough to give a concussion but not enough to kill, probably. 

He turned and the two humans looked at them.

“Jedi?”

“You will tell no-one you saw Jedi,” Obi-Wan said with a wave of his hand.

“We will tell no one we saw Jedi.” THey repeated. 

“Now go.” Obi-Wan urged. 

The two kidnapped people ran the other way.

Obi-Wan took a few steps and pulled the bomb detonator from the guy's jacket and smashed it. Didn’t mean there weren't backups though.

He turned to watch the people run and sighed.  They couldn’t take them with them. If the people could be tracked they couldn’t bring them on the StarRunner. A little cruel maybe to not get them off-planet, but they couldn't risk bringing a Grand Admiral down on them. 

Luke, La’ara and Obi-Wan turned and walked away Luke shaking with rage, and Obi-Wan absentmindedly thought of Luke's father, Anakin would also react this way. Luke had never known slavery like his father, but he had a moral centre that would never let him see suffering. 

~~~~~

Obi-Wan watched Luke pace in the common room twisting his hands.

“Yes, Luke?” Alema asked.

“I want to work with Fulcrum’s rebellion. I’m fourteen now, it’s been months since I last asked, and I’ve always known they were evil. But they were enslaving those people on the Grand Admiral’s order. We can’t let them keep doing that. But I know I need you all to agree.”

“I’m with you.” Mom Acroum said Obi-Wan was surprised she was the first.

“My people have been enslaved across the galaxy. I’m with luke.” Alema agreed.

“Why not?” Bialla smiled, “They have been nothing but hurtful.”

“I’m always up to break some rules.” La’ara grinned, “And I think doing good for others is worth the risk”

“Dad?” Luke asked, turning his eyes beseeching.

Please. Came through their bond.

“Of course. But we will not be fighting on the front lines. We will do support work as best we can. But we must protect your secret luke.”

He hoped the seriousness of his conviction of keeping Luke safe came through their bond. 

Luke nodded, “Okay what do we do?”

“Contact Fulcrum?” La’ara said. 

“I’ll contact them,” Obi-Wan explained. 

~~~~~

Obi-wan used the holo com in the comet and sighed as he keyed in the code. 

Fulcrum’s symbol came up.

“Fulcrum it’s the StarRunner, Ben calling.”

The symbol flicked out of the screen, a moment passed with no response but then was replaced with Ahsoka’s face. 

“You okay?” She questioned.

“Yes. But we’ve decided to help out with your rebellion. But I have to ask not to tell anyone it’s me you're working with. Just use Ben, and then the others' names.”

“I can do that. And Luke will stay out of communications as much as possible.”

“You can tell Organa and that’s it.”

“Okay.” She nodded, “He’ll tell Mon Mothma”

“Fine, sure. I just don’t want news of Luke getting into the empire's hands. They will never let the son of the most powerful Jedi live freely or die painlessly.”

“We want nothing more than to keep Luke safe.”

“I’d hope so.”

“Protecting our Jedi is part of our goal.”

“Your Jedi?” Obi-Wan asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“You guys, and we found Kanan Jarrus. He was a padawan before the fall but now he’s fighting as a Jedi, took a padawan too.”

“Don’t know any Kanan’s. Who’s Padawan was he?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just know we have nothing to gain, letting you guys get hurt, having more hands on board the rebellion is most important.”

They exchanged information about what planets and ports the StarRunner was close to. And instructed that they would get coordinates for a supplies movement as soon as they worked it out with the contact.

“Okay. La’ara will also contact you if that’s okay.”

“Of course Ben. I will love working with your other apprentice.”

“She’s not my...”

“You're telling me you’re not teaching her how to fight like you?”

“Well not like me. I’m getting up there you know.”

“Stop. how old were some of the masters? and they were excellent fighters.”

“I’m sure at this point you could kick my ass with ease.”

“Well yes. But I've been fighting this war non-stop. You’ve had time off.”

“It’s for my son.”

“And I respect that.” Ahsoka agreed, “Talk to you soon, Master.”

“Of course young one.”

The screen flickered off and Obi-Wan leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face. This was going to be a giant mess, but if they really helped people it was worth it. 

~~~~~

Four assignments for the rebellion went by quickly, and painlessly.

But of course, that couldn’t last.

Obi-Wan wore his hood over his face standing guard behind La’ara who transferred rations with a seller. When they all pulled guns an imperial captain stepped forward.

“Well, what do we have here?” He asked, “Smugglers, and rebellion smugglers at that.”

“Kark off sleemo.” La’ara hissed.

“Shoot them.”

Obi-Wan pulled his blaster from his belt and he and La’ara shot most of the goons faster than they could bring their blasters up. Leaving the captain retreating as another wave of stormtroopers came flowing in. 

“I’ll cover you,” Luke said from the top of the ramp. 

Obi-Wan kept up shooting the stormtroopers while La’ara employed her newly learned agility skills and reached the captain, shooting him through the head. The area was soaking in death and fear obi-wan felt slightly ill.

“Let’s move,” Alema shouted from the ramp.

Luke and Obi-Wan ran La’ara taking a flying leap as the StarRunner took off.

Sitting in the cargo bay Obi-Wan breathed heavily and La’ara looked murderous, well they had just killed a good amount of people. 

“Check the cargo!” She ordered, sounding more like a captain than normal.

Doing so worked out to calm her down as it was what it was meant to be so we would have what we needed. 

~~~~~

Rendezvousing with a group of ships, Obi-Wan waited in the airlock leaning against the wall as La’ara and Mom Acroum discussed the next move with some of this squadrons leaders. Alema and Bialla were finishing the transfer. Luke was likely brooding in his room as he was not allowed to meet any of the other rebellion workers due to him not being known to anyone as Obi-Wan didn’t want anyone to ever work out he was a Padawan. And even less so Anakin’s child, god he couldn’t even think of Vader trying to use Luke in his plans. 

He sat up straighter when he felt the presence of Ahsoka.

“Master.” She said after the airlock closed behind her.

“Ahsoka,” Obi-wan said with a relieved sort of smile.

“Been too long.” She said,

“Years, again.” 

“I’m glad to see you,” Obi-Wan said putting a hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder

“A lot is going on in this rebellion. I’m still having you all kept away from the front for now. I know Luke is valuable.”

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow. He might be Obi-Wan’s whole world but Ahsoka had men to worry about.

“He’s Anakin's,” She said slowly, “He's the only thing left of him, not to mention I believe he will be part of the solution to our problem. Can’t kill Vader if his ship got shot down.”

“He’s a more careful flyer than his father, and hasn't given us a ‘happy landing’ yet.”

“Well guess he’s had better teachers.”

“Anakin flew like that since Qui-Gon found him.”

“I would have liked to meet Qui-Gon.”

“Well ask his spirit next time you meditate. Force knows he randomly shows up for me.”

“I have to go, but there is someone else who’d like to talk to you,” Ahsoka said with a nod.

A familiar feeling in the force came over him and Bail Organa stood there looking as put together as he always did.

“Mr Ben, I would like to talk to you, can we talk on the StarRunner?”

“Senator Organa, of course,” Obi-Wan said with a half bow.

They moved into the centre of the ship. Luke came bounding after them.

“Buir!” He shouted before banging into said buir when he tried to stop upon seeing Bail Organa.

He looked up at Obi-Wan with terrified eyes

I’m sorry that through our bond Obi-Wan could feel his son’s shame and fear. 

“Young Naberrie it is good to see you.” Bail said with a soft smile.

“You knew my mother,” Luke said softly.

“Of course I did.”

“It would be skywalker,” Obi-Wan interjected.

Organa shot him a look with more anger than Obi-Wan had ever seen on that man’s face.  Obi-Wan folded his arms trying to not show that the look had unsettled him. 

“Yes, I suppose it would be. Though it could also be Kenobi.” Organa said his voice was kind, likely as Luke had nothing to do with their past. 

“I don’t usually have a last name.” Luke explained, “So any one is fine.”

“I did know your mother, maybe we can talk about her later. Right now I need to talk to your Buir for a few minutes if that suits you.”

“Yeah of course. Alema and Bialla should be back soon so I can get them to tell me about the rebellion since dad won’t.” Luke pointedly said before walking away.

“Hello, old friend.” Obi-Wan greeted giving him a smile.

“What is Luke doing with you? He was meant to be with his aunt and uncle.”

“I kept him with me. I can’t explain to you why...”

“You’re going to say the force aren’t you?”

“Quite possibly.”

“Ah yes, the force. Haven’t heard much of it in quite a long time.” Bail sighed.

“You’re still being ruled by it, even if you don’t believe it guides you, it guides The Emperor.”

“I should have known you’d have him with you. You’d take him with you before you'd leave him alone.”

“I’d never leave him alone unless I had no other choice.”

“If you have Luke, why did you ask to join up with the rebellion?”

 “Luke was the one who asked us to join with all of you. I wouldn't have allowed it, but he is fourteen, old enough to be a real Padawan. A commander if we were in the clone wars.”Obi-Wan rambled. 

“You are still judging the world in terms of the Jedi,” Bail said with a half-smile.

“I’ve always been a Jedi. Since before I could even make memories. And even now I practice my way of life as best I can. Pass it on to Luke.”

“I understand. I could not stop being Alderanian.”

“Nor should you.” Obi-Wan met his eyes, “how is she?”

“Leia is wonderful.” Bail’s whole demeanour changed radiating pride, “She is everything and more.”

“As a daughter of her parents would be. What does she know?”

“She knows nothing of any of it beyond that she is adopted.”

“Luke knows who his parents are and that they both died in the rise of the empire.’

“Does he know who his father became?”

“No. I...I Don't” Obi-Wan stared at my hands, He couldn't think of Vader.

“Yes, probably for the best. But I do think he isn’t going to take your last name. He should be a Naberrie.”

“When it’s safe, I'll let him decide what name he wants to use.”

“I respect that,” he nodded.

“What did you need to tell me?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Mostly I just wanted to talk. To tell you Leia is okay. And to tell you that we will need you, eventually, we will need you and the other force users to do more.”

“Luke will be a part of it.”

“Jedi wisdom?”

“Yes. Luke will be necessary. Leia most likely too, she is a Skywalker as well.”

“Leia is an Organa. She doesn’t have anything to do with the man who killed her mother .”

 Obi-Wan flinched hard and folded my arms across my chest, “I can’t think of it like that.”

“You loved Anakin.”

“He was my brother.”

“Fine. But he must go down.”

“Yes, Vader and The Emperor must be killed.”

“Good, we're all on the same page.”

“But Luke will play a part in bringing down the empire, and I will guide him there. I can promise you that.” Obi-Wan said solemnly

Bail nodded.

“I’ll get Luke and you can tell him about his mother?” Obi-Wan suggested trying to put a light tone to his voice.

“Sounds good,” Bail agreed.

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke turned when she saw Alema and Bialla looking absolutely floored behind them. 

“Senator Organa would like to talk to you, Luke.” His dad said with a smile. 

“Senator Organa?” Bialla coughed up her caf, “As in Bail Organa? The leader of the rebellion?”

“Yes,” His dad said casually, “Luke he’s in the common area.”

Luke climbed up the stairs and made his way to the common area feeling very young. The Leader of the Rebellion? He hadn’t known that . But of course, he was, His dad always spoke so highly of him so, of course, he would be the one defending the innocent. 

“Hello, young Naberrie.” He said sitting on the bench by the table.

“Hello, Senator Organa.” Luke sat next to him.

“I was good friends and political allies with your mother.”

“I know. That's why you call me Naberrie.” Luke said awkwardly brushing his blond hair from his eyes.

“That is why I say that yes. I cared for her greatly.”

Luke nodded, then paused, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I’m the reason she died, she died giving birth to me. So ‘s my fault.” He always felt that he must have hurt his mom in some way. Done something bad, why else would his mom disappear? He looked down at his shoes hiding his shame from the older man. 

“No. It’s not your fault. She was injured badly and never fully woke up after that. You are not to blame for her death.”

“You’re sure?”Luke breathed. 

“Absolutely. Her injuries stopped her from being able to survive childbirth. It had nothing to do with you.”

“Okay... I hope my sister knows about that.”

“You have a sister?”

“Yes. Though that's all I know about her.” Luke peered over at the older man. He wasn’t telling him something. Multiple somethings. He couldn’t get a clear image of what he wasn’t saying. But there were raging emotions and the tale-tale feeling of not being told the whole truth.

“You have that Jedi expression of knowing something you shouldn’t,” Senator Organa said with a soft smile on his face.

“Well, I have to. You're not telling me something.”

Senator Organa seemed to weigh things in his mind, “Your Buir will be mad with me.”

Luke shrugged, “He'll be fine.”

“I know of your sister.”

Luke felt his chest fill with bubbles, his sister! He’d always wanted to know more of her.

“Her name is Leia.”

Leia? That was a wonderful name! Of course, he’d love any name his sister had just because it was hers. It was the best thing he’d ever heard because it was hers. He finally had a name to put to the nebulous concept of his sister. Someone he’d always dreamed of seeing, and never even considered the idea she was dead. He couldn’t have accepted she was dead unless someone told him so. And even then he would believe it unless he felt like, He knew he would be able to sense it  when she died, no matter how far away they were from each other he’d feel it. 

“Anything else you can tell me?” Luke said, staring at The Senator, his heart banging in anticipation.

“No, I'm sorry. Not without putting you both in danger.”

“Of karking course. Safety, it’s always about safety. But I'm not safe. I’m a Jedi, I'll never be safe.” Luke said, getting to his feet crossing his arms turning to face the senator. He felt bad after though his face was so tired, it looked so much like his own buir. But the anger and sadness at being left in the dark still hurt, still made his heartburn.

“That may be so. But think of your sister.”

“I suppose she isn’t a Jedi, is she? She might be able to be safe.”

“Exactly.”

“It’s like why my buir didn’t originally want to tell me of my parents. He was worried it would make me unsafe. But I'll find her one day. I just know I will.” Luke challenged, waiting to see him deny this.

“Hopefully in happier times.”

“So my mother?” Luke changed the topic

The Senator talked about different political things they worked on skipping the details. 

“My mother. When was the last time you saw her?”

“Why would you want to know that?”

Luke shrugged, he wasn’t sure but he wanted to know.

“Well, I saw her as she died. I was there.”

“That’s how you know my sister's name.”

“Yes.”

“So you saw me as a baby.” Luke smiled at this, “You’re my family.”

“I’d be honoured if you’d think of me like that.”

The Senator checked his chronometer, “I have to go. Good to see you again Padawan Naberrie.”

Luke awkwardly bowed his head

La’ara walked in and did a start when she saw Senator Organa. 

“Well ahh. Good to see you, senator.”

“Captain. I was just leaving. Take care of our Luke please.”

“We take care of each other.”

The senator walked from the room regally as possible and then in a few minutes, the rest of the crew including his father came into the room looking confused.

“How do you know the karking leader of the rebellion?” La’ara asked, “I’ve only ever seen him, not talked to him.”

Luke watched his father look for an answer before seeming to find one, “He knew Luke's mother.”

“Oh.” The others nodded sadly, clearly knowing better than to ask more questions. Except for La’ara who looked from me to my father with an expression that seemed to know there was more going on. Curse my buir for teaching her to be in touch with the force. Luke could feel anticipation and questions rolling off her in a way that became almost oppressive.

“You’re working on your shielding,” Luke said, holding his head against the banging.

~~~~~

Luke and his dad had finished their meditation session with La’ara who had gone off to switch in the flying seat while the “proper” Jedi did their training.

“I have something I need to tell you.” Luke started.

“What did Bail say?” His dad said, sitting back down. 

“He told me my sister's name.”

His dad's hand held his head for a long moment before looking up, “I should have known he’d be unable to not tell you something.”

“It’s not his fault. I asked.”

“I’m not mad at either of you dear one. I just hope it never becomes a liability for her.”

“It won’t. I'll be careful no inquisitor will find her.”

“I don’t doubt that. And just a first name shouldn’t be too much of a giveaway.”

Luke nodded vigorously. 

“Okay well. I hope you and Leia meet one day.”

“Me too,” Luke said wistfully. 

Pausing he considered if he wanted to say this or not but decided to go with it.

“You never reassured me that she.. it wasn’t my fault my mother died”

“I told you she was injured.”

“But not that it wasn’t my fault,” Luke said, his voice rising a few decibels. 

“Shh luke you'll bother the rest of the crew.”

“I have a right to be loud. I blamed myself for my mother's death. Senator Organa told me that it wasn’t my fault that my mom had gotten hurt badly enough that she died giving birth because of that.”

“You’re right luke. I should have been more clear, I didn't realise you had been blaming yourself all these years.”

“How could I not?”

“Because that’s not how babies work.”

“I don’t know how babies work!” Luke raised his hands, “you never told me about how babies are born just embarrassed me telling me how they're made.”

His dad laughed a bit, “Sorry. Even if a woman dies only of complications from birth it doesn't make it the baby's fault. They couldn’t have done anything to make it happen, they aren’t even born yet.”

Luke shrugged, “I guess I felt like there was something wrong with me. I don’t know.”

“Your mother would have loved you so much, Luke. Padmé wouldn’t have just let you be alone.”

Luke felt his dad falter in the force. A shot of despair ran through him while he thought about Padmé. And it made Luke a little annoyed. They were talking about him right then. 

But Luke placed a hand on his dad’s shoulder, “We’ll be an okay dad right?”

“Of course.” His dad said softly., “I need to go lay down.”

“Sure,” Luke said under his breath. 

~~~~~

Luke huffed as he leapt over a crate landing back to a wall next to La’ara and Biallia.

“Having fun yet?” Biallia asked, “This is everything you dreamed being a soldier would be.”

“Oh, Kark you.” Luke ground out.

La’ara counted down with her fingers before Luke used the force and shoved the crates forward, knocking into the crowd of people before them. 

“Pirates,” Luke complained he jumped over the top getting himself on the outside. He got to the other side of a wall. He reached for his sabre but the crowd of people reminded me he couldn’t. Not exposed not like this. There wasn't an imperial presence here; they were just bought off by the pirates.

He focused on the presence of his buir a few hangers down leaving the message to trace us into their bond. 

The three of them were herded into the pirate ship along with the cargo meant to be the rebellions. 

Luke ground his teeth. 

“Karking pirates what do you want from us?”

“You’re clearly breaking imperial rules. We can hand you over. Part of our deal so we can continue our more questionable acts.”

“You will never get away with this,” Biallia said in a sing-song voice.

She took a backhand to the face but just smiled back.

 “I do whatever I want, you bastard. And I will not be going to the imperial hands. karking idiots.” La’ara sneered.

In a long moment, Luke smiled. He focused on the rest of the room pushing backwards with his tied hands shoving the people behind them off the blasters no longer held to their heads.

La’ara backed up kicking the bin that held their taken weapons and coms. La’ara took Luke's lightsabers, cutting his bonds. Luke swung his sabre and cut through multiple pirates. Then a ship came next to them and he felt the presence of the rest of the crew and then the door to the ship was opened and shut and his father stood their lightsabers held high. 

“Ready?” He commented nonchalantly.

“ Jedi!” One screamed

The six remaining pirates had split reactions. Three looked terrified. But the captain smiled.

“Our bounty will be even higher” He smirked, holding up his blaster shooting towards Biallia.

Before Luke could reply his dad jumped in front of Biallia sending the blaster bolt flying into the ship’s controls. Sending sparks and the ship shuddered and then veered off course.

The two Jedi moved quickly cutting through all of the pirates till they all lay dead. At the same time, La’ara jumped forward and took control of the ship, putting  it down roughly in a field. The ship half crashed/half landed to be completely honest. 

But they all lived and quickly crawled out.

“We have to blow it completely up,” La’ara said.

“Yes, I agree. It’s very clear they died of lightsaber strikes.” His dad agreed.

Climbing into the StarRunner Luke felt the lingering sting of death. A coldness seeping into him that he knew, he’d felt it in sharp moments when fighting. But now his connection to the force was stronger, it flowed through him in larger waves, he could hold his shields up, keeping the worst away. But the pain still left a deep pressure on the door of his shields. 

He could also tell his dad and La’ara felt the same way. His dad was stronger and seemed more in control than normal like he always did when he was able to become a Jedi in full. La’ara looked fine. He knew she could feel it, but was much better at steeling herself for the way death felt than when she had freed those slaves with Bo-Katan. 

They watched from the closing ramp as the other crew members shot the ship below them. It went up in flames and then it was done.

“We have to get out of here.” his dad said, Alema seemed to agree with them as the ship took off.

“So we don’t have what you wanted, we got attacked by pirates and kind of had to get the hell outta there before someone realised we kind of blew up a ship and they worked for the empire so if imperials came sniffing around we’d be in even more trouble,” La’ara said into the holocom where the image of Ahsoka stood arms crossed.

“That’s fine, I'd rather have you not in the hands of the empire than get that shipment. Losing you to the empire would be a greater loss.” Ahsoka said with a nod.“We’ll send you a time and place for the next pick up. Fulcrum out.”

~~~~~

Luke sighed it was empire day. This year had been wild with starting working with the rebellion. He wanted nothing more than to help people. He was glad his father had let him help. It did nothing for his dad’s anxiety though. He was good during fights, helpful and brave. But afterwards, he was not doing very well.  Like right now his dad was in bed for the second day. And Luke could feel absolute despair. The feeling oozing from the cabin  was dark, it was empty and it ached . 

Luke wondered if his dad knew he felt this. His dad wasn’t this bad often, not since Luke was little. But it still hurt. Hurt that even with everything they did and how Luke was trying to be so good his dad still sometimes seemed to get to a point where his whole life force seemed to dissipate. As Luke grew up he’d understood it past just knowing his dad wasn’t well. He could name the emotions and could compare the depths of the overwhelm his dad went through to the days the rest of them on this ship had bad days. 

But Luke was no better at making his dad better, he still could do nothing but be there for him to try and share calming energy. But it didn’t do much. So it left Luke with the same protective feeling he always had. And the dream that if he did enough good somehow it would counteract all the bad his Buir had seen. 

Luke’s melancholic ruminations were interrupted By Alema. 

“Hey kid, what are you doing?”

“Thinking,” Luke said, drawing his fingers across the table. 

“You and your dad are always so sad around Empire day, and your birthday.”

“I know,” Luke said, shaking his head. 

“I’m sorry about it. I know how hard those days must have been for you all. Losing all the Jedi like that, and your mom dying.”

Luke nodded miserably. 

“So I thought you would want to practice your Twilik'i. I know it always makes you focus on something else.”

Luke agreed and lost himself in the vocab games with Alema, it had a meditative quality to it and Luke loved it. 

~~~~~

“I got a message from an old smuggling contact about spice transport. I think we should take it. The rebellion doesn’t exactly pay well.” Biallia said looking at the old com.

“Sounds fine to me,” La’ara said.

The group broke up with Luke and his dad going to the hold to practice. 

Easing into his meditation Luke imagined the force moving through him in a gentle river. But the force of the outside put pressure on him. And then he saw the face of a man with dark tan skin, hair in dreadlocks and a tattoo of a yellow stripe across it. A woman who looked a bit scary with light blond hair and sharp features. 

Luke came to look up at his dad who was staring at him with worried eyes. 

He relayed his vision and his dad’s emotions rammed into the shield in his mind. Exaltation and dread in equal measure.

“He’s alive.”

Something clicked in his head about his dad’s stories, this man was Vos and the woman had to be Ventress.

La’ara came rushing in, “I had a vision of a planet. Florrum I think It’s meant for you two.”

“That makes sense, Luke just had a vision of an old friend makes sense the two visions would be tied.”

“That makes woo woo Jedi sense”

“Can we go there? You can drop Luke and me off and come back after the shipment is complete.”

“Why would I leave you there?”

“I need to speak with Vos, the man in Luke's vision, and Luke would definitely learn from the two of them.”

“Okay.” La’ara said, “I don’t like it, but I understand”

Chapter Text

Before Luke and his dad could detach the comet mom Acroum was fretting over them. 

“Mom Acroum, we’ll be fine.” His dad said rubbing his hands together, “We need to get going and so do all of you.”

“And don’t worry about us if we need to get out of here we have the comet,” Luke added.

“Yes, you're right. I will see you both soon, com us when you’re done. Behave and don’t get yourself killed.” She gave them a stiff nod and got on the ship.

“She’s scared,” Luke told his dad, the sharpness of fear hurt his head, it was different from his dad’s fear which was the low pit that sucks things in, Mom Acroum’s felt like needles.

“She is scared for us, for her crew without the people who’ve spent the last seven years as extra protection for her daughters.”

“Only La’ara is her daughter.” Luke corrected.

“Have they not taught you anything yet?”

They landed down but all Luke could think was that they were all family. La’ara said so, and maybe even the others believed it to be true for them all. Luke felt a swish of joy inside him, that was amazing. 

“Calm down Luke,” His dad instructed. “I’m not sure what’s on this planet”

So they walked in silence eventually coming to a hill where his dad started to move faster turning in a stance Luke recognised. He followed and brought out his sabre.

The woman from Luke’s vision jumped down hitting his dad over the head but his dad blocked it.

“Hello, Ventress.” His dad said with a grin.

“You! Oh and a Padawan! How cute.” Her voice dripped with annoyance. But her Force signature read as excited. 

“I’m here for Vos.”His dad explained.

“What do you want with Vos?”

“Luke saw him in a vision, He’s meant to meet with Vos.”

“Trusting the Force still?”

“Is there anything else to trust?”

Luke checked between them keeping his blade raised. 

Ventress retracted her blade, “Come along then Obi-Wan.”

His dad stiffened at the name bringing his arms into his sleeves like he did when stressed.

“I’m Ben now.” His dad said, shaking his head.

“And I guess you’re Luke,” Ventress said, giving Luke an appraising stare.

Luke didn’t say anything.

They were led into a cave through a few turns before coming into a cave that was done up to look like a nice apartment space, not that Luke had ever actually seen one, the nicest places he’d been were hostels and the StarRunner. But he guessed the word was cosy. It was warm and the walls were covered in what looked like carpet. There were beds and couches along with a kitchen and table. 

“My friend.” His dad said meeting the other man, Vos, in a hug.

“I felt you coming.” Vos said, “What brings you here?”

Luke finally felt like he could speak, “I saw you in a vision”

“Your vision gave you a location and everything?” Vos asked.

“No, our friend saw Florum in a vision and we put them together,” Luke explained.

“Nice. Anything specific you need from me?”

“Training.” His dad said awkwardly

“Something you think I can teach that you can’t? You’ve had a padawan too.”

His dad flinched at this, and a grim look passed over Vos.

“So Anakin as well?”

“Aayla?”

They both just nodded.

“But you're alive right now.” Luke told them, they couldn’t fall apart on him now, “And that’s what matters, we have a duty.”

“To do what?” Vos asked, sitting on one of his couches, arms raised in a shrugging gesture.

“Master Qui-Gon’s spirit told me when I was a youngling I would help bring down the empire. My dad told me your connection to the Force was unique and important and you were a master right?” Luke prodded.

“You’re correct. But psychometry is a gift, not something that can be taught.”

“I was more thinking just another perspective on the Force from those questions. And you teach him Vaapad.” His buir explained. 

“Woah he is too young and vulnerable for that.”

“Luke will face Vader one day.” His dad said solemnly, “He will need to know how to balance emotion with discipline. He can not be taken.”

“Taken won’t he just be killed? He is only a padawan?”

“I’m not just any padawan.” Luke said feeling a dark soup of fear and anger stir in him.”Ben is my dad.”

“So that’s the pseudonym you chose? And you had a kid! Wait, how old are you Luke?”

“Fifteen.” Luke said, “Plenty old enough to learn the ways of the Force.”

“I don’t doubt your aptitude Padawan. I doubt that I can teach it without causing more harm than good.” Vos explained.

“Well, you see I don't care. I have a galaxy to save, I don't have the luxury of taking it slow.” Luke retorted.

“Okay, I'm meant to be teaching a child a dangerous form.” Vos said, “What do you know so far?”

“Forms one, three and Both varieties of form five,” Luke said.

“That's good. A good baseline. Though why not start with Ataru, I can teach that without opening myself up to the dark? That could be very useful!”

“Why can’t she teach me?” Luke pointed to Ventress, “If you’re too much of a hut'uun.”

“Oh wow. The mouth of this kid.” Vos laughed, “Mister flawless basic teaching his son mando’a curses.”

His dad shrugged, “I also taught him hutteses.”

“Great.” Ventress groaned from the corner.

“I also know Twi'leki and binary.”

“Good, great polyglot who's already mastered multiple forms. You're not going to be a pain in the ass to teach.” Vos said sarcastically. 

Luke smiled brightly so he would teach him!

“But now we eat,” Ventress announced placing food on the table.

Vos, or properly Master Vos, traded stories of being on the run with Luke's dad. They drifted to the good old days too. Like his dad would reliably do.

“So kid, want to look through the caves out back while they chatter like old men?”

Luke agreed following her out the back door. The caves in the back were full of crystals and big formations of rock.

“Wow,” Luke exclaimed.

“Pretty good huh?” She said, “We found these here a few years ago, well years florrum time I don’t know the calculation to empirical time. If you go far enough and don’t take any outlets you can go straight to the other side of the mountain range. ”

Luke nodded, the dark of the caves went out for miles, the crystals like stars. 

“It’s like the sky in space.”

“I think so.”

They returned to find Master Vos and his dad sitting at the mouth of the cave drinking something Luke could smell from the inside of the cave.

“Guess it was Quinlan's time to get drunk in the past. I do it too.”

“My dad can get drunk in the past without alcohol involved,” Luke said feeling a mix of annoyance and grief at the subject. 

“Wanna play some cards?”

“Sure.” Luke shrugged. 

They played for a while before his dad leaned on Master Vos who was looking about to fall himself. 

Luke jumped up taking his dad’s other arm laying him out on the couch. The half-asleep Master Vos had to be laid on his bed with the help of Ventress. 

“Well we better sleep, you aren't getting any training done now. Not with your father and Quinlan asleep.”

“Dad, or buir. Don’t call him my father.” Luke cut in a wave of some emotion crashing over him.

Ventress raised her hands in surrender, “Didn’t know that got you riled up.”

Luke gave her a dirty look before pulling a sleeping roll out of his pack and laying down.

~~~~~

Luke woke up breathing hard images of crashing red and blue blades spinning in his head. The room seemed to thrum with energy.

His dad was knelt down next to him, 

“Hey, you’re okay Ad’ika.” He said, taking Luke’s hand.

“Nightmare,” Luke muttered, squeezing his dad’s hand.

“No shit. What did you see, kid?” Master Vos called.

“Lightsaber duel, inquisitors.”

“Kriff.” Vos said, grabbing a bottle of water and tossing one to his dad, “Fight any yet?”

“Buir has,” Luke said.

“Nasty pieces of work. They aren’t even truly skilled in the dark.” Ventress commented, biting into some kind of jerky.

“Kark, I have a headache.” Master Vos complained.

“You and Kenobi went a little overboard last night.” Ventres jabbed.

“Haven’t seen another Jedi since the war Ventress.” Master Vos countered

“Yes, yes I understand,” Ventres complained but her voice was sympathetic. 

“You’re in love,” Luke said he'd felt love, of course, the crew of the StarRuner was overflowing with the stuff. But this was different; this must be what romance felt like. And Luke didn’t know what he thought about it.

“What about it?” Master Vos countered, “Clearly your dad didn’t follow the Jedi code either.”

“Don’t bring me into this.” His dad said.

“Nothing, I just don’t think I've ever seen people in love, like romantically. It feels different than family.”

“It does.” Vos agreed, “Impressed you can tell the difference as you’re still a padawan.”

“How could you not?” Luke said, scrunching his nose.

“He’s right Luke, not everyone is as in tune with people's moods.”

Luke was about to say he had to be, that he’d learned it to know what his dad was thinking, and when his dad wasn’t going to be up to doing things that day. But that seemed cruel, his dad already felt bad about how he wasn’t well some days.

“Since I'm not quite ready for training Vaapad after last night, why don’t you try free climbing these rocks, Ventress can catch you if you fall.”

“What good will that do?” Luke asked, scratching his head.

“It will show me your physicality in the Force. Vaapad takes a lot of pretty heavy physical exertion.”

Luke nodded his agreement walking out into the arid climate reading himself to jump. He made good air getting almost halfway up and clung easily to the cliff face. Making the rest of the way was pretty easy for a while till the cliff face was clean. And he realised what he needed to do. Jump back down, this was part of the test. Luke let go falling straight down till he used the Force to propel himself to a ledge that he could land easily on. Landing not exactly with grace but the Force cushioned his landing and he didn’t injure anything. He jumped easily down from there to the ground landing without letting out a sound.

“Nice work padawan Kenobi.”

Luke pulled a face.

“Don’t like your last name.”

“You know your shields can be as good as you want but they don’t mean much if you make faces like that.” His dad said tiredly.

“Call me Luke.” 

“Okay what about Padawan Kyrez.” Vos teased.

He felt anger flare through him at that. Everyone thought Satine was his mother just because his dad had been in love with her. Like come on it was possible he could have done sex stuff with someone after that. And it always made him feel kriffing awful because his mom didn’t matter. Luke only ever got to talk about her to his dad who told the same stories over and over again. And Senator Organa talked about her like she was someone in a history book. He would never know her and all anyone could talk about was Satine.

“Not my mom.” Luke said through ground teeth, “Everyone assumes she’s my mom. But I don't know her or my mom. So if everyone could quit trying to guess who my karking mom is we could move on to important stuff like ending this blasted war.”

“I like this kid,” Ventres said out of nowhere. “He’s got spirit.

“He’s got a bad mood is what he’s got. What’s wrong Luke?”His dad asked.

Luke schooled his emotions bringing his mind back to a calm place and felt his face flush with embarrassment to his outburst, “I’m sorry. I just, I can't handle this, I can't handle people not remembering her. “

“She won’t be forgotten,” His dad said, and Luke could feel him drifting. 

“Hey dad, why don’t you meditate?” Luke suggested.

“That’s a good plan Luke, thank you for the suggestion.” His dad looked relieved to get to leave the situation and Luke grimaced, he didn’t get an out even though he was the one who’d gotten emotional.

“Come on, I need to see your form five with Ventress.” Master Vos instructed.

Luke saluted his counterpart before moving into his attack. It was fluid against a partner like Ventress. But her pressure made him switch to form three and back to form give. He gave Ventress a push with the force. He caught himself switching back to form three but it was with only a minor stutter in his footwork. Keeping it up for a few more minutes before Ventress sighed and threw him back bringing her blade to his neck.

“That was awesome!” Luke cheered, jumping to his feet. 

“You know I told you to keep to form five and you didn’t.” Vos chastised.

“I think it was more impressive that he was able to hold out longer by changing his form. And both times they were as perfect as you could ask for a padawan.” Master Ventress commented.

“I’m with Master Ventress on this one,” Luke commented, giving them a lopsided smile.

“Master Ventress.” She said, giving Master Vos a sly look, “I like that.”

“You deserve it. You're gonna have to help me get Kenobi’s padawan fight as he means it.”

“I can shoot a blaster,” Luke said not sure why

“Good everyone should know how to use a blaster, they come in dead handy,” Ventress commented.

“Ventress want to get the kid some water?”

“I’m not your servant?” She said. 

Vos turned, giving her a meaningful look she nodded and left.

“What is it?” Luke said suspiciously.

“Your dad. Is he okay?” Master Vos asked, putting his hand on Luke's arm.

“Of course he is.” Luke shrugged Master Vos off.

“No, I can tell some things off. In the same way, anyone who met me after knowing me in the before times would tell me something was wrong. Though I kind of already made everyone worry.”

“What do you mean?”

“I touched the dark kid, I know your dad told you I went on more dark missions than other people.”

Luke nodded.

“Well, I went too far. I told you that the form was dangerous, but it was unfair. It’s not the form's fault, it was my own choice.”

“What do you mean?””

“Always watch your choices and you can quickly find yourself making ones you didn’t think you could when push comes to shove. Be mindful of your thoughts.”

Luke nodded.

“So your dad. Is he okay, on the spectrum of karked in the head to might keel over and die today where is he?”

“I mean he hasn't seen a healer in Force knows how long, but I don’t think he’s going to die. And he isn’t always well now. But I take care of him, and he’s been doing better. You just got alcohol from him, that isn’t his fault.” Luke explained balling his fists. 

“Woah young one, I'm not mad at him or you. I think he’s earned a little not well after everything he’s been through. He’s famously unlucky, but he hung out with Skywalker who is famously lucky in battle. So I guess it worked out.”

“Anakin was lucky?” Luke said, “He had a terrible life.”

“Well maybe. But that doesn’t mean the guy didn’t pull off some breathtaking victories.”

Luke nodded, “He was the best pilot ever.”

“That what your dad tells you? Course he would, that's his padawan. But Skywalker was really good. I'll give him that. Damn good.”

“Can I come back now?” Master Ventress called.

“Yes, Asajj you're good.” Master Vos called out.

~~~~~

Luke was exhausted. He sparred with Master Ventress and climbed the cliffside multiple times each with only breaks for the water that came from some cactus for breaks.

Sitting down on the couch. His dad who had been roused to eat with them taking in the meal slowly. Luke could feel him in the Force. Whatever he had talked about with Mater Vos had really karked him up. And it brought out the worst in him. Luke also really wanted to try alcohol. The StarRunner crew always seemed to use it to celebrate and so did the clones in his dad’s stories. But it also seems to make people melancholic. He wondered if it had something to do with the Force. 

“We’ll be training properly tomorrow.” Master Vos said, “It was good to see you move today. Your son there has some very good lightsaber skills and you trained him well.”

“Thank you, Luke is amazing.” His dad agreed.

“He could hold his own for a good while against me.” Master Ventress commented. “When you are here for a bit I'll have to go against you for another round. See how you improve.”

“I could also practice my Jark’i! We would have two other lightsabers for protection.” Luke said turning to his dad, “I could use yours?”

“I think that would be great. Next time we see Fulcrum you can show her.”His dad agreed.

Luke beamed at this. He couldn’t wait to show Ahsoka. He hadn’t seen her in six years, she would be so proud of him for coming so far.

“Now let’s get some sleep.” Master Vos said standing to extinguish the light above them.

~~~~~

Luke followed along with the steps, strikes, blocks. The movements required intention and strength. The wide strikes could easily disarm, or kill anyone who came. But the blocking seemed like it would be less effective against blasters as it didn’t have the close controlled blocking of Form three. 

“You're good at this, I can feel the effort flowing off. You don’t have the flow down yet your movements are choppy.” Vos commented

“His strikes and blocks are always choppy. Takes a while for him to get the flow of forms.” Luke’s dad explained. 

“Buir.” Luke said, turning to face his father, “are you doing okay?”

Master Vos came towards him and jumped. Luke leaned back and threw his sabre up. Sabere hit sabere but Luke fell.

“Don’t lose your combat awareness.” Master Vos instructed turning his back.

Luke Came at him back and they fought, their blades crashing harshly into each other. Luke tried to remember what he was just taught but he could tell his movements were choppy not matching the smooth movement of Vos. But Luke could tell Master Vos also slipped out of vaapad, to a form he didn’t recognise. 

He started to flip and move in acrobatics Luke didn’t use in his fighting. But Luke decided to match the movements. But it didn’t last long as Master Vos got him off his rhythm and his blade singed his hair. 

“I think I should teach you some Ataru. I will get back to Vaapad. But its strength in movements will get you ready for Vaapad.”

“Yes, I'll admit it’s likely the best for Luke.” His dad agreed.

Master Vos turned to Luke and bowed. “Now we’re done. We need to drink something. Then we’ll move towards incorporating acrobatics into the fighting style. Use of the Force in movements is key to Ataru so is using your Force to overpower opponents, little focus on defence, that goes against your Soresu training, and it doesn’t focus and breaking the person's stride but never letting them get there, so different from Shien and Djem So.”

“Yes Master”

Master Vos left going towards the house. 

Luke ran to his Buir. “Are you okay Buir?”

“Yes, Ad'ika. The tiredness is bad, but I’ll be okay.”

“Okay, Buir.”

But Luke knew something else was up. 

Chapter Text

Obi Wan

A full four-person mediation circle did a lot to soften his frayed nerves. He trusted the crew of the StarRunner, and teaching La’ara was his honour. But having presences that didn’t feel like his responsibility felt very reassuring. He cared for Vos; they had been friends since they were padawans. And Ventress, well she was Ventress, they had a complicated connection. But Vos loved her, and to everyone's surprise, she loved Vos. She’d brought him back to the light, someone who had kissed the dark had been more powerful than the entirety of the council. 

Love, love, love.

“You're drifting Ben,” Vos said.

“He’s not that bad he doesn't feel like fog in my head,” Luke commented and Obi-Wan could feel the melancholy in his child's voice.

“Training bond?” Ventress questioned.

“No, we've always had it,” Luke explained

“Well, I was there when you were born. I’m not sure why but I’m thankful for it.”

“Want to begin training?” Vos suggested

Obi-Wan duelled Vos while he uses Vaapad to give Luke a demonstration at full speed. Obi-Wan and Vos met at a stalemate both laying in the sand staring at the sky.

“Pity would have been fun to see one of you destroyed.'' Ventress joked.

“Well, I'll duel you later so you can put me in my place,” Vos said as Obi-Wan placed his head in his hands.

“Gross.” Luke humphed.

“Kid’s right,” Ventress said but then sighed in a fond kind of way.

“Anyway, I'm going to go hunt for some food. People only pass through rarely so I had to get good and catch things” Vos said, grabbing a leather bag.

“I’ll come with you.” Obi-Wan offered.

“You’re going to leave your son with me?!” Ventres asked, surprised.

“You didn’t kill him while I was passed out drunk, and I know you can keep yourselves safe long enough for us to get back. Plus we aren’t going far, are we Vos?”

“No, we're pretty close.”

They walked little ways before Obi-Wan stopped Vos.

“I need to tell you something.”

“What’s up?” Vos asked.

“Anakin..he’s not dead.”

“Then where is he?” He could feel Vos’s piercing gaze and Force presence.

Obi-Wan passed him his lightsaber and Vos took it wearily.

He watched Vos stumble back and half fall on the ground.

“Anakin’s eyes.” He said, “He fell?”

“So that’s still the strongest memory,” Obi-Wan said numbly.

“I had flashes of Luke but then that memory , just those eyes hit me like a star destroyer.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Your Padawan? If he’s not dead. No!”

Obi-Wan nodded miserably, his emotions and energy draining from his body.

Vos’s eyes flashed and he stood. “Aalya died in order 66, she died!”

“I know.

“Everyone died!”

“Kriff I know.”

“I almost died.”

“I know.”

Vos sat down harshly. “So your Anakin is Vader.”

“Yes.”

“You Bastard. How could this not be the first Karking thing you said!” Vos growled.

“Luke doesn’t know. But I did plan to tell you. You can handle it.”

“Handle it.” Vos breathed and shrugged, “I am sorry though. I know that can’t be easy. Losing Anakin that way.”

“I don’t need your sympathy. I know it’s my fault.” Obi-Wan muttered.

“You probably karked up somewhere along the way. But we all know Anakin was friends with our glorious Emperor. My guess is he karked with Anakin’s head. Not to mention everything else that was wrong with the entirety of the galaxy at that point. And it couldn’t have been all your fault. I mean Yoda and the rest of the council have a part too. So it’s not all your fault.”

“Thank you for saying that” But Obi-Wan still wasn’t sure he believed that. 

“You fought him?”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t kill him.”

“Thought I had,” Obi-Wan said, spreading his hands in defeat. 

“There is something I don’t think you’ve considered.” Vos said with faux nonchalant.

“What’s that?”

“He made a choice. We are all only responsible for what we’ve done. He decided to kill our family, not you.” 

“I raised him,” Obi-Wan begged.

“Luke...”

“What about him?”

“You didn't give Luke up to be raised by somebody else.” 

“Of course not.” Obi-Wan said, “At this point, I'm sure I made the right decision. He’s everything.”

“My point. Somewhere you know you aren’t why Anakin did what he did. I know what it’s like to be poisoned by the dark. It’s not something you can always fight. But you always make a choice in the end.”

They stood there in the arid climate. The wind picked up and sand drifted between them. Obi-Wan felt deeply empty and unreal. His eyes glazed over. But he took a long breath and tried to think of a fact to hold on to.

“You know he’s Anakin’s by blood.” Obi-Wan offered.

“So Padmé's his mom.” 

Obi-Wan nodded morosely.

“That’s why he was pissed at being called a Kenobi and a Kyrze.” Vos said with a snap of his fingers.