Chapter Text
Lockdown had finally lifted enough that Josh could make the trip back to Ohio to prep for the upcoming tour. It had been... an experience creating new music together during a global pandemic, with zoom jams and pushing their ISP upload limits to the max. Tyler couldn’t express how happy he was that it was finally over.
Or, at least, starting to be over.
He would have met Josh at the airport, but that idea had earned an “Absolutely not!” from Jenna. According to her, airports were still hotbeds of disease – which was probably true. Though, to be fair, after being separated from his best friend for so long, Tyler wouldn’t have cared if the airport was a hotbed of freaking zombies. But you can’t win an argument against your wife, so he had to settle for pacing in the front hallway until Josh’s Uber arrived.
He heard the engine and didn’t wait for the doorbell. “Jish!” he cried happily. Bounding down the driveway as the Uber pulled away, Tyler launched himself at his best friend. Jim, deciding it was a wonderful game, joined in and they all tumbled to the ground laughing.
Wait…
Josh wasn’t laughing. He wasn’t even smiling.
“Jishwa? What’s wrong?”
Jenna appeared at the door with Rosie in tow. Seeing one of his favorite miniature humans, Jim abandoned them to cover a giggling Rosie in sloppy canine kisses.
“Where’s Debby?” Jenna asked with a frown.
Oh, right… Josh’s wife. Tyler hadn’t even noticed she wasn’t there.
Searching his best friend’s face as he helped him to his feet, Tyler noticed that there were dark circles under the other man’s eyes and a hard set to his jaw that meant he was repressing emotion. Something was wrong.
“Debby’s not coming,” Josh told them.
Tyler dropped his voice. “Is everything okay, man?”
Josh shook his head once but said no more. Tyler glanced in Jenna’s direction and saw that his wife was already herding Rosie and Jim into the house.
“I’ll just get these monsters settled while you two catch up,” she called.
Tyler nodded, even though he knew she couldn’t see the movement. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around. They’d never get a chance to talk if they followed the others inside; Rosie loved her Uncle Josh almost as much as she loved his “puppy.” She’d be all over them in minutes. His eyes fell on the path that led into the forest behind the house. It was where Tyler usually ended up when the world got to be too much and he needed to get away.
He bumped his shoulder against Josh’s and nodded toward the path. “Let’s have a walk,” he suggested. Shoulders slumped, Josh followed without a word.
They walked along the forest trail until the reached one of Tyler’s favorite spots, a massive fallen tree in a tiny clearing by the lake. He flopped down on the ground, not bothering to check if the thick canopy overhead had kept it relatively dry during yesterday’s flash thunderstorm, and patted the spot beside him.
Josh eased himself down, staring at his bent knees without speaking. They sat that way for a long time before he was ready to tell Tyler what was going on.
“Debby and I are getting divorced,” he said. “We signed the papers yesterday.”
Tyler was stunned. Josh and Debby had barely been married for any time at all, and it was already over?
“But… why? I thought you guys were good?” Josh had never told him of any problems – that was the kind of thing you told your best friend, right?
Picking at the ivy that crisscrossed the fallen tree, Josh said, “Debby said all that time during lockdown made her realize we weren’t really compatible. That it was a good thing, really, before we wasted any more of each other’s time.” He pressed his lips together and tugged a little too hard. Decaying bark rained down on them. He dropped his hand.
Tyler scooted across the moss-covered ground and dropped an arm around Josh’s shoulders. “It’ll be okay, man.”
“I know, it’s just…” Josh sighed heavily and dropped his head onto Tyler’s shoulder. He snuggled into Tyler’s side. “It’s just that I really hoped Debby would be enough. I needed her to be enough.”
Isn’t that supposed to go the other way?
He frowned. What a strange thing to say. Debby had left Josh…
I never liked her anyway.
Tyler scolded himself for thinking such a thing at such a time. He’d done, he thought, a pretty good job of keeping his dislike of Josh’s wife – ex-wife, now – secret. Only Jenna knew how much the other woman’s every little habit grated on him.
Now’s not exactly the time to share that bit of information, is it?
No. But he still didn’t understand.
Then ask.
“What do you mean, man? Enough… what?”
Josh took a deep breath, then sat up to face Tyler. “I have something to tell you, but I need to promise you won’t hate me.”
Tyler laughed. The thought was absurd. Josh could tell him that he kicked puppies for sport, and he still wouldn’t hate him. Oh, he’d march his crazy ass straight to a psychologist’s office, but they’d still be best bros.
“I could never hate you, Jish. Tell me.”
Squaring his shoulders like he was facing a firing squad, Josh said, “Ty, I’m gay.”
Tyler’s brows drew together as he processed that information. “How long have you… Wait. That’s a stupid question. Like, if you’re gay, you’ve always been gay, right? Is it rude to ask how long you’ve known or does that make me sound like an ass?”
God, I’m such an ass.
Josh gave a chuckle but there was no mirth in it. It was all self-loathing and agony. “I kinda always suspected, yeah, but then it felt like the moment to say something came and went…” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I liked Debby enough as a friend that I thought I could make it work. I thought, eventually, I could really love her.”
“That’s really unfair,” Tyler said after a moment.
Deflating, Josh nodded. “I know, it was a dick move. Debby deserved-”
“Naw, man, f-” Ahem. “Forget her. I mean it isn’t fair to you. You should never try to be less than who you are. Haven’t you listened to any of our songs?”
A little bit of energy seemed to flow back into Josh at Tyler’s words. He held himself a little straighter as he leaned back against the fallen tree and watched the leaves dance above their heads. Tyler wondered that his opinion could mean more to Josh than Debby’s, but even though the thought confused him, he also kind of liked it.
He joined Josh, nudging him with his elbow. “So… you’re here, you’re queer… I’m no good with these chants,” he joked. “What’s next? You’re going to have a million fanboys throwing themselves at you. Any of them stand a chance?”
Josh cleared his throat. “Uh, well, not really…”
Tyler turned to stare at his best friend. “You mean you already found a guy?” He gave Josh a sly grin. “Dang, Dun. You move quick.”
That earned a genuine laugh from Josh. “No! I mean… there’s been someone for a while. I mean, I’ve been kind of – God, I can’t believe you’re making me say this,” he buried his face in his hands and mumbled something unintelligible.
Grinning, Tyler leaned close and said, “Sorry? What was that? Flushing? Blushing? Rushing”
“Crushing!” Josh shouted into the quiet forest, startling a family of sparrows and making Tyler laugh. “I’ve been crushing on this guy for a while, okay? And I hate you.”
“No, you don’t,” Tyler said, dropping his arm across Josh’s shoulders again. “Are you gonna tell this guy or what?” Part of Tyler wanted to push Josh, to find out who the guy was, to see if he was worthy of his best friend, but Josh seemed so raw, so vulnerable, that it didn’t seem the right time.
Josh was silent for a long moment. “Maybe. One day.”
Tyler turned to glance at his friend as he leaned back again. “Why wait?”
Shrugging, Josh said, “I don’t think he’s into me.”
“Pshaw,” Tyler ruffled Josh’s curls playfully. “If he’s not crazy in love with you already, he’s stupid.”
Staring into the sky, Tyler was completely oblivious to the sideways look Josh gave him when he said, “Yeah, you’re probably right…”