Chapter Text
They had been sitting there for a while now.
A long while.
One sat on his own bed.
San sat on Yeosang's.
They made a mistake.
It didn't need to be spelt out to be known.
San's knees drawn up in comfort.
Wooyoung's knees crossed, hand fisted to a ball over his mouth in concentration of the floor.
The floor where they stood and kissed.
San felt at fault for leading him on.
Wooyoung felt at fault for giving in.
"Where do we go from here?"
The dejected and sullen tone only added to the tense room.
"I don't know" San really didn't know.
"I'm sorry"
Wooyoung meant it.
"Me too"
San didn't.
He knew it was wrong but he consented.
Consented to be used for fun.
For Wooyoung's fascination.
For Wooyoung.
If that was all he could get.
Then he wanted it all.
"I'm ok with it Woo" Knees relaxed down over the side of the bed.
Wooyoung harshly looked up.
"Ok with what?"
"You...me. That"
Not wanting to say 'I'm ok with your hands and lips on me, even if you don't know what you're doing or what you're doing to me'.
Wooyoung's eyes were not looking at San's face. Just the wall behind him.
San could see the cogs ticking round.
Wooyoung was thinking.
San just kept quiet and let him think.
Let him decide what he wanted from him.
"So what do you want?" Wooyoung now looking at the patient face.
Want? San wondered.
You.
Everything.
Anything.
Not nothing.
Something.
"What do you mean?" It was his turn now to play the town fool. His turn to let Wooyoung scrape for words already known, not sounded.
"Do you want that? Between us?"
"I do. I have always wanted you like that." His cheeks warmed like central heating.
Wooyoung's legs uncrossed, relaxing over the bed side like San's own.
"I...-I'm not sure San" Hands clasped together, frame forward leaning on his knees.
"You were sure when you kissed me" He said the feared words.
"I-just don't know"
"I told you I don't want a boyfriend from you."
"But- you're ok with that? I would be using you San." Wooyoung had a piercing gaze.
He was serious.
"I'm ok with it. It's not really using me- if we both...want it"
He truly was ok with it.
He felt a rushed impatience at his declaration like it would help Wooyoung's decision to be easier.
He just wanted homey lips on his again.
"I'm not gay"
The words were crushing.
But, San hadn't a heart to tell Wooyoung he was wrong in some way. He needed to figure things out for himself.
"I know"
"Only because it's you, then I guess I'm fine with it"
Neither spelling it out.
Friends with benefits.
The new label added to their collection of much lighter ones.
Ones like;
Idiot.
Doofus.
Dumb-dumb.
Fucker.
Stupid.
Friends.
Bestfriend.
Bad Bestfriend.
Crush.
Prince.
Servant.
Now a friend with benefits.
Benefits San wanted to test and tryout.
"So what now?" San verged.
Room still tense.
"Come here" A shake could be heard in the voice.
Wooyoung was testing himself, San thought.
Like a paid woman to a man, San followed the order.
Bed creaking with the loss of weight.
Floor polished with the drag of feet.
Occupied bed sounding a creak as more weight was added to its frame.
A body sitting so far, but so near.
Eyes drifting over familiar eyes.
Benefits to be sought.
"Kiss me"
The demand set San's body alight.
His love asking that of him was like his many dreams he had of the other.
Now all too much a reality.
San thought he should be worried about the implications but was too busy claiming lips.
Plump and chapped and warm and sending him delirious.
He would think this an illusion or mirage, if not for the pressure of a faint kiss back.
San wanted him.
Wanted him so bad the faint pressure was taunting.
He could do more.
He was allowed.
They had benefits now.
San ran a hand through soft hair, holding a head steady.
Steady for what was next.
His other hand guided Wooyoung's urging him to hold him back desperately.
It worked.
Wooyoung's hand found it's way to San's chest with piqued curiosity.
San met blown pupils as he pulled away to gain air.
Wooyoung was going to say something, but San wasn't done.
Leaning in to slot lips together neatly but less delicatly than before.
Greedy, he was so greedy for Wooyoung.
San felt Lucifer win the war within him.
San practically made the deal with the devil himself.
Accepting his fall from grace, San risked a lick between chapped lips.
San guessed Wooyoung was accepting his fall from grace too as he allowed the entry.
A new world felt like it had opened up as San caressed Wooyoung's face, roaming his mouth with his.
Tongues and teeth clashing with want and worry.
Want for the unknown.
Worry for the risk of getting caught.
Want, leading a rising heat in his body.
Worry for Wooyoung catching on.
San felt like he was the one using Wooyoung until the pressure he had been issuing was finally being returned.
San welcomed Wooyoung's hands that were gaining more confidence.
Creeping under his shirt ever so interestedly.
Hands planing over tensed muscle.
San couldn't help it, he had wished for this every birthday and Christmas since meeting the man.
He couldn't fully relax knowing he was getting hard from the feel of massaging palms and ghosted touches across his buds.
Wooyoung clasped a hand on San's hip, skin burning at the touch.
His other hand could be felt from the soft tugs on San's head that had him gasping to a light groan.
Making audible the pleasure.
He was Wooyoung's putty.
He didn't know why he thought otherwise.
All mushy and soppy, to be moulded into whatever Wooyoung wanted of him.
The hand on his head signalled the beginning of the end of their kiss.
San removed his latched hands from the other reluctantly.
Wooyoung did too.
But, kept that one burning hand on San's hip as the exchange was not finished yet.
Wooyoung hadn't collected what was his.
Swollen lips.
Lost breath.
Messy hair.
San moulded by Wooyoung.
"Say it Sannie"
"I love you"
"Good boy"