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There’s no reason to be awake.
Alec knows this, and is fighting the urge to open his eyes in hopes that he’ll once again slip into peaceful unconsciousness and get back to the dream he was having. At least, it might have been a dream. Could also have been a memory that his brain was subconsciously reaching for as he tried to keep himself asleep, supplying him with not-quite in focus moments from the events of yesterday. And last night.
Oh, yeah. Under the covers, he can’t help a tiny smile at that. They really did a pull a number on that Miss Juniper lady, who was really out here trying to take a house out from under a sweet foster mom and her group of kids (and a ton of other people, obviously) by way of some super sketchy legal documents, all so she could build her terribly designed luxury apartment complexes, and she might as well have hung up a sign that said “Gentrification City” on it—
Anyway, they stopped her and sent her packing her stuff for the big house. And took all her money. Which was, to be fair, a lot of money. By the time they got home, Parker had that look about her and Eliot egged her on. Alec, so stupid in love with them both, could only sit and watch until it seemed like whatever game they were playing became less of a game and more something else, and who knows who started what, but his bed is where they all wound up in the end. Who can really blame him if he’d like to hang on to the warmth of that memory for a little while longer, and the warmth of the two people on either side of him?
Except…now that he’s more or less awake, he realizes that his other side isn’t quite as warm as it should be. He feels around in the space beside him, just to confirm that it is, in fact, devoid of a person, and feels where the bed dips a little, giving at the edge under the weight that’s apparently moved for no good reason at some ungodly hour of the morning—
More awake now, he squints his eyes open, blinking blearily as morning light streams in through their window to see Eliot sitting on the edge of the bed. With his back to him, Alec can see some of the scars there, big and little, some faded and others not as much, but he’s not really focused on that. Normally, if Eliot’s getting up, he’s getting up. He’s out of bed and out the door before Alec can even think to say “E, just a couple more minutes”. But there he sits, silent, seemingly staring out the window across the room. He makes to sit up himself, but barely moves an inch before Eliot speaks, voice hushed in the quiet room:
“Go back to sleep, Hardison.”
Eliot’s not the boss of him, so he does just the opposite, careful so as not to disturb Parker beside him, who mumbles in her sleep and rolls over.
“Whatcha doing?” he asks, voice hoarse from disuse as he slides a little closer to him.
“Thinkin’.”
Well, that answers nothing; he’s never not thinking. “About?” he presses as he comes up behind him.
He doesn’t answer immediately, but if he wasn’t going to, then he would have gotten up and left already with a “Dammit, Hardison, I said go back to sleep!” So, Alec waits, and is rewarded after only a few short moments when Eliot does reply.
“‘Bout…the stuff I gotta do.”
Alec grins as he leans forward to hook his chin over Eliot’s shoulder. “Liiiike, making me breakfast?”
That earns him a chuckle that he feels as it shakes his shoulder. “Sure, that too.”
“What else you got planned?”
Again, he doesn’t immediately reply. “We did some good on that job,” he says eventually.
He doesn’t think it’s because he’s not awake enough to connect the dots of this conversation that it doesn’t make any sense, but Eliot continues before he can say anything. “We’ve done a lot of good on a lot of jobs. I’m glad we’re still doin’ it, even though it’s just us, even though it’s a little harder.”
“For sure, man,” he replies.
“It hits close to home sometimes, and we still do it.”
This one definitely did for Alec, but there have been jobs that hit Eliot and Parker, too. Those ones are tough, but it makes the victory even sweeter. “Mhm,” he says simply, not wanting Eliot to feel like he’s rushing him to the point.
“Watchin’ Penny dance around the yard with all her kids, seein’ how happy they were that the only home they had was still theirs to keep…it just kinda got me thinkin’. I’ve never been in this to wash my slate clean. I don’t think it can be. But sometimes I feel like I’m wipin’ a stain or two off it, you know?”
He doesn’t think he could ever fully know, but he gets it about as much as anyone who knows Eliot possibly could. “Yeah,” he says softly, “I know.”
“There’s so many more people we can get to,” he continues. “So many that are hurtin’ and strugglin’ and are bein’ stepped on by the types of people we take down.” He turns his head a little to glance at him. “I still got more to do, Alec. There’s still so much more I can do.”
Alec can only blink at him in silence for a moment, his quiet words hanging in the space between them. They don’t have any bit of selfish drive in them; it’s not for Eliot’s own gain that he wants to keep at the job. No surprise there; he’s never known Eliot to be selfish. In all the years they’ve been a team, he’s only ever seen him act in the interest of others, often at the expense of himself. He’s got scars and bruises to prove his selflessness. In fact, pressed against Alec’s chest as he hangs over his shoulder, fading slowly but surely, is a scar from a gunshot wound he got saving all of DC and who knows how many others. He sits back a little so he can see it, a reminder of just what type of man Eliot’s chosen to be.
He doesn’t flinch when Alec traces a finger up his back, slowly, carefully, until he reaches that spot, rubbing soothingly against it with his thumb. “E,” he says as he does, “you know you’re not doing it alone.”
“I do,” he replies fondly, and he turns so he can see it on his face. “That’s how I know I can do it.”
Oh...
His smile is so beautiful it makes his heart skip a few beats, even as he feels the words tug at his chest. Eliot hasn’t shared each and every one of his past sins, no one has ever asked or needed him to, but he’s made it clear that hell is waiting for him when he fights his last fight. The fact that he would readily accept that and still want to try…
…you’re amazing.
He wants to tell him so, and if he didn’t think it would get him whacked in the head he might. I love you is on the tip of his tongue as well, and that’s also risky in this moment. So, what he says instead is:
“Come back to bed. Just five minutes,” he adds when Eliot gives him a look.
“Thought you wanted breakfast.”
“Breakfast can wait another ten minutes,” he replies, pulling at his arm.
Eliot lets himself be pulled along, a half-smile on his face. “You just said five.”
“Fifteen minutes, tops,” Alec says as he pulls him down with him.
He rolls his eyes, but snuggles a little into his pillow. “I’m countin’.”
“That’s fine,” he replies.
“And stop lookin’ at me like that,” he grumbles.
“Like what?”
“Like you wanna say somethin’ stupid.”
He grins. “What’s stupid about loving you?”
Eliot makes a face. “You’re gettin’ oatmeal for breakfast.”
“Hey,” he pouts.
“So loud,” Parker whines suddenly, back still towards them both. “I’m sleeping.”
“My bad, baby,” Alec whispers, turning to face her.
“Sorry, Park,” Eliot says, voice just as quiet. “It’s his fault.”
“You blaming means you’re talking,” she says disgruntledly. “Shhh!”
No one wants to be around Parker on less sleep than she wants to have gotten, so they both shut up immediately. Eliot’s arm comes around and pulls him a little closer, and Alec feels the same warmth that surrounded him just as before.
He somehow falls back asleep, and Eliot is still there when he wakes up an hour later.