Chapter Text
Derek preferred his books. He’d always preferred his books. He was willing to read almost anything, fantasy fictions, action-adventure, murder mysteries, Derek even had countless shelves of non-fiction. He had a soft spot for historical architecture and had dreams of one day in the future designing buildings himself. There was so much he wanted to draw inspiration from in his designs, but that was just getting ahead of himself. First, he had to do something much harder.
Getting through high school.
“Hey, bookworm, mum is almost ready for dinner, come help me set the table.”
Derek sighed as he heard the banging from the kitchen, fighting not to cringe at the thought of sitting through another dinner his mother prepared. Looking over to the doorway as Laura had swung by calling out to him as she passed. His older sister was a hurricane, he loved her, but she swept by and you know chaos would follow in her wake. You’d think she wasn’t very level headed, but she was, not that anyone would guess it with how she seemed outwardly. It was something that Derek truly loved about his sister though, she didn’t care about how other people saw her, she was completely herself and that was all that mattered. Derek was not nearly as outgoing, preferring to keep to himself wherever he could.
“I’ll be down in a second, just want to finish this paragraph.”
His mother couldn’t cook, she was much more likely to give them food poisoning than to make them an entirely edible meal. They had a kitchen roster when it came to cooking meals in the house, used to be dad took up every second day while Laura, Derek, and their mum traded off turns in between, that was until two years ago when their dad had just picked up and left. Kyle Hale wasn’t a man that anyone in the house wanted to think about, he left, and now had a new family, far away from them. As far as Derek was concerned, they were miles better off without him, save for the nights that it was his mother’s turn to cook. Nowadays, all four of them pitched in with the cooking. Mum and Cora had one day a week each, while Laura and Derek took two each, and Sunday was always takeout. When Laura left, Derek and Cora would both take up an extra day, sure mum had offered instead of Derek, but he’d been quick to say he’d be more than happy to cook. One day a week with potential food poisoning was enough!
Derek finished the chapter, no matter how tempting it was to keep reading, he resisted. It would only be a matter of a time before Laura yelled at the top of her lungs up the staircase to get him to hurry up already. After marking his place, he closed his paperback and set it on his bedside table and climbed up from his bed, slipping on his shoes and heading downstairs. Walking barefoot on a night where his mother cooked was not an option, who knows if they’d have to run for the fire extinguisher or something.
As he made it down to the bottom of the stairs, Laura was letting in Jordan. Jordan Parrish had lived next door to them for as long as he could remember, and Derek smiled as he saw him. Stepping down the last steps as he kissed Laura, his girlfriend, and came over to say hello to Derek with a shoulder nudge,
“How’s your day been D?”
Derek looked to him with a shrug and a smile,
“Same as always.”
“Bookworm! Table!”
Rolling his eyes at Laura’s holla, Jordan laughed at the gesture only to step aside as Derek passed him by so he could do as he was commanded by his darling older sister of an overlord. By the time they were all sitting at the table, looking over to his mother as she had a pot roast in front of her that both looked and smelled, vaguely like a hard lump of charcoal, oh, that was not going to go down well. When she tried to cut it, assuring them that it was just a little burnt on the outside, the knife sounded like it was hitting a rock, oh boy.
“You want me to go make some sandwiches?”
No, it wasn’t the first time they’d had to change tactics and go for an alternative dinner option. Whether sandwiches, emergency microwave meals, or even raiding the take out menu draw, but instead Laura was shaking her head,
“Course not, let me just take it into the kitchen, I’ll cut it up and we’ll be ready to dig in, just a tick.”
Derek would prefer to make the sandwiches, he really would, but he wasn’t going to say it, his mother already looked disappointed enough at how dinner was going. It was Laura’s final night at home before she left for Spain where she was going for college. His sister had always wanted to travel, and of course, Laura didn’t want to put it off for college, so why couldn’t she do both. Going to Spain, and living a whole new life while she went to college. The only problem was how much they were going to miss her, how much Derek was going to miss her.
“Laura, if we starve over Thanksgiving I’m blaming you!”
Derek rolled his eyes again, Cora was so dramatic sometimes,
“We’ll make it to Christmas, just fine sweetheart, besides, all that time will give me more time to practice my cooking.”
Derek looked to his mother sideways at that as the sound of the buzz of the electric knife sawing away at the overcooked pot roast came from the kitchen. He’d offer to cook every single day of the week if it meant his mother never practising her cooking again, but the last time he’d offered that, it hadn’t gone down too well. So, choking down lumps of pot roast disguising itself as coal it was.
Sitting down as Laura came back with the cut pieces of pot roast, Jordan smiled over to Laura as all the meat was dished on on their plates,
“Speaking of you going away babe, I have a surprise for you.”
Pulling a folded up piece of paper from his pocket, he handed it over to Laura with that bright smile he always had. Derek was attempting to cut off the burnt edge of his pot roast, even if it was mostly all burnt edge, and what wasn’t burnt, was dry, he wasn’t going to say that though. Still, he was glancing up as Laura unfolded the paper, and he got a flash of a header at the top, an airline!
“I figured I could visit for Thanksgiving, celebrate together.”
The look on Laura’s face made Derek’s twist into a knot, oh no, this wasn’t good. Rather than react, he shoved one of the pieces of the roast into his mouth, trying not to make a face at the fact it was one of the hard charcoal bits, only for Cora to pipe up,
“Yummm, love it, mum!”
Yep, dinner wasn’t going to be awkward, at all.
~~~~~
Derek felt sick, he hated conflict, it was something that had stuck with him over the years when he would sit in his room, his pillow over his head, trying to pretend like he couldn’t hear his parents arguing in their room. Oh, they never did in front of their kids, and they did their best not to yell when they argued, but there was an undercurrent to their talking that you could just hear, and Derek’s room was always the closest to his parents. Not that he said anything to Laura or Cora, and if they knew, they didn’t say anything either. If he was truthful, he wasn’t as surprised as he could have been when his father chose to leave, file for divorce and never come back.
It hurt that it felt like he didn’t want to have much to do with them though, they saw him, once every few months, just enough to see him, their new stepmom, and their two baby half-siblings. Two years and he already had his new family. Derek didn’t care, if he didn’t want them, he didn’t want him. Wasn’t like the man asked how their lives went outside of those visits as if those days were all he needed in their lives. Like a visitor peeking in and nothing more. No, what mattered to Derek was his mom, his sisters, and his friends, and right now, Laura was outside having another tense conversation with Jordan, only this time, Derek wasn’t close enough to hear the argument.
His sister, arguing with his friend.
Jordan had been one of his friends for as long as he could remember, he’d lived next door forever and Derek felt like he could talk to him about anything. They’d been inseparable for so long, and then a few years ago, Laura had noticed him and everything had changed. It used to be that Derek could talk to him about anything and everything, from realising he was gay, to nerding out about whatever subject he’d buried himself in at the time. He even seemed to enjoy Derek’s habit of weird questions, his favourite being, Would you rather only read one complete book for the rest of your life, or, any book in the world, only the last chapter is always missing? Jordan, had gone for any book in the world, Derek couldn’t help but agree, what was life without variety, he loved books, reading just one even over and over, wouldn’t be good enough. Of course, when he started dating Laura and she’d chosen the one book, because what was the use of a story if you never knew the ending? Jordan had agreed with her then, and Derek had sighed inwardly, that was no fun.
They’d tried to not make things weird, they had.
Including him in so much of what they did, that way he wouldn't feel out of place in his friendship with Jordan, honestly, they even invited him to some of their dates! Nothing felt more awkward than being the third wheel on a date night in a cinema full of couples, some of whom were making out right next to him! At least Jordan and Laura never did that while he was there, he didn't want to be a part of those dates. Nope, no thank you. He might love Laura, but she was his sister, and there was a line.
There was also the fact that Laura dating Jordan, had made him realise he had feelings for the other boy, and, well, he was not the guy that went and tried to steal his sister's boyfriend. He wasn't. No, he was the guy that instead, put his feelings down on paper, so he could lock them away, and hide them from the whole world. Keep them from spilling into reality and stirring up issues that could turn his whole world on its head. This was his way of imagining a world when he'd had the guts to tell Jordan, or any of those boys, how he felt when he had the chance.
Jordan wasn't the only boy he'd written this kind of thing about, he wasn't the only one that had a letter addressed to him. Derek had written five letters to boys that had him feeling so much that he had to get it out of his head, and onto the page. His letters were hidden from everyone, and that was how he liked it. There had been Boyd from camp, Stiles from seventh grade, Scott from homecoming, and Isaac from model UN, and Jordan, the boy next door. All five of those boys had invoked feelings in him that he didn't know what to do with it, but get it out, and lock it away. It was all safer away, less drama.
He kept them in a carved wooden box hidden behind some of his books on his shelves. That box was one of the few memories of him and his dad doing something together that didn't annoy him now, and they kept his biggest secret from the world. Sometimes he'd pull out the box, read his letters, go over the memories, and feelings that had led to him spilling those words onto the page. He might never have acted on the words, but remembering gave him contentment at having felt them.
Hearing the creaky floorboard of the hallway outside of his room, Derek quickly shoved the box of letters closed and back behind the books, straightening them on his shelves just as Laura stepped into his doorway.
"Sorting your library again bookworm?"
Despite the affection in her town, Derek could tell there was a low feeling laced in them and he frowned. As difficult as it was, the tension at dinner, Derek never wanted the upset between Laura and Jordan. They were both important to him, and them being happy was even more important.
"You okay?"
Standing up from kneeling by the low shelf, he had so many shelves of books, you might mistake it for a library as Laura called it. It was his library though, and both his sisters knew how he felt about coming into his room without permission, hence the way she was lingering in the doorway. Nodding to the bed at the look in Laura's eye, only for her to smile sadly and step in, throwing herself onto the bed, grabbing his biggest pillow and hugging it to her chest as he moved to sit beside her.
"I broke up with Jordan."
Frowning,
"Why? You love him!"
It wasn't a question, he knew she did, he saw it in them together, it was a big reason why he had written his feelings in a letter for them never to see the light of day. He didn't want how he felt in those pages, destroying what they had.
Laura looked over to him with that sad smile,
"But that’s why I had to do it. I'm going to be gone, and it’s going to hurt so bad, for both of us. I don't want that hurt to be how we remember our relationship."
Sighing,
"If what we have is meant to be, then it will still be there when we've both finished school. If it isn't, then we've had some wonderful memories, and ruining them by destroying them while we're apart, well, I don't want to do that."
Derek wasn't sure he understood her logic, what if it didn't destroy their feelings, their memories? Couldn't they hold on despite the distance?
He didn't ask that, because if there was one thing he knew about Laura, it was when she made up her mind, that was that.
~~~~~
Sending Laura off at the airport was a teary affair, mostly from mum. Of course, Derek didn't want Laura to go any more than his mum did, but he was able to keep his composure just a tad more while their mother was hugging all three of them as if she'd never see them all together again. He supposed it was her due, her firstborn wasn't just going off to college, but one on the other side of the world no less. Derek could only hope that when he was the one leaving for college in two years, she was a little bit more relaxed about it... but who was he kidding, he was looking into a window of his future as he saw his mother seem to squeeze the life out of Laura while Cora was smiling as if she was on the verge of laughter, and Derek smiled apologetically to his older sister.
As Talia Hale finally let go, Derek was the last one to say goodbye, and despite the teary scene, it didn't stop him from wrapping his arms tightly around his sister with his soft whispered goodbye. While his arms squeezed her a little, he huffed a laugh as she gave back just as good as she got. He'd be worried about bruised ribs if they were any stronger.
"Get your head out of those books D, live a little baby brother."
"I'm your only brother."
Laughing as she let him go, smiling as he stepped back to his mum’s side, wrapping one arm around her as she tucked into his side for comfort as they watched Laura make her way to her departing gate. It was going to be a long few months until she got to come home for Christmas, and while he wished they could zip past in the blink of an eye, Derek knew better.
~~~~~
Getting to school was the same as always, only now, it was Derek driving the Camaro instead of Laura. He wasn't nearly as good at it as Laura was, he hadn't had as much practice as she did, but he'd never had an accident in the car, not one, so Cora coming out this morning with a helmet one was entirely uncalled for if you asked him. The stupid helmet that she'd left in the back seat for when he picked her up after school.
Rolling his eyes, he grabbed his bag, and his jacket from the back seat of his car, and pulled them both on as he stepped out. Locking up his car, he made his way into the school, but before he could even reach the front door, adjusting his jacket, someone was storming past him and their shoulder slamming into his painfully. He didn't even need to look over to see who it was.
"Well if it isn't James Dean, oh wait, if it was I might have seen you there. Instead, you’re just a strange boy in his pathetic jacket."
Malia, his cousin, they had used to get along, and then middle school happened. Instead of being one of the boys, she'd preferred to get the boys attention, and went from being one of the misfits to being popular. Too popular to deal with wanting to have anything to do with Derek, who liked being a misfit thank you very much!
Rolling his eyes with a sigh, her comments were stale at best,
"Come on Malia, get some new material, we both know you're salty because you didn't get it first."
"Hells yea, D looks fantastic, while, you, well, you just look like you're trying too hard to be retro, poor little Malia."
Erica, coming up beside Derek with all her long curly blonde hair, smokey charcoal eyes, and throwing her arm around Derek's shoulders as best she could, he'd grown a bit over the summer, but it wasn't going to stop her. She was his best friend and had been dealing with Malia as long as he had. Sometimes he wondered if she wasn't just as related to Malia as he was, but she wasn't, she was just the kind of friend that was more than happy to have her claws out to defend him so to speak. Not that he needed it, but it was good to have someone on his side.
Malia looked incised right then with the way Erica was eyeing the artfully patched work jeans jacket, that was the style that was going around the popular crowd at the school right now. Not that Derek or Erica cared, neither of them was the type to bend to the will of the in-crowd, they liked being themselves, and if that meant being on the fringes of the school, so be it.
"Screw you, Erica, everyone loves this jacket, you two are the try-hards here, trying to be all-"
Her little rant was cut short by the tall, lean muscular guy coming up behind Malia now, his arms wrapping around her shoulder,
"Hey, Babe,"
Pressing a kiss to her cheek that had her smiling knowing who the boy was without even turning her head to look at him, her hands reached up to settle on the boy’s arms.
Stiles.
Remember Stiles, the second love letter he wrote back in seventh grade, that was this Stiles. Malia's Stiles. After all, how many guys were named Stiles anyway? Sure it was a nickname because his real name was supposed to be impossibly hard to pronounce, but Derek doubted he'd ever meet another guy named Stiles whether nickname or otherwise. Stiles Stilinski.
He wrote the letter to Stiles back in seventh grade after his first real boy/girl party, before he knew he liked boys more than girls, those early letters had been very enlightening when he looked back on them.
They'd been playing spin the bottle, sure it seemed silly, but who didn't right? He'd felt so bad when the bottle had landed on the guy he knew his cousin had a crush on, and the glare she'd aimed at him had been clear, offering to spin the bottle again. Not only was Stiles the guy that Malia liked, but Derek didn't even know if he liked guys, and Derek hadn't even known he liked guys, but instead of taking him up on it, Stiles had just smiled, shrugging his shoulders, and saying that it was no fun cheating the bottle.
When he moved over across the circle on his knees, leaning towards Derek, who had glanced again at Malia before quickly kissing Stiles fast, hoping his cousin wouldn't get mad at him, his stomach had flipped something awful, full of butterflies trying to get out. Didn't help that Malia glared at him all the worse as Stiles just grinned and moved to sit back in his spot. It was safe to say his cousin had been far from impressed that he'd gotten the kiss she wanted that night, livid was a better descriptor.
Now, she was grinning over to Derek,
"I was just complimenting my cousin on his cool mysterious jacket. Come on, let’s go say hi to our friends, not these dorks."
Derek just looked over to Erica who rolled her eyes at Malia's bitchy attitude as she moved away from Stiles down the hall, towards her so-called 'friends'. It was just the popular crowd, trying to be the same as each other to fit in.
"Sorry, she's just jittery being back at school.
As if that gave her any right to be a bitch,
"Oh don't worry Stiles, my cousin is always 'jittery' about something."
Malia and Derek did not get along anymore, and she made sure to dig at Derek every chance she got. Her comments about his jacket today, was just one more thing on a very long list.
~~~~~
Well, lunch was depressing. Laura was no longer at the school with him, Erica was off giving in to her craving for burritos, even when the cafeteria tried to make them, no one would dare touch them, they were even less palatable than the mystery lunch meat. Derek tried the library until he got shushed out from a crunch of his celery stick, great, getting shunned from a place that should be like a second home to him by now, all for the joy of having celery that was nice and crunchy for once. Still, he left the library and was wandering by the table of the courtyard, spying Jordan sitting on one of the lonely benches by the trees.
"Mind if I sit?"
Derek didn't know if Jordan would want him there, they hadn't talked since dinner at his house. He'd glanced over to his house when they were leaving to take Laura to the airport, and he'd looked miserable, like someone had kicked his puppy, so for all he knew, he'd rather not have the reminder his girlfriend had dumped him right there.
"Course not, go ahead."
Jordan smiled at him slightly, and while Derek could tell his heart wasn't really in it, that was Jordan for you, always trying to face life with a smile. Ever the optimist sometimes. As Derek sat down, he set his bag aside and set to fish out his lunch for a second time, a bottle of water, and a Tupperware container of cut-up celery and carrot sticks. It had been a rushed morning, the simpler the better on those mornings.
"Surprised you're not in the library."
Derek's dry chuckle came as he replied,
"I got shushed out, my lunch betrayed me."
At least that drew a bit of a laugh that sounded better than the almost-smile Jordan had given him. Falling quiet as Derek lifted one of the vegetable sticks from his clear container to take a bite.
"D, I gotta ask,"
Looking over to Jordan away from his food now, he sounded so unsure and it wasn't something he was used to with him, not that he could blame him right now.
"I'll understand if you don't want to say, but, did she tell you what she was going to do? I mean, you two are as thick as thieves, talk about everything."
Derek sighing, shaking his head slightly,
"She didn't talk to me about this J, probably because she knew I wouldn't understand."
And he didn't, sure logistically he understood how Laura explained it, but when feelings were involved, logic didn't always win out.
"Well, we're still good right? You and me, hanging out."
Derek smiled more at that,
"Of course, we're all good."
Even if he couldn't magically fix what was upsetting Jordan, he wasn't going to just abandon him. No matter how he felt about the whole thing, how he felt about Jordan, they were friends, and he'd never want to make things weird with them, or worse, betray his sister. So it was fine, they were good.
"Want a veggie?"
Offering over his container, Jordan smiled,
"The betrayers, only fair we betray them right back."
Derek laughing, oh he knew he was a dork to find it funny, but that was just fine by him, wasn't like it mattered to anyone else if they were joking over his celery sticks betraying him in the quiet of the library.
~~~~~
By the end of the day, everything felt pretty normal, sure Laura wasn't there, and he was going to have to drive himself and Cora home, but for the most part, it was good to be getting back to routine. It was just a new routine when he was the one that was relied on, not Laura. Getting in the car now, listening to his younger sister jabber about how cool it was being in middle school now, how popular she was that she had to split her time between her different friend groups, Derek just rolled his eyes. Of course, she was a social butterfly, he loved her, but she could be a pain in the ass sometimes... like right now, with her reaching back and pulling on that damn helmet.
"Really, Cor?"
He wasn't that much of a bad driver! It was just taking some getting used to, it wasn't his fault that Laura never gave him a lot of time to practice in the car before.
Of course, all his arguments were absolutely for nothing when he went to reverse out of the parking space and had to quickly slam his foot on the brake when a yell came coupled with a thud of hands on the back boot of the car. Shit!
Derek couldn't help but groan, hanging his head slightly, so much for his day feeling normal, he was completely humiliated with Cora laughing beside him about how well her helmet was doing. Betrayed by his lunch, and by his sister, just perfect. Hearing the rapt of knuckles at the window of his door, and of course, he wanted to say something, he'd almost run him over, pushing the button so the winder whurred and lowered, Stiles.
"Hey, everything okay Hale?"
Derek nodded slightly, hands tight on the steering wheel trying to avoid looking over to him,
"Oh yea, yea, just ah, getting my bearings."
Yes, that was it,
"Right, right, well, maybe, next time check your mirrors again, you know.. that thing we do, to avoid, you know, running people over."
Shit, shit, shit.
"Yea, of course, just getting used to driving."
He didn't even need to look to Stiles to see the exaggerated way he was nodding his head, he knew it well enough already, at that amused grin that was coming out with his words, his tone,
"No doubt, are you going to be good getting home then?"
Derek just wanted to curl into a little ball, and climb under the seat and never come out until everyone was gone around about now. Maybe the earth would swallow him whole, yes, that would work too.
"Yep, yes, I'll, we'll be fine getting home. All good."
Nodding emphatically himself this time, wanting Stiles to just, go back to his car, and be on his way. Nothing to see here, absolutely nothing to see here.
"Alright then Hale, you,"
Pointing over to Cora,
"are supervising."
Could this be more humiliating? Soon as Stiles was gone, Derek pushed the button and the whirring sound of the window rising again blocked out the outside world and he could pretend, while he was in the car, that none of that happened. Yes, that was what he was going to do.
"Who, was that?"
Laughing, not that Cora was going to let him,
"Stiles, Stiles Stilinski, the sheriff's son."
Oh and,
"Wait, you mean that he’s Malia's boyfriend? Poor guy, he needs better taste in girls."
Derek couldn't help but snicker slightly at his sister’s reaction to who Stiles was, Malia turning against Derek at school had not won her any favours with his sisters that was for sure.
"Yea, yea he does."
~~~~~
That weekend found Derek sitting at the dining room table with Cora, playing Monopoly. Derek was counting Cora's change from the bank when she piped up,
"I miss Laura, this isn't the same without her here."
Handing over the colourful slips of paper that passed as the game money, sighing softly,
"Yea, it's not the same with only two people."
Sure, they could both be doing other things, Derek in his room with one of his books, or Cora off doing whatever that mischievous little mind of hers thought up. Still, with Laura gone, Derek felt like making time for his younger sister was more important than ever. Just because she wasn't here to wrangle them into spending time together, just the three of them didn't mean that it should just stop.
"And Jordan. He was so much better at being the bank than you."
"Hey!"
Despite the jibe, Derek had to laugh slightly at the face that Cora made at him when he threw a piece of their popcorn snacks at her,
"You take forever! Always straightening out the bills, Mr Perfectionist."
Derek of course rolled his eyes at that, shaking his head slightly as he just had to defend his banking skills thank you very much,
"Makes it easier to pack away, sue me... at least I'm a better banker than Laura."
At that Cora burst out a loud laugh,
"Everyone is a better banker than Laura! She always ends up with just a pile of money all squished together."
Organized, their older sister was not, but they loved her all the same.
Rolling the dice now that it was his go, reaching for his token and moving the little metal car, Cora's idea of a joke considering his driving, along the line of spaces on the board until he landed on the railway station that he already owned, that was just fine by him.
"You know, if you had a boyfriend, you could get him to drive us to school, and I won't even tell him it's just ‘cause you're horrible."
Looking up from the token to his sister who had one of those ‘I think I look like an angel, but I am actually a little devil’ grins on her face.
"If that's what it takes to get you to shut up about it, I guess I'm out of luck."
Getting a boyfriend wasn't that easy, and he was just fine without that kind of drama in his life. Cora's smile fell, and she got that pensive look that made her look just like their mum, and Laura, damn he hated that look. It was the look that said, Derek, I'm only saying what I'm about to say to be supportive, don't get upset, and sure enough,
"Don't take this the wrong way Der, but it’s Saturday night, and you're here, spending time with your little sister, playing Monopoly."
Sighing,
"I like hanging out with you Cor, and I like Monopoly. What’s wrong with that?"
"Nothing! Nothing, it's just, well, Derek... I'm eleven, and I turned down plans to stay-in with you tonight."
Looking at her deadpan, of course, she had to turn down plans, she was a little social butterfly, with her cafeteria roster detailing who going to eat lunch with each day.
"Whatever Cora, let's just finish this game, and next weekend, you can make all the plans you want. Your turn to roll the dice."
Pushing them over to her, he didn't want to talk about his lack of social life, he was just fine with the way everything was going, thank you very much.
~~~~~
Midweek and Derek was happily settling back into school, no more run-ins with Malia, or almost hitting boys with his car. Cora wasn’t even trying to convince him that he should be out there, flirting with boys and trying to bag himself a boyfriend with a car. Nope, everything had settled and he was just perfect staying just like this.
It wasn't going to stay just like this.
He was running around the track field, he wasn't the worst runner in his gym class, he just hated doing it. What was the point of running unless someone was chasing you? Even playing sports on a field was better than running in a large circle for absolutely no purpose other than, well, no purpose. It was mind-numbing. At least Erica was running beside him, neither of them bothering to go any faster than a jog, after all, what was the point?
"Hey, Hale!"
And now there was someone else jogging after them, well, not really jogging, and he wasn't in their class, what was Stiles doing here?
"Hey, can I talk to you?"
"Me?"
Derek looked at him surprised, why would he want to talk to him? It wasn't like they'd said a word to each other since the run-in in the parking lot last week.
"Hey Stiles, heard Der's cousin dumped you for some guy in a band?"
Erica smirked at the boy with a grin, Stiles just rolled his eyes as Derek tried not to laugh, Cora had not been wrong, Stiles could really do with someone better anyway.
"I heard you got an extra toe, that right, Erica?"
"Ohhh yea, super cute, wanna see?"
Smirking, she did not have an extra toe, but where was the fun in saying that, Stiles just laughed though,
"I need to talk to Derek, alone."
Derek raised an eyebrow at that, wondering what the hell was going on here, at least they'd stopped jogging, he was more than good with that now. Hands settled on his hips as he looked between Stiles and Erica,
"Yea, whatever, I'm out. If you need me, I'll be in the nurse’s office, with a migraine, googling Sinqua Walls, shirtless."
That girl had no shame, Derek shook his head as she jogged off now and he was looking at Stiles.
"What’s going on?"
Stiles turned back to Derek after he watched Erica go off, waiting until she was far enough that she wouldn't likely overhear them.
"I just wanted to say, um, thanks but ah, it's um, not going to happen.
Well, colour Derek confused with that, what wasn't going to happen? What did he have to thank him for?
"Umm,"
Chuckling low,
"I'm sorry Stiles, but I have no idea what you're talking about."
Stiles just gave him a half-smile,
"It's just, what I remember of that kiss, it was, well great, but it was in seventh grade. As much as I'm honestly flattered that you couldn't get my warm amber eyes out of your mind, well, it’s just that-"
Derek wasn't paying attention to what the other boy was saying anymore when he realised the words were sounding a bit too familiar, and fatefully glancing around, and down to Stiles’ hands and finding in one of them, a VERY familiar envelope. An envelope with handwriting he'd never forget because it was his own.
Oh Shit.
That was when everything went black.
Of course, when life seemed to be going so well everything had to go so massively wrong, how the HELL had Stiles gotten his letter?! Oh god, this was even more humiliating than almost hitting him with his car!
Coming to, Stiles was kneeling by his side, blinking slowly as he looked up to the other boy who was frowning in concern,
"Derek? Der? You okay?"
"Mmm yeah, yea I'm okay."
Aside from this being utterly mortifying, and his head hurting like hell from falling to the ground, yea, he was just peachy.
"Here let me help you."
Stiles reached for his hands and helped to pull Derek to sit up, his head spinning a little from the fall, his hand coming up to the back of his neck and head with a tiny groan,
"You sure you're okay?"
"Yea, yea, I'm-"
Oh god. No. No no no...
Jordan was walking towards the track. Jordan, who was holding another envelope. Sure he couldn't see from this far away, but Derek had the worst feeling in his gut that he knew exactly whose handwriting was on that envelope. It was his.
Shit, shit, shit! What was he going to do?
With no clue, he acted completely without think, and the next thing he knew, he'd pulled Stiles to him and this time it was Stiles who was on the ground and Derek who was kneeling over him, lips planted right on the other boys in a kiss until he heard the gym teacher yelling at them to stop. Right, stop.
Looking up over to where Jordan had been, right, he'd stop, good, yea...
"Um, yeah, bye!"
He had to get out of there, as fast as possible, thankfully he already had running shoes on, because this time, he DID have a reason to run, and run he did. Ran right off the track and back into the school, all the way to the male bathrooms. Sure, it wasn't really the best place to hide from two other boys, but at least he could lock himself in a cubicle and hope they wouldn't follow. Worst come to worse, he'd stay in here until it was time to go home, who cared about the rest of his classes?
"Derek? Are you here?"
Fuck, no, no not now.
"No."
Please, please, go away... Mentally he begged the universe to cut him a break, he really didn't have the strength to deal with another person today, and he knew that voice, it was Scott, another of his letter recipients. Scott was like a big puppy dog, he didn't want to have to deal with this, at all. Sighing, he didn't leave though, instead, he slid the envelope with his name, and address, sure enough in Derek's handwriting, with stamps he had NOT put on it, under the stall door.
"I thought you might want this back, it seemed, well, pretty private."
Well yea, that was one way to put it! So private he never wanted anyone else to ever read it, not even the boys he'd been writing about.
"Scott, I'm going, to be honest, I wrote that letter years ago, no one was ever supposed to read it."
Begging him to understand and not make a thing about it as Stiles had, or, Jordan seemed to have been preparing to go outside. Hearing the other boys soft laugh,
"Freshman homecoming right?"
Yep, that had been the instigator of the crush that led to the letter. It had been an amazing night and Derek had had so much fun. Realising he liked boys by this point, he mustered up the courage to go over to Scott and start to talk to him, complimenting him on his vest, while he'd complimented Derek's tie that Laura had helped him with, a real one, not clip on. He even managed to ask him to dance, and being the nicest guy in the world, Scott had agreed, and they danced the night away. It had been amazing, and so much fun that Derek of course had written him the letter.
Coming out of the cubicle now with a sigh,
"Yea."
Looking at Scott, envelope in hand having picked it up, no way was he just going to leave it there where anyone could come in and find it!
"I had a great night too, but you know I'm straight, right?"
Derek nodded quickly,
"Oh yea, I mean, I do now, I didn't then. Dating Allison right?"
Allison Argent, as much as Scott was like a big happy puppy, Allison was like some Disney Princess with her dimpled smile and musical laugh, those two were pretty much made for each other. It was embarrassing as hell that he'd gotten Derek's letter, but him, not thinking of him as a freak, well, best case scenario.
"Thanks for this, I mean, understanding. I really didn't mean for you to get it."
Seeing the other boy nod slightly with a smile,
"Kind of figured that out. Are you okay?"
Derek sighed,
"Well, when I figure out how this happened, hopefully, but thanks, for giving it back."
~~~~~
Oh hell, Derek's world had imploded, that's what had happened. He'd come home, raced right up to his room, and practically tore the entire room apart looking for his box of letters. His usually pristine bedroom that could pass for a small library, looked like a complete tornado hit it by the time he was done.
His box was nowhere to be found.
Shit.
It was gone, and mum had mentioned the goodwill boxes from the cleanout when Laura left...
He was doomed. Well, at least he didn't have to worry about Scott or Boyd, his letter had come back in the mail today. It had been addressed to the camp bunkhouse, so he'd never known about the crush Derek had gotten after that game of tag in the dark.
"Oh, my god, what did you do to your room?"
Looking over to the doorway as he was pulled from trying to think about what he was going to do, how any of this could have possibly happened, there was Cora at his door looking around his room. Yep, he was standing in the middle of the chaos that was once known as Derek's bedroom.
Before he had to formulate his answer though, he could hear the door downstairs, and his mum's voice calling up the staircase,
"Derek, Jordan's here for you!"
No, please not now.
"You didn't see me!"
And if he climbed out of his window, so he could tumble down from the awning that reached out from the side of the house to get out of going down and talking to Jordan, then... so be it. How much worse could it get, after all, his letters had gotten out, what dignity did he have left? Absolutely none.
Grabbing Cora's bike to the side of their house, she'd have to forgive him later, he'd do all her chores for a week if he had to, he got the hell out of dodge, anywhere but the house right now. He found himself at the diner that he always went to with Laura when one of them had a bad day, but of course, instead of their table, he sat down at the bar and ordered himself a cola. Anything to not think about what was going on.
"Heya's Hale, fancy seeing you here."
Derek's shoulders tensed at the sound of the voice moving to a set just down from him at the counter. Of all the people that came in here, wait, looking over to Stiles, he'd never seen him about here before, and Derek came by here plenty.
The waitress smiled at Stiles from behind the counter as Derek himself was wary,
"What can I get ya hon?"
"I'll have a serving of curly fries please."
Smiling to her wide and all charming with his stupid face right then as she wrote down his order to go fill it. Derek didn't even bother with a greeting,
"Are you following me?"
Stiles just laughed as he held his hands up,
"Whoa, can't a guy come in to get some delicious curly greasy goodness? Talk about unjust?"
Derek pulled the straw of his cola into his mouth to take a sip, letting the ice-cold liquid distract him,
"Look, about earlier today, I just, I want to say I am really flattered, but, Malia and I, it’s just really we-"
"Are you really trying to reject me twice in one day?"
Raising an eyebrow as he looked over to Stiles, the other boy jerking at the look,
"Dude, your eyebrow game is on point, so judgy, and well, it didn't seem to get through the first time, so, yea."
Fighting not to roll his eyes at the eyebrow comment, but then as he rambled on, what,
"Stiles, geez, I don't want to date you, you're good."
He could continue to try and get Malia back all he wanted, Derek didn't care.
"It's just, you said one thing, and then your mouth did something else entirely."
His smirk made Derek frown, but before he could say anything as to explain what the hell had happened earlier, the waitress was right there again and setting Stiles' fries in front of him with a smile,
"Thank you, Jennifer."
Right. Once she was off tending to another customer, and Derek looked over to Stiles,
"Look, I'm sorry about the kiss, I just had to make it look as if I liked you, so someone else didn't think I was interested in them."
Simple. It would be really nice if Stiles just let it go, but then again, life wasn't going Derek's way right now, so of course, he didn't.
"Okay, who?"
And he said Derek had judgy eyebrows, Stiles' whole FACE was judgy right now as if he thought Derek was just making something up to avoid dealing with the fact that he'd randomly kissed him in the middle of the track!
"What, no."
He wasn't telling him that!
"Oh come on, if you don't tell me who this Romeo is, I'm just going to assume that you’re making it up, and you have some secret tattoo of my face somewhere, oh is it on your ass? It is, isn't it?"
Laughing,
"No!"
Shaking his head and trying to go back to his drink, for someone who had supposedly come in here for the curly fries, Stiles hadn't even touched the ones in front of him.
"Oh, so should I just tell the whole school that you wrote me a steamy love letter? Comparing my eyes to -"
"Okay, okay! Stop,"
Sighing,
"Jordan Parrish."
Shaking his head, frustrated and panicked that Stiles wasn't letting up. What was his deal, couldn't he just go back to focusing on Malia already!
"Wait wait wait, hold up, Parrish? Isn't that the guy dating your sister? Laura, right?"
"Yea, well, no, they were dating, not anymore, and, well, he also got a letter. So you can imagine how infinitely awkward that is going to be, hence, the kiss."
Getting Jordan to back off, at least until he had time to figure out what to do. Not that it had lasted long considering he'd come over to the house that afternoon, forcing Derek to climb out of his window to avoid him, bringing him here, talking to Stiles, when he really didn't want to deal with this.
"Oh, my, god! I'm not the only one that got a letter?"
Derek swallowed heavily, shit,
"Wow, just wow, man, you think you're special and then you find out he wrote love letters to two guys."
Rolling his eyes,
"Five, I wrote five letters so don't go thinking you're special Stilinski, you're not."
"FIVE? Dude! You are a playah alright!"
Growling under his breath as he glared at Stiles, that wasn't fair,
"Don't call me dude."
Snapping at him, it wasn't like he wanted anyone to read the letters, he didn't want anyone to know about his crushes, he just wanted to be left alone. What was so wrong with that?
"Now I have to know who the other guys you wrote letters to!"
Oh god, why wouldn't he stop,
"If I tell you, will you drop it and leave me alone?"
That grin on Stiles' face was not promising as he sat up straight,
"Absolutely, scouts honour!"
There went Derek's eyebrows again as he looked to Stiles unimpressed,
"You were kicked out of the scouts."
Everyone knew that, everyone. Stiles just rolled his eyes with a groan,
"Come on, what’s the alternative, you don't tell me and it’s guaranteed I won't let you alone about it?"
If anyone could bug another person into insanity, it would be Stiles, he was tenacious like that. The fact he was so determined was something Derek liked about him, just when it wasn't pointed in the direction of annoying him.
"Fine, Scott McCall."
"Um, he's straight."
"Well, I didn't know that at the time! It was years ago."
"Who else?"
Not leaving this alone was he, at all,
"This kid I went to summer camp with, and another from model UN in the fifth grade."
There,
"Now you know, and I'm done here."
Standing up from his stool, he needed to get out of there before Stiles started quizzing him on these other guys, cause honestly, he wouldn't put it past him. Stiles was notorious for wanting to know, and honestly, Derek shouldn't be so surprised he'd grasped onto this as he had, but he really wished that he hadn't. Pulling out his wallet, he tossed the money for his drink with a tip on the counter so he could go. He just wanted to run,
"Wait up, that ah, bike outside, the purple one with the sparkly tassels? That's your ride home?"
Derek sighed, how much worse could this get, not that he cared about the sparkly tassels, more about the fact he hadn't even taken the car to run off,
"Yea, what about it?"
~~~~~
Okay, so, Stiles offering to drive him home wasn't the worst way running into him could have ended. At least he seemed to be keeping his word and not bugging him about the letters still, just helping him get his bike on the back of his jeep and driving him home, music from the radio. He didn't even have a bad taste either.
As they pulled up, Derek looked over to his house, at least all seemed quiet, seemed, being the appropriate word, you could never be certain in his house, but more so without Laura about. He did miss her, she might be chaotic, but she sure made life interesting in a way that wasn't his life imploding.
"Thanks for driving me."
Taking in a breath as he glanced back to Stiles,
"And, sorry for the whole, drive-by kiss thing."
The other boy just smirked at that,
"All good. Could've been worse, right?"
At least they had gotten it straight now, neither of them was interested, and it was all done and done, no more confusion. One more letter issue he didn't have to worry about, now he just had to figure out how to deal with Jordan.
"So what are you going to do about Parrish?"
Damn it, what the hell was he, a mind reader?
"I.. don't know, tell him the truth I guess?"
Probably the best plan there. Reaching to undo his belt, he had to get Cora's bike off the back of the jeep anyway.
"What is the truth, you like him, you don't like him?"
Derek sighed, it really didn't matter what the truth was in the long run, nothing was going to happen with Jordan, and he just needed to forget about the letter. The moment he'd started dating Laura, nothing Derek may or may not feel anymore was irrelevant, that was what he came to.
"Doesn't matter Stiles, don't worry about it."
Letting himself out of the car, he had to get Cora's bike. Once he had, he was steering it back towards the house when Stiles was jogging up behind him.
"You know, you could not tell him the truth, tell him.. we're dating."
Derek looked over to him incredulously,
"What?"
"That was what you were doing earlier, trying to make him think we were a thing, well, what if we just let him continue thinking that? What if we let everyone think that?"
The almost manic grin on Stiles face made Derek wary, until,
"Is this a joke, are you getting paid for this?"
Was that why he'd just suddenly turned up in the diner? Insisted on knowing what was going on so he could use the issue to his advantage, what?
"Who the hell would want to get paid to lie about dating? Geeze, I'm not an asshole! No, I mean, when Malia found out you kissed me, she went completely mental, and if we were dating, well, it would drive her nuts."
And he could get her back, right, of course. Stiles could get Malia back, and Derek could ward off Jordan, and while it sounded alright like that, he just...
"I don't know how I feel about manipulating people like that."
"Well, you sorta already did, when you kissed me earlier, so..."
Derek's eyebrows furrowed then as he scowled, and he said he wasn't an asshole. He'd told him, he'd panicked, and already apologized, let it go! Turning back towards the house as he continued to steer Cora's bike,
"Alright, you don't have to answer now, just, think about it kay Derek?"
Shaking his head,
"Not likely."
He didn't like this, it sounded devious and underhanded, and lying to everyone just... argh. Setting Cora's bike against the steps up to the veranda, he climbed them to head inside. Derek really just wanted to forget everything about this doomed day, the letters, the kiss, the confessions, and especially that offer. It was weird.
Derek was sitting in his room contemplating what he was going to do about Jordan. Feeling his phone vibrating again, looking down to the screen, sure enough, Jordan was trying to ring him, again. He needed to talk to him at some point, but he didn't know what he was going to do. He couldn't tell him he had feelings for him, not without betraying Laura, and he couldn't say he didn't have feelings for him because, because, dammit.
His mind came right back to one thing, Stiles' stupid suggestion. Could he do it? It had to be easier than trying to lie about his feelings, it was just acting, right? Acting?
His voice in his head was like the little devil on his shoulder distracting him from Jordan.
Just acting.
Right.
~~~~~
The next day, he knew when lacrosse practice happened, of course, he did, and he was marching out to the field. It was now or never Hale, you could do this. Do it before you second guess yourself, and he knew he would. He'd turn right around and go back into the school never to mention it again. Might as well walk right up to Jordan and try to lie to his face, and he couldn't do that, acting, lying-by-omission of sorts, it was.
"Hey, Stilinski!"
Calling out towards the field, adjusting his bag over his shoulder, he hadn't worn his jacket today, it was too warm out, so it was just jeans and a shirt, nothing special as he marched out towards the field. Seeing Stiles lift up his lacrosse helmet, the grid shield no longer obscuring his face as he approached,
"Alright, let’s do this."
Derek could tell when it dawned on Stiles as to the fact he was agreeing to the idea of this fake dating thing. Instead of saying anything back, the other boy reacted without words instead, his hands occupied with his lacrosse gear, he leaned forwards and his lips captured Derek's in a kiss that sent a tingle through his skin in the way the last one hadn’t. He’d been distracted last time, and it had felt more like shock and insanity than a real kiss, this felt like a real kiss and the warmth that flushed through him felt, felt… horrible.
It wasn’t horrible, at all, it left Derek speechless for a moment as he looked to Stiles as the kiss parted, the other boy smiling slowly as Derek blinked. Right,
“I’m just going to, go, to calc.”
Yea, he had a class to be going to. Stiles’ smile just seemed to go, as if he somehow knew just how Derek had been affected by that kiss.
It was a horrible kiss, absolutely horrible because it wasn’t.
~~~~~
Derek was sitting in one of the more secluded tables to the side of the courtyard, between the school and the sports field.
“Alright, doing this, we need to have a written agreement as to how this is going to work, so we are on the same page with everything. What is okay, what isn’t, rules.”
Pulling out his notebook, he’d write it all down so that there would be no claims that something was forgotten, and nothing extra added without both of them agreeing to amend this arrangement, once it was complete anyway.
"Rules? Oh Der, you really know how to light my fire baby!"
Smirking to him with a ridiculous wiggle of his eyebrows,
"First, I don't want you to kiss me anymore."
No, it had been horrible, and he didn't want to deal with that feeling, he didn't want to have felt anything like that, not with this... not like this.
"Oh come on, who is going to believe we're dating if I can't even kiss you, dude?"
Derek tensed, his jaw working slightly before he spoke,
"Don't, call me dude."
The way Stiles chuckled then made him wonder if he was doing that on purpose.
"I've never had a boyfriend before, and I don't want all my firsts to be fake okay. One kiss, that’s it. When I make out with my boyfriend for the first time, it'll be my REAL boyfriend."
Oh, he didn't look over to Stiles when he admitted to never having a boyfriend, so many of the other kids were all about dating, and getting all sexed up, and Derek, well, he wanted REAL, was that so hard to ask?
"Yea, but you kissed me first?"
Derek did look at him then, a frown on his face,
"I don't care, no more. It's a deal-breaker."
If he didn't agree to this, Derek was done. End of story. Watching as Stiles groaned, rolling his eyes and all but flopped back against the bench seat on the other side of the table for a long moment. It was with a stupidly dramatic sigh that Derek watched as Stiles pulled himself back up,
"Fine, but we'll have to think of something, people are going to be all suss if we aren’t even touching, I'm not exactly shy on PDA."
Oh, didn't Derek know it, Stiles and Malia had never really shied away from being all coupley in public, Erica many a time commented on how nauseating it could be watching them suck face on the bleachers. Derek was more private though, and the thought of doing that just for the sake of people thinking that their relationship wasn't fake, felt all kinds of wrong.
"I never said you couldn't touch, you could like, hold my hand, arm around my shoulders, simple stuff, just... nothing more."
Stiles was just looking at him for a long moment,
"What are you, my grandmother, should we have a chaperone to be alone next?"
Derek just looks at him with a raised eyebrow, almost enjoying the smirk Stiles got at the expression, just knowing he wanted to say something about the judgement of his brows again, but seemingly resisted.
"Well, you come up with something then, just no kissing."
Waiting, waiting,
"Oh! I could write you notes, like, little notes, every day."
"Really, you wanna do that?"
Derek's voice was soft, careful, not sure where Stiles was going with this, he sounded almost sincere which was weird, like that kiss.
"Oh yea, Malia was always trying to get me to do it, and it would drive her crazy if I did it with you when I never did with her."
For a second there, Derek felt... nothing, he felt nothing.
"Right, alright Romeo, written notes it is."
"Also, you have to come to lacrosse games, girlfriends show support, oh and parties. Have to at least make an appearance at those."
Derek made a face,
"Nothing like Bogie Lowenstein's right?"
He hadn't been to any of the high school parties here and so he didn't know how wild they got, just, stuff from movies, and the way that Stiles looked at him,
"Whose Body? Is he like, on the football team or something?"
"That’s it, another rule, you're watching Ten Things I Hate About You with me, and you’re not getting out of it."
Not getting the paid fake dating, or the Bogie reference, no, just no,
"A chick flick, really? Okay, okay, then you have to watch Star Wars with me!"
"Why?"
Stiles whole body jerked as if he'd been shocked for a second,
"Because it’s awesome! Original trilogy at least!"
Derek rolled his eyes, right, of course,
"Okay, movie marathon, lacrosse, parties, and not telling anyone this is fake, it'll just be way too humiliating."
Derek was writing down the list, but even without looking up he could imagine Stiles nodding his head as he grinned that was getting his way on the movies,
"Of course."
"You have to pick up Cora and me, and drive us to school every day."
Did Stiles really need a reminder that Derek was not the best driver, the only time he got to practice was with Cora and she made him embarrassed as hell wearing that damn helmet!
"Can I drive the Camaro?"
Looking up to Stiles as he said that, it showed Stiles’ commitment to his question that he wasn’t remarking on the judgement brows again.
"Plleeaassee? I'll even take you driving on weekends so you can get the practice in!"
Derek paused, it would be better than that death trap of a jeep, he knew Stiles loved his jeep, but it was all over the place.
"Sure. You can switch cars at my place when you pick us up."
It would probably also keep Jordan at bay seeing Stiles' jeep there regularly.
"One last thing, the ski trip, you're coming with me."
"Aahhh no way."
Everyone knew about that ski trip, it happened every year, and there were so many stories about how many students got up to no good while away. Hooking up, getting shit faced, you name it, they did it, and Derek was not going to be one of those that went and did something stupid, like have sex for the first time. Nope, not happening. If you believed the stories, more people had lost their virginity on that trip than prom and senior week combined!
"Besides that’s months away, we won't be still 'fake dating' by then."
Surely it wouldn't go that long. Stiles just levelled him with a look as he stole the notebook from Derek and was scrawling in big letters at the bottom messily, SKI TRIP.
"Look, no one in their right mind would let their boyfriend go on that trip without them, so, if we are still doing this, you have to come with me."
Derek just sat there for a long moment, studying Stiles and how insistent he was on that. It was practically three months ago, and there was no way they were going to be doing this for three months! That in itself was the only reason Derek was even considering this to the point that he said,
"Sure, okay."
Pulling the notebook back from Stiles, he drew lines down the bottom like a real contract so they could both sign their names to the agreement there. After they'd both sighed, Derek offered his hand to Stiles over the table, and the other boy just laughed at that strange manic sound that told him he thought Derek was ridiculous, but he shook his hand anyway. They were doing this.
~~~~~