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Aether was awake. Again.
The icy tendrils of a nightmare still teased the ends of his unbraided hair and the tips of his fingers. He closed his eyes and shook his head, propping his arms up on the counter top in front of him. Anything to ground himself.
I’m not in that studio. I’m not. He tried repeating. I’m in a hotel. A fancy hotel. I’m in a hotel and Venti and Kazuha and Xiao are in the room next door. And I should go back to bed because we have rehearsals tomorrow.
He stood straight up, shaking his head. No, he didn’t think he could go back to bed. Not yet. Instead, he walked over to the fridge across from the counter top and hesitantly placed his hand on the handle.
Aether stared at the reflective metal. Long enough for his blurry image to warp his mind and take his wrists and-
He let go of the refrigerator, trying not to groan in frustration. He didn’t want to wake anyone else in the hotel room up.
His phone weighed heavy in his pocket, reminding him of his weight tracking app. How it described him as underweight still, even though he wasn’t subject to a plethora of diets or work outs anymore. It held text messages between him and their manager, Jean, voicing her concerns about how he always left rehearsals light headed and blurry-eyed. She talked with him, helped him, gave him a new diet to gain some back, set calorie intakes for him to aim for.
It held messages from Lumine. Of her texting him in a panic as she was still waking up from the same nightmare he had…
Dancing and singing around an empty stage…someone in the wings telling them to dance harder or sing louder…the aftermath of the show if they didn’t perform well enough…the backup dancers going to help Lumine off the stage, when it was Aether’s legs buckling and Aether’s eyes going dark and Aether’s head hitting the floor-
“Aether?”
Aether jumped, clutching his phone to his chest. He whipped around to see Xiao, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
Aether could have cried with relief.
How would he have explained himself to Kazuha or Venti? Neither of them could even imagine what kind of torture he and Lumine had enduring working under their old company. But Xiao…
Xiao knew it all too well.
“Oh. Uh, hey.” Aether waved a little, offering a tight smile.
Xiao looked around the scene before responding to the blond.
“…hey.” A man of few words; that was Xiao for you.
Xiao stared at him for a moment before maneuvering around the counter top, Aether moving out of his way. Xiao was focused. He didn’t let refrigerator reflections startle him. He opened fridge doors with ease and grabbed a bag of fresh cherries with little hesitance.
Aether felt out of place. He shuffled back a bit, set on going back to his bed when a cold, slender hand grabbed his wrist.
This hand…it was nothing like the ones of his nightmares. Xiao’s hand, while still cold, was soft. His palms were calloused just slightly, and the edges of his nails were rough from being chewed and picked at.
“…stay a bit, won’t you?” Xiao asked. He counted out five cherries for each of them, with almost too much precision. “The sun is coming up soon.”
“We have rehearsals tomorrow.” Aether tried to argue, not yet looking back at the other.
“They don’t start until ten.” Xiao countered. “It sounds like you don’t want to be around me.”
“No! No, that’s not the case but-“ Aether turned around. He should have looked at Xiao first. Xiao and his picture perfect face; Xiao and his yellow eyes that reminded Aether of the sunrises he and Lumine used to watch before everything went to shit; Xiao and his messy bed head that still looked like it was styled to suit him perfectly.
But…
Xiao’s eyes followed his gaze to the bowls of cherries on the white counter top. Aether looked away, up at the huge glass windowed wall on the other side of the room, with a door to a balcony that stood in the middle. His face burned with shame.
Xiao let go of his wrist and took the small bowls. He pushed one into Aether’s hands.
“Let’s sit there.” He said, his voice rough with sleep. “Keep your eyes ahead of you.”
Aether nodded. Xiao’s hand grabbed his again, the one that wasn’t holding his bowl, and unlocked the door, leading him onto the balcony.
It was true. Slivers of the sun had began to peek over the horizon of Mondstat city. Cars were already zooming back and forth between the streets, and most buildings already had their lights on. The early morning breeze tangled Aether’s hair, and he let a small smile slip onto his face. Venti would love this.
“…are you ready?” Aether looked back over at Xiao. He was holding a cherry from the stem, as if it were some kind of glass to be toasted.
Aether looked back down at his own bowl. After a bit of waiting, a little nudge from Xiao, he picked up a cherry and held it up. Xiao nodded.
“On three, okay?”
“On three we…” Aether looked between the cherry and Xiao, still unsure. He could probably do this. It was just five cherries. He didn’t have any strict diets to be on. There was no choreographer who was going to critically examine his body every day of the week before practice. He was fine. He was fine!
So why was he hesitating…?
“Yes.” Xiao’s voice broke his thoughts. “On three. Ready?”
Aether nodded.
“One…”
This shouldn’t be difficult.
“Two…”
Piece of cake. Eugh…cake…
“Three.”
His mouth closed around the cherry, and he pulled the stem from the fruit. He rolled it around in his mouth a bit, separating the pit and the juicy parts. With concentration, and a whole lot of ignoring his mind, he swallowed.
A feeling of success and relief spread through him. I did it! It’s…a minor thing, but I did it!!
He looked over at Xiao. The other boy was frozen. His fingers clenched the stem of the cherry tightly, and he seemed unwilling to let go despite the fruit already being in his mouth. His eyes were staring into the rising sun. Realization dawned in Aether as he realized what Xiao was trying to do.
Food, like any other fear, is something to be conquered. He had heard Xiao say to Venti one day. I will learn to get over it with time.
Aether raised a gentle hand up and carefully moved Xiao’s hand away, the cherry stem still in his iron grip. He held the boy’s hand as he chewed and swallowed and-
“Wh- what are you doing?!” Xiao spit the pit over the balcony, a small smirk forming on his face at Aether’s reaction.
“Throwing away the seed.” He said, monotone.
“But should you…do that in a trash can..?”
“It’s more fun if you spit it out into the public.” Xiao shook his head. “You try.”
Aether looked over the balcony, still unsure, before spitting out the pit. Xiao scoffed a laugh at Aether’s face.
“Alright. Ready?” Xiao held up another cherry, this time with more ease. Aether tried to mirror him, but his hand never seemed to stop shaking.
“Yeah.”
“Together, on three.” Xiao nodded.
“One…”
“Two…”
“Three.”
Their routine repeated. Once more, then twice, then until their bowls were empty and the stems were all that remained. The sun was rising well at this point, and Aether couldn’t help but stop to gaze at the wonderful light. He felt hands through his hair and looked back to see Xiao combing it with his fingers, weaving the strands into a pattern unfamiliar to him.
He set his bowl down on a small table off to the side, propping his chin up on his palms. He closed his eyes, forgetting all about his nightmare, his old company, that show that ended in ruin, and focused on Xiao’s fingers running through his hair, and the warm sun on his face, and a sense of achievement. He let out a sigh, a little smile spreading across his face.
It would be harder in the future, there’s no doubt about it. But for now, he doesn’t have to worry about that.