Chapter Text
Sunday, 23rd of December, 2018:
Sheldon Cooper woke up with a start.
"Wh-What happened? Are we there yet?"
Disoriented he blinked a few times and slowly took in his surroundings. They weren't on the plane anymore, that's for sure. Sheldon observed how the landscape hurled by behind the window while the low humming of a motor vibrated beneath him.
He frowned and turned to his left. "Aww, Amy…" he scolded. "You promised you wouldn't do that to me anymore."
Amy, who sat behind the wheel of a rental car, guiltily ducked her head. "I'm sorry. There were turbulences and you started to panic. I only gave you a light dose of the sedative to relax you, but you immediately passed out."
"That's no excuse." Sheldon crossed his arms. "I said I could manage possible turbulences and you agreed to leave those drugs at home this time."
"It was just a precaution." Amy tried to defend with a little shrug. "If it helps to quiet your mind, you'll be pleased to know that I got already punished for my deceit." she said. "The airport staff was a little suspicious this time as to why I was dragging an unconscious man out of the plane. They believed I had kidnapped you even after I've told them I'm your wife."
"And rightly so. Wives don't do such things to their husbands." Sheldon cut in.
"Maybe they do if they got access to the right kind of drugs and love their husbands so much, they couldn't bear to see them in panic when the plane drops into an air hole."
Sheldon raised his brows at her, which caused Amy to duck her head even lower between her shoulders. "That's a cheap way out, to use your love for me as a subterfuge."
"You saw right through that, huh?" Amy mumbled sheepishly.
"Of course, I did."
"Of course, you did." repeated Amy. "I'm sorry." she said again, briefly taking her eyes of the road to look at him. "But I really worried about you. With everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks… I thought you could do without the extra stress."
She said the last part a little lower. Careful. Tentative. As if she wasn't sure how he would react to a reminder of the emotional turmoil that lay behind them. Sheldon paused and swallowed the flicker of pain, but he wasn't sure if he did it quickly enough. Was there even any use in hiding it? Amy seemed to know already that it was still bothering him, but yet she hasn't called him out on it.
"If you want to… you can search my bags before we fly back." Amy added, diffusing Sheldon's thoughts. "I will leave the sedatives behind, I promise. I'll be there for you if the flight gets bumpy again."
"No, it's okay, Amy." Sheldon said, looking at her so she would believe his words. "I trust your judgment." he added. "And I know you'll be there for me to face… any kind of turbulences."
Amy glanced over again, catching his double meaning. She smiled and reached briefly for his left hand with her right, squeezing it where it rested on his knee. With both their eyes back on the road ahead, Sheldon sighed deeply. "So… where exactly are we?"
"Uhm… less than half an hour away from Medford." Amy said, checking the navigation. "Are you excited about meeting your family again? We haven't seen them since the wedding."
Sheldon scoffed. "Am I excited about celebrating the birth of the so-called 'son' of a make-believe deity, getting infantilized by my mother, being ridiculed by my brother and exposing myself to the germs of my sister's sticky children? Oh yes, I'm thrilled."
Despite his indignation Sheldon saw Amy smile to herself. "Come on, you love your family. And you and your siblings had fun at the wedding, so it's not all that bad."
"No, Amy, I love them because they're my family. The blood relation is the only reason I'm obligated to put up with them."
She kept smiling. "If you say so."
That was another of those moments in which Sheldon realized that marrying Amy was the best decision he has ever made. She let him have this argument even though she obviously knew him well enough to know that all he really did was pouting about his rough awakening. Effortlessly, Amy was proving again what a great partner she was to him.
That little vixen, Sheldon caught himself smiling beneath his pout.
Soon, the Cooper residence appeared along the street. Amy parked the rental car and they both got out and lifted their suitcases out of the trunk. Being back in his Southern home seemed to call to the gentleman in him, so Sheldon took both his and Amy's heavy bag while she blushed becomingly and had her hands free to knock.
"Uncle Shelly and Auntie Amy are here!" someone yelled from the inside. Sheldon and Amy looked at each other while first-mentioned rolled his eyes. He hated his sister for teaching her son that stupid nickname.
Soon enough, the door swung open and a little, dark-haired boy stood behind it, just tall enough to reach the door knob. "Uncle Shelly, Uncle Shelly!" he cried excitedly and flung his thin arms around Sheldon's waist.
Quickly, Sheldon put out his arms as far as he could with his luggage, so he wouldn't touch the little kid more than necessary. He squirmed a bit uncomfortable when the boy's surely sticky face came into contact with his shirt and looked helplessly towards Amy who only grinned in amusement. "Hello, Jake." he said. "Please, you know I'm not a fan of these hugs. Can you let go of me now?"
Without acknowledging him, Jake loosened his arms and beamed up at Amy. Until now, he only saw her via FaceTime when Sheldon and Missy called each other, but the boy was open to everyone and was quick to make friends just like his mother. "Hi, Auntie Amy." he grinned.
"Hi, Jake." she smiled back. "My, you've gotten big since the last time I saw you."
"I'm five now." Jake told her proudly, holding up four of his fingers.
Sheldon rolled his eyes again and grumbled something under his breath about not believing he and his twin sister shared the same gene pool. But Amy only smiled, took Jake's hand and helped him to lift his fifth finger, too, without actually commenting that he miscounted.
"Wow, what a big boy. So, you'll be going to school next year." Amy praised.
There was a snide comment sitting on the tip of Sheldon's tongue again, that the kid still needed to learn quite a few things before he could be enrolled in class, but that was the moment when his sister appeared at the door with her younger child in her arms.
"Hi, Shelly, I'm so glad you're here. Amy, nice to see you again." Missy greeted them happily, giving each of them a one-armed hug with her baby sandwiched between them.
"Hello Missy." Sheldon said. "Your son was being clingy again."
His remark didn't cause more than a good-natured eye-roll from his sister, before both females' attention shifted to the little, wiggly bundle in Missy's arms.
"Aww, that must be little Nathan." Amy cooed, lightly stroking over the baby's head.
"Yeah, he's just six months old, finally sleeping through most of the nights. Ugh, I tell you, I'll never get pregnant again." Missy huffed, but simultaneously cuddling baby Nathan closer to her.
Sheldon took only one curious look at the newest addition to the family and then announced that he would get the luggage inside.
"I help you, Uncle Shelly." Jake offered voluntarily, taking the side handle of one of the suitcases.
"It's Sheldon." Sheldon said distinctly. "Or Uncle Dr. Cooper. Just don't call me—"
"Shelly!" Mary Cooper exclaimed, wiping her hands on her apron and then opening her arms for her son with an infectious, wide smile. "Oh, baby, come here and give your Momma a hug."
Jake giggled uncontrollably as Sheldon finally put down the bags and let Mary smother him. "Hello Mom." he said, inhaling her scent of home as best as he could.
"Now where is that lovely wife of yours?" Suddenly, Mary all but shoved him out of the way and took a blushing Amy in her arms as she followed in with Missy.
The swirling vortex of greeting exchanges and hugs went on for quite a while as everyone filtered into the living room to where Meemaw was resting on the couch. Lively chatter, Jake's giddy laughter and baby noises filled the room. It felt all quite overwhelming to Sheldon.
Despite what he had told Amy earlier in the car, Sheldon, of course, loved his family unconditionally. There was this warm, comfortable feeling in the pit of the stomach that you only get when you return home. A soft, enveloping blanket that seemed to smell exactly like the blanket your mother used to tuck you in at night. Back at a time where everything was easy and innocent.
Sheldon felt that.
Even though it certainly wasn't all rainbows and cotton-candy when he was young. There were sad times. Sheldon swallowed the persistent metaphorical frog in his throat that kept coming back whenever he dared to think about his past. He wasn't a fan of nostalgia. Never had been. Sheldon always focused on the future and what great achievements it will hold for him. For him and Amy.
Yes, Amy. Concentrate on Amy, he told himself as he struggled to maintain his happy face. Amy was here with him. She belonged to his little family-clan as much as his blood-relatives did. Even more so on some level. Amy was the one he trusted completely. Amy was the one who knew him better than anyone else.
Sheldon calmed down. Amy is here. He smiled as he watched her from across the room, talking to Meemaw. The two fierce women had buried the hatchet a long time ago and were now sticking their heads together, giggling like schoolgirls while constantly throwing quick glances at him. They were obviously talking about him.
Sheldon would have wanted to know what exactly their talk was about, but he couldn't quite figure it out since his mother sat beside him, talking his ear off. She told him how good marriage seemed to become him, because he and Amy looked so happy together. Then she congratulated them on their scientific breakthrough even though she admitted to understand next to nothing of it. And then she went on explaining that his brother Georgie would meet with them tomorrow evening, since he still has to work until Christmas Day.
Mary did all of this without stopping to take a breath. Or at least it seemed that way to Sheldon. It was only when she took a break long enough for him to actually notice her silence and look at her that he realized the joyful tears, glistening in the corners of her eyes.
"My, isn't that sweet." she cooed loud enough for everyone to stop and divert their attention to her.
"What is?" Sheldon questioned perplexed.
Mary stroked his cheek. "The way you were just looking at your lady. As if no one else in the room existed. I could've talked for hours and hours and you wouldn't have listened to a word I've been saying."
Sheldon took his mother's hand from his blushing cheek and quickly checked to see that Amy's were red, too. "I did listen to you, mother. I've just been… thinking about something."
"Thinking about Amyy." Missy singsonged teasingly and had everyone laughing. Including Amy.
Sheldon wanted to deny his sister's jibe, but decided against it since, firstly, it would be a lie, and secondly, he was pretty sure that it would hurt Amy's feelings. As a married man he ought to try and avoid that from happening as best as he could. "Stop that, Missy!" he instead demanded fiercely.
"Alright, you two…" Mary intervened, obviously sensing when a sibling brawl was looming. "I'd say that's enough with all that thinkin' and chattin'. Y'all must be hungry. Let's eat."
Thankfully, Sheldon and everyone else agreed, welcoming the distraction. Sheldon helped Meemaw to get up from the couch and they all bustled around the dining table to set plates and bring the food. Amy just fitted into the mingling family like she'd always been there.
Again, Sheldon found his thoughts to stray back in time. How great would it have been if she had always been there, he wondered. She would've made so many things easier to deal with.
As they were moving to sit down, Sheldon pulled the chair out for her and as he was getting into his seat, their hands brushed against each other and Amy smiled happily.
It was as if she was pulling him back into the present. He smiled back and everything seemed so perfectly right. No nagging, heavy, overwhelming feelings. Just Amy. By his side. Just him and Amy and everything was alright.
Filled with new, carefree satisfaction, Sheldon let his eyes wander around the table.
At the end of it sat Meemaw, laughing loud and infectiously at her great-grandson, who sat to her right and carved funny faces into the mashed potatoes. Missy, across from Sheldon, berated him for it and gave him a playful slap to the back of his head. Then, to his left, was his mother Mary, overseeing the table with content and bliss.
And that's when, all of a sudden, Sheldon's heart stung vigorous and so abrupt that the smile instantly left his face.
He was looking at the head of the table.
The place that had always belonged to his father.
He couldn't fathom what made his vision suddenly swim. He had visited his mother regularly over the years since he moved to California as a young man and never did seeing her occupying this particular chair cause such a reaction.
Before his clouded eyes, Sheldon saw his father, stretching his hand over the edge of the table so they could say grace. Sheldon saw his own hand, so much smaller, so much softer than his father's, as he took his hand for the first time without his emergency mittens on. Sheldon saw George's proud smile as they touched.
As he blinked himself back, Sheldon's heart was beating in his throat. The others hadn't noticed his panic since they were listening to a silly story Jake was telling. But his mother was staring back at him in concern, questioning him without actually saying a word.
Quickly, Sheldon averted his eyes and grabbed Amy's left hand beneath the table. He could feel her glance over at him, too, but Sheldon concentrated fiercely on the full plate in front of him and on not breaking down.
Why now all of a sudden? After all these years. Why is he coming back to haunt me now?
Well, it actually wasn't that hard to figure out. After the set-back on his and Amy's superasymmetry theory, Sheldon had been devastated until Amy brought him that video cassette. Hearing George Cooper's voice again… after almost 25 years… had a greater impact on Sheldon than anything his younger self could've ever said.
His father… Dad... had spoken to him and he had given him the courage to continue working on his theory.
And Sheldon couldn't thank him.
The sudden severity of this loss was pulling him under. Further and further into a bottomless body of water with waves crashing high upon him.
He isn't here. And he will never be again. How can I ever thank him? Why didn't I ever thank him?
Pressure around his right hand was saving him from drowning in his sudden grief, pulling him back up. Amy was squeezing his hand, looking over at him with a careful smile.
Amy is here. She won't go anywhere, Sheldon told himself all over again, taking calming breaths.
She kept holding him, kept grounding him for as long as he was holding onto her. She didn't draw any extra attention to them by asking what was wrong. She was just holding his hand until Sheldon was able to continue eating.
"Hey… are you okay?"
Sheldon blinked as a small hand touched his back and he turned around to face his wife. Amy smiled, but concerned was laced in her voice; he could tell.
After dinner Amy had insisted on helping to clean up and Mary eventually agreed that Amy could wash the dishes while she put the leftovers away. Sheldon quickly jumped in to help Amy, so they were alone in the kitchen right now. She was washing. He was drying. But, apparently, Sheldon had spaced out for too long, staring out the window while mechanically rubbing his towel over the same plate over and over again. That was when Amy checked on him.
"Oh... yes." Sheldon answered, putting the plate to the side. "Yes, I'm alright. Just thinking." He wanted to grab the next plate of the stack, but noticed that everything seemed to be clean and dry already. He didn't do all this without noticing, did he? No, Amy must've taken over when she realized how far away he was with his thoughts.
Sheldon smiled sheepishly. "You could've told me when I stopped being useful." he said.
Amy stepped closer from behind and loosely wrapped her arms around his waist. She leaned her head against his arm, looking upwards into his face. "It's okay. I figured you would eventually come back from your zone. But you looked so sad. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes. Don't worry. It's…" Sheldon paused, swallowing the lump in his throat once again. From the corner of his eye, he saw Amy's inquisitive glance, slowly sneaking beneath his skin and unraveling him bit by bit, including the grief he was trying to hide so well. Not ready yet to open up, but sure that he would if he looked her in the eyes, Sheldon turned around and wrapped both of his arms around Amy.
Now his mournful look was concealed by a hug.
Amy was reluctantly reciprocating, as if she knew that this hug wasn't purely a way to seek comfort, but she wasn't saying anything about it. Sheldon continued his sentence, giving Amy at least an idea of what was happening in his mind. "It's just that… being here makes me think about my dad."
No words from her yet. Sheldon closed his eyes. His nose was just so touching Amy's delicate, dark hair and he inhaled. "I haven't thought so excessively about him since…" Pausing. Bracing himself. Allowing thoughts that had been locked away since he was fourteen years old to seep carefully into his head. "Since a very long time." he concluded shakily.
Her hands rubbed his back up and down, drawing him closer. "Do you need a minute? To yourself I mean…"
"No." he tightened the embrace. "It's fine. I'd rather have you with me in case I get overwhelmed at some point."
He knew she was smiling, knew that he had pleased her with this answer. He could feel it against his chest where she had buried her face. They stood in Mary Cooper's kitchen for a while, connected in this embrace until footsteps interrupted them.
"Oh." Missy said in surprise as she caught her twin brother and his wife detangling from one another. She beamed mischievously at them. "Uhm, Mom told me to look for you. I put the kids to bed, so she wants all of us in the living room for a nightcap. Also, fair warning, she pulled out the old photo albums again-"
"Ughh!" Sheldon immediately interrupted, rolling his eyes heavenwards.
Missy grinned. "You might wanna prepare yourself for some cheek pinching and hair tousling."
Protectively, Sheldon held both of his hands to his cheeks, looking horrified. "Why?" he yammered theatrically. "Why does she do this every time I'm here? She must know these photos by heart."
"She just can't handle us growing up." Missy said. "And last time she did this was when Nathan was born and I was the victim. This is your first visit since you got married, so, tag, you're it, brother."
Missy sauntered out of the kitchen with a smug grin on her face, leaving a miserable Sheldon behind. Amy's soft, held-back giggles registered in his ears. "What? She will fuss about you, too, you know. My mom can be unbearably sentimental. I'm telling you, this will be exhausting."
"Oh, I don't know." Amy grinned and stood on her tiptoes to playfully pinch Sheldon's cheek. "I can't wait to see all those pictures of my young, chubby-cheeked husband." Sheldon scrunched up his face in displeasure so she finally released him and took his hand to steer him out of the kitchen. "Oh, come on. I'm sure it'll be fun."
"Sure. Let's see how you feel about that when she starts sobbing instead of talking and the disgusting, used tissue paper piles up on the coffee table." Sheldon grumbled.