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Jay and Cole were not shy to affection. They often hugged and even held hands on occasion before their relationship, and did even more so once they got together.
Although, their playful “haha you love me so much it’s embarrassing” did die down once they began dating. It wasn’t like either of them asked the other to stop, it just went that way, like an unspoken rule almost.
It might’ve been because now that they were together, it would be too playful , like if they were still simply friends teasing each other like 6th grade boys. Maybe it was because it would seem just a bit too serious instead. They’ve only been dating for a few months, would that be rushing things?
Cole didn’t know. What he did know was that he was a huge sap for his best friend-now-lover, and he wasn’t ashamed. He gave the lightning master many hugs and kisses and bought him gifts, and Jay did the same for him.
He didn’t think Jay was worried that Cole didn’t care for him- at least the black ninja hoped he didn’t. Still, he really wanted to say those words to him.
When was the right time to say he loves his boyfriend? Cole had no idea and it was driving him a little crazy. It was almost a need to verbally let Jay know how much he loves him, but he was afraid of messing things up.
It didn’t make Cole nervous to tell Jay he loved him before they got together, but for some reason it did once they started their relationship. Well, now that Cole was thinking about it, their way of saying I love you had definitely been in a “bro” type of way. It often went like,
“You’re so annoying, I hope you know that.”
“Just admit you’re sooo hopelessly in love me.”
“No. I hate you.”
“Oooh you wanna kiss me sooo bad.”
“You wish I wanna your crusty lips.”
“Oh shut up, you love me.”
“Maybe just a little bit.”
“I knew it!”
“Don’t let it go to your head. I still hate you.”
“Sure, dude.”
Cole didn’t consider himself to be an over thinker, for he often dove into things first and asked questions later, but this… this was really messing with his head.
The two had been cuddling one night, the smaller asleep, when Cole actually said it. He was running a hand slowly through Jay’s curly hair and had just kissed his forehead before whispering, “I love you.”
Cole couldn’t believe himself. Not that he was surprised that he meant it or anything, but the fact he said it out loud . It just slipped from his lips, thank god Jay was asleep.
Ever since then, it became a habit. It just made the earth elemental feel all giddy inside. Sure he would rather say it to his boyfriend when he was awake to hear it, but this will suffice until they eventually bring all that up.
For now, this will definitely do.
When Cole was positive the blue ninja fell asleep, he would whisper those words and it brought such a warm feeling in his chest and stomach.
However, there was a night where he nearly messed up, because a very sleep Jay replied with, “Did you say something?”
Cole froze and held Jay a bit tighter. “N-No. No, Jay, sorry.” He whispered. “Go back to sleep.”
Jay wasn’t the slightest bit sure since he was completely out of it, but he really thought that Cole had maybe said he loved him. He was disappointed when Cole said he didn’t say anything, but a part of him truly believed that maybe, just maybe, his boyfriend did say those three words.
The thought ate Jay up and for a while. He went as far as to pretend to be sleeping in his boyfriend’s embrace just to see if Cole would say it again- if he ever said it at all.
Neither of them brought it up again, but Jay kept at it for a few weeks before he began losing hope, because Cole didn’t say it again. For some time he just thought… he really thought that Cole maybe loved him. Like, loved loved him to the point he was able to say it.
It crossed Jay’s mind a few times that maybe he could tell Cole he loves him, he’s sure his boyfriend would appreciate it. Right?
When do couples say they love each other? How long should he wait? Jay felt like they should just say it whenever the moment is right, and it definitely felt like that. It’s been feeling like that.
Jay groaned and stirred in his and Cole’s shared bed. All this late-night thinking was going to drive him crazy. He ran his hands down his face and let out a soft, slightly frustrated sigh.
“Jay?” Cole whispered, sitting up just enough to look down at the other when heard Jay’s distressed noises.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Jay whispered back, fixing himself into Cole’s embrace. He gripped onto his black tee and played with the fabric of it.
“I was still awake, it’s okay.” Cole lowered himself back onto the bed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist in favor of pulling him closer. “Can’t sleep?”
“No.” Jay admitted with an annoyed sigh. “It’s just- mmm, never mind. I’m too tired, let’s sleep.”
The earth ninja looked down at Jay with an amused look. “Too tired to talk? That’s not like you. I know something’s wrong, baby.”
“What do you mean that’s not like me?” Jay giggled a little and looked up at the other. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
The other simply gave a quiet laugh and a shrug. “I dunno… you just always have something to say. There’s always something going on in that head of yours.”
Jay hummed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, but nothing’s wrong.”
“Jay, don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not! I swear.” Jay slid his hands up his boyfriend’s chest. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and tangled their legs together beneath the blanket.
“Don’t try to butter me up. I know you’re lying.” Cole huffed. He pressed a kiss to Jay’s freckled cheek, a hand coming up to hold the back of his head and play with the curly auburn hair.
“Mmm, you missed.” Jay mumbled, ignoring the other’s words. He tilted his head enough to catch his boyfriend’s lips against his as he let his eyes flutter shut.
“Jayyyy.” Cole whined against the lighting master’s lips, still trying to coax his boyfriend into telling him what was up before letting himself fall into the kiss. He relaxed his eyes to have them nearly shut, keeping them open enough just to admire his partner. “Jay,” He continued to pry.
“Hm?” Jay casually replied and opened his eyes slightly, being met with Cole’s pretty browns.
“Don’t hm me. C’mon, baby, is there something wrong? You’re starting to worry me.” Cole whispered, their lips still touching.
Jay shuffled back to be able to look Cole better, now able to see all of his lover’s face instead of a close up. “You’re so handsome.” He unwrapped his arms from around Cole’s neck to cup the black ninja’s cheeks instead.
“Jay,” Cole spoke with a warning voice, despite his worry. “Jay, I’m serious.”
“So am I.” Jay answered. “You’re so so handsome, and strong, and just… perfect.” He continued to ramble, his voice hushed by the end of it.
“Baby, thank you, but really I-“
“And I love you.”
Cole felt his throat go tight at the sudden confession. He stayed silent for a few seconds, he didn’t trust his voice right now. “H…Huh?” was all he managed to say.
“I love you.” Jay repeated, sliding his hands down Cole’s face, resting them on his chest. He gripped onto the fabric of Cole’s tee again as some sort of leverage to calm his nerves. “I really wanted… I needed to let you know.”
Cole still hadn’t answer and Jay was growing even more nervous. Did he go too far?
“You don’t have to say it back. I’m sorry if I-“
“Don’t.” Cole interrupted, causing a confused expression to take over Jay’s face.
“Wh-“
“Don’t.” Cole interrupted again. “Don’t say sorry. I… I love-“
Jay’s face changed from confused to shocked, and then hopeful. He stared at Cole, patiently waiting for him to continue.
Cole felt his heart beating so fast and his hands got clammy. He reached for Jay’s hips, repeatedly squeezing and unsqueezing them out of nervous habit.
“I love you too.” Cole finally, finally answered. “I love you, Jay. I love you.”
Jay let out a shy giggle and hid his now blushing face in his boyfriend’s neck. “Yeah, you better.” He mumbled.
Cole let out an airy laugh. He loved his boyfriend. “I do. I do love you. I’ve been waiting for so long to say that to you.” He spoke softly. He wrapped his arms tight around the other, keeping him close.
“Well, I’m glad you said it now that I’m awake instead of waiting until I fall asleep.”
“Huh?!” Cole shrieked, a rush of heat coming to his cheeks. He pulled away from Jay a little to look down at him. “H-How do you know about that?”
“Oh!” Jay sounded surprised. He pulled his face out of its hiding spot to look up at his boyfriend. He gave a stupidly smug smile. “So I was right!”
Cole groaned. “Jayyy,” He whined, embarrassed. “I can’t believe you. How long have you known?”
“It’s not like I knew for sure, I just had a suspicion.” Jay thought for a few seconds. “Maybe like a month now?”
“But how? Wait,” Cole furrowed his brows before they relaxed again. “It was that one time wasn’t it? I swore you were asleep, but… you weren’t.”
“I was asleep kind of? I just heard you say something, but I didn’t know what. I thought it was- y’know, I love you, but I really had no idea and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.”
“Then how come you didn’t say anything?” Cole frowned.
“How come you didn’t say anything?” Jay pointed an accusing finger to Cole’s chest. “Technically you said it first, but how come only when I was sleeping?”
Cole looked away, both to really think and the fact he felt a bit guilty and maybe even some embarrassment mixed in there. “I didn’t want to make you feel weird- or uncomfortable.”
“Cole,” Jay placed his hand on Cole’s cheek and gently pushed his head to have his boyfriend look at his direction again. “Cole, sweetheart, I’ve been dying to hear that from you. I wouldn’t have felt that way.”
“I didn’t know.” The earth master sighed. This was all so exhausting. Turns out he and Jay could’ve been exchanging I love you’s for months now, but they were both too stupid to figure that out beforehand.
“I guess I just didn’t wanna rush things. Not that this feels rushed, I just- I thought that maybe you would think it would be too rushed…? I didn’t want to make you feel weird about it, about us. ”
Jay giggled and slightly shook his head. He leaned up to give Cole a peck on the lips. “Never. I love you too much.”
Cole let out a bashful giggle of his own. “Dork.” He snuggled his face into his boyfriend’s soft curls. “You’re so perfect, Jay Jay.”
Jay rested the side of his face on Cole’s chest. “You too.” He hummed. He shut his eyes when he felt that sleepy feeling begin to rise. “I’m tired.” He confessed and on cue, he yawned.
“Me too.” Cole yawned after Jay, yawns were contagious after all. “Guess we should sleep, huh?”
“Uh huh.” Came Jay’s tired reply.
“Goodnight, bluebell.” He whispered and let his tired eyes shut.
“Goodnight… I love you.”
Cole felt that warm, gushy feeling all over again. He held Jay tighter before returning the confession.
“I love you too.”