Chapter Text
Inside the highest tower of the Carterhaul estate, Lord Kaoru Sakurayashiki, first of his name, and official Calligrapher to the Duke of Carterhaul, frowned down his desk. He pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring the rising pressure in his head. The desk before him was a careful study of chaos and order, and abstract representation of someone having a mental breakdown at the speed of molasses. At last Kaoru sighed, placing his brush down. He was only going to ruin the page of the manuscript if he kept this up. It was the damn rose he was supposed to be copying, the final decoration on an already extravagant page. He hadn’t so much as sketched the flower. He couldn’t bring himself to do so. The ornate layers of the rose promised his hands hours of detailed hell. Damn his overindulgent clients.
“Carla,” he said to the tiny purple pixie beside him. “Time please?”
“It is currently eight thirty master!” she said brightly, delicate wings fluttering as she began to help him seal up the inkwells and brushes.
He sighed, he had missed dinner then. All too well, socialization was a difficult task most days. Very few people in his life wanted to talk to him without hidden motivation, and Kaoru was already exhausted. But now more than ever he was conscious only of the ever nearing deadline, and talking to anyone was becoming less of an unpleasant situation and more of a wild fire waiting to be set. One of these days Kaoru was going to burn someone so bad that the whole forest went up in flames. So his isolation was merely future damage control, or so he kept telling himself. He frowned as he noticed a strand of hair that had slipped out his braid.
“Carla, do we still have any of the almond cakes Reki attempted to make?”
She frowned, brow furrowed, “the ones you deemed ‘inedible’ and asked me to please put aside for the next time His Esteemed Lordship-”
“Yes.” Kaoru snapped, cutting her off, he didn’t look at her as he did, busying himself with un-doing and rebraiding his long pink hair. It wouldn’t do him any good to see the look on her face, the flinch when his voice rose. It wouldn’t do any good to let her know how he was feeling, not now, not after six years. Besides Carla knew his every emotion, even if he didn’t say them out loud.
She remained silent for a moment, before hovering in front of him, “Master, you already skipped lunch, and dinner last night. Skipping another meal is inadvisable, it will decrease tomorrow's productivity by at least forty-four percent.”
Damn it. He thought. Damn it all. He sighed, standing up from his desk and walking towards the door that led out of the safety and quiet of his tower into the hellscape of the rest of the estate. His skateboard, normally propped up and ready to go at the door, was currently hidden in the vines outside the eastern gates, exposed to the elements. This had been bothering him ever since he had been forced to leave it there the week prior, like an itch he couldn’t scratch. Just another thought to keep his brain awake at night. He could have messaged Reki and asked him to get it, maybe he could have hidden it in the stable, at least then it would have been safe. But he hadn't.
“Are you going to get dinner?” Carla asked hopefully, landing gently by his side.
“Perhaps,” he muttered, lifting his wrist in a silent command. Carla sighed, and hovered in front of the empty charm held by heavy iron links on his wrist, before lightly placing a hand on it. The gem turned from the color of fresh snow to the deep violet of an iris, as Carla nestled herself inside.
Inside the highest tower of Carterhaul there resided a man whose hair naturally grew pink. A man whose only friend in the world was a pixie. Inside the tower there was just Kaoru and his work, and his cursed thoughts.
Outside of the tower there was just Lord Kaoru Sakurayashiki, first of his name, and official scribe to the lord of Carterhaul, and all the responsibility of the first born son of the Duke of Carterhaul. Outside the tower were attendants and prying eyes, spies from the king, spies from the Fae, and an ever growing line of people who wished to use Kaoru for their own good.
Most people could have guessed that there was more than one side to Kaoru, even if he never let them see beyond the mask of perfection. The well hidden impolite, short tempered and snappish side that he tried to hide from the world, this was the calligrapher. But in truth there was a third version of him. A part he liked much more, a young man whose only competition was his own ghost, a young man who could outsmart anyone on a board, who could pull off any trick without breaking a sweat.
Kaoru preferred the tower to the circus of the court. But if he was being truthful, he was only happy, only felt like he knew himself when he stood on a skateboard, somewhere far enough away that he couldn't even see the tallest tower of Carterhaul. He sighed, picking up the light pink and white jacket off the hook beside his door.
Kaoru opened the door and stepped outside of the tower, the mask of a young lord slipping onto his face.
“Kaoru.” A demanding voice cuts through his thoughts. Shit. “Come here.”
He sighed, walking through the open door to the great room. Most of the court had left to socialize in the ballroom and nearby game rooms. He could almost feel the whispers and schemes of various lower nobles. But Lord Sakurayashiki was not among them, instead he sat still atop the dais with his paperwork. A roaring fire caused shadows to dance across his already dangerous face. His temper was up and Kaoru hadn’t even spoken.
“Yes my lord?” he said, trying to keep the defiance and frustration out of his voice as he bowed to the man some would call his father.
“You were not at dinner. We had guests.” The Lord said, his voice even and still as a storm before lightning strikes. I hardly would consider the baron and his daughter to be guests.
“I apologize my Lord, I had urgent work to attend to.” Kaoru said, still bowed, hoping his hair covered his face enough so that his father could not read his face. In truth the manuscript was of no importance, but Kaoru still couldn’t bring himself to finish it.
“Never mind. You will make it up to the young Baroness Kiriko. I expect you to attend the dances tonight. You will not embarrass me with your absence again. I have allowed you to dally your time away with this foolish pursuit for quite some time now.” He squeezed his eyes shut at that. An order then, and one he didn’t even try to challenge. It was easier to disappoint than to pick a fight, despite the frustration and anger building in Kaoru’s stomach. Kaoru wasn’t good at avoiding fights, but he just didn't have the energy at the moment. They hadn’t always been at each other's throats, not while Kaoru’s mother had been alive. Back then things had been easier. Not less complicated, but somehow they had always worked out. Lord Sakurayashiki’s anger had been soothed by a gentle word or song from Lady Sakurayashiki. And Kaoru had had an ally, a shoulder to lean on, and a friend. But now, without his mother, Kaoru was afraid there was no real ties of family between him and his father. And the net of expectation was getting tighter.
“Yes father.” Kaoru said, risking a moment to rise to his full height to scan the room for any leftover dinner. Unfortunately the servants seemed to have done an excellent job as always. The hall was spotless, and who could blame them, Lord Sakurayashiki was not a forgiving man. One mistake and you were gone. “I shall leave right away father. By your leave.” He started to turn and walk away, glancing down to see a tuft of hair had come free of his braid. He sighed in frustration and yanked the golden tie out, letting his hair tumble free.
He couldn’t see the sneer in his father’s face, but he could hear it when he next spoke, “I wish you wouldn’t wear that Fae charm in your hair. It's unsightly and abhorrent.”
Kaoru froze. Before turning to meet his fathers eyes across his shoulder, forcing the elder Sakurayashiki to meet his golden eyes. When was the last time I looked him in the eyes. The Lord flinched brown eyes clouded with disgust, a tiny movement, but nevertheless it was there. Kaoru doubted anyone else would have seen it. But he knew to look for it, it was after all the only look he expected from his father. Slowly, maintaining eye contact, Kaoru began to redo the braid. Taking his time to carefully tie it with the golden band once more. Lord Sakurayashiki dropped his gaze first. Kaoru couldn’t bring himself to consider it a victory.
“Anything else, Father ?” He asked, voice icy.
“You would be aware of this if you had been present at dinner. It is forbidden for the foreseeable future for anyone to go to Crazy Rock. There have been sightings of a ghast, some spirit that seeks to challenge and hurt anyone it encounters. Do you understand Kaoru? You owe the Baroness a dance. You will not leave the premises of this estate.”
Kaoru thought he had done well to hide the flinch when Crazy Rock was mentioned but his fathers tone said otherwise. So he smiled diplomatically and bowed again, “Yes father. I understand completely.”
Still the moment he was out of the great hall he took off for the east gate, and grabbed his skateboard.
“Let's see just who thinks they can claim Crazy Rock from me, right Carla?”
After all, he needed an outlet for all this frustration.