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The war raged around them, feeding Asura’s bloodlust. The arms of his Spiritual Entity cut through the demons with the ease of drawing a breath, and he was lost amongst the feeling of destruction and death. Part of him would always belong here, in the trenches of war, facing apocalyptic landscapes marred with blood and despair, but he was never lost in it forever. Not anymore, now that he had Taishakuten and the mellow pull of his Spiritual Entity dragging him back from the abyss of anger that threatened to consume him.
This battle would be over soon. With the demons ambushed, there was little they could do to recover ground against the Wings. The enemies closest to him and his soldiers had already fallen, and the air, which was once met with the war cries of both sides, was now filled with the wails of his enemies. A swift victory was in sight.
Even with the might of his Spiritual Entity, Asura should have known better than to get confident in battle, however. There was a cry further away from him, and a flash of telling golden light. He turned his head in time to see Taishakuten, who was supposed to be closer to the rearguard, standing in defense of a vulnerable group of soldiers, his lotus shield shattered like glass by the force of a demon swinging his mace.
In an instant, Asura’s Spiritual Entity was reaching forward, working so fast that his blinding rage hadn’t even registered yet, but he was mere seconds behind the action. The demon had struck again, and with the soldiers still recovering from the shock of Taishakuten’s sudden appearance and badly injured, nothing could come in time to stop the blow from fully hitting Taishakuten. Two of Asura’s arms caught him at once before he could go flying back haphazardly into the rest of the Wings, and two more slashed through the demon that had dared to raise its weapon against Taishakuten.
Asura saw red. The dwindling army of the demons was an unacceptable number, and he cut down what he saw, until there was nothing left, until there was nothing left at all. By the time he regained a bit of himself, the battle had come to an end. At some point he had released Taishakuten, and now that the haze had cleared from his mind, he rushed over to where a field medic and several soldiers were already helping Taishakuten.
“Taishakuten!” There was no response. The soldiers immediately parted at his presence, save for the diligent field medic who was tending to the nasty wound on his chest. Blood seeped into the white cloth of his outfit, and his chest rose and fell in shallow, rapid breaths. His eyes were closed, but not peacefully, and his already pale complexion was beginning to look ghostly.
“It’s not fatal,” said the field medic quickly, no doubt seeing the growing horror on Asura’s face. “He’s stable enough for us to get him back to camp for proper treatment.”
Even though the adrenaline of battle was still running through Asura, he managed to still his hands and steadily slip them beneath Taishakuten’s body, lifting him up. His body was unusually warm against his, and as Asura carried him to the far back of the field where their transport was waiting to take them to camp, he couldn’t help but hold him closer, as if his proximity could chase away the pains and bloodshed.
No one was going to question Asura for riding in the infirmary wagon back to camp rather than leading them back at the front the way a proper leader would. Anger still bubbled in Asura’s chest, but the demons were gone. He couldn’t kill them again. Just what was Taishakuten thinking? Even if he was going to be fine, had it been worth an injury like this?
He couldn’t be peeled from Taishakuten’s side even as the doctor back at camp tended to his wounds and wrapped them gently, and when Taishakuten was taken to a room to rest peacefully, Asura was right there with him. The Wings were competent. They didn’t need Asura to hold their hands through assessing their army after the battle and making sure the camp was secured and stocked.
So he waited. He waited for Taishakuten to wake up, watching as the once rapid breaths evened out into the slow, deep ones of sleep. Hours passed in silence, the night coming and going with no discernible movements from Asura or Taishakuten. It was hardly even a question of whether or not he would stay by Taishakuten’s side until he woke up, though several members of the Wings tried to get him to leave so he could eat and sleep.
When Taishakuten’s eyes began to slowly open like a cat rising from a simple nap, Asura found some of his anger that he held in his chest was dissipating. He was just glad Taishakuten was alive and safe, and though he knew that had been the case since the battle, it was different to see that his friend was waking up in one piece. That steady green gaze fell on him, a small smile on his pale lips.
“Asura,” he said. His voice was whispery and thin, reminding Asura of those foggy mornings when he would find Taishakuten newly risen from sleep, seemingly fragile beneath the gentle rays of dawn. Something about those moments always made Asura want to reach out for him, as if to steady him in the waking world.
No. There was no time for those kinds of thoughts. Asura was still pissed about the little stunt Taishakuten had so foolishly pulled.
“What were you thinking?” Asura said, his voice firm.
Taishakuten’s smile fell. “Are they okay?”
“The ones you were protecting are fine.” A little shaken, but fine. He couldn’t say that for everyone--this was war, after all, and the Wings knew what sort of hell they were walking into. “There haven’t been any signs of those demons since, and all the injured are being attended to. You’re the one who came back in the worst shape, in case you wanted to know.”
Taishakuten gave a deep inhale and then suddenly cringed, seeming to remember the wound he had and the tight binding of his bandages. “Don’t move so suddenly,” Asura admonished, getting off his chair to sit on the edge of Taishakuten’s bed.
“I didn’t intend to be this injured,” Taishakuten said, a hand over his chest.
“With the way you ran in, I could be convinced otherwise.”
Taishakuten looked up at him. He was almost completely sunken into the pillow, his short hair curled around his cheeks in a mess that desperately needed brushing. It was such a rare moment of dishevelment for Taishakuten, and Asura couldn’t look away. “I couldn’t stand back and watch them get hurt when I knew there was something I could do. All’s well that ends well, right?”
Asura narrowed his eyes. “I was right there, Taishakuten. Those men would have been safe, if a little more bruised up. I told you to stay in the rearguard. We decided that.” The battle may have been a sound victory now, but even with Asura’s powers there was uncertainty, and after a bit of back and forth Taishakuten had finally relinquished to stay towards the back of the army when they were first going over their plans, where he was safer and surrounded by more of the Wings.
Taishakuten looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry. Even though I know I am weak and ill suited for this war, I still manage to make myself a liability to you. I don’t regret jumping in, but…” But I do regret this Spiritual Entity of mine. Asura knew those were the words he would have followed it up with, and a familiar frustration burned through him.
He could defend Taishakuten from almost anything. He could shield him from the blows of the enemies, and he had no problem intimidating those fools who would speak poorly of him because of his status as a nobleman in the army--but he could never defend Taishakuten from his own cruel thoughts that continued to drag him through his self-hatred. How many times could Asura tell him that his strengths lay elsewhere, and that they were equally valuable? Asura could fight this war, but Taishakuten was the one that made it all worth fighting for. Without him, Asura was an aimless weapon slaughtering everything in his path. He would never know these moments of peace and tranquility without Taishakuten.
“You’re not a liability,” Asura said. Just impulsive in ways that Asura hadn’t expected when he first met him. They were rare moments, yes, but they were still Taishakuten through and through.
Taishakuten was quiet for a moment. Then, he began to sit up, moving to pull the thin blanket off of him even though it was clearly causing him discomfort. Asura put a hand on his shoulder, and it took no effort at all to hold Taishakuten back. “I want to make sure that the soldiers have everything in order.”
“You need to rest.”
Taishakuten’s face took on a pout that warmed Asura’s heart, though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, both for his own pride and the fact that Taishakuten would probably find it condescending. “Haven’t I rested long enough? The wound is barely an issue.”
“You could easily tear it back open!”
Taishakuten’s skin was warm beneath his hand, just like when Asura had picked him up on the battlefield. “Soldiers get injured all the time in war, we don’t strap them all down to their beds!”
“You’re not just any soldier,” Asura reminded him. Taishakuten’s eyes widened slightly. “And you’ve only just woken up. If you want me to get a doctor in here, I will.”
Taishakuten stared at him for a few moments, seeming to know that the doctor would only parrot Asura’s words. “One more day,” Taishakuten said.
“You’ll stay here as long as it takes for you to get better.” Asura got back up only to return to the chair he had been watching over in.
Taishakuten raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to go check in on the others?”
“They’ll come to me if they need something.” Besides, he knew that if he left now, Taishakuten would just wander off behind his back like a child stealing from the cookie jar.
If he weren’t injured, Taishakuten might have argued more against him, but he couldn’t help the tiredness that his healing body cast over him. Taishakuten stared at him with half-lidded eyes and Asura stared back, watching as his friend finally drifted into sleep again. Now that he had heard Taishakuten’s voice and saw he was okay, there was less nervousness in him, and he could relax a bit into the chair, closing his own eyes.
Asura was a light sleeper, moreso since he was still sitting up right in a relatively uncomfortable chair, and there was very little shock in him when he slowly opened his eyes a few hours later to see that Taishakuten was standing up, one hand on his bandaged chest. He was trying to be quiet, but Asura was sensitive to his presence.
“What are you doing?” Asura said in a low voice, and Taishakuten jumped.
“I’m feeling much better. I want to stretch my legs for a bit.” In the dim light, Asura could see his face was flushed and strands of hair stuck to his clammy skin. He stood up, blocking Taishakuten’s path.
“Really?” Asura said, and it only took a light push for Taishakuten to go stumbling back onto the bed, too weak to do anything else.
“I--” He was cut off by Asura kneeling on the bed and pressing his open palm to his cheek, feeling the blaze of fever still running through him. Asura leaned over him, disappointment plain on his face.
“Feeling much better with a fever?”
Taishakuten’s eyes were glassy, and having been soundly caught, he gave up playing innocent. “It’s not that bad.”
“No,” Asura admitted. “It’s not.” He looked down and saw that the bandages on his chest were stained. “Let me change your bandages, since you’re so wide awake.”
The appropriate medical supplies had been left for Taishakuten nearby, but changing bandages and applying medicine didn’t require a doctor’s hands. Asura was more than capable, and in a strange way, he was excited to be able to do this. How many times had Taishakuten healed him from the brink of madness? Returning the favor never felt like it came easy, but this, this he could do.
Taishakuten was sitting up, his legs crossed, and Asura sat across from him. He didn’t have gentle or steady hands. Every part of him felt made for killing, even when he didn’t need to wield a sword to do it, but he tried to recall his mother’s delicate hands tending to his own scrapes and began to remove the bandages, his fingers gliding across skin and fabric to peel it off. Taishakuten was incredibly still, and Asura felt watched. He was almost envious that Taishakuten could read minds, because right now, he really wanted to know what his friend was thinking.
The bandage was removed, and that horrible wound was displayed for him to see. There was little Asura’s rage could do now--those demons were already dead, and he couldn’t very well kill them twice over, as nice as that sounded. Though the bandage was gone, Asura’s hand stayed just below the wound on the smooth skin of Taishakuten's stomach, stuck in his thoughts. He didn’t want to turn around one day in a battle to see Taishakuten getting hurt like that again. It only took one bad moment, one slip of their fortune, one well placed hit, for all of it to come crumbling down. Celestials were tough, Taishakuten was tough, but the chances of permanent damage were never zero.
“Asura,” said Taishakuten. His face was even more red, and he was probably still in pain, especially after attempting to get up.
Asura pulled his hand away and reached for the clean bandages. He carefully wrapped them around Taishakuten’s chest. “I understand why you fight so hard,” Asura said, his hands slow and clumsy. “But you’ll never recover well if you keep getting up before you’re ready.” He narrowed his eyes. Sometimes, he didn’t get Taishakuten. “Are you trying to prove something? Do you think you’ll be left behind?” Are you that willing to see death’s doors?
Taishakuten shifted uncomfortably and Asura steadied him with one hand on his waist. “You can’t ask me to always be the one to stand in the back while everyone risks their lives in front of me.”
“It’s not always. And right now all I’m asking you is to sit still!” Asura wanted this bandaged quickly so that he no longer had to look at that injury. “You’re--”
“I’m important, I know,” Taishakuten said with little patience. “How many times have I been sent away at the last critical moment for my own safety? How many have gotten hurt in my place? Is this injury really such a big deal, when I should have had as many as them long ago?”
There was a vacant, far-off look to Taishakuten’s gaze, and no doubt memories from before he met Asura were coming to the surface. He was weak from pain and fever, vulnerable in a rare way, and though Asura always wanted to know him more, he didn’t want it like this. These memories could come out to him under better circumstances, when Taishakuten wasn’t so rundown by the recent battle.
“That isn’t how it works. You don’t make up for their sacrifices by throwing yourself into dangerous situations,” Asura said. “I don’t want to see you hurt when I know you would be fine otherwise, and it isn’t because you’re just ‘important’ to this army, but because you’re important to me. I need you, Taishakuten.” He felt no shame in admitting that, and could probably say those words a thousand times over.
A quiet settled between them, and Asura was uncertain if Taishakuten would continue to argue his point incessantly, continuing the argument that never seemed to stop between them, or if he would relinquish for once, and at least get some damn sleep. Then, in a sudden move, Taishakuten’s hands were on Asura’s face, tilting it up so that he was no longer looking at the bandages, and a warm, certain kiss was pressed onto his lips.
Asura stilled, but it was hardly from shock. Well, he was caught a little off guard, but this wasn’t a bad development at all. He knew what had sat in his own heart for a long while now, and he must have been thinking heavily about it once he considered how his hands stayed on Taishakuten’s feverish body as if they had nowhere else to be, nothing else to do. When Taishakuten pulled away, there was a strange expression on his face, as if he was still working through his feelings and the lingering pain of sitting up for quite a bit of time with his injury.
“Was that a last ditch effort to convince me to let you go?” Asura asked.
Taishakuten narrowed his eyes, a smirk on his face. “You’re not funny.”
“Honestly, it might just convince me to stay longer.”
“Asura…”
He schooled his expression a bit. “If this is how you feel, then you know that it’s the same for me, and that it’s impossible to sit back and let you hurt yourself further. Of course I want to protect you. There’s no one else like you.” No one nearly as stubborn either, he thought as he became uncertain of what Taishakuten would say.
“I do understand,” Taishakuten said, and that sincerity and openness was all Asura wanted from him. “And now you understand why it hurts to just stand back. But I know… one day, this whole conversation will be obsolete, because the war will be won, and neither of us will have to watch the other get hurt.” Asura tucked a messy strand of Taishakuten’s hair behind his ear. “Maybe staying in the infirmary won’t be so bad if you’re here, too.”
Asura opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly the door to the infirmary opened, and he was quickly reminded that Taishakuten was still being looked over by a doctor who had come to change the bandages of himself. The two of them made quite the scene, with Asura sitting on Taishakuten’s bed, pressed close with his hands protectively placed over Taishakuten’s body and the discarded bandages piled up on the floor. No doubt Taishakuten appeared disheveled and flushed, and one could only guess if it was because of an illness or Asura.
“I’m so sorry!” the doctor exclaimed, immediately running out before the situation could devolve.
Taishakuten clutched his head as if a massive headache came on. “That was wildly embarrassing…”
“I’m not embarrassed,” said Asura with a shrug.
“Well, he is. And he’ll tell others, and then they’ll all be feeling some type of way.”
“Then just focus on what I’m feeling.” That was more than enough to get Taishakuten’s attention back on him.
“I don’t have to read your mind to know what you’re feeling.”
Asura knew he would no longer have to worry about Taishakuten sneaking out behind his back as he leaned forward to kiss him again. They were both too eager about this new development to care about the world around them, and they took their rare moment of recovery in stride together.