Chapter Text
Andromeda was in a foul mood and Hermione was having absolutely none of it.
The bond with the young Gryffindor was the most unexpected friendship Andromeda had ever formed, but she wouldn't have it any other way. Well, maybe today she would because the young witch was mothering her worse than her mother and Ted's mother combined ever had.
"I'm worried, you know," Hermione said with a concerned expression that made her look older than she was and reached over the table to grasp the older witch's hand. Andromeda looked terribly pale this morning. Trying to get some reaction out of her, she squeezed the delicate hand, but Andromeda kept her mask firmly in place.
Hermione's expression darkened and she sighed exasperatedly. "Honestly, woman, sometimes you behave like a moody teenager!"
Andromeda tried her best to keep her lip from twitching upwards and shot her a glare. "You'd know everything about being a teenager, wouldn't you, little one?" She said, her voice holding a decent amount of ice.
Hermione saw right through her and snorted. "Let me at least know if there is something I can do for you." She ran her thumb over the soft skin on the back of Andromeda's hand.
Andromeda calmly withdrew her hand to lift the teacup and take a sip. "What you can do is stop fussing over me. I'm just feeling a little under the weather and Teddy sure is keeping me on my toes." She gave Hermione a half-hearted smile and focused on her tea again, gently blowing into the cup to cool the steaming beverage.
Hermione sighed. The older witch had been telling her this story ever since the end of the war three months ago. Hermione knew she had a hard time keeping her food down and thus ate as little as possible. With everything going on in Andromeda's life, Hermione wasn't surprised that she was neglecting herself, but she was getting fed up with it.
Teddy's wail interrupted the silence that had fallen over them.
Andromeda walked over to Teddy's crib, gently lifted the wailing baby in her arms and pressed him against her chest to soothe him. "Could you or Harry watch him until tomorrow? I've got somewhere to go and I'd really like to rest afterwards."
"Yes, sure. Do you want me to accompany you?"
Andromeda handed her Teddy, raised her eyebrow and gave her a stern look. "I'm forty-five years old, Hermione! I'm perfectly capable of going alone!"
"Alright, alright," Hermione said, waving her hand. She was in no mood to provoke Andromeda's fiery temper any further. "I'll be out of your hair as soon as I've packed his stuff."
The expression on Andromeda's face softened. "I'm going to get ready, too," she said and left the kitchen before Hermione.
"Your Nana is a mysterious woman," she whispered into Teddy's ear, cradled him some more and then put him in his crib so she could go pack his things in peace.
Whilst climbing the stairs, Hermione wondered why Andromeda was so secretive. Over the last year, they'd built a solid friendship, but now something seemed to weigh her down and it bothered Hermione that she couldn't get through to her. Swiftly, she fetched all the necessary baby things from Teddy's room and stuffed them into a colourful bag.
When she passed Andromeda's bedroom, she spotted the witch sitting on her bed. She had one elbow on her knee, with her head propped on the hand. Hermione noticed her blank stare and wondered what she was thinking as she looked terribly lost. After several moments, Andromeda slightly shook her head and sighed heavily. She pinched the bridge of her nose and then ran her hand across her belly before getting up. Hermione quickly left the hallway before Andromeda could spot her.
She strapped the baby bag across her shoulders and picked up Teddy. He leaned his head against her shoulder and she ran her fingers across his silky cheek. "Have a nice day, Andie," she called over her shoulder.
"You too, love, and thank you!" Andromeda replied and put her head in her hands.
Her mind was reeling. Nervously, she stroked her hand over her belly and sighed as tears sprang to her eyes. She put on a blouse and jeans and headed out. Instead of going to St. Mungo's as she had planned, she took the Tube to Kensington and then walked the five minute's walk to a posh looking townhouse. Even though she loved Hermione to bits, and she did have a big mouth, which Andromeda enjoyed, she was not Calista Hall and she was in desperate need of some friendly banter and loving care.
She and Calista had met during their sixth year at Hogwarts. They had been paired up one day in potions class. After cracking jokes about Slughorn a bit too loudly during his class, they had ended up in detention together. Their shared mischief had laid the foundation of their lasting friendship. The Hall family, despite being half-blooded, had been somewhat accepted by Andromeda's parents, so their friendship hadn't been clandestine. It faltered for a bit after Andromeda had left home due to threats from Calista's family. They had met again when Andromeda had given birth to Nymphadora and they've rekindled their friendship since, meeting up at least once a month. Calista was now head-healer of St. Mungo's maternity ward.
After a few calming breaths, she rang the bell, hoping the healer was home.
Calista Hall opened the door with a puzzled expression on her face and almost immediately let her gaze drop onto Andromeda's stomach. She pointed at it and curled an eyebrow.
"Drat, Black! You could've shown that to your favourite healer before you popped, you know?"
Andromeda glared at her. "Go fuck yourself, Hall!"
There was nothing else that gave Andromeda as much pleasure as teasing Calista Hall and it made her forget all of her sorrow for a while.
Calista laughed loudly and winked at her. "In front of you?"
Andromeda groaned, which made Calista laugh even harder. "It's always a pleasure seeing you, Black!"
"Well, can I come in, or do you need to hide your lovers first?" She gestured towards the hallway and smirked.
"You're especially snappy today, I like it. And yes, do come in."
Before she could take a step, Calista drew her into a tight hug and then in one fluent movement, shoved her hand underneath Andromeda's blouse and ran her hand all over her stomach.
"Beautiful," Calista hummed into her ear and then dragged her into her flat by her wrist.
She pointed towards the sitting area. "I beg you, please take the couch. I don't know if my chairs can hold you."
Andromeda rolled her eyes so much it hurt but sat down on the couch as ordered. It was much more comfortable than Calista's appalling designer chairs anyway.
Calista swiftly prepared peppermint tea, handed her a cup and sat down next to her.
"Spill the tea!"
Andromeda lifted her cup and slowly turned it sideways. Before a drop could fall onto the pristine white carpet, Calista jumped up, snatched the cup from her fingers and put it on the coffee table.
"For fucks sake, Black! Stop deflecting and tell me how this happened?" She gestured towards Andromeda's belly.
The cheeky grin dropped from Andromeda's face within a second, and Calista's hand was on her thigh a heartbeat later.
"It's what happens when you fuck around in the middle of a war without giving a damn." Her voice was bitter and lacked emotions as the guilt was eating away at her.
Calista leaned back into the couch and sighed. "Woah, Drommie, no! You don't get to talk like that! Yes, yes, you were shagging around with Ted at Hogwarts but afterwards? You loved him, you were married! There's nothing wrong with having sex!"
Desperate tears rolled down Andromeda's cheeks. "Of course not! But we were such blithering idiots! The night he had to leave, we just…and we didn't think and now I'm all alone and I hate it!"
Calista draped an arm around her. "What on earth makes you think you're alone? As long as I draw breath, you'll never be alone!"
Andromeda leaned against her shoulder and slipped her hand underneath her blouse. Calista put hers on top of it and rubbed it.
"Do you love this baby, Drommie?" Carefully, Calista brushed Andromeda's hair out of her face.
Andromeda took a shuddering breath. "With all my heart!"
"Good," said Calista, snuggled closer and kissed her cheek. "Nothing else matters. This new person will be so very loved. I promise you that!"
Andromeda sobbed and buried her head against Calista's shoulder. The healer let her cry for a few minutes but then lifted her chin, wiped the tears with the pads of her thumbs and looked at her with her head cocked.
"Merlin's balls, Black, stop that bloody wailing. You must be parched by now."
Andromeda shook her head as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. "I feel so guilty."
Calista cupped her face and met her eyes. "You're not replacing family. You do know that, right?"
Andromeda nodded weakly, tried to believe those words, but guilt clutched at her heart. "Yes," she stammered out and avoided Calista's gaze.
Calista raised her eyebrow and gently drummed her fingers against Andromeda's cheek. "Really?"
A shiver ran down Andromeda's spine and the pain of never seeing Nymphadora again flared up. She shook her head. "No, tell me again."
Calista gathered her in her arms and drew soothing circles on her back.
"You are not replacing Nymphadora, Drommie! Nothing can ever replace that wonderful girl."
Andromeda nodded, swallowed the tears and clung to Calista.
-§-§-§-§-§-
When Hermione brought Teddy back around lunchtime the following day, she found Andromeda curled up in her bed just as she had found her several times before. She shook her head at the sight of her crumpled and discarded sheets and her brown hair, which was splayed all over her pillow and face. For a moment, she contemplated letting her sleep as she looked so incredibly peaceful.
Before Hermione could make her decision, Andromeda stirred and opened her eyes, rubbing her face and yawning.
Hermione plopped down next to her with Teddy in her lap and nudged her shoulder. "Good morning!"
A small smile formed on her lips when Andromeda immediately laced her arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Teddy reached up and encircled one of Andromeda's fingers with his tiny fist.
After a few minutes of serene playing with Teddy, Andromeda leaned back into her cushions and met Hermione's eyes. "I've had another nightmare."
Hermione turned around, ran her fingers through Andromeda's dull, brown hair and Teddy did the same. Andromeda hissed when he pulled a little too hard but then smiled at him and tickled his sides.
"Was it the same one as usual?" Hermione asked, freeing the nodding witch's hair from the toddler's vice grip. "He's fine, you see, all cute and sassy. Nothing's going to happen to him. We'll make sure of that, yes?"
Andromeda gave her a watery smile as she sat up. She crossed her legs, took the baby from Hermione's arms, and lay him down onto the mattress between her legs. "Do you think they'll ever stop?" she asked whilst caressing Teddy's belly, which made him gurgle happily.
Hermione breathed in through her nose and exhaled slowly. She was plagued by nightmares too, well they all were, but it seemed that Andromeda and Harry had the worst ones. "I wish I could tell you." Hermione had told her that exact phrase countless times and it always seemed to work. At least for a while.
"Why don't we go for lunch? I'm starving," Hermione suggested.
Andromeda shook her head. "I don't think I can eat." She was well aware that she should eat more, but even the thought of food turned her stomach. She kept her eyes fixed on Teddy.
Hermione gave her a stern glance and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She had heard that sentence one too many times and her patience was running low. "You have to eat something!" Her voice was harsher than intended and the gloomy look Andromeda shot her mellowed her a bit, but she wasn't inclined to swallow the rest of her tirade. "I know you've trouble eating, but please, Andie, just some toast." She hated to treat Andromeda like a child, but she couldn't help herself.
"All right," Andromeda agreed with a sigh and slowly got out of bed. Dark spots appeared before her eyes and she swayed. She tried to grasp the window sill, but her knees gave way before she could reach it.
Hermione was not quick enough to stop her from falling. She gathered her in her arms and cursed her stubbornness. "Damn it, Andie, don't destroy yourself!" She hissed as her eyes filled with angry tears.
Andromeda straightened her spine and leaned back against Hermione. The younger witch put her arm around her, just below the swell of her breasts. Gently, she ran her fingers through her hair, brushing all the long strands over her left shoulder and kissed the top of her head.
Andromeda enjoyed her comfort for a while but then grabbed Hermione's hand and guided it beneath her loose t-shirt. Hermione stiffened but let her continue. Andromeda gently pressed Hermione's palm to the soft skin of her stomach and moved it around. Hermione gasped and her eyes widened when she felt a firm bump and then movement under her hand. "Andie!"
"I know. I know!" Andromeda bowed her head and stemmed the tears.
Hermione pulled her shaking body closer and rocked her gently. She put her other hand on Andromeda's stomach too. The baby kicked against her hand and Hermione gasped again. "How far along are you?" She laid her chin on the older witch's shoulder and gently caressed her stomach, mesmerised by the baby's movements.
Andromeda tightened her grip on Hermione's hand and it took her a moment to answer. "Six months, give or take a few days." The older woman turned around to look at Hermione, her eyes brimming with tears. "He'll never meet his child," she whispered, her voice breaking. She pressed her palm against her mouth to silence her sobs.
Hermione felt helpless. All the soothing words that came to her mind were false promises and flowery phrases. She took a deep breath and embraced the older woman a bit tighter. 'I'm so sorry, Andie. It's going to be alright. Both of you are going to be fine!'
Andromeda's sobs died down a little and Hermione helped her get up from the floor. They sat down on the edge of the bed and Hermione reached for her hand again.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Andromeda shook her head. "I'm ashamed."
Hermione had a hard time finding the right words. Gently, she drew circles on her back. "Maybe the timing isn't the best but who cares? I certainly don't!" She smiled and Andromeda's lips twitched upwards too. "All that matters is that you'll love this baby. And knowing you, I'm sure you do."
"Very much so," Andromeda said, smiling. She ran her fingers across her abdomen for a bit and then met Hermione's eyes. "I'm afraid people will judge me for being careless."
She sniffled and Hermione handed her a handkerchief from her bedside table. Andromeda dabbed at her eyes and took a deep breath.
"They've no right to judge you." Hermione's voice was firm. "It's none of their business."
"And yet people always gossip," Andromeda said bitterly. She's had her fair share of rumours about her life during the last decades.
Hermione gave her a sympathetic glance and squeezed her shoulder. She was glad that Andromeda had finally let her in and told her what was going on.
"I only acknowledged it last month, you know," Andromeda admitted after a moment of silence. Her cheeks gained colour. "When I didn't bleed, I blamed stress and age. Then, one evening, I felt the all too familiar tickling in my belly and I guess in the back of my mind, I've known for a while. A week later, Dora died." She looked up at Hermione as her tears began to fall. "I just couldn't think about the baby anymore until yesterday, when I had an appointment at St. Mungo's." She put her face in her hands.
"Andie," Hermione whispered, pressing her cheek against Andromeda's. "How's your baby doing?"
"I didn't go in," Andromeda said, agonised. "I was not ready to see the expression on their faces.'"
Hermione took her hands and kissed her knuckles as she contemplated. They stayed like that for a while, Andromeda leaning against Hermione.
"You could go to a Muggle doctor."
Andromeda scowled. She had never ventured that deeply into the Muggle world. "What if the baby is magical?"
"Then we'll call the obliviators and make a run for it!" Hermione laughed and Andromeda joined in her laughter.
The thought of being anonymous appealed to her. "I guess it's worth a try."
She turned and gently kissed Hermione's cheek.
Feeling relieved, Hermione smiled at her. "I'll make an appointment. But now, Andromeda, I'll force you to eat. No excuses anymore!"
The stern glance she shot her made Andromeda's stomach tingle. "Yes, ma'am!" she said after a moment, with a gleam in her eyes, feeling lighter than she had in a while.