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Who knew the other side could be so green?

Summary:

“What do you want from me?” Marshall finally asks irritated down to every single bone.

“What’s your beef with me?” Colson asks, smirking, not ready to backdown anymore.

Notes:

Originally written on November 29th, 2020

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

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“What do you want from me?” Marshall finally asks irritated down to every single bone.

 

What’s your beef with me?” Colson asks, smirking, like the annoying devil he is. Not ready to backdown anymore.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Everyday this same freaking routine.

They’ve got nothing in common yet this one annoying neighbor seems to believe they need to have a tea party or some shit. Every. single. morning.

 

Small talks aren’t Marshall’s thing but this Colson guy has made it a point to annoy him with his unwanted ogling of Marshall’s body. Instead of civil talk all they do is verbally fight each other. Flirtation veiled in snarky comments, that’s Colson’s idea of being an excellent neighbor.

 

That guy even got a dilapidated car siting in front of his house. Something about art and aesthetic appeal or some equally boring crap. Marshall’s pretty sure that the car’s there only because Colson knows how much it irritates him to see stuff like that. Also, it gives Colson the perfect view of Marshall’s porch and him working on his car.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hey  Marshall! Is there anything you want me to do?” Colson asks cheekily knowing full well what would be the other guy's answer. 

 

“Staying where you are is the only way forward.” Marshall grits out as he searches for the cleaning oil in his tool box.

 

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Do you know how much I enjoy watching you do all this, everyday, with my own eyes?”

 

The pin-drop silence from the other side is his only answer but Colson knows Marshall’s listening so he continues.

 

 “You see, the thing with recorded videos is that, they just don’t have that fire. That thorny attitude of yours and of course, those priceless bitter words. Mmhmm. Delicious.” Colson moans loudly, not really caring if someone else hear him except Marshall in the broad daylight.

 

Eyes widening in sheer horror Marshall turns his head so fast he almost gives himself a whiplash.

 

“You did WHAT?” Marshall practically shouts while looking everywhere, frantically trying to find out the hidden cameras. That little shit is so dead.

 

“Man, I’m so fucking hornyyy and… and angry, yeah real angry right now, I’d even risk the COPS just so I could smash your face in.” Colson announces rather loudly.

 

That’s it. Somebody’s going to prison tonight.

 

As Marshall decides to confronts the guy and finally talk some sense into him, preferably with his fists, Colson decides to go for the kill.

 

“Hey! Listen to me asshole, I’ve had enough!” Colson shouts as he loses his flirtacious demeanor completely  and then narrows his eyes, shooting daggers at him.

 

Marshall looks on confused. Good.

 

“Tonight, we’re going on a date, alright? And that’s final." Colson begins. "No backsies! We’ll even take that car of yours that you love so much” Colson informs him before abruptly standing up and retreating back to his own house, shaking his head all the way, laughing quietly.

 

“What the... It ain’t happening, Colson!” Marshalls yells at his freakishly tall neighbor’s retreating back.

 

“7 p.m. and wear something fancy!” Colson shouts back before slamming the door happily.

Notes:

It was a silly attempt last year to write something humorous about emgk. Hope y'all liked it.