Chapter Text
“Who was she?” Loki asked as the reel came to an end.
He had just witnessed his entire life play out before him, ending long before it should have and having accomplished nothing he thought he wanted. He recognised nearly everyone shown, his mother, father, the Avengers, Thor…but there was a woman that he had no recollection of, clearly not yet meeting her but important enough to his future self for her to be included.
“She was one of the few people who saw the good in you. One of the very few people who thought you could be more than the villain, who saw the potential in you.” Mobius said, causing him to screw his eyes shut and shake his head.
“As if there could ever be such a person.” Loki scoffed. He knew what he was, the film reel only highlighted that.
“Her name is Y/N. Thor brought her to Asgard during your time spent there as prisoner. She wandered down to your cell despite being told never to go by Odin. She was there for the battle, saw all the destruction and chaos but still she asked you for your side of the story.” Mobius said, pausing as Loki interrupted him.
“Why on Earth would she ask for my side of the story?” Loki asked bitterly, his eyes still wet with tears.
“That’s exactly what you asked her.” Mobius smiled, “You dismissed her, told her to leave but she didn’t listen. She stayed and sat with you in silence and continued to do so as the days went on, sometimes she brought books and read to you. Eventually you caved and told her your side of it. Somehow she decided that you weren’t all bad.”
“Then she is a fool.” Loki snarled, finally turning to face mobius.
“A fool,” Mobius chuckled fondly, “I don’t think so, I think once upon a time she was the villain and she was given a second chance. I think that made her kinder. Besides, she’s a fool you love more than anything, she’s a fool you lived for, a fool you would’ve died for without hesitation.”
Loki stayed silent for a few moments, processing the information. It seemed utterly impossible for anybody to love him, the thought of it was ridiculous. How could someone see good in him, he was the villain…he was always destined to be the villain.
“What happened to her?” Loki asked eventually.
“After Thanos was defeated and the Avengers brought everybody back, she hoped you’d be brought back too. When you weren’t, she was lost, broken. She had lost the one person who truly believed in her and she couldn’t deal with it. She used the time machine and went back to the moment before Thanos attacked you, she tried to warn you, she tried to change the future but that future couldn’t be changed.”
“What happened to her?” Loki asked again, this time more harshly, a dangerous edge to his tone.
“The TVA stepped in; she was to be pruned but then the decision was changed. We’ve been looking into you for a very long time, needing information and trust me when I say nobody knows a Loki better than Y/F/N Y/L/N.” Mobius said with a smile that Loki didn’t understand.
“She’s here?” He asked instead.
“She’s here.” Mobius confirmed.
“You dare to hold her here, for what? Because she knows me? Let her go.” Loki ordered, stepping close to Mobius who just chuckled in response.
“If it makes you feel better, she hasn’t given up any information about you. Refuses to speak to any of us, so they put her in a time cell hoping that’ll convince her to talk but I don’t think it’ll do any good. Even when she knows you’re dead, she’s still protecting you, consequences be damned.”
Loki thought she sounded foolish, to you he was dead, why wouldn’t you bargain for your own life? Give them information and make them let you go. A small part of him was pleased though, loyalty like that was almost impossible to come by.
That small part of him wanted to know you but he knew that was impossible.
Loki sighed, too quiet for Mobius to hear, before taking a seat on the step.
“I can’t go back, can I?” He asked, knowing the answer. He was never going to get to experience the things he’d seen. “Back to my timeline.”
Mobius looked at him, he really did sympathise with the God, watching how you had held up against the interrogations for him, well he must have been worth it.
In a moment of weakness, Loki confessed everything that only he knew…well things he hadn’t told you yet at least. He admitted that he didn’t enjoy hurting people, didn’t enjoy being the villain, admitted how weak he felt so conjured fear to feel powerful, he explained everything to Mobius, he explained the illusions, how he wanted to control.
“You do know yourself.” Mobius said, pleasure in his voice.
“A villain.” Loki admitted in defeat.
“That’s not how I see it.” Mobius said, watching as Loki looked down, not giving away what he felt about that statement. “That’s not how she saw it either.”
“I can’t offer you salvation,” Mobius told him, “but maybe I can offer you something better. Like I said we’re holding Y/N here because she knows Loki’s better than anybody.”
“What do you mean ‘Loki’s?” He asked, it hadn’t occurred to him that the plural had been used earlier either.
“A fugitive Variant’s been killing our Minutemen.“ Mobius told him, causing Loki to raise his eyebrows.
“And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him?” He asked as he stepped closer to Mobius
“That’s right.” He nodded.
“Why me?”
“Because” Mobius began, “the Variant we’re hunting is you.” Loki’s eyebrows raised in confusion at this.
“I beg your pardon?” Loki said, they were hunting him?
-
Loki agreed to help and was quickly tasked with watching educational videos about the TVA, their policies and protocols but his mind kept wandering back to you. You were here somewhere, risking your life by withholding information. He admired you more than he wanted to admit and knew he had to meet you.
“Hey.” Mobius greeted as he walked up to his desk to see Loki sat with his feet up.
Before he could say anything else Loki spoke:
“I went to see her.”
It wasn’t a surprising statement to Mobius, in fact he’d been waiting for Loki to ask since he first heard about you. After the first outing with Loki to track the Variant down, he admitted he was growing fond of the God, so despite restrictions he nodded.
“I thought you might want to. Leave it to me, I’ll sort something out.”
-
You sat on the floor, eyes dry as you’d long ran out of tears.
It isn’t real.
You kept repeating the statement to yourself, not wanting to forget. It was so easy to forget that this wasn’t real. If you let yourself you could pretend Loki was alive, you could give in and lose yourself forever in this fake world they had conjured up for you.
Somehow you resisted, though as the days dragged on it was getting harder.
Every few minutes the scene would reset itself when you didn’t play your part.
Loki would stroll in through the door, calling out for you.
You remembered the moment they were playing for you, you were supposed to meet him at the door and he would bring you in for a soft kiss. He had had a long day at the Grandmaster’s side, playing his part so the two of you could escape.
It had been weeks since you had first arrived, breathing a sigh of relief when Loki stood in front of you. You were welcomed immediately once the Grandmaster found out you knew Loki and since then he had been working his way up in the man’s good graces.
After the two of you pulled away from each other you were supposed to go over to the sofa where Loki would wrap you up in his arms, tucking you in so your head rested under his chin. He’d place soft kisses on your forehead and let his fingers dance along your skin.
It was a moment of peace for the pair of you.
Then the scene diverged from how it should of continued, instead Loki told you how you were merely a pawn in his game, you had run your course and he no longer needed you, he told you how glad he was to be rid of you, how you were a villain just like him, he told you to stop playing the hero, reminded you of all the people you’d hurt, all the lives you ruined until you couldn’t take it anymore.
Right now, Loki was berating you, you wanted to cry, you wanted to scream and punch the walls and beg him to stop. You had done all of that in the early days and it made no difference, the scene always played on no matter how much you begged.
They said if you told them about Loki they’d let you go but you refused to talk. He might be dead but according to them there were other Loki’s out there and whilst none would ever come close to your Loki, you wouldn’t betray any of them.
You didn’t know how much time had passed, it could’ve been mere minutes or years, but the orange light appeared in the shape of a doorway and a man was stepping through.
Mobius.
You liked him. He was always nice to you even though you knew it frustrated him when you wouldn’t give any information up, he never hurt you like the others.
“Hello Y/N.” He said, his voice soft and smile friendly.
“Mobius.” You greeted, voice empty of emotion.
Mobius hated seeing you like this, he really did. He remembered you when they first brought in, so full of fight and spirit. Seeing you this broke didn’t sit right with him.
“C’mon.” He said, holding out a hand for you to grab, frowning when you flinched.
After an awkward pause you did take the offered hand and let Mobius take you through the doorway.
“No.” You said as you stepped out, turning to go back through the door but it was already closed.
“Y/N,” Mobius began, his voice changing to resemble that of how someone would talk to a frightened animal.
“No, not here, only in there,” you said, gesturing to the empty space where the door was only moments before. “He’s never here.”
“Y/N, this is Loki.” Mobius tried again but before he got the chance to give you an explanation, you exploded.
“My Loki is dead, Mobius!” You yelled pushing Mobius away, the fight you had thought long gone coming back stronger than ever, you felt the anger build inside of you, it felt like it was going to burn you alive. You hadn’t cried in a long time but the tears came pouring down rapidly now. “He’s dead, I watched him die! So don’t stand there and tell me he’s my Loki. Whatever kind of torture this is, it won’t work. You hear me, I hope the Loki your tracking finds you first, I hope he burns this place to the ground.” Despite the anger and the yelling, Mobius couldn’t help but smile as you echoed some of Loki’s first words to him.
“Y/N, is it?” Loki said, taking a hesitant step towards you.
You turned away from him, refusing to play whatever game Mobius had set up.
“I’m afraid I don’t quite know what to say, it feels like you know everything about me and I so little about you.” Loki confessed, he really was at a loss but seeing you so sad, so broken, so tortured…it pained him.
“You’re not my Loki.” You whispered harshly, though it sounded like you were trying to convince yourself rather than him.
“No, I’m afraid I’m not, for I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet. Though I do envy my future self for having got so much time with you but perhaps it was better that way, I don’t think you would have liked this version of me as much.” Loki was shocked to find he believed the words wholeheartedly.
“You’re not my Loki.” Was your only reply.
“I know.” Loki repeated. “I am from your timeline though. I’m the Loki that just lost to the Avengers in New York.” Here he watched as you looked to Mobius, who gave you a sincere smile whilst nodding.
Then you turned to look at him.
“2012 Loki?” You asked, wiping at your eyes.
“Yes. I was captured and Thor was ready to take me to Asgard when the tesseract was released and I made my escape.” He watched as you played the information over in your head, matching it up with events you remembered.
“That’s when the TVA got you?” You asked, hesitant to believe it but Mobius was the only one who hadn’t lied to you yet.
“That’s when the TVA got me.” Loki confirmed, shooting you a small smile. “I heard they got you because you tried to save me.”
“Tried being the key word,” you scoffed, “I was so close, but they whisked me away and reset the timeline. I’ve been here ever since.”
“Staying loyal to a dead man?” Loki asked, causing you to smile.
“My Loki might be dead but there are other Loki’s out there, I refuse to betray any of them, especially one causing the TVA so much trouble.” You said, missing the way Mobius grinned.
“Your Loki must have meant an awful lot to you to inspire so much loyalty.”
“My Loki meant everything to me.” Was your reply.
There was a pause in the room and Mobius was quick to gesture to the chairs around the table. You hesitated for a moment which Loki noticed and he moved to pull a chair out for you. You couldn’t help but smile at him, the gesture was something you had become so used to, God you missed him.
“So, this Variant?” Loki asked, looking away from you to Mobius.
The three of you spent the next few hours going over the information the TVA had on the Variant and if Loki moved closer to you…well who could possibly blame him?
-
“Oh, my goodness. Don’t tell me the Variant ambushed and killed another team of Minutemen?” Here Loki paused to let out an exaggerated gasp causing you to laugh silently into the palm of your hand. “And stole their reset charge as well.” You couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter causing Loki to grin widely before the two of you were shushed.
You both froze as you locked eyes with Loki, you raised your eyebrow at him causing him to smirk. Slowly he turned around to see the librarian and shushed her back.
You couldn’t have wiped the smile off of your face if you tried.
-
“Wait, I’ve got it!” Loki exclaimed after a long silence were the two of you continued reading the files Mobius had left.
“What?” You asked, looking up at him.
You watched as Loki scooped the folders up before reaching a hand out to you, you didn’t hesitate as you took it and let him pull you along.
“Where are we going?” You laughed.
“To show Mobius.” He told you, looking back to smile at you before hurrying over to Mobius who was sitting with a lunch tray.
“I found something.” Loki said, placing the files on the table and taking a seat, dragging you into the seat next to him, so close your knees brushed together.
Mobius ignored his words as he replied, “No, I said don’t bother me until you’ve read all the files.”
“We have read them all.” You and Loki said together, pausing to look at each other with small smiles and turning back to Mobius who watched the two of you with a raised eyebrow.
It wasn’t long before you were hiding a smile as Loki demonstrated how his theory worked using Mobius’ salad as Asgard and another worker’s drink and some salt. One of the many things you loved about Loki was how expressive he was when he was explaining something, especially when it was something he was passionate about. The hand gestures, the demonstrations, even just how elegantly he spoke…you loved watching him talk like this. There was an ache in your chest at seeing this again, but you managed to push it aside.
“There’s the apocalypse.” Loki said with a proud smile.
“That’s the apocalypse?” Mobius asked looking down at his, now ruined, lunch.
“If everything around you is destined to lead up to that one moment then whatever you do won’t have an impact,” You said looking from the salad to Loki who was nodding at you with a pleased expression, “right?”
“Exactly!” He exclaimed. “So, the Variant hides out in these apocalypses,”
“And nobody would ever know because whatever that Loki is doing can’t affect anything, whatever they do doesn’t stop the apocalypse.” You finished and Loki looked so pleased as he turned to face you.
“Not bad.” Mobius said, causing you and Loki to quickly look away from each other, making Mobius chuckle.
-
As Loki and Mobius tested the apocalypse theory out, you were forced to stay behind. Whilst you were allowed to help out with the research work, Renslayer had denied you access to leave the TVA.
You were sort of glad for the opportunity to be alone. Seeing Loki again was hard, he was so much like your Loki which made sense because technically he was your Loki just an earlier version of him. His mannerisms were so similar that sometimes you had to pause to catch your breath as the ache in your chest grew.
Sometimes Mobius sent Loki on a task when he saw you were getting overwhelmed and in the few minutes of Loki’s absence, Mobius would sit with you and talk just above a whisper, sometimes he praised you, sometimes he told you stories, whatever he did always grounded you and you were so thankful to the man.
Some days it was almost like the time cell they had you in were you just wanted to pretend that he was the Loki you knew, pretend that he knew you too. You wanted him to wrap his arms around you and just let the world fall away. It would’ve been so easy to do it but you pushed through it and carried on with the helping find the other Loki.
-
“So, tell me where you’re going again.” You asked Loki as Mobius spoke with somebody.
“Earth, more precisely Haven Hills, Alabama, 2050. It’s a corporate town owned by Roxxcart until it’s wiped out by a hurricane.” Loki told you.
“And that’s where you think Loki’s hiding?” Loki looked at you watching as you nervously bit your lip. He frowned seeing how worried you were.
“Hey,” Loki said, placing his hand under your chin and guiding you to look up at him. He let his palm rest against your cheek. “What’s wrong?”
You sighed as you let your eyes fall closed. You didn’t know what was wrong, you just knew something didn’t feel right.
“What if something goes wrong?” You asked instead of answering.
“It’s going to be fine.” Loki assured you with a small smile but you just shook your head before moving away from him to pace.
“You don’t know that Loki, you don’t know it’ll be fine!” You exclaimed, causing Loki’s eyes to widen in concern.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Loki whispered as he reached for you, pulling you close so that your head rested on his chest. He felt you tense up for a moment before relaxing into him and he let his hand rub comfortingly up and down your back. “Tell me what’s wrong, darling.”
That seemed to be the final straw for you and before Loki knew it you were sobbing into his chest, gripping him tightly like he’d disappear if you let go.
“It’s ok, you’re ok.” Loki continued to whisper soothing words into your hair as he held you.
Mobius turned to call Loki over, the task force ready to leave but when he saw the two of you huddled together he gestured for everyone to move away to give the two of you some privacy.
“Tell me what’s wrong, love, so I can fix it.” Loki said after you began to calm down. He pulled you away from him, frowning as you whimpered but relaxed as he just wiped your tears away, keeping you close the entire time.
“The last time I…” You trailed off, taking a shaky breath, “The last time I lost you, you told me everything would be fine. You were lying of course; you knew you were lying but I didn’t. I didn’t know just how bad it would be and now you’re going to face another Loki, one who has been avoiding and killing minutemen for longer than I’ve been alive. I can’t lose you again, I can’t lose you.” You rushed out, your voice breaking at the end as another round of tears fell from your eyes.
Loki paused for a moment and just watched you, feeling his heart clench in sympathy. He hated his future self for dying, for leaving you alone but he also knew how much he loved Thor, he’d rather the both of you live without him than him having to live without either of you. Maybe that made him selfish but he could see why his future self had made the sacrifice.
“I’m sorry, darling,” He said as he pulled you back into his arms, “I’m so sorry that you were left alone, believe me if I could change it I would no matter what I had to do but if it comes down to you or me, I’m always going to choose you. I know that after only knowing you for a short amount of time so the Loki you spent years with….well I can see why he wouldn’t hesitate. You can come with us, I’ll convince Mobius, if it’ll make you feel better, but everything really is going to be ok.” Loki promised as he placed a kiss on the top of your head.
As he turned his head, he saw Mobius who gestured that they needed to go. Silently, he pointed to you and then to Mobius, pleading with the man to let you go. He watched as Mobius frowned before looking down the hallway and back to the two of you before reluctantly nodding and mouthing “quickly.”
“Let’s go.” Loki said as he linked your hands together and led you to the task force.
Mobius smiled at you softly and you mouthed a thank you towards him before you were all being ushered through the doorway.
-
The rain was…well it was apocalyptic. You watched as Loki looked up at the sky as it thundered dangerously with a small smile, your Loki did that too, just looked up at the sky and thought of Thor when the weather was stormy.
Once the task force was inside Loki used his magic to dry the two of you off causing you to jump slightly, it had been so long since you’d been around magic.
“Thank you.” You said and Loki just smiled down at you.
“The hell was that?” One of the agents asked, causing Loki to grin cheekily.
“That was me using magic to dry our clothes so we don’t announce ourselves with every squeaky footstep like the rest of you.” You couldn’t help but snort, causing Hunter B-15 to glare at you.
“Take both teams and sweep the storm shelter.” She said to the rest of the task force and everyone was quick to move.
“Loki and I are gonna check out the Green House. We’ll meet…” Mobius began but was quickly cut off by Hunter B-15.
“No.”
“No?” He asked in confusion
“You go with D-90 and take Y/L/N with you. He stays with me.” She said, causing Loki to glance first at Mobius then you, you watched him with a concerned look but eventually nodded.
Mobius and Hunter B-15 bickered back and forth before Loki cut in.
“Mobius, it’s fine. It’s fine. You can trust me. I understand I have to earn that, so, I will.” He said, again looking from Mobius to you. You smiled at him, causing him to smile back.
“Why is it the people you can’t trust are always saying, “Trust me”?” Mobius muttered to you before turning to Hunter B-15, “Okay, try to hang on to your Time Collar this time. We’ll see you in the showroom.”
And with that everyone went their separate ways.
-
“You can trust him, you know.” You told Mobius once you were far away enough from the others.
“No, you can trust him.” Mobius said with a fond smile. “Me however, well we’ll see.”
The two of you walked behind the group following as they led you into a room full of people seeking refuge.
“Check the bag for reset chargers.” One of the hunters said and everyone was quick to set to work as the people around you panicked.
“Hey! These people are scared.” Mobius snapped at one of the hunters who was being particularly vicious towards the people, looking at him now you recognised him as one of your harsher interrogators.
“They’re about to die. They should be scared.” He snapped back causing your eyes to widen in horror at the harshness.
“Not of us.” Mobius said calmly.
“Please we’ve got women and children.” A man said as he gently grabbed your arm and pleaded with you. You looked at him with tears in your eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” You whispered before Mobius led you away. “You’re really going to let these people die?”
“Our job isn’t to save them.” Mobius said sadly, sympathising with you. The first few missions are always the hardest.
“No,” You scoffed as you moved away from him, “your job is to make sure they die.” You hissed before stalking out of the room.
Tears made their way down your face as you left the room but you angrily brushed them away as you tried to find Loki. You had always thought something seemed off with the TVA but seeing their work up close made you nauseous.
A thud snapped you out of your thoughts and you peeked around a corner just in time to see Hunter B-15 hit the floor. You spared her little thought; Mobius would find her and instead you followed Loki.
You saw Loki standing alone but talking to somebody.
“I see, that’s your plan, lure us all here so you can blow the place up.”
You watched as a giant of a man came from nowhere and kicked Loki in the chest sending him flying backwards. The man, a Loki perhaps?, just thanked him for helping stall for time before hitting him again sending him further back. Loki used his magic but still the man showed no signs of slowing down.
“Stop hiding.” Loki commanded, causing you to raise an eyebrow. More than likely the Loki variant then, hiding in the bodies of refugees.
A sick feeling suddenly came over you as you watched the Loki variant choke Loki, images of Thanos and Loki invaded your mind and it took everything for you to stay quiet.
You breathed a sigh of relief as he let Loki go though it was short lived as Loki went flying again, smashing into one of the stands.
The Loki variant’s eyes turned green before the man hit the floor with a laugh, suddenly there was a hooded figure with glowing green hands standing behind him. As Loki’s voice bounced around the room, the Loki variant pulled his hood down.
There stood a woman. Loki in her true form.
“This isn’t about you.” She snarled.
“Right.” Loki said, sounding dubious before the power shut down. The last thing you saw was a smirk on the Loki variant’s face.
The lighting turned red as the Loki variant picked up a tempad, you watched as the familiar orange doorway appeared and that bad feeling you had about Loki coming here grew painfully.
This wasn’t going to end well for anybody.
She waved at Loki before stepping through the doorway and moments later Mobius, Hunter B-15 and another Hunter where running down the hallway shouting for Loki to stop.
“Loki, wait!” Mobius pleaded and Loki actually looked torn before shaking his head and walking towards the door.
“Loki!” You yelled, finally stepping out from behind one of the isles.
Here Loki paused before turning to you, his eyes were wide as he looked at you and, in that moment, you knew what would happen.
“Please.” You whispered and he looked crushed.
Mobius was near him now, nearly within distance to grab him, to push him away from that damned doorway but he was too late.
‘I’m sorry darling.’ Loki mouthed before he ran through the doorway.
The orange faded to nothing just as Mobius reached it and you could do nothing but stare at the doorway with an aching heart.