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Falling in love with a Prince of Asgard had never been you plan, of course it was a dream many around you had but no one was foolish enough to believe it could happen and yet here you were, head over heels for the Prince who made you feel like you were something more than just a servant, a helper to the palace, made you feel like you were the most important person in all the realms.
It wasn’t easy to pinpoint the exact moment your relationship had shifted so drastically, had changed from just a way to blow off steam into what it had become, the two of you falling hard for each other. Not that it got acknowledged, how could it? You knew no matter how much you and Loki cared for one another, no matter how much love was between the two of you, nothing could ever come from it, it was something you thought about more often than you’d like because no matter how hard you tried to push it away it always lingered.
Despite the consequences, despite how forbidden your relationship was, despite how nothing could ever come from it, you and Loki were determined to make every moment count. Now it wasn’t just about sex, it wasn’t about sharing a bottle of something to forget your troubles, instead it was about sneaking off to a quiet corner of Asgard, far, far away from anybody else and stealing magical moments together.
Some days the two of you went exploring, despite living on Asgard your whole life you had seen so little of the planet and Loki was the best guide, knowing all the secret spots that hadn’t been explored for so long. Other days Loki had set up picnics by the lakes, sometimes the two of you were content to stroll through the hidden woods or find a patch of grass and bask in the sun, you held against Loki’s chest as his hand absentmindedly played with yours. Some days you were more than happy to stay in your chambers at the palace, safely locked away from the outside world and tucked up against each other, so tangled together it was hard to see where you started and Loki ended, the day passed in a blur of softly spoken words and gentle kisses.
You knew you shouldn’t have let yourself grow attached, knew it was dangerous to fall in love with the God and yet the thing was you couldn’t stop yourself from loving him, couldn’t contain the feelings you felt. You could only stand by and feel as they grew stronger and stronger with each stolen meeting. It wasn’t spoken aloud though, Loki knew how you felt just as you knew how he felt and that was enough, it had to be enough because there couldn’t be anything else.
You knew he wasn’t yours, no matter how easy it was to pretend in the moments you had together and yet when the news broke you felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest and immediately felt the hollow emptiness from where it had once been, felt your blood go cold and you had to fight to stay standing, to not let your knees give out. Tears filled your eyes but you had to blink them away, you couldn’t let them fall until you were back in your chambers, alone.
“Prince Loki of Asgard is to be married to Princess Astra of Svartalfheim on the eve of the sixth day.”
The announcement caused an immediate reaction around you, people cheered and celebrated and you had never felt more alone surrounded amongst so many. Loki wasn’t yours, he had never been.
As you pushed your way through the celebrating crowds you couldn’t help the small spark of anger that seemed to ignite in you, a sudden emotion that contrasted so harshly with the emptiness it caused to pause for a moment before continuing to make your way to your chambers. You couldn’t help but feel betrayed, sure you knew that you and Loki had never belonged to each other, that the many months you’d spent at each other's side didn’t mean anything to anyone else but you thought they meant something to him. You hated that you’d had to hear about the news just as every other person had, you thought you at least deserved to be warned, to hear it from the man himself and yet when you had seen him only that morning he made no mention of his upcoming big day.
The second you entered the safety of your rooms your back hit the closed door and you couldn’t stay standing any longer, sitting on the floor, back against the door as the tears finally flooded down your cheeks, sobs leaving you and if anyone could hear the sobs coming from you they would send a chill down their spine. They were the kind of sobs nobody ever wanted to hear, gut wrenching and ones that spoke of true loss, of having the one person you cared deeply for ripped away from you, the person you loved snatched from your grasp.
You couldn’t say just how long you stayed curled against the door, tears finally seeming to run dry and you could do nothing but sit there, staring ahead, unseeing as your mind continued to play the news on a continuous loop that was sure to drive you insane.
At some point you managed to drag yourself up, managed to set yourself down on your sofa but couldn’t do more than that. You couldn’t bring yourself to deal with the news, couldn’t bring yourself to do more than sit and think about everything, about how foolish you were, how somebody like you, somebody who was nothing in the eyes of royalty, had fallen for the Prince himself. It was a foolish, reckless thing and yet even with all the hurt and anger and betrayal you felt, you knew you wouldn’t take a single second of it back, wouldn’t change a single moment of your time together and if all you had left was the memories of Loki then that had to be enough.
The frantic knocking at your door shouldn’t have startled you as much as it did but you were so absorbed in your own thoughts that you jumped at the noise. There was only one person it could be and you hesitated before standing only to stop at the door, hand on the handle debating if you should open it.
“Please Y/N,” You heard Loki call softly and had to clasp a hand over your mouth, somehow just hearing his voice was enough to bring on a fresh wave of tears. “Please darling, let me explain.”
Loki waited a moment before sighing so softly that it couldn’t be heard from your side of the door. He leaned against the wall next to your door as he began talking again, knowing that everything had fallen to pieces. How had he been at your side only a few hours earlier, easy smiles as you basked in the soft glow of the morning light, soft words spoken between you and even softer kisses shared before the two of you were forced up by your duties.
“You have to believe me, darling, I didn’t know.” Loki swore and you couldn’t help the small sob that escaped you as you listened to him. “I had no idea, not until I was called into the throne room, not until I was being introduced to her, to my new wife.”
The last three words were snarled out, his tone shifting from that soft, light one he always seemed to use around you to one you knew was usually reserved for arguments with Odin. It gave you hope that he truly was clueless to the news, made you think he did treasure your time together as much as you did.
“You had to know I tried to fight it, to fight for us, but it’s no use, not against Father.” He sighed and frowned, you, yourself, sniffing as you tried to still your tears. “It isn’t even to secure peace between our Kingdoms, not that that would make this better but at least it would be for something. No, this is entirely Father’s doing, another way for him to control my life. I didn’t want this, my darling, if you believe nothing else I’ve said, please believe that.”
You did believe it, you had to believe it because if you didn’t then that meant that every moment you had spent together, every moment you held close to your heart had meant nothing to him. With watery eyes you took a deep breath and pulled the door open causing Loki to look up at you through wide, apologetic eyes.
Not caring about any of the palace stuff who could be loitering around their chambers Loki pulled you into his arms, the feeling of safety and warmth and home so overwhelming that tears slid down your cheeks again much to your annoyance, you were so fed up with crying and yet you couldn’t stop them from falling.
Loki held you close, tucking you under his chin and refusing to let go even as he walked the two of you into your chambers, ignoring the sofa and leading the two of you to your bed. He didn’t waste any time pulling you down, shifting you against him so you were both comfortable as you buried your face in his chest, fists clenching the fabric of his clothes as you cried and he hated he could do little else but hold you close, murmuring soft apologises as he waited for your tears to calm.
“Must you get married?” You asked him quietly, well aware of the answer and asking it anyway.
“I’m afraid I have no say in the matter.” He told you with an unamused chuckle, frowning when you looked up at him with teary eyes. “Believe me, darling, if it were up to me it’d be you walking down that aisle this weekend.”
The words that were meant to comfort you sent an ache through your chest, if it were up to you it’d be you too but both of you were powerless. Somehow Loki was a Prince and he held as much control as you, a simple commoner who happened to work in the palace.
“I wish it were me too.” You whispered to him before burying your face in his chest, holding him tightly as if to ingrain the feeling of him into your mind because soon enough that would be all you had of him, memories, and the ghost of him against your skin doomed to haunt you for the rest of your days.
Loki’s own arms tightened around you. When he had first made his way down to your chambers he had been furious, people moved as he stalked through the corridors as he seethed at the sudden news. News, he had been informed, that had been announced to the whole Asgard as he himself heard it and all he could think of was you hearing it, thinking of the betrayal you must have been feeling thinking he had known. Now as he held you he only felt weak, he wished he could stand up to Odin, wished he could stop this marriage before it could begin but he was powerless, there was nothing he could do.
Hours passed between the two of you in silence. There were so many words that needed to be said and yet neither of you wanted to break the silence, neither of you wanted to acknowledge the truth of the situation. Here in your chambers it was easy to pretend that the outside world wasn’t there, like Loki’s soon to be wife wasn’t outside of your doors somewhere.
But the truth was she was and in just four days the two of them would be married and soon enough to Loki you would be nothing but a distant memory whereas to you Loki would always be your everything. Loki had a duty as Prince and if Odin demanded him to marry a Princess then how could Loki argue with that.
You had always known nothing would, nothing could come of your relationship with Loki but you had always hoped for more time, hoped something would change that allowed you to keep Loki to yourself. He was a Prince though and Princes didn’t marry people like you, they married Princesses, beautiful Princesses who grew up in palaces, surrounded by every luxury someone like you could only dream about.
And yet Loki had still chosen you, he had told you he’d rather it be you walking down the aisle. You had nothing to offer him, you weren’t anything special, you had no status, no family riches or power and yet he still wanted you. He was here with you now instead of with the Princess.
You pulled away from his chest, just far enough so that you could look up at him, watching as he smiled softly down at you before he brought a hand up to brush a stray piece of hair away from your face, his hand drifting to cup your cheek, thumb brushing delicately under your eye and you couldn’t help but lean into the touch.
“I wish it was you.” He repeated his words from earlier softly, so softly that if you hadn’t been this close to him you would have missed them.
Instead of replying you leaned up and closed the short distance between the two of you, brushing your lips against his before he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss but keeping it soft. His hand stayed on your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin every so often and you only pulled away when the need for air became too much, resting your foreheads together as you caught your breath.
It wasn’t fair to say it, not now. The two of you both knew how you felt, those three words didn’t need to be spoken, not when you’d both known how much more it would hurt to leave each other once those words had been said but you couldn’t just not say them. You had to say them out loud at least once, he had to hear the words from your lips, it wasn’t enough for him to just know, you had to say them.
“I love you, Loki.” You whispered the confession, eyes still closed from the kiss.
Loki was silent for a moment and you opened your eyes, catching sight of the smile on his face, one that spoke of amazement, of overwhelming happiness at hearing those words before you were closing them again as Loki leaned down and kissed you. This time the kiss was deeper, it was wilder and messier but it didn’t go farther than that though it took both of you longer to pull away this time, the two of you panting for air as you finally separated.
“Darling, I love you,” Loki whispered back, leaning down to peck your lips a few times before pulling away but not going far, “I love you more than you could ever know. Knowing you, sharing our time together has been the best part of my life and it kills me that it won’t be you walking down that aisle. My heart aches when I think of agreeing to marry her when my heart belongs only to you. No matter what happens, it will always belong to you.”
You refused to cry, didn’t think you had anymore tears left in you but felt yourself choke up at his words. Loki didn’t give you a chance to react more than that before he was leaning down to kiss you again and you tried to memorise everything about it, how it was messy and hurried but soft, his hand still caressing your cheek as the other wrapped around your waist, holding you in place, the feeling of his hair running through your fingers as your other hand gripped the fabric of his clothes.
All too soon he was pulling away, letting his forward rest against yours as he looked at you, seemingly having the same idea of carving this moment into his mind, not knowing the next time you’d get to steal even a second alone together, not knowing if you ever would again once he walked out of your door.
“I have to go.” He told you apologetically and you took a breath, swallowing against the lump in your throat as you nodded. “I love you, my darling. No matter what is to come, remember that I love you.”
“I love you too.” You managed to choke out and he smiled at you sadly, leaning down for one last kiss, slow and soft and lasting for an eternity but ending too quickly.
Watching Loki leave was one of the hardest things you’d had to do until it wasn’t. How could Loki leaving be the hardest thing when the Queen called upon you and other trusted members of the palace staff to help her plan the wedding?
Here you were, broken with a shattered heart, barely holding it together only to be told you had to plan the wedding of the man you were in love with. It felt like a giant slap in the face as you were forced into the same room as the Princess, forced to watch as she giggled and twirled her hair, gushing about Loki and their future, of their love.
It took everything in you to not react, to force yourself to smile and nod, to force yourself to do as the Princess commanded, as she expected from somehow so very beneath her. You were involved in so many aspects of the wedding plans, responsible for making sure the bride was kept happy whilst you tried to block out your own feelings, feelings you would only allow yourself to feel and focus on when you were alone in your chambers, spending night after night alone instead of curled up in Loki’s arms.
You already disliked the Princess but being in her presence for most of the day actually gave you a real reason to not like her. She was, without a doubt, the most entitled person you’d ever met, always demanding something and God’s forbid something wasn’t done to her standards.
The day of the wedding finally arrived and you had seen very little of Loki. You had expected to see him quite often as you were assigned to the Princess and yet he seemed to be avoiding her, something she complained about often but you couldn’t help but smile as she ranted, a smug sense of satisfaction at knowing Loki wasn’t playing along with the wedding out of the public eye.
You walked into the room where the bridesmaids and her family were gathered in gowns that, quite frankly, were terrible. Considering the fact they were royalty you would have thought they’d be dressed impeccably and instead each person in the room wore dresses that didn’t seem right for the occasion in colours that didn’t complement them.
The Princess was yelling at one of the bridesmaids causing you to barely suppress an eye roll. You had no love for any of them, as you spent time with them you quickly realised where the Princess got her rudeness and entitlement from.
Loki deserved much better than being forced to marry her.
The Princess herself looked no better, her dress reminded you of a pastry, one of the fancy ones you’d served at many of the royal events. It seemed to swallow her small frame up, puffing out and making her look strange. Not the type of dress that would complement the suit Loki would be in at all and yet it seemed fitting for them to not complement each other, the two were so different that you couldn’t help but sigh softly, Loki shouldn’t be marrying her, she was completely the wrong girl for him but what could you do, it wasn’t like you could stop the wedding.
That thought had you tensing, standing straight as your shoulders squared back. You couldn’t stop the wedding, except you technically could. Even royal weddings asked if anybody had any reason the two should not be married and you had a whole list of them.
But you couldn’t stop a royal wedding, right?
The thought had planted itself in your head, the seed already beginning to grow until it was all you could think about and as you stood of to the side you couldn’t help but lose yourself in the daydream of actually stopping the wedding, of seeing Loki’s face when he realised he didn’t have to marry the dreadful Princess.
As the Princess snapped your name you shook your head, forcing yourself back to reality, a reality where you would never speak up, where you were not brave enough to stand up in front of the massive crowd that had already begun to gather, people from all the realms coming together for the wedding.
There was no way you could stop it.
And yet when you found yourself standing in the throne room, eyes locked on Loki as everyone waited for the bride to come out you wanted nothing more than to stop this whole event. He looked absolutely breath-taking, looking like the epitome of what a Prince should look like, the black suit lined with dark green detailing, nothing but the finest and richest fabric for the youngest Prince.
Loki’s eyes had immediately found you in the crowd and his mask slipped for a few seconds as his face filled with sadness, with sorrow and longing, looking for all the world like he’d rather be anywhere else. You wished he was anywhere else too, probably hidden away by your side. There was nothing you could do though except force a smile onto your face that probably came out much sadder than you intended, unable to put on a brave face for him.
Music filled the room and everybody rose from their seats, your eyes lingered on Loki for a second longer before you tore your gaze away to look at the Bride. She waved to the crowds and you barely refrained from rolling your eyes and you turned back to Loki just in time to catch the blink and you’d miss it smirk he threw your way.
Knowing he wished it was you in her place made watching her harder somehow, knowing that he was being forced into a marriage he didn’t want, especially when he had found the person he really did want to spend the rest of his days with. It made the idea of you speaking up more and more appealing but unfortunately that would have to remain a daydream.
Tears filled your eyes as the ceremony started, hearing their words, the Princess' eager and high pitched voice spoke of love and happiness whereas Loki kept his voice neutral, careful not to show his true feelings but not giving anyone the satisfaction of seeming happy with the situation. As he spoke words that had been written for him and approved by Odin he kept glancing at you, wishing he were standing up here with you, speaking true words of love and hope and of a future together.
“We stand before these two people today to celebrate the bond and the love they share. We witness the beginning of a long and happy future, this day their promise and commitment to each other, a promise to grow old together, to stand at each other's side forever, to help each other grow stronger. There will be challenges but nothing their love cannot overcome.”
The words of the officiant had you choking back tears and Loki allowed himself another moment of weakness as the officiant spoke of his future with Astra, let his mask fall again as he looked down, tears filling his eyes as he glanced at you. He saw you were holding it together as well as he was and wished things were different, wished some miracle would happen to get him out of this.
Gods, how he wished it were you.
You had to drown the man's words out, had to look away from the officiant, from the Princess and from Loki himself, his grief sending more pain to your heart as you tried to blink away your tears. When you glanced up you had to take a shaky breath as you met Loki’s teary gaze, the God looked miserable and heartbroken. This wasn’t what Loki deserved, he was the best person you knew, under all his posturing and defences he had the best heart of anyone you’d ever met and Odin forcing him into this made you furious.
“If there is anybody in this room that objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The officiant said and you took a sharp breath as your eyes snapped over to the man.
Loki had looked back down at this point, missing the look on your face that showed the debate you were having in your head. You only had a split moment to make a decision, stay silent and let Loki marry this girl who wanted nothing good from him, allow him to waste his days in a loveless marriage or speak now and give him the chance to leave, to come with you. Sure, it’d be embarrassing standing in front of all these people, objecting to a royal wedding but if that was the cost of Loki and your happiness then maybe it was worth it.
The only question was should you speak now or could you forever hold your peace?
Before you could even register what you were doing you were pushing yourself from your seat, gasps spread across the room as every person turned to look at you, horrified looks on each of their faces but you didn’t care, you didn’t see them.
All you saw was Loki’s head shoot up, his eyes widening as he looked over at you, the sad, grief filled look wiped from his face replaced by a weary hopefulness and you knew in that moment you had made the right decision.
“I object.” You said, more gasps spread across the room, Odin turned to look at you with a furious look whilst Frigga had a hint of a smile on her face. Loki’s face was still the only one you were focused on watching as the biggest, brightest smile spread across his face, lighting his whole being up and you couldn’t help but smile back, missing the glare from the Princess.
“I am not the type of person who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion, not even a little bit. I’m nothing more than some commoner who has no right to be standing here interrupting this wedding but Loki, you’re not the type of man who should be marrying the wrong girl.” The Princess let out an insulted noise of protest but neither of you paid her any mind, completely absorbed in each other as everyone continued to stare at you. “Don’t say yes to her, not if you don’t love her. Come with me instead, I’ll meet you at the palace doors and we can go wherever you want so long as you don’t say yes.”
The room was deathly quiet as every head turned to Loki as they waited for his response, surely he would tell this delusional fool that he loved the Princess and to have you thrown out for daring to object to the joyous occasion.
Instead Loki’s smile got even wider and everyone in the room gawked at him as he spoke.
“I won’t say yes to her, not when my heart belongs to you, not when you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my days with, the one I want to grow with. You are the only one for me. I’m so glad you were around, so unbelievably happy you were here when he said speak now. I don’t need you to meet me at the palace doors, we can leave together.” Loki said, his words causing you to grin as everyone looked between the two of you in utter disbelief, the Princess finally snapped back to herself and started protesting loudly, throwing her bouquet down and demanding Loki marry her.
Loki ignored her and walked away from the aisle, stopping as Odin grabbed his arm. There was only a moment but your heart stuttered, terrified at what Odin would do but Loki just shook him off and continued walking up the aisle. As he got to you he held a hand out and you beamed at him, taking his hand, and shuffling past the guests in your way.
All eyes were on the two of you as you left but you didn’t notice or care and the two of you radiated happiness as you walked out of the doors of the palace, only stopping when you saw Heimdall stood by a hovercraft, not looking the least bit surprised to see the two of you.
“Had a feeling you’d be needing this.” Heimdall said and you watched as Loki rolled his eyes but there was no malice behind the action and his smile stayed on.
“Of course you did.” He snarked causing Heimdall to laugh before gesturing for the two of you to get into the vehicle. “Thank you.”
“You are most welcome. I am glad you chose her.” Heimdall told him honestly, sending a wink your way causing you to laugh as you looked up at Loki who made his way to the front of the craft, ready to pilot it.
“As I am.” Loki smiled softly at you and the two of you said goodbye to the man just in time for a flood of people to leave the palace.
Loki grinned at you before getting the two of you as far away from the palace as quickly as possible. It wasn’t long before you pieced together where Loki was taking you, it was a place the two of you had found two months into seeing each other, a small cabin far from anywhere else. The place hadn’t been used for many years but you and Loki had spent many afternoons cleaning it up and many more nights there together.
You couldn’t think of a better place to start the next chapter of your life with Loki, one that you knew would be filled with all the things the officiant had spoken about, one to be filled with love and trust and happiness, one where you could grow together, to better each other and start your future together.
You were really glad you had trusted your gut and spoke up, knowing that you never would have been able to hold your peace, not when it meant robbing both you and Loki of the future you both deserved.