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Dean wasn’t a pervert. Well, not completely anyway. And he certainly wasn’t a hopeless romantic. Well, maybe a little bit. But he really wasn’t an optimist so he knew he had zero chance with Claire’s dad, Jimmy. The dude was married, the dude was straight, and the dude was his friend. But that didn’t stop him from using Jimmy’s face and hair and hands and thighs…and other bits…in his nighttime fantasies. The problem was that in Dean’s current dry spell those fantasies were starting to turn into full on dreams and they were getting hot enough that Dean was starting to feel awkward when he saw his friend. But with no end in sight to his singledom, Dean wasn’t sure how to make it stop. And finding Jimmy hunched over the cooler, perfect ass on display for everyone to see, wasn’t helping.
He grabbed Jimmy’s shoulder and said, “Hey asshat, where’s my saw?”
Jimmy turned around and wasn’t Jimmy.
“You’re not Jimmy,” Dean stated.
The man cocked his head to the side and squinted at Dean, “Really? How could you tell?” he said with the utmost sincerity.
“Uh, I’m not sure. I mean, you’re just not,” Dean trailed off, a blush heating up his cheeks.
“Well, you’re right. I’m not,” he smiled, “I’m Castiel.”
Dean stared at the man’s extended hand and suddenly pulled his own hand away, realizing it had been on Castiel’s shoulder the whole time.
“Castiel. Uncle Cas? Oh geez. How did I not know you were twins? Some friend I am. Actually, screw that. I’m going to blame this on Jimbo. He did steal my saw after all.”
“That sounds like a good idea. And who are you?”
“Oh shit, man, sorry. I’m Ben’s dad, Dean,” he said, finally shaking Uncle Cas’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Dean. I’ve heard a lot about Ben. He’s Claire’s boyfriend, right?”
“Ha, yeah. I suppose when you add the air quotes like that it’s mostly true. Not like I’m already planning their wedding or anything.” Cas gave Dean an invasive look which made him squirm. Dean was saved from embarrassing himself even more when Jimmy walked up.
“Dean! You’re finally meeting my brother!”
“Jimmy, Dean claims you stole a tool from him. Is that true? You really shouldn’t do that to friends, you know.”
“What, his saw? Ha, go to hell, Dean! Give me back my snow shovel and you’ll see your saw again!”
“Whatever man, that snow shovel is mine and you know it!”
Cas’s stare bounced from man to man until he finally butted in, “Is this some manly bonding thing you always say I don’t understand because I’m too gay, Jimmy?”
“I so don’t say that, Cas! I said you’re too socially awkward to understand. Besides, if that was the case, Dean here would only understand half of it,” Jimmy finished with a smile.
“Hey!” Dean turned a violent shade of red.
Cas’s eyes narrowed, “I was trying to make a joke while simultaneously showing that I don’t actually understand what’s happening.”
The twins smiled at each other in that way only twins can until Jimmy looked over at Dean.
“Well, I better go check on the birthday girl and make sure your son hasn’t ruined the party yet.”
“Hey! He’s a joy to be around! And Jesse’s the one you should watch out for anyway.”
“God, I forgot about him. He’s probably lighting the house on fire or something,” Jimmy wandered off in search of the devil-spawn child and Dean was left with a squinty Cas. He figured it was now or never.
“So, uh, you’re gay?”
“Yes.”
“And single,” Dean tried not to sound too hopeful.
“Yes.” A sigh of relief.
“And you’re even hotter than your brother. It must be my lucky day,” Dean grinned.
“That’s assuming I find you equally appealing.”
His grin disappeared, “Oh. You…you don’t?”
“I didn’t say that.” Now it was Cas’s turn to grin. “But are you implying you think my brother is hot? I don’t think being jealous of my own brother would be conducive to a healthy relationship.”
“Dude, you look exactly the same! If he’s hot, you’re hot! It should be a compliment.”
“Only we don’t look exactly the same.”
“Uh, have you looked in a mirror lately? Well, probably not given the state of your sex hair. Jesus, its worse than Jimmy’s.”
“But we don’t. You’re proof of that. You knew right away I wasn’t Jimmy. Even our own mother used to have trouble telling us apart.”
Dean hesitated to respond, unsure of his own feelings, unsure of how he could tell them apart. “Uh, well, I don’t know, man. I guess I can just read people. Anyway, what do you do? God, I hope it’s not something lame like your brother. Who sells radio ad time? What the hell?”
“He seems to do alright for himself. He’s happy anyway.”
“Yeah, when he’s home. His job sucks and you know it and I know it and he knows it. But back to you. What do you do?”
“I’m a veterinarian.”
“Woah. Really? That’s awesome. The opposite of lame.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
“You know, Ben’s been asking for a dog. His mom has a cat at her house but apparently that’s not enough. But dude, I really don’t want a dog. I don’t have time for a dog. You’re the expert, right? How do I let him down gently?”
“Well, I’ve heard of many parents getting a smaller animal first to show how much work pets can be and to teach some responsibility. Maybe you should try that.”
“A smaller animal, huh? Like what?”
“I’m partial to guinea pigs myself.”
“Really? Guinea pigs? Don’t they eat those things in Argentina or some shit like that?”
“Yes. But we eat cows which is sacrilegious in India so I really don’t see how that’s relevant. They’re very sweet creatures. They’re easy to care for and very affectionate.”
Dean looked dubious but then gave Cas a toothy grin, “Well, maybe I’ll look into it. Teaching Ben some responsibility can’t be a bad thing, I guess. And uh, maybe you could help me pick one out.”
Cas returned the grin and said, “Maybe I could.”