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It’s a cozy Saturday morning. We’re still lying in bed even though it's nearly 10 o’clock and definitely past time to get up.
“Hey.” he says gently.
“Hi”
“You wanna get up? I was thinking of making you waffles.”
Those words, simple as they are, make me tear up.
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah I’m great. Just thinking.“ I say, struggling to speak without my voice shaking.
“Okay”
“You know. I spent most of my life around bad men. When I was a kid, it was my dad.”
His hand snakes across the bed and into my hand.
I take a deep breath and continue onward.
“When I grew up, they were the criminals I caught. The abusers, the rapists, the drug traffickers. Bad men also became the men I dated. There were liars and cheaters.” I pause, pondering whether or not I should say the next part.
I finally blurt it out, “And abusers”
He squeezes my hand, bringing me back to reality.
“Sorry.” I laugh nervously, attempting to fill the silence.
“I know bad men. You’re not one of them. You’re a good, decent man. You always do the sweetest yet simplest things. Just now even. You’re barely even awake and you want to make me waffles, which you know are my favourite. You’re always checking in on me, making sure I’m okay. You call me beautiful even when I haven’t slept in 2 days or when my hair’s a frizzy mess.”
“I just want you to know how much I appreciate and love you.”
“Okay. I love you too.” he says, so casually. Even though we’ve been dating for quite a while now, he’s still able to give me butterflies
“You wanna make waffles now?
“Jay. Are you trying to be sweet or are you just genuinely hungry?”
“Would it be bad if I said both?
I stare at him pretending to be mad but I can’t. I finally break and start laughing.
“I’ll go get started.”
He walks out of our bedroom door. Then he pops back in, 2 seconds later just to blow me a kiss.
I sit in bed, smiling to myself. Enjoying the fact that I am living the dream I had since I was a little girl. I didn’t think this life would ever belong to me. It was a fantasy, something to give me hope in the darker moments. But now I am living that dream, that fantasy. It's my reality now.