Chapter Text
“This is a nightmare.” You declared, shutting your laptop down with frustration as you leaned back into your seat. You pressed the heels of your hands onto your eyes, pissed at yourself and the project you were working on.
You dropped your hands to your sides and then leaned forward, pressing your throbbing forehead onto the cool surface of the desk and sighed. “I’m never gonna finish this in time.” You whined. It wasn’t easy being the one who volunteered to write a report on the latest developments at the company you worked for. There were just so many things that needed to go in there, or the bosses would cut the funding on your department! No wonder no one wanted to do it, so your manager opted to make it a volunteer thing, with a bribe of half a month’s salary as a bonus.
You didn’t even need the money! But there was no backing out once you had agreed to do it. You should have asked for help. This was definitely a group project and not a one-man show.
You went to the kitchen and made yourself another cup of coffee. This was probably your fifth that day. Working on that bloody report was so boring, you kept dozing off at your desk. This time, though, you decided to add a little something to your favorite brew. You looked around the cabinets and grinned upon seeing the bottle of Bailey’s waiting to be opened. “Why, hello there.” You mumbled, grinning.
You returned to your desk with a smile on your face. Your coffee smelled nice with the addition of alcohol to it, so you started sipping it as you opened your laptop again and continued on typing.
Six hours later you were finally done. It had taken you four days to write the stupid thing. Four precious days you could have spent ogling that brooding handsome neighbour of yours who seemed to be single. He always had his morning coffee on the balcony, which was next to yours and only divided by a sorry excuse of a divider. In this case, it was a major win for you. You pretended to be reading a book or a magazine, while in reality your eyes kept drifting in his direction.
You basically only saw him in the mornings, having his coffee in silence. The most spoken words between the two of you were greetings or just curt nods. Either on the balcony or in the hallway, if you happened to leave your apartments at the same time.
The guy was tall, quite muscular. Sharp jawline and the most magnificent baby blue eyes one had ever seen on a man. His hair reached his shoulders and he always seemed to have a 5 o’clock shadow instead of being clean shaven. You kind of liked that on a man. Sure, clean shaven was nice, but nothing could beat the feel of stubbles on your skin.
You quickly shook the thought away, before it could manifest into something that involved the toys you kept in your nightstand drawer. You were exhausted and you needed sleep. The amount of caffeine in your body seemed to have lost its effect on your system, and you felt your head spinning with exhaustion.
After sending the report off to your manager, you also requested a couple of days off to recover. Not that you needed it, but after the torture you had brought upon yourself, you deserved a few days off. You’d find out in the morning whether your manager had agreed to it or not. If it was the latter, then you’d simply call in sick. There was no way you were going to work tomorrow, or even the day after.
*-*-*-*-*
Bucky tossed and turned in his makeshift bed. He couldn’t sleep that night. Nightmares kept haunting him and he was just done with it all. He looked at the clock next to the thin mattress he slept on, it was 4am. There was no point in going back to sleep. In a few hours he’ll have to get going anyway. Sam had promised to have a lead on a case they were working on and Bucky was curious what ridiculous theory his co-worker had come up with this time.
After going out for a run around the block, he came back and took a shower. He fixed himself a coffee and grabbed his phone. With the first rays of sunlight, he sat on the balcony to have his morning coffee and check on emails and messages.
It was around 6am, the sky was changing colours, the sun was rising somewhere in the horizon. Bucky couldn’t see it because of all the buildings surrounding the area. But it was still nice to be able to sit out on the balcony in peace, without worrying someone would attack him just for existing. While there were still people out there who would love to do just that, Bucky knew they weren’t bold enough to attempt doing it.
As he sat down on the single chair he had on the balcony, his first instinct was to look to the side, where his neighbour would be having her own coffee. It had been five days since he’d seen her. Usually she would be having her own coffee at around the same time he did. It had become a shared morning ritual, without even realizing it. He knew she was at home, at least in the evenings when the lights were on. But he was curious as to why did she stop going onto the balcony. He kind of liked watching her watch him and think he hadn’t noticed.
And he found himself missing it. Missing her.
A ridiculous notion, that shouldn’t have been manifested at all to begin with. Who would want to have anything to do with a damaged 105 year old, who didn’t show signs of aging? Not to mention, a former assassin who is probably still wanted in several countries across the globe. Thank goodness for Steve, the Wakandans and the Avengers in general for helping him to clear his name at least in the States. He was stuck with a court ordered psychotherapy, but it was a lesser evil kind of a deal, so he went along with it.
By 8 o’clock he had received the call from Sam. The lead he had sounded promising this time. The group they were trying to hunt down was supposed to be on the move that afternoon. It was a human trafficking case and Bucky hated those with passion. Well, mainly he hated the people behind them. The victims were at no fault there other than thinking they were going to a better life and instead ending up in a shit hole of problems and things they hadn’t even signed up for.
Despite needing to get ready for the day’s mission, Bucky couldn’t shake the need to know what happened to his neighbour. He was starting to worry for her. What if she was sick and needed help? But even so, it wasn’t like he could just go knocking on her door and ask why she hadn’t been having her coffee on the balcony for the past few days.
Or maybe he could? He looked at her empty balcony for a moment, trying to come up with a plausible excuse. Once he formulated the idea in his head, he took his empty coffee mug to the kitchen and grabbed another one and went out.
*-*-*-*-*
You heard some ringing between your ears. It was far away, but consistent enough to annoy you to the point of waking up before your body had enough rest. Once you opened your eyes, the ringing sound became much clearer and you realized it was the doorbell. You looked at the time and it was quarter past eight in the morning. You had only gone to bed around 3am and you were feeling miserable for being awake so soon.
You got out of bed and dragged yourself to answer the door, not even checking first whether you were presentable. Hell, you couldn’t even fully open your eyes! Sleep was heavily lingering in your head still and there was no way you would be doing anything other than going back to sleep after dealing with whomever it was that dared to disturb your slumber.
“It’s seriously too early for visitations.” You mumbled as you answered the door. On your half sleep state, you didn’t realize who was standing on the other side until you had the door wide open. Your handsome neighbour was standing before you, looking at you like a shocked schoolboy and you had no idea why.
As realization slowly reached your still sleepy brain that the neighbour you’ve been ogling lately was standing before you, your head quickly dropped down to your clothing. “Shit.” You mumbled, noticing all too late that you were only wearing a baggy old t-shirt. Your hand automatically went to your hair and you could feel the tangled mess it was in. “Shit!” You looked at him with wide eyes. There was only two things you could do. Brave it through, or shut the door in his face and start looking for a new place to move to.
But there was also a third option that popped into your mind. Shut the door in his face, put on some pants on and open the door again.
None of the options worked, since you couldn’t move due to sheer embarrassment of the state you were in.
Your neighbour seemed to be in shock as well, though he soon averted his gaze and started staring at the floor. If you weren’t wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole right now, you might have thought it was quite noble of him to not stare at you.
“I... I’m sorry, I must’ve come at a very bad moment.” He finally said, still looking at the floor.
“I just woke up. Uh... could you give me a second?” You gave him an apologetic smile, even though he didn’t seem to see it, because he was still looking at the floor. When he nodded, you closed the door and ran to your room, pulled on a pair of leggings, quickly brushed your hair and pulled it into a messy bun and went to open the door again. This time when you opened the door, you smiled. “Hi. Sorry about earlier.” You quickly said.
“Hi,” he replied, finally looking at you. He had the most gorgeous smile you had ever seen before. “I’m really sorry for waking you up. Didn’t know you slept in.”
“I usually don’t. Had to work late last night.” You replied with a shrug.
“Ah yeah, those I’m familiar with.” He nodded, the smile never leaving his face.
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks at the way he looked at you. Rational thought was slowly leaving your brain and you were very close to inviting him in for whatever reason. Unfortunately, the same brain was also capable of bouncing back and you were reminded of the fact that you still didn’t know why he came knocking on your door.
“Soooo... how can I help you?” You finally asked, smiling politely.
“Right.” He fidgeted a bit and raised the mug he’d apparently been holding, which you hadn’t noticed until then. “I kinda ran out of milk for my coffee and I was wondering if I could borrow some?”
See, this would have been the perfect opportunity for you to invite him in for a cup of coffee. You were tempted to do so, but your brain had other plans. “Regular milk or creamer?” You asked instead, mentally kicking yourself for not offering him a drink instead.
“Any would be good. I don’t have time to run to the store.” He shrugged, giving you an apologetic look.
You took the mug from him and went to the kitchen, leaving the door open for him this time. Bucky looked inside, though he didn’t step in. He took in the surroundings. You liked to keep things simple in the apartment, it seemed. A few shelves with decorations and plants, some books and photos. Couch and TV with a few receivers stacked under the TV table. Bucky straightened up when you returned and handed him the mug, full with milk to the brim.
“Skimmed milk, hope it’s okay.” You said.
“More than okay. Thank you so much, I owe you.” He replied. “Again, sorry for waking you up.”
“It’s nothing.” You dismissed both statements with a wave of hand. “I can go back to bed now. You have a good day today.”
“Thanks. So... I’ll see you around?” There was a hint of hope in his eyes that you noticed. It flickered for a moment and then disappeared, like he hid it on purpose.
“Yeah, I guess.” You replied.
After he left, you closed the door and went back to bed. His stupid smile seemed to be infectious, because now you couldn’t wipe your own smile off your face as you pulled the blanket over your head.
*-*-*-*-*
When you woke up next, the sun was high in the sky and was shining into your room. You checked the time, it was just past noon and you smiled at the fact that you managed to sleep in, despite the fact that you had to wake up earlier than you had planned that day.
After checking your messages and sighing in relief upon seeing your manager’s approval to your request for a few days off, you got out of bed and hit the shower. You enjoyed the warm water spraying over your exhausted body, washing away the stress of the past few days that haunted your nerves like a parasite. You were never going to volunteer to write a report for work anymore, not unless there were at least two more people doing it with you. And if the manager tried to force you or even bribe you into it, you’d make sure to pack every little piece of item you had at the office before leaving. That single report had been so stressful that it made you contemplate quitting.
Thankfully it was done and you won’t have to think about it ever again.
As you spent your day lazing around, your mind kept going to your handsome neighbour. You realized you hadn’t even asked for his name. You smiled to yourself as you figured that is a good excuse to strike up a conversation next time you saw him on the balcony, which would most likely be tomorrow morning. Despite having the day off, you’d make sure to wake up early, if even for the sake of having coffee out there and then going back to bed to catch up on sleep.
You thought yourself devious for thinking that.
Little did you know your neighbour had been watching you every morning as well.
Bucky, on the other hand, was having less than a stellar day. The mission Sam had dragged him into had turned out to be quite a mess. They were ambushed and it took them longer than usual to get the upper hand. Torres had been quite a mess with how much he kept apologizing to Bucky, who was sporting a nasty shoulder injury by the time they were done. As Bucky was rushed into the ER to get the bullet out, Torres stayed at Sam’s side, who was getting a quick stitching done to his temple.
“Listen man, I’m really sorry. We didn’t anticipate the attack.”
“Hey, Torres, stop apologizing, man. These things happen. It’s not your first rodeo and it certainly isn’t ours either. We’ve had worse.” Sam replied, wincing slightly when the medic finished stitching him up and was dressing the wound.
“Yeah, but still.”
“We were all caught off guard. And trust me, if Bucky didn’t catch that bullet with his shoulder, you’d be dead.”
“I still can’t believe he jumped in front of me.” Torres shook his head, still not believing Sargent Barnes would do that. For him, of all people.
“Then you don’t know Bucky.” Sam smiled, despite feeling exhausted. “Behind that face of steel, there’s a golden heart.” He raised a finger at Torres. “But don’t tell him I said that, or I’ll be the one killing you.” He gave him a warning look, which only made Torres grin.
“Tell him what?” He said instead.
“Good.” Sam grinned, giving Torres a pat on the shoulder. “Now let’s go see how our bionic friend is doing.” He stood up from where he was sitting at the back of the ambulance and walked to the SUV.
“I thought you guys were co-workers.” Torres said as he walked at Sam’s side.
“Don’t start nit-picking, kid.” Sam said, nudging Torres as they walked.
They soon arrived at the hospital Bucky was taken to. It was military owned, since they couldn’t risk having the Winter Soldier be treated at a public hospital, with unknown threats looming at every possible corner.
When they arrived, Bucky was still in the OR, so Sam and Torres had to wait around until they were allowed in to see him. A couple of hours later a nurse approached them, informing them the patient was awake and can receive visitors.
“You’d think they were performing a heart surgery or something.” Sam said as he walked into the room where Bucky was.
“Heart surgery takes longer.” Bucky said, his head resting against the pillow and he looked, just as he felt, tired.
“Well, you can still speak, so they must’ve done something wrong.” Sam grinned.
“I’m too high on painkillers to even answer that.” Bucky smiled, then looked at Torres. “Hey kid, you alright?”
“Yeah. Thanks again for having my back... or front in this case. And I’m really sorry...” Torres started, but was soon interrupted by Bucky.
“I’m gonna have to stop you right there.” Bucky raised his metal hand, since the flesh one was strapped against his chest. “Let’s leave it at the thank you, shall we? You’re welcome. Now, case closed.”
Torres looked from Bucky to Sam, who pursed his lips in a smile and raised an eyebrow as he gave him a side nod, silently saying ‘told you so’. Torres sighed and nodded, looking back at Bucky. “Okay.”
“Okay.” Bucky replied, then looked at Sam. “How long do I have to stay here?”
“Nurse said if things remain stable, you can leave in the morning.”
Bucky sighed, frowning a bit. He would probably miss the morning coffee, but his neighbour hadn’t been on the balcony for the past few days. Maybe you have decided not to do it anymore or something, so he figured he wouldn’t be seeing you tomorrow either. “Good enough.” He finally said, hating the way his insides squeezed. It almost felt as if suffocating, though he knew he wasn’t.
He then realized that he missed you. A neighbour he’d never really spoken to until that morning and he missed you already. Steve would have had quite a few words for him, if he was there now. For some reason, the thought of Steve meeting his neighbour brought a smile to his face. He figured the two of you would definitely get along well and would most probably gang up on him.
Sam looked at Torres with a confused look on his face, then at Bucky, who had a stupid smile on his face. “Earth to Bucky.” He said, waving a hand in front of his frien- co-worker.
Bucky playfully batted the hand away. “I’m here, dumbass.” He said in mock annoyance, but he smiled nonetheless.
“For a moment I thought you were in dreamland or something.” Sam said.
Bucky looked at Torres for a moment, which the younger man took as a hint to give them some privacy. “So, I’ve got some stuff to do. Like clean up and debriefing. I’ll send you a copy when it’s done.” He told Sam and then looked at Bucky. “Feel better soon, Sarge.”
“Don’t call me that.” Bucky shook his head, almost whining at the nickname.
“But it’s your rank!” Torres said with a shrug, grinning. “See you guys later!”
After Torres had left, Sam pulled a chair and sat down. “So I can’t call you Buck and he can’t call you Sarge. What’s next?”
“Only Steve gets to call me Buck. I told you that. And Sarge makes me feel old. I don’t need a reminder of that.”
“You are old.” Sam chuckled.
“I hate you.” Bucky closed his eyes and draped his metal arm over them.
“Hate you too, buddy.” Sam grinned. Declaring their hate for each other had become their own way of being affectionate. To an outsider, it sounded like the two genuinely hated each other. But for the both of them, it was within the same lines as tolerating and even caring for one another. But neither of them would admit it.
“So,” Sam continued, “where were you earlier?” When Bucky gave him a confused look, Sam rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. You were floating in dreamland. You had a stupid smile on your face.”
Bucky sat up, minding his throbbing shoulder. As much as he wanted to just close his eyes and sleep, at the same time he didn’t. He wanted to tell Sam. He was his fr- co-worker, after all. So sitting up was the solution.
“Remember the neighbour I told you about?”
“The one that’s got the hots on you?” Sam had never seen you before, but he had heard of you.
“That’s the one and she doesn’t have the hots on me.” Bucky glared at him.
“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“Anyway,” Bucky dismissed the comment, “she hadn’t been on the balcony for the past few days. So I went to her door.”
“Whoa, okay, hang on.” Sam shifted in his seat, sitting closer at the edge. This was big news! “You went to her door? Like actually left your apartment for something other than going on missions and grocery? You? James Buchanan Barnes? The Winter Soldier? Bucky?”
Bucky grabbed a pillow from his back and threw it at Sam’s face, who simply caught it and started laughing. “If you weren’t fresh out of surgery, I would throw this back. He said, tossing the pillow back onto the bed.
“Like you’d let something as simple as a shoulder surgery stop you.” Bucky snorted, shaking his head.
“”Dude, what do you take me for? I am a good friend!”
“Co-worker!” Bucky corrected him.
“Whatever, you know what I mean.”
“Yeah.” Bucky smiled. “So, yeah, went to her door. Apparently I woke her from sleep.”
“You didn’t!” Sam gasped. Not that it was scandalous, but in Bucky’s terms, it was inappropriate to wake someone from sleep unless it was a life or death situation. Sam had learned that the hard way.
“I did. But she was cool about it.”
“But what did you tell her the reason was you knocked on her door?”
“I ran out of milk.”
“Dude, you literally live on top of a mini-market.”
“Told her I didn’t have time to buy some.” Bucky grinned.
Sam shook his head in disbelief. “You, my man, have a crush on your neighbour.” He chuckled slightly.
“I...” Bucky looked onto his lap, his metal fingers playing with the blanket over his legs. Any other time he would deny this until he died, but either it was the pain meds coursing through him, or he was feeling comfortable enough around Sam already to confess things. “I may or may not have a crush on her.” He admitted, not able to help himself at being the tiniest bit vague about it.
“Nope. Not buying it. You totally have a crush on her. Why else would you come up with such a lame excuse of not having milk? You wanted to check on her!” Sam grinned. He wasn’t teasing. There were times to tease Bucky, and there were times, like that moment, that his friend didn’t need teasing, but more affirmation. The two of them could get on each others nerves plenty of times, but when it counted, they had each other’s back.
“I did.” Bucky smiled, feeling his neck getting warm for some reason. “She’s much more beautiful up close.” He mumbled, while feeling his heart flutter in his chest.
Sam must have noticed something, because his big grin changed to an understanding smile. “You gonna see her again? Ask her out for a coffee, maybe?”
“I don’t know.” Bucky shook his head. “I mean, I’m not even sure if she recognizes who I am. Isn’t it better to keep things the way they are, rather than ruining it and ending up possibly having to move?”
“Bucky, you know no one blames you for the Winter Soldier.” Sam said in a soft tone.
“Well, I do.” Bucky sighed.
“Then I’ve got two advices for you. First, learn to forgive yourself. You’re the only one who can do that. And second, ask her out.” Sam sat back on the chair and crossed his arms. “Do it or else I’ll go ask her out myself.”
“And risk having your neck broken? Why would you want that?” Bucky asked, giving him a quizzical look.
Sam knew the threat meant that Bucky was genuinely interested and would not have anyone else ask you out. He simply lacked the confidence at that moment. He grinned. “And since you don’t really want to break my neck, I suggest you get a move on.”
“I shouldn’t have told you anything.” Bucky sighed, shaking his head.
“You’re lucky you haven’t told Sarah anything.” Sam laughed.