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She couldn't count the amount of reasons as to why this was a bad idea. Annie couldn't even understand why she agreed to go with Armin to the carnival either, despite having stayed up most of the night trying to figure out why she agreed to go with him and why she didn't just turn him down. As she should have. There was too much tension inside of their two military branches and although Paradis and Marley liked to pretend that everything was going great, they knew better, even if the rest of the world didn't.
By the time morning came, she almost didn't make it to the train station but guilt made her travel. Armin and Annie knew better than to travel together so close to the barracks. Knowing that if anyone saw them together, on their free time, it would cause a lot of unnecessary tension for the two of them. So after she'd given him instructions the night before, she saw him out of the corner of her eyes, further down, waiting for the train. She wasn't sure if she felt glad or upset when she noticed him amongst all the other passengers, but she didn't make a move to say anything to him or even let him know she saw him.
They climbed on the train together, she more towards the front and Armin getting into the last cart. They paid their fare and sat apart and silently for the two hour long trip. the carnival would be heading into their town in the next two weeks and she had a feeling no one would travel out far for it. It should mean that Armin and herself would be somewhat safe from prying eyes but it never helped the nervous twisting in her gut go away. After the trip Annie walked within viewing distance of Armin and lead him down the many roads until she came at a stop in the fairgrounds. They hadn't seen anyone, not even in the train, so by now they felt safer. At least safe enough to stand together. "This is it. The carnival. They go around traveling during certain months of the year. It takes them a bit to set up and they're usually in each town about a week or so before moving on." She explains.
Armin is in awe, She had explained what a carnival was as best as she could when he had first asked her a couple of days ago. But being there, in front of the machinery he's never seen, hearing the screams of people, the laughter. Smelling the food and seeing everything in person was so much different than anything he could have possibly imagine. He was beyond excited and grateful that Annie had agreed to guide him here and he was sure it would be a day he never would forget. "It's amazing Annie. Far better than anything I could imagine."
"I've never really gone to one," She says with a shrug. "So it's hard to explain what's so alluring about getting on a whole bunch of rides and eating nothing but sugar drinks and snacks all day." She let out a nervous laugh, having never been on a ride before and turned to him while they approached and waited in line at a ticket booth. "Is this even safe?" She cleared her throat, nervous. "I mean it would suck to survive all we have survived just to die in the hands of some oversized faulty human made equipment."
Annie realized, with a nervous twirl of her stomach, that she was horrified at the idea of riding such thrilling rides.
"How does the tickets work?" Armin asks, reading the signs and pricing chart.
"Ah, each ride costs so many tickets. You can buy a wristband to wear that would allow you to ride as many rides as you want. if you plan on trying more than two or three that's the best way to go about it."
"We should try them all. You said you've never been. I can't imagine a better time and we've traveled so far, Annie." He had a feeling she wouldn't want to get on the rides. But decided to pay for two wristbands regardless.
"fine." She says. She could still feel the tension on her shoulders as she looked around, still feeling uncertain of being here with Armin even if they're just friends and aren't doing anything wrong. She knew both of their friend group would have a lot to say, including her commander, if the wrong person saw them together. It would be a mess but Armin seemed to believe they wouldn't run into anyone and despite Annie's best judgement, She somewhat agreed.
"You’ll be fine soldier," He turns and hands her a wristband that she accepts with a frown. He's reacting to her earlier comment now that his mind isn't occupied with trying to read her native language. "You’re not as fragile as you fear. Plus you have me, I’ll make a spectacle of myself before allowing you to fall off from one of those things.” Armin eyes drifted towards the large metal rides and watched as one zoomed downwards, screams coming from all sides of the park. Armin couldn’t help his chuckle, wondering if Annie would scream or even if he would. “It looks fairly safe, nice security and I don’t see no rides collapsing which is always a good sign. But yes, it would be a bit ironic if we went down from something like this.” Armin rolled his eyes, still not believing that they would, things like this wouldn’t exist if such things happened. There might be rare occasions of some tragedies happening but Annie and Armin should be safe. “We should be fine.” Armin smiled with reassurance, “Come on scaredy cat.” He teased and finally continued on his way towards the checkpoint, with Annie guiding him, they showed their wristbands and he allowed her to guide them into the fairgrounds.
"It's a lot bigger than I remember." She comments absentmindedly.
"When was the last time you've seen one?"
"Before Marley recruited me. My father and I would drive by one now and then and he always promised that he'd take me to one." She paused and turned to look at him. "Alright Arlert, which one should we go on first?"
He took that as a cue to drop the subject. Which he respectfully did. They came across a ride that was obviously for smaller children, but seeing as how Annie had been nervous, he decided this would be the best place to start. "How about this one."
"You're joking Armin, it's for children. I can't imagine a soldier sitting in one of those brightly colored cups would find much enjoyment."
It didn't take long for the ride to stop and it's previous occupants to vacate, leaving them able to move forward and find a seat in the overly colored metal teacups. She had protested but guided the way for him regardless.
Once he found a seat, Annie joined him. Feeling extremely awkward. the ride started up shortly and Annie laughed at how ridiculous Armin looked in the pink teacup with the backdrop and the music. "You should see your face right now."
"I honestly only mentioned this ride to see if you'd actually go through with it." He says. shifting and looking around. There was a pink tint to his cheeks that made him look absolutely adorable.
"You're a doll." Glancing around, Annie realized that in order to spin the cup, she had to maneuver the valve in the middle of the cup. Shortly after her realization, she leaned forward and did just that. With a grin, things easily got out of hand and she kept spinning it until it was the fastest spinning teacup in the ride. the momentum of the cup verses the momentum of the platform spinning made her dizzy and she tried focusing on how tortured Armin looked instead, maintaining the speed just for the hell of it.
By the end of the ride, Annie felt sick, but there was still such a childish smile on her face and an excitement that made her eyes shine in wonder as she stood up and almost toppled over. "Congratulations Armin, you survived." She was teasing him, but more proud of herself for giving this a chance and not choosing to just walk around and watch other people on the rides as she had originally thought of doing.
After a couple of more rides, chosen mainly by her on impulse, it was clear that Annie was a thrill seeker and she was a damn child about it too.
The first ride after the teacups, she felt stressed and nervous about. It had a lot of people screaming and Annie made a note to not give any reactions and instead, held tightly onto Armin's hand. At one point the ride took an unexpected dip and Annie let out a loud yelp. But once the ride was over, they teased each other and taunted and soon quickly moved to more daring rides based on simple banters of 'I bet you won't's' and 'if you need me to hold your hand because you're scared, I would.'
Annie was obviously being more taunting, but Armin never really backed down or questioned her growing excitement. She liked that. How she could be wholeheartedly herself even if she was tapping into dormant parts of who she was, enjoying the child she never got to be, even at an older age. Her yelps turned into laughs and her laughs turned into screams and soon after Annie wasn't really holding her reaction back anymore.
Armin on the other hand, struggled with the rides more. Feeling uncomfortably sick and not as thrilled as he thought he would be. Annie's enthusiasm was contagious and even when he wanted to rest, he found himself following her around from ride to ride. Treasuring the freedom of being alone with her away from the barracks.
By the time they got out of the last ride, Annie had to retie her hair up, turning around to Armin. "That sound you just made in there? You're totally never living it down." she laughed at him, kicking him lightly. Her face felt flushed in excitement and Armin in all of his glory, looked so beautiful to her right now she wanted gawked at him for a minute before regaining control of her features. "I don't want to ever be questioned on my bravery by you Arlert and it's your turn to pick now."
Armin was grinning, shaking his head and urging Annie to follow him all the way to the Ferris Wheel. “Let’s take a break from all those twists and turns.” Armin’s voice sounded a bit like a whine because really those things did a number for him and also, Armin just wanted a minute to re-center his equilibrium.
After a while of waiting, Armin and Annie were being escorted into one of the carriages, and Armin watched the man close the door before he went to make sure it was secured. He sat across from Annie, a bit nervous now at the sheer height of the ride. But throughout the day, he'd seen it take slow and it had seemed like a good idea until now.
Now that they had a moment alone, Armin was better able to reflect on the day. On how absolutely gorgeous Annie had looked when she didn't carry the expectations of her comrades on her shoulder. How they've been able to see each other in a different light. How the snacks he's bought for them on Annie's recommendation never disappointed him. Marley was a place that simply awed him and he was glad he finally, after six years of being stationed here, was getting to see more than the tall fences and the barracks.
"I'm glad." Armin says after some silence. The Farris Wheel continues to rise slowly, letting on more passengers. Annie hums in curiosity and is glad he continues after another pause of silence. "We've yet to see anyone from the barracks and today has been amazing. Thank you Annie, for agreeing to do this despite the many reasons why we shouldn't."
"It's funny. You'd think after six years the soldiers in our barracks would be more united. More willing to work together and make this alliance thrive. Yet we have to hide our friendship as if it would make us traitors to appreciate each others company." She spoke with a frown, the topic in and of itself was upsetting. For the briefest of moments, she's felt like a regular person during this trip.
"I shouldn't have brought it up. Annie, you're a rather kind person despite what others think." He grinned at the frown on her face that came from his words. "You're a good person." He reassures.
"Would I still be considered a good person if I would be looking down the sight of my gun while aiming it at the heads of one of your friends."
He wonders how she could look into his eyes while calmly saying that. He could feel the grin fall off of his face and he's sure that his face has darkened by her words because she carefully looks away. Annie was always so careful with the way she held herself and which emotions she'd allow to show. Armin has grown fond of observing her and the way the setting sun glittered in her hair and her eyes shifted downwards only showered him with remorse. "I think so," He starts but pauses to lick across his dry lips. She glances back at him as the Farris wheel starts to move at it's true potential. Her eyes shined more, as if coated with tears that she refuses to let fall, and he could almost feel her frustration. "You'll be a good person for Marley when the day comes. I'll be a good person for Paradis. We wouldn't be good for each other but maybe... We could do good for each other at the end of it all."
"I'm not understanding what you're trying to say." She says bluntly.
He laughs again. "Sometimes I wake up and wonder if this is the day that a war finally breaks out between us. I've never fallen for the unity bullshit that Marley and Paradis feeds us. I know that you know the truth too, this alliance is failing us. We're no longer together in the barracks as an attempt to unify the military and share knowledge. We're there because if a war breaks out, that's the battlefield. I'll never be able to kill you Annie but I'll kill your comrades if I have too. I know you'll do the same. Maybe this war never happens and eventually, things would get easier. Our future isn't in our hands and we'll grow tired and angry if we sit here thinking of the possibilities. But what if one day we can meet like this without worry? What if one day I can even hold your hand and only worry about what you may think and not the rest of the world? That's the future I'd rather focus on."
"To be honest, being with you has made it easy to forget about who we are and where we came from. I've not thought about the military or war until now Armin."
"To be honest, Annie, you're rather wild."
She laughs at this and kicks him in the leg. "You're someone far more tamed for how big you talk." They finally fall into a comfortable silence. Their eyes breaking from each other to glance at the sight the Farris wheel offered them. The sun was setting and the night was becoming more rowdy. This was exciting to Annie and she was sure, Armin felt that same excitement. He's never ventured out into Marley during their festivities. The music was something he's never been able to enjoy and the culture as well. She knew it was time to go back to their reality, back home to the barracks only to rise early and segregate with their own people during the two week break. She knew his people would make a trip back home by the next week. She knew he'd venture off into the carnival with his own group and enjoy it differently. But when she thought about returning, her heart fell heavy in her chest. "I didn't think I would be enjoying myself as I did today." She said honestly. "I don't want it to end, selfishly. We aren't soldiers here, just people. Two people who share the same life for once and its... Nice."
"We don't have to go back."
"We must. People will wonder where we went off too."
"Do you think they'll make the connection that we're together? I doubt it. Aside from you, our group only opens up to Bertholdt and Reiner and they've gone to their home for the break. A couple of soldiers think I went off to another town to study before returning to Paradis. If I return tomorrow or even the day after, It'll not be questioned. I have Erwin's blessing for my absence too. We don't have to end today just yet. You can show me more. I want to know more Annie. I want to be with you longer, selfishly... I..." He shakes his head and the ride comes to a stop. Their almost at the top and it will be a short while before they're let off.
"Have you ever had a Bubblenose?"
"Wat's that?"
"It's an alcoholic drink with cotton candy. The sweetness is almost like a soda. It's a dangerously strong drink. We drink it and dance until the morning. I've never been one to celebrate, but... for the sake of today..."
He's thinking about it, she can tell. The ride moves roughly and she gets startled, he laughs and she blushes. Everything was so simple when the two of them could feel like people and not soldiers. sleeping and dining together until they're ordered to kill each other. But maybe he's right and things could take a different turn. One that doesn't end in war but rather unity. "For the sake of today? I like that." He smiles and leans back. "For the sake of today. Let's be as we were in the beginning. Let's forget why this is wrong and who we are as soldiers. Let's continue being Armin Arlert and Annie Leonhart. Two different people that came together to enjoy a day at the carnival for the first time."
"I'd like that... I'd like that very much. For the sake of today, you're simply Armin Arlert. A kind man who has more to offer than he thinks he does."
"And you're Annie Leonhart. A beautiful girl who's too rough on herself. Someone I want to hold hands with and maybe... Maybe even have a future with."
"Are you sure?"
"I've been sure for some years now." He states boldly.
"Years? Armin I-"
"-For the sake of today let's not... Get into that if you don't see me like that. I respect that and I value our friendship too much to put pressure on you."
She falls silent for a bit and they're finally let out of the ride. He's not sure where she leads him until they reach a hotel. He lets her do all the speaking and is surprise when she gets a single bed room for them to spend the night. By the time they're done, a fight breaks out in the carnival and to avoid it, they head off into a bar where she orders a couple of Bubblenose' and some sweet snacks he's surprised with the flavor of. The music is loud and the men are rowdy. Some dance with women who are so exposed, Armin finds himself blushing when he looks around. He thinks it's safer to just keep his eyes on their table and on Annie, so she doesn't assume wrong.
"The bartender is absolutely past the point of no return. You don't have to worry about being checked for your ID here, I was a bit worried about it." She says, pushing the drink closer to him. "It's also okay to look around, I'm not going to think lesser of you if you find our ways of celebrating a bit..." She couldn't find the word for it, but he understood.
They cheer and take their drinks and Armin is amazed at how it taste's like pure sugar but has the burn of alcohol all at the same time. The burn makes his eyes water, he's not a drinker, and it's obvious that Annie isn't either from the way her lips pucker at the end. "It's amazing, much like the snacks here! Make's me feel thirsty if I'm being honest."
"That's how people end up drinking a bit too much without noticing. The drinks are small, but dangerous." She shrugs and gets up. She goes to order something else and Armin makes a note to pay her back later he had limited money for what he said he'd be doing. Annie doesn't seem to mind paying for everything she had paid for and he was thankful he managed to pay for their snacks and wristbands in the beginning. She comes back with six more colorful glasses and two cups of water. By the time she sits down, the bartender stumbles over to them with a couple of plates full of food he's never seen. He gives her a questionable look and she shrugs. "I figured I'd spoil you, if only for today."
He smiles and thanks her and a new song starts that causes a roar of cheer break throughout the bar. A choir of singing follows along and Armin could barely understand their native language enough to catch the gist of what the song is about. A cheating wife and a murdering husband. He makes a face that makes Annie laugh. "It's a very popular song." She explains.
"I can see that."
He's tipsy before he even recognizes what's really going on. They're only three drinks in and he still has plenty of space in his stomach for more. It was tempting, but he reminded himself that he had to keep at least a semi-clear head. They hadn't been talking about much and Annie lifts her fourth drink and he easily joins her. Her cheeks are flushed now and she seemed far more relaxed than before. it's a bit of a surprise when she leans closer to him and stares him down. "What's wrong?" He askes in curiosity and slight worry.
"Nothing, Armin. I'm really happy we chose to do this and I suppose... I'd like to let you know that I'm also interested..."
He's silent for a bit before breaking out into a laugh. The face she makes is funny and he could tell she's slightly angry but the drink is getting to his head. "I'm sorry did I miss something? I'm a bit confused."
"You're tipsy, aren't you?" He nods and she laughs a bit, relaxing into her seat. "I mean... Like..." She falls silent and it takes him a bit to realize she wasn't going to finish what she started.
"Spit it out already."
"Fuck off. This place is too loud and it's getting too hot with all the dancing people. Want to go back to the hotel room and relax for a bit? There's plenty of stuff to do until early morning so we won't miss much."
He agrees with her and it takes them a couple of minutes to make it back to the hotel.
She takes off her shoes as soon as she's through the door. Armin was now having a harder time relaxing, even in his tipsy stage. Annie busied herself with looking around for a bit before turning back to him. "Would it be okay if I took a shower? I feel sticky."
"uh- ye-ye-ah go for it." She could see the blush on his face and it made her chuckle. But she goes to the bathroom without saying another word, leaving the door ajar as she undresses. She's quick to jump in and Armin is still standing by the door awkwardly so he makes a point to take off his own shoes and jacket before sitting down on one of the chairs. He was having a hard time looking at anything other than the gap in the door in hopes of seeing her. He knew better and was still struggling to not fuck up with her. Like he'd told her, he'd be okay with just her friendship and he wasn't trying to be greedy about anything else. Armin knew better, even when his heart was pounding.
"Hey Armin?"
He looked at the door, Annie was most definitely in the shower by now so he relaxed a little bit. "Yeah?"
"If you could do anything in the world what would it be?"
"Probably bring Marley and Paradis together. So I could have an honest chance with you."
"What?" He heard the curtains move and her voice became more clear. "I can't hear you."
He shook his head and moved closer to the bathroom, standing by the door. "I said: Bring both of our homes together." Annie was silent for a little bit making Armin regret bringing the topic up again. It was best if they didn't think about who they where outside of today. "What about you?" He asked after she didn't reply, wanting to break the silence.
"Go back home to my father is what I feel like I should say. But selfishly... I'd like to have one day where I don't have to question if what I'm doing is the right thing or if I'm on the wrong side. We don't talk about it... But Marley... It's not the nicest place for people like us. People who don't have a name or wealth. People who come from the wrong side of the fence. But Armin?" She pauses and continues when he hums, letting her know he's listening. "If you could do anything today, what would it be?"
He's quiet for a couple of minutes and the answer that comes to mind isn't one he's confident to say out loud. "I don't know... What about you?"
She's silent too and he's about to step away from the door thinking she won't reply when she finally does. "I'd like to be able to tell you that I'm also interested in you without worrying about how that might ruin things. I'd also... Like to ask you if you can shower with me. I'd like to be able to do things... I've never thought would be possible. Without worrying about what that would mean tomorrow because I know that no matter what I might want or what I feel... Tomorrow I have a role to play that isn't a role I'm all that interested in."
"I'd like to kiss you." He finally admits. "I'd like to be able to look at you without worrying that I'm looking too long. I'd also wouldn't mind showering with you but I fear it might be too forward of me..."
"Come shower with me?" He opens the door and comes into the bathroom. Annie pokes her head through the shower curtain and he can see her wet hair down. He stares for a bit before they both look away with an obvious red tint to their faces. "Can you turn off the lights? I don't think I'm all that brave."
He does as she asks because honestly, Armin isn't the bravest right now either. The windowless bathroom is pitch black so he allows the door to stay ajar so he could at least see the outlines of the sink and the toilet and wouldn't trip. He's always been self aware. He knows he doesn't look as strong or as built as the rest of the guys and he wonders if Annie would mind that but tries not to think too much into it. "Are you getting in or what?"
"Ye-Yeah sorry." She chuckles at his tone and he undresses carefully. He feels exposed standing naked on the other side of the shower but after a couple of seconds steps in after warning Annie. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and they both stand there awkwardly for some time before Annie offers to let him get under the water. He hasn't looked at her and he's sure she hasn't looked at him and when he nods, they try to switch places while struggling not to touch. He's thankful that the water is warm and not scolding hot and he feels as if he should do something or say something but for once his mind is blank and he can't think of anything.
"I've never kissed anyone." She says quietly, clearing her throat she adds. "You can look at me you know? If you don't want to that's fine."
Armin doesn't need a second invitation. He's never seen her hair down or wet for that matter and while trying to keep from looking further down, he focuses on the highlight of her lips and how the shadow plays perfectly with her features making her look stunningly beautiful. "You're beautiful." He says honestly before moving his hands to cover his most private parts, which are starting to harden to attention despite his efforts.
"Beautiful enough for you to kiss?"
"You're being very forward."
"And you're being awkwardly shy. Just take a good look. Stay if you like what you see or go if you don't. There's not going to be any hard feelings Armin."
"I can't see much with the lights off."
"But you can see enough with the door open."
"I'm trying to be respectful." he argues but finally leans forward to place a small kiss on her lips. She's shocked for a second and he quickly dips his head into the water and tries his best to pretend that he hadn't just done that. But his heart is beating rapidly and his body is reacting to her being so close and he wonders if he could keep holding himself back when everything he's wanted for a long time was standing in front of him, inviting him to do something he's only dreamt about. "Annie... If I'm not careful I could fall in love with you, I could want more than what we can have. I could do stubborn and foolish things tomorrow to keep you close even if people see me as a traitor."
"I don't want to be careful, Armin. I don't want to worry about tomorrow and regret tomorrow what I didn't do today. If this is my only chance, our only chance... Shouldn't we just go for it. Just this once? Get a taste of what we both obviously want even if it makes us regret? I don't know Armin, we've made it this far." Annie is the one to reach out first. She places her hands carefully on his arms and when he doesn't pull away, she moves closer bringing her hands to the nape of his neck. She leans up and kisses him so softly, it makes him gasp for air before he selfishly deepens the kiss.
He wants to taste more and without hesitation, his hands move up to pull her closer. He's licking at her lips when she squeaks in surprise, he could feel his member pressing against her leg and he's about to pull away and apologize when she shakes her head and presses closer to him. He could feel her chest against his and his hands slide up her side as he looks down at her. "I hate to be the one to do this.. But are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure." She responds solidly. He's sure the alcohol, for the most part, have dulled down in their system so he accepts her words but asks permission every time he does something until he's sure she's okay with what happens. Then he focuses on her. Learning her taste, the way she feels. He learns where she's the most sensitive, where she's ticklish. The parts she likes to be touched in and what makes her tremble like crazy. He spends all his time selfishly learning what it means to be with Annie and he feels blessed to be the one allowed to do this with her. He feels as if he could die happily next to her regardless of the consequences when she's moaning and saying his name in a tone he's never thought would possibly leave her.