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Falling in love with Spencer Reid was surprisingly easy.
Falling into his bed - not so much. It took some years full of pinning and doubting, akward glances while working together on cases and nightly talks with Garcia.
In the end it wasn't even Derek who finally found his courage. It was Spencer, who not-so-casually asked him after a long day at the Bureau if he wanted to go grab a drink with him.
Just with him.
Not the team.
Him.
Derek pretended not to see the thumbs up, the women of the team were giving him behind Spencer's back.
So that's what they did - they grabbed a drink, and then grabbed each other, because apperantly the universe had decided that it had waited enough and it was time to speed some things up.
It may not be the gentleman way, but Derek figured that he would have plenty of opportunities to do better in the future.
For now he was happy to simply lay here in Spencer's bed, slightly out of breath, wearing each others scents and marks on their skin. He was still holding Spencer's hand when he fell asleep.
First he wasn't sure what had woken him up. There was someone moving beside him, stifled moans reaching his ears.
Unfortunately they didn't sound as appealing as they had a few hours ago.
Finally he connected the distorted sounds to the man he had spent the night with.
"Spencer?" he asked sleepily, still not fully functioning.
But as a groan, cleary full with pain, was the only answer he received, the last of his drowniness disappeared.
"Spencer?" he repeated, more urgently this time, while leaning up to get a better view of him.
Which turned out not to be as easy as Spencer was currently turned away from him, arms tightly around his stomach and slightly rocking for and backwards.
"Sorry" he gasped, as Derek touched his shoulder, trying to get his attention, "Didn't mean to wake you up."
In another moment Derek would have shaked his head exaggeratedly at Spencer's familiar disgard of his own well-being for the comfort of others, but this time he was way to occupied with the panic, that was already starting to flood him.
"What's wrong?" he asked instead, gently turning Spencer's face to him, watching his expression and at the same time wanting to check if he had a fever.
Worryingly Derek couldn't even really tell, his skin being cold and clamy with sweat.
"N-nothing," Spencer tried to say, even though the stutter in his speech and his clenched jaw was betraying him.
At Derek's unrelenting stare he quickly added, "Nothing serious, anyway."
"Well, you're clearly are in pain and if you don't tell me why in the next five seconds, I'm calling an ambulance." Derek sounded harsher than he meant to be, but to be fair, having sex with Spencer just to wake up the next morning with him being in pain wasn't exactly—
Wait.
Oh no.
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
"Did hurt you? Oh God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean– I didn't–" Derek looked down in horror at his own hands. Hands, that had touched Spencer for hours in the night, had roamed around his body, delighted in having the chance to finally discover it.
Maybe too enthusiastic, too fast, too harsh…
"No!" Spencer quickly interuped him, finally looking at him for the first time, "No, I swear, you have nothing to do with it. Nothing, you hear me?" He had to stop briefly, panting as another wave of pain seemed to hit him and effectively render the effects of what he had just said.
Still, he hurried to explain further, "It's really… not so bad. I just. Uhm. This is not the first time this happend?"
"Not the first time?" Derek echoed, still not believing that last night had nothing to do with it.
"You remember the case like, three months ago? When the unsub knocked me over and I feel down hard and bruised my stomach and rips?"
Derek nodded. Of course he did. He may not have an eidetic memory, but unfortunately he remembered every occurrence Spencer had been hurt, no matter how small. And after the first shock, this one had thankfully seemed to be one of those smaller ones, even if it still didn't fail to make Derek's heart stop for a moment. Spencer had even agreed to let himself be checked out by the paramedics that had been called to the scene for the victim they had luckily managed to safe. Well, Hotch threated him with suspending him from work if he didn't, but in the end Spencer had been cleared to be okay apart from a sore left side.
Derek didn't even think about the incident yesterday, as the bruises had already long faded and Spencer didn't seemed to feel uncomfortable when he touched him there.
Therefore Derek couldn't really wrap his head around how the events from three months ago had to do with Spencer's current situation.
"I thought you were okay?" The skepticism was evident in Derek's voice, but he couldn't change it.
"I am! Well, I was. It just, ah, hurt sometimes? Like a bit?" Spencer sheepishly lowered his eyes.
"And you didn't think that you should tell somebody about it? Wait, no, don't even answer that, of course you didn't." Derek had to fight back the urge to throw his head in his hands. God, Spencer was wonderful, but the kid really needed to learn to take care of himself.
At least now Derek was here to do this job properly.
"Alright, tell me exactly what you're feeling. What can I do? How long does the pain last usually? You're sure we shouldn't go to the ER?"
It wasn't the first time Spencer had hid how hurt he actually was, so Derek was already preparing himself to call an ambulance.
"It's, it's my left abdomen and chest, mostly. It's usually not that intense," Spencer finally admitted and immediately the guilt rose up again in Derek. Even if Spencer had been in pain before they slept together, the activity certainly couldn't have helped.
"But it always just disappeared from alone after a while. So please, no hospital, they probably can't even do anything beside giving me some painkillers and I already have those here. In the kitchen, the drawer next to the fridge. Maybe you can bring me those? I'm not sure if standing up now is a good idea." Spencer grimaced and Derek wanted to continue arguing with him, at least get him to promise to go to the doctor later. But Derek figured that it would probably be easier to convince him to move, if they managed to bring down his pain-level beforehand.
So he nodded, pushing away some drenched strands from Spencer's forehead.
"Alright, I'll bring them. Just stay here, I'll be back in a minute, okay?"
His gaze lingered a moment on Spencer's face, still not quite comprehending how relaxed he had looked like just a few hours ago and how miserable now.
Then he quickly climbed out of the bed, only now realizing that he was still naked. He grabbed his short and shirt, which were lying discarded on the floor and put them on while hurrying into the kitchen.
He found the non-prescripted painkillers exactly where Spencer had said they would be, but as he saw the teabags beside them, he decided that something warm to drink maybe could help too.
So he quickly prepared a mug and then made his way back to the bedroom.
"Hey, pretty boy, I made you some tea, how about you— Spencer?"
Derek wasn't even away for five minutes but somehow Spencer still looked way worse. He hadn't moved from his position, but he was shaking violently and the last bit of color had left his face.
"Hey, Spencer, can you hear me?"
He couldn't remember putting the mug down but the next second he was by Spencer's side, trying to get some reaction of him.
But Spencer only vaguely looked at him with wide, unfocused eyes.
"Fuck," Derek cursed, especially as he pressed his fingers against his wrist and felt the erratic, fast puls. He patted down his pants in search for his phone and had to type in his code three times, before he got it right, but then he was finally dialing 911.
"Pretty boy, stay with me, yeah? Come on." He's on the verge of tears, but he kept talking, first to the responder of his call, then to Spencer while they waited for the ambulance. Spencer mostly just moaned incomprehensible and seemed to struggle more and more with catching his breath, but at least he stayed conscious, even if barely so.
It killed Derek to not to be able to do anything. There was no bleeding wound to staunch, no airway to secure. All he could do, was to keep murmering encouraging words, not even sure if Spencer was able to understand him.
And then finally, finally Derek talked to the arriving paramedics, explaining to them how he had found Spencer in the morning, how the situation had escalated so quickly.
He's not sure what he said exactly, everything blurring together, but they seemed to get it. He watched them throwing concerning gazes at each other, when touching Spencer's abdomen made him cry out loudly, watched them as they carefully tried to move him on a stretcher and put a blanket on top of him, because in contrary to Derek Spencer was still not wairing his clothes.
Derek just followed them into the ambulance, grateful that nobody tried to stop him. He held Spencer hand, the same hand he had hold while slowly falling asleep. He had hoped back then that he wasn't already dreaming. Now all he hoped for was the opposite.
Explaining to his boss that he probably fucked his co-worker into the hospital was as pleasent as one would imagine.
But Derek had no choice but to call Hotch, especially since he still was Reid's emergency contact and therefore the only one the doctor would give infos to.
Derek had been quickly chased away after they had arrived at the hospital, one of the doctors on call taking over as soon as they had left the ambulance.
Derek didn't even kow what exactly was wrong - just that apparently Spencer had been wheeled away for an emergency surgery.
So now he sat there, waiting with Hotch, who had arrived mearly minutes after his call, both anxiously looking at the door.
Finally a doctor appeared, looking into the room. "Family of Spencer Reid?"
Derek and Hotch immediately stood up and Hotch showed her his identification. After she confirmed it, she took them to a private room and began to explain.
"Mr. Reid—"
"Dr. Reid," Derek and Hotch interrupted her together.
"Right, Dr. Reid", she corrected herself. "First of all, the surgery went well. Dr. Reid is currently in the ICU, but mainly for observation and he'll probably be awake and alert if you want to visit him later.
After he was admitted we made a sonogram, where we discovered that he had internal bleeding. We had to get him into surgery to find the source of it and discovered that his spleen was ruptured. To my knowledge he received blunt force trauma to the area around three months ago?"
"Yes, he took a hard fall. He told me that he had experienced some pain in the last weeks, which would come and go," Derek answered.
The doctor nodded thoughtfully. "This is probably a case of a stage two spleen rupture. Basically the spleen was damaged during the initial fall, but since the capsule of the spleen was still intact, the blood stayed inside. It it's likely that the tear was getting bigger and bigger over the time until the pressure got too much. Three months are an unusual long time for that, but not unheard from.
It looked very tough for a moment, but since the spleen was not completely ruptured fortunately we were able to stop the bleeding without having to remove the spleen and Dr. Reid is likely to make a whole recovery. Still, this was not a small operation and it's very important that he takes it easy the next weeks. For now he's getting medicaments, fluids and non-narcotic painkillers, like requested, through an IV and we'll discuss the further details directly with him. Do you have any questions for now?"
Hotch shook his head, clearly eager to go and see Spencer for himself.
But there was something, that Derek couldn't just ignore.
"Yes, I… well, more like we… we slept together. Like, a few hours before this happend. And he was, well, uhm, under me? I mean, he was leaning over the edge of the bed, and I'm so sorry, that's probably way to much information, but you were talking about pressure and I need to know — did I cause that?" Derek was clenching his hands, the thought of hurting Spencer, no matter how accidently, tasting like poison in his mouth.
He could feel Hotch's pitied gaze on him and didn't even have it in him to feel mortified that his boss now knew more about his sex-life than he ever would have imagined.
"I'm not going to lie to you, it is possible that those activities played a role," the Doctor began carefully, "But certainly not the only one. The damage to Dr. Reid's spleen was already done and it would have happend sooner or later. So instead you should be thankful that you were there with him and able to inform us, because I'm afraid otherwise we would have another conversation. I can assure you that you saved Dr. Reid's life."
The doctor gave him a warm smile and Derek tried to return it despite the tight feeling in his chest.
"Alright, if you have no further question, I can take one of you to the ICU, since there is only one visitor at the same time allowed. Who would like to go first?"
Everything in Derek screamed to jump up and run to Spencer, but he forced himself to look at Hotch, knowing how much the older man cared for him.
But Hotch was already shaking his head. "You can go first. I know you need it. And you can prepare him for the yelling he's getting for hiding his pain from us again, alright?" Hotch put his hand on Derek's shoulder, a not quite familiar but much appreciated gesture.
Derek nodded thankfully and stood up, following the Doctor to the room Spencer was currently in. As they reached the door she told him that she would come by later and left him.
Taking a moment to compose himself he opened the door, his eyes immediately landing on Spencer's form in the white hospital bed.
Like the Doctor had predicted, Spencer was already awake and began to rose up as he heard the opening door, a small sound of discomfort escaping him.
"Hey, hey, easy there pretty boy." Derek hurried to his side and helped him to sit up a bit. Spencer closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on letting the new wave of pain pass. But as soon as he got it under control, he opened them again.
"Derek." He sounded surprised. "You're here."
"Of course I'm here. Where else should I be?" Derek desperately took in his complexion, not quite ready to believe that everything would be fine now. It wasn't until now, standing here and seeing Spencer's clearly tired but wonderfull alive face, that the shook of what had happend settled in.
And before Derek knew it, he was sobbing.
Spencer immediately paniced, grasping with his needle-free hand Derek's shirt. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to witness that, please don't cry," he said, looking at him with wide eyes.
"No, no, don't apologize." Derek tried to stop the tears, but now that they had started to flow, he just couldn't do anything against them. "I'm just… so glad you're alive."
"I'm glad, too," Spencer answered sheepishly. "But to be honest, I don't even really know what happend."
Derek gave him a quick summary of what the Doctor had said, well knowing how much it disturbed Spencer to have missing information.
"I'm leaving the whole scolding to Hotch, but only because he's scarier than me, but honestly Spencer - how many incidents do you need to understand that hiding your problems is never a good idea?" Derek said afterwards.
Spencer at least had the decency to look guilty. "To be fair, about 85% of the cases of second stage spleen rupture don't get caught beforehand since the symptoms are quite similar to other abdominal problems," he still couldn't resist to explain.
Derek raised his eyebrows. "You well know that your statistics won't save you this time."
"Worth a try." Spencer sighed, leaning back into his pillow, already begining to feel drowsy again.
Derek smiled down at him, carefully cupping his cheek in his hand.
"You really gave me a scare", he said, not accusing but full of worry. Scared to lose the man that more than anything had been his best friends for so many years.
"I'm so sorry," Spencer apologized again, "Not just… for the nearly dying on you thing. But also for ruining our… our first night. It was so perfect and I—"
Eventhough he was tired, sore and didn't want to move, Spencer anxiously picked at the plaster that was securing the needle to his skin.
"No, none of that. Please. Pretty boy, look at me." Derek waited until Spencer finally met his eyes. "You didn't ruin anything, alright? You're going to be okay and that's the only thing that matters to me."
"So you would give me a try… for another night?" As soon as he said those words, Spencer's face turned into a deep shade of red.
Derek laughed. "Gladly. After you recover, of course. And as long as you're not hidding any other damaged organs from me?"
"Mhh", Spencer mused, "My heart may be missing."
He immediately froze up and looked at Derek horrified. "Oh God, I didn't really say that, did I? I swear, they are giving me some drugs here, you sure you told them about the no narcotics? I will absolutely kill you if you tell Garcia or JJ about this. No, you know what? I will never hear the end of this, just kill me. Oh, wait, that's too soon, no, no dying today. Derek, stop laughing! Help me to shut up!"
Derek laughed just more, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
He had some ideas how he would manage that.