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Six truly wondered if she was lost.
It had been a while since she had checked where she was in relation to something, be it a landmark or the position of the Sun and that had been a sloppy mistake that she knew how to avoid.
But then again, it wasn’t like she knew where she was going.
She didn’t have a destination in mind, not really anyway. The map she had found aboard the Maw was too big to carry with her and as such she had been forced to memorize it to the best of her ability to seek her way forward. The destination she had decided on from the map was a city on the eastern side of the world, nearly opposite the Pale city.
Six had felt going to another city despite how dangerous it could be was the best choice at the moment. Living in the wilderness offered its own set of upsides to be sure, but there were also a lot of things that could only be found in the city and food was often easier to come by. It was certainly more dangerous, but Six knew she could handle it and in her mind, it was better than staying in the Maw.
The Maw...
It had been a good few months since she had left that iron-clad ship and yet the memories from what she had experienced there were still vivid in her mind. To some that had lived on the ship, it might appear to be the best choice to stay. The Maw was cruel to be sure, but the chaos of the mainland was a completely different beast to the Maw and as such would seem the better of the choices.
If not for two things.
One, Six was someone who considered staying in one place undesirable, it brought a sense of complacency and routine that often left one open to surprises and she never wanted to be caught off guard.
Two, the Maw was not in the best of states when she left it. The Lady who ruled the vessel had been killed, brought low by her own vanity and left to rot on the floor. The Maw would no doubt fall into ruin from the lack of leadership and when Six had left she had already seen some chaos emerge from it.
There was also the matter of leaving behind what she had done on that vessel. Six was someone who often considered any means necessary if they meant survival, but even she drew lines somewhere, if only because she knew what it could lead to. She still remembered the terrible hunger that threatened to consume her and her mind becoming nothing more than instinct as she searched for something to eat. Her body searched and searched until it found something and made her rip into it with reckless abandon.
Only after had she realized that the ‘food’ she had found was a Nome, ripped open and dead beyond saving.
It had been a moment that shook Six with guilt and fear, the Nomes of the vessel had aided her throughout her journey and had done her no wrong, especially one Nome who had helped her come to terms with what she done to her friend.
Mono.
It had been a long time now since then, since she dropped her first real friend out of fear and preconceptions that she didn’t even know were true. She had carried around the guilt and regret without realizing it and instead considered it her hatred and anger towards the boy. It had only been aboard that dreaded ship that she had come to some sort of acceptance over what she had done. The guilt was still there though and Six doubted the unknown feeling would go away anytime soon.
Carrying around the bag of her friend properly didn’t help either, but she was too afraid to let it go. The memories were still there and Six doubted that she would ever forget them, but the idea of getting rid of the brown paper bag brought a sick feeling to her stomach.
Focus, find the way forward.
The girl shook her head, the memories were not needed right now. Instead, she settled on looking at the forest before her and deciding what to do. The path had been what she was following for a few hours now, but it had stopped abruptly at some point and she had failed to notice, now in a clearing with nothing more than grass and trees.
Six looked at the way ahead with a frown, whilst she could simply keep going in the direction she was following it wasn’t guaranteed to take her where she wanted to be. As such she would have to take a different approach to finding her way forward. Looking around, she tried to find a possible indication of which way to head and took a few steps around to find anything.
Eventually, she found something.
Well, she heard it first.
Water, running water.
Walking over to the sound, Six eventually found a small clear river coming down from the slight hill that the path was beside. Looking down the river, she noticed that it continued for a distance greater than what she could see. Whilst rivers did not always flow to the sea, Six had a good hunch that this river did and while it was certainly a few days since she had seen the ocean, she felt like the path she had followed was not that far away from it.
With a shrug, she decided to follow the river as she remembered the city from the map being near the ocean and Six knew if she could find the ocean again, she could find the way forward again.
Six walked for at least an hour following the river, the water twisting and bending around the landscape as she did, forcing her to change course at various points along her journey. Eventually, she smelled the telling sign of salt in the air, she was close.
The river bended once more before coming out to a slight incline as the trees stopped before it. Six stood out on the small edge before taking a small leap to land on the fine sand of the beach. The beach itself looked nice enough, though the darkened sky and slightly murky water didn’t help the image. Six looked around and saw that the beach was clear of anything that could impede her in the direction she needed to go, a rare occurrence.
Six began to walk in direction she needed to go, North, if the position of the Sun was any indication and if she remembered where the city was correctly. As she did however, something began to come into view on the horizon of the beach, something was beached on the sands.
She began to slow her pace as it came closer and closer, whatever it was could be bad news and Six did not want to be caught unprepared. But as it came closer she relaxed slightly, as she realized what it was.
A boat.
It was a small rowing boat, brown in colour that was darkened with age and oars that matched. The boat had clearly seen a lot of use and was now just sitting there, seemingly abandoned.
Six watched the boat from afar, internally debating whether it was worth investigating the boat or simply going around it, as there was the possibility that there was something in the boat. She looked at her pocket as she decided what to do, a sliver of the paper bag showing through and Six could already hear what he would say.
“There might be something useful, wouldn’t hurt to check right?”
Six looked back at the boat with a resigned look on her face, she hated how much her recent decisions had been made by the bag, even if they usually tended to be the correct ones. With a mental sigh, Six slowly and carefully approached the boat, making as little sound as she could on the sand. As she reached within a couple of meters of the boat she lowered herself to the ground more before she pressed herself up against it.
The surface of the boat was cold and rough, its wooden exterior providing no shortage of potential splinters. Six gave that thought no attention as she pressed her ear to the boat, trying to listen if there was anything inside the boat sleeping or simply waiting. Hearing nothing, Six took a silent breath before jumping and gripping the edge of the boat to pull herself over.
Six managed to pull herself over and landed on the seat of the boat with a soft creak from the wood. She looked around at the contents of the boat, seeing several small boxes and a footlocker in the boat. She narrowed her eyes at the footlocker, it was old, battered and green in colouration, though the sea had clearly not given the metal any favors. It looked familiar to Six, she knew it from somewher-
Her eyes widened as she remembered the locker in question.
She knew where that footlocker was from and she knew who it belonged to. This wasn’t just any random boat; it was his boat.
Six didn’t feel safe anymore, she felt watched, standing on the seat she rounded her head around the area, looking for any possible movement or sound that might indicate that he was near. She slowly backed up and jumped off the boat onto the sand below, her gaze never leaving the boat as she looked around. Then she felt something behind her, a presence that made her hair stand on end and her heart beat itself into a frenzy.
Six took one quick breath before spinning around, a familiar yet foreign power tingling in her palm as she did. She quickly looked around, seeing nothing but the sand and trees of the beach and forest in front of her. The power in her hand faded away as Six became confused, had she imagined it? Was she just that paranoid? Then her eyes widened once more as she realized the mistake she had just made.
She had taken her eyes off the boat.
Six slowly turned her head to confirm what she already knew, her body slowly following suit. Sure enough when she did, her eyes locked on to the massive form of him.
The Ferryman.
The unmistakable image of a trench coat filled her vision, concealing their entire body, the hat atop their head completing the outfit. The visage of the man before her was only completed however, by his face, or lack thereof, for the only thing that should have been there was a sagging lump of skin, its only distinguishing feature being two holes where eyes should have been.
Six simply stood still, unsure of what to do with the massive kidnapper that was simply sat in his boat, watching her. Eventually, the silence was broken by the sound of the monster in front of her leaning forward, causing the wood underneath him to creek loudly. She took a cautionary step back as he did, the power returning to her hand as she did, waiting to see what the man would do, then strike.
Instead however, the Ferryman did something that was unexpected.
He talked.
“It’s been a while hasn’t it little girl?” His voice was gravely and low, more akin to the sound of a monster that had emerged from the depths rather than any voice that any normal person could hope to produce, helped by the accent that seemed to make his words more menacing.
Six blinked from the unexpected communication from the adult, she had only heard the Ferryman speak once whilst transporting her to the Maw and even that was only him stating where he was taking her. But that didn’t mean he was suddenly friendly, far from it, as such she only narrowed her eyes in response, still holding the liquid shadow in her hand.
The Ferryman simply chuckled at her threat before leaning back into his boat and talking once more.
“I’d advise against that lassie for a couple of reasons.” He stated with amusement in his voice.
Six only tilted her head slightly at the kidnapper, her guard still up.
“One, its highly doubtful that you could kill me before I could reach ya.” He said, whilst lifting a finger.
Six’s glare didn’t budge an inch from that statement, if anything it only seemed to make it intensify, though the Ferryman continued regardless.
“Two, I ain’t even here to grab you like I did before.” He finished, lifting the next finger on his hand for emphasis.
Six stared for a couple of seconds before leaning her head forwards slightly with a stare that conveyed both incredible doubt and slight amusement. Did this monster seriously believe that she would eat his lies? The Ferryman was known by all of the kids she had encountered, especially the children in rags, as a silent kidnapper, a faceless shadow that appeared randomly to abduct kids and take them elsewhere.
Even the stories that the children in rags had told her whilst sounding like selfless actions to save them, had in reality, only been saving them when they were pushed into situations that were either death or him and Six wondered how many would have chosen the former if they knew where they would end up.
The Ferryman simply chuckled at her distrust, clearly not fazed by it or her power.
“Think about it lassie, what use would I have for taking you away? Especially since the Lady is currently sucking dirt at the moment.” He asked with an amused head tilt.
That gave Six pause, more at the latter part he had just told her rather than the question. He knew the Lady was dead? He must have returned to the Maw only to find it in chaos, though judging by his tone of voice he wasn’t particularly upset over it.
But his next question caused alarm.
“Speaking of which, how did she taste? I can’t imagine very nice, given all her constant nagging and supposed age, probably tasted like expired wine.” He asked whilst rubbing his supposed saggy chin.
Six’s eyes widened from that statement and took a cautionary step back, the shadowy power in her hand dissipating as she did. How did he know that she had killed the Lady? As far as she was aware only the children aboard the ship had any indication of what she did, had he managed to question one of them to tell him about what had happened?
The Ferryman simply laughed at her confusion. “Wondering how I know little girl? I know a lot of things about you and you killing her is just one of them.”
Six took another step back before her eyes slowly trailed in the direction she needed to go, he did say he wasn’t here for her right? Time to see if those words were trueful or whether she’d have to pull out his soul. She took a few more steps back before turning her body in the direction of the city she was headed to, her gaze not leaving the Ferryman as she did. She began walking across the sand, her head keeping the Ferryman in her line of sight, who made no apparent move against her and simply watched as she walked away. She kept walking until the kidnapper was only a sight in her peripheral vision, seemingly keeping to his words.
Until...
“Who are you running from lassie?” He spoke out, his voice losing any mirth it possessed, replaced with a tone of voice that she had never heard before.
She turned her head quickly, locking on to his faceless gaze with shimmering anger in her face.
“Nobody” Her voice filled with nothing but venom for the massive man who had probed too far.
“Really?” He replied sarcastically. “You sure ‘bout that?”
Her glare did not lessen as she forced out her reply with clenched teeth. “Yes.”
He chuckled humorlessly at her reply. “You say that with the confidence that this hasn’t happened before.”
That made Six turn her body fully around to give her full attention to him, her anger still present but now accompanied by confusion at his statement. What did he mean by this happening before?
The Ferryman stared at her confusion with an amused head tilt, clearly enjoying it.
“Like I said before little girl, I know a lot of things about you.” He started while gesturing at her. “I know everythin’ about you and the little path you followed countless times.”
Six stared at him for a couple of seconds before replying. “You know nothing about me.”
The man simply snorted at her response. “Really? Let's see then...”
“Your earliest memory is of the Nest, fancy little place ain’t it? You had no idea how you got there or who you were, only your name and even now your still not sure if it's your real name.”
Six’s eyes widened at what the kidnapper was saying, how did he-
“You lived in there for some time, before a girl in a yellow raincoat came crashing down, she created havoc in the little mansion, giving you the chance to escape before your luck ran out and you got turned into a skin doll.” He continued, despite the look of utter confusion on Six’s face.
“But then you had to help the little raincoat girl and then she almost got you killed, letting you bang on the door to be let in, but you managed to escape despite that didn’t ya?”
“Then you found the girl being chased by that spoiled little brat who lived there and despite what she did before and what was happening she tried to help you escape, so you tried to repay her in kind.”
Six kept staring at the Ferryman with widened eyes, how the hell did he know all this?
“You dropped a boulder on that spoiled brat, hoping it would save the girl, but it didn’t, did it?”
“Instead, you had to watch as she fell to the depths below leaving only her coat behind, then you left simple as that, drifting on a raft to that little forest thinking you were free.” He finished his words with a humorless chuckle.
“But all you found was another prison, one who placed you into a room with only a box to keep you company.”
“Until he rescued you.”
That was the last straw for Six as she felt the shadowy power creep up her arms, holding them threateningly towards the massive boat master.
The Ferryman simply stared at her, still seemingly unimpressed by her power despite what it could do to him.
“Struck a nerve did I?” He asked sarcastically.
“How do you know so much about me?” She hissed out, her voice filled with nothing but anger, leaving no room for the Ferryman to even consider lying to her.
The Ferryman regarded her for but a second. “Like I said before little girl, this has happened before.”
“What happened before?” She asked tiredly, her patience was running thin with the man who was making no sense.
“All of this.” He said gesturing around. “Your little journey though the Nest, your meeting with that boy, your adventure through the Pale city and your conquering of the Maw, me talking to you, you’ve done it all before countless times lassie.”
Six shook her head at the boatman's words. “You're saying I've done this all before? You must think I'm stupid to believe that.”
“How else would I know then girl?” He said with a tired sigh. “How would I know that you travelled through that city with that bag headed boy, the one who saved you from them dolls and monsters, who would give anything to see you safe.”
“The one you dropped down a bridge.”
That statement shook Six out of her anger for a second before it returned again, now more out of instinct that emotion. The Tower was a place that no one came in or went out of as far as she was aware, so how did he know about what she did to her first real friend?
“You don’t get to talk about him.”
The Ferryman laughed at her response to the mention of the boy. “Thats a bit rich isn’t it considering what you did to him? I’d imagine he probably doesn’t feel the same way at the moment, given his situation.”
Six opened her mouth to respond in kind to the Ferryman’s words before she stopped and processed what he had just said. What did he mean by ‘at the moment?’
Did that mean that...
“Where is he? She demanded.
If there was even a slim chance that he was alive...
The Ferryman simply regarded her with a silent stare.
“WHERE IS HE?” She demanded again.
The man simply moved his head in the way that one would do when rolling their eyes if they had them before replying.
“Currently I'd imagine that he’s doing what you accused him of doing when you dropped him, though he’s probably not enjoying it.”
Six blinked at the Ferrymans words, what she accused him of doing? What did he mea-
Oh.
She felt her chest ache with a familiar pain as the full weight of what both the Ferryman had said and her own justifications came back to her. She remembered what she had accused him of being, that power through his hands that she had felt and feared because of how it reminded her of him .
Now it seemed she was right, when she didn’t want to be.
Mono was him.
Six felt her arms drape to her side as the full realization of what she had learned. That drop hadn’t killed him had it? Instead, it had left him to rot inside that Tower, more than likely stewing with anger and thoughts of vengeance on his own. That made Six wonder about the man that had captured her, the Tall man in the suit, if Mono was him then did that mean that...
Oh.
The Thin man, the Tall man in the suit, her friend , had chased and captured her, because of what she had done to him. It made a kind of sense that Six did not feel comfortable with. She had seen the Thin man’s eyes when he had captured her, how they seemed to be filled with nothing but hatred and contempt for her and how similar they looked to her friends.
Six knew what she had done to him, what terrible thing she had wished upon him at that moment, but she had never wanted this . At that moment she had only wished death for him, the anger and justification of what she believed he had been and done had made her actions so. But she had learned over time that what she done to her friend was not justified, especially now with what she had just learned.
Six knew the feeling of anger and revenge, the satisfaction that it brought to see one's tormenters brought low and see them squirm. Now, she realized just what it was like to be on the receiving end of that, even if she hadn’t realized it. How long had Mono waited just to see her again? How long had he suffered in that Tower, caused by her own actions?
How long had both of them done this?
The thoughts wriggled in her head like leeches, squirming painfully, yet refusing to let go.
“How long?” She managed to squeak out pathetically.
The Ferryman replied with a questioning ‘Hmm?’
“How long has this gone on?” She clarified, her voice still meek from the revelation.
For once, the Ferryman did not laugh or chuckle, instead he simply gave a tired sigh and looked out into the distance beyond her. “Longer than I ever planned to live and then some.”
“How?” She asked, disbelief entering her voice. “How did this even happen?”
The Ferryman did not reply, instead he turned his head to look out behind him, into the vast ocean that sat in front of her. He seemed to be looking at nothing, but in reality she knew what he was looking at, not visible to the human eye, but able to be felt even here.
The Tower.
“That thing has more power than most people realize, it can shape and pull the world around it in ways that I stopped trying to understand a long time ago.” He stated.
Six made a move to speak once more, but the Ferryman cut her off before she could speak.
“And no lassie, I don’t know what it is.” He said with a shake of his saggy head. “Nobody knows what it is, not me, not that Wind in the North, not even the Mistress of the Maw knows what it is.
She gave the monster a confused look. “You knew what I was going to ask you?”
The saggy flesh of the mans face contorted into something that Six couldn’t decipher as he spoke. “Like I said before little girl, this has happened before.”
Six felt her face shift into a frown. “This exact conversation?”
The Ferryman nodded. “Aye, plenty of times before, though not always the same.” He said.
“Sometimes we chat about different things, sometimes we discuss the Maw, the city or even the boy.” He said with chuckle. “Other times you're not that type of person and instead you simply walk away from me without saying a word.”
“And other times you simply kill me immediately when you see me.” He finished with a shrug.
Six felt her eyebrow raise at that last statement, he seemed so... disinterested in his demise. But it also brought to her attention an interesting detail. “So, it's not always the same then?”
Another shake of the Ferrymans head. “No, it ain’t always the same, last time I remember you killed me by ripping my arms off.”
Six shook her own head at that statement, not remotely what she meant by her question, but still. “So then why has this...” She trailed off slightly, searching for the right word.
“Loop?” The Ferryman suggested.
“Loop” Six said, repeating the word. “Still going then? If things can change then shouldn’t it have stopped ages ago?”
The Ferryman simply shook his head again. “The details of what happen in the cycles don’t matter lassie.” He explained. “The only thing that matters are that the crucial points in each cycle are the same; you two find each other, you drop him down the Tower, he becomes the Broadcaster, you kill the Lady and disappear somewhere off the face of the Earth.”
“It doesn’t matter if you two took a slightly different route through the city or if you dropped him out of spite rather than fear or if you decided to not eat that Nome or even if you didn’t leave the Maw and decided to become the new Lady.” He explained further.
“That last one especially your quite fond of doing, though it must be awkward to find out that you ate yourself because you were hungry.” He finished with another chuckle.
Six felt slightly sick at those words, something that rarely happened to her. The idea that she had repeated so much over and over again and couldn’t remember any of it wasn’t a pleasant thought. Especially the idea of eating herself, she was glad that the Ferryman already confirmed she hadn’t done that.
But still, that left another question.
“Why haven’t YOU tried to stop it?” She asked.
The Ferryman’s sagging flesh moved to resemble what she would guess was his version of a look of sarcastic disbelief. “For two VERY good reasons little girl.”
“One, the Tower would know if anyone tried to do something to disrupt the cycles, its had decades to perfect them and would know if something changed.” He said, jamming a thumb in the direction of the Tower, before pointing it at himself.
“Two, I work for the Tower so it would know INSTANLY if I was going against it.”
Six took a step back at that revelation, he WORKED for the Tower?
Even after all it did?
The Ferryman quelled her thoughts by speaking again. “Relax, I’m hired by the Tower to simply keep an eye on ya, make sure everything goes as planned and you end up where you’re supposed to.”
She narrowed her eyes at his statement. “You don’t sound very happy about the Tower, why would you want to work for it?”
He rolled his ‘eyes’ at her question. “Because lassie if I didn’t, I get turned into another poor mindless sod like the rest of them.”
The Ferryman then reached down and the sound of the metal locker opening reached Six’s ears. He then reemerged again, holding what appeared to be a sizeable bottle of alcohol.
“And also the Tower DOES pay me in liquor that it procures from... somewhere” He added, though seemingly sounding unsure at the last part.
Six only shook her head in utter disappointment at the adult in front of her, another reason on the long list of reasons to hate them she supposed.
“Why would it need you anyway?” She questioned. “If the Tower is as powerful as it is, why would it need you to keep an eye on me, couldn’t it do that?”
The Ferryman nodded in an ‘so-so’ way. “It COULD do that, but as you have experienced before whilst the Tower can be subtle, it can’t be subtle forever.”
“The Tower could watch and follow you, but eventually you would feel its presence, that unnatural hymn, that loud buzzing of static that follows it and slowly you would diverge off the ‘path’ that it needs YOU to follow.” He explained, pointing at her for emphasis.
Six once more felt a frown coming to her face, she didn’t like how much she was involved in this cycle involving her friend.
“What does the Tower need me for?” She asked. “I don’t have powers like Mon-”
“Thats a lie and you know it little girl” The Ferryman interrupted.
Six bit her tongue to not reach out again with her shadow. “You know what I mean, I didn’t have powers then , what makes me so important?”
The Ferryman sighed. “Your important because of what you meant to the boy.”
Six blinked at that, what she meant to him?
“If the boy had just fallen into that Tower without meeting you, he would have resisted the Tower and it would have been forced to enslave rather than employ him, which it doesn’t want.” He explained.
“But because of your friendship with the boy, even if you don’t feel the same way, it messes him up bad, breaks him, makes him into nearly different person able to be used by the Tower because of his grief and anger.”
Six didn’t quite know how to respond to that, she had never realized just how much Mono had cared about her and learning now from the Ferryman didn’t help the feeling in her chest.
“You little girl are the instigator, the one who kickstarts the events into action that the Tower needs to happen’ and make it possible for it to keep its claim on the world steady and unbreakable.” He finished.
Six looked down at her own hands, the hands that had dropped the boy into the abyss and the hands that she now learned had done it countless times, along with countless other deeds.
But had she just learned?
How many times had she had this conversation with the kidnapper? How many times had she learned of her own fate and yet continued on, regardless of what she had learned? How many times had she carried the bag of her first friend, her remembrance him of personified in the shape of it and yet it did not sway her from the fate that she had both unknowingly and knowingly trapped both of them in?
The thought of the bag caused her to fish it out of her coat pocket, the paper crumpling beneath her fingers, so used and old now, yet she refused to let go. Even if part of her had managed to forgive herself for the mistake she had made, her mind did not want to let go of the memories she had created, however short their time together was.
As she did, she barely noticed the Ferrymans ‘face’ flickering into a shape she had never seen before, one she could at a guess say best resembled confusion and shock. But as quickly as it appeared, his face changed back to its normal saggy appearance.
Six held the bag in her hands and stared into its vacant eyes, did Mono know about the cycles? Did the revelation of becoming the Thin man awaken something that reminded him of every single time she had dropped him?
She didn’t like that thought.
So instead, she opted for another question.
“If you're supposed to keep me on the ‘path’. She said with air quotes. “Then doesn’t talking to me and telling me about the cycles kinda break your deal with the Tower.”
The Ferryman stared at the bag in her hands for a few seconds before replying.
“Thats what I did at first, kept myself out of the way and simply observed ya.” He started. “But after I did that for the first dozen times I got bored quickly and decided to see how close I could get before ya noticed.
“Eventually you did notice and more often than not killed me.” He explained with another shrug. “But you still kept to the path after the encounters, the Tower simply gave me a slap on the wrist next time around and I decided to keep doing it.”
“After some time, you eventually didn’t kill me on sight and we talked” He finished. “Sometimes.” He quickly added.
“So eventually you told me about the cycles?” Six asked.
The kidnapper nodded. “Aye I did, wanted to see if it would change anything, if the sudden discovery of your own fate might change ya mind.”
He chuckled.
“But it didn’t.” He revealed. “More often than not you would simply continue on as normal or even try harder to escape the Tower, always trying to escape it by heading somewhere else or into the Maw.”
“And more likely than not.” He said, whilst leaning back more in his small boat. “You’re going to do it again, just like I'm going to kidnap you again.”
Six could only look at the bag in her hands from those words. She could very much see the appeal of simply trying to escape the Tower and hide like he had said, because it was her own logic that he had spoken. Six was always a survivor, she had always placed her own safety above others, she didn’t know what drove her to, but she did.
The obvious choices were already laid out before her, the ones that she had already followed knowingly, fleeing from the Tower, trying to escape the choices she had made that damned them both.
She looked up at the massive man once more.
“Do you know what happens to me if I go to that city?”
The Ferryman shook his head. “Nay lassie, The Tower isn’t interested in what you do after you escape the Maw, so I ain’t required to.”
He then reached up to his head and removed his hat, combing through his head as if hair was there. “But if I recall correctly, you always disappear afterwards, never to be seen again.”
Six had a few guesses as to what would happen and only a few of them stuck out as favorable outcomes. Despite what the Ferryman said, it would be stupid for the Tower to simply not keep an eye on her in some fashion and Six would hazard a good guess that wherever she went it would always keep tabs on her.
She could go to the city, try her best to survive in what would be an adult-filled space with plenty of food and shelter. But she would still be running, still hiding from the past and future that was crafted for her without her consent.
Six looked down at the bag once more.
She remembered something that Mono had told her once.
Responsibility.
He had told her it was what people said their actions were, that whatever they did they had to be held accountable for, regardless of it was good or bad, they had to understand the weight of what they were doing and what they were going to do.
She remembered when she traveled with him that he had said that he had to be the ‘responsible one’ because he was older, that he had to make the decisions on where to go and what to do, even if she was pretty sure that half the time, he got them into life threating situations.
But she also remembered when she was taken by the bullies, when she was strung up like a piece of meat and left to die slowly. She remembered the sudden feeling of vertigo and pain as she fell to the hard tile floor and the sound of footsteps approaching. She remembered the hand touching her, confirming that she was alive and her nodding in response. She then remembered how he had hugged her out of nowhere, babblingly incoherently about how he had let her get taken away, how he felt ‘responsible’ for the pain she had suffered.
Six hadn’t quite got it back then, about why he had felt responsible for her pain even though he hadn’t caused it.
Now, she did.
The pain she must have inflicted onto him, onto herself, because of her own need to survive, to live through this horrid world must have been immense.
But this wasn’t surviving, was it?
Surviving meant overcoming death, defying the odds of what seemed impossible and living through the harshest of conditions to prove the world wrong. But if everything was a cycle, if everything was predetermined to ensure that you always lived, even if the world around you seemed to inflict pain and death upon you, then was it really surviving?
Six didn’t believe so.
If she went to that city, she wouldn’t be ‘living’. She would simply be another mindless drone, another viewer stuck to their screen unable to escape, another slave forced to serve a powerful Tower.
Six didn’t want that, she wanted to forge her own path, live her own life.
And perhaps, do it alongside someone, perhaps the only one, who had ever cared about her.
Six gripped the bag in her hands tight, a promise was made, one of the few she could count on one hand she had ever made.
This would end, one way or another.
Six pocketed the bag, folded neatly into the coat to prevent any more damage to it for it would serve a purpose other than to be worn. She then looked behind her once more, to the city she was once headed, taking a look at the ‘chance’ she had.
Then, she looked away.
And began walking back the way she came.
It was a long trek back to the docks, the ones she had gone to after leaving the Maw. But it would be worth the journey to get another boat and if she had to drain the life of every adult present, then she would.
The Ferryman followed her with empty sockets as she walked by him, seeming unsurprised by her actions, yet making no comment or action as she did.
Yet she did.
“Aren't you going to stop me?” Six asked, pausing her walk yet not turning her head. She heard the sound of air being forced out of his nose before he replied.
“I don’t get ‘paid’ to do that lassie, remember?” He asked with sarcasm. “I just get hired to keep an eye on ya.”
Six said nothing at his response, instead she let out a little ‘hmm’ of conformation before resuming her walk.
A walk that would take many days, even weeks to get where she needed.
But it would be worth the pain, worth the danger and worth the misery.
Six felt the paper bag in her pocket.
She would set things right, for the both of them.
He knows he should stop her.
He knows what the Tower told him, time and time again. That if anything should happen to threaten the cycle, a change so great that it would cause its great plan to become undone, that he was to intervene.
The Tower told him this every cycle, it would summon him every single time and give him the knowledge of everything he needed to know, including his past lives. Why it deemed that he should suffer the burden of knowing his multiple lives still eluded him, but if he was a guessing man, he would say it was to break him, to show him the futility of his actions and crush any thoughts he had of trying to change the loop.
It had been so long now since the beginning, he couldn’t even remember it anymore. His memories were all mashed together, snippets from previous cycles stuck together, details that should never align did in his head and the very nature of humanity became undone to him. Yet the details he wanted would never appear, his life before all this, before he was the kidnapper, the shadow who waited for the children to make their mistakes. He couldn’t remember why he even did it, he just did, a sliver of something told him to, an instinct that had been forgotten by mind but not by body and soul.
He could still remember everything else though, the face of every child he caught in every loop, the weather of every day that went by and the name of every city, street and house that he went through.
But he still couldn’t remember his name or face.
It had been a horrible realization, that one day in the seemingly endless loops that he tried to switch his face and flesh back to what it was, only to realize he couldn’t, because his mind had forgotten it. He had spent a good few hours racking his brain for something, for anything that could remind him of his past. Yet nothing came, no memories of who he was before, only a vague feeling that he was always linked to the sea, yet he knew that he wasn’t always a captain of a small rowing boat.
He couldn’t remember where the boat came from, he doubted it was from the Tower for it was always with him when the loop started. It had ferried him and the kids he took from one continent to another, each kid being important in some way to the loops, in what fashion he couldn’t say.
But he could say how important she was.
She was very important to the loops he knew that and because she was so important that meant she could change them as well. He knew the instant he had met this version of her that something was different, the way she carried herself and the bag she had held. Many versions of her cared about the boy that was true, but not like this, not enough to carry around that bag he wore, she was different, important, like the Tower always said.
He didn’t know exactly why she was important. Yes, her friendship with the boy was a deciding factor in his change to become the Broadcaster, but he never understood why it was exactly her and not someone else. The Tower would never tell him, only threaten him with pain beyond understanding for asking.
Speaking of the Tower...
He knew it wouldn’t take long for it to find out what he had done, what he had ‘failed’ to prevent. He knew what it would do to him, what terrible pains it would inflict upon him for letting it happen. He had felt it before of course, the first time he had talked to the girl the Tower had punished him, pain he had no idea existed was placed upon not only his body but soul as well, leaving scars that would haunt his existence forever.
But he didn’t care, not anymore.
The pain that he endured from the Tower was NOTHING compared to the pain of enduring these cycles. He had done and given so much, endured the tests of time that no one man should endure. He wanted for it to simply end, to finally rest. If that meant more pain had to be suffered from that foul thing, then he would gladfully endure it.
He raised the bottle of strong rum to the mouth he had made from his shifted flesh, the liquid crashing into his throat and feeling the burning in his stomach. The pain was nothing, the fire it put into him was what he sought, reminding him of the past he wanted.
He lowered the bottle and turned his head in the direction of the Tower, its infernal shape not in view but its presence still felt. It would take a couple of days at best for the Tower to know what he had done; he had some time to enjoy himself before all Hell started.
But first...
He turned his head to the sand that the girl had walked, the little footsteps she left behind still slightly visible, though the tide would claim them soon. He didn’t want to doubt her, he desperately wanted to believe that she could change the outcome of this horrible world, that he could finally rest. But part of him still did, she was still a child after all, even with those shadowy powers she had claimed long ago. Where those powers came from he wasn’t sure, he had felt them countless times and they felt old, like the earth itself.
He hoped they were enough.
With a resigned sigh he lifted the bottle in his hand, for once wishing good faith upon someone other than himself.
“Good luck, little girl.”