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Adrien: The "perfect" wingman

Summary:

Many would say that Adrien wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and dense as a brick wall. But there was someone that he could read as an “open book”. Chloé Bourgeois. And the girl in question has been making heart eyes towards someone latley. Adrien decides that it’s his time to shine, but everything doesn't go to plan.

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Many people would say that Adrien wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, that he was dense as a brick wall and a typical dumb blond. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t notice Marinette’s crush until literally 3 years later. Not at all, that was uhm… Hawkmoth’s fault? Yeah! Hawkmoth’s fault. 

Anyways, his point was that he’s actually very perspective. Especially if it was about his childhood friend. Chloé was like an open book to him.

He noticed the longing glances and heart eyes she sent towards one of their classmates. He saw her goofy and lovesick grin whenever this person did something stupid. He quickly realized that Chloé had a crush… On someone she has previously rejected, but that was like 3 years ago. Feelings can change.

Adrien wasn’t sure if she had noticed her huge crush on Kim, so he decided to talk to her about it. Say it in such a way that will hopefully not spark a stream of denial. In his plan she would admit her crush, ask Adrien to wingman and then they would get together. Best plan ever. 

Just as the bell rang for lunch, Adrien shot out of his seat and took some quick steps so he was standing in front of Chloé’s desk. Chloé looked up at him in confusion, raising an eyebrow as a silent question.

“I need to talk with you. It’ll be quick” He hurriedly said, in the corner of his eyes he saw Sabrina move as if she would also be talking with him. “In private” He added, sending a quick look the other girl’s way.

Chloé eyed him suspiciously before sighing and agreeing. Her answer prompted Adrien to grab her arm and practically drag her to the roof.

“You didn’t need to drag me here, I can walk perfectly fine myself, thank you” Chloé muttered butterly as she rubbed her wrist where Adrien had been holding her.

“Sorry! I just came to a revelazation” He said, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous manner, “About you”

“About me?” Chloé asked almost nervously.

“Yeah, but I’ll keep it a secret” He promised with a cheerful smile stretched across his face.

Chloé chewed on her lip nervously.

“And before you ask, I don’t think you’re weird or anything just because you have a crush on Kim. Sure, he’s sweaty… And uhm I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend, y’know Ondine…” He trailed off when he saw the completely blank expression across his blonde friend’s face.

“Is your brain made out of rocks?” She asked in such a way you would talk to a 5 year old, Adrien took great offence to that.

“Hey!”

“That’s what horses eat” She said dryly.

“I know-”

Chloé interrupted him with an applause, “Yay, wittle Adwien knows his animals”

Adrien pouted, “Fuck you”

His mean friend let out a gasp and placed a hand over her heart dramatically. “Who taught you such crude words, young man?”

“I- You did. Anyways, back to my point, you have a big crush on Kim and I’m here to help you solve it”

Chloé sighed and looked at him with that same look she always gave him when he explained his conspiracy theories. “I don’t have a crush on Kim”

“That’s okay, I heard that denial is the first step”

“That’s about people dying you idiot” She explained, making Adrien let out a small oh, “And I don’t know how you forgot this, but I’m a lesbian”

Adrien was quiet for a long time, searching in his brain for the moment where Chloé told him, nothing came up. “... I have no memory of you coming out to me”

“Are you stupid? It was the same day as-...” Chloé stopped talking as a flash of realization struck her, “Oh no, I forgot to actually come out to you”

He burst out into laughter, much to Chloé’s dismay. Soon he fell to the floor holding his stomach as tears formed in his eyes, not from laughter, but from Chloé punching him in the stomach.

“It’s not funny!” She yelled at him, face red with embarrassment. 

“Now who’s the stupid one?” He asked as soon as he caught his breath, damn Chloé could punch harder than some akumas.

“Still you”

“Nuh uh!”

“Okay mr. 4 years old”

“You’re mean, I don’t wanna talk with you anymore”

Chloé rolled her eyes, “Feel free to leave”

“I think I will-” Adrien began before he remembered something important, Chloé’s crush. “Wait! Since you’re a lesbian you obviously don’t have a crush on Kim, then who is it? Why do you always look so love sick during his bets with Alix- OMG ITS ALIX ISN-”

Adrien was interrupted by hands covering his mouth, making his yelling muffled. “Could you stop yelling for the whole school to hear it?” Asked Chloé in an annoyed tone. Adrien simply gave her a look and licked her hand, it worked instantly.

“Ew!” She shrieked and whiped off her hand on his t-shirt, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Don’t bully me! I have mommy and daddy issues!”

“Bitch you aint special”

Adrien rolled his eyes, “Anyways, stop distracting me from my point, I need to wingman you and Alix!”

“No way in hell” She said flatly, making him pout and bring out the kitten eyes. “Not gonna work”

But after half a minute later she gave in with a “Ugh, fine, whatever”. That didn’t make Adrien dance a victory dance, not at all, you don’t have any proof (Chloé on the other hand does, she got (almost) the whole thing on tape for blackmail).

---

This whole interaction with Chloé on the roof sparked a great interest for him to talk to Alix. To find out if she liked Chloé back or if this needed to be stopped before his childhood friend got hurt.

That’s why he approached Alix right after their art lesson, during their 40 minute long break (man those are the best).

“Oh sup Agreste, you want something from lil ol’ me?” The pink haired asked, a sly grin gliding onto her face, as if she knew what Adrien was here for.

“I need to talk to you” He said in a serious manner, furrowing his brows slightly, “About uhm… A mutual friend?”

“Alright, just lead the way sunshine child”

Adrien nodded and together they found the closest closet. Thankfully nobody was making out in it, that would’ve been embarrassing.

“So, what did you wanna talk about?” Alix asked, leaning against a wall as he turned on the lights. “Or did you bring me here to make out? No offence, but I’m not into you or men in general. Plus aren’t you dating Mari?”

Adrien blushed at the implication. “N-no! Of course not! We’re here to talk about Chloé”

“Chloé? Is she okay?”

“Yes, of course, she’s super okay. She’s nice even… Do you think she looks nice- I mean, uhm, I have some questions for you about Chloé!” He awkwardly stumbled over his own words, not noticing the snort Alix let out.

“Ask away”

“Do you like Chloé?” Adrien asked after overthinking about what he should ask. It wasn’t like Alix didn’t give him a limited amount of questions, plus he wanted to come straight (hah, not) to the point.

“Yeah, I guess, she’s a good friend… Or at least right now, she’s changed a lot” Alix answered, the same love sick grin that Chloé often had, fell onto her lips. Oh no, Alix was almost as bad as he had been before he started to date Marinette.

He racked his brain for something more to ask, something that would somehow make Alix realize that she likes Chloé. “What do you like about her then?” He settled on.

“She’s fun. She makes me laugh” Alix murmured.

Adrien remembers how Alix always had managed to make the blonde laugh during rich people gatherings when they were kids, he guessed that it never stopped.

“I like her ridiculous plans” She continued, definitely hinting at that one time during a gala when Chloé came up with a plan on how to get them alcohol (illegally obviously). “I think that she’s complicated and layered… I dunno, I guess I like that she has a good heart too. Even if it may have some cracks from the past, it’s still good”

“That’s cool” Adrien said, trying and failing to not sound smug, before mumbling to himself; “I’ve noticed you staring at her “good heart”

“What?” She asked, leaning towards him a little.

“Nothing- Anyways, this may sound super weird… But have you considered that you maybe have a crush on her?”

“Oh… I have a crush on her” Alix mumbled in realization.

HAHAH! Mission successful, he cheered internally.

“Fuck, Adrien, what am I supposed to do?” Adrien almost winched at her panic filled voice.

And Adrien had no clue on what Alix was supposed to do. Maybe he should’ve thought this whole plan out a little bit more. 

“Uhm… We find someone who’s great at romance and they’ll help you romance the shit out of her?”

“No way, nobody else can find out. Especially not Chloé!” Alix hissed, accidentally sending an icy glare Adrien’s way.

“Right” He trailed off, “Then… Then leave everything to me”

“Okay” Alix whispered before standing up fully, “I trust you”

“Thanks”

---

About a week later Chloé called him and told him that she had scheduled a “hang out” with Alix at the park that Saturday at 11:55 am. Just the two of them! They grow up so fast.

And that’s why he was currently hiding 2 meters up in one of the biggest trees in the park. A dark blue and white checkered picnic blanket was placed at the bottom of the tree along with a picnic basket.

Soon, a blushing Chloé led an oblivious Alix into his view.

“So- uhm, I thought we should have a picnic… Since it’s like noon and we're hanging out in a park and it’s a perfect day for a picni-'' Chloé started to ramble but was interrupted by Alix’s big smile and somewhat encouraging words.

“Awesome! I haven't been to a picnic in like forever, thank you” Alix grabbed Chloé’s hands in excitement, making Adrien want to do some kind of victory gesture, everything was going to plan.

“I-it’s nothing” Chloé murmured sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck, a habit she had picked up from Adrien himself.

“It’s not nothing! Now come on, I wanna know what we’re gonna eat!” 

Alix's happiness seems to rub off on Chloé, judging by the small smile that rose to her face as they sat down on each side of the basket. 

“I got the chefs to prepare the finest food for us” Chloé bragged. It made Adrien want to facepalm, it wasn’t the time for “flexing”

“Hmm” Alix hummed in thought, “Wanna know what’s cooler?”

“Sure?” 

“Cooking it yourself… Wanna learn sometime? I could teach you”

Adrien’s eyes widened, this was Chloé’s chance to score a second date (well kinda date, since both of them thought it was just a hang out). But to his horror Chloé said something about cooking for herself is disgusting and for peasants. She had screwed everything up. Alix only chuckled and said that she would eventually come around, relief filled his system with those words.

After that small bump on the road for a successful date   hang out everything went according to plan. Or, well, it was going according to plan until it wasn’t.

The ground shook and Adrien let out a cuss, Akuma. The ground shook again and the tree’s leaves rustled in the wind, everything turned colder. Probably Stormy Weather… Again. The wind picked up more and he heard the two girls under the tree start to move. He should probably climb down, but he didn’t have enough time. 

One moment he was hiding on a tree branch and the second moment he’s laying down on the ground on his side, right beside the branch he was previously sitting on. His arm was flaring with pain, such a pain that made him want to cry. 

Adrien slowly rolled over to his back and glanced down at his hurting arm. The view of his arm made him want to puke.

“Yep, that’s definitely broken” He mumbled to himself, trying to keep calm.

“Oh god” The worried voice of his childhood best friend rung out, “Adrien your arm- Alix, call an ambulance”

“On it”

Chloé lowered herself to the ground beside Adrien, taking his pale face into her hands. “Are you stupid? Why were you in that tree?”

“For love” Adrien mumbled, his consensus slowly slipping. He must’ve hit his head on his way towards the hard ground.

“For love? You dork” Chloé said lovingly, “Hey! Stay awake!”

“Noooo, I wanna sleep”

“Chlo, the ambulance is on it’s way” Alix’s voice was laid back as usual, and that calmed Adrien down.

“Do you think.. Do you think he’ll… die?” Chloé’s voice sounded broken. 

“He’ll be fine, it’s probably just a concussion and a broken arm. So don’t worry”

Chloé’s “okay” was the last thing he heard before everything went black.

---

Okay, before anyone says anything, yes that was a very stupid idea. Was it worth it though? Hell yes! He got a cool neon green cast and all his friends signed it! 

The only downside with this experience was that he was grounded for a month, but he could easily fix that by becoming Chat Noir, the one that stalks the night. He’s surprised that he wasn’t pulled out of school, but he guessed that Chloé and Nathalie had something to do with that.

Just because he broke an arm on his Chlolix mission didn’t mean he would stop. No, this was just even more fuel for him to get the two girls together.

---

So it went on with that, Adrien always accidentally crashing Alix’s and Chloe’s hang outs with bad wingmanning. Chloé was incredibly annoyed by it, but Alix on the other hand thought it was hilarious.

“You know, we should probably tell him the truth before he breaks another arm” Chloé stated before snuggling closer to Alix. They were currently cuddling on Chloé’s queen sized bed, She-ra season 3 were playing on the TV, but it was more like a background noise.

“Where’s the fun in that?” 

“It’s been three months and I would appreciate not getting our dates crashed. I mean it was fun at first but now it’s just getting annoying”

“Fine, tell him”

“I will, thanks my flower”

Alix’s face flushed. “No problem, honey” She mumbled, despite her embarrassment.

---

As she had promised Alix, Chloé talked to Adrien. She had dragged him to the school’s roof in almost the exact same way that he had dragged her there about three months ago.

“So what is this about? You’ve finally decided to ask Alix out on a real date and are now asking for my help? My biggest dream is coming true!” 

“Uhm” Chloé scratched the back of her neck, “About that…”

“Don’t tell me… You asked her out!? And she said no???”

“What? No! It’s something else, something much worse”

“Oh no, she already has a girlfriend? This should be impossible, I talked to her and she should like you back!”

“Adrien”

“Yes?” He asked, almost out of breath because he’d been rambling.

“I need you to shut the fuck up and stop overthinking so I can actually tell you something” Chloé instructed as she put her hands on Adrien’s shoulders and made him sit down on the ground.

“Okay”

“Alix and I” She hesitated, “Alix and I are dating and ha-”

“Yay!” Adrien interrupted with a dorky victory dance.

“I wasn’t done talking! Anyways” She sighed and closed her eyes, better get this done with, “We’vebeendatingforalmostayearnow”

Adrien was silent. Then there was a small “Oh”. And Chloé knew that she fucked up. Because Adrien hates secrets. He hates it when people lie to him. How could she do this to him?

“Why- why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Chloé winched at his voice. She definitely fucked up.

“I wasn’t ready” She mumbled and sat down next to him on the floor and brought him into a hug. 

“It hurts”

“I’m sorry”

“It’s fine” He lied and she saw right through it.

“It’s not, we lied to you. I know how much you hate it when people don’t tell you the whole truth” like the thing with your mother , hung in the air without either one of them needing to say it.

“I can see why you hid it from everyone, if word got out to your mother…” Both of them shuddered at the thought, “But me? You know that I would never spread your secrets”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve ignored my fears and told you… Maybe you wouldn’t have broken your arm if we told you”

“That. That was entirely Hawkmoth’s fault”

“That kinda makes me feel better. But never pull stupid shit like that again”

“I’ll only do that if you promise to at least try not keep things from me”

“Deal” They both said as they shook hands, slow grins rising to both of the blonde’s faces.

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