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It was your usual Friday, the volleyball team just finished practice and are now fixing the gym to prepare for their daily trip to Sakanoshita Market. Narita and Kinoshita we're putting back the poles in the storage room as Hinata and Kageyama race on who could wipe most of the floor in a short time. Daichi could see Ennoshita at the other side of the gym grabbing Nishinoya and Tanaka by their collars to stop the two from... dangling on the railings of the mezzanine, oh, and Asahi was there too, unfortunately getting pulled by Noya. Daichi sighs, pinching his nose bridge in frustration.
Tsukishima was neatly putting his clothes away and once he was finished, he carefully zipped closed the bag that he and Yamaguchi got one day. The younger saw matching bags once while they we're hanging out and somehow convinced the blond to agree buying it. Well of course he bought it— it was a cheaper option, Tsukishima tells himself. Plus, it made Yamaguchi happy, of course he'd buy it.
Speaking of Yamaguchi, the pinch server walks towards the blond looking a little nervous. Why? Tsukishima didn't know actually, and the fact that Yamaguchi got back from speaking to Sugawara made him even more curious.
"Hey Tsukki!"
Tsukishima raised a brow.
"I sent you this... playlist that I made." Yamaguchi says like so many times he has in the past, but he didn't act this nervous before, not even the first time he did it. Tsukishima nods before pulling out his phone and reaching for his earphones which Yamaguchi immediately stopped with a loud "NO!". Now that never happened.
"What?" He demands, not meaning to sound so harsh, Yamaguchi didn't seem to mind it though, or he didn't seem to hear too busy racking his brain with what to say after he just stopped the middle blocker.
"Listen to it... somewhere" Yamaguchi mutters under his breath, gulping before continuing, "private... please". He was full on avoiding eye contact now, looking at anywhere except for Tsukishima. It bothered and kind of hurt the taller but he didn't voice it out, only nodding before pocketing his stuff.
Alright then, he'll listen to it in a private place. If that's what Yamaguchi wants, then thats what Tsukishima will give him. Dang, he really is whipped. Tadashi completely misses the subtle smile Kei gives him.
The rest of the walk home consisted of an unusually nervous Yamaguchi talking about everything and anything. Kei wasn't able to focus much on what the other was talking about, he was too distracted with how jumpy Yamaguchi was acting. Tsukishima didn't dare voice it out though, he was more of an observant than a talkative person and he only speaks when he's sure of what he would say.
So when they reached the part of the road where they part ways, Tsukishima stops and turns to Yamaguchi who gives him a genuine smile, nervousness forgotten. Tsukishima felt his breath hitch like he does every time. He could never get sick of those smiles, those soft smiles that he likes to think that's reserved for him. And little does he know, it is. It's for him and him only.
"See you Tsukki!" Tadashi chirps and Kei couldn't hold back his smile so he does. Tsukishima doesn't voice out his farewell, he never does, but the curt nod and smile that he gives to Yamaguchi every time they part ways was always enough and even more meaningful than a simple goodbye to Yams.
Before Yamaguchi walks away, he glances at Tsukishima's pocket, suddenly remembering what was awaiting his best friend.
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Tsukishima groans as he closes his binder. He was finally done with his homework and he's free for the weekend to do whatever. It was almost two in the morning but he wasn't tired, which sucked. Tsukki glanced at his laptop where his chat with Yamaguchi was displayed. The last message was from a few hours ago and it was the playlist that Yamaguchi told him about.
"Listen to it... somewhere, private... please" Tsukishima recalls. Well his bedroom is private. The most private he's ever going to get in this household.
The blond pulls out his phone and his headphones before heading towards his bed. He plans on listening to the playlist to help him fall asleep.
Once he was comfortable, he plugged in his headphones and clicked on the playlist.
There once was a bittersweet man and they called him lemon boy.
Lemon boy - Cavetown
Tsukishima scoffed with a soft smile. He remembers Yamaguchi telling him about this song once as they went home, he remembers Yamaguchi explaining why lemon boy was him, Tsukki, and he remembers scoffing and denying his claims. Kei remembers Tadashi's laugh and he remembers the way he felt. It wasn't hard to remember, Tsukki feels it all the time when he's with Yams.
Lemon Boy and I, we're gonna live forever
Like Snufkin and little my, we'll get around wherever
It's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter boy like him
'Cause we're the bitterest boys in town
Yeah, we're the bitterest guys around
And I got myself a citrus friend
Once the song ends Tsukki realizes that he's been smiling the whole time. Butterflies were fluttering in his stomach and it didn't seem to stop. The next song plays.
I was hangin' with you and then I realized
I didn't think it was true, I was surprised
When I found out I've fallen for you
Falling for U - Peachy!, mxmtoon
Tsukishima felt his heart skip a beat. This song isn't supposed to be here... What is... What is this playlist supposed to be about anyway?
I didn't wanna believe my feelings for you
I didn't wanna believe that I could lose you
If I told you just how I felt
Tsukki can hear his heartbeat pounding loudly. He places his hand over his heart, he was never affected by these love songs but the fact that Yamaguchi himself gave this song to him made him feel really, really weird things. The song continued and Tsukishima fought the urge to smile. This was stupid, feeling these things to songs that aren't even directed at him.
I'm scared
Of telling you how I feel
Maybe it's better if I just try to conceal the truth
For me and, for you
But I'm still stuck on you, ooh, ooh
I, I'm still falling for you
For you
He scoffs again. You're not alone, he tells no one.
The next song plays and the pounding of his heart still continued to echo around him. These songs weren't just put together to form a random playlist. No, Yamaguchi thought about this. He planned, listened and added these songs in himself. Another smile threatened to spill out of Tsukishima but he wipes it away. He should list these songs down, just so he remembers.
Kei opens his notes app and starts typing.
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It's three in the morning now and Tsukishima stares at the list he's made for himself.
‣ lemon boy - Cavetown
‣ Falling for U - Peachy! ft. Mxmtoon
‣ Out of my league - Fitz and The Tantrums
‣ Cloud 9 - Beach Bunny
‣ This side of Paradise - Coyote Theory
‣ Someone to you - BANNERS
‣ Sunkissed - khai dreams
‣ Stay with me - Miki Matsubara
‣ Sofia - Clairo
‣ Habit - Louis Tomlinson
‣ Everyday - High School Musical 2
‣ Happily - One Direction
‣ Safe Place to Land - Christan Burghardt
‣ Kaleidoscope - A Great Big World
‣ Make You Mine - PUBLIC
‣ Happy Together - Gerard Way
‣ Fine By Me - Andy Grammer
‣ Illusion - One Direction
‣ I.F.L.Y - Bazzi
‣ Careless Whisper - George Micheal
‣ Mariposa - Peach Tree Rascals
‣ Like or Like Like - Miniature Tigers
‣ Marry You - Bruno Mars
‣ Can't Sleep Love - Pentatonix
‣ Dance Baby - Boy Pablo
‣ Sunflower - Rex Orange County
‣ Everything About You - One Direction
‣ Blueberry Eyes - MAX and SUGA
‣ Home - One Direction
‣ Lovebug - Jonas Brothers
‣ Catching Feelings - Justin Bieber
The last song finishes and he types it in.
‣ Best Friend - Rex Orange County
The blond scans his phone's screen and nods to himself. This wasn't just any playlist, it consisted of love songs. Now yeah sure, Tsukishima has heard a love song or two but why would Yamaguchi stop him to tell him to listen to this in a private place.
Kei waited for the next song, his finger tapping mindlessly on his screen. A few seconds passed and he figured that that was the end of the playlist, his phone would shuffle randomly and play another song. The blond was about to close his phone when static plays, followed by a voice. A voice he's all too familiar with and a voice he's grown to be fond of.
Hey Tsukki!
Tsukishima doesn't dare move.
I've uhh, heh... Did you like the playlist? I uh, handpicked them all. All the songs... for you.
The pounding in Kei's chest was even louder now and it didn't seem to stop.
And if you didn't notice, all of the songs are uhh... a groan leaves Yamaguchi's lips. Let me just get straight to the point. A pause Tsukishima Kei, I like you.
Tsukishima Kei fell off his bed, his headphones disconnecting from his phone setting it to speaker. "WHAT"
I like you. Alot actually, and not in a platonic way. And I'm much of a coward to tell you in person so uh... yeah. Well shit you know now. Oh my go- Then it ends.
Tsukishima jumps up from the floor, grabbing and staring at his phone in disbelief. Holy shit! Holy fuck! Yamaguchi likes him back. He feels like a bucket of water was splashed onto him, feels all the weight on his chest being lifted up, feels content, happy. He feels himself smile. A soft genuine smile as he realizes that that was the reason why Tadashi was so nervous. He was nervous that he would think differently of him, scared that he'd get thrown away. But no, Kei wouldn't do that, and Tadashi deserved to know.
Kei's phone shuffles, playing another song.
And did I ever get to tell you what you meant to me
And did you know that you were always like a fantasy
And are you off to see the places that were in your dreams
Yeah will you ever find yourself inside a fantasy
Fantasy - Khai Dreams
Fuck. He knows this song. Yamaguchi's gushed about it too many times for him not to and for him to save it. This song is about running out of time. Tadashi said. Person A, the one singing, wasn't able to tell their love interest how they felt and wasn't able to reciprocate person B's feelings before person B left, and person A had to deal with moving on with the fact that they weren't able to live a life where they were with the other. No, Kei doesn't want that. What he wants is Tadashi.
And did you ever find the love in you you found in me
And will I ever get the chance to be your fantasy
And will I see you down the road wherever that may be
Well if I do I'll tell you that you were my fantasy
With this, Tsukishima realizes that he wanted— no, needed, to tell Yamaguchi now, or this would bother him all night. Or he might lose him. Kei doesn't waste a second and bolts out his window, quickly exiting his house. He lost his sense of time, all that was in his mind was Tadashi, Tadashi, Tadashi.
I suppose it's nice to know
That there's so much left to go
He turns a corner.
But as seasons start to change
My feelings may start to fade
No. He doesn't want to move on, he doesn't want his feelings to go. Kei stops in the middle of an intersection, turning to where Tadashi's house is located and bolting.
But I'll never forget
Oh the ease you put me in
He doesn't want to forget the comfort he feels when he's with him. Heck, he wants that everyday.
Oh the sun will start to set
As the leaves rise in the wind
And amidst a sea of red
I'll think of the words you said
He thinks of him everyday, every single day. And Kei knows that that won't change any time soon. Everything was a blur, he was running with the need to pour his feelings.
Oh and it's hardest in the snow
Wondering which way to go
He could get lost for fucks sake, he just needs to know, to remember his way home. To Tadashi.
Though the spring will come with time
I have lost this love of mine
NO. Tsukishima stumbles but he was able to hold himself to continue running.
If it all just ends today
I think I will be okay
He won't. Kei knows he won't. He turns another corner and he stops.
But I'll always wonder if
This is how it should've been
It shouldn't. It shouldn't be like that and Kei is making sure of it. He's at the Yamaguchi residence now, catching his breath.
I'll never know
I'll never know anything
Tsukishima rushes to the side of the house, rushing past windows and rooms that aren't Tadashi's.
But wherever
You are right now
There.
I'll carry on
Kei hurries to Yamaguchi's window, the lights in his room we're open and he takes this opportunity. The blond scrambles to get the window open and when it does, he stumbles in. His phone drops to the floor and the music stops.
"Tsukki-" Yamaguchi was cut off when Tsukishima stands, looking him in the eye.
"Tadashi"
Yamaguchi felt his face flush.
"I love you"
Yamaguchi froze. Holy shit.
The shorter stood there, shocked and unresponsive, but inside he was freaking out. Too much emotions we're thrown at him he didn't know what to do. Yamaguchi meets Tsukishima's eyes again, holy fuck, the way he's looking back at him told Yamaguchi that what he said was true.
Say something Tadashi. Anything.
"Kei,"
Now it was Tsukishima's turn to flush. The way he said his name and the way it rolled off his tongue.
"Kei it's three in the morning"
"And you just confessed your love to me."
Confessed his love? Oh. Oh right, the playlist. THE PLAYLIST. Yamaguchi's eyes widened, but despite the tears pooling at his eyes, he was smiling.
Tsukishima's stomach churned, face scared to death as he rushed over, cupping Yamaguchi's cheeks in his hands to wipe away the tears. His eyes were filled with worry and concern and it was so soft. And Yams couldn't believe that this was his.
"I'm sorr-"
"Nonono!" Yamaguchi chuckles leaning in Tsukishima's hand. "I'm just... happy" He reassures, immediately putting a smile on Kei's lips as he pulls them in a hug.
"Me too 'Dashi" Kei hums, pressing a kiss on the crown of Tadashi's head making him yelp. Tsukishima lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and the two relax in the hug.
They stay like that for a bit when Kei feels Tadashi tense up.
"What?" He demands, once again not meaning to sound so harsh, he murmurs a sorry. Yamaguchi shakes his head before leaning back and looking up meeting Tsukishima's eyes.
"Can..." Yamaguchi starts, his face beet red when the taller grins in response. "Can I... can we-" Kei leans down, placing a soft kiss on Tadashi's lips effectively shutting him up.
"That," Yamaguchi nods, breathless. "More of that".
Tsukishima lets out a small chuckle before leaning back in, Yamaguchi follows grabbing the collar of Tsukishima's shirt pulling him down. They can feel their hearts beating rapidly, their breaths mingling. They smile before Yamaguchi finally closes the gap.
Holy shit. This is great. They feel so light, relieved and so, so, so happy. They've wanted this for so long and it finally happened. All of those nights full of yearning and wishing we're worth the time now that they're finally together. They finally found their other half. They're finally home.
And it's alright
Calling out for somebody to hold tonight
When you're lost, I'll find a way, and I'll be your light
You will never feel like you're alone
I'll make this feel like home
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Back in the Tsukishima household, Akiteru along with their mother stands inside the blond's empty room. The window was open and the cold dawn breeze was flowing around the room. Akiteru dashes towards his brother's laptop to find the meaning of Kei's absence.
Akiteru sees the playlist, looking at his mother before clicking it. They skim through the piece of media, stopping when they hear it.
Let me just get straight to the point. A pause Tsukishima Kei, I like you.
The two exchange knowing glances before huffing in relief. "Finally," Akiteru huffs out, making his mother laugh.