Archive of Our Own

Petrichor

Petrichor; (noun) a pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather.

Once upon a time, it wasn’t so rare to walk around and suddenly bump into someone with animal ears, a tail poking out from their trousers or from under a skirt, or horns onto their heads. Once upon a time, many years ago, it was normal to see hybrids walking confidently among humans. They were like any other human being, only having something more to them – that being physical attributes or a much more advanced sense of smell or hearing.

That had been centuries ago. When hybrids still weren’t considered as animals. When they weren’t relegated to the edge of society. When the most part of society didn’t see them as a threat, before they started to treat them differently – to the point of locking them up, torturing them, killing them.

Humans had instilled fear in hybrids, whatever kind they might be, from preys to predators, it didn’t matter. From cats to dogs, from panthers to rabbits. No matter what they were, they were considered animals in their entirety, and not just partially.

Humans erased the hybrids’ human identity.

Just like that, like it was nothing.

And with time, less and less hybrids were born. They’ve become rare, forced into hiding in most cases. Living in between humans but hiding their true nature. Covering ears, tails, claws, and horns, pretending they couldn’t hear the smallest sound or couldn’t recognize the faintest smell.

But overall, there were two types of hybrids. The ones who kept hiding, living with trauma and constantly in fear, and the ones – much luckier but also much less in number – who could grow up with humans, being totally accepted for who they were. Being taught their history, how things were and how things have become. How things were slowly but inevitably changing back to how it once was.

Jeongguk often thinks of himself as one of the luckiest. Every time he looks in the mirror, with his dark long bunny ears and his nose scrunching at the faintest smell, or when he carefully dries his bunny tail after a shower, he’s reminded of how he was adopted when he was barely a cub, growing up within humans but being taught that being how he was, was okay.

Being taught that he was special, in a way. The long fluffy ears in his hair were special. The was his nose scrunched was unique. And his tail was, as well. Him being half a rabbit, was totally okay. And that he could be confident about it, no matter what people said about it, sometimes pointing at him like he was a freak, or parting their lips – maybe surprised or in awe or just curious; at least that’s what Jeongguk likes to think whenever that happens.

Jeongguk knows he’s lucky, when the worst he’s gone through has been some light bullying in high school – and that mostly coming from two other hybrids, both older than him and both predators. He knows he’s lucky, if he thinks that the worst that can happen to him in public is being pointed at. Some chuckles, maybe, or some whispers.

But, in the end, he knows he’s okay with how he is. He knows and understands his own animal side. He’s become proud of it, with time – even if it wasn’t always easy growing up and learning he was so sensitive to smell it could hurt, sometimes. Or that any small sound made his ears twitch or perk up high on his head, so uncomfortable at first.

It is still too much, sometimes, and he still remembers how his parents used to whisper to him not to scare him, or how they tried to teach him how to focus onto one smell at a time as to not be overwhelmed.

And yet, it could be worse.

Jeongguk understands it much better one day of many others while working the usual afternoon shift at the cafè, when the first hybrid he’s seen in months – other than his best friend Jimin – steps through the door, a beanie onto his head, with close-to-white hair peaking from under it, and his gaze low on his feet, or fixed on the floor. There’s the hint of a smile on his lips, and someone talking animatedly to his side, telling a story that’s most probably the reason of the other man’s smile. But Jeongguk’s nose doesn’t scrunch up because of that smile, and his ears certainly don’t perk up because of that.

Yoongi didn’t want to go, honestly. He doesn’t necessarily love being outside more than he needs. Like, going to work or his lectures, that’s fine. Groceries, that’s also necessary. But being voluntarily surrounded by humans? Being watched like he’s a freak if only a little bit of an ear peaks from the beanie? Being pointed at, laughed at. Keeping his tail around himself under the clothes – at all times and all costs – to protect it from being pulled. He never liked the stares, has never liked not feeling safe.

The cat hybrid has never felt safe with humans. When he was only a kitten, kids used to enjoy pulling his tail and laugh while they stroked his ears in a way that maybe wanted to be gentle, and yet it wasn’t. He didn’t like how anyone seem to like making him uncomfortable. He didn’t like being pushed away, or the way some of the older kids would laugh, pointing at him, making fun of the pet.

Growing up, Yoongi had learned to deal with it in the only way that seemed logical. By hiding it. Hiding the tail, covering up his ears even when it was hot outside, even if it itched after a while. He had learned to pretend he was a human. Totally, a hundred percent human, without anything animal to his persona.

No ears, no tail. No incredible sense of smell. Not the fact that he was stealth by nature, only laughing it off awkwardly when someone got scared if Yoongi suddenly appeared behind them. And he could also pretend his intolerance to lactose was human. Sure. Humans had it, sometimes. It could be. But it wasn’t that, not at all.

He didn’t like humans. Didn’t trust them. Doesn’t like being surrounded by them – that’s why he usually goes out late in the evening or too early in the morning, when most humans are supposed to be sleeping. Yoongi is just very conscious of himself, he doesn’t want to be bullied or teased or hurt anymore. Doesn’t want to be pointed at, like an animal in the zoo.

He’s tired of it, tired of them all.

Except possibly only Namjoon.

Namjoon, who’s nudging him ever so gently with an elbow as he keeps on talking and moving his hands like a madman and laughing. Yoongi likes the sound of Namjoon’s laughter. Has liked it since the day after they met, in between being forced as roommates and tripping over an almost empty cardboard box. The younger has never made fun of him, of his beanies or of his almost-white hair. He has never made fun of his habits, just like Yoongi has never teased him about his tendency to break anything he would touch – nor the fact he would find bruises on his body from a fall he couldn’t remember.

The incredibly tall – for Yoongi at least – human was always so kind to him. Fascinated by his non-human half but never… never too much. Never pushy, never disrespectful. Namjoon is a friend, Yoongi’s best friend. Former roommate, study buddy, colleague at the music shop they both work part time. His confident. The one Yoongi likes to go to when he has a bad day. The only human he’s ever trusted enough to let them touch his ears.

It’s rare, but sometimes Yoongi even lets Namjoon pet his head, fingers combing through white fur, nails scratching so gently around his cat ears. Namjoon always ends up smiling softly, always in awe of his best friend curling up next to him like it’s natural, like it’s the easiest thing to do.

It’s evident to Jeongguk, how Yoongi doesn’t really want to be there. It’s all over his face, except for the small smile painted on his lips. Pouty, they are. Cute, like his eyes. Jeongguk could have recognized him as a hybrid from those dark eyes, if only his smell wasn’t so… so strong, to him at least.

It’s a mix of citrus and coffee, but also flowers, cotton candy and the forest. Smells like the outdoors. Like the sun and a bit like the rain, as well. Smells unequivocally of hybrid, to him. There’s something to it, something Jeongguk can’t exactly pinpoint, but it’s like his own hybrid self can recognize Yoongi as his own kind.

A different animal, but still a hybrid.

Jeongguk blinks for a moment, barely registering as Namjoon – a regular at the patisserie, the type to get his iced americano with a different syrup every week just to try them all and find his favourite – smiles between the two of them. A low chuckle leaves him when, several centimetres below, Yoongi freezes by his side. Becoming smaller, but with his eyes going wide as he takes in the young barista a few steps away.

Jeongguk’s ears are still perked up, his nose still a bit scrunched up as he gets used to the new smell. The younger notices Yoongi taking a tentative deeper breath, blinking right after as his brain, too, recognizes the other as his own kind. It must be rare for him, too, as it is for any of them. But Yoongi looks… he looks like he’s afraid. Of the people around him. Of being in the same room with another hybrid, too, probably. He looks small, close to being terrified.

Until Namjoon’s hand closes gently around his wrist, and Jeongguk smiles at the gesture as well as at the way Yoongi relaxes. The cat hybrid lets his eyes close for a moment, and when he opens them again Jeongguk tries not to gasp.

His irises look much more golden than before, more cat-like than human. They’re so- god, they’re pretty like that. And it’s only for a few moments, for as Yoongi blinks rapidly again, the gold is gone, his eyes back to being the black holes they looked like just moments before. They look darker, deeper, and not only in colour.

And it’s just as pretty, but different.

Yoongi looks embarrassed, though, fixing the beanie on his head before looking anywhere but at Jeongguk. His shoes are suddenly the most interesting thing in the cafe, and Namjoon’s voice seems soothing him enough to get through his first interaction with another hybrid in years.

By the time he has gathered the courage to look back at the bunny, Jeongguk has reluctantly gone back to work, packing up some pastries for a customer – a girl with stars in her eyes as she looks curiously at Jeongguk. At his ears, Yoongi’s mind supplies him a bit bitterly. And Yoongi, too, is looking at him. At his ears, as well. But in a different way. More like he can’t believe he has found someone a bit more like himself than anyone else.

“Joon-“, he calls in a small yet deep voice as Namjoon pays for their coffees and turns to him with a smile. Dimple popping onto his cheek. He knew. Of course, he knew. “Why are we here? And if you dare saying something about coffee, I-“.

His friend chuckles a little, before shaking his head and pushing him gently out of the queue and to a free table in a corner. A bit isolated from the others and with no windows, no view to the busy street just outside. It almost doesn’t feel as the same cafe they’ve walked in some minutes before. Feels a bit like home, only a little.

Enough to have Yoongi thinking about taking off his hat. Not doing it, of course, too many people. But thinking about it for a moment, the time it takes Namjoon to set their drinks onto the wooden table and take a sit in front of him.

“You needed to get out of your apartment. You know that”. Yoongi huffs out a breath, but nods. He knows Namjoon is right, he’s spent too much time inside lately. Too busy with assignments and his job and lectures he only half attends. Too many people, smells, voices. They’re always too close, always scaring him into thinking they’ll notice his tail or take off his beanie – maybe by accident, maybe not. “And I thought- listen, I thought you needed to see that not every hybrid is like you. I’ve talked to him a couple times, the kid is interesting”.

“You sound like someone who wants to study him”.

Namjoon laughs at that,  before taking a sip of his coffee – the usual iced americano, hazelnut syrup this time – and nodding to himself with a smile. “You know what I mean. He’s confident with his nature… and I know it’s hard for you. I’m not saying you should suddenly show up at work without your beanie”.

“That’s a bit too much, Joon-ah”, mumbles Yoongi, sipping on his own coffee and fixing the beanie on his head once again. By habit, he does it so often that Namjoon has stopped questioning it. “He looks alright… I guess”. And maybe Yoongi is blushing a little on his cheeks, the softest pink tinting the pale skin down to his neck.

Namjoon bites onto his bottom lip to stop a smile, but it is endearing to watch. It’s rare that something – or someone – can make the elder this flustered, it’s just cute to see. “Maybe you could get the refills once we’re done with these?”. Yoongi blinks slowly, eyes low for a moment, before letting his eyes wander back to the counter, to Jeongguk and his black fluffy ears. He sees them twitch a little, and his nose scrunches in the cutest way as he smiles to a customer.

Maybe I can, thinks Yoongi after another sip of coffee, only nodding slightly to Namjoon – who huffs out a laugh, louder when he tries to avoid the crumpled napkin Yoongi has just threw his direction.

“Hey, can you- can I get these refilled?”, it’s what Yoongi finds himself asking later. His voice is low, a bit hesitant, but he sees the barista’s ears quickly perk up in between his dark hair. The boy’s reaction puts a smile on his lips, even if a small one. “Hi”.

Jeongguk blinks slowly, before he’s smiling back, the force of it enough to make his nose scrunch. “Yeah, sure! I’m Jeongguk, by the way…”. He sounds a bit hesitant as well, a lot like he’s trying to test the waters, his wide eyes looking so sincere.

Yoongi doesn’t trust people. But then again, this barista smiling a bit shyly at him is not exactly a person. Jeongguk is like him. So Yoongi lets himself be hopeful, for once, when he bites onto his lips to hide a smile back at him.

“You- you are…”. Jeongguk chuckles under his breath, ears relaxing on top of his head and nose scrunching once again. Yoongi doesn’t even know him and yet, somehow, he feels so endeared it’s insane. Feels crazy, yet it also feels right. Incredibly so. “I mean, sorry, that’s pretty damn obvious…”, he mumbles, and Jeongguk smiles a bit wider, before starting refilling their drinks.

“Yeah”, the bunny hybrid says back, voice just as low, a smile painting the words that are leaving his lips. “You too”, he adds, just as obvious, purposefully to make Yoongi laugh, maybe.

And, maybe, it works.

His laugh is a small sound, only enough for human ears to catch, and Yoongi fixes his beanie right after. It seems to ground him, and Jeongguk doesn’t mind if it helps him feels safe.

“’s Yoongi”.

“Well, nice to meet you, Yoongi-ssi”. And Jeongguk really tries not to laugh when Yoongi mumbles a hyung is fine, cheeks red and tail so tight around himself. But it’s useless, and a small laugh leaves his lips anyway. “Coffee is on me, hyung”, adds the barista, pushing the drinks towards him and smiling wide enough to show his teeth. Bunny teeth, Yoongi swears he’s going to combust soon, sooner than expected.

So, that’s how it starts.

How Yoongi had been pushed – ever so gently – to Jeongguk. How they had found each other in a world with less and less hybrids every day. How Yoongi had found a way to start smiling, and so easily, sometimes only just from the way Jeongguk would scrunch his nose. (The movement small, cute, so endearing even when they barely knew one another). How Jeongguk had really started to learn how lucky he had been his whole life, when for Yoongi life had been the complete opposite.

That afternoon at the patisserie is only the first of many others.

Even with how difficult it has always been for the cat hybrid to interact with people, he can say he’s trying. Walking a couple blocks further than usual from university just to get his coffee and- it’s hard to admit, but yeah, also to see Jeongguk. It feels weird at first, not being used to have someone’s steady presence in his life except for Namjoon, but it also feels incredibly nice, from the way Jeongguk’s face lights up whenever he sees Yoongi walk through the door to the way his ears perk up at the sound of the older man’s voice. It’s nice, having someone to talk to other than Namjoon – no matter how much he loves him. It’s nice because Jeongguk doesn’t push, doesn’t insist, doesn’t ask (not once) him to remove his beanie, takes care of all the talking when Yoongi doesn’t want to. Sometimes they just stay silent, enjoying their coffees and watching people as they pass by the patisserie.

And sometimes, more and more as the weeks pass by, Jeongguk leans into Yoongi’s space. Putting their drinks on the table, or while laughing. When his shift is over, and they walk together for a couple of streets to the younger’s apartment. Yoongi does it too, unconsciously, especially in his own apartment and they end up watching a movie from the couch. Close to each other because it’s cold – or maybe not only because of that.

Yoongi blames it on the cold. Jeongguk plays with the white hair at his nape and hides a smile every time but doesn’t say a word about it.

They’re supposed to see each other for breakfast, one day before one of Yoongi’s lectures, when Jeongguk ends up waiting for a hour.

He waits, and then he has his morning shift. He calls him and doesn’t get an answer. He texts – more times than he’s ready to admit out loud – but from Yoongi is only silence. Nothing for the whole day, not a text back and not a call, Jeongguk’s own ears droopy on his head, in between his dark hair, and his leg bouncing up and down in worry.

He’s so worried that he doesn’t think when he walks from the cafè to Yoongi’s apartment after his shift, skipping a lecture because he can’t sit still. He doesn’t think, when outside it’s raining, and he hasn’t taken an umbrella. Gets soaked, doesn’t really care – not at all, even if his ears feel uncomfortable, damp with rain and heavy on his head. He’s so worried – bordering on desperate – that he calls Namjoon and blabbers about Yoongi and their breakfast date and all the texts he’s sent and the calls Yoongi has missed.

“Guk-ah. Jeongguk, breathe”. Namjoon’s voice is as gentle as ever, feels a little like he’s talking to a child, but not in a bad way. The bunny feels his own breath hitch in his throat, and his forehead creases a bit more, more worry towards Yoongi seeping in. “Come on, Jeongguk-ah”.

“But- hyung…”, he protests, but it’s weak and the distraction from the sound of the rain still falling doesn’t have him notice the sudden rustle of sheets, someone moving, someone else whispering in the background.

“Trust me, take a breath”, repeats Namjoon after a second, moving the phone from one ear to the other, fingers still combing through Yoongi’s hair. Gentle, barely scratching in between his ears as the other has finally fallen asleep, exhausted. Jeongguk manages a breath, a bit shaky, and Namjoon hums something under his breath, a small smile curling his lips. “He’s had a bad day, Guk-ah. He fell asleep not long ago…”.

“You- I- hyung”.

“Hey, I know you’re worried. Come over, alright? I’m sure Yoongi doesn’t mind, no matter how many times he told me not to tell you just today”.

“You sure? I don’t…”. Namjoon hums his agreement, this time, low as to not disturb his friend’s rest. Yoongi stirs anyway, just a little, and Namjoon keeps on scratching lightly over his head, before moving some strands of hair from his forehead. “Should I bring anything?”, he hears Jeongguk ask after a few seconds, the sound of the rain in the background and Yoongi’s tail that seems to twitch a little at the sound of the younger’s voice.

Yoongi’s eyes flutter open in a matter of moments, Jeongguk is still blabbering a little on the line, and Namjoon is trying to find the right words to say. “Just yourself should be fine”, he ends up saying, with Yoongi curling up on himself and nuzzling a little to his best friend’s hand.

“Joon-ah, I said I didn’t- don’t want him to worry”, he mumbles weakly once his two friends have ended the call, with Namjoon smiling softly and Jeongguk saying that he’ll be there soon. He had sounded like he was under the rain without an umbrella, to Yoongi’s years. And like he was close to running, his breath coming out in small huffs of air. “I could have text him, maybe…”.

Namjoon shakes his head just a little, the movement barely there, and goes back to scratch in between Yoongi’s cat ears. “He was the one calling, a bit panicky, cause you two had a date and you didn’t show up”. Namjoon chooses to ignore how Yoongi blushes at the mention of their breakfast together and goes on. He fights with himself not to smile too wide. “He called you and texted you, all day hyung. Jeongguk was already worried, trust me”.

“’m such a terrible person”.

“No, you’re not. Bad days happen”.

“I know. I just- I don’t like shutting him out. And I don’t like when… like, people seeing me like this. And my ears, Joon…”.

At that, Namjoon simply raises an eyebrow, finding it silly that he’s being self-conscious about his ears when Jeongguk is literally a hybrid. Just like him. He knows it’s different, and he knows that Yoongi doesn’t trust people. He knows about his past, at least about most of it. “Yoon, he has his own bunny ears, so cute and fluffy, mh?”.

So cute and fluffy. Yoongi’s breath itches as he recognizes his own words, how he had blabbered about the younger a couple evenings before. “Stop that-”, he mumbles, but there’s a hint of laughter in it, a small chuckle to match the way he’s furiously blushing.

“Mh, alright. But Jeongguk is never going to judge you for being a cat, right?”.

And maybe he knows. Deep down, he already knows that. He also can say that, after months of knowing each other, he’s beginning to trust Jeongguk. So fast for his standards, and inexorably. He’s even surer about it when minutes later Jeongguk knocks at his door, when Namjoon goes to open it and when he faintly ears them talking softly among one another, his best friend muttering a curse under his breath cause apparently Jeongguk is soaking wet from the rain.

Yoongi can smell it from under the covers, the way the raindrops are clinging to Jeongguk’s fur, mixing to his own smell. Mixing to the strawberries and the coffee, so sweet and slightly bitter at the same time. Mixing to his favourite detergent and cotton, clean bedsheets, and something woody to it. Deep and intense, something entirely Jeongguk.

He likes the scent of the rain. Likes it even better onto him.

And he doesn’t mean to sound so small when he calls Jeongguk’s name. He’s still cuddled under the covers, still nuzzling in a pillow to try and feel a little less overwhelmed than he’s been the whole day – and the whole night before. Yoongi himself doesn’t expect the way he whines a little, mostly under his breath, when Jeongguk appears on his bedroom’s door, eyes wide, lips parted in worry, and rain dripping a little from his clothes. The smell of rain and just Jeongguk is so strong – but not too much, never to the point Yoongi will dislike it.

Yoongi blinks slowly, a little out of it and barely registering how Namjoon offers the younger a towel, barely notices Jeongguk drying his ears the best he can before he’s getting closer, sitting on the edge of the mattress. His fingers fumbling between themselves, itching to reach out and touch. His eyes so wide and searching for Yoongi’s face in the dimmed room. “Hyung- can I?”, he asks in a hushed voice as Namjoon leaves the room. He doesn’t really know what he’s asking for. To soothe, to touch, to hold tight and never let go, maybe.

“Mh, yeah… I- my ears, Guk-ah”. They’re not covered. It itches. It aches if I cover them. Jeongguk hums something under his breath, understanding what Yoongi wants to say but can’t. Imagining the ache, imagining how difficult it must be to let someone see him. To trust someone with something so important and personal and… “Please…”.

“What do you need?”, murmurs Jeongguk, sitting slightly closer to the other, enough so he can take his hand and softly squeeze their fingers together. Yoongi huffs a little at the skin-on-skin contact but doesn’t push Jeongguk away. Instead, he emerges a bit from under the pile of blankets, slowly blinking as Jeongguk smiles down at him. A tiny thing, shy and worried, yet so pretty. “Hi… what can I do, Yoon?”.

“Hug? Please?”.

Jeongguk hums again, nudging Yoongi to the centre of the bed and moving the covers enough to be able to slip underneath them. Laying down in front of him, his breath hitting Yoongi’s forehead and a sigh leaving the elder’s lips. “This okay?”. Jeongguk’s voice is at the perfect volume for Yoongi’s overwhelmed senses. So low, yet just right for him – for them. Yoongi nods slowly, getting closer so Jeongguk can hug him tight, enough to try and put him back together. The elder finds himself nosing at Jeongguk’s collarbone, and the younger chuckles lightly at the feeling, holding Yoongi a bit tight when he mumbles the quietest sorry on his skin.

It’s not new to hug Jeongguk. Even like this, buried under covers and in a too small and barely lit bedroom. It’s not new to nose at the column of his throat, nor to hold tight onto his hoodie. It’s not new for Jeongguk to keep Yoongi close and just be there, be them, bathed in silence and deep-orange sunsets peeking through the blinds. It’s not the first time, and it has been the other way around as well, with Jeongguk’s bigger body becoming so incredibly and endearingly smaller, fitting like a jigsaw piece against the cat hybrid’s body.

It’s not new, and yet it feels different, whenever Jeongguk’s lips linger a bit more across his cheeks or his jaw, or when his fingers slide through his own so easily. Like it’s normal, natural, like they can communicate better that way than with actual words. It feels different, too, when one of Jeongguk’s hand finds its way through his white hair. Slowly finding the soft fur close to his ears. Stopping for a moment as he noses at his temple and Yoongi’s breath itches – just slightly, barely there and yet enough for the younger to notice and stop.

Fingers unmoving, millimetres away from one of his ears. Still, as to give him an out. As to give him a moment to think about it, or space for himself as he might need it.

“’s okay…”, mumbles Yoongi, sensing Jeongguk’s insecurity; his nose still buried in the crook of the other man’s neck and lips stretched into the smallest smile, something Jeongguk can feel more than he can see. “You can touch if you want… I mean…”.

“Yoon”, calls Jeongguk gently, sensing a bit of panic that really doesn’t need to be there. He understands where Yoongi is coming from, sure – most of it at least – but he also can see how the other is starting to trust him. So much it never fails to put a smile on his face. “I won’t if you’re not comfortable with it, mh?”.

“No- I know. I mean – a pause, in which Yoongi distances himself from Jeongguk’s neck so he can look him in the eyes, teeth digging gently into his bottom lip – I mean, please…?”.

“Oh-”.

His eyes go so wide, Yoongi can see it even in the badly lit room. It makes the cat hybrid chuckle under his breath, before he bumps his nose into the bunny’s. It’s hard to ask, and Jeongguk knows; so much that he feels so proud of him, as a smile tilts the corner of his lips up. A mumble of I’m proud of you leaves his lips before he can even think of stopping it, and Yoongi feels his cheeks turn impossibly warm, probably just as red as he thinks they are, if not more.

But then, before he can think of a reply, Jeongguk’s fingers are stroking against one of his ears. He gasps, eyelids slowly fluttering shut and forehead falling back to its place against Jeongguk’s neck. He feels the younger smile softly and impossibly fond, feels the awed sound that escapes him as his ears twitch at the feeling.

It feels foreign, new. But not wrong.

It feels so right that Yoongi finds himself begin to purr. In the most natural way. Totally giving in his instinct, so much that he notices he’s doing it only when a small laugh – a chuckle, really – rumbles deep from Jeongguk’s chest. “Sorry”, mumbles the younger. His hand keeps moving, stroking his ears gently. Scratching lightly at the skin, enough for him to start purr again. It’s so soothing to Jeongguk’s ears, he can’t really explain- it just feels good. “Okay?”, he asks after a while, just to make sure. Just to feel Yoongi nod, nosing at his throat.

What he doesn’t expect, is to feel Yoongi curl his tail around his other wrist. He squeals, surprised, ears perking up and tail twitching. And Yoongi- god, he starts laughing at his reaction, curled impossibly closer and endearingly smaller in Jeongguk’s arms. Under the blanket and bathed in almost-darkness. Feeling the lightest he’s felt since the night before. Feeling at ease with someone like he’s never been.

“Sorry, Guk-ah”.

“For what? ‘s cute… and it’s you, kitten”. The pet name escapes Jeongguk’s lips almost on its own, and he stiffens for a moment. But Yoongi is- he’s smiling a little, no matter how petrified he looks and feels in his arms. “Shit- ‘m so sorry, hyung…”.

Yoongi tips his head up to kiss Jeongguk’s chin, an easy way to stun him into silence. “I like it. It’s fitting, isn’t it?”, he jokes lightly, watching in awe as Jeongguk’s bunny ears go from perked up high on his head to flattened in his dark hair. He sees – faint, but it’s there – the blush on his cheeks. Feels the warmth from it down his neck. “I don’t mind being a kitten, if it’s with you”, he adds with a small smile, a bit more insecure than before, shy, and tiny.

Jeongguk seems to take a moment to register Yoongi’s words, but then he’s smiling so wide it’s almost blinding. It makes Yoongi giggle, airy and out of breath, when he shuffles even closer – if it’s possible – and tucks his face against his throat. Yoongi thinks he mumbles a cute under his breath, and the other whines. Low in his throat.

“Stop- hyung!”.

“You are very cute, ‘m just stating facts, bunny”.

Jeongguk stammers something at the last word, breath itching, but his cotton tail is basically vibrating under the blanket – it’s reverberating to the whole bed, and it has the elder bite onto the biggest smile of the day – so Yoongi thinks that can’t be a too bad of a reaction. Possibly not bad at all, he hopes.

Then it’s later, after some time of Jeongguk scratching gently in between his ears, and after Yoongi has finally fallen asleep – with his head pillowed onto the other’s chest and still purring lowly, curled against Jeongguk’s body. After the younger of them as watched the other sleep for a couple hours, Yoongi’s tail gently wrapped around Jeongguk’s waist and his ears slightly tickling under his chin. It is after Namjoon has waved at Jeongguk from the bedroom door, close to midnight, that Yoongi starts to stir against Jeongguk.

Slowly, his eyes flutter open, and the bunny hybrid presses the smallest peck in his light hair, a way to greet him without having to use more words than necessary.

It’s later, in the silence, that Jeongguk musters up the courage to ask about Yoongi’s bad days. What they mean, what they’re about. He tells him we don’t need to talk about this and it’s okay if you’re not ready, but Yoongi shakes his head and presses his nose to Jeongguk’s jaw for a moment, breathes him in, calms himself down and takes a moment for himself.

And then he’s telling Jeongguk about the nightmares, how they still happen sometimes, and he can’t control them, or how shaken he feels after them. He tells him about why he always wears a beanie, about the bullying and the people that didn’t accept him and left. About the kids pulling at his tail when he was little, how it hurt and how it still hurts sometimes, if he thinks about it. He tells Jeongguk how there are days he wakes up feeling on edge, itching, feeling wrong in his own skin. With anxiety crawling right under the surface, and a deep feeling of sadness, something that keeps him from living the day to the fullest, usually in bed and in almost darkness. How he used to barely get through those days, and how he told Namjoon about them, how his friend has helped him countless times, on countless bad days.

Yoongi talks slowly about it, voice low and lips brushing over Jeongguk’s skin every now and then. He talks for hours, probably, they don’t keep track of it, Jeongguk doesn’t count the minutes he’s spent running his fingers across Yoongi’s spine, nor he counts the times he combs through his hair, fingertips brushing over his ears – them twitching just a little, and a smile stretching Jeongguk’s lips anytime Yoongi finds himself purring.

They talk until they can’t tell if it’s too late at night or too early in the morning, until Yoongi tiredly presses his forehead to Jeongguk’s cheek and the younger hums something, too exhausted himself for actual words. They talk until Jeongguk presses a kiss to Yoongi’s forehead, whispering thanks for telling me and ‘m proud of you, kitten. Until Yoongi tells him to stop, a bit whiny but with no actual bite to it, and Jeongguk just looks at him and giggles. They talk through the night, fall asleep as the rest of the world outside their bubble gets ready for the day ahead. Until the white-haired hybrid falls asleep, Jeongguk’s voice in his ears, so low it’s almost not enough to hear.

“I care for you, hyung…”.

And that’s a bit like a confession, but without the actual words for it. Without I like you, hyung. Without the I think I might be falling in love part, the one Jeongguk feels on the tip of his tongue. Yoongi hears it, wants to say care for you, too, hopes he’ll remember to say it when they wake up.

He does.

And it’s hard, at times, but it gets easier. It’s a slow process, helping Yoongi get comfortable. Let him know that he can trust someone, that he can trust Jeongguk. Say Jeongguk will never hurt him – not on purpose – and then repeat it, over and over, never getting tired of saying it. Having breakfast together, squeezing Yoongi’s fingers and winking at him. Fixing the beanie on his head for him, and then leaning down to bump their noses together. (That has Yoongi blush and smile and automatically become smaller, every single time). Drawing smiley faces onto Yoongi’s take-away cup whenever he doesn’t have too much time to spare before class, before work, before going back to his apartment.

Jeongguk has always been good with small gestures like this, while trying not to rush things. But it makes him smile, anytime Yoongi gets a tiny bit more comfortable with him. Leaning against him, or hold Jeongguk to himself just a minute more, please. Kissing his cheeks when they see each other after the younger’s or his own shift, after class, or that morning when Jeongguk appeared on his doorstep right after sunrise – just because, because, hyung, I missed you – which turned into Yoongi sleepily taking his hand and pulling him towards his bedroom to sleep some more and cuddle and just be.

It is just as small, when one evening Yoongi gets to the patisserie unexpectedly earlier than usual. A beanie on his head – one that Jeongguk got for him as a present (for nothing in particular, just because I saw it and I thought of you, hyung) – and a shy smile grazing his features when Jeongguk notices him. Let it be his scent, or the fact that the younger is turning towards the door just as he’s entering. Yoongi feels small, people looking as usual, but even smaller when Jeongguk gets closer to greet him. Hugging him in the middle of the cafe, the smell of coffee beans and vanilla clinging to his sweater, his apron, his hair as well.

“You’re early”.

“Should I come later?”, he teases, small in his arms but looking up at him in time to see Jeongguk’s eyes go wide while he shakes his head. A pout making its way onto his lips as Yoongi giggles, rising on his tippy toes to be able to press a kiss to Jeongguk’s cheek. His jaw, more likely. “Hey, Jeongguk-ah”.

“Hey, kitten”.

Yoongi hides against his collarbone, at that, hiding a smile and his blushed cheeks as Jeongguk quietly laughs, a kiss to his beanie. In between his cat ears. “You’re embarrassing, god”, mumbles Yoongi after a beat, still close to Jeongguk enough so he can ignore whatever the group of girls by the window is saying (they’re giggling, Yoongi is pretty sure they’re gossiping about them), too focused on Jeongguk’s hold to care about the rest, if he’s honest.

“You like it”. I know you do.

That’s- that’s true, but not the point, bun. “No, not at all. I just keep you close for the ear scratches”, he teases, backing off with a smile as Jeongguk parts his lips, faking hurt but obviously hiding a smile. “Can you finish early, today?”, he asks after a moment, Jeongguk smiles hitting him in full force, this time, as he gently bumps his lips to the younger’s chin.

“I’ll have to ask”. And he tilts his head to the side, looking curiously down at Yoongi, but there’s a sprinkle of warmth and fondness, in his dark eyes. “Where we’re going?”, he asks, playing with Yoongi’s fingers as they go back to the counter. Jeongguk goes to try and catch his boss attention – a woman in her forties who’s always been kind to him and treats him like he’s family – but Yoongi pulls a little onto his fingers so the younger turns back to him.

“Want to take you on a date”, mumbles Yoongi before he can think too much about it.

He knows he’s blushing like crazy, redder than the sun beginning to set behind the clouds outside. It looks like it’s going to rain, probably during the night, but Yoongi has finally mustered the courage to ask Jeongguk that morning in front of the mirror. So much that he can’t care about the weather when he wants to- to just be with Jeongguk. Doesn’t really matter where, or if it will be raining.

Jeongguk’s ears twitch at the question, perking up and then flattening in between his hair. He looks excited and yet confused at the same time. He looks maybe a little scared, his eyes wide and his lips parted. “A- a date?”, he stammers, a lot like he can’t believe it, and Yoongi thumbs quietly at his hand, a smile that's soft soft soft on his lips. “Hyung-”.

“Only if you want, bunny. I thought I asked, just in case, and…”, he stops with a huff when Jeongguk starts nodding eagerly, ears perking up again and the widest smile Yoongi has ever seen on his face in the past months. The elder can’t help but laugh at his reaction, a low and barely there thing, but squeals when Jeongguk picks him up. “Guk! Stop, put me down-”.

Jeongguk chuckles, shaking his head while he gently fixes Yoongi’s beanie with the hand that’s free from holding him up. “Not gonna”.

“No? Are we just going to stay like this?”. He hears the girls near the window laugh, and he doesn’t exactly care, but- he still taps his fingers against Jeongguk’s neck, pleading him to put him down. “Come on, bun. No date if you don’t put me down…”, he teases, biting on a giggle at how fast Jeongguk helps him down.

“Like a date date?”.

“Yeah, a date date, bun”. I wanted to ask for weeks, was so scared you’d say no. And Jeongguk seems to guess his thought, for the way he smiles bright, shaking his head only in the slightest as to say something along the lines of I’d never say no, hyung. “Go ask, come on”.

“’kay… hyung?”. Yoongi just nods, squeezing his fingers with a smile, as to say he’s listening. “I care for you”, he whispers, leaning down to press a kiss onto Yoongi’s cheek, his hand staying gently on his head, thumb touching one of his ears through the light-coloured beanie.

And Yoongi smiles, feeling so soft and fuzzy around the edges, because that’s their thing now. Their feelings for each other, out in the open, but without an actual terrifying label to it. Without having to speak a I love you they’re not ready for, without having to throw into the other’s face a I might be falling for you of which they’re not sure, or more likely not ready for. They both know what it means, how much they care. And that’s enough. For now.

“Care for you, too”.

It’s later, and they’re walking through a park and towards Yoongi’s apartment after the best evening Jeongguk has had in what feels like forever.

Yoongi had gently pulled him along the street by the hand – their fingers slotting together like it was nothing, his thumb tracing a tiny circle on the back on Jeongguk’s hand while he talked animatedly about his day – on a bus and down another street and to the arcade. Jeongguk had just looked at him with eyes as wide as the moon and his ears moving excitedly, almost on their own, and Yoongi had laughed, the younger close to jumping on the spot. Bright as the stars that were about to appear as the sky got darker.

The bunny had wandered around the games with Yoongi in tow, their hands finding their way to each other between a game and the other. The cat hybrid biting on a smile most of the night, endeared by the jump in Jeongguk’s step, his giggle, his expression when winning a game and his adorable pout when losing. A kiss pressed on his cheek any time he’d lose – and Jeongguk literally glowing, blinding, making Yoongi giggle.

Happy as ever.

Dinner finds them eating sushi in a small restaurant that’s been Yoongi’s favourite since he’d found it – only the veggie rolls for Jeongguk, his bunny side peeking through in his eating habits, just like Yoongi’s intolerance to lactose – followed by fries from a street vendor and eaten sitting on a bench, throwing some at each other while laughing, and the biggest banana milkshake you can make, I bet I can finish it, hyung. And yes, of course he could finish it, a satisfied smile on his lips and his nose scrunched so cutely, Yoongi feels warm warm warm watching him.

Then it rains.

The first raindrop has Jeongguk stop himself mid-sentence, gaze wandering to the dark sky over their heads for a moment, before another drop of water collides with his slightly scrunched nose. A noise leaves Yoongi’s lips right after, with people scrambling around them to get inside and Jeongguk still looking up like he’s in awe, a bit like he’s never seen the rain, or he’s never acknowledged it, not really. Yoongi calls for him, more drops wetting his face, his clothes, like tears from the sky, from the moon now hidden behind a cloud; and when Jeongguk finally looks down at him, he seems to remember he’s a cat. And that cats usually don’t do so well with water.

“Guk-ah…”.

“Shit- yeah, let’s go”, he says, forehead creased with a bit of worry - but only until Yoongi doesn't smile at him, a chuckle almost escaping him when he gets on his tippy toes to bump his own nose to his. “You’re gonna get wet, come on”, he mumbles, but with a bit more urgency than before as more rain falls onto them. Bigger drops, more of them, falling faster.

They get wet, of course. Even with how fast Jeongguk is walking, gently tugging Yoongi along by the hand. Even if Jeongguk takes his jacket off and uses it as a shield more for Yoongi than for himself. They get wet, even if Yoongi ends up laughing it off, close to Jeongguk as they figure out which bus to get on or if they should just call a taxi. He mumbles a ‘s okay, bun, as they finally get on a bus, and again later when they’re getting closer to Yoongi’s apartment complex and Jeongguk looks at him like he’s feeling guilty about the rain, like he thinks their night has been ruined and- it has not.

It will not be ruined just because of a bit of rain.

“’m fine”, he repeats in a low voice once they get inside, a couple steps away from the door and taking off their shoes. Jeongguk shakes his head and pouts, making him giggle a little, no matter how uncomfortable his damp ears and tail feel. At the sound, the younger looks at him, and his ears – wetter than Yoongi’s – perk up slightly. “I’m okay, bunny. I promise. Just wet and a bit cold”.

“But I’m sorry”.

“Guk-ah, baby, you can’t control the rain”. Yoongi stills on his way to gently cup Jeongguk’s face, lips parting and closing, before they part again like he wants to say something. God, you really can’t shut up today, Min Yoongi. Jeongguk seems close to laughing, by the way, and he’s quick to do what Yoongi wanted to, cupping his cheeks with the brightest smile of the evening yet. “What-”.

The younger lets out a chuckle, slowly taking off Yoongi’s beanie for him, watching as the other’s eyes close shut. He’s smiling just slightly, but it is bright in the dimmed entrance, Jeongguk can’t stop a smile of his own. “Stop overthinking, hyung”, he murmurs, leaning in to leave a kiss in between Yoongi’s cat ears – his own dripping rain everywhere, starting to saturate Yoongi’s apartment with the smell of it, the smell of the rain mixed with his own.

Yoongi thinks, for a moment, that he loves the combination more and more each day.

“Don’t want to go too fast”.

We both want this, apparently, so stop thinking about it too much, ‘s not necessary, kitten. “We’re fine. I promise – a pause, in which Yoongi slowly opens his dark eyes again; only, they’re so golden Jeongguk wants to melt on the spot – we should dry off, mh?”, he adds in the faintest whisper, the tip of a finger brushing under an eye, a look of complete awe on his face.

Yoongi tries quiet desperately to blink his cat side away, prays his eyes are back to their usual colour, but Jeongguk frowns a little, shaking his head. “You don’t mind my eyes?”, asks the elder, just to make sure he’s reading this right. Just to make sure he’s understanding Jeongguk’s eyes, his frown, or the way his ears seems to be vibrating with the slightest… anger, maybe?

“They’re pretty”. You’re pretty, he wants to say. “You don’t need to hide… not from me, hyung. I see you”. And he looks and sounds so earnest, so sincere, that Yoongi feels his eyes – still wide with surprise and golden, still sun-like – fill with tears. He sniffs quietly, suddenly emotional because no one has ever said that of his eyes. Of him. No one has ever looked into his cat eyes and thought oh my god, they’re gorgeous. They always see the animal in him, the part they can’t control, the part they were taught to dislike, to fear. “Hyung- kitten, hey. Come on, let’s dry you, mh?”, he adds gently, brushing away stray tears from Yoongi’s cheeks with a small smile. “Don’t want you to catch a cold”.

“You mean it…”.

“Of course, I do”.

Yoongi finds himself quietly sniffing once more, later, when Jeongguk is helping him dry off and changing into clean, warmer, and more comfortable clothes. Jeongguk’s bunny teeth dig a little into his bottom lip, a hint of worry in his eyes but gentle fingertips still touching the older hybrid. It’s small gestures, really, like drying his ears with the fluffiest towel Yoongi owns or gently combing his fingers through the other’s hair. Like helping him put on a sweater – that, really, looks like a dress, for it almost reaches his knees – and leaving a kiss on his forehead after their done.

Jeongguk mumbles let me dry off as well, the hint of a giggle in his voice as one of Yoongi’s hands closes around a portion of his damp hoodie. The cat hybrid pouts a little, and Jeongguk melts a bit more, falls a little deeper in love with him. “What got you all soft, mh?”, whispers Jeongguk, totally surrendering and letting Yoongi pull him closer. Close enough that he can lean his forehead onto the younger’s shoulder. Mumbles a you smell so good, so small and mostly under his breath. Jeongguk hums something back, helping Yoongi up onto the bathroom counter, next to the sink, before going to stand in between his legs. He stays closer, keeps his damp hoodie on as he lets Yoongi just be there and breathe him in, while he takes another fluffy towel for his own ears.

He starts quietly humming a song, Yoongi still nuzzled to his front. And still singing quietly, Jeongguk picks him up and keeps him close, a chuckle escaping his lips between a note and the following, with Yoongi mouthing a thank you onto his collarbone – that being followed by ‘s cold and ‘m sleepy, that has the younger coo while he moves them to Yoongi’s bedroom.

Jeongguk pecks once again the spot in between the other hybrid’s ears, and then helps him under the covers. He hides yet another smile, laying down next to him as Yoongi tugs onto him with his tail, asking him to stay, to spend the night, without having to say it loud out. He takes off his still damp hoodie, hugging the other from behind and whispering the smallest I’m here, kitten, to the back of his neck.

The younger thinks, as he falls asleep, how much he’d love to kiss him.

And if it’ll happen, Jeongguk wants it to be small, delicate like Yoongi’s cat ears. Tiny as teardrops falling from the sky and the twinkling stars in the firmament. Fierce as the ocean waves, but as soft as Yoongi feels when he’s cold and about to fall asleep.

The morning after, Yoongi kisses him on the cheek – closer to his mouth than he probably intends to – mumbles a sorry for last night, and hides behind a steamy cup of coffee when Jeongguk moves some hair from his face and spontaneously delivers a kiss to his forehead. Yoongi feels warm, cheeks red, and Jeongguk can’t help the chuckle that escapes him. And if Yoongi swats at him with his tail, that doesn’t really matter – the smile he’s hiding (not doing a good job at that) is bright bright bright, so warm Jeongguk feels his insides slowly melting.

There are kisses pressed into hair, or to fluffy ears before parting and going each their way. Noses bumping gently against cheekbones, chins, the jut of a bare shoulder. Butterfly kisses left against collarbones when the other sleeps – or more likely pretends to – or small kisses to the tip of a finger, to the tiny mole under Jeongguk’s bottom lip, to the inside of Yoongi’s wrist.

There are hands holding loosely, or fingers playing with each other. There’s Namjoon hiding an amused smile as Yoongi becomes smaller in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck and the younger fixes his beanie – fingers lingering where his ears are, words whispered into them that only he could hear.

There’s Jeongguk blinking as Namjoon chuckles – loud in the empty patisserie. “I called you five times, Guk-ah”, he lets him know with a soft smile, but doesn’t say a word on how distracted he looks since Yoongi has left for a late afternoon shift at the music shop he works at. “Wanna talk about it?”, he adds, pointing at the free chair on the other side of the wooden table, smiling when Jeongguk ends up sitting in front of him with a sigh.

There’s not much to talk about and yet, at the same time, Jeongguk suddenly wants to talk about anything and everything in between.

It’s been weeks since their first date, there’s been a second one, a third one. And yet, Jeongguk can’t stop thinking, his mind an ocean filled with buts and ifs. And yet, in the end, the most of his messy thoughts consist of Yoongi. The most of them made in the shape of Yoongi’s lips, of what would it be like to kiss him.

“How do you let someone know you want to kiss them? I mean, like- hypothetically?”.

Namjoon raises a brow, but he looks amused, on the verge of laughter, and Jeongguk only hopes the ground could open and simply swallow him whole. “Hypothetically?”, he repeats, the hint of a badly hidden smirk on his lips. It has Jeongguk groan, eyes shut for a handful of seconds, until the elder smiles softly and pats gently one of his hands resting on the table. “I’m teasing you, come on, Jeongguk-ah”.

“I know, ‘s just- how do you tell someone something like this without looking crazy or sounding ridiculous?”. Like, I can’t just sit him down and tell him, that’s ridiculous. I can’t blurt it out like it’s nothing, because for how much I want it to be a small thing, it’s not. It’ll change us, right? And that, that’s what scares me, so much.

Namjoon nods a little to himself, understanding what Jeongguk is talking about. Getting why he’s so afraid. But, at the same time, Namjoon knows Yoongi’s point of view, as well. Knows how his best friend feels about Jeongguk, knows that their dates went well – so well I wanted to kiss him, Joon-ah, but I can’t just- I can’t just do it. “Can I be completely honest with you?”. A pause, in which Jeongguk nods quiet eagerly, and Namjoon chuckles, small but deep, under his breath. Feels a bit like ocean waves, just as soothing. “I think you’re thinking too much about it. You both are”. Jeongguk eyes go wide at that, confused but then filled with stars because Yoongi spoke to Namjoon as well? About him, about them? “You know him by now, and I know you two trust each other… so just- I mean, I know it may sound scary, but just tell him. Or you could just do it, you know?”.

“Even scarier…”.

“What’s so terrifying? It’s only Yoongi”.

Jeongguk blinks, letting the words settle in before he finds himself nodding – only slightly at first, but then with more purpose. Namjoon is right, he knows Yoongi, and they trust each other. He knows how he orders his coffee and how he likes for his ears to be petted. He knows how Yoongi furrows his brows when he’s thinking too hard about something or how soft around the edges he becomes when he’s tired, or cold – or both. He’s learned at least a bit of what to do during Yoongi’s no days; Jeongguk knows he has to remind him to drink enough water or that he has to push a little for him to eat. He knows how to hold him tight, but not too tight. He’s learned to know how Yoongi loves his smell after it rains, how he likes to hide in the crook of his neck and just be there, breathing him in, a self-reminder that Jeongguk is real, that he’s there with him, that it's not only a dream.

And Jeongguk knows, deep down, how Yoongi – hopefully – won’t say no if he’d ask to kiss him.

“You’re right, ‘s only Yoongi-hyung”, mumbles the younger, pulling a little the tip of a dark bunny ear as Namjoon takes a sip of his americano to hide the smile of someone who knows they’re right. “I’m just scared, don’t wanna ruin everything only because I can’t stop thinking about-”.

“Why don’t you just go, mh?”.

Jeongguk can’t just go. He still has to work to the end his shift and help closing the patisserie. He still has to clean up and get distracted thinking about Yoongi- and then he has to go home and keep on working on one of his assignments. He has to shower and go to sleep – but not before texting Yoongi or maybe calling him and stay on the phone with him while they fall asleep, smiling to himself at the way Yoongi will end up purr, quiet and unconsciously as usual.

So maybe – maybe – he could just go.

It’s funny how it gently starts raining, at some point in between the cafe and Yoongi’s music shop. Maybe after he emerges from the subway, or when he’s already speed-walking (close to jogging) along the street to the shop. And Jeongguk can’t stop himself from thinking how Yoongi’s nose will do its usual little scrunch. How his cheeks will turn pinker, like rose petals. How pliant he’ll be, nose pressed against his throat and arms around his torso as to keep him there, possibly forever.

It’s funny how he doesn’t have an umbrella – because, hey, it wasn’t supposed to be raining – and he’s almost jogging and the hood of his jacket keeps on slipping and- when he finally gets there and stops on the opposite sidewalk, Yoongi is sitting on a stool and turned to the window, beanie on his head and hands busy reordering a pile of CDs. He’s so focused than he doesn’t notice he’s there, metres away, looking inside with a small smile and so much want Jeongguk thinks he might explode if he doesn’t do something.

Anything, whatever.

Jeongguk can see the shop is empty, other than for Yoongi himself. He can see clearly the surprise onto the other’s face, when the small set of bells on the door starts to ring, its sound reverberating across the room so suddenly that it has the cat hybrid jump a little on his seat. He looks stunned, then, after a full moment of looking at Jeongguk but barely seeing him, when he finally takes full notice of the grown bunny hybrid still on the shop’s entrance, almost certainly wet from head to toe and with a faint but beautiful smile on his face.

Yoongi feels his own forehead crease a little, his nose scrunching and his lips parted in what wants to be Jeongguk’s name, and yet suddenly it’s not. “What- I thought you had to close tonight”. I mean, ‘m not complaining you’re here, but- god, Yoongi feels so confused, so worried for Jeongguk’s health, and so endeared by the boy, all in the same inhale of air.

“Had something more important to do”. Like run here under the rain and just kiss you, cause all I do these days is thinking about your lips and it’s driving me crazy. “I kind of missed you”, he admits, a step forward to let the glass door close behind him.

Yoongi chuckles under his breath, a shake of his head as he retrieves two towels from under the counter for Jeongguk to dry with, before stepping from behind it and getting closer to him. He almost  drops them, though, a small, surprised sound leaving his lips when Jeongguk’s fingers close gently around his wrist. He laughs a little, the stars into the younger’s eyes making him feel a bit overwhelmed. Feels a little drunk on him. Like he’s falling, but at the same time safe, with Jeongguk’s hand keeping him there, grounding him. I started falling weeks ago, probably, he can’t help but thinking. Hope you’d catch me. “Jeongguk-ah”, he calls, stunned and a bit breathless.

“Wanna kiss you”, blurts out Jeongguk before he can stop himself. Then he curses under his breath, possibly a handful of seconds after, and by then Yoongi has actually dropped the towels – now only a pile of fluffy fabric at their feet, the only thing physically separating them. “God- that was an awful way to put it, I’m sorry”. And he tries to step away, lightning fast and totally awkward, ears flattened in what feels like shame. Ridiculous and crazy looking, all he didn’t want to be in front of the man he’s most probably already half in love with.

But then Yoongi breathes out the smallest giggle, biting on his bottom lip right after. He looks… happy? And Jeongguk is totally gone for the smile still on his lips to notice the step forward he takes or the way he rises – only slightly – on his toes to pull him down, hands cupping the sides of his face until they’re so close they’re sharing the same breath. “Great way to put it, actually. Straight to the point, I like it”. I like you, god. So much.

“Yeah?”.

“Mh-mh”, hums Yoongi, faint but also loud, even over the light music coming from the speakers. Then they’re kissing, and Jeongguk gets all he wanted from Yoongi’s lips, and even more.

Their kiss is something small, but full. It’s tiny, if seen from afar, but it feels deep as the ocean and soft as Yoongi’s tail around his waist when he’s about to fall asleep. It’s delicate like Yoongi’s cat ears, and Jeongguk won’t change it for the world. Tiny as teardrops falling from smoke-coloured clouds and the twinkling stars in the night sky.

And yet, at the same time, it also feels big. Like something has shifted between them, like the moon has been taken down from the sky and a bunch of new stars – a bunch of new feelings – are taking her place in the sky. Different, but just as bright as her. It’s like a wave threatening to bring him under, but Yoongi slender fingers keeping him afloat.

Jeongguk can almost hear his voice. We’ll swim together, baby.

He feels cotton-candy fluffy, heart just as sweet, once Yoongi’s feet find the floor once again. His eyes are still closed, even seconds after they separate, and he feels one of Yoongi’s fingertips gently touching the tip of his nose, a cheek, eyelid, brow, temple. Jeongguk lets his eyes flutter open only when he feels Yoongi fingers grazing over his lips, following the movement with his eyes as they part a little, shiny with saliva and already missing him.

It aches, but in the best way something can possibly do.

“Please, always forget your umbrella, mh?”, mumbles Yoongi, voice tiny as his lips brush one more time to Jeongguk’s. It has the younger laugh, overwhelmed but also so light, fingers playing with the longer hair at Yoongi’s nape and nose bumping to his in some kind of agreement. “You smell wonderful when the rain sticks onto you…”.

“Really?”.

“Yeah- I mean, you always smell fantastic, but-”. Yoongi halts mid-sentence, mid-breath, when Jeongguk leans closer and kisses him once again. And then he laughs, shoulders shaking and beanie moving slightly – with Jeongguk quickly fixing it for him, even if there’s no one other than them, there. “Guk, bun…”.

“Mh?”, he hums, nose sliding against Yoongi’s temple, before he leaves a kiss to the edge of the dark-coloured beanie. Yoongi feels himself blush at the tender gesture, loses the thread of his thoughts for a second, feels Jeongguk smile soft soft soft. “What is it, kitten?”.

Not only you smell like the rain, you also remind me of it. You remind me of the feeling of having someone in my life after having no one for so long. It’s like- feels a bit like the earth soaking in the rain after a drought.

“You’re to me like the rain after a drought”, he mumbles before he can stop himself, or more like before his shyness can stop him. Jeongguk moves a little so he can properly look him in the eyes, head a bit tilted to the side in curiosity, not having expected this. His eyes are wide, a bit glossy, an entire constellation swimming in his dark irises. He goes to say something, but Yoongi shakes his head and presses a finger to his lips. “I feel like I was alone for so long, like a was a plant that no one wanted to water. Mostly because of who I am, of what we are, and- you’re so good to me, I just wanted you to know… I love the smell of the rain on you, because it reminds me of this, every time”. He brushes away a tear before Jeongguk can do it for him, a wet chuckle escaping him when the younger starts pressing small kisses all over his face. “Jeongguk. Bun- baby”, he calls, giggling in between tears. “You okay, mh?”.

“Yeah, I- all good”.

Yoongi smiles, feeling incredibly happy, impossibly light, like he’s suddenly walking metres over the ground, on a cloud that’s as fluffy as Jeongguk when he wakes up in the morning, still half hidden in between his shoulder and a pillow. “Wanna go on a date after I close here?”.

“Only if I get to kiss you some more once I bring you home”. And it’s teasing, so much and yet so light that Yoongi finds himself chuckling, nodding so that his nose bumps against Jeongguk’s jaw.

And Yoongi’s chuckle feels for Jeongguk a lot like a gentle storm crying its raindrops onto a desert. A bit like he’s finally living again, and not just surviving, no matter how lucky he’s been until then.

Jeongguk feels even luckier now and here, sitting onto Yoongi’s stool, with him drying his ears and pressing kisses in between them. Kisses that now have a different meaning than just I care for you.

Each of them feels a little like I like you, or I love you. A bit like I’m halfway there to falling in love and a lot like I wouldn’t mind it if it were with you.