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“Carmen, Agi!” Panther’s voice was steady, as if all eyes were on her.
Well, one pair of them were, at least.
Joker’s eyes trained on her other self, not even taking a break to blink. “How can he manage to watch me like that with a straight face?” She’d wondered once, but had long since given up on asking. Her leader was one of few words, from what she could tell, anyway. Their conversations up to this point were short, strictly guiding her toward her goal.
Right, her goal. She snapped back to focus, Carmen still at the ready. “Agi!” She shouted again, her Persona shooting off the small blast of fire from her palms. The fireball barely reached past the first pillar of the room that they were “practicing” in, on one of the higher floors of Mementos. It quickly sputtered out, not lasting longer than a second.
She sighed, “I don’t get it! Why can’t I just do what I want to!?” Frustration clear in her voice, her shoes kicked the dirt that accumulated on the floor. Her eyes met Joker’s, his gaze seeming to cut right through her demeanor, not saying a single word. “And you’re not exactly helping, you know! Morgana said that after I awoke I should know how to work this thing!” She pointed to her Persona as if it was a carnival attraction and not a manifestation of herself.
“Mona.” He corrected her. “His name is Mona while we’re here, remember that.” He turned from her for a moment, setting himself down on the small indent near the wall. She blew out a breath. So he wasn’t going to help her? Fine! She could do this all on her own!
She called out to her Persona again. “Carmen!”
She received no response. No flourish of light, no long, flowing red dress.
Nothing at all.
“Ugh!” She yelled, ripping off her mask again. “Come on, Carmen!” Her nails dug into her skin, small pools of blood dotted her face. She whirled around, facing Joker again. “Couldn’t you—” He held up a hand, and she stopped talking. He stood from the side of the wall, approaching her slowly. As he walked, his hands reached toward his mask, his eyes seemed to ensnare her own. He stopped abruptly, his face inches from hers. His eyes were now uninhibited from his mask, which lay in his hand by his side. He grinned at her, “You wanted me to show you? Watch.”
He turned on his heel, “Eiha!” He shouted, his own Persona appearing behind him. On cue, Arsene fired a plume of dark energy, efficiently cleaving one of the pillars in half with ease. He raised an eyebrow at her. “You’ll feel it.” He said, closing his eyes. “This… energy that wasn’t there before. Something that you kept within yourself that’s asking to be free.” He shrugged at her. “That’s what Mona told me, at least.” He motioned toward her. “You try.”
She nodded. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she tossed her mask to the side, reaching out toward her other self. “Carmen.” She whispered. “Show me, please…”
In an instant, her request was acknowledged. Fire spread through her body, lighting up her skin-tight outfit in more red and orange than she thought possible. “Eep!” She yelped. “That’s not what I meant!” She quickly tried to stamp out the fire, slapping her arms with her hands.
A touch on her shoulder. “Breathe.” Joker told her. “Take a deep breath, Ann. In, out.” He exaggerated the act, breathing loudly through his nose and out through his mouth. “I-I don’t…” Her voice trailed, frazzled and panicked. He smiled at her. Despite his hand still holding onto the small fire that crept up her arm, his face showed no discomfort, further confusing her. “H-How are you—”
“That’s not important right now, just follow what I’m doing.” His voice was soft, as if she was a toddler needing to be taught how to play nice with the other children. “Deep breaths in, deep breaths out.” He mimicked again, wanting her to follow along. She took a shaky breath, acutely aware of the fire that continued to spread around her like a warm blanket in the winter. “You’re in control, Ann. The fire’s not going to hurt you if you don’t let it, alright?” She nodded weakly, continuing to take deep breaths like he told her to. “You’re doing good, keep it up.” He encouraged, his hand still firmly on her shoulder.
“H-How do you know how to do this?” She asked shakily, “I thought—” He chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that she’d never heard before from him. “I struggled a lot after I awoke to Arsene.” He gave a self-deprecated laugh. “God, you should’ve seen my casting when I was trying to protect myself down here.” He shook his head, giving her a glance. “Don’t tell Mona or Skull that, alright? I don’t think they’d let me live it down.”
She blinked. “You called me Ann.” She said, staring at him.
“And?” He gave her another one of his smirks. “What about it?”
“You told me to call everyone by their code names in here!” She pouted. “What gives!”
Joker shrugged. “You sounded like you needed a more personal talk, so I gave you one.” He smiled again, one of the rarities that she seldom saw on him. “It looks like it worked, to be fair.”
Huh? She looked around, noticing that the once blazing fire around her body now smouldered, small wisps of smoke being all that was left of her predicament. “I don’t understand…” She said, tracing her arms, feeling no residue of the fire that burned there.
“Try it again, but this time, really think about what you want Carmen to do.” He looked in her eyes at that. “When you’re casting,” As he spoke, his hand trailed from her shoulder to her hand, giving it a small squeeze of reassurance. “You’ll feel this pull in your chest, the one you’ve been feeling this entire time, right?” She gave a small nod, wanting him to continue. “When you feel it, clear your head of all distractions.” He frowned at her. “You’re stressing out too much, and I think that’s what is making it worse.” He squeezed her hand again. "Whenever you're ready."
She took a breath, trying to clear her mind as instructed.
Shiho. The gossip surrounding her at Shujin. Kamoshida.
She took another breath as she tore off her mask. Carmen sprung forth from her mask, a blazing inferno covered the perimeter around her. “Agi!” She yelled, her arm outstretched in front of her. The fireball shot off in a line before slowly curving toward the ground, morphing into a small column of fire and smoke. “I-I… I did it!” She cheered, a large smile plastered on her face. She turned to Joker, finding a small smile of his own staring back at her. “You did good, Ann.” He said simply. “Do it again, try to be more consistent.” He waved to another pillar off in the distance. “Try hitting that one next.”
Her eyes shone with determination. “Okay, I got this!” She pumped her fist, “Carmen, Agi!” She called her Persona, Carmen casting the fire spell with ease. She outstretched her arm as before, pointing toward the pillar. The fireball glided past, stopping a few meters before and fizzling out. “Huh?” Panther spoke, surprised at the outcome. “Why didn’t it work? I did the same thing as last time!”
Joker quirked an eyebrow. “Were you thinking of anything in particular?” He asked, walking over to her. She shook her head, “I was only thinking about the next time I was going to visit Shiho in the hospital, but why would that matter here?” She gave him a questioning look.
He put a hand to his chin, seeming to be in thought. “What’s wrong?” She asked, concerned.
He shook his head. “Nothing, it was just a thought I had.” He turned on his heel. “I doubt it’d work anyway, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
She caught his hand in her own. “Hey… if it means I could get help with all of this,” She motioned to her outfit and the room. “I’ll do whatever it takes.” She stared at him, a silent agreement passing between them.
He nodded. “Alright.” He blew out a breath. “I’ve heard that dancing helps clear your thoughts, at least it’s shown to help.” He offered his gloved hand to her in invitation. “If you’re alright with that, of course.”
She took his hand with a nod. “I’m alright with it, as long as you don’t step on my feet.” She teased.
His other hand circled her waist, and their dance commenced, their masks forgotten. They danced slowly for a while, both cautious enough to avoid stepping on each other’s feet for a time.
Until, of course, Joker moved in the wrong direction, pulling her feet with him.
“Hey, watch it!” She laughed, pulling herself away from his grasp for a moment to recenter herself. His mishap threw off her rhythm, having to readjust her position.
“Sorry, sorry, my bad.” His free hand went to his neck for a moment, rubbing the back of it in embarrassment. He grinned at her, “When did you learn how to dance?”
She blushed. “O-Oh, my parents used to sign me up for these classes when I was younger, since, y’know, I wanted to be a model and all.” She laughed nervously. “I never really had the chance to dance before this, though!” Her eyes met his, the silver in them would’ve been intimidating if they didn’t look so enraptured with her own.
“Oh yeah? Were you waiting for a certain someone?” He teased, his voice having a lightness that she hadn’t heard before. “A volleyball player, perhaps?” His mouth turned up into a wide grin.
“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about!” She shouted, her face burning with enough red to be mistaken for her Thief attire. He dipped her low for a moment, his arm supporting her back in the process. “How about you, huh? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say anything about dancing.”
He laughed at her poor attempt at a conversation change, but allowed it. “My parents…” His lips turned into a frown. “They used to take me to this old recital studio after school, and one of the instructors there showed me the basics.” His voice grew sharp near the end, the clipped, all business tone that she grew used to reared its head again.
“Are they… good to you?” She asked, “Your parents, I mean.” She hesitated for a moment, hoping that she wasn’t crossing a line with her question. “I-I mean, if you don’t want to answer—”
“No, it’s fine.” He sighed. “Before I was forced to move to Tokyo, they were good parents, gave me food, opportunities around the neighborhood…” His voice trailed off, lost in the memory. He shook his head. “After the whole assault thing, they practically disowned me.” His voice grew bitter as he spoke. “It was as if my entire childhood meant nothing to them. The child they raised was nothing but a blemish, and they seemed all too glad to ship me off here after.”
“Joker…” She whispered.
He grunted in protest. “Don’t worry about it. They never called after, and I don’t have any intention of calling them either.” He removed his hands from her, their dance cut short at the heavy subject. “I think that’s enough for today, don’t you?” He asked, but it didn’t really seem like much of a question.
“No, please don’t just leave it like that.” She protested. “Let me help you!” She placed a hand on his arm. “Let me at least return the favor, you’ve helped the rest of us so much recently.”
He gave her a sad smile. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’ll be fine.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, turning toward the exit. She shook her head fiercely, “I’m not going to take no for an answer.” She said, determined. “Even if I have to ask every day, I’ll try my best to help you!” She said, getting in front of him.
He shook his head fondly, “Alright, alright, if that’s what you want to do.” He sat himself on the ground, patting the spot next to him. “I’ll talk about it one more time, and then we won't talk about it again, deal?”
She smiled down at him before sitting next to him. “Deal!”
“My parents were good to me, all things considered. They took me out to eat, supported me where they could. But everything changed after that assault charge. Overnight, it was like everyone flipped a switch and started hating my every action. My friends stopped talking to me, my teachers kept giving me these stares, and my parents wouldn’t even look at me anymore.” He put his head in his hands. “A part of me still thinks that they were right to do that. Some golden child I turned out to be, huh? Changing hearts and being a delinquent transfer student…” He gave a short laugh.
“Is that what he really thinks of himself?” She thought, looking at him in shock. “That’s not true! I might not have known you for so long before this whole thing with Kamoshida and Palaces, but you’re a great person, Jo— Ren !” Her eyes shone with passion. “Not only that, but you managed to push on despite everyone saying those horrible things about you! Top of your class, juggling so many jobs… Not to mention being a great leader…” She trailed. “... and an amazing friend, too.” She looked up at him. “So don’t let anyone tell you any different, okay!? You, Ren Amamiya, are one of a kind.” She gave him a bright smile, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Anyone would be proud to have a friend like you, you know that?” Her voice broke for a moment. “I know I am…”
He sat in silence, so long that Ann almost squirmed on the ground, waiting for a response. Just when she was going to open her mouth, the teen next to her started to laugh, a small, light laugh that almost sounded unnatural given his outfit.
“Thank you, Ann. I really needed that.” He said, lifting himself off the ground. He offered a hand to her, pulling her up.
She blinked back her shock. “W-Well, it’s the truth, so don’t forget it!” She said to him, her smile returning to her face.
He shook his head fondly at her. “You should try it again, just to make sure." He kept his hand enlaced with hers, giving it a light squeeze.
She gave him a look, "After all that, I don't think I could do it even if I wanted to." She flashed him a small grin of her own, "Besides, you still owe me the rest of that dance."
He snorted, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "I'll make it up to you, okay?" He said, putting his hand back on her waist. She leaned her head into his chest, humming a tune that she'd heard once as a kid.
They danced slowly for a few minutes, no voices or music needed for their purposes.
He twirled her around for a brief moment, laughing at the look of shock that appeared on her face. "You're going to have to get used to that, you know." He said.
"Huh?"
"For Suzui-san. You're going to dance with her, aren't you?"
Her face burned. "I-I never said that!" She protested. "Besides, she would have to work so much harder for that, wouldn't she?" Her face fell, "I don't want her to feel like she'd need to learn for my sake, with her condition…"
He snorted. "With what I've seen and heard of her, she would think it'd all be worth it to see you smile." He detached his hands from her waist, nodding his head to the pillar again. "We should be going soon, it's getting late. Try one more time, alright?"
She gave him an exasperated look, "I'll try my best…" She took a breath, gently taking off her mask for the last time that day. "Maybe I could…" She muttered to herself, closing her eyes. "Dance, Carmen! Agi!" She shouted, her eyes widening to their stationary target.
In an instant, the normal fireball burst forward in a wide arc. Flying toward the pillar, the fireball connected with it in a loud boom, flecks of black stone and other material flying away from the target.
She pumped her fist in the air, clearly excited. "I did it!" She shouted, looking at Joker eagerly, "You're the best!" She smiled brightly at him.
He smiled back at her in earnest, " You did it, all I gave you was some advice." He motioned to the exit with his head, "We should get going, it's probably late out in the real world." He started to walk, Panther quickly trying to catch up and match his stride.
As they walked, she started to speak. “...Ren?” She asked.
“Hm?”
“...Do you think we could do this again?”
“That depends,” He said, “Do you mind dancing with me some more?” He gave her a grin.
“I don’t mind, as long as you don’t step on my feet next time.” She smiled.
He laughed. “I promise, it won’t happen again.”
She laughed along with him as they made their way to the real world, their hands interlinked.