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Sapnap didn't mean for this to happen. He didn't mean to do this, but it's too late.
His anger exploded again. He burst into flames, but this time, the flames were huge. Sapnap let his anger boil out until he turned around and saw Kinoko Kingdom up in flames. He gasped. He kneeled onto the ash-covered ground and cried. The smell of roasted mushrooms, burnt wood, and smoke filled the air as Sapnap continued to sob.
Little does he know; Karl has returned from another time traveling trip. Karl looked up and saw Kinoko Kingdom in flames. He gasped. "Wh-what happened here?" he asked quietly.
He heard sobbing. He turned towards the source. His eyes widened and watched Sapnap sob, muttering to himself. Little does Sapnap know, he muttered loud enough for Karl to hear.
"What have I done what have I done what have I done what have I done? I'm so stupid, I shouldn't have bottled my feelings, what the fuck is wrong with me? Karl is gonna kill me. Oh my god he's gonna leave me and I'm gonna be alone oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god I hate myself."
Karl felt tears in his eyes and clutches onto his book tightly as he walked towards Sapnap. He repeated the words in his head. He couldn't believe Sapnap is thinking like that, let alone, explode out in so much anger. He was curious as to why Sapnap exploded that bad, but he pushed that aside and instead, puts his care and sympathy towards his fiancé.
"No, nononononono. I would never!"
Sapnap shut his mouth quick. He had no idea anyone could hear him, let alone, Karl, his own fiancé.
gasp "You're back."
Karl looked at him in confusion. "Um, yeah I'm back you nimrod." He kneeled down next to Sapnap.
"What happened here?"
Sapnap tried to quiet his sniffles down, but they only got louder. "I-i- I don't know really! At one point, sniffs I'm fine and next thing I know, I'm so fucking angry that...that..."
He trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.
"That what?" Karl asked, trying to encourage Sapnap to keep talking.
"That I lost control! I exploded and now everything is in flames Karl! I ruined everything, and I ruined the place I vowed to protect." Sapnap sighed. "I'm scared I'm gonna hurt you too with these flames since I vowed to protect and love you, baby."
Sapnap continued to sniffle, as he wiped the remaining tears streaming down from his eyes. Karl set his book down and gently cupped Sapnap's cheeks with his hands. "Look at me, Sap."
Sapnap managed to look up at Karl, his fiancé, his soulmate, his everything. He felt Karl's hands wiped away the tears from his cheeks.
"I know you get angry like this, angel. I've seen it before remember?" Sapnap nodded and Karl giggled.
"Funny, I kind of have the bad memory, and yet, I remember some things still. But anyway, I know you said you won't do it again, but you can't bottle up your feelings like that, Sap. You need to talk to me about it, okay? I know I'm away a lot, but you can still talk to me, or maybe write about it, I have tons of empty books you can write in." He looked towards his library, a third of it burned down, he chuckled. "Well, there are some books you can still write in, and I can help you with that!" He cleared his throat. "Do you mind telling me what caused you to explode in this much anger?"
Sapnap couldn't help but stare right into Karl's warm brown eyes. They gave him comfort and reassurance and trust, that he never knew he needed. When he finally focused in on what Karl asked, he nodded. "Yeah, I-I think I can. Let me start from the beginning."
---
When Kinoko Kingdom was first built, he told Karl he would vow to protect this country with his life. He then went over to the prison to visit Dream, his best friend, his brother. Or so he thought.
Dream never bothered to talk to him. He felt alone, like this was all one-sided. He remembered the times where Dream went fucking insane and bombed L'Manberg. Thankfully, he got his fiancés out of there (and George of course), and they all went to make El Rapids. It was great and they all had fun, until Quackity left them alone. George went off to sleep more. Karl started to leave sometimes. Dream became more insane.
It got to the point where Karl left so often, that they needed to move away from El Rapids and make their own country, with George following behind, but no Quackity.
Maybe Quackity is busy. He was sure he'll come back.
He was wrong.
He felt the anger of those memories coming back, that he lashed out to a point that he promised he would kill Dream if he ever saw Dream leave this prison. He stormed out of there, keeping those feelings inside.
---
The next time he bottled his feelings, he heard about Las Nevadas from George. Apparently, that is where Quackity is living at now. He couldn't believe that Quackity would leave them behind and make a whole new country without them, not even giving a shit about inviting them over there and to stay with him.
He headed over there, seeing the huge casino and buildings that resembled closely to Las Vegas.
"Okay, here I go, I guess." He said as he walked inside Las Nevadas.
He found Quackity talking to a...slime hybrid? Whatever, he had to confront him.
He went up to Quackity, yelling at him, blaming him for leaving him and Karl alone, wondering why he never mentioned to them. He was worried that Quackity died. But here he is, acting like a completely different person.
Here is Quackity, yelling at Sapnap for leaving El Rapids behind, never telling him about Kinoko Kingdom, and may have mentioned about not being their fiancé anymore.
Of course, Sapnap is angrier at the fact that Quackity decided to go ahead and break off from the relationship, not even wanting to communicate with him and Karl first. Instead of trying to understand this miscommunication, he instead lashed out over how Quackity became a different person and hoped he never step foot in Kinoko Kingdom, so he couldn't hurt Karl.
He went back to Kinoko Kingdom, bottling more feelings, but of course, some of his anger lashed out of control and some trees surrounding Kinoko Kingdom caught on fire.
"Oh shit! Oh no, okay okay, where the fuck is my water bucket?! I need to put out my flamed before someon-"
"Babe?"
Shit.
Sapnap quickly put out the flames and tried to clean up the charred to the best of his abilities.
"Oh hi, Karl! I didn't see you there. How has your day been? I hope no one has been causing any trouble while I was gone and oh my god you're crying."
He dropped the water bucket and ran straight to Karl. He cupped his cheeks and wiped away the tears that were streaming down Karl's face. "Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Karl kept crying as he tried to talk through the tears. "I-I- I'm so sorry Sapnap! I saw that you exploded into flames, and I know that happens when you get really angry, and I never seen that happen before and now I feel bad that I saw it." He sniffled but kept going. "My-my memory is getting is worse, Sap. I remember us, but I-I don't remember this one guy and even things that I just try to remember in my head! I don't want to lose more of my memories! I'm scared, Sappy. I don't know what's going to happen if it gets wor-"
Sapnap quickly pecked his lips. They tasted of salt from his tears. "That was to get you to stop talking." He sighed. "Look, I don't know how to really help with memory loss, but I'm going to try my best, okay? Also, it's fine that you saw my anger episode. It happens every once in a while, and I promise it wasn't because of you. I've been stressed lately, but I promise I won't lash it out on you, alright? I love you so much, Jacobs and I vow to protect you from anything, okay?"
Karl nodded. "O-okay. I love you too, Pandas."
Sapnap leaned in for another kiss, and this time, he felt a smile against his lips, Karl's smile. He was glad he made Karl happy.
He bottled more of his feelings that day.
---
He didn't realize the vows he made, caused him to have protective issues.
When Tommy came over to visit Kinoko Kingdom, he was content that the boy was not acting all chaotic and rather, more at peace. Until he did something that Sapnap shouldn't have gotten so angry over.
Tommy wanted to stay at Kinoko Kingdom. It felt safe to him.
Sapnap didn't like that. He knew of the boy's past and how he was always around people with explosives. He doesn't trust Tommy staying here.
He mentioned to Tommy about his protective issues here.
He wanted Tommy to leave. Well, that was angry Sapnap wanted, not what the real Sapnap wanted.
He threatened Tommy with his bow, and soon, Tommy left. He felt the anger rising in his body and as soon as he looked around the place, and then back at where Tommy was walking away. He fell on the ground and sobbed.
He regretted doing that to Tommy. He was just a kid, a traumatized one, but still a kid. He knew that Karl would hate him for that. He knew that Karl would've let Tommy stay here and he would allow it. He knew that he made a terrible mistake.
But Karl isn't here right now. So, he did what he knew best. He bottled his feelings for the last time.
---
Later that night, he couldn't sleep. He decided to walk around Kinoko Kingdom. He thought of the time he felt betrayed by Dream and lost his best friend, his brother. He thought of the time where he lost one of his fiancés over capitalism. He thought of the time where he lost a potential friend, a chance to let go of the past and befriend Tommy. He thought of the times where George was always asleep and wondering if he would ever wake up. He thought of all of the times he felt stressed around the SMP. He thought of the time where he saw Karl cried and only wanted to see Karl in happy tears. He thought of the times where he vowed to take care of Karl and bottled his feelings for Karl's sake.
He thought of all the times where everyone he ever cared about, left him alone, his biggest fear coming true. All of the time where they betrayed him and changed their whole personality all around him.
This made him pissed. He was so pissed off that he screamed. He screamed as loud as he could. He couldn't handle it anymore. He is tired of being left alone. He just wants to be loved. Instead, he gets nothing in return.
He screamed some more until his throat felt raw. He breathed heavily. His anger exploded, but this time, it was huge. He couldn't control the flames. The flames are now burning Kinoko Kingdom.
All of those bottled feelings were finally out into the air.
---
By the time Sapnap finished, it was daytime. Most of the flames went away, as Sapnap managed to get more calm as he talked to Karl.
"Well, that was everything. Sorry, it was a lot. But, I had so much anger bottled up and I didn't realize it would get this bad. I'm so so sorry Karl. I burned down the country you wanted to create, and I made you cried again. You saw me explode again and I promised I wouldn't do it again. I'm sorry for everything. I understand if you hate and don't love me anymore, Jacobs."
Karl looked at him. He stared into those dark, onyx-colored eyes, and laughed. He laughed so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes again. He didn't know he had more tears left after crying from hearing Sapnap's explanation.
"I shouldn't be laughing, but here I am. Pandas, I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I still love you with all of my heart. I can't believe you would ever think that, let alone say that to my face. But anyway, it is okay. I don't like the fact that you bottled up that much anger in you and I hope you don't do that again, but it's alright that I cried, okay? I'm gonna cry. That is what I do, what you do, what everyone does. Sure, you may be part demon, you are still human. It's okay to have these emotions. I understand that you explode into flames when you get pissed off, but hey, I am here to help with you that. Just like you are helping me with my memory loss, even if you don't have the slightest idea on what to do." He sighed, catching his breath.
"Sap, we can rebuild this country together, alright? We can even get Foolish's help again. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."
Sapnap looked at him. Karl still loves him.
He doesn't hate me oh my god.
"You-you still love me? You're not mad at me?" Sapnap sniffled again, feeling a few more warm, wet tears fall down his face.
Karl kissed the tears on his face. "No, I'm not mad at you, babe. I forgive you, Sap. I hope you can accept my forgiveness because I really want you to, and I hope you still love me as well."
Sapnap smiled. He wrapped his arms around Karl's waist and pulled him closer. He leaned in and kissed him like it was the last time he will ever kiss Karl. He felt Karl kissed back and he couldn't help but smile. They continued to kiss until they ran out of air. They separated their lips, their foreheads leaning against each other. They both smiled and began to laugh.
"Of course, I still love you, you nimrod. I love you so much and I hope you don't forget it."
Karl giggled. "I won't. Now, come on. I noticed our house is still pretty intact. Do you wanna go inside and make hot chocolate and cuddle? I could go for some Sapnap cuddles right now."
Sapnap got up from the ground, helping Karl up too. "That sounds amazing, darling." He pecked Karl's lips. "Let's go."
Karl picked up his book in his one hand, the other interlocking with Sapnap's hand. They walked towards their house and went inside. Sapnap changed into more comfy clothes (basically wearing one of Karl's hoodies), while Karl made some hot chocolate and got the blankets out. He went upstairs to find one of Sapnap's hoodie and Sapnap himself. They went down together and sat on the couch, getting close to each other as they possibly could, holding their hot chocolate in their hands, and draping the blankets over each other.
As Sapnap put his mug down, he put his head near Karl's neck, snuggling as close as he can. He heard Karl's giggle and his heart felt so warm. He didn't realize how forgiving Karl can be. He was so glad that he still has Karl to love and care for, as Karl does as well. He looked up at Karl and gave him another peck on the lips, tasting the sweet hot chocolate that he drank a few seconds ago.
"I love you so much, Jacobs. Thank you for forgiving me, and of course, I accept your forgiveness."
Karl smiled. "I love you too, Pandas. Don't ever bottle up your feelings again, promise?"
He put out one of his pinkies and Sapnap latched his pinky onto Karl's.
"I promise, no I vow to never bottle up my feelings again and talk to you or write whenever I'm feeling out of control."
Karl let go and gave Sapnap one last smooch before he started to lean against Sapnap and slowly drift into sleep.
Sapnap played with his hair as he felt sleep finally catching up with him.
He finally felt at peace.