Chapter Text
Tommy was just fine being seen as the one in the friend group who wore more feminine outfits, like Eret on occasion. He’d wear skirts more often, sometimes a simple color blouse, maybe even a summer dress. Ranboo and Tubbo seemed very proud and happy for Tommy, telling him how good he looked when he wore something he wasn’t sure about.
Of course, there were days when he just wore jeans and a t-shirt, which were fine too, Ranboo and Tubbo complimented him on those days as well. He knew he was accepted, so why did something feel so off about it all?
It’s not that he didn’t like wearing dresses and skirts, he loved it. He felt really pretty, especially with matching makeup. He was always pulling Ranboo out to a field to do photoshoots when he felt exceptionally pretty, and Ranboo was more than happy to do it. Tubbo would even get in on it, posing with Tommy, wearing a more masc outfit that matched Tommy’s.
So, it wasn’t the outfits that felt weird on him. Then what was it?
Tommy looked in the full-length body mirror he’d bought, wearing a summer dress Ranboo had bought him for his birthday. He liked it a lot, doing a small spin in it, he chuckled to himself, fluffing his hair up. He’d found a matching necklace, a silver chain with a blue pendant. Same with rings, he liked adding jewelry to his looks. However, he still couldn’t place why he felt so...off.
He checked the time, sighing gently, slipping on his shoes for the day. He needed to go to work. He did one last glance at the mirror, before grabbing the bag he took with him whenever he didn’t have pockets to carry his things. He walked along the road, headphones in, ignoring the people around him. He’d gotten good at doing that, feeling himself in an outfit he knew he looked good in.
Tommy worked with animals, which he loved because he loved animals. Luckily, his job didn’t have a dress code, so he could wear whatever he wanted, and he worked with mostly kindhearted and lovely people, so he felt comfortable working in skirts and dresses.
Today, he was working with baby animals, helping feed them and keep them warm, when he was needed to help stock some shelves in the front because they were short-staffed, and then help handle the animals out front. Tommy did so happily.
As he was putting things on shelves after scanning them into the system, he was tapped on the shoulder, “Excuse me, miss?” An elder lady said, and Tommy jumped, turning to face her. “Oh, I’m sorry. I saw the dress and-”
“No, no, it’s alright? What may I help you with?” Tommy asked, smiling kindly, though the word ‘miss’ was ringing through his head like church bells. It...threw his world off-balance. Which was weird because it wasn’t the first time he’d been mistaken for a girl in an outfit like this.
He helped the elder lady, who was as sweet as sugar to him and even complimented his style before taking what she needed and going to pay and leave. Tommy smiled, going back to his work, thinking about the small slip up all day.
When he returned home, he was met with Ranboo. The house smelled of cleaner, meaning Ranboo had just gotten done with scrubbing everything down like they did every day. Ranboo was now sitting on the couch and looked up at Tommy when he walked in. “Aw, you wore it,” Ranboo smiled, and Tommy chuckled.
“Of course I did,” Tommy chuckled, taking his shoes off. “Do you really have to clean the house every time you get home? Always smells like cleaner in here,” He grumbled, sitting down next to Ranboo.
“I’ll buy a candle,” Ranboo mumbled, “But yes because I like a clean house.”
“Really? Because your room looks like absolute shit,” Tommy teased, getting a pillow thrown at him. Tommy laughed and threw it back, Ranboo caught it easily and stuffed it underneath his arm.
“I got called ‘miss’ today,” Tommy said after a while of comfortable silence.
Ranboo hummed, clicking their phone off, “On purpose?” He asked.
“No, an older woman only saw me from behind I guess. She was very lovely,” Tommy said. “And it’s not the first time I’ve been mistaken for a woman before, so,” Tommy shrugged, and Ranboo grinned a bit. Tommy glanced at them and pressed his eyebrows together, “What?” He asked.
“It’s been stuck in your head all day, hasn’t it?” Ranboo asked, leaning back against the arm of the couch.
“No, shut up,” Tommy said, face growing hot.
“Oh c’mon, Tommy. Don’t play dumb with me, you know I’m observant,” Ranboo said, “I could tell from the first day I met you,” They said.
“Could tell what?” Tommy asked, and Ranboo raised an eyebrow, getting a huff in response. “It was just an accident, it doesn’t mean anything,” Tommy mumbled.
“If you say so, Tommy,” Ranboo said, “I’m not here to force you into something, but I’ve noticed you seem off. Like I was months ago?” Ranboo said, and Tommy glanced at them.
“Have I really been like that?” Tommy asked gently.
“Maybe not as extreme, but I’ve seen your face every time you're referred to. Why do you think I’ve been calling you by your name rather than a pronoun more often?” Ranboo asked, and Tommy thought about it.
“Well, what does Tommy want?” Tubbo asked over the phone.
“I don’t know, let me ask,” Ranboo said, “Tommy! What do you want for dinner!” Ranboo called.
“Pizza!” Tommy called back, walking into the living room. “The one with the chicken and BBQ sauce.”
“Tommy wants chicken BBQ pizza,” Ranboo said into the phone, typing on their computer. “Yeah, I’m fine with that. Alright, we’ll see you soon.”
Was one example, and another.
“Yeah, well Tommy doesn’t want cake,” Ranboo said, “Tommy wants ice cream! Right, Tommy?” They added, trying to get Tommy to agree with them.
“No! He wants cake!” Tubbo said, and Ranboo’s eyes immediately shifted to Tommy, who hadn’t noticed it before, but a look of something...unreadable flashed in their eyes before it went back to playful banter.
“No! Ice cream!”
“How about both?” Tommy offered, laughing loudly in the memory.
“I…I hadn’t noticed, actually,” Tommy mumbled, leaning back against the couch. “What…what was it like for you? Figuring out your identity?”
“Well, at first it was weird. I didn’t understand why exactly I felt how I felt but I knew something was wrong. I didn’t feel like I…fit in the box I was meant to fit into,” Ranboo said.
“I mainly just looked up what I could be going through, or whatever, because I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. I found a community online that helped me understand what non-binary was, and what fit underneath the nonbinary umbrella,” Ranboo explained, “But, it’s different for everybody, even if it’s just a small feeling you have or something that causes you to rethink everything and in your life.”
Tommy raised an eyebrow, “So, what falls underneath the Non-binary umbrella?” He asked.
“Well, the term non-binary itself is under the transgender umbrella. Non-binary is someone who identifies or expresses with a gender identity that isn’t inherently male or female, you know that?” Ranboo said, and Tommy nodded.
“And then under that umbrella, there is an androgynous side of it, which is where you don’t present as neither masculine nor feminine. There’s gender-fluid, which is like Eret, who can be both feminine and masculine depending on the day and everything. Agender, which is someone who doesn’t identify with one specific gender. There’s gender-nonconforming and genderqueer, and others,” Ranboo explained. “A lot of these are similar, but there are differences within each of them. You can find one you identify with. Or you could just use the umbrella term like I do,” Ranboo explained.
“Well…how do I know?” Tommy asked.
“That’s entirely up to you, what you feel comfortable with,” Ranboo explained. “And it can change and adapt to how you feel,” Ranboo explained.
“So…if I wanted to go by her? Or they?” Tommy asked, leg bouncing “How… like I mean…”
“So, if you wanted to go by she/her one day, it would be like,” Ranboo hummed. “This is Tommy, she’s one of my best friends and my roommate. Her brother, Wilbur, is newly married and she was his best man,” Ranboo said, and Tommy grinned at the sound of it.
“And if you wanted to use they/them, it would be like: This is Tommy, they’re one of my best friends and my roommate. Their brother, Wilbur, is newly married and they were his best man,” Ranboo said, and Tommy's leg bounced some more.
“And could you use all three in a sentence?” Tommy asked.
“Mhm. This is Tommy, she’s one of my best friends and my roommate. Their brother, Wilbur, is newly married, and he was his best man,” Ranboo said easily. Tommy grinned, his leg bounced happily and Ranboo chuckled. “You like when the pronouns are mixed?” He asked.
Tommy nodded slowly, “But what does that mean?”
“Well, you could be quite a few things with a mix of pronouns. Like Bigender, Genderfluid, GenderQueer, or just unlabeled who uses any pronouns,” Ranboo explained. “It’s whatever you feel fits you the most, look into the definition closely, figure out what parts match up with you as close as you can get,” Ranboo said. “I can only explain so much.”
Tommy nodded, standing up quickly before turning back to Ranboo, he smiled, opening his mouth to say something before closing it again, Ranboo raised an eyebrow. “Thank you,” Tommy said, and Ranboo smiled with a nod before Tommy disappeared again.
Tommy grabbed his laptop, opening it to try and determine just what exactly he might identify with.